Pearls & Swine Podcast

The book of Job highlights misguided counseling of abuse victims rooted in black-and-white beliefs, instead of comprehensive biblical theology. Abuse victims are never at fault.

Zechariah warns of punishment for wicked leaders, calling them to repentance. God ultimately brings judgment and restoration through Jesus. Toxic leaders need to be warned.

It is a sin to fail to act against abuse. Unfortunately, it is all too common for bystanders in the workplace to stand by the toxic boss. Rather, standing up for the victims is essential, despite fears and pressures.

Over twenty years ago, my wife and I began considering how we could be used in the cross-cultural mission field. We made the move. It was our first experience with toxic leadership.

Peter's words for those struggling with abusive or controlling tendencies emphasize the need for inner transformation and repentance.

The Bible may not include the term "abuse" in some translations, but it uses various words that convey the concept, emphasizing the seriousness and destructive nature of abuse.

We receive grace through criticism. Sixteen-year-old Uzziah ascended to the leadership of Judah after his father’s demise and reigned righteously for much of his 52-year rule. However, his arrogance led to his ruin.

What happens down, deep within you when your subordinates, or even friends, begin to praise your holy name? Does your heart rise up and meet their praises with praises of its own? Does your heart congratulate itself and take on new proportions?

The dangers of ego and hypocrisy often come into play when titles are a means of image control. It takes the self-examination of motives to avoid toxic leadership and maintain genuine integrity and character within all our spheres of influence.

Jesus, after performing the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead, gained followers, threatening the authority of the chief priests and Pharisees. These abusive leaders plotted to both kill Lazarus and defame Jesus to maintain their control. They, like other abusive leaders, used a variety of tactics to suppress the truth and protect their image.

Christian leaders struggle maintaining their faith and integrity and King Asa of Judah is a good case study. Asa's godly leadership devolved into toxicity when he refused to trust God, instead depending on human support. Leaders need to constantly rely on God, acknowledge His paramount role, and heed advice from subordinates for continuous growth and strong leadership.

"The Toxic Boss Survival Guide" provides strategies for dealing with a malicious employer. The book presents a simplified approach to handling a hostile work environment, especially when faced with an abusive boss, but cautioning that hunkering down is not a long-term solution.

John 9 narrates the story of Jesus healing a man born blind on a Sabbath, challenging the rules of the Pharisees. The Pharisees' refuse to acknowledge their sin and Jesus makes clear their guilt remains as long as they think they see but don't.

The book, "The Toxic Boss Survival Guide," by Chappelow, Ronayne, and Adams, offers strategies for dealing with harmful bosses. It distinguishes between merely "bad" bosses and genuinely "toxic" ones who intentionally cause excessive harm serving their own agenda. The impact of toxic bosses includes increased staff turnover, loss of productivity, and stifling of creativity.

Abuse Trauma creates significant neurological disorder. The Church needs to be a place of safety and healing.

Those who make themselves complicit with toxic leadership will often do so due to fear of loss of prominence or privilage. A great example is found in Esther's story.

Mary's experiences with spiritual abuse in a mission organization and her marriage. In the mission, she faced sexual harassment and the mission's cover up. In her marriage, emotional and psychological abuse, which church elders blamed on her lack of submission to her husband.

Imprecatory Praying: It is a hard topic for Christians to wrap their heads around. When I normally speak of "imprecatory praying" I give qualifications. But Nehemiah, in a display of raw emotion, simply asks the Lord to destroy this enemy of God's people.

Read Mary's experiences with spiritual abuse in a mission organization and her marriage. In the mission, she faced sexual harassment and the mission's cover up. In her marriage, emotional and psychological abuse, which church elders blamed on her lack of submission to her husband.

TAKE TWO: A blogger argues that the focus on bad pastors and their abusive leadership in the Christian community might have been overdone and could overshadow the more common existence of good pastors. I disagree. Churches and Christians are called to judge inside their ranks and expose pastoral abuse when it occurs. The Bible calls for greater accountability for church leaders and warns against tolerating abusive practices in leadership.

This podcast explores the experiences of employees in Christian organizations working under toxic leadership, likening their situations to King David's pleas in Psalm 55. Despite the expectation of brotherhood and respect, they often face betrayal and manipulation.

"The Toxic Boss Survival Guide" provides insights into dealing with toxic bosses. It highlights the importance of managing one's mental attitude, energy, and resilience against the negative pressures generated by toxic bosses. The guide encourages individuals not to let a toxic boss dominate their thoughts, stressing that strength comes from oneself and one's faith.

My mother defended me always. She taught her children to defend the vulnerable all her days.

We are all dependent. We long for respect and love and relationship. But leaders need to depend on God, not our subordinates.

As we watch current events unfold we are seeing the results of narcissism in bold and deeply disturbing colors. The short-term positive gains by a toxic leader, I would suggest, can never overcome the long-term devastation caused by their focus on self and the devaluation of people and relationships. 

People were created to love God and their neighbor. They were created to care for and keep the world. To create flourishing. They were not created to sow power and reap abuse. Isaiah 5 challenges the toxic leadership of many Christian churches and organizations.

The podcast deliberates on the topic of abusive leaders who learned harmful behaviors from childhood. While some might give such individuals a pass due to their upbringing, the emphasis is that everyone is accountable for their actions, irrespective of their background. Abusers hold responsibility for their actions and must seek repentance and transformation. Christian teachings underscore this principle of individual accountability, urging people to reject oppressive behaviors, even if learned from authority figures or role models.

Will the "evil" God returns to my abuser be in this life (through trials and tribulations), the end of his life, or simply in the final judgment? He says, in faithfulness, he will "put an end to them."

When Rachel Black was struggling to make sense of her abusive pastor, there was no Christianity Today Mars Hill podcasts and seemingly no books on how an employee in a church is to respond to such disregard. All she knew was the "hairs on her arms stood up" as she sought to understand her boss.

She knew that God was calling her to be a missionary. His seeming commitment to Christ and a future as a missionary "touched" her and they were married. But he can no longer harm Lisa.

Abuse. Devastates. People. Not just the abuse that involves hitting. But abuse of all forms - emotional and spiritual.

Do you want to regain a relationship (reconciliation) with an abuser? Are you seeking to save your job or your marriage? This is a clarion call that the only way a relationship with an abuser will be saved is through his repentance. Hold the line!

Ever wonder what it means to be "godly?" Just consider the "chief of sinners." Maybe humility has something to do with it?

We may think when we are serving in a Christian ministry that there is a one-way road map when dealing with a self-serving and destructive ministry leader. However, there is more than one response to toxic bosses found in scripture.

It was a very good two years working for a mission college. Now they grieve the loss of what they had in Africa.

It is not unusual for those who have faced off with toxic leadership in the church to turn from the church. For those seeking a church of shalom, here are some hints.

How do I know I am working under a toxic boss? Just as it is seen in domestic violence, abuse in the workplace sometimes is unrecognizable by those who are caught in the fray.

There are a number of indicators of abusive leadership and it is important to be able to diagnose toxic leadership and root it out from your organization. Because it will kill your organization.

One of the most hideous beliefs crushing abuse survivors within our Christian communities is that the ratting out of abusive leadership in the home or workplace is gossip or slander.

“The exercise of authority is designed to serve the well-being of those under its care,” says Timothy Witmer. That seems basic to the Christian, and yet how many bosses view their leadership this way?

Godly grief = Repentance..."worldly" grief not so much.

The fear that many experience as they come face-to-face with an abusive leader can create different reactions. Psychologists often talk of “fight, flight, or freeze” reflexes. God has given us a built-in mechanism in our brain that helps us respond to dangerous situations – physical or emotional. An understanding of what is happening in the brain when faced with trauma is opening fascinating avenues of healing.

We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” according to David. However, we live in a time of strange in-betweenness! Trauma creates broken brains.

When Steven joined a large Christian parachurch organization he was excited to be in an influential position to spread God’s Word. He was warned that the organization was “dysfunctional” and it only took a short time for the dysfunction to catch up to him.

Forgive and forget. Don't judge. Remember we are all sinners. There are actually times when grace means to pronounce judgment and bring accountability. This podcast looks at Psalm 37 and David's challenging words to help survivors remember God is on their side.

We often focus on man's actions in determining whether genuine repentance has taken place. However, repentance is much more than this and our understanding of it will make a significant difference in how we look at those called to repentance after crushing others under their authority or power.

I have often heard survivors of abusive leaders in the home and workplace confess their sins and in some way suggest the abuse they are living under is somehow a necessary result of their sin. Do not be distracted by the wiles of the abuser as he projects his sin upon his victim.

I could tell in our discussion that Aaron was the dream employee. But, after two years of serving in the church, Aaron came home to his wife and shared with her, “I think Pastor Gene has a man-crush on me.”

"I soon realised something was wrong in my marriage, but I couldn’t put my finger on it." How Lisa, a missionary, found freedom from an abusive husband.

Susie's story is not uncommon. Her story is an example of a church work environment that is destructive and extraordinarily complex because highly authoritarian leadership is destructive and extraordinarily complex.