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From One Caregiver to Another

From One Caregiver to Another

By Kay Coughlin
As family caregivers, we can easily feel trapped by the traditional definition of being a “good” caregiver. And we can feel so alone, overwhelmed by the responsibilities caregivers are “supposed to” handle. What if none of that has to be true, though? In “From One Caregiver to Another,” your host Kay Coughlin will talk straight to caregivers, but this is NOT about being a better caregiver - it's about becoming the person you were meant to be. For more information, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net.
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26. The story family caregivers are "supposed to" step into, even if they feel trapped by it
There are powerful stereotypes that family caregivers inherit when we agree to become caregivers. We don’t realize how strong they are until our lives become something we didn’t ask for. And then we wake up one day and don't recognize ourselves any more. In this episode, Kay Coughlin names some of the biggest caregiving stereotypes that she has identified. Why? Well, she wishes somebody would have given her this language when she was getting started as a caregiver. She could feel the stereotypes all around her and could feel the pressure to perform, but just couldn’t put a name on what was happening. Which meant she didn’t know to question the stereotypes either. Spoiler alert: none of these has to be true, no matter what the people around you say. Full transcript of this episode is available at FacilitatorOnFire.net/Episode26. The From One Caregiver to Another podcast isn’t about being a better caregiver. Plenty of resources are available for people who want that information. This podcast is about becoming the person you really want to be - a person who also happens to be a caregiver. Contact Kay by email (Kay @ FacilitatorOnFire.net) or find more information at FacilitatorOnFire.net/LearnMore. To get almost-daily doses of straight talk for caregivers who want to get free of the stereotypes, follow Kay on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire).
19:30
February 24, 2021
Message 25 - You can write your own story. I believe in you.
In this last episode of the season, Kay Coughlin talks about her wish for all caregivers: that we would know and believe that we can write our own story. We don't have to accept the definition of being a "good" caregiver that somebody else chose for us. This season was created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who feel trapped by the traditional definition of being a caregiver. If you would prefer to read the messages form this season, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). Starting with the next episode, the podcast will be called "From One Caregiver to Another." If you are looking for Kay's book, "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind," you can find it here.
06:39
January 30, 2021
Message 24 - Possibility Mindset: Persistence, Patience and Peace
In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about what it looks like to have a possibility mindset and cultivate persistence, patience and peace. This season of short episodes was created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into thte traditional definition of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. you can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's book "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind," you can find it here.
09:29
January 29, 2021
Message 23 - Self-care is selfish. What if that's OK?
In this episode, Kay Coughlin challenges the idea that it's wrong to be selfish and want self-care. Even caregivers are allowed to believe in having self-care. This season of short episodes was created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional definition of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for the "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" (especially to help you see what beliefs you have about self-care and selfishness), you can find it here.
06:24
January 28, 2021
Message 22 - What if you're not behind?
In this episode, Kay Coughlin challenges the conventional idea that we are "behind." What if that's just a thing we say, and what if it's in the way of seeing possibilities? This season of short episodes was created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit in the traditional defintion of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for the free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," you can find it here.
04:15
January 27, 2021
Message 21 - "You can't teach old dogs new tricks." Right? Wrong!
In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about the harmful myth of believing you - or any human - is too old to learn and grow. This season of short episodes was created by Kay in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit in the traditional definition of being a "good" caregivers. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there on or Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for the free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" mentioned in this episode, you can find it here.
05:34
January 26, 2021
Message 20 - 15 Things to Say to Encourage Yourself
In this episode, Kay Coughlin gives a list of 15 very short and meaningful things you can say, any time you need encouragement. This season of short episodes was created by Kay in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional definition of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's book "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind," you can listen to chapter one here and buy the book here.
02:51
January 25, 2021
Message 19 - What if your so-called issues are really just your starting points?
In this eposide, Kay Coughlin takes some of the fear out of having "issues." All humans have them, and what if learning to notice them can be a powerful tool to help you live the life you really want to live? This season of short episodes was created by Kay in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional defintion of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for the "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," you can find that here.
06:39
January 23, 2021
Listen to Chapter One from "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind"
In this episode, Kay Coughlin shares chapter one from her book, "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind." This season of short episodes was created by Kay in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional defintion of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you would like to purchase Kay's book, you can find it here. If you are looking for the "2020 Caregiving in the U.S." report, click here.
13:23
January 22, 2021
Message 17 - What if there's more than one right choice?
In this episode,  Kay Coughlin goes on a little bit of rant about how believing there's only one right choice teaches us not to see possibilities. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional definition of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails there any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's book "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind," you can find it here.
06:42
January 21, 2021
Message 16 - How to have hope again
In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about the truth of where hopelessness comes from, and how to turn it into hope. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January 2021 to help family caregivers who are tired of trying to fit into the traditional definition of being a "good" caregiver. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's book that was mentioned in the episode, "From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind," you can find it here.
04:25
January 20, 2021
Message 15 - It's OK to feel whatever you're feeling. Really.
In this episode, Kay Coughlin tells the truth about feelings: they are all OK to have and to feel. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January 2021 to help family caregivers who have dreams that go beyond their caregiving responsibilities. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's book that was mentioned in the episode, From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind, you can find it here.
04:03
January 19, 2021
Message 14 - Everybody thinks they know what you can and can't do. They are wrong.
In this episode, Kay Coughlin shares the second part of the story about recovering from her car accident. Her doctor tried to tell her that she was going to walk with a limp for the rest of her life, and Kay confused him by answering, "I don't do limitations." This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January 2021 to help family caregivers who have dreams that go beyond their caregiving responsibilities. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," you can find it here.
06:31
January 16, 2021
Message 13 - Don't Judge the Size of Your Dreams, Big or Small, They All Matter
In this episode, Kay Coughlin shares part of her story about how recovering from a car accident meant having "small" dreams. Judging the size of our dreams holds caregivers back from living a fulfilling life! This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January 2021 to help family caregivers who have dreams that go beyond their caregiving responsibilities. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," you can find it here.
07:08
January 15, 2021
Message 12 - Choose What You Feed With Your Energy
We all have to make choices about what we give our energy to every day. In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about how these choices feed the rest of your life. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers who have dreams that stretch beyond their caregiving responsibilities. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," you can find it here.
04:55
January 14, 2021
Message 11 - "Don't take the help unless you really need it" is an idea that holds us back
In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about the very common belief that tells us "Don't take the help unless you really need it" and how this belief keeps caregivers from living a fulfilling life. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created in January of 2021 to help family caregivers. If you would prefer to read these messages, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021 and sign up to receive the emails any time. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" for caregivers, you can find it here.
06:14
January 13, 2021
Message 10 - Living a "Balanced" Life is a Myth
The idea that we can live a balanced life - and that it's something we should strive for - is a pop culture darling. But it's a myth. In this episode, Kay Coughlin opens up about her own battle with balance, and how spending time working on balance keeps us from taking action toward our dreams. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created for family caregivers in January of 2021. If you would prefer to read these messages, sign up to receive the series any time at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" for caregivers, you can find it here.
06:14
January 12, 2021
Message 9 - Jumping to Conclusions is Our Favorite Exercise, and It's Also Our Favorite Blocker of Possibilities
What's the big deal about jumping to conclusions? In this episode, Kay Coughlin uses a story about a farmer, her son, and their horse, to talk about why our brains like to jump to conclusions, and why that's not really very helpful. This series of short episodes is recordings of an email series Kay created for family caregivers in January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, sign up any time at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there or on Instagram (@FacilitatorOnFire). If you are looking for Kay's free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" for caregivers, you can find it here.
04:39
January 11, 2021
Message 8 - Guilt. Rinse. Repeat? Stop The Cycle!
One of the biggest issues for family caregivers is guilt. In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about why you don't have to feel guilty for feeling guilt, and how you get to choose whether or not it controls you and your life. This series of short episodes is audio recordings of an email series Kay created for family caregivers during January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, you can sign up any time at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there. In this episode, Kay refers to her free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet," to help you begin to notice what you are thinking WITHOUT judging yourself for it. You can find a link to it here.
04:36
January 9, 2021
Message 7 - Judgment is the Number One Blocker of Possibilities
It can be painful to take a good look at our lives because we have such a strong tendency to judge ourselves for what we find. Which makes judgment the number one possibility blocker of all. This series of short episodes is audio recordings of an email series Kay Coughlin created for family caregivers in January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, you can sign up any time at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there. If you are looking for Kay's free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" to help you begin to look at your life without judging yourself, you can find it here.
05:44
January 8, 2021
Message 6 - What to Unlearn So You Can See Possibilities
What are the things you need to unlearn before you can once again see possibilities? And where do you even start? In this episode, Kay Coughlin shares how to begin to notice your "possiblity blockers." This series of short episodes is audio recordings of an email series Kay created for family caregivers during January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, you can sign up any time at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there. In this episode, Kay refers to her free "Thought Download Cheat Sheet" so help you begin to notice what you are thinking WITHOUT judging yourself for it. You can find a link to the Cheat Sheet here.
03:19
January 7, 2021
Message 5 - Fear is loud, but it's a liar
Fear isn't usually an encouraging emotion, so why are we talking about it in this series? Becuase if you choose to be encouraged and see possibilities, it's highly likely that's going to bring up some fear for you. In this episode, Kay gives you two encouraging thoughts to know about fear, and reassures us that fear is normal. This series of short episodes is actually recordings of an email series Kay created for family caregivers during January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, please sign up at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there. If you'd like to read Kay's book, From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind, you'll find a link on the January Encouragement page.
04:28
January 6, 2021
Message 4 - Need Permission to See Possibilities? You Have It.
It's hard to see possibilities if you haven't given yourself permission to do it! In this message, Kay Coughlin talks about what she calls "possibility blindness" and how you can begin to get through it. This series of short episodes is actually recordings of an email series Kay created for caregivers during January of 2021. If you would prefer to read the text of these messages, please sign up at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there. If you are suffering from depression and/or anxiety, they don't have to stop you from seeing possibilities; to learn more about that, check out Kay's book, From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind.
04:33
January 5, 2021
Message 3 - Super Easy Tip to See Possibilities
It can be hard to remember that you can see possibilities, especially if you are a caregiver. In this message, Kay Coughlin tells you about one very quick way to remind yourself. And this isn't about being a better caregiver - you are already doing a good job with that! This is about YOU and seeing possibilities so you can be who you want to be in every area of your life. This series of short episodes is actually recordings of an email series Kay is creating for family caregivers during January, 2021. If you would prefer to read these messages, please sign up at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021. You can also connect with Kay there.
04:25
January 4, 2021
Message 2 - When Positivity Feels Too Far Away, Try Seeing Possibilities
The research on positivity and gratitude is real and it works. But what do you do when it feels forced to you? In this message, Kay Coughlin talks about the power of seeing possibilities instead. This series of short episodes is actually recordings of an email series Kay is creating for family caregivers during 2021. If you prefer to read these messages, please sign up to receive the emails at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021.
06:45
January 2, 2021
Message One - Resolutions Aren't Encouraging
Welcome to the “January Encouragement for Caregivers” series. Host Kay Coughlin is also a family caregiver, as well as a life coach for family caregivers. You can subscribe receive these messages in email format at FacilitatorOnFire.net/LearnMore. Or browse through all the messages at FacilitatorOnFire.net/January2021.
05:18
January 1, 2021
January Encouragement for Caregivers - Trailer
This is “January Encouragement for Caregivers” with Kay Coughlin. During the month of January, 2021, Kay is going to be publishing these recordings of an email series she created to help family caregivers. Kay is a caregiver too, and a life coach for caregivers, and she has learned that caregivers have a hard time seeing possibilities. There’s a big set of expectations people have, and a lot of assumptions people make, about caregivers. Mostly, these beliefs are that caregivers don’t have a lot of options - but they do have a lot of limitations. This boxes caregivers into living these lukewarm lives that are smaller than they really want. Kay is here to tell you none of this is true! It's just stuff we've heard all our lives, and it’s not real. We don’t have to believe for a second that caregivers have to buy into the idea that the only choice they have is to live narrow lives, limited to what other people think they “can” and “should” do. During this series, Kay is going to be leading caregivers to remember what it's like to be encouraged and see possibilities - and how they can have so much more in their lives, no matter what the people around them think! Recordings will begin airing on January 1. For more information about Kay’s work, or to sign up to receive emails, go to FacilitatorOnFire.net/LearnMore.
01:46
December 29, 2020