I Mustache You Something

This conversation with the brilliant Ray Melika is the sister video to the ones with Dr. Rafik Attia and Kofta, so if you haven't watched you should try to watch the three of them around the same time. Existential freedom is a right that can only be claimed by those who see it clearly and have the boldness to claim it. Ray does not just talk the talk, but he walks the walk of believing that God is there in our suffering, not because God ordains it but because God suffers with us.

What can I say? I asked him to behave himself. He didn't behave himself. I knew this was going to happen because this is what always happens when I talk to him. Uncle Rafik is almost 80 years old, and he says he has been this way since he was 15. If he has made it this far, I suppose there must be some method to his madness. He shares with us a very strong opinion that we can give people options, but we should always give them freedom to choose because you cannot force anyone to do anything. If I can have 5% of the courage this man exudes, I think I will be just fine.

The man, the myth, the legend - KOFTA - joins me in this episode to challenge the limits of what we learned from Heba Fanous that all questions are valid and worth asking. This was a challenging episode to record, and I imagine will be even more challenging to watch. We are all doing our best to make sense of what we see in the world, and it is always a work in progress. As Kofta says in this episode, the goal is not necessarily to get the "right" answer or even an answer that we "like," but to continue asking difficult questions that may or may not even have an answer.

If you're wondering why I'm yelling at Anthony Zaki throughout this whole video, I would like you to know this is probably the nicest I have ever been to him. I'm not proud of that. I love him with a very tough, abrasive, unproductive, brotherly love. It's probably not healthy for either of us, but it seems to work, at least for now. Anyway - I hope you enjoy watching this episode of "I mustache you something" as much as we enjoyed recording it.

On this episode I am challenged as always by the high standards for honesty and integrity of my childhood friend Mira Riad. She is the founder and executive director of the Littlest Lamb, and they are responsible for more than 50 children that live at Bird Rock, which is an orphanage in the north eastern part of the Cairo metro area. As a fundamental believer in the autonomy and agency of individuals, she shares with us the struggles of being in a position where she sometimes feels the weight of responsibility of making decisions for the children at Bird Rock. She also shares with us her wisdom about how she tries to do that as best as she can, at least in part by welcoming members of her team to hold her accountable to her own high standards.

Of all the people I know in our community, there are only a handful that I would concede are more likely than I am to say something that is "a little too honest." I am grateful to be the very slightly saner person when talking to the one and only Ralph Toss ... yes, he told me I had to call him that. No, I am not joking. If you manage to watch to this whole video, I hope you enjoy the many face-palming surprises that come up in a conversation with Ralph.

In this episode I have the pleasure of talking with and being interrupted by one of my favorite people in the whole world. Jesse Neuman and I met on the bus stop on my first day of 7th grade, when I had just moved to Jericho, NY after previously bouncing from Egypt to Puerto Rico to Queens. There are times in your life where you look back and wonder what you would have done without certain people. What a joy this was to reminisce with Jesse and delve a little deeper on what makes him such a great friend. Also check out his website and see how much cooler he is than me ... and let's be honest, he's probably cooler than you too: https://www.musicworksnyc.org/

You probably already know the CopticFamous, Paul Kist, producer and songwriter for Trinity! If not, you are missing out and you should check out their music here: https://preview.tinyurl.com/yxgyvvva. Paul and I are constantly challenging each other and making life difficult for each other, but that's what brothers do. In this episode, we discuss how hard it is sometimes to grow up in a community with such strong sociocultural norms that we feel like we are just handed a "color by number life" that we are just expected to fill in and turn in like it's homework. While our community and our mentors help us to find and define our identity, we do not need anyone's permission to paint on our blank canvas of life to create a unique work of art.

My friend and fellow learner Father Daniel Habib joins me in this episode that delves deep into challenging issues of Coptic identity. We talk about how important it is for the clergy and church leadership to understand what is and what is not their role in guiding our community to thrive in the diaspora. He gives us all something to think about in how we define our roles and responsibilities as members of an ever-ancient, and yet ever-adapting faith community.

My new friend Jonathan joins me for this episode to share his perspective on Coptic history, and the important role that we all play in telling our own story. Check out his podcast at https://historyofthecopts.com and also visit the website of our partners at Coptic Voice  (http://copticvoiceus.com/), an organization that seeks to help the diaspora construct its identity and use its resources and human capital as a collective force for good.

This is the brief intro to a series of conversations published in the month of Movember 2020 with several goals in mind. The central goal is that through these conversations we can more encourage dialogue that helps each of us to clarify what we value and how we can strengthen our relationships with each other and our communities. You are invited to check out any or all of these other awesome organizations that you can donate to or simply tell your friends about to raise awareness about the awesome things your Coptic Community is doing: 

1) The NY/NE Diocese Charity, Koinonia Ventures (www.koinonia-ventures.org) 

2) Coptic Orphans (www.copticorphans.org) 

3) The Littlest Lamb (www.littlestlamb.org) 

4) Coptic Voice (www.copticvoiceus.com) 

5) The Agape Project (www.agape-project.org)  

Let me know if there are any other organizations you think people need to know about, or interesting people that I need to meet and 'stache them something!