Just a Moment with Mila

A few weeks ago, I gave you some strategies that you can take with you when you go on your healing journey. But this week, we are going to talk about some of the reasons why healing is hard to begin with. Let's be real: if healing was easy, everyone would do it. Let's discuss.

If you're anything like me, I can be quite anxious when it comes to being in relationships. Some of that is not thinking I'm worthy of the love I seek. Some of it is fear of rejection. Some of it is fear being abandoned. If, again, you're anything like me, there's one thing we all have in common: we don't take care of ourselves as beings the way we should. That's all going to change. Let's discuss.

It can be easy to take a situation you are dealing with, with a new/current partner and compare it to what you went through with your ex. Chances are, if the situation is less than positive and your new/current partner responds to the situation in a similar way as your ex, that can trigger you and make you want to run for the hills. Not so fast, though. Because that's not fair. Let's discuss.

The journey towards healing can be frustrating and disheartening, as there may be setbacks, unexpected obstacles, and even relapses. However, it's essential to understand that healing is not a linear process; it's a journey with ups and downs. Let's discuss.

Toxic work environments can have a significant impact on the mental and physical health of employees, as well as a company's productivity and turnover rates. It is important for companies to identify and address toxic environments through increased communication, accountability, and addressing the root causes of negative behavior. Let's discuss.

Social media has a significant influence on relationships, both positive and negative. There are many benefits, but there are also many challenges to maintaining healthy relationships online. It is up to individuals to manage their relationship with social media and ensure that they use it in a way that enhances their relationships rather than causes harm. Let's discuss.

Do you have a hard time with being expressive or vulnerable about your feelings and emotions? Do you shut people out when you feel yourself growing close to them? Do you avoid hard conversations or ones that may cause you to feel discomfort? If none of this is you, are you close to anyone who fits any of this? If you said 'yes' to any of these questions, you might be emotionally unavailable. Let's discuss.

We've all lied or withheld information from those we love. In those moments, we even lie to ourselves. If you've ever told someone you lied to them because you didn't want to hurt them or you didn't want them to worry, that in itself is a lie. There's always something deeper. Let's discuss.

Titles in relationship are important for various reasons, but they also cause a lot of anxiety in people for various reason as well. Clarity in where you stand is of the utmost importance, but titles require a whole different level of responsibility that having no title would. Let's discuss.

Nothing in this life comes easy. This is especially true for any sort of relationship. It takes effort to get it and even more effort to maintain it. It's work. But just because it's not easy doesn't mean that it's dysfunctional or unhealthy. Let's discuss.

We all want a relationship in which we feel safe and secure. But what should that look like? Let's discuss.

Women like myself have a hard time when people don't accept the help we offer, especially when it comes to people close to us or who we truly care deeply about. But when it comes to relationships, falling back and letting the man handle his business is the best thing we can do. And when the dust settles, we understand why. Let's discuss.

When you finally grasp a sliver of happiness, you don't have to tell everyone. I know some of people love to shout about their happiness from the rooftops. There's nothing really wrong with that. But you do deserve to keep a piece of your happiness to yourself. Let's discuss.

The saying is true: just because a person desires you, that doesn't mean that they value you. But you can (and should) have both. Let's discuss.

We've discussed self-sabotage on this show before, but not in this context. We haven't unpacked what it looks like when we do everything in our power to see our relationships fail before they even have a chance to turn into anything. And we haven't talked about why it happens or how to stop it. So...let's discuss.

Ever consider that one of the reasons we may have such a hard time finding ourselves in the types of the relationships that we truly want is because our standards are too high? This is gonna sound contradictory, but even though you should never lower your standards to be with your someone, you may want to ease up just a tad to be with your someone. Don't hurt me. Let's discuss.

People use the terms 'chemistry' and 'compatibility' interchangeably, but they actually mean two different things. You can have one without the other, but the one we should hold most dear, we tend not to. Let's discuss.

Whatever God shows you about your life and your purpose is for you. Nobody else really needs to know. Let's discuss.

There are lessons rock bottom can teach you that the mountaintop knows nothing about. Let's discuss.

Venting is a tricky thing. We have to be ever mindful of what we vent about, who we vent to, and why we vent. Sometimes we need to change our whole approach to venting altogether. Let's discuss.

Doing at least one thing each day to move you closer to the life you want can make such a huge difference. It can feel like it's taking forever, and that can sometimes make you want to quit. This is especially true when it's hard to see any part of what you're building come to life. But don't stop laying the bricks, no matter how long you think it's taking. You never know how close you are. Let's discuss.

In this Season 3 opener, I just wanted to encourage you all really quickly to leave all the bad things that happened last year in last year. 2022 was rough for all of us and we all made it through. Don't bring in the baggage. Just bring the lessons. Let's discuss.

As I close out season 2 of JAMWM, today's message is simple: be your own kind of happy. Let's discuss.

Whether it's a job, a relationship, a neighborhood, or a city/state, so many of us stay in situations and circumstances that don't serve us. We feel like we need to leave, but there's still something that holds us back. Join me as I discuss what holds us back and the signs to look for to know when it's time to leave.

For some of us, making and keeping friends has never been easy for us. And it's gotten even more difficult as we've gotten older for various reasons. Join me as I break down some reasons why it's hard to make friends and things to do/keep in mind as we go on the journey of developing new friendships.

You can be someone's biggest cheerleader, but if they aren't willing to go out there and give it their all, it doesn't matter. Let's discuss.

A lot of us won't say what it is that is bothering us or what we need because we're afraid of what it might lead to. We don't know of the other person will get angry or upset, so to avoid that from happening, we just don't say anything at all. That's not healthy. You have to learn how to address issues head-on without fear of the outcome. Let's discuss.

So many times, we get so frustrated with how long it's taking that we stop moving forward. When we stop moving, we don't realize that we could potentially be punking ourselves out of the promise because we're frustrated with the process. Don't punk out! Let's talk about it.

I have heard sayings like "everyone is not your assignment" and "you can't fix everything". Both of these sayings used to annoy me. But now I understand what these really mean. Let's discuss!

If you are in a season of transition or growth and it hurts, this is for you. This is for us. I know it's hard. I know it's uncomfortable. But you have to see it through. Let's talk about it.

We spend so much time discussing red flags to look out for when it comes to relationships that we often skip the green flags -- the good stuff that we should pay attention to. Join me as I discuss 12 green flags you could look for if you're either in a relationship or wishing to be in one.

So many of us abandon ourselves when it comes to asking for what we need. We do this in just about every "ship" we're in. We even do it to ourselves. But why? And how can we fix it? Let's discuss.

Emotions make you human and we all have them. We all have the right to feel them. But sometimes those emotions can take over when it comes to dating someone new. Take a listen as I do my best to give you some tips on how to manage your anxiety when in the newness of your dating experience.

Welcome to my OA meeting: Overthinkers Anonymous. If you are an overthinker like me, I hope you feel seen, heard, and understood with this episode. This one goes out to you. 

Dating is hard for everyone. Full stop. But when faced with a physical, mental, or emotional challenge that you can't do much about, it can become even more difficult. Let's talk about it.

Whether you've been with someone for a few months or a few years, heartbreak is painful. But all doesn't have to be lost. Listen as I talk about the things you can consider when dealing with a breakup/heartbreak and how these things can help you in the future regarding relationships.

You ever have those people in your life who never let you feel anything but happy or positive? They're always telling you to smile or stay strong or to not let things get you down. Perhaps you do it to yourself. I have news for you: you're not a robot. Feel how you need to feel. Let's talk.

We all have those moments when we feel so deep in despair that it can be hard to find reasons to smile and laugh. But I've learned, not only in my own experiences but in getting to know my favorite person, that even in the darkest of days and in the hardest of times, there's always a reason to laugh. Let's discuss.

A lot of us want certain things to happen in/for our lives and begin to feel like it's never gonna happen because it's taking so long. We begin to lose hope and our faith is tested. Let's talk about why that happens and what to do about it.

It's so easy for us to allow the negative things from our past and the bad experiences in our lives to set us back and keep us from moving forward. But you have the power to use what you've been through for the good. Let's discuss.

It's no secret that it has become increasingly difficult for single Black women to date and find love. But why is it so hard for us? After some asking around, as well as tapping into my own experience, here's what I've found. Take a listen.

A listener asked about my journey to coaching. By no means do I have all the answers and in no way do I have it all together. I am only speaking for myself from my own personal experiences thus far in the journey. I hope this helps.

A friend and listener asked me what it's been like for me when pivoting careers, as this is something she is currently experiencing. Here's my story.

If you're anything like me, you worry all the time. But again, if you're anything like me, you worry about the future -- the things that you cannot control. You worry about things that may or may not even happen. The thing is, when we're in a constant state of worry, it robs us of the right now. And it can be a hard habit to break. Let's discuss.

It can be hard to continue to do the things you really want to do or the things that have been placed in your heart to do when you don't feel like you have the support behind you. But as I was assured recently, I want to assure you that someone IS watching. And that one matters. Just because you haven't reached the masses doesn't mean you should discount the one. Let's talk about it.

When faced with difficult situations, you have two choices: you can react or you can respond. One involves emotions and impulse, while the other requires patience and logic. Let's talk about it.

Life is full of surprises. In an average day, a seemingly endless number of unexpected events can occur that might create stress, worry, and frustration. But instead of letting these negative emotions take over, what if you were to make a conscious decision to have a great day?

We barely had to time to process the mass murder took place at the grocery store in Buffalo, New York before another mass murder was committed not even two week later in Uvalde, Texas. In the years since Sandy Hook, what have we learned? What has changed? What have we done differently? I tried to put how I feel into words, so bare with me as I try to make sense of the senseless. 

Recently I experienced some serious racial gaslighting. Join me as I tell a condensed version of the story, as well as go into more detail about what gaslighting is, the signs, and what to do when you feel like you're being gaslit.

Everyone who knows me knows I fall a lot -- like, a lot! But it wasn't until my most recent fall that I realized that falling is full of lessons. Join me as I talk about what falling has taught and is continuing to teach me.