Jaded Eye

It's just masochism at this point. Interest piqued by the insanity of recent release The Iron Mask, we decided to see if watching the first film in the Viy series would provide any illumination, context or understanding of this lunatic series. It did not.

"Neither rain nor snow nor glom of nit can stay these mesengers abot their duty" is a quote wholly out of context for this film, but possibly apt for the Jaded Eye film reviews podcast, who will not stop, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that perhaps they ought to. Anyway, as we struggle for new releases in 2020 here's a straight-to-streaming new action thriller (maybe?) starring Megan Fox about some inept mercenaries, generic terrorists and an angry CGI lion.

Pickings have rarely been slimmer at the UK cinema right now, and much as Jim would have enjoyed going to see Tenet again to see if we understood more of it on repeat viewing, we decided to revisit 'Classic Jaded Eye' territory by queueing up the worst-best looking film we could find on streaming services. So here it is.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the cinema... Well, it really isn't. But we were masked up and there were only two other people in the screening, so we're probably OK. Nothing was going to keep Jim away from the latest Christopher Nolan brainbending blockbuster, Tenet! We think the podcast is spoiler-free but honestly who can tell with this one. 

We were supposed to be going to see Birds of Prey, but then this stupid storm Ciara came along and played havoc with the trains, which meant instead we had to go to whatever was showing next and get back home ASAP. And that's how we ended up watching Dolittle, without question by far the most recent film version of the classic tale for the last 20 years. It may have lived up to its name at the box office, but what little does the film actually do? Well we both know you're not going to watch it yourself, so tune in to find out. CONTAINS SPOILERS later on, but we let you know they're coming.

Well, they're only 120 episodes behind us, but I'm sure Disney will close that gap in no time. An end to the trilogy of trilogies, but is it going out on a high or being retired in shame? 

Plenty of people had their knives out for writer/director Rian Johnson after his polarising take on the Star Wars franchise with The Last Jedi: but it's his turn now with this original whodunit tale packed full of Hollywood heavy hitters. But is it all killer, or just cinema filler?

It's the franchise that always tells us it will be back; but by this sixth instalment is that a threat or a promise?

IT or sh*t? Our podcast on the first part of this film was so long ago it's not even listed any more, so I feel comfortable in reusing the same joke from last time. Films based on Stephen King books are hit and miss when it comes to hollywood, so which column is this one in?

Do Guy Ritchie films and Disney live action remakes have more in common than just a spotty record of quality (Beauty and the Beast live action wasn't very good; there, I said it)? Listen in to find out how well an ageing rapper can replace one of the most energetic improv comedians of all time at the height of his career.

The second part of our Avengers Endgame podcast, where we don't hold back on discussing anything in the movie, so it's chock full of SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

The first part of our Avengers Endgame podcast, this contains NO SPOILERS WHATSOEVER for Avengers Endgame.

It's taken ten years, but there's finally a female-led Marvel movie. But is it any good, or just an amuse bouche before Avengers: Endgame? I mean, you can probably find out from a review site in a nanosecond, but why not listen to us talk about it for a bit instead (eventually, after about 45 minutes of talking about the trailers, as per usual).

She’s back, but should we be saying “it’s supercallifragilisticexpialidocious to see you?”, or “chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim chim f*ck you?”

Could it be the film that saves the DCEU? Could it possibly be much worse than what’s gone before (Wonder Woman excepted)? How annoyed must the producers have been that they couldn’t cast Laurence Fishburne )(fish-born)

The film that answers the burning questions you always had about Queen, such as: ‘which of them studied electrical engineering at university?’ and ‘what was Roger Taylor thinking when he wrote the song ‘I’m in love with my car”? None of this and more will be revealed in the latest episode of the Jaded Eye podcast.

It’s the film series that started it all; well, this podcast anyway. That’s right, revisiting the cinematic universe that gave us Jaded Eye podcast episode 1 (Predators) all those years ago in 2010, it’s the latest instalment: THE Predator.

By now it’s officially the first Star Wars ‘flop’ if you listen to the money men, but there are plenty of critics and audiences that reckon it’s worth a go. So should we give this film a Han, or leave it to fly Solo?

SPOILER FREE PODCAST! Aww yiss; ten years coming, the culmination of the MCU phase 3, this record-breaking film has landed, and we went to the biggest screen in the country to see it on release weekend. How do we cover this film without giving away any spoilers? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Let’s set aside giraffe-necked posters and the 17-year-old (really? OK I’m feeling very old now) predecessor, the new film based on a video game is out right now, and how can that not be good? So is this a new Mortal Kombat, or a new Resident Evil? Trick question, they’re both great films! But is this one? And more importantly, can you possibly trust our opinion now you know what we think of those other two films?

It’s the film everyone’s talking about: just another superhero flick, a disappointment, a transcendent cinematic experience, or something in between?

No, it’s not the Dwayne Johnson/Seann William Scott film Welcome to the Jungle, nor is it the 2013 Jean Claude van Damme film Welcome to the Jungle, nor is it the 2007 horror film Welcome to the Jungle. But enough about what it isn’t; is it any good?

Another day, another Marvel film franchise part 3. But does this one ragna-rock, or ragna-suck?