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Conversations with Kiwi

Conversations with Kiwi

By Lauren Hillard
Conversations with Kiwi it’s either this or that, yes or no, you want it or nah.
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Debits and Credits, I think so?
You get out only what you put in. Does sweat equity count for anything? Does everyone have to do the same thing? If I give you Yin, can you give me Yang? It could all be so simple. H O W E V E R, this is far beyond simple for that is to low, chin to the ceiling, do you see the glimmer glow? To the top, don’t ever drop below.
June 3, 2021
Risk the Opportunity
If you quit your job today, will HR call you in 37 days and ask “Hey, how are you?” Nah, that’s wild and rabid my guy. If you leave, then leave. If you say it’s a strategic decision to be committed to the mission and vision. Where the dignity? Have some respect and uphold the choices made. In sickness and health. For better or worse, til death do us part.
May 20, 2021
Palo Santo P2
That’s sus sis. What the terms and conditions say? What methods to the madness have you produced? Is there a bigger conversation? Did you express your expectations? Can you switch up the tempo? Please upload latest update of the code of conduct and accept terms and condition.
April 28, 2021
Supply Chain
First of all, let’s do better with counting. Accounting. To take account dammit. The letters of the alphabet are in order. Numerically speaking 1+1=2, but 2+2=5. They say, “From beginning to end, each school, every den. We do it all. Every Spring, every Fall.”
April 10, 2021
Hit the Lotto
Everybody has a part, just know and stay in your lane. Perhaps I said this before, but repetition is key. If you bail on a crisis are you really bout that life? You can only prove to your how tough you are. Are you built for the dream you’ve constructed? You signed up for a Spartan Race, but didn’t train. If you’re mediocre, cool. Get in the game without stretching. Proceed with caution, results may vary.
April 10, 2021
Musical Chairs
Let’s not say “It is what it is.” Let’s say “It’s not what it use to be.” I can slam on breaks at any moment, so for the sake of safe driving get off my ass! I can not condone these behaviors. The memory of what was haunts me, making the crutch of “hope” weak. Remember in your life there was a moment in time that you had peace. Is your peace disturbed by someone else’s chaos?
March 11, 2021
Deception As: ?
I walked along the shore. The sand was lava. Rocks look like Mars, no? It’s a crusty, dusty, funky rock. Size does matter. Please faq’n stop. Crust dusty, musty fool, you crust, you must, you stick like glue. Ugh, pump it. Pump it real good, hold steady Kiwi Andretti. A good pump, a good good flow. #Draño
March 4, 2021
Sink or Swim
You can’t win on the road if you can’t win at home. You are from where they do that at, but you have not been there in so long you have no idea how to do it. Where’s your coach? Market saturation is not a concern to entities who have exceptional differentiating factors. 1 is better than zero. I can’t believe you hung up on a million dollar customer. I outta cuss yo a$$ out. If only you knew.
February 25, 2021
Job Abandonment
You didn’t call me for 3 days? You were scheduled to clean Pam’s 3/2, Thursday at 2pm. Where were you? Have you seen the meme of 3 men all holding 100 lb rice bags. Each man puts his rice bag down to help his neighbor pick up theirs. Then the cycle continues. At some point someone walks away. If you can’t pick up 100 lbs on your own, you will eventually build the strength. But if it ends how it begins Then the shape is still a circle What do you know NOW about who you knew?
February 7, 2021
Training Procedures
What’s the first step to learned how to walk? Knowing how to distribute balance of course. What’s the risk? ROI? If you skip a step what’s the worst thing that can happen? Let’s find areas of improvement and work one thing at a time
January 29, 2021
From the window to the wall, who the worst of them all? He said “don’t ever play yourself.” I guess all we need is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
January 28, 2021
Are you stuck? Do you prefer Ross or Nordstrom’s? Do we need to regroup? What’s left to be eliminated or separated? Where’s your permission slip? Maury is that you? Sprint, Hello. Can you hear me now?
January 14, 2021
Relational Intelligence
Your commitment is not confined by space. From “Brick and Mortar” or “Click and Order.” The Principles of Authority remain, get that bread and leave. Once you’ve reach the ceiling of competency, get a tutor. Work out your ish
January 12, 2021
Hmm, you want to know what I smell like. Hashtag Synethesia. I am bae, therefore, I smell like the way you look at me. I smell like those thought you have of us together. So do your homework. It’s only 300. I know it’s hard, but it’s ONLY hard because you are not specific. Be selective. Cultivate the vibe. As DC YoungFly would say “Bring that a$$ over here boi”
November 8, 2020
These Are My Intentions
Just when I thought I said all I could say. I have to get serious.
October 27, 2020
Intentionality. Dedication. Are you in bender knee. I’m P.N. Slickback. Give me my roses trick. The third strike is technically 2 because then I say bye to you. Cause and reaction, count it out. Know that you know what you gonna do about it?
October 26, 2020
Shot Clock
The pedigree of Kiwi. It’d be to know the answer. Too bad you missed the opportunity. You actually missed the mark several times. Everything you do after 17.5 years of age is on you. I never knew her or any of them. Ugh
October 19, 2020
It’s Rollin’
What is the last thing you remember doing in March? How did you feel 30 days in? Are you depressed? Do you feel fired up? Energized or Depleted? WTF have you been doing this whole time! Q4 - Go BIG or stay yo a$$ at home
October 16, 2020
Why do you belong on the list?
Have you ever read the FAQs? If you did you would have asked the question that you did. Some things don’t need to be explain because it’s inherently obvious. I will present you the facts in this case. What you do with that information is up to you. Thank you for your time.
September 24, 2020
Comfort or Comforters
What’s the thread count? Pick a, yellow, or red? Green and orange are options! But the word was Jesus is the manager so take it up with him and look within.
September 8, 2020
Friends w/o Benefits
Who you gonna break up with me? Do you know who I am? Activate recognition sequence in 5,4,3....Houston we don’t have a problem. Keep yo a$$ on the side walk.
September 5, 2020
Name the Name
Have you ever had to call someone out of their name? Pitch and tone make a difference. Don’t talk to me like you know me, talk to me like we are in the streets! What’s yo street name? Run me that G card
August 21, 2020
Watery Heat
Hello Sway, yes um I got a question. If water puts out fire and water can drown a water the solution or the problem? I didn’t mean it. Should I tell you how I will fix it? Let me call Jesus. It is above me now
August 18, 2020
Am I on Track?
Sometimes I wonder if I do not come off of the i have chosen, does that make me dedicated? Or does that mean that I do not submit to adaptation?
July 18, 2020
Some of y’all (us) are dirty by adaptation. Some of y’all (us) are weird by association. Whichever the cause, the affect can be altered. Read the warning labels and decide. Don’t say no one ever told you.
June 27, 2020
The Package
When was the last time you got left on read? I left a message west I know you’ll find it. Don’t say I didn’t say
May 23, 2020
Best Route
I know you think you’re athletic and can stutter step, shake n bake em up, double lace cross overs aren’t a thing so I’m here to tell you use your eyes, look in the mirror, and tell yourself to be patient ma’am you are not the one and you don’t have time #24hours is a lie watch me prove it.
April 21, 2020
I spent too much time in the internet. I burned a few brain cells that were important to me, but more importantly it’s not safe for us to swap spit. Ew where’s your face mask? 6ft son. What’s your status? Have you considered being a stripper? If God can move mountains, why can a MIT Grad move the solar system?
April 6, 2020
What did he really say and what did he really mean? Just because you have a voice doesn’t mean I understand your language. How childish, 5 love languages let’s get into your S.O.P.
March 30, 2020
He Said “Funky $1200?” What’s that about? Whoa derr shawty you gon have to back up off me. 6ft 7ft back it up. Check the SOP. Mmk. Hmm.
March 28, 2020
The Question
How many centimeters on a map equal a mile? Where is TRUE north and don’t use a compass!? Did you know every app is a physical product? Let’s get acclimated.
March 25, 2020
Get Tested
Would you let your Mom perish in a zombie attack? Are you gonna let her fall behind? If she says go on without me, will you follow her directions? After all mom is always correct.
March 24, 2020
I ran out of bread today, my PBJ ingredients are out of proportion! I snuck out of quarantine today and had a flashback to 1999. What did you do between ages 9-12?
March 23, 2020
You’re a Bully
She had the nerve to use opening statement “Is this real life?” Lmao if I’m dead this sucks and I’d rather be alive because y’all wildin and I’m not even shocked anymore. What’s next? This all you got, SMH.
March 22, 2020
My Momma Said
Did you know that they said They Said is actually a form of PTSD? Says who? They said it not me. Ok, They who? IDK them. Then how do you know what they said? IDK thats what They Said they said.
March 21, 2020
Terms & Conditions
Charge it to the game. You knew when you signed up what the rules of engagement were, so why you actin’ funny honey? Ohhh okay - I see how it is. Let’s call this an outlier and lay it out because your enemies are your best allies.
March 18, 2020
Fast and Fearless
We all have that friend that’s a friend but a friend friend on another level so you want to be proper friends. Have those underlying conversations. @Solangelsarria - She’s bringing sexy back - all up in your face.
March 1, 2020
Get The Bag
Cook up session with Dominique Rivers - @Knogod. We freestyle and channeled our inner Kanye on the beat. Jesus is my plus +1. What is a FRIEND and do you use it too much!?
February 16, 2020
This is the pilot podcast - an open ended tangent flow of conversation with my peers about levels, “crazy” people, and aliens? But who built the pyramids though!?
February 14, 2020