The Kindness Chef
By The Kindness Chef
The Kindness ChefMar 20, 2023
38. Kindness Recipe - Delectable no bake lighter kindness cheesecake - Sitting with Dr Kathryn Buchanan
I sit with Dr Kathryn Buchanan to talk about her research on wellbeing and kindness.
She is a lecturer in the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex.
She obtained her Bsc (Hons) in psychology from the University of Kent in 2008 before going on to complete a PhD at Royal Holloway, University of London. Her thesis primarily examined the contribution of two key behaviour types known as 'getting ahead' (agency) and 'getting along' (communion) to subjective wellbeing. Her research employs a mixed methods approach and continues to revolve around identifying factors that can lead to desirable societal outcomes such as increased happiness and the promotion of pro-social behaviours. Her recent work looks at people's reactions to seeing others' acts of kindness.
Buchanan, KE., Rolison, JJ., Jinga, I., Thompson, J. and Russo, R., (2022). Who tugs at our heart strings? The effect of avatar images on player generosity in the dictator game.. Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology. 75 (3), 377-389
Buchanan, K., Aknin, LB., Lotun, S. and Sandstrom, GM., (2021). Brief exposure to social media during the COVID-19 pandemic: Doom-scrolling has negative emotional consequences, but kindness-scrolling does not.. PLoS One. 16 (10), e0257728-e0257728
Churchyard, JS. and Buchanan, K., (2017). Which way to well-being: “More of the same” or “trying something novel”? The association of comfortable and experimental behavior styles to well-being. Personality and Individual Differences. 109, 35-43
Buchanan, K. and Bardi, A., (2015). The Roles of Values, Behavior, and Value-Behavior Fit in the Relation of Agency and Communion to Well-Being. Journal of Personality. 83 (3), 320-333
Buchanan, K. and Bardi, A., (2010). Acts of Kindness and Acts of Novelty Affect Life Satisfaction. The Journal of Social Psychology. 150 (3), 235-237
37. Tea Recipe - Joy in the bowl of tea recipe - Sitting with Lera Zujeva
This episode is all about TEA :) from the Kindness A to Z.
With my guest this month Lera Zujeva who is known as the tea whisperer. She has created T- lovers - drink tea, slow down, connect "experience life through tea".
Instagram - withtlovers
36. Nature Recipe - Blue Space Calm Recipe - Sitting with Dr Catherine Kelly
My guest this week Dr. Catherine Kelly is a geographer with research interests in sustainability, tourism and wellbeing. Her lecturing, research and practices cross a range of these broad categories. Catherine's research areas have varied over her academic career - starting with rural geography, then moving into the field of heritage studies and then tourism (cultural, heritage, wellness and sustainable tourism specifically); with a more recent emphasis on the importance of 'blue spaces' for human wellbeing. She is interested in the importance of water-based 'therapeutic landscapes' for physical, psychological and social wellbeing. Catherine's research also looks at how wellbeing can be used to advocate for personal relationships with the coast and its stewardship/environmental conservation. She is interested in access to the sea - in physical, social and cultural terms. Since joining the School of Business and Law, Catherine is also interested in the role of the Blue Economy in tourism development and sustainable business practices. She sits on the newly created UK national Blue Space Forum for the Environment Agency.
Studies are showing that being near water or blue space is an instant mood-lifter, helping us to be present, less stressed, and to feel more connected.
What is it about water that helps us come back to ourselves?
Many of us naturally gravitate towards the nearest blue space for our regular walks. There is an innate balancing quality that water brings – whether it's crashing waves, gentle oceans, distant horizons, or the reflections we see, water can bring on a meditative 'blue mind' state.
Join Dr Catherine Kelly, geographer, wellbeing practitioner and cold-water swimming enthusiast, as she explores the latest research into the physical, psychological and social factors that connect water and wellbeing and explains why water makes us feel better. Throughout the book you will also find exercises and suggestions to help you enhance your own wellbeing.
Blue Spaces - How and why water can make you feel better by Dr Catherine Kelly https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blue-Spaces-Water-Make-Better/dp/1789562848
Instagram @Bluespaces
ChillSquad www.corejourneys.com
WildBlue School www.wildbeachschoolbrighton.com
35. Design Recipe - Tiny Habits Mighty Recipe - Sitting with Ellen Khalifa
I sit with Ellen Khalifa from Wyzage for an insightful conversation on behaviour change for health-span and longevity. After practicing the Tiny Habits method for 10 years, she was inspired to get certified in 2019. Ellen spent decades as a content writer in healthcare -creating physician, patient and health education - but eventually realized that information is only useful if it helps us take action. She is certified as a UX writer to help wellness entrepreneurs create the most effective micro-content for digital products. Ellen is also active in the growing movement to create a new roadmap for the second half of life.
She helps people to extend the healthy middle span of life to" Teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart. " (Psalm 90:12)
She talks about the book called 'Rewiring Happiness' by Rick Hanson and that it is possible to go towards a growth mindset which is about progress not perfection.
She blends together design thinking, behavioural change and positive psychology. When you create habits using emotional intensity with celebration and positive thoughts you can start to rewire your brain. She was an anxious person and became less anxious with tiny steps of self-kindness, focusing on what she had established and celebrating that. She started to notice more moments in the day that she did regularly where she could easily add habits to.
She shares about her interest in the Modern Elder Academy, a school dedicated to helping you navigate midlife and beyond.
Her work is communication for behaviour change in the simplest easiest ways to make positive changes.
I invited Ellen to talk about D from the Kindness A to Z which is about DESIGN, how can we design our lives with more kindness.
"Tiny is really mighty" is what B.J. Fogg founder of Tiny Habits says this inspires the name of the Design Recipe- Tiny Habits Mighty RecipeAnchor what you want to do with something you already do, be specific, say after I brush my teeth I will...
Behaviour is a tiny thing you can start to do.
Celebration after you do the behaviour with a positive emotion to wire it into your brain.
34. Quietness Recipe - Quantum Kindness Recipe - Sitting with Pei-ming Sun/Sunny
I saw Sunny online talking about mid-life wellbeing on the Tiny Habit's platform. She talked about the importance of taking pauses throughout the day to be quiet and go within to take better care of ourselves. I invited her to create a recipe for Quietness to help you be kinder to yourself and others. This is a deep conversation where she shares more about her life experiences, and the changes she has made to be healthier.
She is the founder of SUNNY Life Solutions, was originally from Taiwan, and has lived in the USA for over 30 years.
As an EX- molecular biologist, a Tiny Habits certified coach, a DTM (Distinguished Toastmaster), an Amazon international bestseller author, and a lifestyle mentor, she is passionate to assist people over 40 to build their healthy lifestyle at the quantum level.
Sunny is building her online Community, 40-plus LOVE community https://sunnylifesolutions.com to connect with SUPER caregivers (who care and give too much!) over 40 who often deal with long-term toxic stress and too much self-doubt.
Sunny’s dream is to build a supportive, knowledgeable and affordable Co-Hort community that provides simple & effective life hacks for life transformation and business collaboration opportunities. Her tagline is: Come Alive to Impact More Lives.
In addition, Sunny offers personalized coaching programs and online virtual retreats to support her tribe members to effortlessly implement simple & effective life hacks into daily routine via her three Ps: Phototherapy, Positivity, and Perspectives
Sunny can be reached at https://linktr.ee/sunnylifesolutions for her services and various social media profiles.
My social connection:
www.linkedin.com/in/sunnylifesolutions Personal LinkedIn Profile
https://www.facebook.com/sunnylifesolutions Business FB Page
https://lifewave.com/sunnylifesolutions Lifewave Company Page
https://linktr.ee/sunnylifesolutions Main Connection Link
https://sunnylifesolutions.com Landing page for Sunny’s Mighty Community
33. Love Recipe - Syreeta's Love Sponge - Sitting with Syreeta Challinger
I sit down to speak with my guest Syreeta Challinger about Love from the Kindness A to Z:
"We understand self care and love as the most reliably transformative muscle of humanity and deeper connection to not only yourself but to others." Syreeta Challinger
She is a coach, creative consultant, writer podcaster and public speaker. She has created a space, Leaven, a place she sought when facing trauma and catastrophic change, all in response to her personal experiences of change as a mother and as a carer. Syreeta makes positive change possible. She has faced a myriad of life’s challenges, grief, loss, the place of unknowing each day.
She shares her unique story, we talk about unconditional love. How love has guided her throughout the darkest of times and given her hope to continue.
Love is a doing word, a verb. Love has carried her through the most insane 8 years when everything changed.
As a carer she also shares ways she practices being kinder to herself and takes care of her wellbeing.
Victoria Sponge is her favourite cake, so her recipe is named after this Syreeta's Love Sponge.
Her mantra that got her through and that she still uses today shared by her friend Alli: "inch by inch, life's a sinch, yard by yard it's very hard."
Instagram: @thisisleaven
Tedx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiXfQeMo-U4
The book she mentions is Falling Upward: A Spirituality For The Two Halves Of Life by Richard Ror.
32. Optimism Recipe - Mood enhancing music - Sitting with Emeritus Professor of Nursing Dame Elizabeth Nneka Anionwu
I met Elizabeth a long time ago, it was 2004 when I worked in Hammersmith & Fulham NHS Primary Care Trust. I have watched her over the years continue to be a pioneer and achieve success.
Elizabeth Anionwu is a retired nurse, campaigner and Emeritus Professor of Nursing at the University of West London. A fellow of the Royal College of Nursing, she spent 40 years in the profession and has been named one of the most influential nurses in the history of the NHS. Her career was distinguished by her pioneering work in the understanding of sickle cell disease - bringing better treatment and support to the thousands living with it. She was the first sickle cell and thalassaemia nurse counsellor in the UK. Her decades of dedication, care and service are a contrast to her own disrupted childhood as a mixed race child born out of wedlock in the 1940s, though it was the kindness of a nurse when she was just five that sparked a nascent interest in what would become her life’s work. After leaving school at 16, with seven O-levels, Elizabeth was made a Professor of Nursing in 1998.
She spent nine years fundraising and campaigning for a statue to British-Jamaican nurse Mary Seacole. Unveiled in 2016 in the grounds of St Thomas’ Hospital, London, the statue is the first in the UK to represent a named black woman. Elizabeth received the DBE in 2017 for services to nursing and the Mary Seacole Statue Appeal.
We sit down to talk about O from the Kindness A-Z. Optimism, a mental attitude characterised by hope and confidence in success and a positive future. Optimistic attitudes are linked to a number of benefits, better coping skills, lower stress levels, better physical health & higher persistence when pursuing goals. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894461/
We create a recipe together for Optimism with the following ingredients; sense of humour, music, flexibility, being part of a team and gratitude.
I recommend her book which I read in 2017 and it is definitely 'A page turner of a book!' Dua Lipa. Her memoir Dreams from my mother is available in paperback, kindle and audio.
Twitter @EAnionwu
Talking about her book in more detail in 2017 to participants of the NHS LEAP programme I was running as a guest speaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8HyGuPq2_c
Desert Island Discs with Elizabeth Anionwu and the 8 tracks of music she selects https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000jn8w
31. Hope Recipe - Moving through grief - Sitting with Professor Sara Seager
I met Sara online a year ago through Fempeak, raising the socioeconomic status of women through technology. I went on her test pilot for a confidence programme she is developing. It helped to increase my confidence to teach online and during this time she showed me kindness guiding me to become more confident to share my voice with the world.
Sara Seager is an astrophysicist and planetary scientist at MIT. Her main research goal is to find and identify another Earth.
I read her memoir and wanted to invite her to as a guest on the podcast to share her story of gaining hope and creating her future in the wake of tragedy.
We talk about H for Hope from the Kindness A-Z.
Book - A Memoir - 'The smallest lights in the universe' https://www.saraseager.com/books/
In this luminous memoir, an MIT astrophysicist must reinvent herself in the wake of tragedy and discovers the power of connection on this planet, even as she searches our galaxy for another Earth.
Sara Seager has always been in love with the stars: so many lights in the sky, so much possibility. Now a pioneering planetary scientist, she searches for exoplanets—especially that distant, elusive world that sustains life. But with the unexpected death of Seager’s husband, the purpose of her own life becomes hard for her to see. Suddenly, at forty, she is a widow and the single mother of two young boys. For the first time, she feels alone in the universe.
As she struggles to navigate her life after loss, Seager takes solace in the alien beauty of exoplanets and the technical challenges of exploration. At the same time, she discovers earthbound connections that feel every bit as wondrous, when strangers and loved ones alike reach out to her across the space of her grief. Among them are the Widows of Concord, a group of women offering advice on everything from home maintenance to dating, and her beloved sons, Max and Alex. Most unexpected of all, there is another kind of one-in-a-billion match, not in the stars but here at home.
Probing and invigoratingly honest, The Smallest Lights in the Universe is its own kind of light in the dark.
30. Self-Compassion Recipe - Fierce Self-Compassion - Sitting with Dr Kristen Neff
"With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend." Dr Kristen Neff
Dr Kristin Neff received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, she was an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. During Kristin’s last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism and has been practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. Kristin is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.
Guided Meditations https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations and https://centerformsc.org/practice-msc/guided-meditations-and-exercises/
Free online self-compassion test developed by Kristen https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/
29. Kindness Recipe - Bake your pizza and eat it as well - Sitting with Sakshi Bansal
Sakshi Bansal finished her Masters in Work and Organisational Psychology from the University of Nottingham in 2019. Sakshi was awarded as the first UNESCO Kindness Leader in 2018 for establishing Project LEAP, a social service project focused on SDG:4. She heads a team of 300+ volunteers and provides skill-based training to different volunteer groups in India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Africa, the US and the UK. She also consults various Artificial Intelligence (AI) bases start-ups in an advisory capacity. Recently recognised for her work at Project LEAP by awarding us “Excellence in Business Psychology” award (March 2022 - The Association for Business Psychology). She is a Humanitarian Work Psychologist.
The work she does is an act of kindness, it's bigger than her and she likes to get up each morning with something purposeful to do. She says some people have a fear of giving too much of themselves away.
Her two key observations about "kindness": - Kindness is the act. It is different from empathy, sympathy and intention. - Kindness does not need to be followed by words like vulnerability, authenticity and trust. It can be followed by words like power, profits and leadership too.
We talk about the differences between India and UK culture. India is the 'we' culture and the UK is more about 'I'.
She likes to practice self-kindness through travelling.
Kindness Recipe - Bake your pizza and eat it as well
Ingredients - self-reflection, healthy environment - mind, body or your physical space, the act of recognition (differences in your thought pattern and words)
Method -
1. Take yourself to a happy place where you can reflect. (Travel, shower, working out)
She likes to travel and see a new city. That space becomes inspiring, she's seeing a place for the first time.
2. Find time to reflect.
Take notes on her thoughts, recognise the words I am using and what does that indicate.
3. Have the courage to accept and change unkind thoughts, behaviour patterns and then you take the action to change them.
The act of kindness is to go and change the narrative to be kinder to myself.
We need to stop confusing kindness with selflessness. We need to stop thinking that kindness and assertiveness and leadership do not go hand in hand, they definitely do.
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/sakshi-bansal
28. Boundaries Recipe - How to set and maintain boundaries with yourself - Sitting with Ellen Nguen
My guest this week is Ellen Nguen. She is a writer and dating coach for women. She want's to help women claim their power, take control of their life, find what they want and need, and live a healthy and happy life.
After my last podcast episode on Boundaries with Dr Rebecca Ray, I learnt about internal boundaries and how we set boundaries with ourselves. I went on the internet to find out more and found a good article written by Ellen, on setting internal boundaries on medium and then we connected.
She uprooted her life at the young age of seventeen, so she know's what it’s like to feel lonely, insecure, and alienated.
She navigated her twenties by herself in a foreign country, so she know's what it’s like to be lost, confused, and heartbroken.
She has dealt with dating addiction, low self-esteem, having an anxious attachment style, and various other issues caused by having an absent father. As an Asian immigrant woman, needless to say, she has faced racism and sexism.
You do what is good for you. That is being kind to yourself.
We talk about different attachment styles from the work of John Bowlby. She shares about her anxious attachment style. Feeling of being abandoned and distrust when you experience distance from someone.I share about having an avoidant attachment style.
When you are feeling not harmonious, maybe there is something not right and against your value system.
It is important we listen to our bodies and sit with our feelings.
There is a difficult feeling when you set an internal boundary in the beginning.
She has used writing and journalling to help her to heal.
She shares to acknowledge all your feelings and let them out. It is a chance to claim your own narrative.
Boundaries Recipe - How to set and maintain boundaries with yourself
Ingredients:
Self-awareness, self-esteem, self-trust, kindness
Self-awareness - know that you need a boundary with yourself.
Self-esteem- know that you deserve to live a happy and healthy life
Self-trust - know that when you set a boundary it is good for you.
Kindness - being patient and gentle with yourself.
Method:
- Listen to your body. When you feel disharmonious. Some common feelings of disharmony are guilt, shame and resentment. Perhaps something in your thought process needs to be addressed.
- Setting limits. Decide what you do not want anymore.
- Take appropriate actions. Block someone, journal your feelings, to set you limits.
- Adopt a mindset to support your limit and mindset. Saying I am not going to do this anymore. Do the action you have decided to do.
Tip: Practice on small things, observe when you say negative things about yourself and reframe them.
https://www.youtube.com/c/EllenNguyen
27. Courage Recipe - Fuel Yourself - Sitting with Joti Balani
I met Joti Balani during a Fempeak live mentorship session where I was a guest talking about Self-compassion. We connected over recognising the importance of kindness and empathy in the work that we do. Joti is Fempeak's Technology Adviser & Sherpani (mentor/champion) and I am the Kindness Sherpani. She is Managing Director of Freshriver.ai where they design human to machine conversations. Artificial Intelligence (AI) with Emotional Intelligence. Over the last 2 decades, she has led product and technology innovation at both startup and Fortune 1000 enterprises including Citi, American Red Cross, AT&T, Texas Instruments, Zayo group, Medocity, Anexinet and Cross River Fiber. Joti mentors rising product and technology women leaders helping them create their own personal and professional growth frameworks. She also founded the Sisters Circle, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering women and children with education and opportunity.
Part of the Kindness alphabet or A-Z I have created to help you to become kinder includes C for Courage. This is defined as mental or moral strength to persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. When I have seen Joti work her confidence comes through her belief in what she thinks is important. She has the courage to speak up for what is not working especially in the technology field that is influencing all our lives. If we forget our common humanity when designing and creating products, the consequences could be disastrous. She is teaching the importance of empathy, kindness and humanity at the core of the technology being created and designed.
EI refers to the three E's, the 'economic' how do you create real value with the money minded world we live in, 'emotional' how do you make sure we are thinking about the human condition, 'ethical' are we doing the right thing?
The courage to say YES to what is important to us.
The courage to have a voice. Finding your voice. Trusting yourself the inner courage.
My mindset is: "Of course I can do it, I can figure it out. I can learn."
We talk about AI and getting people to wake up to how technology is monitoring our behaviour.
Courage recipe - Fuel Yourself (40:50)
Ingredients - Quiet time, Nature, Walking, Breathing, Boundaries.
Method -
Spending time with yourself. Getting to know how your wired.
Going out and being connected to the energy of nature feeds you.
When I go for a walk I listen to something that inspires me.
Or I take a deep breath with no head phones on.
Try this for three days.
Creating boundaries on how much time do I want to spend working and resting.
Write a lot.
Sleep.
Meditating, sitting very quietly and still.
Refuel yourself to have the energy to be courageous.
You are most vulnerable when you are not energised.
www.linkedin.com/in/jotibalani.
Note: Apologies on the audio cutting in and out when Joti is speaking. Thank you for listening and being patient with the sound.
26. Wisdom Recipe - How you see the other? - Sitting with Seema Kohli
I met Seema Kohli serendipitously at an event in London called The Art of Kindness. http://artofkindness.co.uk/home/?i=1 in 2017, where I interviewed her about what kindness is and posted the video on instagram.
We became friends and she hosted me to stay at her place when I went to India in 2019. When I stayed with Seema I got to see her connection with wisdom and how she lives her life.
Seema Kohli’s canvases are layered with many, many stories rooted as much in philosophy as in knowledge gained in modern times, a parable of tales both imagined and real, till one can no longer tell the real from the imagined. Art columnist Kishore Singh says “if you look closely at her canvases and the tapestry of motifs unravels into more legends; turn voyeur and the epics are but a background to the unfolding melodramas of daily lives turned epic. She serves up the Upanishads and newspaper headlines in doses of caffeine. It is this that gives her canvases credible status as a chronicler of narratives past and present, Indian in their essence but universal in their context. “I am a mirror,” she says. “When I paint, you see not what I have made but what you want to see.” “I,” Seema Kohli, painter and teller of stories, “am both myth and reality. Pick the one you want, but remember, the mirror distorts, and so the myth might be reality, and reality myth.”
She describes breathing with awareness is what mediation is. She simplifies what others may make more complex. We talk about flowing and flying, you loose that sense of gravity when she focuses on her work.
She shares her ritual of coming into the studio.
She touch's on different beliefs and how they amalgamate as one.
There is only one consciousness. There is only one womb which we all come from.
We talk about morning and evening routines.
The very idea of being born is an act of violence and kindness both.
We are being born every moment. We are alive because of the kindness of the other.
Our breath is our main connection. The moment we breathe out we take in someone else’s breath.
We are totally interdependent on each other.
We are tied to each other by breath. Everything is feeding off each other.
The word kindness puts me in a sense of humility. You cannot be kind without being humble.
Knowledge cannot come from books you have to practice it
Wisdom recipe (32:48 minutes)- How you see the other?
Ingredients: Humility, kindness, a lot of love, introspection, solitude, spending time with yourself make yourself a friend yourself.
Method: Whoever it is, an animal, non-living or living. We do not know the journey of the other being. We are not usually very kind to ourselves. We are judging ourselves. The moment you become kind to the fact this body is something we have, we need to nourish it. It is important to be kind to yourself. Look at it as something as a gift you have received. You have to have a faith or belief in some supreme consciousness that nourishes us all. We have received this. Be kind to yourself. In response to your being kind to yourself you see yourself in the other. There is not much difference. We both sustain each other. Kindness is the first step to have the idea of love. You cannot be kind without love. You cannot express love without being kind. No love can happen. The idea of kindness to be more humble, approachable. By spending time with yourself make yourself a friend to yourself. I do this by getting up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and say what a beautiful day. A new day I was not expecting this. First thing is to smile at yourself, while working or looking in the mirror.
The things we do not learn we are made to understand.
Instagram @SeemaKohli https://www.seemakohli.com/
25. Uniqueness Recipe - It's ok to be you- Sitting with David Taylor
David Taylor is Founder of Naked Leader, author of six best-selling books and The Business Ambassador to The Princes Trust charity.
I first met David when he ran NHS Leadership Masterclasses for NHS staff a long time ago. He kindly agreed to deliver the first Glow at Work masterclass for me on Leadership in 2012 and gave all the participants a copy of his book.
One of the keys to his success he shares was learning a memory technique - Your Memory: How It Works and How to Improve It - Kenneth Higbee https://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Memory-How-Works-Improve/dp/1569246297
David works with top leaders around the world, including the CEOs from Ford, Veolia and NHS Blood and Transplant. Over 300,000 people have attended a David Taylor event, across over 50 countries.
- Author of 5 best-selling books in over 30 languages
- The Business Ambassador for The Princes Trust
- Adviser to China’s first eco village – The Hua Tao project
I invited David to talk about Uniqueness one of the A to Z Kindness Recipes & Menus.
Because of his key message: “The Naked Leader offer is very simple – be successful by being yourselves”
He talk’s about people being different like each other. He says we are all very diverse and recognising that.
This is the recipe he shares -
Uniqueness Recipe: It’s ok to be you
Ingredients and Method
1. Know what’s important to you
2. Know where you want to go
3. Know where you are now
4. Have a purpose
6. Surrender
Tips:
See the good as well as the bad
Ask yourself how can this difficulty help me & other people
www.nakedleader.com
www.thorlhome.com
@nakedleader across social media
Be Yourself
Because that is all you ever need to be
Books - https://www.nakedleader.com/shop/
24. Inclusion Recipe - Safe but Brave - Sitting with Dr. Doyin Atewologun
23. Self-Compassion Recipe - Shame - Sitting with Dr Chris Germer
Dr Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry (part-time) at Harvard Medical School, his primary interest is self-compassion—the warmhearted attitude of mindfulness when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. He stumbled onto self-compassion in 2005 as a solution to his decades-long struggle with public speaking anxiety. Learning to be self-compassionate helped him to overcome anxious thoughts.
"I realised that when we are kind to ourselves, we immediately have this uprising of affection and care for others." Chris Germer - (FLOW International Magazine, January 2020)
He wrote a great book that I recommend reading called 'The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion- Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions.'
He co-developed the Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program with Kristin Neff in 2010 and MSC has since been taught to over 100,000 people worldwide. They co-authored two books on MSC, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program.
In 2007, Chris began collaborating with Kristin Neff, psychology professor at the University of Texas, Austin, and pioneering researcher on self-compassion. In 2009, he wrote the book, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, and, in 2010, Chris and Kristin co-developed Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), an empirically-supported, 8-week training program for the general public. The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion was established in 2012 and since then over 100,000 of people have learned MSC from over 3,000 teachers worldwide. A bestselling workbook on the MSC program appeared in 2018 and a professional textbook was released in 2019, both co-authored by Chris and Kristin.
In 2015, Chris helped to establish the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion at the Cambridge Health Alliance. He is on the faculty and serves as a senior advisor and research consultant, currently co-developing an fMRI research protocol for treating chronic pain with self-compassion.
Chris spends his professional life traveling internationally, teaching and writing about mindfulness and self-compassion, supporting MSC teachers and students, consulting on self-compassion research, and maintaining a modest psychotherapy practice.
22. Boundaries Recipe - LIMITS - Sitting with Dr Rebecca Ray
One of the most important ways that we can be kinder to ourselves and take care of our wellbeing is to set boundaries.
Part of Serving Kindness: A-Z of Kindness Recipes is B for Boundaries. I sit with Dr Rebecca Ray a Clinical Psychologist, Author and Speaker to talk deeply about boundaries and the importance of setting them. Her latest book called 'Setting Boundaries' is not just about saying 'no'.
She explores how boundaries are the key to many of the emotional and practical difficulties we encounter in daily life. Many of us, raised to be people-pleasers, find ourselves giving in to draining colleagues, friends, partners and relatives. In Setting Boundaries, Dr Ray shares science-based advice and tools to help you: - identify your boundaries and when they have been crossed - recognise the patterns and habits that have failed to support you to feel empowered - engage in difficult conversations from a place of strength and self-kindness - set clear, intentional boundaries and become your most loving, fulfilled and authentic self. She uses a science-backed, heart and hard truth approach to help big-picture-thinking womxn and creators live a life that’s fulfilling, unapologetic, and free.
She has been a Clinical Psychologist for the best part of two decades. Author of Setting Boundaries, Breakthrough, The Art of Self-Kindness, The Universe Listens to Brave and Be Happy: 35 Powerful Methods for Personal Growth and Well-Being. She has a community online about using courage and brain potential to make a meaningful difference in the world, while going gently on ourselves.
This is the summary of the recipe she creates:
Boundaries Recipe - LIMITS
L - Leader - activating your inner leader, your conscious authentic self and ask what needs to be done here?
I - Identify what the boundaries job is? What is it there to do?
M - Make the boundary known - you need to communicate what the boundary is. Make it very clear.
I - Introduce consequences if someone crosses your boundaries. Sometimes you can say them out loud. Communicate them calmly.
T - Take a stand - if the boundary is crossed, now you need do something about it. You have to follow through on the consequences.
S - Status check - boundaries are not just set and forget. You cannot set a boundary once and hope that it will be respected forever. You sometimes need to check-in that people are respecting it. Other times you might find that you evolve and the boundary is no longer necessary.
Podcast: Hello Rebecca Ray
Website: https://rebeccaray.com.au/
Socials: @drrebeccaray
21. UNIQUENESS: What makes you unique? - walk with me
20. Inclusion recipe - Welcoming a stranger - Sitting with Dr Mark McKergow
We talk about the old Arabic proverb, "the host is both the first and the last: first to arrive and last to leave" and how this applies to leading. This idea of host fits perfectly with kindness. I wanted to encourage people to be kindness hosts. Some of you may already be doing this. The idea of a host stepping forward and stepping back when necessary and creating the conditions for guests to feel comfortable. One way to do this, is to explore how you welcome people. We create a recipe for how to welcome a stranger. Practical ways that you can observe and pay attention and help someone in a moment of need.
One of his latest ideas combining his experiences is The Village In The City as a post-COVID initiative to encourage people to build on the micro-local communities which emerged during the pandemic. As a response to the local connections which appeared in his own street during the pandemic. Neighbours talked, email and Whatsapp groups started, people ran errands for each other and even entertained one another from their front steps. He thought that it would be good to build on this connection, by moving up a level from the street to the ‘village’. Using his background as an organisational and leadership consultant, Mark devised the Village In The City Manifesto to set out the benefits and building blocks for connection. People responded from all over the world, and a community of Village Builders is forming around the idea. Watch his tedtalk.
19. Hope Recipe - Resilience after a suicide loss - Sitting with Julia Broglie
18. Time management for mortals - Walk with me
17. Compassion Recipe - Tone of voice - Sitting with Professor Paul Gilbert
Before retirement he was head of the Mental Health Research Unit, Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. He remains Professor at the University of Derby. In 2011 he was awarded the Order of the British Empire for his continued contribution in mental healthcare.
In 2006 Paul and his colleagues founded The Compassionate Mind Foundation www.compassionatemind.co.uk
Compassionate Mind Training helps us to understand, and work with, our tricky brains. It builds our abilities to use our bodies to support our minds, and develop the courage and wisdom to address our life difficulties and flourish. The compassionate mind tries to live to be helpful not harmful.
We discuss how Compassion gives courage and wisdom to descend into our suffering. We talk about the fear of compassion scale global-uploads.webflow.com/5eb3b31b67bd4cf198cee794/602247ec5e2efa1026d13d49_fears-of-compassion-scale.pdf which looks at 1. Expressing compassion for others 2. Responding to compassion from others 3. Expressing kindness and compassion towards yourself.
When people have suffered a lot with trauma and abuse they can find it difficult to practice compassion in the beginning. It takes time to activate the soothing system and to go towards suffering.
He breaks down many myths:
- about compassion fatigue this does not exist, it is more empathy burnout. You cannot have compassion fatigue.
- you do not need to like or love someone to practice compassion.
- you do not need to like or love yourself to practice compassion.
- you do not have to be self-compassionate to practice compassion.
We get really practical to go deep to listen to the inner critic, the inner voice that is critical. He talks about the importance of tone voice. Not just the words, also the way we talk to ourselves, is it in a harsh or kind tone? We can learn to soften the tone and transform the inner critic voice to one that is more helpful.
Lectures by Paul Gilbert - www.compassionatewellbeing.com/compassion-safe-relating-and-world-change-lecture-series.html
16. Visualise your future- Walk with me
15. Rest Recipe - Sitting with Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
I sit with Alex Soojung-Kim Pang Author of SHORTER, REST and THE DISTRACTION ADDICTION. He is on a global movement to shorten working hours, while improving productivity & profitability.
We discuss about his company called Strategy and Rest and what that means.
He shares research from his books and ways for you to serve kindness to yourself and others. We discuss boundaries and how saying 'No' can help you to take good quality rest so that you can also do good quality work.
We talk about the value of routines and how this can help you to rest. Creating a routine that works for you. This can be difficult in the beginning, it can take a couple of weeks for you to get used to a new routine. In the long run it can help you to work on what matters to you and take care of your wellbeing. What is important to you may not be so important to someone else. You need to protect your time, when you feel energised to do your work in a focused way. We discuss 90 minute slots throughout the day of focused work, followed by deliberate rest.
Routines: https://www.ft.com/content/b5d70caa-bd91-4613-a944-3654990643ea
The petition: action.4dayweek.com
Strategy and Rest: http://www.strategy.rest
Skype, Twitter, Insta, etc.: @askpang
14. Willingness to create - Walk with me
13. Going with the flow - Walk with me
12. Mindfulness Recipe - Sitting with Shamash Alidina
We discuss more about kindness and how it relates to practising mindfulness. We try to make it simple for you to practise mindfulness in a way that suits you best. There is no perfect way to practise.
www.shamashalidina.com/
11. Slowing down - Walk with me
10. Kindness is being present - Walk with me
9. Joy Recipe - Sitting with Whitney Freya
Join us for a longer deeper conversation where we explore what kindness is and how it relates to joy. I sit with my friend Whitney Freya who is an expert in Inspired Living, providing practical tools & practices that free your mind from limitations and scarcity to create more in your life that lights you up from the inside out. As an act of more kindness she is offering you two free courses to paint and increase joy in your life: You are your OWN Dream Catcher filmed when I went to stay with Whitney: https://whitneyfreya.wistia.com/projects/9c8wk2dsiy The Life Artist Master Class: https://whitneyfreyastudio.com/p/the-life-artist-master-class https://whitneyfreya.com/ Share this episode with others as an act of intentional kindness to increase kindness in the world. I recommend learning from Whitney, she has been teaching online for a long time and she shows you in a joyful way that "life is the canvas of your soul" and how to awaken your creativity and to connect with your inner knowing. Click the following link to learn more this is an affiliate link and another way Whitney shares, and practices kindness and abundance https://whitneyfreyastudio.com/?affcode=146549_dqaqmoon
8. Kindness in quarantine - Walk with me
7. Appreciation and acceptance - Walk with me
6. Joyful frog voices - Walk with me
5. Appreciating the good - Walk with me
4. Moving from doubt and perfectionism - Walk with me
3. Notice the inner and outer weather as an observer - Walk with me
Trailer for the Kindness Chef podcast
2. What is kindness? Walk with me