Juan on One Coaching

I discovered a pattern today. An environment that continues to repeat throughout my life.

**_In high school,_**  my passion for honesty, thoughtful action, and integrity help me create the perception of being a know-it-all. A spoiled brat who slammed doors and books when things didn't go his way. Due to this behavior, I alienated many people. I felt out of place. And, only a handful of people took the time to go beyond appearances and seek to understand me.

**_In college,_** I used my high school experience to keep to myself and just do the class work. I didn't make any friends. I didn't go out. I spent most of the time by myself. I felt out of place because I wasn't interested in what classmates where doing and didn't have someone to have meaningful conversations.

**_In corporate,_** I got better at building relationships and working with others. Yet, my passion for challenging the status quo and doing the "right" thing for our customers and coworkers, became a reason for people to believe, once again, I was a know-it-all. Things got worse after I passionately pursued leadership development. I only felt safe having transparent conversations with a handful of people.

**_After corporate,_** I came to realize that all those relationships I had during my corporate days, where mostly superficial and most people didn't really care enough to stay in touch. Furthermore, add the lack of support from the closest people in my life, and once again, I find myself feeling out of place and tackling the world alone.

_What's the message? What's the lesson to be learned?_

I'm not really sure about the answer but I can share the 2 ways I'm thinking about it.

# Option 1 - It's what I created and deserve

Whether consciously or unconsciously, I can argue that I created the loneliness and limited friendships based on the idea that's how life should be or that something is wrong with me.

This is the opinion I have had for some time. Since my corporate days, I take 100% responsibility for my circumstances and feeling like the oddball is a result of me not being able to adapt my message to the groups I am a part of.

For many years, I thought I was doing everything wrong. I still have those moments, today.

# Option 2 - I'm simply talking to the wrong crowd and in the wrong place

Currently, this is the idea I am more invested in. I think that, while I definitely had responsibility in creating the 4 scenarios, I have been trying to make myself fit in a box I do not belong.

I started believing this when I noticed the same message didn't connect with my immediate network but did connect with people outside of my network.

My challenge has been believing in this perspective strongly enough so that I stop trying to get my current network to buy into my message. For whatever reason, I continue to try to mold myself to a place I do not seem to belong.

Thus, I'm working on expanding my network and finding those who need and want to listen to my message. I do not fully know where are they but I do know they exist.

**_I'd love to meet those successful professionals who have reached a point in which work has taken over their lives and they no longer fill challenged and fulfilled by what they are doing. They have succeeded at the expense of the time for the things and the people they love. They want to change things but they are afraid of what others may think and their performance declining._**

If you know someone who is probably in this situation, I'd like to meet them.

If you are that person, let's setup a time to chat.

Be well,

~Juan

Every now and then I like to challenge the status quo. This time I'm ignoring the best practices and just acting based on inspired ideas.

I'm thinking this is going to generate better experiences for me.

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Whenever I coach someone who is struggling to move forward, I usually start by asking where they want to go.

Most of the time, the response is a flavor of getting away from the current challenge instead of sharing the vision for their ideal situation.

I know the feeling because I have done it before. I have spent 99% of the time thinking about the problem and forgetting about why is it a problem in the first place.

For the past 12 months, I have been attempting to follow my own practice and clarify my vision. I dislike admitting that my results have been inconclusive.

For whatever reason, the vision exercise is not helping me focus my energy.

Instead, what's getting stronger is the feeling that I should go back to my roots, walk in faith and just action inspired by instinct rather than logic.

Thus, that's what I'm going to be testing going forward. I am going to structure my day based on inspired ideas.

On the surface, it appears I am contradicting myself. Yet, I am not.

My purpose is to create a life in fully customized to who I am becoming. My internal compass is currently telling me to walk in faith. I have already tried the rational way and haven't seen the results I want. Thus, I'm trying a different way.

Only time will tell whether I am right or wrong.

Here goes a reinvention of Juan.

Be well...

I have been at war with myself. On one side, my body is asking me for rest; on the other, it asks for action.

The result? Mental burnout.

Here are 2 stories that helped me understand the power of environment.

Do me a favor, I'd like to know how your environment has fortified or limited your success.

Hitting in baseball has shown me a lot about living life fully.

Today, I'm reflecting on my progress so far thanks to a phrase from Simon Sinek

We should never let reality interfere with our dreams. Reality can't see what we can see. ~Simon Sinek

Today, I'm passing along advice from Mel Robbins (5 Second Rule Author), that I thought was very practical.

 The end of the beginning. A new phase is starting to come. I'm not sure what it is but I do know this daily message is not doing it for me these days.

The content is good but I don't feel in alignment with it anymore mainly because I am unconsciously doing it expecting an outcome rather than sharing from my space of greatness.

Another change is coming.

I have been listening over and over to the book Supercoach, hoping to find the answers to my current riddles.

Here's a story from the book to serve as reflection for your day.

It's just easier to have something already defined for you to do.

I heard this concept from Jim Kwik and I didn't think much about it until now.

I thought to pass it along and see if it triggers an insight.

What do you think is your top question driving most of your behavior, currently?

It's likely you go out on a walk or watch the news and think life is not fair.

In this one I share a different perspective.

Share with me what ideas come to mind.

I wanted to pose the question and learn a little more about your mindset and how you are approaching your life and career.

This is something that I do with my clients and it proves to be a valuable to to bring awareness to how aligned are things in your life.

Comment below with your answer.

Have you ever been curious about those movies in which enemies become allies for the benefit of saving mankind?

Have you wonder if that happens in real life?

When a team lacks performance and fails to bring everyone together, it's mostly likely due to their inattention to results. A situation that's created by the absence of a unifying goal.

Watch for the final piece of the five dysfunctions of a team.

No trust = No conflict = No Commitment = Low Standards

High performing teams are comfortable holding each other to high standards. But before that happens, this needs to be present.

Watch and learn.

Share below how you apply this concept and what makes it easy for you.

You have seen it. You have probably done it.

It happens often and it's the biggest hindrance in getting a team to achieve the results they want.

Share below what you think.

Continuing with the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team overview, today we talk about the second dysfunction...conflict.

It's what a lot of people avoid under the pretense of respect and being nice.

Whatever you think about conflict, it's important to recognize that all great movies have it. It is a required element of high performance.

Listen and share your thoughts below.

I was running out of ideas so I decided to look at my library of books and discuss one of the books I have found useful.

I picked The 5 Dysfunction of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.

Here's the 1st dysfunction and stay tuned for the following 4.

Comment below with your questions and ideas.

Plenty of people I know use the word. They believe it to be a problem. Yet, they don't realize it doesn't really exist. The the feelings they are experiencing are actually a result of a lack of something much more important.

Watch the video to learn what is it.

Subscribe to stay in touch, and comment below with your ideas on the matter.

This is a message to myself. I think it can help you determine whether it's worth listening to someone or not.

Comment below and share your own answers.

It happens to all of us. We are going about our business and then we noticed some thing aren't happening the way they should.

Someone is always late, a process is flawed, an individuals continues to ignore your messages, etc.

What do you do?

If you are like me, you complain a little, bring it up to the responsible party and then wait for it to be fixed. You did your job, right?

I beg to differ.

Listen in and comment below what thoughts come to mind.

The first time I got fired, I was forced to evaluate what I was doing with my life and how was it possible to fail when I was following what others called "best practices."

I doubted myself. I lost my confidence. I was afraid I would never get it back.

Thankfully, I figured out what I was missing and started implementing these 2 concepts that helped me regain my confidence, go against the grain, and chart a new course for myself.

We spend a lot of time building systems and checks and balances to ensure someone gets the job done on time and as expected.

There's a simpler way to do this...

Comment below what methods have you used and which one has been the most effective

#Thoughts and #Prayers is a common phrase given the latest tragedies in gun violence.

What's interesting about this approach is that posting it on social media is not necessarily equal to taking action to address the problem.

We seem to have a tendency to believe that by sharing something, we have done our job and fixed the issue.

Taking meaningful action involves more than that.

Comment below with your insights about this topic.

This is one of the mistakes I made when I started leading. It's the lowest level of influence as a leader and it's effectiveness doesn't last much longer than a few months.

Comment below if you have ever said "She is a decent leaders but I wouldn't go to war for her."

I have experienced it. I have heard many others say it.

Expanding on yesterday's topic, I wanted to share 2 ways I used to delegate tasks.

Comment below what has worked for you or what do you keep struggling with.

Most will want to say they won't do that but the fact is that every leader had to go through this phase.

I haven't met a leader who didn't do this. Many won't admit it was a mistake but it won't change the fact they did it.

Let me know if it happened to you when leading a team, a project, a school assignment, or a volunteer group.

To receive this message in your inbox, send me an email to hello@juanononecoaching.com

Have you noticed a change in your personality depending on your circumstances.

In business terms, they talk about wearing different hats.

Well,  in the DISC Method, the congruence of the personas helps determine the quality of your well-being.

Get your assessment at https://juanononecoaching.com/communicationtips

Continuing the DISC personality assessment overviews. Today is the day for those people to love to be the center of attention. They like popularity. The love making friends.

Get your summary sheet at Juanononecoaching.com/communicationtips plus the opportunity to meet 1x1 with me.

Enjoy this one and share in the comments what are you learning now.

In yesterday's video I shared about how to identify someones personality style by using their biggest fear as a benchmark.

Today, I give you a 2 question technique you can use to also identify their style. Whichever method you use, understand that it is not a foolproof method. There are ranges in the scale and there can be combinations of styles depending on the situation.

Nevertheless, having this tool at your disposal can save you a lot of heartburn from miscommunication.

There's a special offer for taking an in-depth assessment of your personality style at juanononecoaching.com/communicationtips that can tell you what are your strengths in a team environment, how to interact with others based on your style and give you an outline for a development plan.

Remember to download your cheat sheet at juanononecoaching.com/communicationtips also.

You have heard it many times, we are the average of the 5 people we hang out with the most.

This exercise is one I have to do in order to regain control of my agenda and set boundaries for relationships that weren't helping me.

Give it a try and comment below with your thoughts and findings.

I do this with coaching clients and it help them avoid getting lost in the details.

Try it out and let me know how well it works.

It can reduce stress, reset your focus, and restart your momentum.

Watch and comment below what you think.

I know this trap very well. I do it all the time. I sit down to resolve a problem and immediately focus on why each idea is not going to work.

Hours later, I'm still frustrated about having a problem and convinced there's no way to fix it because "I have tried everything!"

So here's a bulletproof way to fix your problems.

Send me a note or comment below with your solution after watching the video.

The idea and phrase I'm sharing with you today is one I have said several times in the last year or so.

Sometimes the turning point is a strong emotional event. Other times, it seems like it just blends in and slowly presents itself.

Nevertheless, it's something that seems to be a required step in your journey from here to there...from success to significance and fulfillment.

Comment below and let me know your "rock bottom" turning point.

I was inspired to do this some time ago but have been holding back on it out of fear.

Today, I give it my first try and see what comes out of my mouth.

Many experts share very little about their tough times. When they mention them, it's a high level overview that quickly transitions into a story of success.

I'd like an opportunity to read your reactions to this message in the comments below or with a direct message.

It's an idea I'm still processing. I heard it from Michael Neill in his book Supercoach.

Comment below to let me know what's your reaction to the idea.

The title is self-explanatory.

A few days ago, I had a nightmare. I lie. I was more like an upgraded version of past memories.

This is one of the most painful things to notice since I started this journey of self-employment.

It applies to you, too. Disregard at your own peril.

Comment below and let me know how you deal with this situation.

I continue to share the different activities included in this team assessment tool I use with clients when they are looking for a fun way to deal with their challenges.

Will you pay the price required to change?

Watch on to find out this engaging way to gather feedback from your team regarding your current challenges.

Schedule your session by visiting https://juanononecoaching.com/leadershipchallenge