Inside the Comfort Zone with Adam Kawalec

On this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec, we have special guest Natalie King, a Confidence Coach, joining us for an inspiring conversation about building confidence. We dive into the ABCs of confidence, starting with attitude and the importance of shifting our mindset from 'I can't' to 'Yes, I can.' We explore the role of consuming positive content, eliminating negativity from our lives, and being intentional about what we feed our minds. Our conversation highlights the importance of knowing oneself and embracing uniqueness as key aspects of confidence-building. We also discuss how confidence allows individuals to stay true to themselves, fight for their beliefs, and create businesses aligned with their values. Join us as we delve into the journey of self-discovery, finding balance, and embracing courage on the path to building confidence. Make sure to check out Natalie King's website, nataliekingcoaching.com, for more resources and stay connected on LinkedIn for all the latest updates.

"Confidence is there for everybody. Everybody can be confident, and you just got to know yourself."

— Natalie King

About Natalie King:

Natalie King is a firm believer in the power of self-discovery and self-acceptance. She understands that confidence is a fluctuating journey, acknowledging that one can feel unstoppable one day and unsure the next. Through her own experiences, Natalie acknowledges the human nature of ups and downs. However, she firmly believes that everyone has the potential to be confident, regardless of their past experiences. Natalie emphasizes the importance of understanding one's true self and identifying their unique identity. She challenges the notion that identity is determined by official documents, such as passports or driver's licenses, but rather it is a profound understanding of who a person truly is at their core. With her passion for empowering individuals to embrace their authentic selves, Natalie King encourages others to embark on a journey of self-discovery and cultivate lasting confidence.

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Connect with and find out more about Natalie King:

https://www.nataliekingcoaching.com/

https://bit.ly/myconfidencejournal

https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-king/

Into Your Life Podcast | Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/3renMky0cT1QRMf0GfmvyC

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On this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec, we dive deep into the dynamics of relationships and the importance of making choices instead of compromises. Host Adam Kawalec explores the potential pitfalls of compromising in a relationship, highlighting how it can lead to broken bonds and violated values. Instead, he emphasizes the power of understanding, communication, and mutual agreements based on free will and choice. Adam shares personal anecdotes from his own relationship, highlighting the importance of choosing a partner without obligations or expectations. He discusses the significance of honoring each other's individuality and supporting personal growth, as well as the dangers of outsourcing one's happiness. Throughout the episode, Adam offers practical tips and insights on building strong and fulfilling relationships, highlighting the importance of seeking agreements that honor both parties' needs. Tune in to this enlightening episode as we navigate the complexities of relationships and uncover strategies for building lasting connections.

"Too often are you making compromises that are in fact violating your values or your needs."— Adam Kawalec

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On this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec, we dive into the topic of asking for help. We explore the connection between self-judgment and the judgment we perceive from others, highlighting the importance of avoiding judgment and allowing ourselves and others the freedom to choose whether to help or not. We discuss how companies thrive when employees feel comfortable asking for help and emphasize the importance of clear communication to avoid burdening others. We tackle the fear of asking for help and argue that it is actually a strength, as it takes courage to admit limitations and seek assistance. Adam invites listeners to show their interest in an upcoming online workshop on motivation and growth inside the comfort zone. Join us on this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec as we challenge the fear of asking for help, redefine its significance, and inspire you to embrace vulnerability for personal and collective growth.

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On this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec, we venture into the topic of emotional security. Adam challenges us to rethink the idea of being okay with ourselves and ignoring feedback from others. Emotionally secure individuals understand their personal moral principles, aren't afraid to assert their convictions, and are willing to learn and grow. Adam goes on to discuss the traits of emotionally secure individuals, including being able to offer understanding and encouragement to others, resilience, and a willingness to experiment and learn. He also emphasizes the importance of building strong connections, healthy communication, and establishing boundaries. Adam offers tips on how listeners can develop their own emotional security, using Alfred Adler's theories as a guide. Tune in for this insightful conversation on how we can become more emotionally secure and foster healthy relationships.

"When you truly recognize your self-worth and are building horizontal relationships you are able to acknowledge who you are with clarity, confidence and calm around others."— Adam Kawalec

[00:00:00] "People lie to themselves about insecurities"

[00:05:20] Self-acceptance and growth through recognition.

[00:09:16] Emotionally secure people offer understanding, resilience, independence.

[00:10:33] Self-acceptance leads to emotional security.

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This episode's key point is about the Taoist parable of the Chinese farmer. Adam discusses the dangers of getting too attached to things and labeling them as good or bad. Our brains love to predict and categorize things into binary categories, but this kind of thinking doesn't match reality, which is more complex and nuanced. Adam emphasizes the importance of letting go of our need for control, certainty, and being right, which sets us up for suffering and unnecessary pressure. The episode concludes by highlighting the importance of letting go of the need for control and certainty and embracing what comes our way, with an open and curious mind.

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On this episode of Inside The Comfort Zone With Adam Kawalec, we explore the importance of having solid values, effective communication, trust, and unconditional acceptance in building strong relationships. Adam shares a conversation with a former student on how expectations, impatience, and misunderstandings can hinder building a relationship in the beginning phases. We also learn about Adam's own experience meeting his partner through a dating app, and how their shared values helped them build a successful relationship despite occasional disagreements. You'll also learn about common pitfalls to avoid, including "wokefishing" and projecting expectations onto potential partners. Adam offers advice on how to ask better questions, be patient, and take a genuine interest in others to foster stronger connections.

"It's not necessary to have agreement on all things that are important to you or on the things you value in order for a relationship to be successful. It's about the ability to communicate and navigate disagreements in a healthy and respectful manner." — Adam Kawalec

[00:00:00] Where are you meeting people to date, online or offline?

[00:05:23] Unfair dating expectations, social media facades, and wokefishing in modern dating culture.

[00:09:52] Questions to gauge genuine interest in a social cause; communication is key in successful relationships whether personal or at work. Overlap in values should be at least 70%.

[00:11:45] Take time and have patience to allow people to show who they are; build healthy relationships by trusting shared values and communicating disagreements, as it takes time to develop.

[00:14:50] Connect with me for feedback, questions, or if you want to continue the conversation via WhatsApp or email. Follow and rate Inside the Comfort Zone on Spotify, share it with others, and subscribe for future episodes.

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In my profession as a life coach, I hear the same question being asked by the people I work with. They too have people they care about and that they want to help, without knowing HOW to help them. 

They feel frustrated or even hopeless because their loved ones aren’t willing to accept their help or are willing to change.

The short answer is this challenge is: You simply can’t help someone who’s unwilling to be helped, nor can you change someone else -- OR can you?

Have a listen to this conversation to understand how you best help the people you care about, even when they aren't willing to receive your help ❤️

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Have you ever struggled with making a decision? Feeling stuck between two, or more, options not really knowing which one is the right one?

What tends to make our decision making so troubling is that we see the decision as a choice between two things, when the reality is that often that there’s many more potential options and outcomes to consider.

When you see a decision as an absolute thing, like the end or beginning of something, it will feel very anxious to possibly make the wrong decision. This is why it’s important to remember that the point is to be adaptable and to roll with what happens, and a second thing to keep in mind …

What makes a decision so hard to make is often that you think it’s permanent …

Decision making is hard, but only when you think you SHOULD know which decision to make, as if you already didn’t know. And if it’s true you don’t know, then don’t make a decision just yet … Why would you?

Listen to the episode to get helpful tips and ways to make a better decision and to take the pressure off of your shoulders ...

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Social media is a place full of comparison, competition and even conditioning, so no wonder I feel so low after some time on social media.

My issue with social media is this, 1) it is a place where if you get caught up in it, you will feel more lack, scarcity and possibly anxiety, and 2) a place that breeds separation and even disconnect.

With an outlook of conditioning, comparing and competing, seeing other people as adversaries, thinking there’s not enough for everybody, what you inadvertently make up is a “THEM” and a “ME” — me against them. This get the Ego involved.

Listen into this episode that is unbundling a lot of things, and that arrives at the importance and the truth of ONENESS.

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Must work be so hard?

I mean, it’s said that “if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.”

I had a conversation with career and business coach Val Nelson about what one can do to make work feel less like work.

Val shared some very helpful steps to help you shift away from feeling drained and burnt out doing what you’re doing …

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The insider community is for anyone who wants to live their best life. Whether you've been feeling stuck for a while, lacking motivation or there's simply something preventing you from moving forward, the insider community is designed to help you live a more joyous and purposeful life, with more ease.

Insiders are change-curious people. They have either already tried a lot of things, or are thinking about changing things. The Insider community takes the approach towards change ... that not all change is about doing something new, committing to a new habit or having someone holding you accountable with a looming sense of punishment if failing ...

When embarking on a journey to change, a successful adoption of the said change is very slim. Most actions to change fails. My experience and expertise has shown me that this is mostly due to a mismatched approach to handling change.

Besides taking a more holistic approach to change, upgrading the whole self, what matters when it comes to successfully adopting change is whether you WANT to change, if you think you're ABLE to change, and finally if you can STICK with the change.

Learn more about how to successfully make a change and what it means to become an Insider ...

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In my experience the number one problem for people having a problem is that they’re too focused on their problem. So much thought goes into the thinking of their problem. And often this makes the problem disproportionately bigger than it actually is.

When you focus on the problems you risk getting stuck in what WAS … Stuck reporting on things … Rather than being the creator of, or a contributor to change.

More energy is spent on arguing and debating right and wrong. And you risk getting stuck in a solution-less state entertaining personal and subjective opinions.

What I’ve discovered helps with getting to the solution the quickest, is for each party to become aware of what they need in order for things to be OK again.

Listen to today's episode for a quick guide on how to handle your challenges with other people ... ***

Our minds are so good at thinking it has it all figured out, and when it doesn't it thinks something is wrong and it needs fixing. This is why we often feel stuck, because we think we know, or that we should know. And around we go … trying to do some fixin’. In the doing there’s an idea that IF or WHEN I do X, THEN I will … And that’s again the mind thinking it knows things — trying to figure things out.

The mind is such a problem solver; following its directives of predicting, preserving and packaging all in service of protecting.

And so here’s a big idea … What if the problem the mind is trying to solve is CREATED by the very same mind?! What if the only problem there is is the thought that you SHOULD know what to do.

Learn how sometimes more doing is not the answer and what to try instead ...

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You'll hear from other people sharing about their plans and views on retirement. A conversation that was inspired from Brian Clark's newsletter: Further. Adam is exploring a topic that some of us simply don't want to think too hard on ... You'll learn how to face the new stages of life and retirement making the subject less scary.

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So what do you buy for someone who’s travelled around the whole world as a singer and performer, who’s kind and generous husband can count some of Hollywood’s mega stars as his close and personal friends, and who’s got some of the most amazing friends and family one can imagine??

If you can’t tell already, I was freaking out for a moment. Feeling way too self-conscious for my own good.

Luckily, throughout all the years of us working together and knowing each other, one thing was very clear when it came to what my friend had a particular fondness for …

And then I started doubting myself again!

“What if she doesn’t like them? What if it’s not enough? What would be enough? Maybe I should buy a second pair to make up for the difference?!”

By falling victim to the social trap of wanting to get it perfect, of wanting to avoid making a mistake and picking the wrong item for a gift I was devaluing my original intention, and I was actively denying the value that I had to offer.

If you’ve ever felt anxiety trying to pick the right gift or to make an impact and provide value somewhere then there’s a lesson here for you.

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Being right is dangerous. Being right changes nothing. Being right means more of the same, and nothing new can come from that. Being wrong invites change. It can be the starting point of getting things right. It’s said that 50% of what we know today is wrong, judging from past experience. The only problem is, we don’t know which 50% we’re wrong about! Life, or really anything can’t be about being right. It can only be about getting it right. Whatever you do in life or otherwise, you want to dedicate your time to getting things right instead of wasting time trying to be right. You want to fail, and you want to learn from those failures. In fact, there are no failures. In truth that’s just a label. The only time you fail is when you fail to learn from your failure. It’s not failure, it’s only feedback and data.

Life is a series of choices. What if life was less about being right, and more about getting it right, meaning being an active participant of life or like a scientist with an insatiable curiosity, where right or wrong was nothing more than arbitrary labels, serving no purpose on the journey of living your best life.

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It's a familiar scene: You spend the morning making a detailed to-do list with every tiny task you need to get done, then you spend the rest of the day checking them off. You tally up all the  items on the list, only to realise you still weren't able to get everything done.

The idea of a to-do list is a popular one, but it doesn't always guarantee your productivity. It's easy to organise the day into tasks on paper or digitally, but the real work involves actually doing the work of getting things done.

A to-do list gives you the feeling of getting things done. It feels great to cross things off, or even adding stuff on the list … making you think that THIS will help you get it done … and you get to feel like a responsible, structured and productive individual.

Through the years, handling my own personal productivity and supporting clients with theirs, I’ve discovered some techniques that work better than relying on to-do lists to get things done.

A to-do list helps you DEFINE what you would like to get done or what to work on and towards. That’s as far as it goes in terms of being helpful. So by all means, keep a to-do list, just please don’t expect the list to be the answer to HOW to get things done.

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A survey that was conducted by a branding consultancy in the UK involving 1500 people, showed that only one in three agreed strongly that they had a kind boss and a 25% considered their leader to be unkind.

The respondents that said they had a kind boss were more likely to say that they would stay at their company for at least another year, and 96% of the respondents said that being kind at work was important to them.

What is emerging is that when caring, being compassionate and kind in not only business but also in leadership, it brings positive results for their customers, their employees and for themselves as well.

Hear from some powerful leaders in business about how kindness and compassion plays a role in the success of their businesses.

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In 1991 when the danger of the comfort zone was popularised in the book: Danger in the Comfort Zone, management consultant and author Judith Bardwick talked about how, the comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, providing a steady level of performance, without a sense of risk.

And later, Brené Brown described it as "Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized—where we believe we'll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control."

And Merriam-Webster defines the comfort zone as, “the level at which one functions with ease and familiarity”.

I don’t know about you, but an anxiety-neutral condition, where scarcity and vulnerability are minimized, and where we have plenty of food, time, love, admiration and even a sense of control, where a steady level of performance is provided, sounds rather fantastic to me!

How in the world did this state of being become a problem? How did it become something to consistently leave and at times be ashamed of being in? Why would we ever want to leave it at all?!

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I am on a mission to end suffering. It's been my sole focus for about 10 years now. The other day I came across an article talking about a powerful concept being adopted around the world in order to end homelessness - which to many is a suffering. The concept is really so simple and based on ideas that have been around for a long time ... and is very closely related to being in the comfort zone.