In Hines Sight
By Ryan Hines
In Hines SightNov 09, 2021
The After: Finding My Voice
Thanks listeners/viewers for hanging out with me for this one – experimenting with recording on QuickTime to have both an audio and video version. With this episode…
- Why did Ryan bust his knee on a treadmill? Hint: It came in like a wrecking ball.
- 5-mile hike to a peak in Big Bend. No big deal, start two hours before sunset, right? Wrong.
- WTF, that was a breakup too? Yeah, a breakup can also be the death of a relationship (either real or perceived). Time to mourn/process is required.
From my birthday trip in Mexico when a fellow traveler suspected something was up with my “throat chakra,” (and then discussed with my friend Brie) – these few months have been about “Finding My Voice” again: who I am on my own and finding clarity and focus.
This podcast gives an update on that journey through the context of daily life in Dallas and a solo road trip to Marfa, Texas.
This playlist is my perfect mix to where I am. Thanks for listening!
Intro & Outro Music:
https://www.purple-planet.com
Ryan Emerged: 32
From broken moments to shared experiences, ends and beginnings of relationships, my first-ever international solo trip, a closing of a lawsuit, waiting on a grad school application…… this is 32.
After being on hiatus with the podcast, I’m coming back “Ryan Emerged.” And I’m taking a lesson from my original Cali Soundtrack with a mixed tape approach.
I invite you to listen to this podcast first, then check out the accompanying playlist. All the songs were chosen very intentionally to speak to this moment in my life, and to bring you into my experience:
Songs listed below if you need to look them up on another platform. And feel free to follow me on Apple Music, and we can share in the creation of the next soundtrack/playlist.
And, as a good friend recently told me as I navigate tough times, “remember who’s steering the ship.” Be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to take the time for all the feels, and let’s 👏🏼 keep 👏🏼moving! 👏🏼
- Wonder - Shawn Mendes
- Quarantini - Kyan Palmer
- Blinding Lights (Remix) - The Weeknd & Rosalía
- I Wanna Help Your Mind - Goth Babe
- Limbo - Royal Blood
- WITHOUT YOU (Miley Cyrus Remix) - The Kid LAROI & Miley Cyrus
- Broken - lovelytheband
- Best of Me - Dreamer Boy
- Warrior (feat. SG Lewis) - Aluna
- Keep Moving - Jungle
- Let Me Down Easy - Paolo Nutini
- The Way I Loved You (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift
- Never Be Alone - Shawn Mendes
- Letter To A Girl - Brynn Elliott
- Fireworks (feat. Moss Kena & The Knocks) - Purple Disco Machine
Intro & Outro Music:
https://www.purple-planet.com
Dust yourself off and try again: My GMAT battle getting real
There are four sandwiches total, and three of them were evenly divided among n students, but four students didn't want any of the fourth sandwich. But you know Carol. She came along and wanted a bit from all four. So what fraction did Carol eat of a whole sandwich?
IDK, Carol -- just keep livin' your best carb life and let me do ANYTHING else.
That's how I felt Sunday night. I'm at the intersection of the hittin-the-gas and shit's-gettin-real stage of this GMAT as part of my plan for applying to grad school for an MBA. The countdown timer is ticking louder than ever, and it's game on.
In this short 20-minute episode, I'll take you through my raw emotions, from the beginning of the ups and downs with the GMAT, a little bit why I'm doing this, and ultimately a few takeaways. Because what good is this pod if you can't get something useful out of it?
Whether you're studying for your GMAT, preparing to run your first 5K, or buying your first home, here are three steps that are working for me and they might work for you, too:
- Write that dream down. Or type it. Or vision-board it. Whatever way you do it, see its existence as something that can become a reality. No idea is too crazy.
- Make a plan and go for it. Don’t spend too long planning. Give yourself an outline, some general guidelines, just enough structure to get things rolling.
- Get back up when you get knocked down.
And if you can guess the artist of the song I sing at the end, DM me and I'll get you some banana bread muffins ;)
Going Solo: Both/And Thinking
I'm going solo for this episode. Tim to chat about Both/And thinking - a mindset I've been developing these last few weeks in particular. I'm learning that "wholeness is about embracing, not denying, all of our feelings," as Michelle L Buck Ph.D. wrote; multiple feelings can exist at the same time, even if they feel incongruous or contradictory.
I dare you to challenge yourself how you can shift your mindset to think Both/And in your every day experience. Come from a place of abundance, not limits.
Resources:
Check out "The Power of 'Both-And' Thinking" in Psychology Today.
Music:
https://www.purple-planet.com
Byeee 2020: Goal-Setting for a New Year
We make fun of the word unprecedented and how overused it's felt as a way to describe 2020. But for real, 2020 had its challenges for everyone.
With my friend Thomas Renner -- a yoga instructor and life coach based in Dallas -- we take a moment to reflect on 2020, share gratitude for positive reflections we gained from this past year, and discuss setting and maintaining resolutions for 2021.
Maybe you're one of the estimated 188.9 million adult Americans (74.02% of the population) who said they’re determined to learn something new in 2021.
Or maybe, like Thomas, you think New Year's resolutions are shit; resolutions can be started at any moment. The important thing is that you do them for you, and you remember to celebrate the wins along the way.
Tips for making (and keeping resolutions or goals):
- Be specific.
- Generate your why behind it.
- Do you really want it?
- Generate a reward for achievement depending on your goal.
Have a listen, find something you're grateful for each day, and be kind to one another as we're all looking for hope, healing, and reconciliation with the New Year. Much love.
Find Thomas On:
- Instagram at @thomasrennerofficial
- Email: thomasrennerofficial@gmail.com
A Pandemic During a Pandemic: HIV & AIDS
Let’s talk about our status. And I’m not talking single, taken, or it’s complicated. I’m talking about HIV status. Because when we arm ourselves with information and know more about our personal health, we can make fact-based decisions for ourselves and those we interact with.
In hindsight, Ryan didn’t know a thing about HIV and AIDS, until he found the community of AIDS/LifeCycle. In this episode, you’ll hear from AIDS/LifeCycle Ride Director Tracy Evans and Senior Outreach Coordinator Albert Ontiveros, representing both the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles LGBT Center as we:
- Define HIV and identify ways in which the Los Angeles LGBT Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation are on the frontlines fighting this pandemic
- Discuss the current state of HIV and AIDS in the U.S.
- Examine the stigma surrounding the virus
- Grasp the reality of how people of color are disproportionately impacted by HIV and AIDS and how these agencies are advocating for health justice
- Understand the importance of culturally competent care
Then, learn more about TogetheRide – an evolution of AIDS/LifeCycle – as a way for everyone, including the entire family, to get involved in activism for the fight against HIV and AIDS.
Know your status, get tested, make healthy informed decisions – and join me on TogetheRide. Or donate: www.tofighthiv.org/goto/ryanmhines.
Some mind-blowing stats:
- About 1.2 million people in the U.S. are living with HIV.
- Almost 1 in 7 of those who contract HIV are not aware of their status.
- Black gay and bi men are disproportionately affected, accounting for 25% of new diagnoses.
- Black communities comprise of only 13% of the total U.S. population, yet accounted for an estimated 43% of new HIV infections nationally in 2017. They also accounted for 42% of everyone living with HIV in the U.S.
This Better Perform Well: Social Media & Mental Health
A fake laugh to get the perfect candid smile? Yeah, of course. How else do you think I got the photo for this podcast album art?
From the rise of social media and how it's permeated every aspect of our lives, Ryan invites Liz Navarro onto the pod to discuss how we consume social media and some of the emotions and psychology behind what we post.
Liz is the founder of Liz Navarro + Co., helping clients and students communicate effectively. She’s a professor of public speaking at Southern Methodist University, a copywriter, and a strategist helping professionals activate new opportunities.
So how does what we do for our professional lives sync up with our personal lives on social media? We focus in on three main themes:
- Comparisons
- Assumptions
- Pressure to Perform Positively
Don't be scared. It's definitely not all bad. Like anything, there are pros and cons. Listen and find out some ways Liz and I find the joys in social media while keeping a check on its impact on our mental health.
In episode album art: Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash.
U.S. Elections 2020: Time for Healing
Ryan welcomes back Eddie Kring from Save.LGBT, and is also joined by Save.LGBT's Executive Director Orlando Gonzales. It felt like a long week leading up to the time of this recording, and Biden had not yet been declared winner of the 2020 U.S. Presidential elections.
However, the conversation we focus on is timeless. We discuss healing and how we as a nation can move forward with healthy, constructive conversation. And we dive into some of what got us here, including the spread of disinformation, systemic racism, and culture wars.
The healing isn't about the last four years. "It's about the last four hundred years," said Gonzales.
Visit www.Save.LGBT to learn more about this organization's work with political advocacy and community outreach.
- Follow Save LGBT on Intsa: @savelgbt
Comment and let me know where you are on your journey, and let's celebrate a time of renewed unity and hope for the future.
More than Politics: Choosing to Show Up
In this followup to my last episode - which was a very short seven minutes - I dive deeper on the conversation about politics. With my friend and special guest Eddie Martí Kring joining, we talk about how it's much more than politics; it's about choosing to show up for love, and choosing to protect our human rights.
Eddie and I met a few years ago at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Time to Thrive conference. I was so glad to catch up with him today, to hear about the impactful work he's doing in Miami. We both grew up in Florida, but I was a little farther north in Orlando. We realized that I was in middle school when civics duty education was cut from curriculum. But regardless of wherever we are on our journeys and our individual backgrounds with civic duty, it comes down to making a conscious decision to show up for what's right.
Whether you live in Florida or somewhere else, you can get involved. Go to www.Save.LGBT to learn more about this organization's work -- including Eddie's work -- with political advocacy and community outreach.
- Follow Eddie on Insta: @eddie_marti_kring | Email: Edward@SAVE.lgbt
- Follow Save LGBT on Intsa: @savelgbt
- Eddie's Recommended Resources to Stay Woke:
Comment and let me know where you are on your journey, and please GO VOTE!
CORRECTION NOTE: At timing 3:50 in the episode... Eddie accidentally said “Republicans vote for Democrats” when referring to Florida’s closed primary system. Correction: “Democrats vote for Democrats and Republicans vote for Republicans.”
More than Politics: Vote
Unlike the past two episodes, I take this one solo. Growing up, I hadn't been involved in politics. Give this super short episode a listen to hear what I would now tell my 18-year-old self (in hindsight, pun intended), and three actions I urge everyone to take right now.
And most importantly, vote! Go to www.vote.gov.
Album art: Photo by Jennifer Griffin on Unsplash
Identity Series: Christianity + Queerness
Is Jesus the only path for a queer person to get to Heaven? Do churches fall on a spectrum kind of like the spectrum of sexual orientation? How can someone who's been wounded by the church find healing?
These are some the topics brought up when Ryan interviews Dr. Cindy Ryan in this episode of the Identity Series.
Dr. Cindy Ryan, who has a passion for connecting people to God through writing, speaking and ministry, graduated from Texas A&M with a Bachelors of Psychology degree. She has a Masters of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry degrees from Brite Divinity School at Texas Christian University. She was ordained in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in 1987.
She explains, "We all represent God, and God needs everyone of our voices. Or there's just such a partial picture." So whether you identify as a queer person or want to be an ally through the bond of Christianity and spirituality, check out this episode as we explore some learnings for connecting queerness and Christianity.
Episode Cover Art: Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash
Resources:
- Dr. Cindy Ryan’s website, where you can learn more and sign up for her e-newsletter.
- Learn more about Adam Hamilton, senior pastor of The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas.
Identity Series: Surfing + Queerness
It’s time to paddle out, because in this episode of the Identity Series we explore the intersection where surfer meets LGBTQ+. Rich Overgaard, owner of @surfergays on Instagram, examines his identity as a newer surfer. Marta Dallas Chiesa, co-owner of Gay Surf Brazil – a weeklong retreat that connects LGBTQ+ people and allies for surfing in Brazil – discusses the importance and opportunities of safe travel for queer people.
And my cousin Connor Askew, who was super supportive when I was first told him about not being straight, proves that our bond has gotten even stronger since.
After all, we can all be on the same wave, and it’s our mission that everyone feels safe to get out there and surf and have fun.
Resources:
- Gay Surf Brazil: A weeklong retreat that connects LGBTQ+ people interested in surfing while also helping to fight homophobia in surfing by simply existing within the space.
- Surf the Greats: Surf shop in Toronto, plus offers trips like the one Rich went on.
- @surfergays: Connect with the LGBTQ+ surf community on Instagram and find your next buddy to paddle out with.
Terminology:
- LGBTQ+: Anyone who identifies as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer for their sexual orientation, and a plus to capture the rest of the alphabet.
- In this context, an ally is someone who doesn’t identify within that spectrum, but who is a champion and supporter of those who do identify as LGBTQ+.
Rediscovering that girl who drove me crazy in her red body suit
Years in the making, I finally started it: the girl in a red body suit, getting extra credit when I definitely didn’t need it, and a drag name inspired by cheese crumbles at brunch.
My first podcast episode, it may be a little all over the place. But thanks to a push by my boyfriend Kris, I got the nerve to record, edit, and publish this episode — the first for my “In Hines Sight” podcast.
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com