* Coronavirus Update: After hearing from several of you, Noah and I talked extensively about how to best support you all during this situation. We've decided to make a temporary pay-what-you-can pricing on the First Year Married online course. Please share with your friends and let's support each other as much as we can. This doesn't have to be hard on your marriage--it could actually be amazing. www.FirstYearMarried.com/course gets you to the signup page.

Let's talk about surviving this whole COVID-19 situation as a newlywed. Schedules are out the window, your normal bucket-fillers like social time or work or the gym are non-options, and the stress may be running very high. So we're going to talk about what we can do to make the most of this situation.

First, of course, we gotta look at thoughts. How do we manage our minds so we don’t go insane or start to hate our husbands?

Second, (you won't be so surprised) we'll talk about hacks. Science and psychology based hacks are easy ways to improve your quality of life with a minimum of effort.

I'm also going to be talking a bit about getting ready for Pesach/Passover at the end, for those of you who celebrate.

So let's start by taking a look inside your head. How are you thinking about this whole thing? Coronavirus, being home probably, still newly married...

For a lot of you I'm talking to, the thought sounds something like this: “this is all very bad.” It's a pretty vague and generic thought, actually, but it's plenty strong enough to stir up some anxiety, overwhelm...

What if you were wrong about that?

What if this whole Coronavirus situation could actually be really good for you? For your new marriage?

Actually, this could be a fantastic opportunity for growth for you.

You are in the major leagues now. You've been listening to this podcast, reading books, working on your relationship... now's the time to put all that to work. Now's the time for some major self-awareness, some fantastic growth potential.

What are you feeling and where is it coming from? And how are you a little wrong? How is the opposite also true?

Take some time to get some awareness. If you're feeling off-kilter or overwhelmed or stressed, or you just got to the bottom of the container of Oreos and nobody helped you...

Great time to take a look inside your brain.

Ok so now for some hacks:

1. News restriction. When do you want to check? Take a day on. Take a day off. You could even ask your husband to keep you updated and just turn it all off. How many different places are you getting your news from? Twitter and WhatsApp and TV? Pick one. Narrow it down. The news is designed to suck you in. Put up some guardrails so you can maintain some mental space for yourself.

Technology/social media restriction. ebook or book? Go for the physical book if you can. We are much more on our screens than usual. What can you do that’s tech-free, even if for only a few minutes a day? If you can still go for a walk, can you leave your phone at home? Or just make some boundaries--leave the phone out of the bedroom and dining area, for instance.

More phone calls. There’s a hierarchy of meaningful communication, according to humanetech.com. Actual live phone/video calls are best, so try to make at least one a day. After that, voice messages are better than text, and using emojis actually improves the connection quotient of a text message. Group messaging, which isn’t really personal, gives the feeling of socializing but doesn’t pack the same punch. So call your bestie.

Read the full episode notes on the podcast page at www.FirstYearMarried.com

Ep 169 - The Me First Coaching Trap

How to Glow: The Jewish Woman's Marriage BoostBy Kayla LevinNov 10, 2022