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Impolite Company

Impolite Company

By Impolite Company, LLC

A podcast hosted by nationally touring comedian, Chris Cyr. Chris speaks about everything from politics to pop culture. Completely unfiltered and probably mostly wrong, each episode is a stream of consciousness ride from point A to point B with infinite digressions in between.

Chris's album, "Adult Child of Child Parents" is available through Helium Records, and can be streamed or purchased wherever you listen to comedy.
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The Best of Impolite Company: You Have To Turn The Box On

Impolite CompanyMar 19, 2019

00:00
51:28
Chris Fixes Student Loans (And Insults Half of America, Probably) - Impolite Company 06152023

Chris Fixes Student Loans (And Insults Half of America, Probably) - Impolite Company 06152023

Impolite Company host, Chris Cyr, meant to talk about multiple subjects, but got carried away talking about how he'd fix the student loan crisis, while also talking about the idiotic notion of fairness that too many people in this country cling to as the support for every argument they have about why they're better than everyone else. This episode is probably sponsored, by Adderall whether they want to or not.


Our theme music is by Lyfestile and Kenautis Smith. Check out their music on Amazon and wherever else to you listen to good stuff.


Find out more info about Chris Cyr, including links to his album, at http://www.christophercyr.com


Interesting Links (That agree and disagree with Chris):

Joe Manchin Hates You Politico - Joe Manchin's Stand Against Cancelling Student Debt https://www.politico.com/news/2021/02/04/manchin-student-debt-cancel-466497

Elizabeth Warren Likes You But NYT Gotta NYT, AMIRITE? The New York Times - Elizabeth Warren Wants to Cancel Student Debt. Critics Wonder If That's the Right Solution https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/05/business/elizabeth-warren-student-loans.html


This Bankruptcy Thing Is Bi Syracuse.com - Rep. John Katko Introduces Bipartisan Bill to Allow Student Loans To Be Discharged In Bankruptcy https://www.syracuse.com/politics/2021/03/rep-john-katko-introduces-bipartisan-bill-to-allow-student-loans-to-be-discharged-in-bankruptcy.html


Ol' "Schools Need Guns 'Cuz Bears" DeVos Thinks A Student Loan Is Forever Inside Higher Ed - DeVos Seeks to Restrict Loan Relief https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2018/12/19/devos-seeks-restrict-loan-relief


I'm Not The Only One Who Thinks Tax Exemption For All These Schools Is Sketch As Hell The Washington Post - Ron Wyden: Tax College Endowments to Help Students https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/10/20/ron-wyden-tax-college-endowments-help-students/

But Some People Just Love That Government Teat The Hill - GOP Rep: Don't Remove Nonprofit Status of Colleges https://thehill.com/homenews/house/320618-gop-rep-dont-remove-nonprofit-status-of-colleges


I'm Not Really A Bernie Fan Anymore, But It Feels Obligatory to Include Him The Wall Street Journal - Bernie Sanders: Abolish the Student-Loan Debt https://www.wsj.com/articles/bernie-sanders-abolish-the-student-loan-debt-11622755340


The Only Foxx You Should Care About Is Red Foxx U.S. News - Virginia Foxx: The Federal Student Loan Program Should Be Reformed, Not Eliminated https://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2017-02-27/virginia-foxx-the-federal-student-loan-program-should-be-reformed-not-eliminated


Llamar Alexander...Sigh...I Can't Even Think Of Anything Interesting To Say About Llamar Alexander, But Here's His Feelings (Empasis on the Word "Feelings") On Any Kind Of Qualifying Criteria U.S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor & Pensions - Prepared Remarks of Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) https://www.help.senate.gov/ranking/newsroom/press/alexander-continues-push-for-lower-college-costs

Jun 22, 202345:41
Actual Ketamine and Joe Biden - Impolite Company 05052023

Actual Ketamine and Joe Biden - Impolite Company 05052023

In this episode of Impolite Company, Chris reacts to completely unsurprising new from the political world this week about Joe Biden. Amazon currently has more than 500 books on SLOT MACHINE STRATEGY available for digital download. Too much information about how slot machines work. Americans don't actually value hard work, they value striking it rich. We've failed the experiment of legal pot and it's evident in how we smell. ACTUAL Ketamine, delivered directly to your home. Ketamine!



May 04, 202346:31
Twenty Four Hours - Impolite Company 04032023

Twenty Four Hours - Impolite Company 04032023

The Twenty Four hour culture is going extinct, and nowhere is that more evident than the drive through line of your local Taco Bell. The combination of COVID, the rise of the gig (scam) economy, and the Taco Bell's general terribleness as an employer, highlight the problems every late night business is facing. Chris offers a solution.

Apr 04, 202345:58
The Best of Impolite Company: War Pigs

The Best of Impolite Company: War Pigs

As spring springs, host Chris Cyr is surprised to have to be talking about war.  There probably won't be a massive nuclear launch.  The Sopranos make for good analogies for talking about global politics.  Chris proves he owns the CIA Fact Book for the current year. If there was an attack, who'd be left in America? The GOP would ruin the plot of the movie Red Dawn by throwing a parade for the Russian invaders. Josh Hawley is still terrible and out of touch.  Fat rich kids are more confident than you'd think. Do they still make mouse pads?  

Mar 07, 202248:41
The Best of Impolite Company: Bone and Cone
Jul 16, 202159:33
The Best of Impolite Company: Cinnamon Toast Shrimp and the Tyranny of Facebook Memories
Mar 24, 202139:36
The Best of Impolite Company: A Caveman Incel Sucking a Goat Boob
Mar 03, 202146:24
The Best of Impolite Company: You Don’t Smash A Lot Of Guitars In Adult Contemporary

The Best of Impolite Company: You Don’t Smash A Lot Of Guitars In Adult Contemporary

The pandemic continues, but that doesn't stop a significant part of the internet from being outraged by Phoebe Bridgers' appearance on SNL.  Impolite host, Chris Cyr, wonders what those people would do if they saw someone bite the head off of a bat?  The cowardice of a former president to not show up for a battle he doesn't even have the chance of losing.  Should we have had Super Bowl commercials? And, why do people only pay it forward in the line of Starbucks and not in more useful places?

Have fun with the latest edition of Impolite Company!

Our theme song was written and produced by Lyfestile and Kenautis Smith.  Check out their albums, "From Which I Came," and their newest release "Where I'm At"  on Spotify, Apple Music, or every other platform.  Support independent artists!



Feb 08, 202154:09
The Best of Impolite Company: Oops! That'd Be Authoritarianism!
Feb 03, 202145:22
The Best of Impolite Company: What Do People Even Talk About These Days
Jan 27, 202101:02:14
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - A Roman Wilderness of Pain
Nov 14, 202037:04
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Unwearied Still, Lover by Lover Paddle in the Cold
Oct 25, 202001:14:30
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - The Shrunk Earth Shall Shudder By
Oct 09, 202044:58
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Between the Conception and the Creation
Jun 27, 202040:18
The Best of Impolite Company: Days Of Pestilence - Mad Eyed From Stating The Obvious

The Best of Impolite Company: Days Of Pestilence - Mad Eyed From Stating The Obvious

Chris interviews Ellen Doyle, a traveling comic who's sheltering in Pennsylvania.  The two discuss everything from dating apps, to the best review Ellen's ever received from an audience member.  Also, CSI: Madea. Enjoy this new episode of Impolite Company. 



May 23, 202051:46
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - The Broken Jaw Of Our Lost Kingdoms

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - The Broken Jaw Of Our Lost Kingdoms

It's one of those ranty kind of nights where Chris watched too much CNN.  The target of his ire?  Armed protesters in Michigan and elsewhere, the militia guarding an angry barber, pickup driving rednecks who murdered a man, and a rampaging herd of 200 goats.

Enjoy this new episode of Impolite Company.  Or don't.  We're not cops.


May 15, 202031:57
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - I Hold With Those Who Favor Fire

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - I Hold With Those Who Favor Fire

A dead cat. Survivalists. Phone sex. Not all part of the same story. Today's quarantine episode of Impolite Company has something for everyone.
May 05, 202035:38
The Best of Impolite Company: Money Laundering and Blood Alley

The Best of Impolite Company: Money Laundering and Blood Alley

In this episode of Impolite Company from March 19, 2019, Chris gives step by step money laundering instructions for your pot dispensary, since banks are reluctant to open accounts for your new business.  The real purpose of the puzzles boxes from Hellraiser is way dirtier than you thought.  Patchouli should go away.  And what's up with Blood Alley? March of 2019


Apr 25, 202053:13
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Coffins Stood Round Like Open Presses

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Coffins Stood Round Like Open Presses

From the stasis of quarantine, Chris Cyr gives you the top 10 ways you can prove yourself useful to future aliens who happen to thaw you out in hopes of learning something about the human race.  Also, buy a shop vac.  

It's Impolite Company time!


Apr 17, 202041:00
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Terror In A Handful Of Dust

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Terror In A Handful Of Dust

#QuarantineLife continues as Chris mourns the loss of a staple of our existence, says good riddance to a terrible food vending method, and lets you know that it's perfectly okay to not learn a new skill right now.

Apr 06, 202034:05
The Best of Impolite Company: The McDonald's Lady

The Best of Impolite Company: The McDonald's Lady

Enjoy this classic Impolite episode where Chris wonders why the woman at McDonald's quit mid-order.  Listeners give some of their worst work experiences.


Apr 05, 202052:15
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Slouching Towards Bethlehem

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Slouching Towards Bethlehem

We're homing in on the right settings for this home podcasting thing during quarantine.  Hopefully the days of studio casting will be upon us before too long.

Chris talks about working from home, some weird conspiracy, and then tells another of his favorite "longest jokes(?) ever!"

Mar 25, 202028:41
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Look Upon My Works and Despair

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Look Upon My Works and Despair

Kenny Rogers is dead.  That's not cool.  Chris recalls some inappropriate childhood moments, along with some sweet moments involving "The Gambler."  Who bought all of the Nintendo Switches?  St. Louis locks down at 6:00 p.m. on Monday 3/23/2020.

Impolite Company is Quarantined!

Mar 23, 202034:43
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Ring Around The Rosies

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence - Ring Around The Rosies

The semi-quarantine continues as Chris talks about praying to both Prince and Les Paul, why old people love him, and licking people with face masks?  We don't know.  He just talks and weird stuff comes out.  If you know, then you know.

Mar 20, 202027:30
The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence

The Best of Impolite Company: Days of Pestilence

The day the world shut down, Chris Cyr returns to the Impolite Company microphone, recording from the dining room table as he, and the rest of America, have been told to stay indoors and self isolate in order to not bring about an apocalypse.  The sound you hear in the background might be the refrigerator, or it might be the hooves of the fourth horseman running down Route 66.

Also, a discussion of ninja smoke bombs.

Mar 19, 202029:32
The Best of Impolite Company: New Year's Summer Day

The Best of Impolite Company: New Year's Summer Day

Chris makes the case for moving New Year's Day to the summer. He rants about a lot of stuff. The late night crowd at his show this weekend hated him, which was awesome. One more call for a revolution.
Jun 19, 201953:47
The Best of Impolite Company: L'il Wu Tang Clan

The Best of Impolite Company: L'il Wu Tang Clan

Chris gives away three million dollar ideas on today's episode. The best of which is a new children's series featuring the remaining members of the Wu Tang Clan. He recounts his memorial day weekend, and complains about a car that needs to be retired.



Welcome to Impolite Company.
May 29, 201952:27
The Best of Impolite Company: Hugh Jackman's Claws Are Real

The Best of Impolite Company: Hugh Jackman's Claws Are Real

Chris discusses Game of Thrones, insomnia, conspiracies, LSD, and good Christian values.



Impolite Company is here to remind you, #NoGodsNoMasters
May 15, 201955:37
The Best of Impolite Company: Your Mom's Really Into Sepultura

The Best of Impolite Company: Your Mom's Really Into Sepultura

Back from his trip to New York, Chris catches up with the audience, discusses NYC, Game of Thrones, Avengers, Illinois's recreational marijuana effort, and wants to know "Are we recording?"



Welcome to Impolite Company!
May 08, 201944:15
The Best of Impolite Company: No One Is Ready

The Best of Impolite Company: No One Is Ready

Chris wonders if he's ready to start the show. He can't work the coffeemaker in the studio. He delivers a special pep talk for you about accomplishing your dreams. RIP Notre Dame cathedral.

It's #NoGodsNoMastersNoChurches on today's Impolite Company!
Apr 16, 201952:29
The Best of Impolite Company: Bird Wars

The Best of Impolite Company: Bird Wars

Chris is under siege from a pigeon who's nesting on his front porch. Will he survive this aggression? Who knows? Exploding soup cans, weird house selling superstitions, and other topics all get blown off so he can spend more time on the bird.

Listen to Impolite Company!
Apr 09, 201952:06
The Best of Impolite Company: Singing in the Reign of Blood

The Best of Impolite Company: Singing in the Reign of Blood

Chris sings most of today's episode. We don't mean that he sings on today's show, we mean he SINGS THE DAMN SHOW. He assures us there were no drugs involved. Most of the show involves, Joe Biden, and how "Biden: The Musical" is not going to be made. He didn't mean for that to happen, but it did. We also briefly discussed new superhero trailers, but somehow made it back to Biden.

The hour went by really fast. That's Impolite Company for you.
Apr 04, 201954:45
The Best of Impolite Company: The Bustelo Missile Crisis

The Best of Impolite Company: The Bustelo Missile Crisis

Do you have a "Go Bag?" What is the weird thing people are going to find when you die, a coffee can full of your fingernail clippings? R.I.P. coffee cans, in this age of plastic. Donald trump has an army of meth heads to protect him if he loses the next election. Sam Elliot.



It's time for Impolite Company!
Mar 28, 201955:25
The Best of Impolite Company: So I Bought A Hand Pie

The Best of Impolite Company: So I Bought A Hand Pie

It's an abbreviated show today since Chris overslept. But, it's a perfect time to let you know about the recent change at Chris's local doughnut shop. The Mueller report is completed, and even though no one's read it, everyone's sure it supports their argument. Chris worries that the secret service will misinterpret his intentions.
Mar 26, 201936:51
The Best of Impolite Company: Boycott Fish Fries

The Best of Impolite Company: Boycott Fish Fries

Chris Cyr wonders why liberals are starting to eat at ChicFillA again. For that matter, why are they spending money on fish fries at churches across the country? Also, a completely made up survey about the end of the world.
Mar 21, 201957:42
The Best of Impolite Company: You Have To Turn The Box On

The Best of Impolite Company: You Have To Turn The Box On

Did you know that public transportation runs late as part of an organized conspiracy to increase the rate of fatal pneumonia in poor people? We did.

Chris Cyr informs you on today's Impolite Company!
Mar 19, 201951:28
The Best of Impolite Company: Tweeting From the End of the World

The Best of Impolite Company: Tweeting From the End of the World

Chris describes his experience with a sensory deprivation tank, wonders why his bank doesn't accept cash half the time, Panda Express people are loud, and how did we survive Facebook being down?

Get on Twitter and Get Ready for Today's Impolite Company!
Mar 15, 201954:48
The Best of Impolite Company: John Wayne and Dick Pics

The Best of Impolite Company: John Wayne and Dick Pics

All we're saying is that if you're a dude and your buddy says "Hey, check this out!" you let him send you a pic. Also, who, other than everyone, John Wayne was a racist homophobe? Toilet bowls full of foam. Snowstorms that may or may not come. And of course, a rant about social media.

It's a full menu from Impolite Company!
Feb 20, 201950:24
The Best of Impolite Company: Valentine's Day Massacre

The Best of Impolite Company: Valentine's Day Massacre

Happy Valentine's Day from Impolite Company.
Feb 15, 201944:21
The Best of Impolite Company: Process Improvement for Cannibals

The Best of Impolite Company: Process Improvement for Cannibals

Yeah, we don't even know where to begin. A recent gig in rural Illinois has Chris concerned about vampires and cannibals. He has tips for both.



It's a weird episode of Impolite Company!
Feb 12, 201940:11
The Best of Impolite Company: I Was Basically Oliver Twist

The Best of Impolite Company: I Was Basically Oliver Twist

Chris is certain he's a city kid through and through. He recounts a time his car was broken into and reveals that he's much more efficient at breaking into cars, but doesn't explain how he knows that. Also, doughnuts.

It's a deep dive on today's Impolite Company.
Feb 09, 201947:58
The Best of Impolite Company: Secrets, Lies, and Oprah

The Best of Impolite Company: Secrets, Lies, and Oprah

We're not sure if Chris is ranting about Donald Trump and keeps getting distracted by Liam Neeson, or if he's ranting about Liam Neeson and keeps getting distracted by Donald Trump. But, we can all agree that it'd have been a different week if Liam had made his confession to Oprah, instead of to the Independent.

Strap one on for today's Impolite Company!
Feb 06, 201945:38
The Best of Impolite Company: Saturday Mornings Were Better In The 80s

The Best of Impolite Company: Saturday Mornings Were Better In The 80s

It's been a year! Chris discusses personal and creative growth, and tells a few jokes he wrote in his first year of comedy. The new DCU shows are fun. Also, if you purposefully use the wrong pronoun to address a person, you're an a-hole. That's a pretty non-controversial opinion he pretends is a hot take. Don't be an a-hole.

It's Impolite Company!
Feb 01, 201945:11
The Best of Impolite Company: The Art of the Deal

The Best of Impolite Company: The Art of the Deal

The government shut down is over and Chris wonders if this is the type of negotiating we can expect from the POTUS when he protects US interests with North Korea. Also, don't use duct tape for sex play, addresses the "why are you politicial?" question, and DON'T DUMP OUT COFFEE!!! For Christ's sake people, it's coffee.
Jan 28, 201946:03
The Best of Impolite Company: Cheeseburger in Paradise

The Best of Impolite Company: Cheeseburger in Paradise

A veritable buffet of American exceptionalism was bestowed upon the Clemson Tigers yesterday.  Let's talk about it.  Also, it snowed in St. Louis.  Need lawn furniture?


Jan 15, 201948:49
The Best of Impolite Company: The Plural of Moose is Moose

The Best of Impolite Company: The Plural of Moose is Moose

Chris lists a number of things you could have done last night instead of watching Donald Trump's speech. It's a long list. The plural of "moose" is "moose." Right? The Chrysler Building is for sale.
Jan 09, 201949:48
The Best of Impolite Company: Till the Wheels Fall Off

The Best of Impolite Company: Till the Wheels Fall Off

Chris spends a lot of time talking about flat tires, which somehow still brings up the subjects of donuts. Do people pick up escorts at the front door? Does the government shutdown mean we can act crazy on mass transit now? And it's interesting that Trump didn't try making his little speech during the national championship game last night.

Also, he's not even allowed to commit murder. So, relax.
Jan 08, 201946:02
The Best of Impolite Company: Space Birthdays Are Going To Be Sad

The Best of Impolite Company: Space Birthdays Are Going To Be Sad

Chris discusses the news that the Chinese government launched a lunar rover on the far side of the Earth's moon. Completely ignoring recent achievements by the U.S. space program, Chris angrily screams into the abyss about why we don't have an Auntie Anne's Pretzels at Lagrange 5 to serve colonists on their way to new worlds.
Jan 03, 201948:38
The Best of Impolite Company: June 21 is the New January 1

The Best of Impolite Company: June 21 is the New January 1

It's a new year, but what does that really mean? How we measure time is a construct created by men who wanted a way to chart their moment by moment progress towards their graves. Also, don't hijack trains.

We swear it all ties together, maybe. Enjoy today's Impolite Company!
Jan 02, 201946:31
The Best of Impolite Company: I Don't Know It's Christmas

The Best of Impolite Company: I Don't Know It's Christmas

Chris bemoans the fact that it doesn't feel like Christmas, gives advice to long haul drivers tempted to buy imitation amphetamines, makes a suggestion about international nuclear proliferation that may be illegal, and more!
Dec 18, 201847:33