How Have You Never?!?

We watched the series of bits wrapped in a thin shell of a plot called Elf (2003), then we talk Christmas music!

We discuss the charming but nauseating box office failure that is 1985's Santa Claus: The Movie. Also, a brief discussion of the baffling Love, Actually.

Enjoy this discussion a movie one of us can't possibly evaluate objectively! IT'S A PERFECT FILM.

I want you all to know that I know that Steven Spielberg directed Jurassic Park. I know that. Happy holidays.

We welcome ourselves back to the game with this classic Thanksgiving comedy! Join us as one of us visits this film for the first time, and the other revisits for this first time in a while. And an announcement about the future!

We watched a few of the must-watch modern Christmas television episodes. Are we brimming with Christmas cheer? Have we become Scrooges in our old age? Are we really just pretty tired? Find out!

Well we're gonna watch a few Christmas episodes of shows we don't know too well, and see what happens! Who knows??!!?!?!?!?!?

Mountains were climbed, dogsleds were ridden, halls were brawled...We talk about The Challenge now that Nick has actually paid some attention to it. Is it "good"? Does that "matter"? Does "anything" "matter"????

Nick doesn't understand the appeal of hot desperate people willing to  confine themselves on a tropical island surrounded by other hot  desperate people and compete in grueling physical challenges for a prize  equivalent to a minor blip on the MTV budget. Let's do it!

We are now friends with Friends....or are we ENEMIES? Frenemies? Best frenemies? Is anyone reading this? Hello?

Hello?

We were on a .... podcast?!?! This week, podcast standbys Tim and Kate are back to discuss 90's white person touchstone "Friends". Is it gonna be worth it? Do we know the names of the characters? Find out!!

Jess and Nick have *taken their time* and *deeply evaluated* four episodes of television for children that were created in the 1980's and 1990's. They come away primarily disillusioned and partially impressed. Find out WHY!

To kick off our Fall Season Television Extravaganza, we are revisiting our afternoon routines from when we were six and watching some of the Disney Block! It will probably be terrible! We can't wait. We're BAAAACK!

We watched the movie! We really did! Hear us talk about the visuals, without seeing them! Podcasting!

Sorry, dear audience - this episode does not have many Skeksis impressions. Next week, we PROMISE.

We boldly went to our couch and watched four episodes of a 30+ year old TV show! Does the show...engage???? (Yes it does.)

We've probably seen some of it, but never that deliberately! We're gonna go where no one has gone before, except for countless fans and casual viewers!

We still have not really seen "Carmen" because....well, listen. Listen to the show. Sorry, "Carmen" fans....

We have never seen an opera, and it is really really obvious if you listen to this extremely strange episode!

The gang is back together to discuss the weird, confused, flashy little conclusion to this whole "Star Wars" thing.

Jess never got around to seeing the final Skywalker Star Wars movie in the theater, so we'll take to Disney+ to finish it off. But first, let's talk about video game speed runs!

Beth generously prepared documents, but now the matrix is onto us. The robots have taken Jess, and it's only a matter of time before they.... did you hear that? Is this line tapped???

Our friend Beth joins us to talk a little bit about 1999's groundbreaking, special-effects-laden sci-fi action film The Matrix, and we mostly talk about Star Wars I think? Enjoy!

We welcome Tim and Kate back to discuss this bastion of weird dark fantasy films for children from the 80's. Sphinx Nips!

We saw The Goonies! It was fine! Sam and Thanos and the gang did their thing and found a pirate ship!

We break digital quarantine to allow our brains to think about some silly kids' movies for a few minutes. Join us!

What a week, what a movie, what a life. We are tired!

We talk about EVERY BEST PICTURE WINNER! Briefly. But it's mostly an excuse to get to watch "Parasite".

Part 2 of our Terminator mega-episode! We welcome back Tim and Kate to discuss how exactly liquid metal gets destroyed, anyway...

Friends Tim and Kate are back to discuss the Terminator movies, and we had such a great time that we had to split the episode up! Enjoy Part 1 in which we discuss The Terminator (1984).

Jess and Nick are out of touch with the entire Terminator franchise, so they enlisted friends Tim & Kate (from the future?) to help them rectify this terrible, terrible mistake. Hope you like inconsistent audio!!

Nick fights with a controller. Jess fights for one of her favorite games. Nick and Jess both fight illness! What a week!

Nick has never played the 24-year-old Mario game that revolutionized and defined so much modern video gaming. Jess pronounces "Mario" correctly with great effort.

We've been watching lots and lots of Hitchcock. Listen to the cracks start to appear in the seams!

Drama! Suspense! Humor! Dogs! We watched 1954's "Rear Window" close to our front window, isn't that funny??? Anyway Nick apologizes for not being able to think of any suspense-thriller movies and naming the recent "Mission:Impossible" movies as a sort-of-example, he is very embarrassed. Enjoy!

Is this 60-year-old movie still viscerally terrifying and full of suspense to these modern viewers? Find out as Nick asks Jess the tough questions, like "Is it good?" and "Did you like it?"

Jess hasn't seen any Hitchcock! Nick hasn't seen any since his innocent teenage years! We're hopefully not starting a war as we speak! Welcome back to the pod, and vote on which movies we should watch! 

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Jess is sick, Nick is not, and George Bailey is still alive! We discuss "It's a Wonderful Life", find out if Nick can experience it with new eyes, and what Jess' new eyes saw in this classic movie. And we only spend 20% of the time recapping the plot!

For this Christmas season, Jess is ready to watch Frank Capra's classic 1946 film about the impact one person can have on the people around them - "It's A Wonderful Life" - which is apparently also some sort of terribly depressing horror movie?? Find out a bit more about how Jess' mind works, and listen to the memories literally dissipate out of Nick's head as he insults the memory of multiple dead actors and his own childhood. Happy Holidays!

In anticipation of the last film in the Skywalker saga, we tracked down our friend Tamara who had never seen a lick of Star Wars! We talk about how that happened and what she has picked up through cutural osmosis, then watched the movie and got her immediate reaction.

We watched Cheers! We know about NORM! We know about Sam AND Diane! And most importantly, we sketch out "Be It Book" which will certainly be racing up the bestseller list once it's released...

Neither of us have seen Cheers, and we're clearly losing our minds because of it! Well, Nick is at least. Either that, or the winter is taking its toll waaaay too early...

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Jess grew up surrounded by piles and piles of Archie Comics, and Nick sniffed his upturned nose in disdain at them every time he checked out of the grocery store. This week, Jess and Nick discuss this peculiar series of comics, and outline Nick's plan to try to understand them! 

Welcome to our new podcast! We introduce ourselves and what we hope to discuss throughout our episodes.  

This week we discuss how we would both describe ourselves as "gamers", yet Jess has never played the iconic, and prolific series of Final Fantasy. This is Part 1 where we discuss our thoughts on the game, and what we know about it. Stay tuned for Part 2 after we play more of this multi-hour fantasy adventure!