I'd Rather Talk
By Mark Edward
-Authentic :: Real :: Unrehearsed :: One-Take-
Millenials | Gen Zs | 18 to 30 Somethings
I'd Rather TalkApr 11, 2021
EP15: LEADERSHIP: Becoming The Leader You Would Follow
In 21st Century America, finding a Leader who lives to Serve seems near impossible. Humility? Leading with Hope instead of Fear? Good Luck. Yet today, I am stoked that I am Co-hosting with such a leader, one of my Mentors for the past 20 years, Dr. Warren Leslie Heckman. Dr. Warren has modeled authentic Leadership for 65 years. At 86, he remains energetic, fun, humorous, and chill! In this episode, he vulnerably shares how he - as the patriarch of his growing family - continues to lead them through the tragic loss of one his daughters. He reveals - with humility - insightful nuggets about navigating the twists and turns of his life as a successful and respected leader. A leader I would follow.
EP14: LIFE BALANCE: Husband, Father, Career, and the Man in the Mirror.
Dating, getting married, and immediately getting deployed; The most important act he does as a husband;
His best advice for young husbands;
How being a new dad wasn’t really that much fun – “kinda lame;”
Coping when one child was much more difficult than the other; How he helped his wife during severe post-partum blues;
His best advice for young fathers;
Getting through a miscarriage
The challenges of being an introvert while being a Major in the military;
And, how He Overcame The Big Three – Self Loathing, Isolation, and Sexual Shame.
Cameron, who earned his Masters in Applied Communications, candidly addresses how growing up in the purity culture affected his outlook on sexual feelings and masturbation. We talk about pushing porn back, and using (porn free) masturbation in marriage as a tool to help strengthen the marriage, not hinder it. We even hit on ways to have sexy interactions with your spouse when you are apart, on business trips, or deployed.
Finally, he shares tips for taking care of yourself, and loving yourself: The Man in the Mirror. I know you will find what Cameron shares to be relevant, insightful and helpful. This dialogue will resonate with young husbands, fathers, and husbands and fathers to be.
EP13: SEXUALITY :: LGBTQ in an Evangelical World
EP12: Emotionally Distant Dads - Father Wounds Part 2
Was your father physically present but emotionally distant? If your answer is yes, you are not alone.
Besides sexuality, the 2nd most talked about subject in my Mentoring Circle is the relationship with Dad. Or lack there of. In 37 years of mentoring, the majority of the young men with whom I have journeyed, have expressed the desire for an improved relationship with dad; about 70%.
We all crave guidance, training, non judgmental acceptance, one on one time, and of course healthy affection from our fathers. If not from him, then from healthy father figures. In EP12 (Part 2 of Father Wounds), my Co-Host and long time friend, Net Gen, song writer, athlete, and native Southern Californian, Isaac Timothy Plentl, shares the frustration, pain and positive insights of having 2 dads – who were physically present – but emotionally distant. Yes. Dads. Not one, but two. I say long time friend because, while Isaac is 25, I've known him since he was 5, so that is a long time for him! Isaac gets real on topics like:
· how he craved to discover positive traits in his dads, that he wanted to emulate.
· who helped with the transfer of masculinity with emotionally distant dads.
· how painful the gaps in his life were and how multiple mentors filled the void.
· how he filled the gaps in unhealthy ways.
· how having distant dads impacted his sexuality and learning about sexuality – and - what to do when you find yourself in the hot zone in a sexual moment.
We hit difficult questions such as:
· Did having emotionally distant dads impact his porn challenges?
· Is it possible to save sex for marriage?
· How do you recover and approach life if your dad did not make you a priority?
· Is it still possible to invite an emotionally distant dad into your life or even ask him for help?
· What would you say to your dad if you could talk with him about his distance or absence from you?
Lastly, Isaac offers tips and sound wisdom on how to go forward with an emotionally distant dad. So good.
EP11: Growing Up Fatherless - Father Wounds Part 1
Maybe you’ve struggled with the pain of having an absent dad - either physically absent, or emotionally absent. Resist the urge to isolate because of your dad’s choices. You have not failed. This is not on you. You can find hope. Your man tank can be filled. You can be fully restored. You can become as strong as a young man whose dad actually was present and healthy. We all crave guidance, training, full acceptance, time, and of course healthy affection from our fathers. If not from him, then from a well balanced father figure. Today my Co-Host, a thirty-something millenial and native New Yorker, opens up about having a physically absent dad who abandoned him and his mother when he was age 9. Chris earned his Master's Degree in Psychology – and he may share some of what he has learned as he counsels children and teens in our local schools, facing similar dad wounds. But more so, he opens his man soul in a profoundly vulnerable yet witty and in-your-face way, by sharing both the extraordinary loss – and his healthy recovery journey of overcoming after... Growing up Fatherless.
EP10: SELFCARE :: Grooming Tips for Dudes
Professional, yet practical, Kyle has both passion and knowledge in the areas of grooming and style for men. Many young men struggle with self-care and personal grooming.
Often, Dads of young men did not offer or imitate healthy grooming tips – they are not always passed on to the next generation. Grooming behaviors “stick” better when they are shared from dad, a mentor, or another healthy positive male role model.
The importance of self care, hair care, skin care, smelling good, looking great – and taking down time - is paramount to a healthy self-image, emotional health, mental health, and even physical health.
I admire Kyle’s incredible knowledge during this episode. As a history lover, he is pretty matter of fact, but we even got him to crack a smile and laugh – look for that in the bloopers real at the end.
I learn something from Kyle every time we hang – his expertise shines in Episode 10!
EP9: Dating, Engagement, and Marriage :: How to Know She's The One
In this last episode of Season 1, Creative Songwriter, Musician, Jordan Daniel Mueller, gets up close and personal about dating, his recent engagement to Ruth, and their upcoming marriage. After he reminisces about how they met, we dive into embracing their differences, how other friendships and family relationships change, understanding women (uh...??), managing your time, and putting away your phone. He also candidly shares about navigating sexual desire, and -- with some vulnerable emotion -- shares how you can intentionally pursue your mate for 60+ years. And... Jordan reveals how he knew Ruth was "The One" **EP9 is longer than normal, as we are featuring 4 of Jordan's latest releases, exclusively from Spotify Premium. Enjoy!
EP8: SELF CARE :: Overcoming Anxiety
The word, "Overcoming" indicates that a process is "ongoing." In the Present. It's not a one day, one month, or one year conquering. Now, more than ever, young men in my Mentoring Circles are talking to me about Anxiety. Today, firefighter, musician, and young father, Tanner Blake William Pabst, opens up about his challenges with Anxiety. This native Kansan shares how the trauma of witnessing his brother being on fire in a freak accident, was one trigger to extreme anxiety in his life. Now, a firefighter himself, Tanner reveals how his world began to crumble in divorce, after periods of isolation, ghosting, depression, suicidal feelings, and alcohol abuse. While Tanner and Mark are not offering medical advice, they point out the importance of combining professional counseling, meds, medical science and the power of God. How long does the restoration process take? What is it like to become vulnerable to really face anxiety? Join us for this sobering and amazing testimony of ongoing victory.