I and Am

‘Music was my genuine way to show my gratitude, it came at a stage of my life when I mostly needed it. Remember I was that guy who at age twelve was doing yoga, so I had to have a place to show my anger and discomfort with the society’

These are  words by Jessethemaestro, a rising artist of  Ghanian origin, born in Palermo, Italy.  He’s  currently attracting great success in Italy and further afield due to his unique musical, lyrical and personal expression.

He is very vocal about sensitive topics such as racism, freedom and poverty in Italy and shares with us  his perspective on integration and immigration in Europe, particularly in Italy.

Jesse also leads the "L.I.T MOVEMENT". L.I.T Is an acronym which stands for "Libero In Tutto" (Free in anything). We can safely say that he embodies this philosophy.

I and Am got the opportunity  to glimpse into the world of Jesse as an artist and as a black man living in Italy.

Enjoy these offerings for your listening pleasure.

From I and Am, with love, Peace and blessings.

Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet put it thusly 'That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'. The quotation is a profound one that suggests that names themselves do not hold worth nor meaning, and they simply act as labels to distinguish one thing or person from another. In the case of these two starstruck lovers, I'd say yes, but from my own life experience I'd say yes and no. I once met a sailor who  said that when one buys a boat that has already been named, it is bad luck to change the name. He said the soul of the boat was in the name, so it was important to keep the name to preserve its soul.

Yes, names are considered sacred and meaningful in some cultures for various situations. From my cultural background, names are considered to be programmatic, they carry meaning pertaining to what it is that you were born to do. We also have different types of names apart from the first, middle and last names. We have clan names. The names of our fore-bearers who came before us and these names carry a certain power and energy which one can invoke as and when needed. This helps a person to move in the world not only as an individual, but as a collective- an environment. As young children we are taught how to praise sing  'ukuzithutha', which essentially means we are taught to proudly and lovingly  recite our lineage and trace our roots to as far back as one can remember. This knowledge of roots is considered crucial for a sense of identity.  When women marry, they may be called by a new first name and even take the husband's surname, but their clan name is never changed. This is to  keep connected to one's  ancestry at all times. 

In today's episode I was moved to speak a little on names and what they mean to me.

May we be supremely blessed as we embrace the truth of who we are, the truth of our being.

Peace and Blessings, always.

Camagu, Thokozani, Namaste, Jai Guru Dev.

Sometimes in life it may feel like we're being buried, while in actual fact we are being planted. Lately, I find myself contemplating a lot of things, and with the start of the new season, I couldn't help but think about endings and new beginnings. I love new beginnings and I'm a believer in beginner's luck.

The thing about new beginnings is that they are usually preceded by some form of dissolution, some kind of ending and letting go. The process of dissolution at times can be punctuated by pain and confusion, thus it can feel a tad overwhelming.

Currently, for most people (dare I say)  on a global scale, it may look like our collective 'blue skies' are gone, or that the sun isn't going to shine anymore. indeed the current health climate has caused a general air of malaise and we are all looking for some semblance of hope that things will change and improve even if we must accepted that they can never go back to 'normal'. As for me, I know that I'm certainly ready for a new normal. A new beginning.

In today's instalment of I and Am, we delve a little deeper into the nature of endings and new beginnings, keeping in mind that every problem is emblematic of something new wanting to emerge. Here's to more brighter days to come!

Peace and blessings

Camagwini, Thokozani, Namaste.

There was once a time when I approached the unknown or uncharted territory with a certain amount of trepidation, tension and defensiveness. This stemmed from a sense of 'self preservation' I imagine, which was rather tiresome and did not stand me in good stead. After noticing the toll this approach  took on me, I had to find another way, so I came across an approach which was the direct opposite of my original one. I learnt that going into and coming from a more relaxed mode was  far less exhausting and dare I say, more effective than allowing the  the fight or flight instinct  determine my responses. 

Now relaxing is not necessarily an easy thing for some of us. I have learnt and continue to still learn how to consciously remain in a state of relaxation in the face of difficulties. Relaxing as a spiritual practice did not sound at first like an effective way of being, until I really allowed myself to give it a chance. To this day, I have not regretted yielding to this piece of invaluable advice, to just relax.

In this episode of I and Am, we look a little more closely to the method behind the madness of Relaxation as a spiritual practice. May it meet you where you are. Peace and Blessings.

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Camagu!

Every once in a while the universe gives us an opportunity to meet people who leave an indelible mark in one's worldview. People who inspire you and spark or shift something in you.

A few years  ago, I had such an opportunity to meet and converse with an incredible soul in the body of Ima Iduwozee, Dancer, Writer,  Choreographer amongst many things.

Our conversation was so refreshing and inspiring I have decided to share that talk with you. There is always a chance that it will find resonance.

Wishing you a lovely week further.

Peace and richest blessings to you.

Some conversations are timeless and have an everlasting impact and effect. In this I and Am instalment , we take a moment to reflect on past interviews that inspired  and we revisit a conversation with M.anifest- Hip-Hop artist extraordinaire, entrepreneur and public speaker from Accra, Ghana, once named by The Guardian as the foremost rapper on the African continent. He shares his take on loyalty to self, representing,  immigration, the love of Hip-Hop and so much more. Join I and Am in this inspiring conversation from yesteryear, courtesy of Planet Earth Planet Rap (PEPR) our international Hip-Hop segment on Chuck D's And you don't stop radio show.

May there always be sources of inspiration for us all to draw from especially in these times we currently are facing.

Peace and Blessings, from Am, with love. 

It's been a minute since I and Am went on hiatus, and it is a great pleasure to finally return after a  rather long period of reflecting. I think we can all agree that the last year has been a year of a great many changes, some of them made out of our own volition while others were out of necessity. After all is said and done, we are  considerably fortunate to still be here living to tell the tale. It is with deep gratitude that I and Am shares new offerings in the form of 'Notes to Self' as well as still hosting the regular lively conversations that we love and appreciate. 

May we look forward to better and happier times as a collective, and may we experience healing in every area of our lives. May we successfully weather the storms that  this time brings and finally, may this year be filled with wonderful surprises for us all.

Peace and blessings.

It is said that words have a great power, a simple line can make a positive or negative difference to someone and can have the capacity to change a life. I've always been interested in words, be they written or spoken. I never quite paid attention to the words I used to speak to myself until I came across the concept of affirmations. Most of the time when we think of the word 'affirmation', we associate it with positivity and goodness, seldom do we consider  the power that the  negative statements we say to ourselves have. In today's instalment of Notes to Self on I and Am, I am reminded of my younger years and the power of words and belief. May we be mindful of the words we let in and live by. 

Peace and Blessings.

Maya Angelou put it ever so succinctly: 'Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you cannot practice any other virtues consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage. Incidentally  I've been reading the wonderful wizard of Oz with my youngest son, and the Lion who is seeking courage is told by the great  Oz  that courage is always inside one, so he must drink up some concoction and be filled with courage.  Of course we never truly know how much courage we have until we are faced with adversity. May we all find our inner courage in these changing and sometimes trying times.

Peace and Blessings.  

Transcendence, one of my most favourite words. I like the idea of rising above, for often times I've found myself in a particular circumstance where there was no alternative either than to rise above the situation. In a culture where avoidance is common, we can find ourselves dreading the prospects of having to 'work through our stuff' as well as going through things to get to beyond them. On my journey, I've found inspiration from those who've walked the path before me and I continue to do so even now. This perhaps is the reason I love quotes as much as I do, they serve as reminders of what is possible, as messages from beyond about how to proceed in the moment. I've come to find my inspirational quotes to be invaluable and in this instalment of I and Am- note to self, I share a few of my most treasured gems. Thankfully.

Peace and Blessings.

I recently heard an unusual question being asked in a commencement address at an institution of higher learning. 'Who told you that everything about you has to be good to be acceptable?'. This gave me pause as I've never quite heard anyone present this line of thought quite this way. Often times on my journey, I have come across people who are working very hard to fix something, to change or improve an aspect of themselves that they feel needs fixing and this also includes yours truly.

The above mentioned speaker went on to say that not everything about oneself has to have been good, that it's important to own every single part of your story and use it as grist for the mill, use it to connect with other people. I resonated with this idea as I've always thought that indeed there is a method to the madness, that things happen as they happen for a reason. This talk got me thinking about the wounds that we can carry within ourselves, and our efforts to try and get healing. In this I and Am offering, we scratch a little bit below the surface, to look more closely at our wounds. 

Peace and Blessings

As it is with life itself, one never knows what will come up during the moments of contemplating and making notes to self. Recently, I've found myself having to consider forgiveness and how it shows up and presents in my life experience. In my younger years, I had a wise friend who when approached by anyone with a personal dilemma, would always begin by saying : 'Forgive yourself first', and then deal with the situation at hand. I always marvelled at this first step to dealing with any problematic issue- the necessity to forgive oneself first. Some of us have great difficulty forgiving ourselves when we feel we 'zigged when we should have zagged'. It may even feel like the most noble thing is to be hard on oneself. This of-course is not so, not forgiving is never a good way forward, I've learned this along the way on my journey. In this I And AM, episode, I share my view on forgiveness and inter connectedness as well as letting go. May it find resonance.

Peace and Blessings.

In this latest I And Am offering, we are joined by Marina Kronkvist, Author of the book Hon som fick veta (She Know). The book was initially meant for children, but  ended up being a book written from a child's perspective. Marina will be sharing with us about her book and her journey from childhood to where she is now. As the creator and founder of Ritual Play-  a sensory based session inviting an interactive play dynamic, which was created as an alternative to the traditional giver-receiver dynamic used in touch-based sessions, like Tantra massage.  Marina gives us a glimpse into the world of Ritual Play and how love as play can help us show up for ourselves in ways that are empowering, meaningful and loving.

Marina is a ray of sunshine who graces us with her luminous presence in this episode of I and Am, may you  be transported with us.

Peace and Blessings.

Growing up in  a small village in South Africa, I was made aware of the importance of being connected. There was respect for the earth, nature, the ancestors, and Creator (Umdali). These were not seen as mutually exclusive in my family even though later on at the schools we went to, we would be discouraged from acknowledging  the ancestors, let alone  communing with them. The powers that be called it ancestral worship. Over the years I've come to recognise more clearly the importance of my ancestors and the role they play in my life.  In this episode, I and Am takes a glimpse into the unseen world of the ancestors and their power to intercede.  Makuded'ubumnyama kuvel'ukukhanya -May the darkness be dispelled and the light revealed. 

 Makube chosi kubehele sithi Camagu!!!

Peace and blessings.

On my journey over the years, I've come to notice that whenever the words 'what if?' are uttered, it usually is associated with something negative. The words almost denote a bad case scenario or carry some tinge of regret. A few years ago I came across these very same words, and lo and behold, they actually had a positive connotation. I even had a paradigm shift thanks to them. It was a poem by Samual Taylor Coleridge. It begins with the words, 'What if you slept? And what if in your sleep you dreamed... it continues in this vein and ends with 'Aah, what then?'

I've been inspired to rethink many a situation  because of this poem. Considering that we live in a world full of possibilities, what if we decided to change the way we looked at things, and the things we looked at began to change?  Aah, what then? This episode explores this possibility. 

Peace and Blessings.

We find ourselves living in very unpredictable times, there's no sense of certainty for anyone it seems. Doing life has become clearly an article of faith- to be sure- we've always lived by faith whether we knew it or not. Putting one's head to the pillow and trusting that the next morning will find us safe and well is an article of faith. The current health climate is just highlighting how much of life is out of our control. I've been dealing with the theme of letting go lately, it's been the main theme for many of us. In this episode of Note to self, we take a closer look at it.

Peace and Blessings.

As always the beginning of a new year causes us to do a lot of introspection, just as the end of an old one makes us want to take  inventory of how the year has gone. We look back in order to map our way forward.

This episode is a result of some introspection from this morning. It is said that life is lived forwards, but understood backwards, I felt a need to look a little deeper into the past in order to make sense of the now. May this bring light to those who resonate with it and may each glean any piece of information that might inspire your own introspection. Happy Journey!

Peace and Blessings.

Here's to the start of the new year, full of promise and hopefully full of some pleasant surprises. I and Am has some new offerings, of which Notes to Self is one of them. We hear me, your host, Amkelwa Viola Mbekeni-Kapanen, share a few of my thoughts regarding new beginnings, endings, and the idea of dying to be reborn. 

Peace and Richest Blessings.

Happy new year!

Well, no one saw this coming. Sometimes things don't work quite like you thought they would. I and Am is still on, but we have had to return a little bit back to the drawing board to reschedule everything due to social distancing and such. 

Bongeziwe Mabandla is a rarity. A gifted musician and an old soul. I knew this to be true as I witnessed him make a connection with all of us in an auditorium full of people by speaking the language of pure emotion. This was at the WOMEX festival in Tampere, Finland a few months ago. He was spellbinding and I was floored.

I first  came across Bongeziwe‘s work about six years ago when he had just released his first album, Umlilo. An album so melancholic that it spoke to me in a deep way. The songs ranged from lamentations about loving, to making a commentary on social  injustices and paying homage to his mother.

Through a series of events I ended up writing an interview piece on him and his musical journey. At that time I predicted (for lack of a better word) that Bongeziwe’s music would travel across borders both physically and non-physically  to reach new frontiers. Little did I know that one of the places it would travel  would be to our neck of the woods, Finland, and I would get the blessed and rare opportunity to witness and experience in person ,the potent energy I had then responded to from oceans away. I would finally  get to be at  his live performance and feel the full magnitude of the power of his words, sound, and sheer presence.

Nothing could have prepared me for his live performance that night. He was spellbinding!

Bongeziwe has come a long way since the days of his debut album Umlilo, he has survived a baptismal of fire so to speak.The first album turned out to be not what he had at all expected, his hopes of making it after the release were dashed and whatever ideas he may have had about showbiz and stardom were swiftly shattered.

‘I was signed to a big record label, and I thought I’m gonna release this record and be a superstar, so I was preparing myself for that. My reality, however, was that my life changed very little after the release of the album and I didn’t understand because I was with this big record label. It just didn’t really pick up but it did enough for me to carry on and to say 'I'm gonna write another album’.

As we sit in the hotel room catching up,I find myself wondering out loud about how he managed  to dust himself off and try again and to finally  arrive at this peak moment of his musical career where he is actually living the dream and doing a world tour? I asked him how the disappointment of his first album influenced the next work that he put out.

‘It influenced the next album in a very direct way. In fact, the whole Mangaliso album is about that disappointment and that’s why it’s so spiritual. I got so dark, so sad and so depressed that it came from that place of trying to deal with the disappointment’. It made me think about God and who God is’. I didn’t wanna use my cleverness anymore and devoted myself to a lot of prayer.’

In this conversation with Bongeziwe we go through a myriad of emotions as he talks about the darkest times and the highest peaks like  winning the SAMA awards. He also talks about  how ecstatic he was to receive that acclaimed award. He speaks of how living the dream feels like after having worked so hard at not giving up.This is a story of triumph and inspiration. To catch the rest of the talk you can listen to the conversation here.

Find Bongeziwe from the web:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/bongeziwemabandla/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/bongeziwe

FB: https://www.facebook.com/bongeziwe.mabandla

Find I And Am from the web:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/iandampodcast/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/iandampodcast/