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Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

By Andy Wilson
A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.
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Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

Toy Story
ANDY'S COMING! EVERYONE HIDE! We talk about the first Toy Story movie and why we love this franchise. The long history of Pixar and John Lasseter- watch The Pixar Story on Disney+. Only men made this movie? SHOCKING. The return of Quibi-co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg. Joss Whedon and a pause for reactions. Fan theories about Andy's mom and family situation.  Next week it's time to cry with Jessie's cowgirl song. Watch Toy Story 2!
October 04, 2022
Turning Red
It's our longest episode ever! as we discuss Turning Red, boy bands, parenting, and generational trauma.  Then we then go through our wrap up of Disney Princesses and rankings. Post credits interview with Aaron "Bear the Greeter!" (starts at approximately 3 hr mark) Next week Toy Story, and don't forget to vote in our Facebook poll about the franchises you'd like to see covered on the show! Andy's letterboxd profile and Disney Princess rankings list.
September 29, 2022
We're going to talk about Bruno. Melissa is joining us from a submarine? (Stay to the end for the bloopers where you can hear the submarine dive). Which family member are we and why is it Luisa? Lots of talk about mental health and family trauma. WE FUCKING HATE THE ALAMO, OK? US foreign policy towards Latin America. Andy's gift is segues back from tangents. Next week we're finishing Disney Princesses (for now) with Turning Red! Bring your favorites ranked and also your favorite boy band songs!
September 15, 2022
Raya and the Last Dragon
It's a princess movie about. . . COVID? The world is broken but we're here to talk about all the ways Disney tried to do something new and different and groundbreaking here, but also a discussion about how it's a step backwards when we use a fake place like Kumandra instead of real places like Coco and Encanto do. We still really love this movie though. Content/trigger-warnings: we discuss COVID, death, family problems and injuries, and sexual assault and rape in this episode.  And stop pitting women against each other! We also include some bloopers/outtakes at the end of the episode including a side discussion about RRR and why Kitt isn't here this week. Next week we talk about Bruno! We're watching Encanto! If you want more ASMR seduction from Andy, please message the podcast but we really don't think any of you are looking for this.
September 02, 2022
Frozen 2
It's Disney's first theatrical animated sequel, and what a doozy! The billion and a half dollar behemoth with an anti-colonialist subtext? We have guesr Richard Templeton joining us who had never seen Frozen 2 before! Check out his podcasts: Turning Trekkie! Watch Your TV Show The Broadway Baby and The Musical Maniac The 2nd Golden Age of Radio Read more about the Sami people. Listen to Melissa on Yours, Mine and Theirs! She's going back for the next episode, and next month Brooke is on there too! We're taking over! Next week we're talking about Raya and the Last Dragon!
August 21, 2022
Okay, so this our longest episode ever at over 3 hours, and EVERYBODY CRIES. Sorry, not sorry. Special bonus appearance by James Estrada at about the 1:30 mark. Special bonus Mexican box office discussion around 2:15. THIS EPISODE FEATURES A LOT OF CRYING. Andy doesn’t remember to introduce the podcast. Trawling for sponsors: Magic Spoon, Mucinex, Tacos, or sex toys. CRYING PART 1: Brooke’s niece Coco who passed away, her family history and her grandmother from Spain. Grief. The importance of when this movie came out—right in the middle of Trump and terrible things he was saying. The invisibility of Mexican representation in media. This gives us hope. “We Should All Be Feminists”by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. A clip from “The Danger of a Single Story” about her “single story” experience of Mexicans (clip begins at 8:25). This is like a giant hug specifically for Mexicans.  Nailed a bunch of specific things like the humor and even the family interactions. The genesis of “so specific it’s universal.” THE CHANCLA. All the characters are well-rounded, everyone gets to be right, everyone gets to be wrong. Grandma Imelda is amazing. Check out Chavela Vargas singing La Llorona and Paloma Negra. Andy is scared by La Llorona. Is “de la Cruz” as a name indicative of classism/ colonialism?  Hummingbirds – fuck around and find out! Oaxacan spirit guardians and their depiction—GORGEOUS animation. Frida! Generational trauma. Can we NOT do the militarized border in our fantasy land? Disneyland is the same. A WILD JAMES ESTRADA APPEARS!!! We have a 1:1 conversation about Coco. We do more crying talking about James’s grandparents. You can find James on Facebook at Nerdy at Home Dad or semaj_adartse on TikTok and Instagram. BOX OFFICE! MEXICAN BOX OFFICE and Mexican box office records! Studio notes. MORE HUMMINGBIRD TALK. Read: The Most Powerful Aztec God had the Hummingbird as his Spirit Animal. Mexico Lore: Hummingbirds. More about hummingbirds in culture. Kitt and Andy almost cry talking about their grandfather. Melissa is going to be on Yours, Mine and Theirs talking about BARFI! Listen to our Barfi episode from last year. And get prepared to watch Citizen Ruth and Maria Full of Grace! Next week we're back with Frozen II and we're talking about Elsa and her horse (not whores, Brooke). INTO THE UNKNOWN!
August 16, 2022
Everything Everywhere All At Once
It's Andy's birthday so we're watching his favorite movie of 2022. Special guest James Estrada from Geek Parenting Podcast joins us, and you can check out his Twitch streams here. Why this movie works. Nietzsche. Buddhism. Let's go to the rock universe. Generational trauma. Absurdism. Butt plugs. Hot dog fingers. Randy Neuman as Racacoonie. Next week we're back at Disney with Coco!
August 03, 2022
It's Moana! and we have lots of opinions. First time watcher for Melissa. Memories of seeing this in the theaters. Stupid coconuts. Stop sending people on these 2 week vacations to places! How does one get on a Disney cultural advisory panel? Tamatoa, Maui, and big dick energy. Lin Manuel wrote a Bowie song for Jermaine!  Alan Tudyk went to Julliard and now he makes chicken noises. See here! Ok, fine, Coco is now a princess movie too. Next week, we do a birthday movie for Andy- listen to see what it is! And will Melissa hate it? And then stripper movies for the holidays maybe? "What a gift!" -- Brooke.
July 28, 2022
Disney goes "woke" with the whitest people you know? Or just a story about sisters. The long history of Frozen starting in the 1940s, and including what happens when you put different people in charge of writing and directing, in this case writer/co-director Jennifer Lee. The sister summit. Adele Dazeem. Is Elsa gay? We're 100% on board with killing the parents. Do reindeer antlers female?  Go vote in the Facebook poll-- Andy eliminated 5 movies from his birthday movie runoff, so go vote harder if you have strong preferences.
July 19, 2022
We're all still sick with COVID (get back to us on that sponsorship, Mucinex) but let's talk about Jim Henson's/David Bowie's Labyrinth! Why Kitt bought this on VHS with their own money. Gaslighting: the movie and the Elaine May connection. What if Michael Jackson had been in this? GIVE US ADAM DRIVER MUPPET PRIDE AND PREJUDICE YOU COWARDS. Patriarchy is everywhere. from gas stations in Oregon to the Supreme Court. Next week, back to Princesses! It's Frozen time! Go listen to Brooke talk about Labyrinth more (and Big Trouble in Little China and Idiocracy) on Yours, Mine and Theirs! Go vote in the Facebook poll to help pick Andy's birthday movie... unless you like Channing Tatum musicals or movies about time travel and multiverses, in which case just let it ride.
July 13, 2022
Aka the episode where everyone is sick. Somehow JB spread COVID via the podcast and we're all recovering. But let's talk about Brave! And Brenda Chapman. And John Lasseter. And Haggis. And rules for dealing with the Fey! And bear puns!  Next week we have a special birthday treat -- Kitt has chosen Labyrinth, which will be lots of fun!
July 05, 2022
It's the story of... Flynn Rider? How is this not Rapunzel's story!?!? We break down why Brooke hates this so much, along with long discussions about emotional abuse and gaslighting. The Philadelphia Story! JB shows up at the end and we go on a tangent about Duets, the Huey Lewis/Gwyneth Paltrow movie. Also crazy merch from this movie, like a trading card game? Please note that this episode was recorded prior to the Supreme Court decision coming down in Dobbs v Jackson Womens Health Care and so while a lot of this episode does call out patriarchy, we don't address any of that. Abortion is health care, and if you can, please support organizations giving to women of color who will need direct aid getting access to proper treatment.
June 27, 2022
We've been dreaming of a true love's kiss and this movie that tries to have it both ways with princess tropes. It is, however, enchanting, as is Adele Dazeem, who inexplicably doesn't sing in this movie at all (Kitt has some studio notes about that). The movie is still incredibly white and straight, even for 2007. Nominations for Patrick Dempsey's nickname: McBoring? McDiva?   Next week we cross into 3D cgi animation for the first time with Tangled! Get your frying pan ready for Brooke's hot takes on why she hates it!
June 14, 2022
The Princess and the Frog
It's The Princess and the Frog and we welcome Sandee Moore back from her previous appearance and Kitt is now back as a regular princess contributor. Musker and Clements are at it again, and Lotsa Huggin Bear Jon Lasseter is making it even worse. The cult of Oprah? Depictions of vodou in mainstream media. Neil Gaiman. RANDY NEWMAN. Zydeco.  Andy does the LONGEST studio note ever with a complete rewrite. We're very sorry. Go to Sandee's Instagram, follow her, like her posts, and send her money to buy one of these Tiana dresses!
June 10, 2022
Demolition Man
We're back and ready to explain the three seashells with this movie that will totally be your boggle. Enhance your calm as we talk about how this movie went through development hell, had 5 different writers, and almost starred Jackie Chan and Lori Petty. . . Also, Brooke and JB have tips for how to get into the Utah Swingers scene. Can we turn this movie into Intersectional Demolition Woman? Next week we're back with Disney Princesses and we're talking about The Princess and the Frog.
June 02, 2022
Louise by the Shore
It's a birthday choice for Brooke, who chose the animated French 2016 film Louise by the Shore, a surrealist contemplation on aging, memory and isolation. While Brooke thinks being left alone in a seaside resort village with just a dog is her idea of heaven, it is Andy's personal hell. Tom the paratrooper, tho. Pepper the dog is the bestest boi. Birds putting people on trial and boiling your noodle. Is this movie feminist? We say some offensive things about the French. A wild JB appears through the magic of editing! Next week we're watching  ̶B̶e̶l̶l̶e̶ ̶E̶p̶o̶q̶u̶e̶.̶ ̶R̶u̶n̶a̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶T̶o̶m̶ ̶S̶e̶l̶l̶e̶c̶k̶,̶ ̶G̶e̶n̶e̶ ̶S̶i̶m̶m̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶N̶a̶n̶c̶y̶ ̶A̶l̶l̶e̶n̶.̶ ̶T̶r̶e̶m̶o̶r̶s̶.̶ ̶R̶o̶b̶o̶t̶ ̶J̶o̶x̶.̶  Demolition Man. We're watching Demolition Man, which you can stream on Hulu.
May 25, 2022
Lilo and Stitch
On this episode, Ohana means podcast, and that means Andy forgot to include his actual ohana in the recording, so stick around for special time with his sibling Kitt at the end. (Kitt is also going to start joining us as a semi-regular contributor for the rest of the Disney princesses). But we love this movie! Even though some of us had never seen it before. Found family. Is Lilo on the spectrum? The problems of the foster care system. Kids in the Hall. How 9/11 changed the movie. Changing the dryer to a pizza box. Are there no "bad" characters? The marketing of Lilo and Stich. Conversation with Kitt starts about 1:37. Disney's Ugly Duckling short that makes Andy ugly cry: Stitch trailers where he ruins other Disney movies: Next week it's Brooke's birthday so we're watching Louise by the Shore:
May 16, 2022
Robin Hood
Ooo-da-lally! Disney's take on the Robin Hood story is the best filmed version of Robin Hood. Welcome to professor of ethics and philosophy Ammon Allred to help us answer the existential question Little John asks at the beginning: are we the good guys or the bad guys? Lots of talk about the songs. We have a side conversation with Ruth who is back after her appearance on the Pocahontas episode. The Carry Girl on Ellen. The Masked Singer version of "I Will Always Love You." Next week is Lilo and Stitch because Ohana means family.
May 09, 2022
We're back to give a queer take on Mulan and make Ted Cruz, Ron DeSantis and Ben Shapiro cry. Donny Osmond. Who is Jeffrey Katzenberg? The voice cast of this movie. The cricket! Eddie Murphy? More ballsacks? Orientalism still alive in the animation. Boycotts against the movie by the Chinese Communist Party and the American Religious Right. Same as it ever was.  Next week we're doing Robin Hood!
May 02, 2022
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
We're back and we're mad about this movie. HELLFIRE! Or are we mad? Maybe just bored. A brief word about the history of the Romani people. We do not use the g-word when referring to them, but we do quote directly from news outlets and the script itself who do. A brief discussion of Andy's history of seeing this movie and making out with people. "The most R-rated G movie you will ever see" -- go read the NYTimes article. Brooke's angry rant. "A Guy Like You" has big incel energy. Sexualization of Esmerelda -> Demi Moore and Striptease -> Andy talking about Channing Tatum and Magic Mike and White House Down. The goat is the GOAT. Mulan is next!  If you'd like to be a guest on our show, reach out to us at, find us on Twitter @KissYoFranchise, join the Facebook group, or leave us a message on our homepage.
April 25, 2022
We welcome Ruth Young, who has been to every county in Utah, as we tackle Disney's attempt at a biopic that in no way reflects the actual life of the people they were trying to portray. We say goodbye to Jeffrey Katzenberg, co-founder of Quibi. Ok, fine, we're doing Robin Hood. Kokoum, so hot right now.  The actual history of Makaota, who was called Pocahontas: and a video version of this
April 11, 2022
Andy really likes this movie but is going to complain about it for 2 1/2 hours. Robin Williams. Jeffrey Katzenberg (co-founder of Quibi) and the ruining of this movie. Howard Ashman's death. The problems with Tim Rice and A Whole New World. Jasmine is doing a 1992 Feminism! (according to Men) The Nipple Report with Brooke Heym. BARFI!  Aladdin 92 vs Aladdin 2019 box office adjusted for inflation report:  Twisted the Musical by Starkid: Anyway, this movie's sexual politics are garbage, its racial politics are garbage, its class politics are garbage. But is it also great?
March 22, 2022
Beauty and the Beast
Kelly Adams rejoins us as we start talking about, what else, that library, tho. Kelly loves this movie. Andy loves this movie. Brooke keeps hearing Melissa's voice in her head, or her head in her... something, we don't know. But if there's a library in it for us, then we'll do pretty much anything. Belle is both amazing and problematic. Who is the antagonist of this movie? A long tangent about Star Trek and Quantum Leap. Brooke wants to talk about Esmerelda, so we're doing Hunchback... in 3 weeks.
March 14, 2022
Lil Mermaid Round 2: Return to the Podcast
Melissa is back! And Jon and Roy from Yours, Mine and Theirs are here. (NOTE: To understand some of the jokes and repeated references in this episode, Jon ate some cornbread on camera and we talked about Brooke's obsession with Savannah Smiles, a movie about runaway/kidnapping children that was filmed in Utah) They're planning a live event on July 1st and are crazy. The Batman and punching too many people. Roy doesn't care if the adaptation is like the source material. Jon watched the Toei Animation version of The Little Mermaid from the 70's. Should the little mermaid have died at the end? Do we want more dark content for children? We spend 5 minutes being really mushy talking about how we love each other so much. We'll do a Disney Robin Hood episode if we start a Patreon for bonus content. Join the chaos of the YM&T Facebook group and help us choose movies for Roy and Jon to watch and subscribe to their podcast on your favorite platform or see all of Jon's meticulous show notes on their blog. Then rate it 5 stars.
March 07, 2022
The Little Mermaid
Listener discretion advised on this one because the conversation goes in some... interesting directions. But we're back! Tonal difference from Hannibal to Disney. Mads-curious. The history of Disney post Sleeping Beauty to now (note: in the episode Andy incorrectly says Sleeping Beauty came out in 1969 when it came out in 1959, putting Little Mermaid at 30, not 20, years later. He has been appropriately disciplined). Jeffrey Katzenberg, co-founder of Quibi. The genius of Howard Ashman and the "I want" song. This is Disney's Goldfinger-- the template movie for all other future successes. Sexuality in The Little Mermaid. Do mermen have penises? Andy's creepy crush on Ariel and Christina Ricci. JB's carwash theory. Ursula is a BOSS. Mencken is amazing. Making this a more explicit trans/queer allegory. Give Ariel another song. Next week, MORE Little Mermaid, and this time with guests! See Brooke's TikTok where it paired her with Rapunzel:
February 28, 2022
The End of Hannibal -- Hannibal Season 3 / Hannibal Rising
Gaelen is back for Act 3 of the show she calls "Mindf@#$ing in Three Acts"-- it's most mindf@#$ery that ever was!!! The censors were totally not paying attention. We talk about Hannibal Rising for 30 seconds and that's all there is to say about that "movie."  We ranks our best Hannibals, Will Grahams, Jack Crawfords, and Frances Dollarhydes.  Prepare for whiplash-- and next episode we're back to Disney Princesses with The Little Mermaid! (As soon as Andy's done moving) You're gonna love it!
December 21, 2021
Hannibal Season 2
Happy Thanksgiving! And we have the most seasonally appropriate television show of all time, Hannibal, and its second season. We're joined by Mads superfan Gaelen again (from our Casino Royale episode). And Brooke is making a turkey dinner! The most f@#$ed up season of network television of all time. Mads lies about English fluency. We have our MCU Mads Mikkelson dream casting. The lighting! Lighting on Netflix. Brooke doesn't like the show. We eventually bully her into agreeing it's well done.  Next time we're back with Season 3!
November 27, 2021
We're taking a break from serial murderers to celebrate Melissa's birthday-- and we're watching Barfi!! It's available on Netflix and is so beautiful. Don't listen to this episode, just go watch it! Then join us in the church of Barfi. Watch it here: We love this movie so much! Just trust us.
November 16, 2021
Hannibal Season 1
In a first, we're covering a tv show? And it's in so many ways better than some of the movies. Bryan Fuller. The triad of Hannibal, Will, and Jack. Freddy Lounds gender swapping. Get the kids out of the house to watch this show. Alana Bloom's growth as a character. GILLIAN ANDERSON, MVP OF EVERYTHING. That Mads Mikkelson tho.  Next week-- BARFI!! Watch it on Netflix because it is amazing!
November 14, 2021
No Time To Die
Remember when we were a James Bond podcast? Well, here we are! The 25th official Bond movie (and technically the 49th episode of Season 1) and we're all here to talk about it. THERE ARE SPOILERS, and we talk about the ending very early on. We update our previous reviews from a few weeks ago. Rami Malek is still a weak villain. That ending and why the movie (and the series) doesn't work unless it ends that way. We stan Ana De Armas as Paloma. She is the new Sharkey. OF COURSE we talk about where the series goes from here and who the new Bond should be. Next up, back to Hannibal and the tv show, season 1!!
November 03, 2021
Red Dragon
It's the final Anthony Hopkins performance as Hannibal Lecter in the remake of Manhunter. Brett Ratner. Milli Vanilli biopic ideas. A wild Melissa appears! Is this movie better than Manhunter? Lesbian porn. Andy is pre-emptively cancelling himself and Mark.  Next week is No Time to Die!
October 18, 2021
Candyman 2021 (and no spoilers quick No Time to Die!)
You can tell we were meh about this movie we took forever to talk about it. To hear about Candyman, go directly to minute 20. Before that? Intros. People are slinging fire on this episode. "Spin the Black Circle." Non-spoilery thoughts on No Time to Die range from meh to maybe the best Bond ever. Mark and Andy's excellent adventure seeing it in a theater.   Finally, Candyman. There are good things to like in here, but it's not exactly put together right.  Next week. . . Red Dragon? Or Bond? Who knows?!?! IT'S CHAOS!!! (If you listen on Spotify, go vote in the poll!)
October 12, 2021
Free Guy
We take a weird random turn to talk about a movie about franchises versus new, original intellectual property. "Original" but not really? Are we living in a simulation? Movie theater experience. Albuquerque Boiled Turkey. Focus Groups.  Next up, Candyman? Or maybe back to Bond? When do we get back to Hannibal? IT'S CHAOS. We don't know.
October 10, 2021
It's time for the eponymous episode. Misunderstanding Clarice Starling. The most dude-bro movie yet. Clarice the tv show. Hannibal is a dirty old man. How much worse this movie could've been. Wait until the Hannibal tv show.  Thanks again to D9 for our music. Subscribe to his YouTube channel for fresh beats every day: Next week, we return to the Tooth Fairy story with Red Dragon.
September 26, 2021
The Silence of the Lambs
This isn't the first classy, Oscar-winning movie we've covered, even though Andy says it is. The boys are seeing a different Dr. Lecter than the women. Jack Crawford is a bad man. Andy has never seen Rambo II. We all idolize Hannibal too much and Claire Starling too little. Everyone gets to be smart. Emily Vanderwerff's article on why Silence of the Lambs is her favorite movie and why we shouldn't lock problematic movies behind content walls. Thanks to D9 for the music. Check out his youtube channel: and subscribe!
September 17, 2021
We hunted the man, and we found not only director Michael Mann, but also Mark! He's back to talk about why he loves Hannibal and tell us stories of the old days when he saw this movie in the theater and it only cost a nickel! Also Melissa and Brooke have no names in this episode and are only "Female Podcast Host 1 and 2" per Michael Mann's moviemaking directions. We also talk about Ted Lasso and Yellowstone and Dino de Laurentis. You're also going to want to stick around to hear the box office for this movie and the 20 other movies out that week. It will make you understand why this got relegated to "cult" status. Also, that scene with the tiger! And colors that mean things! And weird shootouts at the end! We're going to watch this same story several times, so get ready to compare which is better. Thanks to D9 for his music! Go subscribe to his YouTube channel for daily beats and livestreams with retro gaming! His song "Sliding" is featured on this week's episode. Go listen to it! It will make you feel feelings! (And the opening theme song for the Hannibal series is "Lotion" by The Greenskeepers because I know everyone is going to ask what that song is.) Next week prepare for The Silence of the Lambs by checking out Blank Check's episode with Emily Vanderwerff and for even more homework, her article "How do you solve a problematic movie?" on Vox which starts with "I am a trans woman, and I love The Silence of the Lambs. I know, I know, I know. I shouldn’t." And it only gets better from there.
September 07, 2021
Candyman: Farewell to Flesh and Day of the Dead (don't watch these terrible sequels)
These movies are terrible. But we explain exactly what happens in them? Sort of.  Special thanks to D9 for the music in this episode. Also, news about what we're doing next! (Spoiler: it's Hannibal time! Next week, Michael Mann's Manhunter)
August 30, 2021
Candyman (1992)
Say his name five times in a mirror, and the Candyman will murder you. We really enjoyed looking back on this film before the new one comes out. Thanks, Brooke! Also thanks to Andy's brother Dan, aka D9, for his music! D9 wrote the theme song from Season 1 we used for our James Bond series, and now we're using his beats as the background theme music for this Candyman series and our upcoming Hannibal series. You can check out his music AND DAILY LIVESTREAMS on YouTube at ! Thanks Dan!!!
August 26, 2021
Straight Talk and Joyful Noise
It's a Dolly Double Feature, but sadly these movie are not great. Andy's follow-up feelings on Ted Lasso. Melissa has gigabit internet. And calls JB "the James Woods of the podcast" and now we're fighting. Recasting James Woods? More musical numbers, please. More DOLLY please. "Fix Me, Jesus" is a song about the script. Next week-- CANDYMAN.
August 11, 2021
Summer Franchise Rundown Delta Variant Edition
Taking a break from Dolly to talk about what's keeping us sane and making us happy (or in a few cases confounded and angry) in all things franchises. We start with one of the biggest franchises of all: Superman. Why Superman and Lois is amazing television. Ted Lasso. Black Widow. MCU fatigue? Theaters? Space Jam. No, seriously, Brooke, this is the actual plot of Space Jam: A New Legacy. Jungle Cruise. What's worth going to theaters for? A few other things here and there.  Our schedule for the rest of August (fingers crossed): 1 more episode of Dolly Parton: Joyful Noise / Straight Talk Candyman Candyman sequels Candyman reboot (assuming movie theaters are still open and this isn't delayed) Now go watch Ted Lasso and have yourselves a good cry!
August 03, 2021
Steel Magnolias
Danielle joins us! You should watch her stream on Twitch at Both Brooke and Danielle have performed Steel Magnolias on stage. The sexual politics of this movie. The racial politics of this movie. The remake/does it need to be remade? Apologies for any editing issues in this episode. There were some technical glitches, but hopefully this works.
July 26, 2021
RHINESTONE!! Roy and Jon join us from Yours, Mine, and Theirs: they reviewed this with Mark last year. Andy loves that episode because Mark flips tables over the Chuck Norris movie Top Dog. Listen to it here! We apologize that Mark is missing, but he shows up 47 minutes in! We also apologize for noisy children in our backgrounds. We won't say whose house this was, but we can all agree it's an improvement over Andy's fire alarm beeping. Cobra/Copland. Was that the biopic of composer Aaron Copland? The government is silencing Rhinestone! Drinkenstein. Script problems, a copy of a copy. Is this movie better without Stallone?  A long tangent about Field of Dreams and baseball movies. We disagree about The Sandlot. Also soccer. And Ted Lasso. We also go on long tangents about: Nicholas Cage/8mm, Ishtar/Elaine May, Citizen Kane, MCU/superhero fatigue, the future of movies and theaters, Rashoman, BEZOS IN SPACE!! We probably talked more about Ishtar than Rhinestone? Listen and subscribe to Yours, Mine, and Theirs at or join their Facebook group and participate in their polls to choose their next movies!
July 11, 2021
The Best Little *Podcast* in Texas
Content Warning: LANGUAGE. Steve Rogers would have a real problem with this episode. Folks, we've got a problem. We've got a WHOREHOUSE, right here in Texas! Based on the actual true events around the Chicken Ranch in La Grange, TX, instead we have singing and dancing, Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, and naked football player choreography! This episode brought to you by Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz. Not as dirty as we would've thought. PG movies with boobs - AIRPLANE!! (We use the phrase "cum dumpster" once and then repeat it many times by the end of the episode. We're very, very, very sorry) Andy is obsessed with Channing Tatutm. Burt Reynolds vs. Dolly Parton.  Racism. In the Heights. Next week RHINESTONE. PS- We are happy to announce that this will be the final episode with beeping in the background. Andy's landlord finally brought over a 30 foot ladder to get up to the smoke detectors on the vaulted ceilings. Those responsible for the beeping have been sacked. BEEP!
June 23, 2021
9 to 5
Dolly and Lily Tomlin ARE Disney Princesses. Why isn't this on Disney Plus? Melissa erased her VHS copy. MAGNETS. We need a copy because we got the Moderna vaccine. Melissa's grandma. Andy forgot TONS of this movie. Possible sequel. Dabney Coleman is peak early 80's dad. Let's talk about Roz. We have a QUESTION for Patricia Resnick. Andy apologizes for his fire alarms.
June 14, 2021
Sleeping Beauty
We're so happy to have Dr. Sarah Hanisko on this episode! You should listen to Geek Parenting Podcast and watch her on Twitch at We have lots of disagreement on this episode over whether we like this movie or not! Everyone agrees Aurora is not the main character (and why that's terrible). Comparisons to Maleficent. Don Bluth. Movies that made us cry so much.  We owe an apology to Roy and Jon at Yours, Mine and Theirs for not having them on to talk about princesses. Go listen to their podcast instead, especially this episode with 3 of Brooke's favorite movies! Brooke is guesting next week too, and JB for 2 episodes after that! We're really really sorry for not talking princesses, but Roy will be here for Rhinestone.  Next week we start with Dolly Parton and 9 to 5! Pull out your VCR and watch it!
June 01, 2021
Alice in Wonderland
Featuring special guest Kelly from the Animanicast-- the world's biggest fan of the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney. Our favorite Disneyland rides. Mark wonders if this is like that "Alice in Underpants" movie he saw? We keep getting distracted by Brooke's kitty. Alice has more agency than a princess, but keeps getting gaslit, talked over, and shut down. Get better songs.  Studio notes. This was a box office bomb.  Alice's D&D character sheet.
May 26, 2021
We're all back and we are all celebrating our animal versions in the movie. The 1977 porn version? Mark wants to know why no pants? Mark has lots of weird hot takes on this movie. Disney almost goes bankrupt--again. The Princess Formula. Discussions about mice and duck genitalia. Mark's terrible prequel ideas. We promise next week we'll be better behaved. Why we're talking about Alice in Wonderland even though she's not a princess. Brooke is going to guest on Yours, Mine & Theirs! Go check them out discussing movies that made Brooke!
May 19, 2021
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Brooke loves Snow White. JB hates Snow White. Andy has lots of Snow White facts. Who will win? Feminism-- let's get some men in here to discuss it! Is this movie more problematic or secretly feminist? Walt Disney was essentially a crazy person. The old crone queen was the best. Also the crow. Rejected dwarf names. True love's kiss and consent. Disneyland ride remake. Dad Joke The Ride-- now with less racism!  Are Disney Princesses actually getting less progressive? Article from Cracked: Andy's Dungeons & Dragons character sheet for Snow White.
May 13, 2021
Blade Trinity
This movie is hot garbage. Signed, Blade. On a Post-It note. The David Goyer rabbit hole. Who choked who? Racism? He had it comin'! Misogyny and tropes. Andy won't say the one line. Brooke will use that word, but only in romantic situations with Parker Posey. Rumors aside, Wesley Snipes seems to be a pleasant person now. What We Do in the Shadows and Wellington Paranormal. So many studio notes.  Next week we start Disney Princesses with Snow White. Note: JB does not accept the spelling "Dwarfs."
May 04, 2021
Blade 2 and Oscars 2021
Oscar talk! Wolfwalkers vs. Soul. Movie gift baskets. Top Pixar movies. Why we love Wolfwalkers. Anti-colonialism. Should we do a Cartoon Saloon Trilogy? (Secret of Kells, Song of the Sea, Wolfwalkers) Colonialism. Rick Santorum. Local Texas elections, police reform. In Memorium fails. Best Actor categories. Netflix pushed the wrong movies. The Academy Awards are an archaic system that perpetuates white supremacy. Oscar always rewarding things to make up for past snubs.  We finally talk Blade 2 around minute 48. Nyssa is great, but why did she die? Will they/won't they dynamic. Nomak was in a boy band! JB is mistaken about the score. Soundtrack. How JB and Andy saw this movie for the first time. Editing movies in Utah. Vampire language. Donnie Yen. Honey Wagons. Parker Posey next week. The box office. Studio notes. Why are we scared of old, veiny vampires? Best songs. Appropriate for children?
April 28, 2021
Welcome to Season 2! We're talking about Blade, the 1998 Wesley Snipes vampire Marvel movie. Reactions when this movie came out. The history of Marvel in movies. David Goyer. Wesley Snipes. Studio notes. Next week is Blade II! SPOILER ALERT: the last 2 minutes of the episode we talk minor spoilers from last week's Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Sorry. Listen to Black Men Can't Jump [in Hollywood]'s episode on Blade.
April 23, 2021
The Power of One
Content/Trigger Warning: racism, Apartheid, violence and abuse, especially towards children and animals. We're discussing Daniel Craig's first on-screen role as a Nazi Afrikaaner in the white savior drama The Power of One. This was a tough movie to watch. Unexplored female characters. White saviors. Misuse of Morgan Freeman. Great soundtrack tho. Can studio notes save this movie? Would we show it to children?
April 15, 2021
Atomic Blonde
It's the penultimate episode of Season 1 as we wrap up Bond by asking, "What if Bond, but Charlize Theron?" Starting with Europe / Peter Schilling. Charlize Theron producing based on a comic book. "It cost $30 million and it looks like a million bucks." -- Andy.   Is this a female Bond movie? Better than a Bond movie. The male gaze. The soundtrack and what is the theme song? Next we transition from Bond to Blade with The Power of One.
April 08, 2021
Mark has a bone to pick with Andy and JB for being mean to SPECTRE. But first, Batwoman talk. Long tracking shots. Sam Smith. Should this have been two movies? This movie is so Extra. Blofeld is SUPER Extra. Lots of Hot Priest talk. A startling discovery on The Poseidon Theory that explains one of this film's most egregious flaws. Next week: Atomic Blonde!
March 30, 2021
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
We're distracted by our cameras. Vaccine showdown: Pfizer vs. Moderna! Cannibalism chat!  Armie Hammer is maybe just a psychopath. And a rapist. The plot. . . was this just boring? Not Guy Ritchie enough. Thin characters. Weak villains. Low stakes. Andy still likes it! Why no sequel. LET CAVILL AND HAMMER MAKE OUT ON SCREEN, DAMMIT. The chase scenes and 3 different special effects teams.  We lost Andy for a minute but he's back. Seeing his "O" face.  Production hell for this movie. Box Office. Studio Notes.  Check out Mark on Yours, Mine, and Theirs talking about his movies that made Mark and The Crow Must Go On: movies where the main actor died and had to be replaced.
March 26, 2021
A word about Irish Nachos. We all love Skyfall. Sam Mendes as a director, Auteur Theory. Silva is the best villain. We love Eve Moneypenny. Albert Finney. Shooting for China and the int'l box office. A long discussion about box office and whether going to movie theaters will survive post pandemic. 
March 18, 2021
Dead Man
It’s a special JB birthday episode as we talk about the 1996 Jim Jarmusch black and white western DEAD MAN. No, it’s not a superhero movie. It’s the most non-franchise movie ever. William Blake and poetry. Total sausage fest. Native American representation. Finishing out Season 1 with James Bond and what's happening on Yours, Mine and Theirs with Mark and Andy guesting over the next few months. Next week-- James Bond will return in SKYFALL.
March 02, 2021
The State of the Franchise 2021
It's our first annual look at the year before us and planning on which franchises we want to talk about through the rest of the year. It's going to be a very feminist year, with women-led films and a lot of surprise diversity among actors and. . . even some of them foreign films! TWO foreign trilogies, in fact! We hash it all out and you'll have to listen to what franchises we decide to kiss goodbye next!
February 09, 2021
Good Mark Hunting
JB ruins the podcast again, starting a running joke about penis plates? Why Mark wanted to watch Good Will Hunting. Why these characters are compelling. Chronic pain. The genesis of the script. As Good As It Gets and Titanic at the Oscars. The 1997 Box Office. Boogie Nights changed Brooke. A long discussion about theater-going and why Good Will Hunting was a big box office hit in 1997 but why it might not be in 2021. A recurring Adam Sandler gag. We love Ben Affleck. Are we cancelling Casey Affleck, or Armie Hammer, or did we do this to ourselves? Is this Robin Williams’ best role? Next week is our first annual State of the Franchise where we'll decide what we want to do for Season 2.  JB’s pick for his birthday is Dead Man, the Jim Jarmusch movie with a stacked cast.
February 01, 2021
Quantum of Solace
Welcome to the first podcast of 2021! JB is here to ruin everything. Delays in the podcast and domestic insurrection. The inauguration. We’re a Chris Gaines podcast now. We’re not mad at the movie, we’re just disappointed. Mark explains how chapters work. Robert Jordan? Return of The Whillice Cut. The writers strike. Corrine the Canadian secret agent. Fights like a drunk guinea pig. Marc Forster. Jack White. Box office. Studio notes. When Vicki from Clubhouse joins the podcast. When Mark drops a pan. Best side character (not Chris Gaines). Poseidon theory. Is this a good or bad Bond movie? Is Bond a good or bad person? Coming up next episode: Mark’s Birthday choice—Good Will Hunting. After that, The State of the Franchise and how we will choose what we talk about post-James Bond. Then a JB birthday choice, which is not Glengarry Glenn Ross. Then Skyfall. Clubhouse?
January 25, 2021
Casino Royale ... with Cheese
We're now a Mads Mikkleson fan podcast, welcoming in Andy's sister Kate, her friend Gaelen, and ReturningChamp™ Melissa as our biggest Mads fans we know. Also JB and Mark are here. (We miss you, Brooke!)  It's a reboot! Is Bond the same person? Parkour. How other movies from the 2000's influenced the film. Satisfying old fans and bringing in new fans. The 2005-2006 box office landscape (Note that at one point here Andy said "George Martin instead of George Miller as the director of Happy Feet and the Mad Max movies. Ooops.) The Bourne Influence.  The disability trope. Why we love Mads as Le Chifre. Staring contest. Moist men. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd. Fridging characters still.  The box office.  Studio notes. Introducing "The Whillice Cut"-- stop Casino Royale with a happy ending on the beach after the hospital. Roll credits. The last scene gets put on the front of Quantum of Solace. Both movies are improved. Best tech/gadgets. Side characters. Best one liners/quotes Best side character Poseidon theory? Is this a good bond movie? Is bond a good person? Choosing our next franchise. Go vote in the poll in our Facebook group.
December 29, 2020
Merry Christmas, Moviehouse!
A special BONUS episode pulled out of the internet time capsule. FOUR YEARS AGO, Dec 21, 2016, Brooke and Andy sat down on another podcast and talked about It's a Wonderful Life, and this was sort of the genesis of some of the ideas we had behind this podcast. It's also just a fun conversation about mental health and the holidays, COMMUNISM, Donald Trump (we had no idea what we were in for), copyright law, and why we love this movie so much.  We're back to Bond after Christmas, but wanted to give you this in the meantime. Also, Andy just really loves this movie.
December 22, 2020
Die Another Day
This movie is terrible. Just awful. Andy, Mark, Brooke and JB break it down. Halle Berry, product placement gone wrong, bad villains, Boba Fett and The Mandalorian, Rosamund Pike, Michael Madsen, Studio notes, the box office, none of the rest of this is the "best" of any category. Madonna.  Next time, CASINO ROYALE!!
December 10, 2020
Undercover Brother
Special guest Dr. Paul White is here to discuss the blaxploitation-spy-sendup starring Eddie Griffin and Christmas Jones herself.  Sorry for the delay on this episode, but hope it was worth it!
November 29, 2020
In Remembrance of Sir Sean Connery
We gather to discuss the passing of a legend. We talk about everything, including Connery's statements and history with domestic violence.  Our favorite Connery movies, and yes we talk a lot about Bond. Favorite Connery quotes. A funny story from Michael Bay. You're the man now, dog, everyone.
November 04, 2020
The World is Not Enough
The World is Not Enough. . . it's simply sort of "meh." People are mad at Andy's article on Bleeding Cool about Tom Hardy as James Bond. Check out Brooke's Great F@#$ing Relationships Podcast aka GFR. Happy National Coming Out Day. Mark might start a podcast for his library. Shushing. Brooke never saw this movie until this week. Andy's first theater experience with the movie. Terrible Russian in this movie. Would you rather watch a bad Bond movie or a mediocre Bond movie. Brooke talks about Existential Kink.  Next episode is Undercover Brother!
October 13, 2020
Austin Powers
We cover all three movies! (apologies for some audio issues. We blame Kreplackistani rebels.) Lots of memories of 1997, 1999, and 2002. Secret Jamba Juice recipes. (10 oz cranberry juice, 2 scoops raspberry sherbet, 1 scoop frozen raspberries, 1 scoop frozen strawberries.) Dr. Evil is the main character. Super gay content.  Next week James Bond returns in The World is Not Enough.
September 29, 2020
Tomorrow Never Dies
Public service announcement: Everyone should vote! Make sure you're registered: go to HowTo.Vote, brought to you by our partners at Democracy Works. The Dallas Cowboys. Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft. All hail Michelle Yeoh. Star Trek: Discovery. Section 31. Is this a good Bond movie? Manipulating media. Mark Zuckerberg. Lex Luthor. No backsies on The Batman trailer. Giancarlo Esposito. Sheryl Crow and that theme song. Teri Hatcher. Bringing back the tropes-- first girl, magic penis/deadly penis, girlfriend reward. Melissa's inappropriate laughter? Who are these helicopter pilots? These henchman are low quality. The Rock and his gate. Nightboat! We address the Tom Hardy rumors. And the prospect of having a female James Bond. Canonicity.
September 25, 2020
The Saint
It's The Saint with Val Kilmer! We're all saints, kinda. Andy talks Russia in the 90's. Choosing the girl or the mission. How many spies actually seduce people? Talking Val Kilmer means we end up talking about Batman and Iron Man. Brooke watches the teaser for The Batman for the first time. The soundtrack. Elizabeth Shue. Andy talks about energy for a long time. Energy efficiency is sexy. Go to the Facebook group and vote for a time to do a Netflix watch party for Tomorrow Never Dies!
September 14, 2020
The Simpsons - You Only Move Twice
Provo 1996 memories. When did we fall out of The Simpsons?  What is the joke? Did Homer see someone throw a show before? Marge should give it a week. Middle management. When did we realize Hank Scorpio was a supervillain? When did the Simpsons figure it out? JB knows exactly what the 1996 Denver Broncos' record was. (Andy would like to apologize to Bob's Burgers because he makes it sound like there isn't much going on with network primetime animation and should've brought it up. D'oh.) Next episode is The Saint starring Val Kilmer. 
September 07, 2020
The Rock
Welcome to The Rock. Semi jokes. A Bond film but not a Bond film. GoFundMe to get everyone high and watch movies. The Fifth Element and Provo memories. Michael Bay had promise? He cares about if he has a good time. Ed Harris, David Morse. Michael Biehn and that shower scene. Brooke is going to Montana.  Nick Cage didn't want to use cuss words. The episode of Community. Is Nick Cage good or bad?  Happy 90th birthday to Sean Connery. Best/Worst Connery movies. Ed Harris's filmography. A special appearance by Jon Madsen from Yours, Mine, and Theirs.  The Captain Darrow Playlist: Andy's Weak Ass Contributions: Rick James - Give It To Me Baby The Gap Band - You Dropped a Bomb on Me Prince - When Doves Cry Dr. Dre - Keep Their Heads Ringin' Tupac - California Love Too $hort - Pimpology (technically a JB addition) (not included on the podcast but added later:) Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah! Got You All in Check Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name Danzig - Mother Henry Rollins - Liar Tool - 46 & 2 Alice in Chains - Them Bones Mark's Hard Ass Shit: Shoop – Salt N’ Peppa Juicy – Notorious B.I.G. It Was A Good Day – Ice Cube Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta – Geto Boys No Diggity – BLACKstreet Poison – Bell Biv Devoe Fuck Tha Police – N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton – N.W.A. Panic Zone – N.W.A. Gin and Juice – Snoop Dogg Brooke's Soft Ass Shit:  End Of The Road - Boyz II Men  Master And Servant- Depche Mode  The Freaks Come Out At Night- Whodini  Prison Sex- Tool  Closer - NIN  Cold Hearted - Paula Abdul  Beautiful People - Marilyn  Hooker With A Penis- Tool Rat In A Cage - Smashing Pumpkins  Fuck The Police- NWA  Hurt- NIN  I Will Always Love You- Whitney Detachable Penis - King Missle JB's beats: The box office and how summer movie blockbusters have changed from 1996 to today. Side characters. Studio Notes. We forgot the car chase and the cable car driver!! One liners. Gadgets.  This isn't a Bond podcast anymore, it's just about Provo in the 90's. Next episode is The Simpsons - You Only Move Twice.
August 31, 2020
The amazing Kay-B joins us to tell us we're wrong about Goldeneye and it is not a great Bond movie. We break the gender barrier with more women on the podcast than men, which is appropriate for Judi Dench joining as M. She owns this movie. The Best Marketed Movie of 1995. The N64 video game. In defense of Xenia. The deconstruction of Bond. Andy keeps screeching the podcast to a halt.  The next 3 episodes we're taking a break from Bond to cover: The Rock The Simpsons - "You Only Move Twice" The Saint And we'll return with Tomorrow Never Dies after that.
August 24, 2020
The Hunt for Red October
This is not a Bond movie, but a response to Bond. Because Sean Connery. How we were all exposed to this movie. The BYU Varsity Cinema editing movies. Cleanflicks.  Melissa kept waiting for Denzel to show up. Mark loves Crimson Tide too!  Brooke's fire alarm goes off! I don't know what Sean Connery is speaking, but it's not Russian.  Next week is back to Bond and Goldeneye! You can watch it on Netflix! w
August 17, 2020
License to Kill (nee Licence to Kill)
We have converts! Danke Bond. Sex Pyramid. Non-latino actors playing Latino characters.  Great villains. Benecio Del Toro sighting. Is that the one about the hooker with dystentery? Beating girlfriends. Fridging women. Sharks! RIP Sharkey. We love Pam. Andy loves Law and Order. An excellent conversation about representation of Latinos in media. A less impressive discussion about Eon Productions' "bloodless coup" and why they didn't do another Dalton Bond movie. The semi and stunts. We need Mythbusters episodes on everything in this movie. Electric eels. Pressure chamber head explosion. Perfect circle holes from shotguns. Bad Spanish throwing in. Cyanide capsules. Theme songs. Dalton's hair is the Least Valuable Player. The Bond HR department. Want more darkness behind MI-6. This movie had lots of crotch shots.  Poor Felix.  We need Doug to come in and authenticate this semi stunt. Stick around after for the Jon Madsen report. Want to leave your own comment and have it end up on an episode? Leave one for us at
August 02, 2020
The Living Daylights - cool cool cool
Welcome to the cool side of this McDLT, where we have returning champ Melissa, Candice back from her appearance on the Live and Let Die episode, and Doug and Sarah Willoughby from our Moonraker and On Her Majesty's Secret Service episodes. Mark still hates the movie. Straying from the formula-- old and new Bond don't necessarily mesh. Brad Whitaker is a weak villain. Kara is a weak Bond girl, but is she top 5? Who are the worst? A more nuanced take on her character. A long discussion on the ferris wheel scene-- trigger warnings for discussions of rape, sexual assault. Doug's John Rhys Davies story.  Is this actually the "meh?" side of the podcast?  Andy is being unfair about loving Lazenby.  This is an ok James Bond movie. Is Bond a good person? Remember how he founded al Qaeda?
July 25, 2020
The Living Daylights - Hot Hot Hot!
Welcome back to Jon and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs as we channel the 1987 McDonald's classic the McDLT and keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool. Welcome to the hot side.  We argue about whether this is a good movie or not. Also, is this the first instance of side nipple in Bond? Why Andy likes this-- the darkness and the critique of the military-industrial complex. Brooke likes it too because it sets us up for more serious Bond movies later. But it feels like a made for tv movie.  Drinking the sand. Everybody wants to watch Andy's version of this movie, but this is not good.  Reboots and why Daniel Craig's hard reboot worked. Could Brosnan have fixed this? Bad side characters, weak villains. Techno Bond, the theme song. Andy's dog wants Roger Moore back. Forgettable credits. Blowing the nipple budget. The Ferris Wheel is kinda rapey. Box office The Poseidon theory. . .? How tall are the Bonds? Studio notes! The cello. . . car skis! Should we have an R-rated Bond? Andy sings Bjork for some reason. (It was because of the "ghetto blaster.") Andy's mind-canon on Roger Moore and Moneypenny. JB still really hates this movie.  Leave us a message on Anchor about how you feel about the episode, but it can only be 1 minute long! (PS- You can leave multiple messages) Special bonus at the end of the episode: Bjork! {outtakes} Andy get mad at everyone because they can't stop talking about side-boob long enough to let him start the episode. And then-- The Roy Report, featuring actually Roy's voice for 1 minute and then a computer reading more. See you on the cool side!
July 23, 2020
A View to a Kill
It's the end of the Roger Moore era with Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the baddies in. . .  dollar store knock-off Goldfinger. We welcome back returning champ Melissa as well as from Yours, Mine and Theirs Roy, Jon, and JB. There are a lot of jokes and references in this episode to the most recent episode of Yours, Mine and Theirs where Brooke guested, especially their discussion of the lesbian bondage butterfly economy movie Duke of Burgundy, so you should listen to that or if there's something you don't get, just assume that's what it's a reference to. This movie is a Taco Bell Combo. This was Jon's first Bond. Dynamite and horses on the blimps. James Bond can hold on a rope for hours. Zorin eliminates his own staff. Andy loves Gogol. Dolph Lundgren sighting! Grace Jones and Christopher Walken are the best part of this movie, but let Walken be Walken.  Rethinking the Goldfinger "magic penis" theory.  Skiing/snowboarding opening. Duran Duran. Opening credits. Terrible San Francisco chase scene vs. other iconic San Francisco movies with chases. A lesson about softshell crab. Joe Bob Briggs-- a week early! Box office. Studio notes-- we got a lot of 'em! Ranking Roger Moore's movies. Come to our Facebook group and vote on your favorite Moore movie!
July 15, 2020
Top Secret!
It's not James Bond, it's Nick Rivers! (Val Kilmer) Returning champ Melissa is back, as are Jon, Roy, and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs. Why Top Secret? When is this movie? Great singing! Very specific energy. Kilmer's career. Kilmer is hot but Ze Torch is hotter. That backwards scene and a Star Wars connection. We talk about going to high school in Provo and dedicate the podcast to one of our favorite teachers ever, Rosalie Mackay. (She probably deserves better, but we still love her). This movie is all about high effort for very little comedy Return on Investment (ROI). Our favorite French Resistance fighters. Deja Vu and Chocolate Mousse. Viva Le France!!! Our usual stuff-- box office, studio notes, favorites. Nick Rivers is a good James Bond.  Listen to Yours Mine and Theirs and join their Facebook group.  Join OUR Facebook group at Follow us on Twitter at We have an Instagram but don't use it. . . yet.  Next week, James Bond (and all of this week's guests) will return in A View to a Kill.
July 08, 2020
Never Say Never Again
Sean Connery is back! And he should've stayed gone. Returning champ Melissa joins us again.  This is a terrible movie. Why is this movie? and Kevin McClory's ability to remake Thunderball as many times as he wants.  Melissa had to watch it twice.  We remember this movie from our childhood (and other childhood theater-going experiences).  Bad 80's technology. War Games. Mark wouldn't make it into the CIA because he can't play Domination. The terrible theme song. The Bond template. The most Male Gaze-y of any Bond movie. Sean Connery's nipples. Embracing your age and getting better looking. Rowan Atkinson!  Max Von Sydow double feature with Strange Brew. Either/Either? Fatima's overly complex murders. She's the best part of the movie. They took her motorcycle away and gave it to Bond! Bond's pee. Why would Connery want to come back? Why do we even like the Bond movies if there are so many terrible ones. Brooke and Mark try to beat Andy up again about Invisible Man. Sharks! But isn't this just another mediocre white man skating along on reputation rather than actually being good? Men who secretly  like rape scenes in movies. Bond writes the Harvey Weinstein/Matt Lauer book of sexual assault. Thunderball vs. Never Say Never Again: Who did it better? Next week: Top Secret! 
June 29, 2020
We're joined by Returning Champion Melissa, who used to do a Doctor Who podcast with Mark and Andy! Her Abuelo loved these movies and she has lots of questions about why we would ever like them? We all agree (FINALLY!)-- this one is terrible. When should we cancel movies and creators? Can Melissa have a whip? We talk a LOT about not Octopussy because the movie is bad and makes no sense. Things that are making us happy and other movies, books, and podcasts.
June 22, 2020
Black Lives Matter
Taking a break from James Bond to acknowledge *gestures vaguely* all of this. Our regular crew welcome a team of some of our favorite Black geeks and experts to talk about all of the media from Black creators that have shaped America, have shaped us. Because Black Lives Matter, and Black Culture is American Culture, and so many of the things we love come from Black creatives. Find Jay Whittaker @ItsJayWhittaker on Twitter and Instagram. Check out Full Feather Friday every week! Find Kay-B @TheLadyKayB on Twitter and Instagram. Find Dr. Paul White on Twitter at @Dr_Zil_Roars Find Sandee Moore on Insta  at s_morebeauty  We talk movies, tv, and a host of other things we love. How film criticism/promotion reinforces structural racism. What's a franchise you'd resurrect? Shout out to other Black creators we love to follow: Brian D Johnson: insta: BJ The Dreamer Dupe Aleru: Insta: dupealeru Porscha Newton: insta: porscha_newton VIranda Michelle: insta: virandamichelle Prince Rafael: insta: tweetfromnext Karen Rodriguez La Paz: Insta: krod_gold Tabitha Brown: Insta: iamtabithabrown Support The Movement For Black Lives by reading their demands and finding more about how to join in their Juneteenth mass mobilization at Find a local mutual aid society and donate to them or to local groups working to bail activists out of jail.
June 14, 2020
For Your Ears Only
Welcome to our partner for June, the Freaky Geeks Podcast, part of the Geek Nerd Network (GNN). Check them out here or wherever fine podcasts are sold.  Jon from Yours, Mine, and Theirs is back! Check them out, and Andy, Mark and Brooke should be guesting on there in the next few weeks.  For Your Eyes Only - it's a mess, but some of us have fond memories associated with it. Sheena Easton! Her performance at the Oscars is incredible. The opening scene with "Blofeld." We hate Bibi. Melina has resting revenge face. Old Man Moore. Watcher in the Woods and bad parenting.  The Most Star Wars Bond movie. More Poseidon evidence.  Flash Gordon + Empire Strikes Back = ? Playboy flower girls. Bond. . . is a good person in this movie? Mountain climbing. Preview of Yours, Mine and Theirs, and reminder to check out Safe Words Aloud.  On Her Majesty's Secret Podcast will return in. . . Octopussy. 
June 03, 2020
The {Blank} {Blank} (Secret Episode!)
It's Brooke's birthday, so we take a break from James Bond to talk about one of her favorite movies ever. Guesses on what that movie is. No one guessed it. Why we love this movie. What's problematic AF about it. Behind the scenes history. Box office. How we would reboot or remake. What are our other favorite rom-coms? Why don't we make them any more? Why are they not more diverse? 
May 26, 2020
Moonraker (on Cough Syrup)
Brooke is high on sizzurup and you can tell because she liked Moonraker. We're joined by returning champs Sarah and Doug. Everyone in this movie is two opposite things. Why there are letters on mountains in Utah. Brooke REALLY wants to talk about the theme song, but first, skydiving. "Fly Me To the Moon" would've been great. Birds were DEFINITELY harmed in the making of this movie. But her being mauled by dogs was shot so artfully. Enter the Michael G. Wilson. Bringing a wooden sword to a glass room Bond fight.  So many bits.  Chemistry with Dr. Goodhead. The Jaws/Clown head is nightmare fuel. All Latin American countries and people are the same to this movie. FINALLY we get to space. Worst. Space Battle. EVER. Our next episode is a secret!
May 19, 2020
The Spy Who Loved Me
Andy serenades us with Nobody Does It Better. Brooke did NOT like this movie while Mark and Andy both think it's the best Roger Moore movie. Is it boring? Cinematography. JAWS! We make a mistake about which Adam Sandler movie Richard Kiel was in. Naomi, tho. She was also in the Adam Ant "Goody Two Shoes" video: Mark needs a GoFundMe to buy the Wet Nellie from Elon Musk. We almost forgot about Stromberg. . . because he's a forgettable villain. Avery Brooks. Go watch Picard and Discovery. We all agree on our studio notes at least!
May 11, 2020
The Man With the Golden Gun
Christopher Lee, tho. 20 minutes of us fawning over Christopher Lee and then 20 minutes of us hating on Sheriff Pepper.  The AMC Hornet and the slide whistle. Mitt Romney! The women in this movie are horribly written. Nick Nack, tho! Scaramanga has a point that he and Bond are the same, only he's getting paid. Solar energy myths and facts. Every artist in the early 70's who could do a better theme song than Lulu, and a few that couldn't. 
May 04, 2020
Zardoz! (Content and Trigger Warning for this episode: sexual assault and discussion of rape and assault). We blame Mark for making us watch this. Rape alarm! No, it's just Facetime. Did we see an edited version of this movie? The BYU Cougar Theatre showed edited movies - Did Andy and Brooke see The Hunt For Red October there? This plot is inexplicable, but we try to explain it anyway. Why do you have a magic ring that can show you anything and still have a bad animation of an erection? Tying sex and violence together is bad. Throwing bread at zombies from a rickshaw is a thing in the future, apparently. Could've solved all of these problems if these three had just boned. Did Connery look younger? Weird parallels to The Man With the Golden Gun. 
May 01, 2020
Live and Let Die
We’re joined by Candace who loves James Bond thanks to her mom. Mr. Big has a big payroll and big revolving door budget. Favorite fashion decades. Blaxploitation. Rosie’s agency vs. Solitaire’s agency. Trigger warning: discussion of sexual assault and rape. And wackiness/hijinks. Kananga’s death. Sheriff Pepper is THE WORST. More rape discussion (it gets a little heavy, folks). Random observations. A giant fight about Paul McCartney and the theme song. Box Office. Studio Notes.  Stick around after the end for Baby Alligator sounds and a guy singing "Yesterday" with a baby alligator from
April 20, 2020
011 - Our Podcast Flint
Andy and Mark take on Derek Flint (James Coburn) in the Bond-inspired spy movies Our Man Flint and In Like Flint.  More Austin Powers connections.  Derek Flint is a Mary Sue. The Mediocre Seven. A long tangent about westerns, James Mangold, and Wolverine. Derek Flint is very American! Batgirl or Lily Munster? Flint vs. Batman '66. Just two dudes deciding whether something is feminist or not. Day of the Dolphin. Still better than Casino Royale. Mark thinks he could kick Coburn's ass. Respect to bouillabaisse accuracy. Look-- it's Hans Gruber! Why is this positive on Rotten Tomatoes? Next up are Live and Let Die, Zardoz and so on with the Moore movies. Lee J. Cobb is the Angriest of the 12 Angry Men. 
April 13, 2020
Diamonds/Connerys are Forever
Jon from Yours, Mine and Theirs is back to talk Diamonds are Forever. He also has a new podcast where he reads audiobooks that don’t exist called Safe Words Aloud (Apple link—other links below).  What if Bert Reynolds or Adam West had been Bond? Sean Connery got PAID. Should we watch Zardoz? Go to the Facebook group and vote for it you want it.  Vegas in its 60’s glory. Jimmy Dean. Bambi and Thumper. Howard Hughes. Charles Grey – the best Blofeld? Also the worst and dumbest Blofeld. Overly complicated diamond smuggling plot. Helicopter quota? SLOW car chase. Chris Elliot – Get a Life. Chris Elliot Cinematic Universe. Shirley Bassey and the theme song. Kidd and Wint are definitely gay. Thanks, I hate them! Dune buggy escape. Our best astronaut actors. Did you know Bryan Cranston played Gus Grissom? Jumping the shark. Is Blofeld a good guy? How did we forget Tiffany Case? Bad gadgets. Blofeld in drag. Is this movie braless? Saying goodbye to Connery. Has the franchise never really set up Blofeld properly?  Yours Mine and Theirs is getting weird with their newest poll on concert movies - go vote. Youtube playlist of Jon reading latest book.
April 06, 2020
On Her Majesty's Secret Podcast
George Lazenby - we stan a legend. And we bring in guests Sarah and Doug to talk this movie and cars! The other fellow. Lazenby's history. King of the haymakers. The porn parody. Is Bond Poseidon? No one says no to Diana Rigg. Bond's blonde partner is hopeless. The Int'l House of Allergic Women. Sexism? In a BOND movie? Why does Blofeld care about being a lord? Genealogy - I am doing it! Long skiing sequences. Sarah's guide to surviving a blizzard. Helicopters. A Defense of Little Nelly by Doug. Long bobsled rides. Should Bond cry? Slave contracts. PR tours. 
March 31, 2020
Darby O'Gill and the Little (Mandela Effect) People
QUICK! SOMEBODY CHANGED DARBY O'GILL!! Featuring special guest Dr. Debra! Watch her Ted Talk here! Watch Bond on PlutoTV now. But seriously, Brooke remembers this movie totally differently. It was The Gnome Mobile. They're called "The Mary Poppins children." The Parent Trap gives us trust issues. Scary Disney. Audio proof that the Disney+ version of Darby O'Gill and the Little People isn't the same. (Andy had more thoughts on this on Bleeding Cool) Is this feminist? Half a Bechdel. Pretty Irish Girl is a pretty great theme song. Our wishes. Stay safe!
March 17, 2020
Casino Not So Royale
Andy and Mark take on the not at all funny "spoof" Casino Royale starring David Niven, Peter Sellers, and Ursula Andress. What even is this movie? It's not funny. Peter Sellers peaces out. The Look of Love. Austin Powers. Orson Welles. Don't watch this movie. Daniel Craig and Eva Green. We spend almost more time talking about Knives Out than Casiso Royale. What do we do with the extra 10 weeks of podcast? Jack Ryan? Let us know in the Facebook group or leave us a voice message! New theme song by Danny Wilson//D9 Robot (subscribe to his YouTube channel here for more beats and remixes) and remixed/produced for the podcast by Andy. 
March 13, 2020
You Only Live Twice ... aka Ninjas in Volcanoes
The regular crew is back, Brooke is bored, Mark loves Japanese culture, and Andy is disturbed by screenwriter Roald Dahl. John Barry and the score. Bond's not really dead?!?! The middle section of the movie is so boring we just talk about The Rock for 5 minutes because his grandpa is in the movie. Bond probably agrees with DJ Khaled. Why is Bond anti-redhead? Ninjas in volcanoes! (finally). Best lines, best side characters. Introducing: Studio Notes! Our next two episodes are Casino Royale (1967) and Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Last week to vote in our poll for what to name this podcast series: Also, don't forget to vote for real! It's Super Tuesday! (We already all voted early and discuss who we voted for. Andy is cancelling Brooke and Mark forever for voting for the wrong people. Like Blofeld, he doesn't tolerate failure or dissent. . .) You can watch Casino Royale on HBO Go and Darby O'Gill on Disney+
March 03, 2020
Welcoming guests old and new-- Roy, JB and now Jon from Your, Mine and Theirs. Why this podcast is called Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye. Star Wars Prequel Talk! Thunderball! What is a thunderball? Why Jon likes Domino. Largo. Gendered guns, swimming. VARGAS! An uncomfortable discussion about underwater sex. Blofeld. Paula. Fiona. Fiona's bike. Andy tries to defend The Living Daylights. Legal intrigue! Warhead 1999! Thunderball's box office.
February 24, 2020
Andy, Brooke and Mark sing a lot about Goldfinger. Trgger warning for rape and sexual assault. That theme song. A duck? Disposable and replaceable (brown) women. Oddjob's many hats. The return of Wolf Mankeweitz. We love the Masterson sisters. The car. James Bond's magic penis. Now Goldfinger has a hat! He loves GOLD!
February 20, 2020
From Russia With Love
With Special Guests Roy Fillmore and JB Flinders from Yours, Mine and Theirs podcast. Mark is back as our Pedro Armendáriz but Brooke is out sick. Why Andy loves Yours, Mine and Theirs. Living Daylights hate. A-ha vs. Duran Duran. HANK SCORPIO. Andy loves The Cold War. And trains. The periscope. Russian lessons. Diagetic soundtracks. The women of From Russia With Love were less strong characters except for Rosa Klebb. Belly dancing and the Superbowl Halftime Show.  The video game! Pedro Armendariz and Robert Shaw. We're just a Jaws podcast now. And Star Wars. And Rocky IV. Side characters make the movie. Films are better when directors and productions are constrained. When will Bond turn off the shower! DJ Fog Machine suitcase. Mary Poppins. Bond: the girl or the mission? Changing views of the "secret agent" type from heroic to "necessary evils."
February 11, 2020
Dr. No
Andy, Brooke, and Mark take on the first Bond movie, Dr. No. But first, vote on what this season of the podcast should be called by joining our Facebook Group: History of the James Bond film rights from Ian Fleming to Harry Saltzman and Albert Broccoli. No, this story is NOT made up. Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Dr. No is great. What is with Three Blind Mice? The first 20 minutes are amazing. Take Brooke to Vegas. Felix Leiter is a Backstreet Boy. The spider scene and Attack of the Clones. Orientalism and yellowface. Honey Rider knows lots of things. Sean Connery's process. What is Dr. No's plan again? How Mark would get in trouble at church. Dr. No? YES!
February 05, 2020
Bond, James Bond
Our pilot episode of "Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye" we discuss the history of the Bond films, our best/worst films, Bonds, theme songs, and others. Join host Andy Wilson, Brooke Heym, and Mark De Leon as we begin a discussion of the Bond franchise and what makes it still resonate seven decades in.
January 30, 2020