How The West Was Fucked

Fremont opened the west for settlement...aka fuckery.

The ghost of John Jr. poops his candy ass in the night in the town of Wrangell, Alaska. Be afraid, very afraid...also annoyed.

McPoopy Pants Jr got iced by his own guys at the HBC Fort Stikine in Southeast Alaska. At least he didn't have to pay his outstanding candy debts.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#oregonhistory

#fortvancouver

#hbc

#wrangellalaska

#poopypants

If it wasn't for Doc Maynard Seattle would be Salt Lake City and no one wants that.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#seattlepioneers

#pioneersquare

#arthurdennysucks

#seattlehistory

#washingtonstatehistory

#maynardjameskeenan

Finally, here come the judge

Sam is still punching superior officers in the mouth, banging all the purdy senoritas and cutthroatin' all the rascal cutthroats.

A Mountain Jack Pike book come to life? Close.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#mexicanamericcanwar

#ghostliquor

#bloodmeridan

#judgepedophilenakedmolerat

Now with 90% less rape!

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

Was Slade a murdery badass or just a glorified truck driver? More so he was a Flying J manager. But he was an able one, till the Liquor took control.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#jackslade

#julesburg

#ponyexpress

#virginiacitymontana

We'll finally figure out who killed the locust? Was it Colonel Mustard in the study with a lead pipe? Tune in to find out.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest #rockymountainlocust

#grasshopperglacier

#massextinction

#locustdick

Tiburcio fights the Gorn Captain at Vasquez rocks! One night only!

Before the Mexican American war, Californy was Alta California. Some Californio folk didn't like their downgrade to second class citizens and foreigners in their own country. One dude was Vasquez, king of manic Hispanic banditos.

Is the Wildman still out in the wilds of Warshington? Did he buy Tony beer when he was in middle school?

Early 1900s Grays Harbor area was still pretty pioneery. John was not really a jerk, just had a lisp from the black measles so he felt more comfy in the woods, rather than Aberdeen. But then a botched abortion from incest kinda ruins everything.

Sorry, we probably should not get drunk and talk about abortions and incest.

How many people is Earl gonna kill? Can he survive the National Guard? Release the cumhounds!

A mountain man born too late? Or a jag-off poacher?

You decide! No, Earl was just a jag-off poacher, sorry.

We have proven bigfoot, jackalopes and ghosts are all real, check it out!

All new spoogetactular! With thrills, chills, stills and Buffalo Bills! Get yer spook on!

Don't take any life advice from someone who said "Hitler was right".

Laura and Rose keep on truckin'...all the way to fascism!

The Little House books were historical fiction, but based in a lot real life experiences. It was a tough life for sure. The Ingalls had to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, too bad the locusts ate their bootstraps.

More lying bastards...seems we'll never run out

One of Seattle's best known founders, Yesler was a straight up bastard who almost destroyed the city twice. Not by fire but by not paying his fair share. A real American hero! Recorded with the History Boiz podcast!

Kill that fucking Walker already!

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#mitchmcconnelstroke

#fillibuster

#nicaraguahistory

#bananarepublic

Well, the Republic of Baja Blast didn't work out, so let's invade Nicaragua! For Slavery!

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

Fillibustering in the 1800s meant "Hey let's take over this foreign country and rape it's resources, people and livestock". William Walker was one of the best around...at being horrible. And he looked like a 2nd grader on picture day.

The exciting conclusion to the Pearl Hart story!

The shit saga continues for Pearl Hart!

It's not enough to shoot it out at the Okiley-dokely corral, how about an inept robbery of the next town down the road?

And let's just shoot up the whole town as we do it.

And let's just hang a maybe OR maybe not hang an innocenty man!

That's Bisbee for ya!

Ranald teams up with Gamera and defeats Ichiro Suzuki! No, wait, that's my wet dream, Ranald teaches English to the Japanese (more or less) and opens the closed country to ideas such as blue jeans, baseball and KFC, but 100 years later....(Yes you are right Japan, please keep everyone else out)

It's a family divided by atrocities and genocide, enjoy.

Charles and William Bent opened the one and only trading post on the Sante Fe trail. They brought with them modern conveniences like disease and war. And William's children got to experiences those things first hand.

#howthewestwasfucked

#htwwf

#americanhistory

#oldwest

#wildwest

#coloradohistory

#sandcreekmassacre

#washitamassacre

#fettermanmassacre