CAMPUS: A Novel That Wants to Be a Musical

Sheeeeeee's baaaaaaacccccckkkkkkk!!!!!! After a long hiatus, Katie Winkler is back with her 14th Episode of CAMPUS: A Novel That Wants to Be a Musical. In this episode, we find out a little bit about one of the fairy god teachers--Ms. McBride, a math teacher. We find out about Ms. McBride's first love, her philosophy professor, Dr. Paul Temple, who ends up not being exactly the man of Ms. McBride's dreams. Well, he had been very much the man of her dreams until, you know, he wasn't anymore because he turns out to be pretty much a rotter. Anyway, listen to the episode, and you will know what I mean. 

Thanks to Anchor for the background music and to my good friends Angela Kantola and Don Wallace for their continuing support despite my long hiatus. Thank you friends!!! 

Welcome to Episode 12 of CAMPUS: A Novel That Wants To Be a Musical. Remember Melody, the young gnome teacher who wants to be a fairy godteacher someday? You get to sit in on her first class. Things don't seem to go all that well. Or do they? You be the judge. 

Cory, the vampire, tries to ensnare the innocent Jack Sprat at the Spooky Cat Head Biscuits concert, but the fairy godteachers are having none of it. 

Credits

CAMPUS: A Novel That Wants to Be a Musical by Katie Winkler 

 "Zombify Me" Lyrics by Katie Winkler, Music by Creo (licensed under CC 4.0 International--https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode)

Background Music--Main segment--"When the Dead Wake Up" by Robert Abraham (licensed under CC 4.0 International--https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode)

Other background music provided by Anchor

Episode art--Photo by Jeroen Visser via Freeimages.com

WARNING! More sensitive listeners, and those with a limited sense of humor, may want to go back and listen to all the episodes so they have a firm understanding that this is a satiric work and makes full use of hyperbole and sarcasm. You might also want to watch The Producers, the one with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder, on your favorite streaming service.

In this episode, Dr. DAG has a "meeting" with Ms. Subowski and discusses, among other things, the online quiz about learning styles that has determined he is a tactile learner (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

In this episode, we meet the villain of the piece. Oh, you thought it was Dr. DAG? What a lightweight! He's nothing compared to Mr. M., who isn't too pleased that the fairy godteachers have chosen Jack and Jill as their proteges and sprinkled them with fairy dust. He has his own plan for them, and it doesn't include enlightenment or inspiration. 

The fairy godteachers share stories of the moments when they understood what it meant to study the liberal arts and knew teaching was their destiny. Could it be that some are not inspired by their song? Oh, yes, yes, it could. 

In this episode, Jack Spratt, the All-American Boy, meets Ms. McBride, fairy godteacher and math instructor. We are also introduced to the third fairy godteacher of the novel, Brian Teasdale--drama instructor, who enters our story disguised as one of the ragged, downtrodden, burned-out teachers who sing "Down at the Diploma Mill."  

This episode takes us back to the stage on the quad at CAMPUS during Club Rush/Advising/Registration Day. We hear the Dog Hobble Trio singing "Get a Job" and the Blue Ridgebacks performing "Hymn to Stem." Oh, we also get a little history about the Moon-Eyed People of Appalachia. 

Happy Valentine's Day!!! I have a special Valentine's day treat for you this episode with a tender love story between a gnome named Gus and a dwarf named Galaxi. I am so excited about it. Also, you will meet, indirectly, Mrs. Whittaker's fairy godteacher colleagues, Mrs. McBride, math teacher, and Mr. Teasdale, drama teacher. You will also be introduced to the members of the Dog Hobble Trio: Gus, whom I've already mentioned, along with Ralph, a human, and Ben, a boojum. But the very best part of this episode is you get to hear my daughter sing, in Irish Gaelic!!!! Pretty cool, huh? 

In this episode, we meet Jill, a single mother trying to make life better for her daughter. Harrassed by vampire Cory Hollifield III, Jill is aided by fairy godteacher Mrs. Whittaker. 

This week, we see more of Dr. DAG, don't you just love him, and Mrs. Subowski, don't you just love her, who are joined by the Fightin' Fundies who sing their fighting fundies song. We also hear from Jack Spratt who has come to register for classes at the CAMPUS and sings "All-American Boy" to his weeping mother, to comfort her. 

Remember! This is a social satire. It is totally fiction. The places are not real, and the characters bear no resemblance to any person, living or dead.  I am an old English teacher who wanted to write a novel and a musical at the same time in the middle of a global pandemic. I don't know what in the heck I'm doing, but I'm too old to wait around, so I'm just doing this thing, okay. I plan on getting better as I go along. I know it's weird. And the music sucks--that's kind of the point in this chapter, but it will get better, too. I promise. Just stick with me, and you'll see, or rather, hear what I mean.. 

Hello! My name is Katie Winkler, and I've written this strange thing that I know will never find a home with a traditional publisher. It's just too weird. So, I've decided that it is going to be a podel instead (a podcasted, serialized novel). CAMPUS is a social satire, a story about higher education in the South, born out of the joys and frustrations of almost thirty years of teaching, twenty-five in Western North Carolina. It is completely fiction unless you believe in gnomes, fairies, vampires, trolls, Moon-faced people, boojums (Sasquatch-type people), the Moth Man, zombies, and various other creatures found in and outside of Appalachian lore. The town of Dog Hobble, where you will find the Enchanted Campus, doesn't really exist. I don't think so anyway.