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Homeopathic ASMR

Homeopathic ASMR

By Dan Lew

ASMR, repeatedly and thoroughly diluted.
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Computer fan noise under high load

Homeopathic ASMRAug 04, 2021

00:00
13:12
Uploading the final episode of your joke podcast

Uploading the final episode of your joke podcast

Thanks for listening!

Jun 22, 202212:25
Demolishing a building next to a full-blast jet engine during an earthquake near an erupting volcano

Demolishing a building next to a full-blast jet engine during an earthquake near an erupting volcano

SORRY, CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN? IT'S A LITTLE LOUD HERE.

Jun 15, 202232:13
Failing to get the hint from the person you're unsuccessfully flirting with

Failing to get the hint from the person you're unsuccessfully flirting with

So let me tell you about this podcast I make, it's called homeopathic ASMR. Oh, you don't know what homeopathy is? Or ASMR? I'm sure you will want to know, let me explain...

Jun 08, 202221:24
Farting

Farting

Fwwwwwt

Jun 01, 202205:13
Spending all your free time figuring out what activity to do instead of just doing something

Spending all your free time figuring out what activity to do instead of just doing something

TV? Or a video game? Or a book? or...

May 25, 202242:15
Watching the latest Marvel movie at home

Watching the latest Marvel movie at home

I'm sure THIS is the one that will actually be good

May 18, 202202:10:25
Waiting in line at the grocery store

Waiting in line at the grocery store

Ugh picked the wrong line again.

May 11, 202204:35
Contemplating the far flung future

Contemplating the far flung future

Does any of this matter if none of this will exist trillions of years from now?

May 04, 202221:25
House fires that ruin a recording of a podcast episode

House fires that ruin a recording of a podcast episode

The smoke alarms really ruin the ambience of this recording

Apr 27, 202243:25
Thinking of new episode ideas

Thinking of new episode ideas

There are only so many things that produce sound in the world, it's hard to find the next thing that makes noise.

Apr 20, 202209:53
Sitting through yet another tantrum from your toddler

Sitting through yet another tantrum from your toddler

...........sigh..........

Apr 13, 202232:15
Refreshing a page so you can be the first to buy the hot new item

Refreshing a page so you can be the first to buy the hot new item

Scalpers are ruining everything; I have to buy five just to recoup the cost of one!

Apr 06, 202216:06
Counting the number of listeners to your niche podcast

Counting the number of listeners to your niche podcast

I'm gonna need ALL my hands

Mar 30, 202200:10
Folding laundry poorly

Folding laundry poorly

Fitted sheets, what the heck do you do with these

Mar 23, 202212:25
Dropping rose petals on a bed

Dropping rose petals on a bed

ASMR after dark

Mar 16, 202209:32
Constructing a LEGO bonsai tree

Constructing a LEGO bonsai tree

Sometimes you just have to reconnect with your childhood by buying expensive toys, just like your parents used to do.

Mar 09, 202241:02
Practicing piano

Practicing piano

Dun dun dun DUNNNNNNN

Mar 02, 202205:25
Cracking eggs to make omelets

Cracking eggs to make omelets

You've gotta crack a few eggs if you want to make a hit podcast.

Feb 23, 202203:24
Cleaning up after hosting a party

Cleaning up after hosting a party

Beer. Wine. Chips. Hor d'oeuvres. Paper towels. Stains.

Feb 16, 202219:22
Snoring

Snoring

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Feb 09, 202215:25
Cleaning a mechanical keyboard by taking every key off, polishing it, then placing it back on

Cleaning a mechanical keyboard by taking every key off, polishing it, then placing it back on

I really have to stop snacking at the computer. :/

Feb 02, 202233:13
Walking through freshly fallen snow

Walking through freshly fallen snow

Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. 

Jan 26, 202224:39
Debating whether to bid on an item on eBay

Debating whether to bid on an item on eBay

Should you try to snipe it, or just set it to your max value? How much will it hurt if you lose it?

Jan 19, 202206:33
Failing to get your toddler to eat vegetables

Failing to get your toddler to eat vegetables

You need your toddler to be fed or they'll meltdown soon, but if they don't eat healthy then you have failed as a parent. What do you do?

Jan 12, 202211:25
Doomscrolling Twitter

Doomscrolling Twitter

It's late, bedtime mode has already made your screen black and white, yet you can't stop.

Jan 05, 202225:32
That gurgling noise the stomach makes when digesting

That gurgling noise the stomach makes when digesting

I ate too much over the holidays, then recorded it.

Dec 29, 202117:34
Ignoring a morning alarm clock

Ignoring a morning alarm clock

Mgdhd... zzhfmff... meefffplahh...

Dec 22, 202110:00
Chuckling while reading a funny book

Chuckling while reading a funny book

Ho ho ho, this person was hypnotized to think he was a chicken...

Dec 15, 202111:49
Singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall

Singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall

No one has actually sung this all the way through right? Well, wrong, here we go.

Dec 08, 202133:56
Playing charades with strangers

Playing charades with strangers

[Hand gestures]

Dec 01, 202125:13
Researching the best microwave to buy on the internet

Researching the best microwave to buy on the internet

Did you know that they are all basically the same thing? Wirecutter looked into it and it must be true because they are Wirecutter. I wonder what Consumer Reports has to say. Is this random reddit poster full of it or speaking the truth? Hrm...

Nov 24, 202113:43
Finding a lost wallet at the mall

Finding a lost wallet at the mall

Best to find the owner and return it to them, maybe they will give you reward money in appreciation.

Nov 17, 202113:54
Missing so many notes in Guitar Hero that the audience boos

Missing so many notes in Guitar Hero that the audience boos

The controller is broken and this game is garbage.

Nov 10, 202104:01
Voting for a 3rd party candidate

Voting for a 3rd party candidate

Vote.

Nov 03, 202119:53
Thinking

Thinking

It's like "the thinker", the statue, but in podcast form, and much quieter.

Oct 27, 202116:23
Squeezing orange juice by hand

Squeezing orange juice by hand

This would be a lot easier if I used a machine.

Oct 20, 202112:58
Unboxing a new iPhone

Unboxing a new iPhone

Don't get too excited, it's only a refurb.

Oct 13, 202113:16
Turning the pages of a book

Turning the pages of a book

Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip.

Oct 06, 202118:12
Riding an exercise bike a little too hard

Riding an exercise bike a little too hard

I know that I shouldn't have eaten that cheesecake but maybe I can squint and imagine that the little-c calories on the bike actually mean big-C Calories.

Sep 29, 202115:25
Putting on pants

Putting on pants

It took a while, these belt loops are really tricky, sorry

Sep 22, 202112:26
Reading a book aloud to a small child

Reading a book aloud to a small child

I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I-Am.

Sep 15, 202117:53
Shouting at the void

Shouting at the void

Who hasn't done this from time to time?

Sep 08, 202116:13
Rock concert

Rock concert

It's your favorite band, and you won tickets by being the 53rd caller!

Sep 01, 202115:54
Reticulating splines

Reticulating splines

I'm not even sure what this means, but someone wanted this, so here.

Aug 25, 202114:26
Sitting around a campfire

Sitting around a campfire

The logs were too wet and so it was hard to get them lit, but in the end, it was all worth it

Aug 18, 202109:59
Solving a 5x5 rubik's cube

Solving a 5x5 rubik's cube

I'm working on my speed cubing and a podcast at the same time

Aug 11, 202119:13
Computer fan noise under high load

Computer fan noise under high load

Are you playing a game? Or rendering a video?

Aug 04, 202113:12
Loud snoring

Loud snoring

Snoring usually keeps you up, but in homeopathic ASMR land, it will put you to sleep.

Jul 28, 202111:10
Waves

Waves

What kind of waves were recorded? Does it even matter?

Jul 21, 202119:04
Eating a pizza

Eating a pizza

What's a more spine-tingling sensation than eating a pizza? Eating a pizza, recording it, then diluting it to nothing.

Jul 14, 202112:42