This is Holy Cannoli. This podcast is all about MAKING SENSE OF life, who we are and why we’re here. Life is Sacred and life is strange. We can experience The Divine, HOLY, transcendent in the most random ways, random locations and through the most random people. This podcast is about you, it's about me, it's about film and TV, it's our world. It’s about God. It's about finding the sacred in the strange. Subscribe and settle in for a listen every Monday Hosted by Bay Area husband and wife Tony and Wendy Gapastione with special guests.
Miscarriages, infertility, adoption and being a mixed race family in the South with MFT Cathie Quillet.
Cathie is a long time friend of ours who now lives in Nashville, Tennessee and works as a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. In her work she specializes in serving women ( and their partners ) to help them through the stress of infertility. Her and her husband adopted two boys from Ethiopia. In this podcast she shares transparently about the pain of miscarriages, infertility, raising a child with special needs and the beauty and challenge of becoming a mixed race family in the South.
Follow her on Instagram:
Forgiveness is NOT a weapon.
Tony's college friend Jelani Greenidge talks about his article on the now viral hug + forgiveness of Brandt Jean + Amber Guyger.
Connect with Jelani here:
Listen to his music here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqXTZG-tlWY
Read his article here:
It's midnight and Wendy wanted to record an episode, a podcast on pastoral confessions. Uh.... Why not? What could go wrong?
Well, Tony could talk about his BUTT CHEEKS (again) and could offend people with his opinions on SPEAKING IN TONGUES,. So there's that.
Oh, well. It's real, opinionated and the stories of just one pastor. But he still loves Jesus, the Bible and the church (no matter what anyone says!).
We can't speak for everyone's experience but hope in some way you can relate... and laugh.
Anyone have any church stories that you want to share? Looking for all sorts of topics: Money, relationships, Sunday School, sermons, awkward interactions. If that's you...give us an email firstname.lastname@example.org
Never forget God loves you. He...She does! (And we know that might offend someone, but...just think about it.
And please subscribe, rate us and share with a friend.
Let's do this. Tony starts off a new series of conversations, or CONFESSIONS: sharing real issues, anecdotes, doubts, questions and frustrations about being a pastor.
Submit your ideas, questions, and stories.
Angie Ibarra shares her story of finding her purpose for empathy and compassion in the midst of pain. Feeling alone and voiceless growing up in a large family---she longed for a mentor and a place she could dream and learn...but had a difficult time finding one.
Now, her story is one that gives voice to those who don't---recognizing that every child deserves love, value and the ability to learn and imagine. In 2007 she created her organization GENERATIONS UNITED, in the same year of the biggest devastation of her life. Take a listen to her story and see how you might relate.
Want to VOLUNTEER? It only takes ONE HOUR a week to impact a child.
Big news! I (Tony) took a part time job serving as a pastor with my friend MATT NIGHTINGALE.
Two days a week I'll be driving up north over the Golden Gate Bridge to serve as a co-pastor.
This is Matt's spiritual direction community:
This one is all me. Solo. (Tony).
I just saw AVENGERS End Game last night. No spoilers here but I did have my own personal encounter with someone who seemed to be my personal Thanos for thirty minutes. Why did I let a jerk get the best of me? How can I learn to let go of the toxicity spewed out by others?
These words that came from the cross, from a humble man being murdered.
"Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."
Villainizing people is easy but not letting them affect you is not.
But even villains are complex humans with fears and pains. And most times it's not about you.
Judy Peterson is a force to be reckoned with. She's a storyteller, pastor and a deep thinker who practices what she preaches until the point of no return...And it's safe to say she'd go even farther than whatever point was drawn in the sand if it meant walking with Jesus where he walked. She's not your typical pastor (and neither was Jesus). She shares her deep pains, great joys and love of God and scripture in this podcast!
Judy gave me (Tony) permission to share her personal email with Holy Cannoli listeners who wanted to be in touch with her (in kindness). If you'd like to contact her I'm happy to hear you out email@example.com.
From the MISSION FRIENDS FOR INCLUSION WEBSITE:
If you would like to communicate with Judy, Better Together will be fielding those messages and sharing them with her.
Judy was the campus pastor of my alma mater North Park University from 2006-2018 and shares her journey on this podcast and in detail here:
An Open Letter to My Church, by Pastor Judy Peterson
Clarity is reasonable and ambiguity is harmful.
That is the mission of Sarah Ngu + George Mekhail. To cause less harm for women and the LGBTQ+ community. They promote honesty and transparent communications for churches on their websites and more!
Follow them on Instagram!
Connection with Sarah
and George on Twitter
Garrett Brown was a church planter, pastor on staff for a church for years and now serves some of the most elite young thinkers in the world.
A discussion on scripture and Stanford.
Here's the group he leads: Christian Union
Connect with him on Twitter.
Anti-racist educator, writer, and activist ANDRE HENRY joins the HOLY CANNOLI PODCAST.
Find him on Instagram:
Dig in, listen and get activated.
Want to sign up for Andre's HOPE AND HARD PILLS?
Want to become a patron of his work and financially support him?
Corinne (from Ep 27) is back to give us an update about her recent surrogacy experience, her response to Nathan Phillips and the Washington DC right to life protest, as well as her experience at the Grammys! We had to get her back on since she's packing up and moving out of California! Enjoy this interview!
Up & Coming with BraveMaker
Monday March 25th, 2019
Bias film & Discussion at Century 20 in Redwood City Ca
Take the ILLICIT BIAS ASSESSMENT
Tuesday April 30th --Fox Theater
Criminal Justice Reform film & discussion (more info TBA) with our new corporate sponsor TBA!
Tuesday May 13th
Fight Cancer with Film
David Hayward is a living example of someone embracing the sacred and strange of life. Living in New Brunswick Canada, David is a self proclaimed graffiti artist (on the walls of religion) who goes by "The Naked Pastor." You'll have to listen to find out why. David uses his own stories of pastoring a church in Canada to connect with thousands world-wide online with his personal experience of reconstructing his faith. After leaving his official church pastor position he became self-employed (after some difficult years of learning) and he now curates online communities and enjoys provocative and interactive discussions. His art and cartoons say it all.
Follow him here:
UPCOMING MARCH 2019 EVENTS.
Sunday March 10th Sexuality & Scripture discussion
Monday 3/25 7pm BIAS FILM screening and discussion
We normally put out our episodes on Monday but since our friend Matt is in town for the Friday 2/22/19 BraveMaker event we recorded a conversation on creating art, church (of course) and culture.
Author, speaker, wife, & mom.
Cara's illuminating memoir paints a beautiful path from white privilege toward racial healing, from ignorance toward seeing the image of God in everyone she meets.
Her book on Amazon is here.
From the snowy mountains of Park City, Utah, home of the Sundance Film Festival comes the story of Lamonte White. Knowing he had been adopted from six months old, Lamonte was curious to learn more about this biological family in his adult life.
So he filed some official paperwork with the State of New Jersey where he lived. He quickly found himself in a new story discovering a whole family that was closer than he ever could have imagined.
Something very similar was in a recent documentary called: Three Identical Strangers. (Lamonte was adopted from the SAME agency) https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/three-identical-strangers-most-watched-200947933.html
Family is a sacred and strange thing but this story reminds us that DNA is not the only thing that ties us together, but it does help define us.
Follow Lamonte, AKA Monty on IG
Take a look at his company
He was a PAID pastor, now... he's not paid anymore. He's STILL a pastor (at large) and figuring things out about what it means to be a person of faith and a part of the church (or not), like us all. He's got a lot to say and it's fun. Artist, friend, co-owner of our turtle, CHIP in college.
Meet my friend from college Dave Diller.
Dan is a pastor, teacher and community leader in Minneapolis Minnesota. Dan seeks to affirm and include the LGBTQ+ community in his congregation despite pressure and threats that he could lose ministry credentials, his reputation and maybe even the church in which he leads. Take a listen with an open mind and heart.
Links to give you more background on Dan.
BraveMaker LGBTQ+ film, music and live podcast event
Our last conversation of the year is with a pastor, church leader and a theologian who loves the scriptures. The way he thinks about following Jesus will challenge, inspire and potentially rattle you. Take a risk and listen to Kevin Neuner of Palo Alto's Spark Church and see how you might also live the sacred and strange way of living by values instead of belief statements.
Sunday March 10th, 2019 event:
Estefania Hermosillo has her own immigrant story. With a 4.1 GPA in high school she had high hopes of going to a University in California but she was told (by a misinformed guidance counselor) that she wouldn't be eligible for scholarships because she was an undocumented immigrant. So she didn't apply and went to community college... but she soon learned information that would change her life and the lives of many others in which she now supports. This is her story and thousands of others who are a part of IMMIGRANTS RISING, educating students to seek their collegiate dreams.
If you'd like to meet Estafania she will be on the panel discussion at the screening of feature film COLLISIONS on Monday December 17th, 7pm at Century 20 in Redwood City. Tickets can be purchased here:
Corinne is a proud Native American advocating and educating anyone who will listen. She speaks, she writes and she also carries babies...in her womb...for other people...because she's a surrogate mother.
Just in time for the Christmas season listen to the story of a woman giving birth for the benefit of others.
Corinne is occupied Muwekma Ohlone Territory Oglala/Mohawk/Swiss/Indo, Phenomenally Indigenous, and writer for Powwows.com.
Founder of Buffalo Project.
Find out more on her Instagram page.
If you have a STRANGE/SACRED holiday STORY to share email: firstname.lastname@example.org or shoot us a message on the Facebook page and we'll put it to music and/or Tony will dramatically re-enact it on the podcast.
Remember us for your GIVING TUESDAY donations and end of year tax deductible contributions
Wendy recommends podcaster Jen Hatmaker's "favorite things" if you want ideas for good gifts that are ethically sourced.
She's known as many things. Writer, wife, new mom...but in some circles she's known as a "christian culture enthusiast" . Laura Turner made her way in the world as a pastor's kid and somehow survived. Her parents are John and Nancy Ortberg and she is the oldest child of three. She's faced crippling anxiety most of her life which has become a major cornerstone to her writing. She endeavors to make the often shameful and secretive pains we hide, like the difficult journey to motherhood, stories in which her readers can relate. With grace, humility and candor she shares her sacred and strange life of prank calling from her Dad's mega-church office, crying in the car with her newborn son Chance, celebrating a sister who became a brother, and her new fave binge-worthy Netflix show who's title will make you giggle.
Episode 25 is a gift that will keep on giving.
The Why Christian conference in San Francisco April 2019
On her miscarriage:
Other books referenced in our conversation
(Oh and JERKY BOYS is the prank calling guys that I was referencing).
You asked. We answered and we didn't hold back.
This episode includes Game of Throne spoilers, potty talk and TMI about Tony's most embarrassing moment. Sorry.
Send your complaints to email@example.com
Adult language advisory.
Jesus taught his disciples to pray: Give us this day our DAILY BREAD. What if it meant more than just asking God for our needs and waiting for provision to fall from the sky? What if it included asking and seeking provision from each other? Think about it and give us your thoughts on the Facebook page.
Also---apologies in advance--Tony sings on this episode...and he sings CHER ...but it's Jack from Will and Grace's fault. Listen for the story.
If you want to donate financially or through our AMAZON wishlist
If you have AIRLINE or CAR RENTAL MILES to donate to get Tony to Sundance Film Fest in January 2019 email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Your generosity would be greatly appreciated.
She's known as a comedienne who makes people laugh but she has a heart for justice and truth...and wants you to know there are TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO if you meet her at one of her shows. So watch out or she will CUT you...but she LOVES Jesus so it's all good.
Follow her on her socials
Get tickets to her shows & check out her tour and swag here:
Watch NEIGHBOR on Amazon and see Anjelah in Tony's short film.
Oh and don't forget to follow HER DOG
Good friend of Matt Nightingale---Jerron Hess tells his story of growing up in a small German Baptist Community that sought to steer clear of any influence from the world in order to preserve their faith and christian community. He realized he needed to come out with his sexuality, leave the community, and step out into the world to both find and accept himself.
He's quite the creative artist and tells a compelling narrative of his coming out experience that reminds us how life is both sacred and strange.
Follow his life and art at www.instagram.com/gaygermanbaptist
Friend of the podcast MATT NIGHTINGALE (Ep 9 & 10) received a lot of feedback and questions from his story. He gracefully responded to one earnest podcast listener's inquiries with a personal audio recording and gave us permission to share it here!
Here are the 5:
1) Is homosexuality a sin? How do we know?
2) Can we share some resources?
3) Since it appears that God's design is heterosexuality (penises and vaginas, babies, etc.), how is homosexuality OK?
4) How can an ally be an ally without seeming to support all the brokenness in the LGBTQ community too?
5) How does early childhood trauma play into the development of homosexuality?
Follow Matt on Socials
Matt's Message with THE QUEST
The whole conversation started when Wendy asked me (Tony) why I post certain things on social media and we ended up just talking and recording the whole thing as a podcast! In addition we had a great time digesting this week's craziness in our country (Supreme Court nomination) as well as responding to last week's episode 18 on suicide.
A brave, in-depth and honest discussion with a mother who lost her son to suicide in the same year her husband suffered through cancer yet found hope through the most unthinkable journey of pain.
Great tips about how to understand grief as well as insight for parents who care for children with depression and/or mental illness.
Listeners should be advised: This discussion may trigger strong emotions.
Gabe grew up in Stockton and was the first of his family to go to college. He had his heart set on a certain destiny but his plans were changed when we found himself arrested and sitting in jail for a week, an event that heaped shame upon his life. That criminal record attached to his name prevented him from getting the job he always wanted. Instead he went on a strange journey that brought him many sacred experiences (including crying in his car) that eventually gave him a tassel from Stanford University.
Connect with him on instagram:
Filmmakers Sean McCarthy & Elizabeth Mitchell created an award winning digital series on iTunes & Amazon called DOUCHEHOLICS. Can you find HOLY MOMENTS in raunchy comedy and jokes about male anatomy? Listen to find out. We had lots of deep discussions about life, guilt, storytelling, male anatomy, films, and male anatomy. Yes, lots of crotch talk. Sorry?! Needless to say, this episode has lots of ADULT LANGUAGE not for sensitive or young ears.
Find them on Instagram:
Their series website:
Their production company:
Tony shares a message he gave with a local Bay Area church on hearing and seeing God..in the strangest most unexpected ways through content that we might dismiss as being uncomfortable or inappropriate. What is God saying to us through TV shows like THE HAND MAID'S TALE? or Recent films like SORRY TO BOTHER YOU or BLINDPSPOTTING. Sometimes many of us judge pop-culture for all it's raunchiness but if we are willing (and can handle it) we just might encounter truth that could change our lives...afterall even the Bible is rated R at times.
Choose ONE. Hope to see you there.
Brave Maker Vision Night # 1 Friday 9/21/18 7pm
Brave Maker Vision Night #2 9/29/18 7pm
Michelle Vilchez is the executive director of the Peninsula Conflict Resolution Center in the Bay Area. She's passionate about creating empathetic communities and helping humans get better at conflict, take responsibilities for their emotions, and improve their abilities to resolve conflict better by learning to listen, ask questions, make observations and be aware of one's tone of voice and body language.
She speaks all across the country building bridges where there are divisions in faith communities and those interested in being equipped to have difficult conversations around race, politics, sexual orientation and more.
October 12, 2018 event tickets:
The Bible must be the most debated text of all time. What does it really mean? What is story? What is commandment? What is poetic license and what is history? In episode 13 Tony talks with his former seminary professor DR. DANIEL KIRK about how we can read the Bible better.
Blog Tony wrote on getting a C
Article from Luke Timothy Johnson
Want to support the work of this podcast? Consider donating monthly or a one time gift:
Books from Daniel Kirk
Part 2 of the conversation with Tony's mom, Robin. **Warning**
This conversation contains strong words and discussion about suicide. October 14th, 2012 Tony's grandma took her own life. In this episode Robin discusses and processes the grief of losing her mom and how beauty came from dark times. Robin also shares about fostering and adopting kids and how she came to hear God's voice and let Jesus out of her proverbial closet.
We all hear voices. We hear our own negative voices in our head, sometimes they come from loved ones or we hear demeaning put-downs at school and at work...but when/if we listen..we'll hear the gentle, loving and compassionate voice of God that woos us and tells us who we really are. Usually it's simple words like, "I love you," or "I am here." Sometimes it's one word. "RUN!!" Stay tuned to hear Tony's mom, Robin, share her story of finding herself in an unwanted pregnancy, healing from the pain of physical and emotional abuse and hearing God's voice in a very unexpected place. If you'd like to add to the conversation tweet us (using #holycannolipodcast) or go to our Facebook page: Where have you heard "God" speak? Did you ever hear God's voice in a strange place? Where was it? What did God say?
In episode 10 Matt continues to share this story, accepting himself as gay and loved by God. In this episode he shares about learning to have conversations with others who push back, encouraging others to re-look at what they've been taught in the scriptures or been told through the church and honestly shares about the pain & heartache in his journey.
Justin Lee's book: Torn
Matt's national anthem singing
Matt's Tedx Talk
Matt's music on iTunes
Matt on Twitter
Matt on Facebook
Matt on Instagram
Matt's Message on coming out
Episode 9 features one of my (Tony) best friends. This story has spanned almost twenty years and has been instrumental in shaping how I see one of culture's most challenging issues around sexuality and theology. This story is personal but has so many ramifications on how we see and treat people in the church but also any where in the world we encounter someone of the LGBTQ community. I'm grateful for the freedom to be able to discuss this important issue. I believe it will open your mind and challenge your assumptions in both a sacred and strange ways.
Matt's story is featured here:
We could talk about the church forever.
Our special guest is TERRI SMITH in conversation about the church & the LGBTQ community. Terri discusses the challenges of confronting her own beliefs, wrestling with scripture, accepting and reconciling with her son, changing her understanding of God, and seeking to better the church and other people of faith. For years she tried to "pray the gay away" for her teenage son and well into his twenties but a series of circumstances helped Terri "repent" (change her thinking). Now she is a new woman, a new mom & a new follower of Jesus. Having a gay son was the best thing that ever happened to her.
3-https://www.reformationproject.org/ (Matthew Vines)
In episode 7 we welcome our good friend INDELISA MONTORO of Royal Bloom (www.royalbloomboutique.com) to join the conversation about what it means to be the church. Indelisa is an artist, a creator, a storyteller who uses the beauty of plants and flowers in her event planning work. She has a unique understanding of what it means for each of us to understand who we are in the context of the church. We dialogue about the great beauty and goodness of being the church as well as the times we miss the point and create ugliness in our consumerism and unwillingness to change and embrace God. How do we handle being wounded by those who hurt us from within the church or deal with those who are antagonistic in their theological opinions? Might their be new & different ways in which we can express our faith & worship God, who is never changing? How can we look back into history and see how the church has changed for good & find ways to embrace and welcome and not limit or hinder the future?
Ana and Rafael Avendaño have something to say. Please listen. In Episode 6, this powerful couple who fight for justice, advocate for civil rights, and constantly find ways to help those in need challenge our thinking and misconceptions about immigration and refugees. Rafael and Ana invite us into a crucial conversation about humanity that we all need right now. This is an episode to listen together with others. Go ahead and make a pot of coffee, settle in and discuss. Are we willing to compassionately disrupt toxic leadership? Pastors and leaders this one will be especially challenging for you. Our silence is detrimental. People need us to step up, speak out and take a stand. When we do, we are creating the free America we all want to live in. This is sacred work.
In episode FIVE Tony and Wendy are back together to banter and talk about Tony's passion for movies, staying in the Bay Area for the new endeavor called Brave Maker, and why it's good to have the $#!T scared out of you sometimes. Also we welcome our first podcast sponsor: www.kumbregear.com. Go shopping!
In episode 4 Tony goes back to his roots. He discusses his journey of faith, discovering his passion and calling to create, and wrestling with understanding of how God was involved in it all. We have added a "grown-up language" warning at the beginning of podcasts with some potential uncomfortable or explicit language! So parents, or anyone with sensitive ears with an aversion toward conversations of sex or expletives... YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (as our daughter would say). You might want to avoid listening or else secretly listen when no one else is around. NO SHAME! God loves you. Oh, and please chime in on the Facebook page with thoughts, questions or comments. And what did you think of Wendy's pronunciation question?
In this episode we (Tony and Wendy) talk with CAROL KERR, Wendy's mom! Carol was the one who suggested the name of the podcast. We talk about the power (and awkwardness of hugs) and how we can experience God's healing in uncomfortable interactions. We also talk about why we need to accept ourselves, who we are and what we bring to the world.
This is the very first season episode ONE of Holy Cannoli! A podcast about making sense of who we are and why we are here! Life is sacred and life is strange. In E1S1 my wife Wendy and I discuss what the podcast will be. We discuss elements of our marriage how we see the world and each other. We discuss what we should name this podcast. I had strong opinions and so did she. Who ultimately won? Well, you'll have to listen to find out.