Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

It's the penultimate episode of Season 1 as we wrap up Bond by asking, "What if Bond, but Charlize Theron?" Starting with Europe / Peter Schilling. Charlize Theron producing based on a comic book. "It cost $30 million and it looks like a million bucks." -- Andy.   Is this a female Bond movie? Better than a Bond movie. The male gaze. The soundtrack and what is the theme song? Next we transition from Bond to Blade with The Power of One.

Mark has a bone to pick with Andy and JB for being mean to SPECTRE. But first, Batwoman talk. Long tracking shots. Sam Smith. Should this have been two movies? This movie is so Extra. Blofeld is SUPER Extra. Lots of Hot Priest talk. A startling discovery on The Poseidon Theory that explains one of this film's most egregious flaws. Next week: Atomic Blonde!

We're distracted by our cameras. Vaccine showdown: Pfizer vs. Moderna! Cannibalism chat!  Armie Hammer is maybe just a psychopath. And a rapist. The plot. . . was this just boring? Not Guy Ritchie enough. Thin characters. Weak villains. Low stakes. Andy still likes it! Why no sequel. LET CAVILL AND HAMMER MAKE OUT ON SCREEN, DAMMIT. The chase scenes and 3 different special effects teams.  We lost Andy for a minute but he's back. Seeing his "O" face.  Production hell for this movie. Box Office. Studio Notes.  Check out Mark on Yours, Mine, and Theirs talking about his movies that made Mark and The Crow Must Go On: movies where the main actor died and had to be replaced.

A word about Irish Nachos. We all love Skyfall. Sam Mendes as a director, Auteur Theory. Silva is the best villain. We love Eve Moneypenny. Albert Finney. Shooting for China and the int'l box office. A long discussion about box office and whether going to movie theaters will survive post pandemic. 

It’s a special JB birthday episode as we talk about the 1996 Jim Jarmusch black and white western DEAD MAN. No, it’s not a superhero movie. It’s the most non-franchise movie ever. William Blake and poetry. Total sausage fest. Native American representation. Finishing out Season 1 with James Bond and what's happening on Yours, Mine and Theirs with Mark and Andy guesting over the next few months. Next week-- James Bond will return in SKYFALL.

It's our first annual look at the year before us and planning on which franchises we want to talk about through the rest of the year. It's going to be a very feminist year, with women-led films and a lot of surprise diversity among actors and. . . even some of them foreign films! TWO foreign trilogies, in fact! We hash it all out and you'll have to listen to what franchises we decide to kiss goodbye next!

JB ruins the podcast again, starting a running joke about penis plates? Why Mark wanted to watch Good Will Hunting. Why these characters are compelling. Chronic pain. The genesis of the script. As Good As It Gets and Titanic at the Oscars. The 1997 Box Office. Boogie Nights changed Brooke. A long discussion about theater-going and why Good Will Hunting was a big box office hit in 1997 but why it might not be in 2021. A recurring Adam Sandler gag. We love Ben Affleck. Are we cancelling Casey Affleck, or Armie Hammer, or did we do this to ourselves? Is this Robin Williams’ best role? Next week is our first annual State of the Franchise where we'll decide what we want to do for Season 2.  JB’s pick for his birthday is Dead Man, the Jim Jarmusch movie with a stacked cast.

Welcome to the first podcast of 2021! JB is here to ruin everything. Delays in the podcast and domestic insurrection. The inauguration. We’re a Chris Gaines podcast now. We’re not mad at the movie, we’re just disappointed. Mark explains how chapters work. Robert Jordan? Return of The Whillice Cut. The writers strike. Corrine the Canadian secret agent. Fights like a drunk guinea pig. Marc Forster. Jack White. Box office. Studio notes. When Vicki from Clubhouse joins the podcast. When Mark drops a pan. Best side character (not Chris Gaines). Poseidon theory. Is this a good or bad Bond movie? Is Bond a good or bad person? Coming up next episode: Mark’s Birthday choice—Good Will Hunting. After that, The State of the Franchise and how we will choose what we talk about post-James Bond. Then a JB birthday choice, which is not Glengarry Glenn Ross. Then Skyfall. Clubhouse?

We're now a Mads Mikkleson fan podcast, welcoming in Andy's sister Kate, her friend Gaelen, and ReturningChamp™ Melissa as our biggest Mads fans we know. Also JB and Mark are here. (We miss you, Brooke!)  It's a reboot! Is Bond the same person? Parkour. How other movies from the 2000's influenced the film. Satisfying old fans and bringing in new fans. The 2005-2006 box office landscape (Note that at one point here Andy said "George Martin instead of George Miller as the director of Happy Feet and the Mad Max movies. Ooops.) The Bourne Influence.  The disability trope. Why we love Mads as Le Chifre. Staring contest. Moist men. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd. Fridging characters still.  The box office.  Studio notes. Introducing "The Whillice Cut"-- stop Casino Royale with a happy ending on the beach after the hospital. Roll credits. The last scene gets put on the front of Quantum of Solace. Both movies are improved. Best tech/gadgets. Side characters. Best one liners/quotes Best side character Poseidon theory? Is this a good bond movie? Is bond a good person? Choosing our next franchise. Go vote in the poll in our Facebook group.

A special BONUS episode pulled out of the internet time capsule. FOUR YEARS AGO, Dec 21, 2016, Brooke and Andy sat down on another podcast and talked about It's a Wonderful Life, and this was sort of the genesis of some of the ideas we had behind this podcast. It's also just a fun conversation about mental health and the holidays, COMMUNISM, Donald Trump (we had no idea what we were in for), copyright law, and why we love this movie so much.  We're back to Bond after Christmas, but wanted to give you this in the meantime. Also, Andy just really loves this movie.

This movie is terrible. Just awful. Andy, Mark, Brooke and JB break it down. Halle Berry, product placement gone wrong, bad villains, Boba Fett and The Mandalorian, Rosamund Pike, Michael Madsen, Studio notes, the box office, none of the rest of this is the "best" of any category. Madonna.  Next time, CASINO ROYALE!!

Special guest Dr. Paul White is here to discuss the blaxploitation-spy-sendup starring Eddie Griffin and Christmas Jones herself.  Sorry for the delay on this episode, but hope it was worth it!

We gather to discuss the passing of a legend. We talk about everything, including Connery's statements and history with domestic violence.  Our favorite Connery movies, and yes we talk a lot about Bond. Favorite Connery quotes. A funny story from Michael Bay. You're the man now, dog, everyone.

The World is Not Enough. . . it's simply sort of "meh." People are mad at Andy's article on Bleeding Cool about Tom Hardy as James Bond. Check out Brooke's Great F@#$ing Relationships Podcast aka GFR. Happy National Coming Out Day. Mark might start a podcast for his library. Shushing. Brooke never saw this movie until this week. Andy's first theater experience with the movie. Terrible Russian in this movie. Would you rather watch a bad Bond movie or a mediocre Bond movie. Brooke talks about Existential Kink.  Next episode is Undercover Brother!

We cover all three movies! (apologies for some audio issues. We blame Kreplackistani rebels.) Lots of memories of 1997, 1999, and 2002. Secret Jamba Juice recipes. (10 oz cranberry juice, 2 scoops raspberry sherbet, 1 scoop frozen raspberries, 1 scoop frozen strawberries.) Dr. Evil is the main character. Super gay content.  Next week James Bond returns in The World is Not Enough.

Public service announcement: Everyone should vote! Make sure you're registered: go to HowTo.Vote, brought to you by our partners at Democracy Works. The Dallas Cowboys. Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft. All hail Michelle Yeoh. Star Trek: Discovery. Section 31. Is this a good Bond movie? Manipulating media. Mark Zuckerberg. Lex Luthor. No backsies on The Batman trailer. Giancarlo Esposito. Sheryl Crow and that theme song. Teri Hatcher. Bringing back the tropes-- first girl, magic penis/deadly penis, girlfriend reward. Melissa's inappropriate laughter? Who are these helicopter pilots? These henchman are low quality. The Rock and his gate. Nightboat! We address the Tom Hardy rumors. And the prospect of having a female James Bond. Canonicity.

It's The Saint with Val Kilmer! We're all saints, kinda. Andy talks Russia in the 90's. Choosing the girl or the mission. How many spies actually seduce people? Talking Val Kilmer means we end up talking about Batman and Iron Man. Brooke watches the teaser for The Batman for the first time. The soundtrack. Elizabeth Shue. Andy talks about energy for a long time. Energy efficiency is sexy. Go to the Facebook group and vote for a time to do a Netflix watch party for Tomorrow Never Dies!

Provo 1996 memories. When did we fall out of The Simpsons?  What is the joke? Did Homer see someone throw a show before? Marge should give it a week. Middle management. When did we realize Hank Scorpio was a supervillain? When did the Simpsons figure it out? JB knows exactly what the 1996 Denver Broncos' record was. (Andy would like to apologize to Bob's Burgers because he makes it sound like there isn't much going on with network primetime animation and should've brought it up. D'oh.) Next episode is The Saint starring Val Kilmer. 

Welcome to The Rock. Semi jokes. A Bond film but not a Bond film. GoFundMe to get everyone high and watch movies. The Fifth Element and Provo memories. Michael Bay had promise? He cares about if he has a good time. Ed Harris, David Morse. Michael Biehn and that shower scene. Brooke is going to Montana.  Nick Cage didn't want to use cuss words. The episode of Community. Is Nick Cage good or bad?  Happy 90th birthday to Sean Connery. Best/Worst Connery movies. Ed Harris's filmography. A special appearance by Jon Madsen from Yours, Mine, and Theirs.  The Captain Darrow Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0NDA2hPIndjEpZHTfkTKNt?si=1pAGG7r9RiGn2QVSf16uhg Andy's Weak Ass Contributions: Rick James - Give It To Me Baby The Gap Band - You Dropped a Bomb on Me Prince - When Doves Cry Dr. Dre - Keep Their Heads Ringin' Tupac - California Love Too $hort - Pimpology (technically a JB addition) (not included on the podcast but added later:) Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah! Got You All in Check Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name Danzig - Mother Henry Rollins - Liar Tool - 46 & 2 Alice in Chains - Them Bones Mark's Hard Ass Shit: Shoop – Salt N’ Peppa Juicy – Notorious B.I.G. It Was A Good Day – Ice Cube Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta – Geto Boys No Diggity – BLACKstreet Poison – Bell Biv Devoe Fuck Tha Police – N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton – N.W.A. Panic Zone – N.W.A. Gin and Juice – Snoop Dogg Brooke's Soft Ass Shit:  End Of The Road - Boyz II Men  Master And Servant- Depche Mode  The Freaks Come Out At Night- Whodini  Prison Sex- Tool  Closer - NIN  Cold Hearted - Paula Abdul  Beautiful People - Marilyn  Hooker With A Penis- Tool Rat In A Cage - Smashing Pumpkins  Fuck The Police- NWA  Hurt- NIN  I Will Always Love You- Whitney Detachable Penis - King Missle JB's beats: https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/candyman-wields-bees-but-tony-todd-rocks-the-beatles.html/ The box office and how summer movie blockbusters have changed from 1996 to today. Side characters. Studio Notes. We forgot the car chase and the cable car driver!! One liners. Gadgets.  This isn't a Bond podcast anymore, it's just about Provo in the 90's. Next episode is The Simpsons - You Only Move Twice.

The amazing Kay-B joins us to tell us we're wrong about Goldeneye and it is not a great Bond movie. We break the gender barrier with more women on the podcast than men, which is appropriate for Judi Dench joining as M. She owns this movie. The Best Marketed Movie of 1995. The N64 video game. In defense of Xenia. The deconstruction of Bond. Andy keeps screeching the podcast to a halt.  The next 3 episodes we're taking a break from Bond to cover: The Rock The Simpsons - "You Only Move Twice" The Saint And we'll return with Tomorrow Never Dies after that.

This is not a Bond movie, but a response to Bond. Because Sean Connery. How we were all exposed to this movie. The BYU Varsity Cinema editing movies. Cleanflicks.  Melissa kept waiting for Denzel to show up. Mark loves Crimson Tide too!  Brooke's fire alarm goes off! I don't know what Sean Connery is speaking, but it's not Russian.  Next week is back to Bond and Goldeneye! You can watch it on Netflix! w

We have converts! Danke Bond. Sex Pyramid. Non-latino actors playing Latino characters.  Great villains. Benecio Del Toro sighting. Is that the one about the hooker with dystentery? Beating girlfriends. Fridging women. Sharks! RIP Sharkey. We love Pam. Andy loves Law and Order. An excellent conversation about representation of Latinos in media. A less impressive discussion about Eon Productions' "bloodless coup" and why they didn't do another Dalton Bond movie. The semi and stunts. We need Mythbusters episodes on everything in this movie. Electric eels. Pressure chamber head explosion. Perfect circle holes from shotguns. Bad Spanish throwing in. Cyanide capsules. Theme songs. Dalton's hair is the Least Valuable Player. The Bond HR department. Want more darkness behind MI-6. This movie had lots of crotch shots.  Poor Felix.  We need Doug to come in and authenticate this semi stunt. Stick around after for the Jon Madsen report. Want to leave your own comment and have it end up on an episode? Leave one for us at anchor.fm

Welcome to the cool side of this McDLT, where we have returning champ Melissa, Candice back from her appearance on the Live and Let Die episode, and Doug and Sarah Willoughby from our Moonraker and On Her Majesty's Secret Service episodes. Mark still hates the movie. Straying from the formula-- old and new Bond don't necessarily mesh. Brad Whitaker is a weak villain. Kara is a weak Bond girl, but is she top 5? Who are the worst? A more nuanced take on her character. A long discussion on the ferris wheel scene-- trigger warnings for discussions of rape, sexual assault. Doug's John Rhys Davies story.  Is this actually the "meh?" side of the podcast?  Andy is being unfair about loving Lazenby.  This is an ok James Bond movie. Is Bond a good person? Remember how he founded al Qaeda?

Welcome back to Jon and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs as we channel the 1987 McDonald's classic the McDLT and keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVcVXTeHTLI Welcome to the hot side.  We argue about whether this is a good movie or not. Also, is this the first instance of side nipple in Bond? Why Andy likes this-- the darkness and the critique of the military-industrial complex. Brooke likes it too because it sets us up for more serious Bond movies later. But it feels like a made for tv movie.  Drinking the sand. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKTqS4bXugg Everybody wants to watch Andy's version of this movie, but this is not good.  Reboots and why Daniel Craig's hard reboot worked. Could Brosnan have fixed this? Bad side characters, weak villains. Techno Bond, the theme song. Andy's dog wants Roger Moore back. Forgettable credits. Blowing the nipple budget. The Ferris Wheel is kinda rapey. Box office The Poseidon theory. . .? How tall are the Bonds? Studio notes! The cello. . . car skis! Should we have an R-rated Bond? Andy sings Bjork for some reason. (It was because of the "ghetto blaster.") Andy's mind-canon on Roger Moore and Moneypenny. JB still really hates this movie.  Leave us a message on Anchor about how you feel about the episode, but it can only be 1 minute long! (PS- You can leave multiple messages) Special bonus at the end of the episode: Bjork! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFinPHgLUXc {outtakes} Andy get mad at everyone because they can't stop talking about side-boob long enough to let him start the episode. And then-- The Roy Report, featuring actually Roy's voice for 1 minute and then a computer reading more. See you on the cool side!

It's the end of the Roger Moore era with Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the baddies in. . .  dollar store knock-off Goldfinger. We welcome back returning champ Melissa as well as from Yours, Mine and Theirs Roy, Jon, and JB. There are a lot of jokes and references in this episode to the most recent episode of Yours, Mine and Theirs where Brooke guested, especially their discussion of the lesbian bondage butterfly economy movie Duke of Burgundy, so you should listen to that or if there's something you don't get, just assume that's what it's a reference to. This movie is a Taco Bell Combo. This was Jon's first Bond. Dynamite and horses on the blimps. James Bond can hold on a rope for hours. Zorin eliminates his own staff. Andy loves Gogol. Dolph Lundgren sighting! Grace Jones and Christopher Walken are the best part of this movie, but let Walken be Walken.  Rethinking the Goldfinger "magic penis" theory.  Skiing/snowboarding opening. Duran Duran. Opening credits. Terrible San Francisco chase scene vs. other iconic San Francisco movies with chases. A lesson about softshell crab. Joe Bob Briggs-- a week early! Box office. Studio notes-- we got a lot of 'em! Ranking Roger Moore's movies. Come to our Facebook group and vote on your favorite Moore movie!

It's not James Bond, it's Nick Rivers! (Val Kilmer) Returning champ Melissa is back, as are Jon, Roy, and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs. Why Top Secret? When is this movie? Great singing! Very specific energy. Kilmer's career. Kilmer is hot but Ze Torch is hotter. That backwards scene and a Star Wars connection. We talk about going to high school in Provo and dedicate the podcast to one of our favorite teachers ever, Rosalie Mackay. (She probably deserves better, but we still love her). This movie is all about high effort for very little comedy Return on Investment (ROI). Our favorite French Resistance fighters. Deja Vu and Chocolate Mousse. Viva Le France!!! Our usual stuff-- box office, studio notes, favorites. Nick Rivers is a good James Bond.  Listen to Yours Mine and Theirs and join their Facebook group.  Join OUR Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/ Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/KissYoFranchise We have an Instagram but don't use it. . . yet.  Next week, James Bond (and all of this week's guests) will return in A View to a Kill.

Sean Connery is back! And he should've stayed gone. Returning champ Melissa joins us again.  This is a terrible movie. Why is this movie? and Kevin McClory's ability to remake Thunderball as many times as he wants.  Melissa had to watch it twice.  We remember this movie from our childhood (and other childhood theater-going experiences).  Bad 80's technology. War Games. Mark wouldn't make it into the CIA because he can't play Domination. The terrible theme song. The Bond template. The most Male Gaze-y of any Bond movie. Sean Connery's nipples. Embracing your age and getting better looking. Rowan Atkinson!  Max Von Sydow double feature with Strange Brew. Either/Either? Fatima's overly complex murders. She's the best part of the movie. They took her motorcycle away and gave it to Bond! Bond's pee. Why would Connery want to come back? Why do we even like the Bond movies if there are so many terrible ones. Brooke and Mark try to beat Andy up again about Invisible Man. Sharks! But isn't this just another mediocre white man skating along on reputation rather than actually being good? Men who secretly  like rape scenes in movies. Bond writes the Harvey Weinstein/Matt Lauer book of sexual assault. Thunderball vs. Never Say Never Again: Who did it better? Next week: Top Secret! 

We're joined by Returning Champion Melissa, who used to do a Doctor Who podcast with Mark and Andy! Her Abuelo loved these movies and she has lots of questions about why we would ever like them? We all agree (FINALLY!)-- this one is terrible. When should we cancel movies and creators? Can Melissa have a whip? We talk a LOT about not Octopussy because the movie is bad and makes no sense. Things that are making us happy and other movies, books, and podcasts.

Taking a break from James Bond to acknowledge *gestures vaguely* all of this. Our regular crew welcome a team of some of our favorite Black geeks and experts to talk about all of the media from Black creators that have shaped America, have shaped us. Because Black Lives Matter, and Black Culture is American Culture, and so many of the things we love come from Black creatives. Find Jay Whittaker @ItsJayWhittaker on Twitter and Instagram. Check out Full Feather Friday every week! Find Kay-B @TheLadyKayB on Twitter and Instagram. Find Dr. Paul White on Twitter at @Dr_Zil_Roars Find Sandee Moore on Insta  at s_morebeauty  We talk movies, tv, and a host of other things we love. How film criticism/promotion reinforces structural racism. What's a franchise you'd resurrect? Shout out to other Black creators we love to follow: Brian D Johnson: insta: BJ The Dreamer Dupe Aleru: Insta: dupealeru Porscha Newton: insta: porscha_newton VIranda Michelle: insta: virandamichelle Prince Rafael: insta: tweetfromnext Karen Rodriguez La Paz: Insta: krod_gold Tabitha Brown: Insta: iamtabithabrown Support The Movement For Black Lives by reading their demands and finding more about how to join in their Juneteenth mass mobilization at https://sixnineteen.com/ Find a local mutual aid society and donate to them or to local groups working to bail activists out of jail.

Welcome to our partner for June, the Freaky Geeks Podcast, part of the Geek Nerd Network (GNN). Check them out here or wherever fine podcasts are sold.  Jon from Yours, Mine, and Theirs is back! Check them out, and Andy, Mark and Brooke should be guesting on there in the next few weeks.  For Your Eyes Only - it's a mess, but some of us have fond memories associated with it. Sheena Easton! Her performance at the Oscars is incredible. The opening scene with "Blofeld." We hate Bibi. Melina has resting revenge face. Old Man Moore. Watcher in the Woods and bad parenting.  The Most Star Wars Bond movie. More Poseidon evidence.  Flash Gordon + Empire Strikes Back = ? Playboy flower girls. Bond. . . is a good person in this movie? Mountain climbing. Preview of Yours, Mine and Theirs, and reminder to check out Safe Words Aloud.  On Her Majesty's Secret Podcast will return in. . . Octopussy. 

It's Brooke's birthday, so we take a break from James Bond to talk about one of her favorite movies ever. Guesses on what that movie is. No one guessed it. Why we love this movie. What's problematic AF about it. Behind the scenes history. Box office. How we would reboot or remake. What are our other favorite rom-coms? Why don't we make them any more? Why are they not more diverse? 

Brooke is high on sizzurup and you can tell because she liked Moonraker. We're joined by returning champs Sarah and Doug. Everyone in this movie is two opposite things. Why there are letters on mountains in Utah. Brooke REALLY wants to talk about the theme song, but first, skydiving. "Fly Me To the Moon" would've been great. Birds were DEFINITELY harmed in the making of this movie. But her being mauled by dogs was shot so artfully. Enter the Michael G. Wilson. Bringing a wooden sword to a glass room Bond fight.  So many bits.  Chemistry with Dr. Goodhead. The Jaws/Clown head is nightmare fuel. All Latin American countries and people are the same to this movie. FINALLY we get to space. Worst. Space Battle. EVER. Our next episode is a secret!

Andy serenades us with Nobody Does It Better. Brooke did NOT like this movie while Mark and Andy both think it's the best Roger Moore movie. Is it boring? Cinematography. JAWS! We make a mistake about which Adam Sandler movie Richard Kiel was in. Naomi, tho. She was also in the Adam Ant "Goody Two Shoes" video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o41A91X5pns Mark needs a GoFundMe to buy the Wet Nellie from Elon Musk. We almost forgot about Stromberg. . . because he's a forgettable villain. Avery Brooks. Go watch Picard and Discovery. We all agree on our studio notes at least!

Christopher Lee, tho. 20 minutes of us fawning over Christopher Lee and then 20 minutes of us hating on Sheriff Pepper.  The AMC Hornet and the slide whistle. Mitt Romney! The women in this movie are horribly written. Nick Nack, tho! Scaramanga has a point that he and Bond are the same, only he's getting paid. Solar energy myths and facts. Every artist in the early 70's who could do a better theme song than Lulu, and a few that couldn't. 

Zardoz! (Content and Trigger Warning for this episode: sexual assault and discussion of rape and assault). We blame Mark for making us watch this. Rape alarm! No, it's just Facetime. Did we see an edited version of this movie? The BYU Cougar Theatre showed edited movies - Did Andy and Brooke see The Hunt For Red October there? This plot is inexplicable, but we try to explain it anyway. Why do you have a magic ring that can show you anything and still have a bad animation of an erection? Tying sex and violence together is bad. Throwing bread at zombies from a rickshaw is a thing in the future, apparently. Could've solved all of these problems if these three had just boned. Did Connery look younger? Weird parallels to The Man With the Golden Gun. 

We’re joined by Candace who loves James Bond thanks to her mom. Mr. Big has a big payroll and big revolving door budget. Favorite fashion decades. Blaxploitation. Rosie’s agency vs. Solitaire’s agency. Trigger warning: discussion of sexual assault and rape. And wackiness/hijinks. Kananga’s death. Sheriff Pepper is THE WORST. More rape discussion (it gets a little heavy, folks). Random observations. A giant fight about Paul McCartney and the theme song. Box Office. Studio Notes.  Stick around after the end for Baby Alligator sounds and a guy singing "Yesterday" with a baby alligator from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPsfzXPVsJs

Andy and Mark take on Derek Flint (James Coburn) in the Bond-inspired spy movies Our Man Flint and In Like Flint.  More Austin Powers connections.  Derek Flint is a Mary Sue. The Mediocre Seven. A long tangent about westerns, James Mangold, and Wolverine. Derek Flint is very American! Batgirl or Lily Munster? Flint vs. Batman '66. Just two dudes deciding whether something is feminist or not. Day of the Dolphin. Still better than Casino Royale. Mark thinks he could kick Coburn's ass. Respect to bouillabaisse accuracy. Look-- it's Hans Gruber! Why is this positive on Rotten Tomatoes? Next up are Live and Let Die, Zardoz and so on with the Moore movies. Lee J. Cobb is the Angriest of the 12 Angry Men. 

Jon from Yours, Mine and Theirs is back to talk Diamonds are Forever. He also has a new podcast where he reads audiobooks that don’t exist called Safe Words Aloud (Apple link—other links below).  What if Bert Reynolds or Adam West had been Bond? Sean Connery got PAID. Should we watch Zardoz? Go to the Facebook group and vote for it you want it.  Vegas in its 60’s glory. Jimmy Dean. Bambi and Thumper. Howard Hughes. Charles Grey – the best Blofeld? Also the worst and dumbest Blofeld. Overly complicated diamond smuggling plot. Helicopter quota? SLOW car chase. Chris Elliot – Get a Life. Chris Elliot Cinematic Universe. Shirley Bassey and the theme song. Kidd and Wint are definitely gay. Thanks, I hate them! Dune buggy escape. Our best astronaut actors. Did you know Bryan Cranston played Gus Grissom? Jumping the shark. Is Blofeld a good guy? How did we forget Tiffany Case? Bad gadgets. Blofeld in drag. Is this movie braless? Saying goodbye to Connery. Has the franchise never really set up Blofeld properly?  Yours Mine and Theirs is getting weird with their newest poll on concert movies - go vote. https://safewordsaloud.blogspot.com/ Youtube playlist of Jon reading latest book.

George Lazenby - we stan a legend. And we bring in guests Sarah and Doug to talk this movie and cars! The other fellow. Lazenby's history. King of the haymakers. The porn parody. Is Bond Poseidon? No one says no to Diana Rigg. Bond's blonde partner is hopeless. The Int'l House of Allergic Women. Sexism? In a BOND movie? Why does Blofeld care about being a lord? Genealogy - I am doing it! Long skiing sequences. Sarah's guide to surviving a blizzard. Helicopters. A Defense of Little Nelly by Doug. Long bobsled rides. Should Bond cry? Slave contracts. PR tours. 

QUICK! SOMEBODY CHANGED DARBY O'GILL!! Featuring special guest Dr. Debra! Watch her Ted Talk here! Watch Bond on PlutoTV now. But seriously, Brooke remembers this movie totally differently. It was The Gnome Mobile. They're called "The Mary Poppins children." The Parent Trap gives us trust issues. Scary Disney. Audio proof that the Disney+ version of Darby O'Gill and the Little People isn't the same. (Andy had more thoughts on this on Bleeding Cool) Is this feminist? Half a Bechdel. Pretty Irish Girl is a pretty great theme song. Our wishes. Stay safe!

Andy and Mark take on the not at all funny "spoof" Casino Royale starring David Niven, Peter Sellers, and Ursula Andress. What even is this movie? It's not funny. Peter Sellers peaces out. The Look of Love. Austin Powers. Orson Welles. Don't watch this movie. Daniel Craig and Eva Green. We spend almost more time talking about Knives Out than Casiso Royale. What do we do with the extra 10 weeks of podcast? Jack Ryan? Let us know in the Facebook group or leave us a voice message! New theme song by Danny Wilson//D9 Robot (subscribe to his YouTube channel here for more beats and remixes) and remixed/produced for the podcast by Andy. 

The regular crew is back, Brooke is bored, Mark loves Japanese culture, and Andy is disturbed by screenwriter Roald Dahl. John Barry and the score. Bond's not really dead?!?! The middle section of the movie is so boring we just talk about The Rock for 5 minutes because his grandpa is in the movie. Bond probably agrees with DJ Khaled. Why is Bond anti-redhead? Ninjas in volcanoes! (finally). Best lines, best side characters. Introducing: Studio Notes! Our next two episodes are Casino Royale (1967) and Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Last week to vote in our poll for what to name this podcast series: https://www.facebook.com/groups/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/ Also, don't forget to vote for real! It's Super Tuesday! (We already all voted early and discuss who we voted for. Andy is cancelling Brooke and Mark forever for voting for the wrong people. Like Blofeld, he doesn't tolerate failure or dissent. . .) You can watch Casino Royale on HBO Go and Darby O'Gill on Disney+

Welcoming guests old and new-- Roy, JB and now Jon from Your, Mine and Theirs. Why this podcast is called Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye. Star Wars Prequel Talk! Thunderball! What is a thunderball? Why Jon likes Domino. Largo. Gendered guns, swimming. VARGAS! An uncomfortable discussion about underwater sex. Blofeld. Paula. Fiona. Fiona's bike. Andy tries to defend The Living Daylights. Legal intrigue! Warhead 1999! Thunderball's box office.

Andy, Brooke and Mark sing a lot about Goldfinger. Trgger warning for rape and sexual assault. That theme song. A duck? Disposable and replaceable (brown) women. Oddjob's many hats. The return of Wolf Mankeweitz. We love the Masterson sisters. The car. James Bond's magic penis. Now Goldfinger has a hat! He loves GOLD!

With Special Guests Roy Fillmore and JB Flinders from Yours, Mine and Theirs podcast. Mark is back as our Pedro Armendáriz but Brooke is out sick. Why Andy loves Yours, Mine and Theirs. Living Daylights hate. A-ha vs. Duran Duran. HANK SCORPIO. Andy loves The Cold War. And trains. The periscope. Russian lessons. Diagetic soundtracks. The women of From Russia With Love were less strong characters except for Rosa Klebb. Belly dancing and the Superbowl Halftime Show.  The video game! Pedro Armendariz and Robert Shaw. We're just a Jaws podcast now. And Star Wars. And Rocky IV. Side characters make the movie. Films are better when directors and productions are constrained. When will Bond turn off the shower! DJ Fog Machine suitcase. Mary Poppins. Bond: the girl or the mission? Changing views of the "secret agent" type from heroic to "necessary evils."

Andy, Brooke, and Mark take on the first Bond movie, Dr. No. But first, vote on what this season of the podcast should be called by joining our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/ History of the James Bond film rights from Ian Fleming to Harry Saltzman and Albert Broccoli. No, this story is NOT made up. Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Dr. No is great. What is with Three Blind Mice? The first 20 minutes are amazing. Take Brooke to Vegas. Felix Leiter is a Backstreet Boy. The spider scene and Attack of the Clones. Orientalism and yellowface. Honey Rider knows lots of things. Sean Connery's process. What is Dr. No's plan again? How Mark would get in trouble at church. Dr. No? YES!

Our pilot episode of "Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye" we discuss the history of the Bond films, our best/worst films, Bonds, theme songs, and others. Join host Andy Wilson, Brooke Heym, and Mark De Leon as we begin a discussion of the Bond franchise and what makes it still resonate seven decades in.