Here's My Thing

The Horse Upstairs

An episode of Here's My Thing

By John Roussos
My journey to becoming a fine storyteller.
More places to listen
My journey to becoming a fine storyteller.

More places to listen

Gin and Tonic
I feel like I've had a cold for the past 4-months. I went to the doctor's office to check it out and ended up learning a thing or two about the medical assistant taking my vitals. 
December 2, 2019
Tha Side with Obed Padilla
Obed Padilla is a talented, timeless musician from Oceanside, CA. We met up at his home studio and he told his story. His album Deyssler is available everywhere.  You can catch him @obedpadilla_ on Instagram and @obedpadilla on Twitter.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
November 25, 2019
Paragraphs, Sentences, and a Poem
This installment is a collection of entries from some of my notebooks around the past year. Some of them are just a sentence, some are a couple of paragraphs, there's even have a poem in here. Some have dates and some don’t - the ones that don’t are usually the sentences that I randomly wrote on a page with no explanation. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
November 18, 2019
The Horse Upstairs
I was aware that dogs and cats are allowed in my apartment building, but I had no idea thoroughbred horses are too.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
November 11, 2019
Ideal Day
I matched with someone on Bumble and they asked me what my ideal day was. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
November 4, 2019
Be Now
Leaders in the self-help space have officially exhausted the phrase: be in the moment, and now more often using: being present. It means the same thing, the only difference being the latter looks much better in cursive on a coffee mug. As far as I’m concerned, the over/under for a new moniker to get pushed by a group of influencers is 10 years. My prediction: be now, and I’m taking the under.   Songs used: Chicago Boy- Ari Lennox and Bitch I'm On- Guapdad 4000 Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
October 28, 2019
A Neck Tattoo and an El Camino
Social, self-respect, relationships, goals.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
October 21, 2019
Once Upon A Time (MMC #67)
Once Upon A Time this guy threw on a Stussy windbreaker. This is the beginning of a modern-day millennial love story.   Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
October 14, 2019
Nordstrom (MMC #66)
Nordstrom smells like someone spilled white wine everywhere, and instead of addressing the spill with vinegar or some sort of cleaning solution, they just laced the entire building with perfume. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
October 7, 2019
The Résumé (MMC #65)
This is a story about a young man getting too meticulous when highlighting work experience on his résumé.  There's a Quasimoto (Klay Field) and Madlib (myself) vibe here that I didn't recognize until I was editing the episode.  At first, I was planning on getting someone to interview me, but not sure if I wanted a radio, reporter, or normal voice. I tried to manipulate my voice to be more feminine (I was going off a tutorial online). Instead, I got this Lord Quas-ish pitch, and very glad I did. "Yeah, so peep the steelo of how it go" Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 30, 2019
The Delicatessen (MMC #64)
I've been watching a lot of Curb Your Enthusiasm clips lately, oddly enough I walked into a deli the other day and sat in between what looked and felt like 4 Larry David cosplays. We enjoyed good conversation, I did most of the listening. Also had a good bagel while I was there too. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 23, 2019
Electric Scooters (8/17/18)
I think this is one of the more timeless episodes of the podcast.  Here's the original description: Electric scooters have seemed to assume the main transporting duties in Portland and I'm all about it - they are unbelievably fun. I was thinking about possibly getting into biking to work to help shed some lbs, but with these new scooters, I struggle to see that happening. Maybe I can trick my body into thinking I'm biking? Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 20, 2019
Kiss Ass
All he wanted to do was build rapport with his manager. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 18, 2019
Reality TV (MMC #63)
I have started watching the show Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020. It's fantastic. American reality TV has taught me that you need yelling, screaming, crying, fighting, dramatic cuts and zoom-ins, big personalities sex, yelling and screaming to make for intriguing television. But this Japanese program has shown me that reality TV doesn't need all of that.  This show is almost the exact opposite of the Jersey Shore, but I have now binged both with similar levels of excitement.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 16, 2019
You've seen DJ Khaled try to sell 11-year-olds them through SnapChat. Maybe even on the feet of a UNC recruit pregame at an AAU tournament. But most likely you have seen the Gucci version flexed by your favorite Instagram Influencer. Whatever the case, I have my own pair, and I love them.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 13, 2019
The Chonga Bagel
It's my favorite bagel out right now. And it's from Starbucks - which I'm struggling to come to terms with.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 11, 2019
To Whom It May Concern (MMC #62)
A complaint filed to an apartment building. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 9, 2019
One of Those Days
It just one of those days, ya know? Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 6, 2019
This episode was formed around the theme of lockers in high school, but it dips into teen vaping, the star QB, Degrassi, and more.
September 4, 2019
A Conversation With Nora (MMC #61)
This is the first ever episode with a schedule guest. A great guest at that! Nora Hernandez is the Showroom Manager at Roche Bobois Portland (a French retailer of high-end furniture). During our conversation, Nora sheds light on her favorite pieces, favorite piece of furniture growing up, inspiration, and more. Enjoy! Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
September 2, 2019
Please Call Me (4/5/19)
Still under the weather and now I'm congested, so the sick/attractive voice is gone. With nothing to flaunt, I decided to re-upload an episode that I think is timely considering school is back in session. This episode is about getting donation calls from your alma mater.  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 30, 2019
The Bloody Mary (4/26/19)
I'm under the weather. Sweaty and the whole sore throat deal. Now the sore throat means my voice is scratchy, and the scratchy voice is the sick voice, and the sick voice is also universally recognize as an attractive voice. As much as I want to flaunt that, it hurts to talk, so I decided to to go back to the episode about one of the most iconic beverages in history. Enjoy! Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 28, 2019
"Her" Sex Scene (MMC #60)
I recently got a Google Home Mini. The more I use it the more I am reminded of the sex scene from the movie "Her". The song used towards the end is the same used during that scene, the song is by Arcade Fire called "Some Other Place".  Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 26, 2019
Bathroom Magazines
I have begun cultivating my collection of bathroom literature.  As of now I'm bootstrapping it, as I don’t have a woven basket for the magazines and books you buy at Urban Outfitters to rest in. Follow the podcast! Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 23, 2019
I bought 2 pairs of sunglasses the other day. I got 2 because I took a risk with one, the second being the back up if I can't pull off the 1st. The buy not as much impulsive as an investment in personal growth.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 21, 2019
Thrift Shopping (MMC #59)
I've been thrift shopping since I got my drivers license. Each trip to a buffalo exchange or other store serving as a timely reminder for how my style has changed.    Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 19, 2019
You Again
I was driving Lyft and picked up a familiar face. But he was different.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 16, 2019
Family Trip to the Grand Canyon
I've never been to the Grand Canyon, but I'd imagine the events and motives discussed in this episode are all too common during trips there. Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 14, 2019
400 (MMC #58)
This episode is the 400th of the Here's My Thing podcast. With that, I think it's a perfect opportunity to do a YG episode, as his brand is "4Hunnid". YG is one of my favorite artists. Brilliant, pop culture icon, sex symbol, inspirational. All words that I would use to describe him. The episode is made up of compliments of YG, a fantasy that I have constructed about him, a short story about listening to his album Still Brazy, a breakdown of his song Who Shot Me, and my thoughts on being a "fan".  PSA: for the next 4 weeks, I'm only going to be uploading episodes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!  400 episodes. Wow. Thank you all for rocking with me! Until next time.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 12, 2019
The Dark Knight Interrogation Scene
This is my favorite movie scene of all time. The more I watch it, the more subtle nuances unearth themselves.  As dark and twisted as the Joker is, his words during this scene are almost paternal, beautiful, and the most genuine words that the Batman hears all movie.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 9, 2019
Sliding into the DM (2/12/19)
Everyone, in gearing up for episode 400 (released on Monday!) I have decided to reupload this installment again.  This one is a listener favorite, and the topic discussed is still one that I support. I hope you enjoy!  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 8, 2019
Airplane WiFi
I've bought airplane wifi, but I've also spent $11.50 on juice, purchased extra SuperLikes on Tinder, and paid $20 every 3-weeks, for 5-months for a buzzcut.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 7, 2019
The New York Times
I don't actually read the New York Times, I just try to look like I read it.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 6, 2019
Cardistry (MMC #57)
This is the first ever episode of the Here's My Thing podcast where I'm not the only one talking. I was in the lobby of the Society Hotel and found a group of people doing what looked like shuffling cards. I thought it was interesting so I chatted with one of them alongside my friend, Jess. I hope you enjoy, I had a lot of fun putting it together.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 5, 2019
Birthday (Freestyle)
Everyone! This episode is unscripted, basically addressing the new lids for to go cups at my local coffee shop, plans for the day, then potential direction for the podcast.  Thank you all for the support and love. I am very grateful!!  -John  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
August 2, 2019
I think making rice on the stove top vs. in the rice cooker is an intimate experience. 
August 1, 2019
I stole 3 marbles in middle school because I heard kids in my class stole condoms from Rite Aid and I wanted in on a similar adrenaline rush. I didn't know what condoms looked like at the time, but I knew what marbles looked like. I thought about taking some in-house chopsticks home with me the other day. This triggered memories of my marble thievery.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 31, 2019
My Purse
I got a brown leather bag the other day. I like it a lot and honestly, I think I look good with it on. Some people have tried to get under my skin by calling it a purse, but I find it funny that they have no idea how big of a compliment that is. Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 30, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #38 (2/25/19)
The last of the three time capsules is quite possibly my personal favorite Monday Morning Commute. It's got peanut M&Ms, the PBR of Maine, a documentary, and a hipster on a boat.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 29, 2019
The Jiffy Lube Upsell (1/15/2019)
This rerun takes us back to a very aggressive sales tactic and a very unknowledgeable buyer.  This is a fun one, enjoy!  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 26, 2019
Vomit at the Art Museum (2/10/19)
Everyone, I'm out of town (wedding in the Midwest) meaning I'm not in the studio that's in the studio apartment. For 7/25, 26, and 29 I've selected some of my favorites to upload during those days. We kick things off with a story about sharing an elevator with someone who vomited at an art museum. Enjoy!  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 25, 2019
The Handshake
The opening monologue is spoken over the song "Comment Allez Vous" by Blossom Dearie, and is my take on extremely firm handshakes.  The one I was referring to is something you'd find at networking events with over eager interns and conceited business professionals. The rest of the episode talks about the dying art of the handshake, and how I just recently had the best handshake of my life.  Enjoy!
July 24, 2019
Black Ice
Black Ice is the official car scent of the lifted Toyota Tacoma and Mazda-3 hatchback. I'd also guess the probable fragrance of Blink-182's tour bus. It's timeless.  
July 23, 2019
Tattoo (MMC #56)
This episode is about a tattoo, but far deeper than that, it's about a relationship with an alley cat named Dustin.  The audio clip at the beginning is from the movie "Black Dynamite" - one of my favorites!   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 22, 2019
Snow Day at a Coffee Shop (2/6/19)
Everyone, I elected to re-upload a classic today. The episode that I was planning on dropping wasn't ready so I decided not to force it - I really like the concept and want to work it out.  I'm going to throw the idea into a crockpot, turn it to simmer (maybe low), then readdress next week!  As always, thank you for rocking with me.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 19, 2019
We Hooked Up
This episode talks about awkward interactions fueled by hypothetical hook ups with a large man, petite woman, and a douche. Deeper than that, this episode is about people engaging with each other without looking at their phones. 
July 18, 2019
Juul Pod Save America
A comparison between the Juul and the 1st-generation iPod Shuffle.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 17, 2019
I'm a Savage
Someone went through another coffee punch card. This one in only 10 days (4 below my average). 
July 16, 2019
Vegan? MMC #55
I used to think the terms "vegetarian" and "vegan" were condescending ways to describe the health of your colon. Chapter 1: Coming to terms Chapter 2: If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? Chapter 3: Plot twist Chapter 4: What's next?  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 15, 2019
The Bachelor
I want to be able to say, "I'm baching it", but I'm not quite there yet.  I'm in my twenties, single, I live alone and in an apartment, but I have no spoiled milk, no takeout Chinese food, or no half-eaten yogurt in my fridge. It seems to be a gradual learning curve. 
July 11, 2019
The Cadillac Escalade
The Escalade, Ed Hardy Clothing, and a 5th grade crush. 
July 10, 2019
Baggy, Black Cargo Pants
I'll admit it, the desire for these pants was influenced by Travis Scott.  However, I let that desire marinate in a crockpot for about a year,  only this past weekend pulling off the lid and confirming it was legit. I found myself in a dressing room at an H&M with the baggy, black cargo pants of my dreams.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 9, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #54
Talking a new apartment and shower curtain selection. Enjoy! And let me know what you think of the intro - trying something new! Song: Blessed [Intro] - beatboxbandit  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 8, 2019
Hiking and Me
My thoughts on hiking.  I don't like it, but it hasn't always been this way. I use to like hiking, however in all fairness, I liked it due to the incentives that came with it.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 5, 2019
Who is Jenn?
Apparently she makes Portuguese Muffins and I can find her on Instagram? I'm all for ambiguity, but this was a bit much. 
July 4, 2019
Iceberg Lettuce
Too easy to belittle. Besides the fact that there is no nutritional value, iceberg lettuce can't be found in the trendy juices that come in unlabeled cups from farmer's markets.  But I've got a soft spot for it. I think iceberg lettuce is the tricycle with flames on the wheels, to the 16-speed Trek that is the vegetable world. 
July 3, 2019
Cunning or Charming - #12 of the Select 12
A story about gaining admission to a club without a ticket. Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 2, 2019
The Greatest Thing Southwest Airlines Has Ever Done - #11 of the Select 12
One word: kiosk.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
July 1, 2019
The Man on the Seated Stationary Bike - #10 of the Select 12
This episode takes place at the gyn.  I was warming up before my workout when I came across this man.  He was sitting in on a stationary bike, lackadaisically moving his legs. He was magical.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 28, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #16 - #9 of the Select 12
One of the longer episodes, this Monday Morning Commute ranks the Big 4 (McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and Carls Jr) by their hamburgers.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 27, 2019
Very Expensive Photoshoot - #8 of the Select 12
I got dinged $270 for "running a red light". $270. Two-hundred and seventy dollars. For $270 I don't want one blurry photo of me "running a red light" - for $270 I want 9 different photos from 9 different angles. I want this jaw-line to POP! Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 26, 2019
San Pellegrino - #7 of the Select 12
Where some parents may give their kids tap water or gatorade, I'm going to give my kids San Pellegrino at their sporting events. I like that energy.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 25, 2019
More Rooftop Decks, Please - #6 of the Select 12
So many roofs.  There are so many. But so few open themselves up for a rooftop deck. The pinnacle of social interaction. Not to mention, at higher elevations, the better the libations.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 24, 2019
Craft Beer Pressure - #5 of the Select 12
PSA: It's okay to not like craft beer!!! If you don't like an IPA, you don't have to be ashamed. I'm all about an ice cold - it has to be ice cold - PBR. If we're talking Rolling Rock, it has to be in bottle, but still, I feel like that's saying something. Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss 
June 21, 2019
French Fantasy - #4 of the Select 12
This entire episode was inspired by the movie "Ratatouille". This is my French fantasy.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 20, 2019
#NoPhoneInLineChallenge - #3 of the Select 12
This was my attempt at building an #InMyFeelingsChallenge. Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 19, 2019
Overcompensating Cream Cheese - #2 of the Select 12
There needs to be a limit on the amount of cream cheese applied to a bagel. It was out of hand when this was record and it is still out of hand.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 18, 2019
Succulents - #1 of the Select 12
This is the first ever episode of the Here's My Thing podcast. Only fitting that it's the first of the Select 12 that will be deployed from June 17th-July 2nd. Fair warning, the audio sounds like I talked into a spoon (it's not that great), this was pre-mic!   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 17, 2019
I like a nice hotbox, but probably not the one you're thinking of. 
June 14, 2019
Ice Me Out
This one song takes me out of my room and into the back of a Wraith.
June 13, 2019
The Laundromat
I went to my first laundromat the other day.  Coin laundry.  Here's how it went down.  Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @johnroussosss Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 12, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #53
The fire, the then the most flattering/accurate stereotype, new mic.
June 10, 2019
From a poor experience to a tremendous experience. 12 years apart. This is the boba episode. 
June 7, 2019
Cottage Cheese
People don't buy Cottage Cheese to eat it.  They buy it to slowly but surely push it to the back their fridge and NOT forget about it, but instead neglect it. 
June 6, 2019
Great Illustrated Classics
These books looked like they were 300+ pages, but they were actually only 235-250, but they read like they were 125.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @john_aristotle Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 5, 2019
From The Neck Down
A story within a story. I've tried to do this episode multiple times but was never able to. It's weird I feel like I've done it though, but I may be thinking of my radio show in college. I think that's the case, and if so, this is then the officially recorded, remastered version. Enjoy!   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @john_aristotle Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 4, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #52
Everyone for this episode of the Monday Morning Commute I walk you through a bad date that I went on.  I break it down in 4 acts: 1. The Match 2. Pre-Date 3. Date 4. Post-Date.  The date itself really wasn't as bad as it was boring. The conversation was mainly about high school GPAs and ACT test scores. I understand it takes two to tango, so I'll take partial blame.  I enjoyed the style for this episode with the different, "acts", I'd like to do it again so please, please hit me with feedback (which is always welcome btw). My DMs are open 24/7. Thank you all for rocking with me.   Follow the podcast!  Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_ Follow me! Instagram: @john_aristotle Twitter: @johnroussosss
June 3, 2019
Option 1, 2, or 3
My moral compass was tested at the drive-thru of the hottest burger joint in town. 
May 31, 2019
Tic Tacs
The Tic Tac. Not a mint. Not a candy. Not something in between. I'm not sure what tic tacs are. The only sensible solution that I can come to is that they are meant to help build self-discipline, but again, I have no idea. 
May 30, 2019
The Substitute Teacher
15-minutes of an uninterrupted, magnificent, impromptu monologue that had absolutely no context to the class. It was one of the greatest academic moments of my 16+ years in formal education. 
May 29, 2019
Thumbs Up
A certain situation prompted that I firm the mechanics of a legitimate thumbs up. 
May 28, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #51
The KOMBUCHA episode! It's here. Topics discussed: lightning-struck kombucha, CBD, a farmers market.
May 27, 2019
Nice Warm Hand Wash
A nice warm hand wash is equivalent to 1/4 of an orgasm. Everyone! If you'd like to follow the podcast: Instagram: @heresmything_ Twitter: @heresmything_  Facebook: @heresmythingpodcast
May 24, 2019
A Lifestyle Blogger and a Bag of Burgers
A vision spawned by way of a 10-second snapchat story from a lifestyle blogger.
May 23, 2019
The Jeans and Flip Flops Combo
An Iconic look.  My favorite body type for it?  A 43-year old man. The most important part is that there has to be a gray area as to where his obliques end and hips begin.
May 22, 2019
There's a Better Way
Imagine a reality where your bagel with butter from a coffee shop didn't come in a wax-paper sleeve with butter wrapped in tin foil and a plastic knife to boot. 
May 21, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #50
- 0:00 Intro  - 3:31 Meeting a world champion
May 20, 2019
There was a period of time where I wanted my parents to call me Ryan.  
May 17, 2019
Getting Your Ass Kicked
I start off the episode with some Ira Glass-energy, prefacing the episode for some curse words. And yes, this is technically the first Here's My Thing episode that has a curse word. The word is "ass" so is it really a bad word? By societal structure I guess, but overall it's pretty soft, ya? I'm not sure. For this episode I explore people saying they got their ass kicked by their personal trainer.
May 16, 2019
Blast From The Past
A banana brought me back to 1998
May 15, 2019
Car Talk
This episode is impromptu. It was inspired by a delayed flight, a cell lot, and second-hand listening to "Car Talk".  Enjoy!
May 14, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #49
- 0:00 Intro - 1:46 It was hot - 3:07 Summer camps
May 13, 2019
Good Afternoon
One of the best afternoons in recent memory. Pizza, Walgreens, 5 acres of lawn.
May 10, 2019
Pretty Lady
A tunafish sandwich, a pretty lady, and a ring. 
May 9, 2019
Mesh Athletic Shorts
I value mesh athletic shorts. I do.  I'm not sure why professional sports organizations exiled them in 2008, but all I know is that action has almost given these shorts vintage energy. 
May 8, 2019
We have self-lacing shoes, but not self-zipping pants. What am I missing?  How does that make sense? XYZ. Instagram: @heresmythings Twitter: @heresmythings
May 7, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #48
- 0:00 Intro  - 2:34 Epic Contest - 6:13 NBA player's brother eats steak cooked well-done  - 10:47 Best looking player in the NBA - 11:04 Yelling in a coffee shop
May 6, 2019
Ice Cream Sundae
The only places you can get ice cream sundaes in 2019 are at McDonald's and your cousin's house. 
May 3, 2019
Tummy Pillows
I love a tummy pillow. Where the classic pillow is Usain Bolt, the tummy pillow is Ashton Eaton. Very elite, does a lot of things well, but isn't necessarily the best in one specific area. 
May 2, 2019
Modern Day Speakeasy
A barbershop? Okay, I'll play along. 
May 1, 2019
The 8th Grade Trip to DC
The thing is we all know what I'm talking about. It is THE field trip. The most iconic academic excursion in modern day education. It's the DC trip - and you know it's THE trip to DC because the field trip attendees take a photo outside The White House and they're all wearing beige cargo shorts with Aéropostale t-shirts.  If they aren't wearing this, they aren't in 8th grade and they aren't on THE DC trip. 
April 30, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #47
0:00 Intro 1:45 I think I'm becoming an adult 
April 29, 2019
The Bloody Mary
I love the concept of the Bloody Mary. It's the Inspector Gadget of beverages - and it is because of this versatility that the Bloody Mary has achieved universal levels of enjoyment.  Instagram: @heresmythings Twitter: @heresmythings
April 26, 2019
Stretching and The Rash
I'd rather book an appointment with a new dermatologist, than stretch my hammies, quads, and hip flexers for 15-minutes.  And just so we are clear, booking an appointment with any type of doctor doesn't take 2-minutes.  Try 25. Not to mention actually having the appointment may mean wait times of 6-weeks. 
April 25, 2019
Damian Lillard
"They say the truth shall come to the light, so everybody grab ya shades cuz ya boy that bright." -Jay Z - Damian Lillard. Dame hit one of the greatest shots I'd ever seen last night.  Had to do an episode about it. 
April 24, 2019
Espresso Pitch
This episode isn't as much of an episode of the podcast as it is an elevator pitch... better yet, a 10-12 flights of stairs pitch. 
April 23, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #46
0:00 Intro 1:15 Why Monday is the beginning of the week 2:55 Picking up my prescriptions from Walgreens   7:45 The impulsive Snickers purchase at check out
April 22, 2019
Fantasy Furnished by IKEA
I've always loved IKEA. I'm not totally sure why.  However, I have reason to believe that I think of it in such a good light because most of my dreams and fantasies take place in settings that are furnished by IKEA.  For this episode I talk about one of those settings. 
April 19, 2019
Getting Walked In On
I had this fear, I feel kind of silly saying this now, but I had this fear of my parents walking in on me watching MTV. 
April 18, 2019
The Honda CRV
This is the first episode dedicated to the Honda CRV.  I need an installment of episodes to come close paying homage to such a fantastic car.
April 17, 2019
I Play 6 Instruments
One of my most vivid memories from high school. Beautiful, brilliant, awkward, and cringe-worthy all at the same time. 
April 16, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #45
0:00 Intro 1:45 When people say "tag a friend" on Instagram 8:55 50 Shades of Grey reference 
April 15, 2019
Sentimental Sweat
I'm proud of how much I sweat, but I don't want to brag.  I have no room to do so.  I didn't earn this level of perspiration as I'm merely a trust fund baby, a trust fund baby of sweat.  This episode was fueled off emotion and simple reflection, but it was sparked via memories from recess in 3rd/4th grade where the roots and bottom area of my classmates and my hair would be wet from sweat, but the top layer dry. 
April 12, 2019
His Feet
He walked in, I'm guessing maybe 6'2", tipping the scale around 215? Up top we're talking dad hat, dropping down it's a long sleeve collared t-shirt. Tucked in? Come on, of course. The belt was a brown leather, and the pants khakis - I want to say Columbia. But the kicker: he was wearing flip flops. I got a unobstructed view of his feet. They told a story. 
April 11, 2019
Black Bullhead Denim Jeans
A sentimental episode about my roller-coaster of a relationship with a pair of jeans.
April 10, 2019
Paper Calendar Rant
I feel like we've forgotten paper calendars. Left them somewhere in suburbia 10 years ago. And look I get it, iPhones, Androids, we've got calendar access on the go and on demand. So why do we need 12-paged, flip-over calendars? Let me ask you this: is there anything more aesthetically pleasing than a calendar with 31 Xs on it? A very, very diligently updated calendar? That's a tough one. 
April 9, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #44
0:00 Intro 1:14 No caffeine for 2-weeks 3:12 My #1 pet peeve
April 8, 2019
Please Call Me
I graduated from my alma mater (I feel kind of cool saying that) almost a year ago.  And ya know it's the craziest thing, because not a single person has called me asking for money yet. Not once. Honestly, I think it's kind of selfish. 
April 5, 2019
Have a Seat
For 75/80% of my bus ride home the other day, no one sat next to me.  It was the only seat left, but people elected to stand, instead of share space with me. I don't think I smelled (the Old Spice still doing it's thing), so I'm not really sure what the deal is? And it's crazy because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining that I got an entire row to myself on the bus... but at the same time... what's up? 
April 4, 2019
Graham's Haul
This episode has it all. First, we've got an intro that gives the metrics (total amount of episodes and total amount of downloads) from year one of the Here's My Thing podcast. Then it's story time.  I found myself low on Dentyne Ice, so I did what anyone would do - I went to re-up at the convenience store. Prior to checking out, the man in front of me (if I had to guess, I bet his name was Graham), was buying 3 very different types of items. It caught my eye. 
April 3, 2019
St. Louis Style
Never been to St. Louis, but I support the way they enjoy bagels. 
April 2, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #43
0:00 Intro  2:42 Buying a camera at Best Buy 7:34 1-year anniversaries 
April 1, 2019
The Power Nap
Triggering your second wind, but in a controlled environment. Your Avatar-State. 
March 29, 2019
Grainy, Flash-Heavy Mirror Pics
I don't get FOMO often, but I get FOMO from not taking advantage of when grainy, flash-heavy mirror pics were in.  Don't get me wrong I take a lot of mirror pics, but never in front of a toothpaste, snot, water, splattered mirror (the corners weathered from neglected bathroom fan use). Not once did I snap a flash heavy mirror pic with my enV Touch or even LG flip-phone. That doesn't sit well with me. 
March 28, 2019
Spending a Tax Refund
In comparison to recent years, my 2018 tax refund is looking lovely. But how do I spend it though? Part of me wants to go nuts at Buffalo Exchange or drop a bag at Goodwill. I'm honestly very close to calling Din Tai Fung and booking a two-top, then spend some cash on dumplings and a couple of cocktails. Turbo Tax is great, but here's what I need from them: a formula. A formula that allows me to properly use my tax refund. 
March 27, 2019
Kraft Singles to the Face
People are filming babies, dogs, and I think cats getting slices of Kraft cheese tossed onto their face. It's taken off as a meme/video challenge. To be honest, I'm not surprised with the abnormally high participation with this social media craze, but I am shocked that so many people buy Kraft cheese.  
March 26, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #42
0:00 Intro  0:25 Bringing things full circle  7:12 Cupcake < Cake 
March 25, 2019
$17 For Parking
Been driving to work more.  It's a lovely ride, but it's also $17 for parking, whereas taking the bus only deducts $5 from the bank account.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but the $17 is almost worth it... bump some Quasimoto, drive over a bridge - that's a good combo.
March 22, 2019
I thought Russell Crowe starred in 300, but apparently it's Gerard Butler.  Either way, great movie. First time I saw it was attempted via torrent. Torrent. When was the last time you heard that word? People who don't recognize the early days of the streaming struggles, you've got it easy.   I feel like this episode is a formulaic rant. And for episode #300, I think that's how it should be.  Enjoy!  Thank you all for rocking with me. 
March 21, 2019
Bloody Noses
I got three bloody noses in one day - seemed almost imperative to do an episode about it. Ended this one with a Rocky reference too. 
March 20, 2019
We champion cheese platters, but neglect vats of queso.  I don't think that's appropriate. 
March 19, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #41
0:00 Intro 0:41 When I hear "300" this is what I think about  1:38 Thumbtacks    12:12 Picking up 78/80 thumbtacks
March 18, 2019
Instagram Was Down For a Little Bit
The sounds of the anxious beads of sweat leaving the foreheads of Instagram Influencers and then meeting the hardwood floors of some modern apartments in LA with Ikea layouts was loud an clear on March 13th, 2019. Instagram was down for 8-hours.  
March 15, 2019
I'm thinking about implementing handkerchiefs into my accessory arsenal. But how often am I to wash them? Do I need perpetual congestion to make legitimate use of them? What if I completely disregard utility and only apply these kerchiefs as subtle attributes to otherwise mundane outfits? 
March 14, 2019
Sausage Patties
I very much like sausage links.  Can't say the same about the patties. To be honest, I don't think sausage patties are actually sausage - I think they are smaller hamburger patties that got neglected and pushed to the back of the freezer.  I explore my potential teen-angst-energy towards these patties in the latter half of an episode. 
March 13, 2019
Dollar Shave Club but for Chips
Chip bags are too loud, here's what I'm proposing. 
March 12, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #40
0:00 Intro 2:10 The answer to the question that no one asked 4:57 Expensive dinner 14:10 The bill
March 11, 2019
Brad Pitt's Scarf in World War Z
I live vicariously through Brad Pitt's rocking of this scarf in the movie World War Z.  
March 8, 2019
Me Cards
Not business cards - me cards. 
March 7, 2019
The Softest Thing in Sports Today
We live in an era where not jumping to contest a dunk is encouraged. That's pathetic.  It is the softest thing in sports at the moment. I'm sick of it.  Keep in mind, I stopped playing competitive basketball in 7th grade, and never actually was in a situation where I had to jump to stop a dunk, but I equate this similar to grounding out to short in baseball and not running the play out.  At the same time, hypothetically, let's say the freight train that is LeBron James is storming at you, he cocks back his right arm and is about to pulverize the rim, but you ever-so valiantly leap up to stop the dunk and in doing so you get yammmmeeddddd on.  Worst case is it's an and-1. Chances are you're leaving the arena with an extremely candid photo of you and the King.  Sounds good to me.  
March 6, 2019
*vitamin* water
it's a lifestyle beverage, it's not that good for you, it's vitamin water.  accidentally bought some the other day, and i bought the 32 oz size.  not sure why vitamin water (a lifestyle beverage) is being in that large of a quantity... doesn't make sense to me.  i remember when vitamin water carried more clout too.  back when 50 was an active brand ambassador for it.  can't say it's nearly as relevant now. 
March 5, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #39
0:00 Intro 1:30  Here's My Thing update 3:57  Gum in middle school = cocaine 11:30  Saturday school
March 4, 2019
Beyoncé's 2003 Pepsi Commercial
Finally I set aside the time to talk about this commercial, but had to set the stage with a quick little story prefacing it prior.  In my opinion, this is one of the greatest pieces of media from the past 50-years. Does part of that opinion come from a crush that I may have had (I did) on Beyoncé when I was 8? Oh, for sure. Nonetheless, this truly is a brilliant commercial, kudos Pepsi. 
March 1, 2019
I Chew Big Red
An inanimate object that really isn't too good, but one that I whole-heartedly support. 
February 28, 2019
The Best Part of the Tangerine
It's not the flavor of the fruit.
February 27, 2019
Beauty in it's Most Pure Form
Debatably the sexiest photo on the internet. 
February 26, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #38
0:00 Intro 0:31 Documentary  6:35 A ferry ride and a hipster
February 25, 2019
The Word "Porridge"
The proof isn't in the pudding, and it's not even in the porridge.   The proof is actually in the word, "porridge" .
February 23, 2019
Three Hundred Million
Not replying to texts, Manny Machado, a bandwagon GO PADRES!!!
February 20, 2019
Cunning or Charming?
A story about paying off a security guard.
February 19, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #37
0:00 Intro 0:21 Cardboard  4:21 Girl scout cookies 
February 18, 2019
Unexpected Eye Contact with Andrew Jackson
One of the best feelings in the world... 
February 17, 2019
Under Armour Skin-Tight Undershirt in 2003
If you buy a skin-tight Under Armour undershirt, make sure it's skin-tight. If it's not, that's a problem.
February 15, 2019
My Favorite Commercial
It's either a Heineken commercial or a UEFA Champions League commercial. I can't find it anywhere.  This is my description of it.  
February 13, 2019
Sliding into the DM
The year is 2019.  It's weirder to not slide into someone's DMs, than it is to actually slide on into someone's DMS.
February 12, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #36
0:00 Intro  0:40 Snowpocalypse  9:00 Greek yogurt 
February 11, 2019
Vomit at the Art Museum
A 31 year old man, an amber tint to his beard, walked into the elevator. The rest is history. 
February 10, 2019
Wait... it is really, really good. 
February 9, 2019
Bad Decisions
There I was, at the checkout counter of my local Shell gas station. In my left hand, 80mg of naturally occurring caffeine (yerba mate), and in my right, 36 inches of off-brand Laffy Taffy.  Everyone, it was 8:00 PM on a Wednesday night. 
February 8, 2019
Silk Sheets
I need some cheetah print sheets... maybe a silk shirt too. 
February 7, 2019
Snow Day at a Coffee Shop
Shortest episode yet (I think), but this was one of the longer ones in terms of recording time... but may have been the most fun to create!  Enjoy! 
February 6, 2019
The Photoshoot
Here's my takeaways and thoughts. 
February 5, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #35
This is a story of the journey to an industry party.  
February 4, 2019
The Big Game
Super Bowl Sunday.  Recorded this while wearing a mud face mask.
February 3, 2019
LinkedIn Burner Account
I learned some valuable lessons during my 3-month stint at a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym.  One of which applied recently in a quick intellectual sparring session that I had with a sales "guru" on LinkedIn. Not sure how many of these smokers I can have on a primarily professional platform.  I suppose it's time I set up a burner account.
February 1, 2019
i only type in lowercase now
i changed my keyboard to a lowercase keyboard the other day.  i feel that typing in lowercase gives a certain level of intensity and nonchalantness equivalent to that of the face of a calvin klein model.
January 31, 2019
Arthur on PBS Kids
One of the greatest shows of all time.  I hope this helps bring a warm wave of nostalgia to the mid-90s babies.
January 30, 2019
Pesto, Emotional connections, The Land Before Time
January 29, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #34
0:00 Intro 0:42 Loch Ness Monster  2:08 Stuff that happened in 1934 2:32 Brunch x Dim Sum
January 28, 2019
Beauty Sleep
Apparently a good night sleep is very important.  I used to think saying you need "beauty sleep" was dramatic.  Not anymore... sign me up. 
January 27, 2019
The Rubik's Cube Process (I think)
I think this is how I have to solve the Rubik's cube. Going to block off a day to do it in ideally the near future. Will keep everyone updated! 
January 26, 2019
Sweaty Dad Hats
This episode is about the sweaty dad hat as a genre, but the role of main character is given to my once navy blue (now more of an industrial gray) Padre hat. 
January 24, 2019
ESPN+ Free Trial
Thought I'd give this ESPN+ a go. Was super into my setup when watching UFC Fight Night 143, decided to flow my feelings into the mic.  UFC Commentator Jon Anik said something so great I had to put it in my notebook.
January 23, 2019
It's remarkable how such a tiny piece of wood in my mouth can make me feel so confident. 
January 22, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #33
0:00 Intro 0:19 Keto update 4:14 Scones
January 21, 2019
Gotta Work on My Car
We know that I know nothing about cars, which is why I need clarity.  What does it mean to "work on a car".   Can cleaning a car be working on a car?  That seems so fake.  I want to be able to take a wrench, look at an engine and know what to do. 
January 19, 2019
Been Writing in Cursive Lately
In 3rd grade I had buck-teeth and learned cursive. 
January 18, 2019
Ranch Sunflower Seeds
I remember slinging ranch sunflower seeds to my teammates at baseball practice.  Such good memories. Bought a pack the other day... things were different. 
January 17, 2019
Half an Adidas Track Suit
I bought the top half of an Adidas track suit.  I didn't know that was allowed....? I thought the bottom half and top half were package deals? 
January 16, 2019
The Jiffy Lube Upsell
You went to a Jiffy Lube to get an oil change, but left with a wicked elevator pitch saying that your car is on it's way out. Here is how you defend against the upsell (from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about cars).
January 15, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #32
0:00 - Intro 1:06 - Keto update 7:42 - Eggs 17:57 - Bacon and condoms  Enjoy! 
January 14, 2019
Let me take you back to the first recreational soccer trophy that you ever "won" . I'll tell you this, the NFL needs new inspiration in terms of trophy design.  I think the Lombardi trophy is absolutely pathetic.  It's a sorry excuse for an epic league - don't get me started about the Larry O'Brien trophy, as it just copies the Lombardi trophy.
January 13, 2019
Fanny Packs
Fanny Packs no longer only dance around the waist of middle-aged triathletes, but now along the torsos of hypebeasts. 
January 12, 2019
Everything that you can do on land, but in the middle of the ocean.  Best hash browns that I've ever had were actually on a cruise.  It was nuts, they were the size of chicken nuggets, little cumin on top, some Heinz ketchup and call it a day. 
January 11, 2019
The Greatest Thing Southwest Airlines Has Ever Done
One word: kiosk. 
January 10, 2019
The Man on the Seated Stationary Bike
I saw this man at the gym.  This is what I think his life is like. 
January 8, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #31
Everyone, I'm thinking about going on the Keto diet. Mainly to say "I'm entering Ketosis" and "I'm in Ketosis".  I delve deeper into this only to then transition to Western movies.  I hope y'all enjoy, happy Monday! 
January 7, 2019
Bleep Off
I think bleeping out cuss words actually hits with more malice than cuss words that aren't beeped out. 
January 6, 2019
Reference Dates
2019 is the first year, where 2010 doesn't feel like it was 2 years ago. 
January 5, 2019
The cop out game of PE.  For anyone under 30: we got off lucky not having to use classic, rubber dodgeballs.
January 4, 2019
Goodie Bags
When and why did they get discontinued from parties? 
January 3, 2019
Joining the Gym for the New Year
I believe there is a stereotype with people who join the gym on January 1st of the New Year - which is exactly why I joined the gym on December 27th. 
January 2, 2019
Monday Morning Commute #30
This is the last episode of the Here's My Thing podcast for 2018. For this Monday Morning Commute we talk about the expectations set for New Year's Eve Celebrations and this new chair I bought. Happy New Year, enjoy! 
December 31, 2018
Bowl Games
There's too many. 
December 30, 2018
Going Viral on Twitter
There is a formula and it seems so simple, but at the same time so, so hard.  I know it's gotta be remarkably relatable, and I know it can be in the form of a meme about air-pods, or a stick figure doing "the whip", but going viral on Twitter is ever-so elusive. 
December 29, 2018
Cologne Commercials
I was watching a lot of the USA channel when I was back home over the holidays.  I couldn't help notice a large amount of cologne commercials being aired, and I'm not sure why. However, I can 100% tell you that cologne commercials are some of the weirdest bits of advertising out there. 
December 28, 2018
Calorie Counts on Menus
I personally don't support the idea that menus display calories. Not sure why it's a thing really? And I don't think restaurants did this to themselves, but for some reason they have to do it. Did someone get sued? What am I missing? 
December 23, 2018
Love, But Actually
A Rom-Com so brilliant that, for 2-hours, I forgot Liam Neeson was a part of the "Taken" series.
December 21, 2018
Unoriginal Team Names
Not sure if this is known, but if you are a soccer team in North America, you don't have to name your pro soccer team after your city then follow it with "United" or "FC". On top of this, if you are in charge of choosing the name for your sporting franchise, there is no word bank of predatory animals that you have to choose from. Dance outside of the box, please.
December 20, 2018
The DMV and College Textbook Returns
The DMV is terrible. Absolutely terrible. With that being said, I had a weirdly positive experience my last trip. Overall it reminding me of the time sensitivity in returning textbooks in college. Enjoy!
December 19, 2018
Letters Should Be Handwritten Only
One of the last things that I want to see on the island in my kitchen when I get home is a letter from AAA or Chase. If we are doing letters, let's limit them to: handwritten thank you, gratitude, and love letters. AAA and Chase if you want to get ahold of me, well I think you have my phone number? You for sure have my email. Honestly just FaceTime me.
December 18, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #29
The topic for this Monday Morning Commute is the classic real Christmas tree vs fake Christmas tree debate - and debate is a poor way to put it because it isn't much of a contest. The real tree is better, but at the same time, the fake tree beats the real tree to some spots. Let's talk about it.
December 17, 2018
Hot Chocolate
I'm just not a hot chocolate guy. I get warm (more of an uncomfortable warm, kind of like you have a cold and are warming up indoors bundled up to the neck, not as much a warm laundry warm), rosy cheeks and nauseous - does that sound good to anyone?
December 15, 2018
Christmas Shopping
I don't get the bad rap on Christmas shopping, or shopping in general really. I'm not talking about online shopping by the way. I'm talking about physical putting yourself in a store to buy someone you care about some random good.
December 14, 2018
Matt Brown
I am not confrontational at all. I thoroughly enjoy it when 2 completely different people, with different viewpoints, get along. The other day I was listening to the Joe Rogan Experience and a man named Matt Brown was on. I knew who Matt Brown was, and to be honest, when I think of someone who does meditation, the last person I think of is Matt Brown, but my gosh Matt Brown surprised me. I supposed I like it that opposites attract.
December 13, 2018
There is no need to be scared of pickled vegetables. It's basically solid kombucha.
December 12, 2018
Veteran Moves
Veteran Moves in sports are nothing more than elite levels of situational and self-awareness. And I absolutely love it.
December 11, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #28
Finally found my new dentist. I always thought that dental facilities were supposed to be in generic, commercial real estate buildings in the suburbs - never thought I'd see a dental office in a downtown setting. I'm glad I did, as this office provided me with more than just a tremendous cleaning, but an epic view of Portland. It was odd, I felt that I was in a luxury movie theatre, but at the same time, I was having people take photos of my teeth.
December 10, 2018
Brussel Sprouts
The modern-day ugly duckling. I appreciate the glow up.
December 9, 2018
Prepackaged Sandwiches Rant
I'd take a prepackaged hard boiled egg from 7/11 over a prepackaged sandwich from basically anywhere.
December 8, 2018
A Phenomenon
I think I experienced a phenomenon the other day. Not sure, but I almost added someone I didn't really know on Facebook then I realized it's not 2009.
December 7, 2018
Santa Side Hustle
Forget taking down trees and hanging up lights. I am astonished by the lack of Santa-For-Hire Instagram pages out there. I'd like to think that if you are good at what you do, no reason you aren't bringing home $500 a weekend in December being Mr. Claus. Maybe I'm overestimating - the point being, no reason to hang lights from a sketchy ladder when you can post up in a comfy chair and take photos.
December 6, 2018
Keeping Up With The Peanuts
The peanut has little to no talent, but it is the most popular nut in the world.
December 5, 2018
Eyebrow Issues
90% of my eyebrows are in line, normal sideways growth directed towards the temple. However, 10% of my eyebrows for some reason feel the need to grow towards my forehead and I have literally no idea why. Not sure exactly where I went wrong. I'm not here to cry over spilled milk, but if someone knows how to tame my brows please let me know.
December 4, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #27
The original idea behind the Monday Morning Commute was to record longer episodes to keep people company during their commutes on Monday mornings. I feel that more often than not when you're in your car on Monday morning you're probably going to work or something like it. Come to think of it I don't think any of the 26 MMC episodes had anything to do with work-related stuff. So, for the 27th installment, I discuss networking and my recent experience at a work-related event. After that I quickly touch on free-stuff. Let's have a great day. Enjoy!
December 3, 2018
The originally celebrated, curiously strong mints, Altoids.
December 2, 2018
Is Chivalry dead? Depeneds what definiton we are going off.
December 1, 2018
I Don't Have a Bed Frame
I don't have a bed frame, and people seem to think that's very odd. There have been a lot of eyebrows being raised, and I'm not sure exactly why. If it's because I'm compromising my health, by all means, please step forward. Aside from that... not sure what's up?
November 29, 2018
My Charcoal Face Mask Experience
An experience beyond that of the application of the mask.
November 28, 2018
Legalize Slurping
There was someone, somewhere, at some time that decided that slurping was rude. Your only passes? The first few sips of coffee, tea, and soup. This makes no sense to me - slurping is simply efficient, and to be frank, complementary to the chef.
November 27, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #26
Who inflates their prices the most? 1) Sporting arenas 2) Airports 3) Movie theaters
November 26, 2018
eBay and Peyton Manning
I bought a Peyton Manning jersey the other day. A Reebok sponsored blue Peyton Manning #18 Colts jersey. I'm elated. Been thinking about making this purchase for a long time now. The market? eBay.
November 25, 2018
Black Friday
The hottest deals, but at what cost? Is there a better way to do it?
November 23, 2018
Thanksgiving Lessons from Creed 2
I couldn't help but draw parallels between Thanksgiving dinner and Creed 2.
November 22, 2018
Questioning Reality
Bought a Greek Philly Cheesesteak the other day - basically a Philly Cheesesteak with feta on top. As I was paying I noticed some baklava in an elevated pie case by the register. This opened up a few questions for me.
November 21, 2018
Raisins are in a bad spot. That's all I'm going to say.
November 20, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #25
A Thanksgiving special. Consumption strategies at the dinner table and turkey isn't that good.
November 19, 2018
TV Trays
Once an innovative breakthrough, now an item with value that has depreciated faster than a Rolls Royce.
November 18, 2018
Everyone, episode 200! Thank you all for rocking with me!! For this episode, I talk about the Fanta that I had at the airport. I couldn't help but connect my orange beverage to lean - I break that down a bit.
November 17, 2018
Lessons and Metaphors
The keyboard clicks loudly, but the pen not so much.
November 16, 2018
Cocktail Parties
Cocktail parties: high level networking with dire economic and political consequences.
November 15, 2018
A Christmas Music Episode
I say "A Christmas Music Episode" because there will probably be more. I just wanted to address when it is appropriate to start listening to Xmas music and that Xmas music is unbelievably average, but pushes the perfect emotional button.
November 14, 2018
Need For Alarm Clocks
I woke up the other day and immediately hopped on Instagram for 1 hour. It's totally legal, but I don't think that's okay. The iPhone is great, but once I silence the alarm I've got the world of app enjoyment at my fingertips, sometimes that's tough to turn down at 8:00 AM.
November 13, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #24
I figured once I transitioned to college, that was the worst shape I was going to be in ever. All the beer and junk food, I mean it just makes sense that cardio would go downhill from there. What I didn't know was that it would just get worse after college. From this, I break down the effects of having a lot of fried chicken before a soccer game (I got nauseous). I also break down the game of pool, the dynamics, the etiquette, but most importantly, pool table felt. For me, pool table felt might be the sexiest material out there. I'd like a jacket made out of it. Happy Monday, enjoy!
November 12, 2018
Mechanical Bulls For Kids
I was buying deodorant the other day and when I walked out of the store, I saw something odd out of the corner of my eye. To my surprise, it was one of those late 90s early 2000s vibrating cars that kids would ride. I hadn't seen one of those in ages. Is it like the fairly odd parents where they disappear when you hit a certain age? Why are they not as common anymore? What am I missing?
November 11, 2018
Shin Guards
The shin guard dynamic changes over the course of each player's career. It starts attached to ankle guards, but much like a rocket into space, certain components break off until you're ultimately left with a small piece of equipment. I'm going shin guard shopping for the first time in a long time and can't help but breakdown this topic.
November 10, 2018
Toiletry Bags
Apparently when you sign a contract to play professional sports, within the lines of that contract, there is always a sentence that says you get hte toiletry bag of your choice.
November 9, 2018
Broken iPhone (story)
Youth, infatuation, destruction, despair, coincidental, Smirnoff, the state fair and an iPhone
November 8, 2018
There's Still Candy Left
Self-discipline being tested a lot right now. To be honest, I am not passing with flying colors - I am caving, emphatically. But can you blame me though?
November 7, 2018
The Grilled Cheese
I had undoubtedly the best-grilled cheese of my life the other day - that's not saying much, I don't have grilled cheeses that often. With that being said, while I was eating it I had a realization, a revelation if you will.
November 6, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #23
I got a buzz cut for the first time in 7-years and I take a moment to address the "hot guy voice" also known as morning voice or the getting-over-a-cold voice. Enjoy!
November 5, 2018
Fake Tattoos
I blasted myself with fake tattoos and they came back to bite me in a very cringe way.
November 4, 2018
The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
The pursuit of perfection? I am not sure if it is that as much as it is literally timeless authenticity. The brilliance? Well, it's in the simplicity.
November 3, 2018
They're Always Listening
I was talking with a colleague about these shoes he was wearing. Not once didn't I search them on the internet, but I was talking about them with another human being and I ended up getting an FB ad about these very shoes. It would be all too easy to break my computer and phone only to go rogue, but I see an opportunity here. By opportunity I mean digital age arbitrage.
November 1, 2018
LinkedIn Statuses
I was on LinkedIn the other day. Read a few good articles. Congratulated some people. And then I noticed something. All LinkedIn statuses are in the same format... Not sure why this is. What am I missing? #productivity.
October 31, 2018
Clout is when you can get me to buy something I don't want.
October 30, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #22
I'm just going to say it: all red wine tastes the same. The main difference is some are more confrontational with the taste buds than others. Also, sponges are disgusting. I love the idea of them, however, I just can't help but believe that they are a hotel for bacteria. Every time I'm around a sponge that is over a day old my allergies act up, regardless of whether or not I'm taking my Zyrtec. Enjoy!
October 29, 2018
Coffee Table Books
The subtle brilliance that comes from putting 5 books on a piece of wood is incredible. Look, if you're not occupying that space, what are you doing? That's precious real estate.
October 28, 2018
Are All Catholic High Schools Good at Sports?
But actually though... why is this a thing?
October 24, 2018
The Malice At The Palace
After watching the heated exchanged between the Lakers and Rockets, I couldn't help but draw a connection to the infamous "Malice At The Palace." *I was off in terms of what I thought they got fined then and what JR Smith is potentially going to get fined now*
October 23, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #21
For the 21st installment of THE Monday Morning Commute, I express my thoughts about allergies, then set the stage for bowling shoes which ultimately finds it's way into velcro. Let's have a tremendous day everyone. Enjoy!
October 22, 2018
Lyft Etiquette
Hopped in a Lyft at 4:30 AM to go to the airport last week. The mood was there, my luggage fit in the trunk (the car was a Yaris so that was a win), the driver was kind. However, she played a stand-up comedy routine at 4:30 in the morning - the volume was way up. It threw off an otherwise beautiful moment and from there I wasn't sure if this was appropriate or if I should've taken action.
October 21, 2018
Refrigerators That Dispense Ice
The optimal amount of luxury.
October 20, 2018
Vegan Ginger Cookie
I firmly believe that vegan desserts shouldn't be a thing, however, I caved against that belief the other day. Not to exaggerate or blow things out of proportion, but I very well may have had a cookie that has now graced my top 10 list.
October 19, 2018
Essential Oils
How essential are essential oils? In all honesty, I don't fully know what an essential oil is or what it does. I think it's an oil that's essential...? Apparently, olive oil isn't an essential oil, which makes no sense to me at all. The only "essential oils" that I know of are lavender and tea tree - both a little overrate in my opinion. There has to be more, ya? Enjoy!
October 17, 2018
Fruit Snacks (Economics)
Econ 101, class is in session. Are fruit snacks actually good, or are they good because we have them in such small quantities? What about caviar? You're telling me people actually like caviar...? Let's make caviar $5 a tub and see if anyone actually buys it.
October 16, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #20
The original plan for this episode was to talk about sweatbands and playlists, but on my way to record this episode, I ripped my pants getting into my car. So the first half of this episode is pretty much raw emotion towards what happened. After that, I talk about how I can't make a good playlist at all. Never have been able to curate a list that flows properly... and I don't think I am being too hard on myself either. Have a great day. Enjoy!
October 15, 2018
Dippin' Dots
I don't think Dippin' Dots are good, I think they are fun. There is a difference. What happened to them? I think you can only get them at stadiums now... is that just me or does anyone else notice that?
October 12, 2018
U-turn Appreciation
There is a direct correlation between how many U-turns you make, and how happy you are with your car. U-turns provide G-Force, but controlled G-force at that. I think we associate U-turns with making a mistake because we usually make a U-turn after we missed a turn. Let's not compound that error and contaminate the punch that is the "Uey".
October 11, 2018
Broken Arms on Monkey Bars
50% of broken arms in 1st-4th grade came from playing on the monkey bars.
October 10, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #19
Got called "Honey" by a stranger and it felt good. The best part about it was that I don't think she was thinking about it when she said it. Like it was a part of her normal rotation of words and was one of the lucky ones that got to hear it. It's becoming more and more apparent that subtle compliments can be great joys in life. Also, let's just get it straight that tickling is terrible. It isn't fun. It doesn't feel good. It's uncomfortable and annoying. Hey, let's have a tremendous week. Enjoy!
October 8, 2018
Emotional Blurb About Dress Socks
Why are all dress socks mid-leg? Why don't we have ankle exposing dress socks? Because we might get blisters? Let's pad up the socks then. Why are dress socks always that thin, slick material? Am I inferior if I wear lower leg Nike Drift socks with my suit?
October 6, 2018
WWE Reflection
Attended my first ever WWE event on Tuesday. Placed my thoughts, feelings, and takeaways into a crockpot, set the heat to low, went out and about for the day, came home around 6:00, turned the crock pot off, opened the lid and this is what came out.
October 5, 2018
Cowboy Boots
I know that there is going to be a moment in my life, where I am going to need a pair of cowboy boots. It's a gut feeling really. I don't want to get to this moment, look into my closet, and see everything but a pair of cowboy boots - it's imperative that I take action. But how do I go about this? I think it starts with a trip to some sort of western boutique, and for authenticity purposes let's start it in Texas? I believe the saying goes: failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
October 4, 2018
How To Solve Problems
The answer is in any drama on CBS, ABC, TNT, TBS, and/or NBC.
October 3, 2018
Mason Jars
Apparently, the only way to drink anything nowadays is through a mason jar. How did this come to be? I am assuming a picture on Tumblr blew it up, but that may just be me.
October 2, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #18
For this episode of the Monday Morning Commute, I quickly discuss my Red Lobster experience only to transition to the most indulgent weekend of my life. We then dive into the meat of the podcast... Candy corn is terrible, but we need it. Happy Monday, enjoy!
October 1, 2018
Goodbyes On The Phone
Have goodbyes on the phone become awkward? Or scripted? or force? I think all of the above.
September 30, 2018
It's Called Advertising
Do you advertise on bus benches to actually help grow your business? Or do you advertise on bus benches, to say that you advertise on bus benches?
September 29, 2018
Red Lobster
I'm going to the Red Lobster for the first time in my life. Honestly, I genuinely don't really know what to expect. Very, very excited.
September 28, 2018
City Hall
Has anyone ever been inside city hall? I don't think I have ever seen the inside of city hall. Movies have taught me that city halls are big deals, but that hasn't been the case for me. It is such an intriguing topic. City Hall. It's got a great ring to it. City Hall. Say it real quick. Focus on the fluctuation of your voice as you deepen it at the word "Hall". Enjoy!
September 26, 2018
Tin Foil
The 8th Wonder of the World. Tin Foil plays by it's own set of rules.
September 25, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #17
I would like it if we could somehow make the summer-to-fall transition abrupt - go from 80 and sunny to 55 and nippy - instead of this gradual shift into place. Pumpkin spiced lattes (PSL) are overrated, pumpkin cookies are absolutely fantastic, pumpkins are amazing in their own right. Sorta in that order, actually. Enjoy!
September 24, 2018
3 People, 1 Sauna
I found myself alone in a sauna with a lawyer and someone covered head-to-toe in tattoos. If I didn't know any better, I was on set of a Wes Anderson film.
September 23, 2018
Energy and the Gas Station
The energy the other night wasn't too good. Laying in my room, I looked around. Pile of clothes begging to be folded, my bed very much uninviting - things were off. I threw in the headphones, queued up P-Lo, and made my way to the gas station. From there, 24 ounces of Modelo and Flamas chips all went on the card. After that, I watched a drama with my housemate and enjoyed the evening. Proper, energy was restored. Does this need to need to buy things to restore energy? No, of course not. Spontaneity, well that may help.
September 22, 2018
A Mellow Rant About Printers
A mellow (I'd like to think melodic) rant about printers. Don't know how much longer they will be around, but I appreciate them. There was a time where the amount of revenue your company brought in was directly related to the size of your printer. Think about that.
September 21, 2018
The Shower to Bed Transition
If you dont know, now you do.
September 20, 2018
The Vitamin Shoppe
I never knew that The Vitamin Shoppe existed. I always thought that it assumed retail space when renters were looking for actual tenants. Turns out it is actually real, as I found myself in one looking for some MCT Oil that I am going to use to make bulletproof coffee. It doesn't end here, because apparently "shoppe" is a fancier, more aristocratic version of "shop" and after sniffing around The Vitamin Shoppe, I am starting to question as to why they choose to use "shoppe" in their title.
September 19, 2018
Dead Roses
We have some roses at my house, I think 12 of them. They died a few days ago. The head, the bud of the rose, dipped downward, all of them in the same direction. It was cool! The color of the petals, well they had this rich, luscious, dark red, much a merlot in the middle, but the outside was still graced by the lighter, more lively red that they once were. I started smiling seeing these roses, literally, I was captivated by the beauty in them. I think dead roses might be more beautiful than alive roses... or at least, still beautiful so let's not throw them away as soon as they wilt. I feel like I'm neglecting some sort of literary device, but at the same time beauty peeks out in places we may overlook... which actually might be a literary device in it's own right... so... well here we are. Enjoy!
September 18, 2018
Monday Morning Commute #16
It had to be done. I went to the Big 4 of American fast food burger joints, tried each of their basic hamburgers, and then ranked them. Enjoy!
September 17, 2018
There is a lack of appreciation for umbrellas. In PDX it seems that you are looked down on if you use an umbrella - I can't get behind that. Umbrellas keep me dry and prevent me from putting on a hood which usually messes up my hair. Let it be noted that I am currently looking for an umbrella with a brown handle and black top... willing to spend $30.
September 16, 2018
Articles on How to be Productive
Articles on how to be productive are all the same. It's the same steps just shuffled around. Yet, I love to read them. I don't really apply any of the principles, but I feel super good about myself after each read. It's a very interesting concept, especially when you consider that reading these articles isn't actually that productive at all. Ya?
September 15, 2018
Fireplaces and Macbook Pros
There are 3 types of fireplaces. The ones that burn wood, the ones with fake wood and MacBook pros that show youtube videos of fireplaces. They are all different, but they all share a common trait: each fireplace provides a platform (the only platform) to use the word cackle.
September 14, 2018
Hands of Character
I want to have callused hands without having to do manuel labor. Is there a cream for that?
September 13, 2018
Not a chair, not a sofa, but something in between... a loveseat. Spacious for one and it promotes cuddling. Questionably always worked in, but undeniably comfortable. Loveseats are fantastic.
September 12, 2018