One Inch Past Scary

Hi kids! I’m back and getting vulnerable about the grip shame has had on me. I’m offering some unorthodox tips that are working for me to hack ADHD mostly by confronting it’s most debilitating bed partner: SHAME. Why thinking that you have to shame yourself in order to get or stay motivated is a HUGE mistake and how becoming resilience to shame will free up a ton of bandwidth and allow you to use your uncommonly brilliant brain infinitely more effectively. I also talk about PDA (not the fun kind) and how I’m finding hacks to get around that. A tip! If you have ADHD try listening to me 2x or even 3x speed. I speak pretty slowly and ADHD brains tend to focus better on speedy stuff.

Emotional Dysregulation is one of the least well understood yet major components of ADHD and can be it’s most serious and debilitating symptom. Today I discuss ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) one very common and extremely painful manifestation of DESR (deficient emotional self-regulation). *This episode draws from a clinical presentation I did on the topics for my masters program at Northwestern University. I really encourage anyone with ADHD or who loves someone with ADHD to listen.

Today I’m talking about identifying limiting beliefs, purging stagnant mindsets and moving beyond our uncomfortable comfort zones. Simple exercises for steadily moving our fears and insecurities out of the driver’s seat of our lives, finding contentment with where we are right now while simultaneously looking forward with joy and enthusiasm.

This week I’m talking about things like creating comparison narratives (why is everyone but me so competent/cool; why is everybody mad at me). Why people participate in “pain Olympics” (my trauma is worse than your trauma) and what one single thing allowed me to conduct an effective therapy session under pressure with almost no clinical skills.

2023 is that you?! My first episode this year! I’m chatting about my first 6 weeks of grad school. It’s been a damn ride! Things I expected to be hard? Not that bad! Stuff I never expected to struggle with or come up at all? Baptism by fire! Would I recommend it to others like me?! Listen and find out…

Today I talk about curiosity. How it can overcome fear anxiety and overwhelm and break you out of your Discomfort Zone (that place which feels familiar but also unfulfilling and nagging). How engaging purposefully with curiosity took away analysis paralysis and made previously scary and stressful endeavours feel natural and fun.

In todays episode I share a recent experience where finally understanding a long-time trigger freed me from nagging anxiety. PLUS! My proven tips for taking on a terrifying/overwhelming task or journey in a way that feels manageable and builds your confidence. **Especially if you have ADHD or other neuroatypical challenges.

Do you know what your personal attachment style is? We all have one! In this episode I discuss Attachment Theory and 4 types of relationship attachment styles. Identifying my own has been truly LIFE CHANGING and is making an incredible impact on my ability to stabilise and heal myself and my most important relationships.

In today’s episode I talk about how paralysing people pleasing has been in my life. How nobody cares what colour you paint your bedroom and how you can reframe your perception of your reality to create a better one.

How was your Summer?! Good? Great! Mine was an emotional rollercoaster mostly a slow disassociated climb ending in a free fall of despair and identity crisis! Wheeee!! Fun! I talk about the dangers of trying to compartmentalise sadness or bad feelings (and why it’s absolutely to be expected that so many of us are still struggling more than we used to) How unhelpful tendency to isolate ourselves when we are drinking from The Cocktail of Bad Feelings and how to find good friends, even if you never leave your house. In part two, I talk about the small shift that got me back on track to feeling a lot more like myself and how your own shift might be so much more attainable than you might imagine.

Everyone's favourite Joe Boyle is back. And this conversation has it all. Tragedy, triumph and everything in between. We talk about Joe's ongoing battle with cancer and where he is now. How the loss of his father and several close friends at the same time as his health took a major turn for the worse right in time for a global pandemic affected him. The devastation of being seen by some as disposable in a COVID precaution weary world, and the dehumanizing burden of becoming a "Brand" when you choose to share your struggles publicly. On the lighter side, we discuss how Joe was able to leverage cancer treatment coping skills into a creating a sense of community, especially for his high-school students and how he found himself authoring a five part book series in the midst of it all. Don't miss this one.

My ultimate life hack for when you are feeling stuck unmotivated depressed exhausted numb or frozen.

This episode gives 5 reasons why understanding and expressing your needs is an act of mature self love and a radical form of community service. Includes plenty of practical tips and scripts to express your needs in a healthy conflict free way and how to create a safe environment for others to do the same.

How to adjust your perspective on the difficult work of recovering from mental illness, grief or/or burnout and respond to your needs the way an excellent friend would.

Today I talk about the need for more intentional efforts to create joy in our daily lives through small indulgences, sensory pleasures and intentional luxuries that don’t have to cost any money. How these things can help us to overcome trauma, and also just restore and replenish us for the inevitable difficulties and struggles of life.

In this episode I talk about a recent experience with self betrayal, we look into the patterns of self abandonment what it looks and feels like, why we do it and how we can stop.

Do you feel guilty for feeling sad when others have it worse or guilty for being happy when people you love are suffering? Also: how to really comfort people. (Hint: most of us get it wrong) and a bunch of easy bio hacks to help ease stress, anxiety and depression.

In this episode I talk about some things I’ve been reflecting on since the recent passing of my friend’s precious son Luke after his brave battle with brain cancer. Includes my thoughts on how to better support people in pain, how to fully sink into (rather than fear or grasp at) those brief beautiful moments of contentment and joy… plus my best method for riding out my most impossible times and the most romantic Valentine’s gift my husband ever gave me.

In today’s episode. Talking about my newly famous husband whose work is floating 1 million miles out in space ready to unlock the secrets of the universe (No biggie) and how it’s restoring my faith in humanity. PLUS: How I’ve been stuck in the paralysis of WAIT MODE for 2 years and what I’m doing to deactivate it and rediscover joy and myself.

I’m back my darling babies and today I’m talking about how after a major holiday season breakdown I’m embracing the liberation of Having No Perfect (or even Good) Choices right now. Also chatting about our collective burnout and how Just Being is truly all we need to be.

I’ve had ADHD all my life was diagnosed in my late 30’s but have not done much research or sought treatment until how. How the fiasco of my first pottery lesson led to me to understand how much it has been limiting me and hindering my self acceptance. And why I’m ready to make some real changes.

When Survivors speak publicly they are often met with crushing pushback. Many sense that they then need to manage the public perception and fallout. This episode helps survivors to navigate these fears and to stay in their own lane to healing. I also speak to how we can all be better at understanding why Survivors choose to go public and how critical it is that we support them.

In part 1 of this episode: How I put an end to my tormented striving to find my Purpose and started living an life of self acceptance and purpose fulfilled. In part 2 I talk about how the fear of the opinions of others can keep victims silenced and forever trapped in trauma. How finding the courage to risk upsetting and alienating others will ultimately bring us more love peace and healing than anything we ever stood to lose.

Returning after a very long hiatus with a crowd favourite MMA fighter coach and gym owner, Joe Garcia! We talk about how devastating Covid-19 was to his business, his lifestyle and even his identity and how he pivoted, got creative and grew. A really inspiring chat!

If you are feeling overwhelmed depleted numb disconnected frightened or all of the above right now you are not alone. I have been struggling with the same but I can shift to a better state when I choose to. It’s never been more important for us to take care of ourselves. I talk about what I’m doing to protect my mental health and proactively manage this season of grief and chaos in this short and impromptu podcast

Darlings! I’m back with some affirmations and guided breathing and stretches you can incorporate into any situation or challenge to manage stress and help you to know that you are capable of managing each moment as it comes.

Do you find that you do fine with the “New Normal” for a few days, and then suddenly find yourself dipping into a zone where everything feels *super* weird, overwhelming and even scary? In today’s episode, I’m talking about this common new phenomenon and my personal strategies for how to get out of the valley and making the rollercoaster ride less intense in general.

Dr. Gardner has the perspective of treating patients with Co-vid-19 in various markets: suburban, rural, sleepy towns and Las Vegas. Our chat focuses on making the best of our new normal, doing all we can do to protect ourselves without spiralling into paralysing fear and an overwhelming preoccupation with the virus. And ways we can protect our mental health, build immunity and create unity during this trying time.

Is quarantine making you bitchy, intolerant, irritable. judgmental and generally not your best self ? ME TOO! In this 2nd anniversary of my podcast I unpack why fear can look like unkindness, how love is not about being controlling and the things which are helping me to start being kinder to myself and others.

A permission slip to give yourself grace and just be YOU as you adjust to this new normal. I also walk you through calming grounding exercise that works for me when I’m having difficulty interrupting an anxiety spiral.

On this week’s episode I chat to mega accomplished college scholar athlete (and the new “ridiculously photogenic running guy” meme) Ryland Black about the Wim Hof method. He’s used the method to help him run a 4 hr marathon without training, recover from serious injury, prepare for exams, and achieve excellence in every area of life. He introduced me to it and I’m so grateful! A fascinating chat about the science and simple discipline behind becoming a little more superhuman every day.

Jason Ratliff joins us from Dubai to talk about some of the challenges which face African American men who deal with mental illness. He candidly speaks of his own path toward healing from debilitating anxiety and depression and makes a strong plea to his community to recognize how prevalent this is and stand up to the stigma around seeking help and healing.

In this “way out of my comfort zone” impromptu episode I talk about the things that have been helping me to thrive lately and the sacred comfort I have been receiving in between. Talking about the Wim Hof Method, cold exposure, pole dancing?! and opening my mind more to metaphysical messages and signs with some pretty amazing results. (I don’t care if you think I’m crazy -she says..kinda caring but not enough ;)

Today I talk about the “emotional guidance scale” and how if we identify how we are feeling we can make the choice in the next moment to move ever so slightly up the emotional scale. This gives a very solid, accessible and practical breakdown of how we can climb the emotional ladder from despair/fear/shame/hopelessness.... rung by rung to feelings of joy, peace and empowerment. We can also give ourselves grace for whatever state we find ourselves in, and gently and kindly introduce other options. This REALLY WORKS.

By popular demand my lil bro is back! We are talking about the courage it takes to be willing to sit in the present moment and the enormous gains that can result from that. If you are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, stuck in the past or obsessed about the future, if you keep waiting to arrive or to do enough to feel as though you are enough, if you are self sabotaging or feeling paralysed about living your purpose or if you just love listening to South African accents.. This gem of an episode is for YOU

My teenage son and I talk about how our relationship has helped him to stay out of trouble and his theories regarding parenting style and teenage rebellion. . This one is for any teen or parent of a teen who want to have a more trusting, open and fulfilling relationship

My brother Seth has been an extraordinary support to me in healing from Complex PTSD which he too deals with. His compassionate wisdom and solid, scientific insights have helped me to negotiate some of the most complicated relationships and emotions of my life. Please tune in as we discuss reuniting after I left the Mormon faith and he remains devout, and how we are protecting ourselves with good boundaries while we also work to heal ourselves through the peace of forgiveness and moving forward.

In this episode I recount the shame spiral I went into after running my first marathon and why . I share the extremely effective tools I’m using to silence my harsh inner critic, while gaining increasing peace with myself and others regardless of what I can, have or will achieve. These things are allowing me to confidently go after what I really want and fully enjoy the *process* of accomplishing my goals while detaching from the outcomes outside of my control. It’s a really good one!

Why I hold back from promoting my creative work and why that’s about EGO! How I turned a tantrum over being injured a week before my first marathon into recognizing it as the gift I had been asking for. This isn’t the Pollyanna approach it sounds like but it is helping me to stay in the game.

Thoughts on how shutting down others is counterproductive, putting feelings into words so that we can separate ourselves from, and how facing our fears is the only way forward

A year ago I posted the barest details of the abuse at the hands of my stepfather and how my mother had been complicit in protecting him and shaming me as part of the #whyididntreport campaign. This sent shockwaves through our #lds #mormon community of which we had been a prominent golden family. Three of my four siblings courageously stood by my public claims. A year later I talk about the path to healing and why it was imperative that this revelation had to be as public as it was. What my gratitude to our unlikeliest of allies and the betrayal of others has meant for us and the lessons I am carrying forward into my own parenting. This is a story of harrowing healing and hope. #C-PTSD is not a life sentence and our abusers do not get to write our stories.

In this episode I chat about how getting vulnerable with my family drastically improved all of our lives, why mom guilt will wreck your relationships and how to get closer to your kids after you have a parenting screw up.

In this episode I talk about how a calm and soulful Summer dedicated to mastering my mindset and finding my spiritual groove again gave me the strength and resilience to withstand the perfect storm of a few of my greatest fears recently.

Long distance running is the perfect metaphor for life. Here are some of the most important nuggets of truth and wisdom I have gleaned on my long runs which anyone can apply to the Marathon of Life. Alternatively titled: I run long so you don’t have to ;)

In this episode I talk about the simple epiphany I recently had which instantly allowed me to become drastically more resilient to former triggers, far less affected by the actions of others, and infinitely more confident in my ability to handle whatever life may bring.

In this episode I talk to my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu/MMA teacher and friend Joe Garcia about the mentality of being a fighter and how the lessons from the ring (and before and after) synch up perfectly with anything we are facing in our life. We also talk about my experience with using BJJ as therapy for PTSD and what I gained from going One Inch Past Scary and being embraced by a Fight Club Family.

In this episode Ben who will be 21 in a couple of weeks speaks candidly of his struggles with perfectionism, burden of being a habitual high achiever and the ensuing depression and burnout he experienced in college. With his life in a state of hedonistic disarray, m and his attitude apathetic at best, he signed on for an intense summer job of field coursework in the Mojave desert. There he struggled with anxiety and Imposter Syndrome and resolved to give up before even starting. Instead he made a drastic mental adjustment and literally overnight began discovering reserves of strength and coping skills he forgot he had and a renewed zest for life and sense of direction as well as a deep testimony of the gift of vulnerability.

The next episode in my series of “What If” questions.: What if you stopped trying to control your life and instead chose to participate in it? A lesson in radical acceptance of WHAT IS and how it’s healing and changing me, recharging my physical energy, my relationships, (and helping me to be the parent I wish my kids had always had). I surprised myself by crying (with joy!) in this one.

A year ago my friend Jennifer Knowles made a simple set of 4 daily goals to make the most of her Summer. This quickly exploded into a 1000+ person strong incredibly active online community which is making a profound difference in countless lives. Based on radical kindness with Mr Rogers as their mascot this group is changing the world in the best possible way. Prepare to be inspired!

Are you paralyzed by the fear of criticism? Are you stuck in life and not progressing the way you should because you are terrified of being “caught” in your imperfections? Are you waiting to be “enough” of something before you put yourself or your work out there? It’s a trap! Asking myself this second “What If”question and implementing these mindset adjustments has freed me up to do my thing and respect myself so much more,