What Really Matters: Everyday Spirituality
By Karen Wyatt
What Really Matters: Everyday SpiritualityMar 16, 2022
Ep. 142 Part 11 Only Love is Eternal
In this concluding episode of the series on my grief travel through Italy I share some insights I gathered on a subsequent trip that introduced me to a doctor who became a saint. This episode includes:
- The life of Dr. Giuseppe Moscati who was later canonized as a saint
- Embracing the fact that death comes for everything and only love lasts
- Why I'm saying goodbye to this podcast for awhile
Ep. 141 Part 10 We're Here for Love and Grief
In this 10th episode in the grief travel series we visit the city of Sorrento and the ruins of Pompeii for the final novena prayer. This episode includes:
- The disappointment that comes from being attached to expectations
- The universality of loss and grief throughout time and space
- The inevitability of death and the need for self-forgiveness
Ep. 140 Part 9 Accepting Disappointment
In this 9th episode from the series on grief travel in Italy we travel to the beautiful city of Assisi and learn about the beloved St. Francis of Assisi. This episode includes:
- The story of St. Francis
- His message of love, simplicity and care for nature being usurped by commercialization
- How life is not meant to go according to our plans and we have to learn to surrender
Ep. 139 Part 8 Lifting the Weight of Guilt
In this episode of my ongoing series on grief travel through Italy I visit the village of Cortona Italy and learn how to carry the guilt that accompanies my grief. This episode includes:
- How an artist portrayed his grief in his paintings
- A patron saint who overcame guilt and shame to bring blessings to the poor and sick
- How nature can depict our losses and grief and inspire us to keep on
Ep. 138 Part 7 Finding Purpose in Grief
This episode is Part 7 of my ongoing series on grief travel through Italy. If you haven't done so already I recommend you listen to the previous 6 episodes first! Today we travel to Siena Italy where I came face-to-face with the depths of my grief. This episode includes:
- How Siena became "frozen" in time after the Black Death
- Finding peace in an ancient hospital chapel
- Wisdom from St. Catherine
Ep. 137 Part 6 The Healing Power of Nature
In this episode of my series on grief travel through Italy we journey to the Cinque Terre region, which is a stunningly beautiful collection of 5 small villages along the Ligurian coast. This episode includes:
- How nature reminds us to be fully present in the moment
- Nurturing the 5 senses can help us carry grief
- Why we need community to deal with death and dying
- Death brings darkness but the light is always still present
Ep. 136 Part 5 Grace and Growth
In part 5 of the series on my grief travel through Italy we visit more sites in the great city of Florence and learn about grace, gratitude and growth. This episode includes:
- The great flood of Florence
- The 5 gratitudes
- Sacred geometry at San Miniato
Ep. 135 Part 4: Rising from the Ashes
In part 4 of the ongoing story of my grief travel through Italy we arrive in Florence and learn about the history of the Renaissance which began in this beautiful city. This episode includes:
- How the Black Death influenced the birth of the Renaissance
- The remarkable expansion of consciousness that took place during the Renaissance
- Michelangelo and his sorrow
Ep. 134 Part 3 Grief is All Around Us
Part 3 of the grief travel story takes place in Trastevere, the Jewish Ghetto of Rome, and an island in the Tiber River. This episode includes:
- A funeral in one of Rome's oldest churches
- A 2000 year old bridge
- Heroism at a hospital during WW2
Ep. 133 Part 2 Light in the Darkness
Part 2 of this grief travel story takes place in Rome and at the Vatican. Be sure to listen to Part 1 if you haven't already! This episode includes:
- Learning about chiaroscuro
- The loving embrace of the Divine Feminine
- Losing my identity
Ep. 132 Grief Travel in Italy Part 1
In this episode I begin a series of stories from a trip to Italy I took several years ago that was "ruined" by grief. I'll share the amazing insights and lessons I learned on that journey over the next several weeks. This episode includes:
- The H1N1 influenza epidemic
- Getting lost in Rome
- The Novena inspiration
Ep. 131 Knowing vs Believing
In this episode I talk about the difference between knowing and believing when it comes to spiritual awareness and why that's an important distinction right now with what is happening in the world. This episode includes:
- The "knowing" that comes from consciousness-expanding experiences
- How to live from that knowing rather than regressing to tribal desires for vengeance and retribution
- Why we should be grateful and humble for the opportunity to see life through an expanded lens
- How to keep shining a light and radiating love when the world is falling apart
- The importance of maintaining a center of calmness and stillness in the midst of the world's darkness
Ep. 130 How Transformation Can Follow Tragedy
In this episode I discuss the history of a devastating earthquake in Lisbon in 1755 that I learned about on my recent trip to Portugal. The outcome of this tragedy reminded me that even the horrific wars that are taking place right now contain a tiny seed of hope for transformation. This episode includes:
- The devastation caused by the triple disaster in Lisbon in 1755
- How the entire world was affected by this disaster
- How the Age of Enlightenment was hastened by this event
- Why we need to carry all the pain of the world right now and still continue to spread love
Ep. 129 Wisdom of Tao: Life is a Paradox
In this episode we explore another theme present in the Tao of Death: life is a paradox. This episode includes:
- What does paradox mean
- How things tend to get worse before they get better
- Why things are not as they seem from the outside
- Surrender is necessary for spiritual growth
- We need to rise about fear of death to make a difference in the world
Get my latest books: The Tao of Death, Stories from the Dark Night and The Journey from Ego to Soul
Ep. 128 Wisdom of Tao: Love is the Greatest Lesson
In this episode the beautiful theme of love is traced through some of the verses of the Tao. This episode includes:
- How love is like water
- Why we need to focus on "being love"
- Only love will remain because it is the creative force of the Universe
- Choose love over fear
- Ultimately there is only love
Get my latest books: The Tao of Death, Stories from the Dark Night and The Journey from Ego to Soul
Ep. 127 Wisdom of Tao: The Middle Path
In this further exploration of The Tao of Death we look at another theme that runs throughout the text: finding the "middle path." This episode includes:
- Life is a mystery and you can't control it
- Everything has its own flow and balance
- The middle path leads to harmony and the integration of opposites
- Nothing is left out and nothing is wrong in the wholeness of creation
- How to "Be" on the middle path
Get my latest books: The Tao of Death, Stories from the Dark Night and The Journey from Ego to Soul
Ep. 126 Wisdom of Tao: The Importance of Inner Work
In this episode exploring the wisdom of the Tao of Death we'll take a look at another recurring theme: why you need to pay attention to your inner life (the inward arc.) This episode includes:
- Why healing the Shadow is essential for growth
- Forgiveness is an important part of inner work
- Why we need to "soften the hard edges"
- How to allow Soul to guide the ego
- A new definition of "success"
Get my latest books: The Tao of Death, Stories from the Dark Night, The Journey from Ego to Soul
Ep. 125 Wisdom of Tao: Suffering and Transformation
In this episode I begin exploring the major themes contained in the wisdom text The Tao of Death (an adaptation of the Tao Te Ching). The first is suffering as a path to transformation and I'll read some verses from the Tao that are based on this theme. This episode includes:
- Illness, suffering and loss can be messengers in our lives
- Why we need to strive to be in harmony with whatever life brings us
- How the difficulties of our lives actually shape our transformation and who we become
- Finding the "precious gems" that are hidden inside of suffering
Get my latest books here! (The Tao of Death, Stories from the Dark Night and The Journey from Ego to Soul)
Ep. 124 How to Develop Intellectual Humility
In this follow-up to last week's episode I focus in on intellectual humility, which is sadly lacking in our society today. This episode includes:
- What intellectual humility is and why it's needed right now
- The benefits of practicing intellectual humility
- How humility can improve relationships and heal some of the polarization in our society
- How to develop your own intellectual humility so you can embrace mistakes and have a growth mindset
Ep. 123 The Importance of Humility
Today I'm talking about humility and why it largely seems to be missing in our society (especially in the field of medicine.) This episode includes:
- Why humility is not weak or passive (even though the ego believes it is)
- Why humility is an essential part of the inward arc of spiritual development
- 8 different types of humility
- Why we need to understand the workings of the ego before we can increases our capacity for humility
- The difference between humility and false modesty or low self-esteem
Ep. 122 Why Loneliness is Necessary for Spiritual Growth
In this episode I'm revisiting the topic of loneliness from a slightly different perspective: many spiritual teachers say it's a necessary part of our path. This episode includes:
- Why we need to embrace loneliness rather than try to fix it
- How loneliness reaches a peak at the beginning of the inward arc
- Pema Chodron's concept of "cool loneliness" and how to recognize it
- How connecting with our higher selves helps us remember that we are connected to all things
- Why gaining integral consciousness allows us to relate to people who are very different from us
Ep. 121 Revisiting the Four Agreements
In this episode I'm sharing some insights from my recent re-reading of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This amazing little book was pivotal for me during the earlier stages of my spiritual growth and the lessons it contains are still valuable. This episode includes:
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don't take anything personally
- Don't make assumptions
- Always do your best
Ep. 120 What Success Means to the Soul
As a follow-up to the previous episode we're talking about success again but this time from the perspective of higher consciousness. This episode includes:
- Why we need a higher view of success to balance out the ego-driven perspective
- How to tell the difference between the ego and the higher self
- How to reframe your own definition of success to include both perspectives
- Why a "successful" spiritual journey may look like a failure to the ego and material world
Ep. 119 What Determines Success in Life?
In this episode we'll look at an interesting study and questionnaire that help us sort out the factors in our lives that have contributed to our "success" in society. This episode includes:
- Society's definition of success
- Paul Piff's Monopoly Study and what it tells us about our understanding of success
- Some factors that contribute to wealth inequality
- How economic disadvantages can affect every other aspect of life
- The American Dream questionnaire
- How to use small changes to make a difference
Ep. 118 Finding AWE in Times of Stress
In this episode I revisit the experience of Awe, which I previously discussed in Episode 96. There is a new study available that talks about how healthcare providers (and everyone) can experience awe even in little everyday moments and receive the same benefits. This episode includes:
- The definition of awe as an emotion
- The benefits of experiencing awe
- How the awe study was conducted
- A 3-step process for finding awe in the midst of stress
- Why it's important to remember that there is awe in every moment
Ep. 117 How to Work Through Deep Resentments
In this episode I talk about resentment as a form of resistance toward "what is" and why it's important to heal our old wounds if we want to move toward enlightenment. This episode includes:
- Why body work is essential for healing old trauma
- How to connect the dots between cognitive work and body work when looking at old buried pain and resentment
- Why it's important to be curious about our resentments and not judgmental
- The need for self-compassion in our healing process
- Using resentment as an ally in identifying where more work is needed
Ep. 116 What is Required for Transformation
This episode is a follow-up to last week's discussion on whether or not people can actually change (listen to that episode first.) I discuss what it takes to keep growing and changing throughout life. This episode includes:
- Why we have to be willing and able to look at our past if we want to change
- The necessity of taking responsibility for our wounds, emotions and triggers and avoiding the trap of victimhood
- Why we need to both find an "omega point" for ourselves and be an omega point for others
- Why forgiveness is a requirement for growth
- How to work on managing the ego in order to expand to integral consciousness
Ep. 115 Can People Actually Change?
In this episode I'll look at how we change and grow and why it's important to have role models of growth and transformation in our society. This episode includes:
- The four predominant levels of consciousness of people in our society
- Why it's harder for people at lower levels of consciousness to change
- Why the traditional level actually resists and stifles change
- Why it's essential to understand and manage the ego in order to grow to integral consciousness
Ep. 114 Bringing More Kindness to the World
In the episode I talk about why we each need to intentionally behave with kindness to counteract some of the negativity in our society. This episode includes:
- The benefits of kindness for our own health and wellbeing
- How both kindness and unkindness are contagious
- Kindness is a self-reinforcing habit
- Practices to prepare for showing more kindness
- The random acts of kindness experiment
Ep. 113 The Butterfly Principle
I'm back after taking a week off for self-care! Today I'll share some thoughts about the life cycle of a butterfly and why it's a good analogy for our own process of growth and change. This episode includes:
- The small world of the caterpillar
- Why the "chrysalis phase" of change is so unsettling and even frightening
- Why all the stages of the cycle are necessary in order for the butterfly to emerge
- Tips for surviving the chrysalis phase of dissolution and falling apart
- Remembering to let things unfold with their own timing and not try to rush through the changes
Ep. 112 What Does it Mean to be a Good Person?
In this episode I share my ongoing journey of self-healing as I look at my old beliefs about what it means to be a good person that primarily came from my early religious training. This episode includes:
- How our old beliefs can stay hidden even as we grow to higher consciousness
- Why we need to recognize and heal old beliefs that may be harmful to us
- How expanding our consciousness helps us see more perspectives and hold more love and also pain
- Why growing to higher consciousness consists of transcending our previous level and also including the good from that level
- My new definition of what it means to be a good person
Ep. 111 Learning to be "Bully-Proof"
In this episode I talk about learning how to manage our own internal "self-bullying" in order to be more resilient and better protected from bullying behaviors by other people. This episode includes:
- The bullying tactics of the wounded ego
- How to recognize our triggers
- Why being triggered is a good thing for our growth in consciousness
- Finding compassion for our wounded egos
- Stopping the "shame cycle" that occurs after being triggered
Ep. 110 When Things Get Worse Before They Get Better
This episode continues my own exploration of getting ill at the same time I released my podcast episode on grief after my father's suicide death. I've been gleaning a lot of wisdom from my own time of illness and recognizing why sometimes things get worse before they get better. This episode includes:
- The metaphor of a backdraft occurring after releasing old painful feelings
- How to get through the challenge of things getting worse
- Why we need to accept the journey however it unfolds without attachment
- Using the self-compassion practice to plant seeds of kindness for ourselves
Get my latest book The Journey from Ego to Soul
Ep. 109 Self-Compassion During a Time of Illness
As I record this I am dealing with a case of shingles so I'm talking about how I'm using self-compassion practices to cope. I recently released an episode on End-of-Life University Podcast about my grief after my father's suicide death, which was very stressful to create and intimidating to publish, so I think this illness is part of the aftermath of that stress. This episode includes:
- Tara Brach's RAIN practice for self-compassion
- Recognize symptoms
- Allow whatever is happening right now
- Investigate how my mind reacts to illness
- Nurture my body and be kind to myself
- Finding gratitude for all the work my body and mind do for me
Ep. 108 Reparenting Ourselves After Childhood Trauma
In this episode I share some new insights I've found about the value of "reparenting" ourselves while we are also parenting our own children or grandchildren. This is powerful work that can lead to deep healing. I'm drawing on the work of ShellyRobinson.com so go there to check it out. This episode includes:
- How reparenting might be work that we continue throughout our lives
- How children and grandchildren can act as mirrors for our own trauma and wounds
- Five steps of reparenting (according to Shelly Robinson)
- How being triggered shows us where we need to do some healing and reparenting work
- Why self-forgiveness is essential for growth and healing
Ep. 107 Loneliness and Community on the Spiritual Path
In this episode I share some thoughts on why the spiritual journey to expanded consciousness can cause us to feel lonely and to miss the tight-knit religious communities we may have been part of at an earlier time in our journey. This episode includes:
- The health benefits of being part of a supportive community
- Why our spiritual growth may require us to be lonely at times
- Finding "micro-community" through little moments of connection with others
- How to see humanity as our ultimate community
Ep. 106 Feeling Good About Getting Older
I'm recording this episode the day after my birthday and sharing some thoughts about growing older and what I'm doing to shift my attitude about my age from negative to positive. This episode includes:
- Why the term "elderhood" is better than "old age"
- The important health benefits of a positive attitude toward aging
- Traits that predict "successful" aging
- The most helpful habits for a healthy elderhood
- 4 keys to longevity
Ep. 105 How Can I Feel "Good Enough"?
In this episode I talk about breaking the cycle of shame and unworthiness that leaves us feeling like we are never good enough. This episode includes:
- We are hardwired to compare ourselves to others and to fear rejection
- How a 4 year old boy is teaching emotional intelligence to adults on social media
- Why we need to develop self-acceptance and find happiness in being ordinary
- The affirmations that will help us accept ourselves: everybody makes mistakes and I'm learning
- How to use the "little bit farther" method to make tiny steps of progress
- Why helping a stranger might be the best way to feel good enough
Ep. 104 Mourning the Wounds and Losses of Childhood
In this episode we continue to look at childhood wounds and the idea that healing may require us to grieve and mourn the losses that have occurred. For me this seems to be a missing piece of my healing journey and I hope it resonates with you as well. This episode includes:
- Why we may not be able to heal if we don't recognized our grief from childhood
- William Worden's Four Tasks of Mourning
- How to heal using the 3 keys: Name It, Reclaim It, Reframe It
- Telling a new story about your precious life
"The broken heart that has been healed through grieving is stronger and more loving than the one that has never been injured." - Pete Walker
Ep. 103 Healing Childhood Shame
This week I'm continuing my mini-series on childhood trauma by talking specifically about shame, which many of us carry into adulthood. This episode includes:
- The difference between guilt and shame
- How shame has been used as a tool by parents, teachers, religious leaders, other adults in our lives, and even our peers
- How shame undermines our belief in ourselves to grow and change
- 3 dysfunctional responses to the pain of shame
- Steps to engage with shame and heal it
Ep. 102 Tools for Healing Our Trauma
In this second episode on trauma we explore more tools for healing, whether we've experienced trauma in our own lifetimes or are carrying ancestral trauma. This episode includes:
- How ancestral trauma gets handed down from generation to generation
- Top down vs bottom up approaches to dealing with trauma
- Why everyone is carrying some type of trauma in the form of unhealed emotional wounds
- Our mental health system is not currently doing well with recognizing the impact of trauma on emotional health
- How to self-regulate your emotions
- Tips and tools for healing trauma
- Dr. Jamie Marich Resources
Ep. 101 Healing Our Childhood Trauma
In this episode I share some insights I've had recently from reading Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's book The Body Keeps the Score. This has been a powerful learning experience for me and I'm happy to share it with you because I now realize that we all have trauma from the past that we need to heal. I'll share more on this next week. This episode includes:
- The ACE Study and the implications of childhood trauma on our physical, emotional, and mental health
- Mainstream medicine continues to ignore the role of trauma in illness
- How the imprint of trauma changes how we think and behave
- 4 steps toward recovery of our wholeness
Ep. 100 The Power of Our Connections Through Time and Space
In this 100th episode of the podcast I talk about my experience with being still and silent last week as I dealt with a case of laryngitis. This led me to ponder the value of this podcast and to recognize our connectedness and how a podcast might help us recognize the energetic tapestry that we are all weaving together. This episode includes:
- Synchronicities that continue to inspire to create content
- The stories that connect us all
- Why it's important to recognize the bonds between us and the continuing bonds with loved ones who have died
Ep. 99 What Does it Mean to "Find Meaning" in Our Challenges
In this episode I talk about the resistance in some parts of our society to the idea of finding meaning in the difficulties of life. I share my own journey of discovering meaning in life and how I now perceive the tragedies that have happened in the past. This episode includes:
- What people from 17 different countries find meaningful in life (according to a survey)
- How we humans are wired to find meaning in our existence before we die
- Why Viktor Frankl said that people who found meaning were more likely to survive in concentration camps
- Why some people reject the idea that life's challenges could have meaning
- How to see the magic and miracles of existence without being a magical thinker
Ep. 98 Finding Love in All the Hopeless Places
In this episode recorded on Valentine's Day I share some stories about love and how we can continue to find the light of love even in times of despair and hopelessness. This episode includes:
- How an anonymous gift can change everything.
- How we found love in a nursing home.
- The "many-splintered" nature of love.
- Self-compassion practice for opening to the light of love.
- The Lovingkindness Blessing.
Ep. 97 How to Grow in Wisdom
In this episode I share some thoughts on how we can actually become wiser as we go through life and why we need to utilize our own life experiences to help us grow. This episode includes:
- The difference between knowledge and wisdom
- The "3 pillars" of wisdom
- Why external sources (like sacred scriptures) are not enough to help us grow in true wisdom
- The inward journey requires us to examine the pain of life
- The 7 lessons that have formed my "wisdom path"
Ep. 96 Why We Need More AWE in Our Lives
In this episode I discuss my own longing for awe-inspiring experiences in my day-to-day life and what I've learned about AWE through my studies. This episode includes:
- The definition of awe
- What creates an experience of awe for us
- The 8 benefits of awe experiences
- The most common source of awe as shown in studies
- The daily A.W.E. practice that can remind you to be open to living in awe of the universe
Ep. 95 How to See Beyond Our Own Perspectives
In this podcast I share some insights I got while reading Ann Neumann's book The Good Death. She tells a story about meeting with a disability advocate who is adamantly opposed to medical aid in dying and how they became friends over time by listening and understanding each other's perspective. Taking more than one perspective is part of our growth to higher consciousness and I share some steps to take:
- Understand how your own "lens" has formed throughout your life
- Be willing to broaden your perspective beyond the one way you are accustomed to looking at the world
- Let go of anger toward others who disagree with you
- Define carefully the terms you use in stating your position
- Listen first with an open heart
- Be curious about the other person and how their "lens" came to be
- Seek to understand the pain and fear that have shaped them
Ep. 94 Are We Going to Die ... Or Not?
In this episode I talk about contrasting messages observed on social media: "You're going to die" vs "There is no death." It's important to look at the levels of consciousness from which these two seemingly opposite statements arise in order to see how they could both be true at the same time. This episode includes:
- How people on both sides of this discussion dislike my use of "end of life"
- What end of life means to me as an umbrella term
- What it means to "die before we die"
- Why we need to embrace physical death even if we believe that consciousness persists after death
- What we learn from death and dying and why it's important
- Why we need to help the ego accept death (rather than foster more denial of death)
Ep. 93 What is Most Precious to You?
In this episode I share some advice that was offered by a teacher of astrology for the coming year. She recommended that we each figure out what is most precious to us and remember to live by that and bring it to the world this year. For me, what is most precious is also "what really matters" and the "ultimate concern" of our lives. This episode includes:
- How I first discovered "what really matters" in my life at age 16
- Why we need to have a core principle or value that informs and illuminates our path
- How to figure out what is most precious to you
- Why love is my core value
- Why I focus not on pushing more love out to the world but on removing my inner blocks that prevent love from flowing