Here's My Thing
By John Roussos
Here's My ThingMay 11, 2018
No More Felt-Matted Checkers Sets (1/10)
Today marks a new day at a newer coffee shop. The past cafe has been recategorized to a social infirmary: a place where I can go with a mismatched outfit and some unexplained bruises, bedhead too. But this new place that I'm at, it's the fancier, more judgmental of the two. It runs on the very thin line between aesthetic and toxic, something that I think I might need right now in order to get any work done. A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date. Follow the podcast! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnroussosss/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
Coffee S-H-O-P-P-E (2/10)
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
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Twitter: twitter.com/johnroussosss
The Timberland Excuse (3/10)
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
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Twitter: twitter.com/johnroussosss
Hot Chocolate Fucking Whipped Cream (4/10)
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
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Going On A Date After Being Severely Disappointed (5/10)
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
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Shaking Some Hands (6/10)
I start my job hunt by getting stood up for a work interview. Later, I tuck into a Hot Topic, a Lids, and a massage therapy studio before walking into an H&M.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
Follow the podcast!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
The Place Of Possible The Place To Be (7/10)
I share space with a couple of people while waiting for a job interview. One of them was heads-down playing some sort of video game, the other couldn’t open their locker. I wore khaki slacks to the interview.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
Follow the podcast!
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/heresmything_
Follow me!
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
Warm Dogs and Bubbly Water (8/10)
Before I got the job at “the place of possible, the place to be”, I worked at a company that let it’s employees bring their dogs into the office.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
Follow the podcast!
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Follow me!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnroussosss/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
My Company Branded Lanyard and Me (9/10)
I had my first shift at H&M. The girl with the tattoo of the rattlesnake on her stomach sent me a picture.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
Follow the podcast!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/heresmything_
Follow me!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnroussosss/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
Pathetic and Capable (10/10)
I struggled to ring up a pair of pants. Then, right at the end of an important closing shift, some customers tore through each and every fedora, bomber jacket, cargo pant, and v-neck t-shirt that the men’s department held.
A Toast To My Naivety is a 10-episode series about spending time at a coffee shop, working in retail, and an online date.
Follow the podcast!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/heresmything_
Follow me!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnroussosss/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnroussosss
An Elkwood Election (podcast update)
An episode about an Elkwood election, an orange velour jumpsuit, and a man named Declan. PODCAST UPDATE: I’m going to take a break from uploading podcast episodes until 2021 (I’m thinking February/March). I’ve been working on another project for the past year and I want to give it my full attention for the next two months, and in doing so let the podcast recalibrate for a little bit - that’s the word I’m using recalibrate. And yes this means it may not come back in the same format, nothing is set in stone just yet, still brainstorming. I’ll be updating via https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/ and my personal account https://www.instagram.com/johnroussosss/
I so appreciate your support!!!!
A Cigarette In London
Hollywood might say that a cigarette after sex is the closest one can get to nirvana on earth. That when a metal bed frame, linen sheets, and rolled tobacco come together in a unique harmony, we are to use words like glamour, spelling it the o-u-r way.
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The Buzz Cut
The complex that is the buzz cut. How a neglect to shave and this type of hairstyle work so well together, I still don’t know. For this episode, I think out loud about it and shed light on the worst haircut I've ever gotten. In other news, the podcast got its 100th rating on Apple Podcasts last week - thank you for the love and support!!!
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The Telltale Signs of Autumn
This week’s episode is about autumn and is brought together by the following themes: climate change, me defending Joe Buck, a pumpkin spice piece, and I use the word “chafing” once. Enjoy!
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Keith
They’ll tell you that not having sex is the best form of birth control, to which I disagree. Unequivocally, the best form of birth control is getting barbed wire tattooed around your arm (not in the cool way though, this one refers to the less tasteful way - the way that comes with permanent farmers tans and road rage). A story about a relationship, drug dealing, cheating, and a class. Enjoy!!
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Buy Plants
This episode touches on creative blocks, being sad, unmotivated, and buying a plant. Enjoy!
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Dennis and Bree
A story about an unusual couple. You might say the chances of Mariah Carey marrying a single pistachio are greater than these two working out.
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They Keep Their Diary In Their Sock Drawer
Doing some reading from my diary this week. One of the entries isn’t actually an entry from my diary, but part of a satire piece I wrote titled, “A Vulnerable Diary Entry by Tucker Carlson”. These entries are from the past 9-months. Themes include, but aren't limited to pandemic dating, spilling beans on my bed, and springtime.
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Did this episode over a beat by Daringer, mixed for the podcast by https://www.instagram.com/ttttttrav/
Qualified Immunity
Qualified Immunity seems to be a lot like that streaming service Quibi in that a lot of people are aware of it, but not many know what it is. I talk about its background, a Reuter’s study, and reference Eric McCormick (co-star of Will & Grace).
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Sources:
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-police-immunity-scotus/
https://chicagounbound.uchicago.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=13555&context=journal_articles
https://www.lawfareblog.com/what-qualified-immunity-and-what-does-it-have-do-police-reform
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/ku-klux-act-passed-by-congress
https://www.vox.com/2020/6/3/21277104/qualified-immunity-cops-constitution-shaniz-west-supreme-court
https://twitter.com/search?lang=en&q=litigate%20%20(from%3Anormative)&src=typed_query
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4ooadfu42E&t=180s
The Elkwood Forum
To those new to Elkwood, welcome! The Elkwood Forum had something for everyone. The keyword: had. This story is about a mall before and after the boom of online shopping and a college graduate coming home in a less than optimistic economy. Please excuse my terrible southern accent.
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The Chaos Experiment
This week's installment talks about Steve Bannon and his history producing direct-to-DVD films, We Build The Wall, and I even read a haiku.
I post the video to the monologues to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYHJzsY1nzTjrwJ3oxSKH0w?view_as=subscriber
^there's pictures and videos for these and if you watch closely enough you can see my pores dilate as I start to sweat (is that how it works?)
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The Nuances Of Moving Back In With Your Parents
For this episode there is no current event piece, rather I overanalyze some of the nuances in moving home at 25 years old. Which, I suppose, is a current event piece in it’s own right. Enjoy!
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The Mail and Locker Room Talk
Here's my piece on USPS and I remind you about that aunt that writes you once a year, the one who you more remember through her hard-to-read penmanship than actual looks. After that, I tell a story of 3 men, jacked men, who reunited when their gym reopened. The video for The Mail will be up tomorrow! Here’s the YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYHJzsY1nzTjrwJ3oxSKH0w?view_as=subscriber
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Team Names and DISCIPLINE
This week's monologue is about The Washington Football Team name change. The name is temporary, but I like it as it is, I say they keep it. Then for the reading, it was laundry day, which means it was laundry day a couple of days prior. I talk about the lack of discipline in that regard, some of the traits my parents gifted me, chewing big red, and more. Enjoy!
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Understanding Portland and Dutch Bros in Hell
What’s going on in Portland? I give some tips for the untrained federal officers on mass demonstrations (in Portland though, not sure if my tips apply to other cities). This week's story is about the time (last week) when I got off at exit 666 and the first thing I saw was a Dutch Bros coffee hut.
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Disney World and Elkwood's Pandemic
Florida set the record for daily COVID-19 cases, so Disney World opened. Then for chapter 2, we go to Elkwood for a story about the pandemic that they went through.
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K-Pop Stans
This episode is a different format than most. It starts with a current events piece, the topic: K-Pop Stans, what are they? How strong are they? Then we get a brief synopsis of the reading, and we get into the reading which is about people pumping your gas, and a specific gas attendant who never really spoke, but all of a sudden, during the pandemic, and without a mask, he became a comedian. Enjoy.
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Work In Progress - a conversation with DeVoCustoms
For this episode, I'm joined by my friend Nathan DeVaughn, also known as DeVoCustoms. He is an artist in Portland, OR who has had his work worn by CJ McCollum, Jusuf Nurkic, among other athletes. He came on the podcast to talk about his journey as an artist and experience as a black man in the United States.
DeVoCustoms: https://www.instagram.com/devocustoms/
https://twitter.com/devocustoms
Claima Stories with Bimma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/claima-stories-with-bimma/id1495113118
Here's My Thing: https://www.instagram.com/heresmything_/
https://twitter.com/heresmything_
0:50 DeVoCustoms origin story
3:56 does his work crossover at Adidas
4:55 being at Adidas
5:18 Everyone Is Creative
7:33 making art for CJ McCollum and Jusuf Nurkic
12:42 working on clothing
13:50 where does he see himself in 5-years
16:17 not selling anything from his first collection
18:27 what did he learn from that experience
21:10 people who resonated with that experience
22:15 the story behind the Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor piece and why he chose to donate to Don’t Shoot Portland
28:27 his thoughts on Blackout Tuesday and social media
32:05 how should the social media narrative be pushed if we actually want to see legitimate change
33:43 how feels about the protests
36:32 his experience being a black man in Portland
40:57 unlearning and learning
44:14 being a black artist right now
47:06 Shout out Claima Stories
You Look So Hot Wearing That Mask
In 5th grade, my parents signed me up for cotillion. Here, hundreds of other 11-year olds and I learned the specific roles and disciplines of each utensil plate and glass. If I ever told my parents I enjoyed it, I can assure you that it was because I don’t like disappointing people. People would get denied because they came underdressed, I find a slight parallel with the people getting denied at grocery stores for not wearing masks.
@heresmything_
@johnroussosss
This Isn't Fine
It's been a few weeks and the normal social media climate seems to be creeping back in. Not barging in or even knocking on the door, but pulling into the driveway and shining its lights through the front window.
#BlackLivesMatter
@heresmything_
@johnroussosss
Marching with Masks
It’s an interesting complex, as being around so many people brings on a sense of pseudo normalcy, yet the main reason that we’ve come together in masses is to stand up against one the most normal things this country knows. This episode is about the 4th day of the police brutality protests in Portland, OR. #BlackLivesMatter
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Karenly
Karen can't help but say things "karenly".
#BlackLivesMatter
Dress For Success
A man wearing a Gucci t-shirt bumped into me at a street fair. He had a couple of burlap sacks of potatoes for pecs and a two locomotives that I guessed he called his legs.
Paranoid
Books coming in the mail at random unannounced. Not sure from who. It's mysterious, provokes a little paranoia. Also been sanitizing everything, and in doing so, getting my money's worth on Clorox wipes.
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Frozen Cookies
I’d be better off hoping to wake up in time to see dew on the strip of dead grass outside our house than to expect a rainy afternoon in San Diego. When it did in fact rain, people canceled their plans, cars stopped driving, it became a talking point. But it also ixnayed normal dietary protocol, someone didn’t have to get Bar-Mitzvah’d or turn 5-0 for my mom to tear open a new bag of brown sugar and dose a couple drops of vanilla extract into a khaki-colored batter.
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Vicariously
An admiration, an envy for the lengthy frames of cross country runners and their community. And I've taken an appreciation to running through Portland neighborhoods on late Saturday mornings for a certain reason.
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Are you paying attention?
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A Medicine Cabinet
A house isn't a home until you've been sick in it. This goes against the millennial desire of a semi-furnished studio apartment. One plant can't cure everything (maybe 2 or 3 or 4), other variables play into it. Comfort, space, family, love, posters.
Been doing some live streams over on the Instagram account @heresmything_. Trivia, live readings, 10-minute drills too. Join us! Wednesdays and Sundays at 8pm.
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Fedoras
I was googling celebrities wearing fedoras when I found a photo of Barack Obama wearing one. Not the cool photo where he was smoking the joint. This photo is better put as ill-advised. The way he wore it reminded me of how you wear fedoras before going into a photo booth. I’d never force my opinion on him, but if he asked what I thought, I’d say, “Mr. President, there’s a time and place, just not right now.”
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Far From Bored
Dealing with boredom during quarantine, being easily amused, anxious thoughts.
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Pandemic Groceries
The first half of this episode is about a bowl of strawberries my mom prepared for me when I was 9.
The second half of this episode is about grocery shopping during the pandemic.
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Love at The Court (Pt. 2)
Love at The Court is brought full-circle! The thing about this story is that it takes place only as far back as a year and a half ago. So those close to me know that I haven’t dated anyone who looks like Dua Lipa. And if you follow me on social media you’re on the same page too because my feed would maybe be only portrait-mode photos of her. Or photos of her after we’d finish a hike, so blinded by love I’d caption the photo, “Beautiful, but I'm not talking about the view." But me dating Dua Lipa, is far from the point, there's more to it, enjoy!
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Love at The Court (Pt. 1)
This episode is part 1 of a 2 part installment, Love at The Court. Part 1 sets the main stage: a food court. More than that, the general luncheon landscape from an old job downtown. There was an employee at a juice bar at the food court that looked like a Portland version of Dua Lipa, she gets introduced at the end of this episode.
Blisters and Hobbies
Because of some reoccurring blisters on my pinky finger, I’d recently been referred to a specific dermatologist who looked more like someone who would’ve made a killing as a stockbroker in the late 80s than a decorated academic. The appointment paperwork came with a twist.
Initiation
My car got broken into this past week. Obviously that's not good, but after letting it sit, it's really podcast episode waiting to happen, a story to tell! Enjoy.
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Too Good To Be True
The apartment that was too good to be true - I think.
Dank
Buying weed when recreational dispensaries weren't a thing. You said the bud was how dank? And smoking for the first time, chasing something different than getting high.
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Slack
A time where generational gaps plagued social interaction. Thank goodness for Slack and a library of emojis.
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Rips At The Knees
I was on my way to the fitting room to take a snap chat when a customer stopped me and ask if we had any black skinny jeans, the caveat being that they had to have rips at the knees. What he did was no different than asking a server at Red Lobster if they sold Lobster, as ripped clothing is H&M’s forte.
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Tie Me Down
I was getting milk tea at this new place in town with my friend Brae. A couple next to us took a boomerang of their drinks when he told me about some of the double entendres from Eminem’s latest album. Apparently with each time through he’d catch something new.
A few tapioca balls settling in my mouth, “how many times have you listened to it?”
“Eight”, he said
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