Knot 4U

Remember playing the game of telephone as a kid? When a group of friends gathered in a circle, to whisper a sentence to one another, and pass it along to laugh at how ridiculous the sentence gets by the time it's gone through several rounds of the group. In the end, the sentence/message is completely misunderstood. That's what happened to Kue recently and it wasn't nearly as fun as it was when we played telephone as kids. Join us this week to discuss how we dealt with it and how you can avoid experiencing something similar.

Do you think you would allow your ex to pick your next partner? Not on any malicious, get-back ish, really taking what they learned from being in a relationship you, and seeking that in a new partner for you. Interesting concept right?! We happened upon a show with this premise called After Happily Ever After. Their are many different relationship dynamics and an so much drama. Hell, they had Iyanla Vanzant come through to help the new and former couples unpack some issues. Overall, we really enjoyed it and highly recommend it! Join us this week to discuss this show in detail and find out if this form of dating could work.

Fifty percent of marriages in the US end in divorce, and finances has proven to be the number one reason for divorce. If money is the main issue for divorce in monogamous relationships, it can arguably be a bigger issue in polyamorous relationships. Join us this week to discuss some things we do to help us maintain financial stability while dating.

All sexual activity comes with risks, pregnancy, STIs, or STDs, so most people use barriers (condoms) for protection. The only way to truly avoid risk is to abstain from sex. I’m sure they’re some people who do, but it ain’t us! Lbs! Fluid bonding is the decision parties make to stop using barrier protection during sexual encounters, and exchange bodily fluids. What are some reasons people become fluid bonded? How do you initiate that conversation with your primary partner? Join us the episode to find out.

ENM is supposed to be a safe place, with no judgement but I’m sure as most of us have learned, that’s not always the case. This week we’re talking the many ways that we judge one another in polyamory. How can we avoid doing this in the future. Join us as we discuss ways to be more open and honest with ourselves so we can be less judgmental in our relationships

As we’ve discussed previously, the “umbrella” of ENM is quite large. Throughout our journey, we’ve noticed that some forms of ENM overlap. On our journey to polyamory, we found swinging first. Years later we learned that many people had a similar experience. Almost as if the two forms of ENM overlap. Join us this week with special guest, our friend, host of the podcast Coffee with Mrs. Crawford, Ebonie Crawford, to discuss the overlap between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory.

Anxiety has become pretty common these days for many reasons, but what is anxiety? How does it affect one mentally and emotionally? How does it affect their partners? Join us this week to discuss our journey coping with Elle’s anxiety. Mental health awareness is important to us, and we want to continue to shine a light on it. Take a listen and learn how you may be able to help someone you love better cope with their anxiety.

In this FIRST EPISODE OF 2023 we are gonna dive deep into this viral TikTok that posed the question, Why men choose the "Plain Jane" over the "Pretty Girl" to settle down with?

We’ve never shied away from sharing things we’ve done wrong along our journey. Hell, that’s one of the reasons we created the show. Our thought process has always been, if we worked through it [poly struggles and growing pains] and grew stronger, maybe we can save some people heartache, so they don’t have go through it. With that being said, in this episode we’ll be letting you all in a little more. We’re going to share some specific mistakes we’ve made, the reasons we felt we made them, and how we feel we could’ve avoided them. You won’t want to miss it!

Have you ever experienced building a connection with someone, thinking things are going well, then responses to text messages and phone calls become slower, then you start getting excuses for them not having time for you. Then boom, they just vanish. Well, that act is known as ghosting. Over the years, it’s become much more common. So much so that, one of the major music channels created a tv series about it titled, Ghosted: Love Gone Missing. Why do you think ghosting has become so common? Why do you think people ghost? How does someone deal with being ghosted? Check out this episode where we discuss all this and more!

Y’all know we try to keep things fresh, so this week, we wanted to play a game. Not just any game, as seen on VICE, BuzzFeed, and Glamour, {THE AND} is a card game for couples designed to create a space of openness, honesty, and vulnerability with no judgement. Join us as we dig deeper into our relationship and share a little more about ourselves. I hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed playing!

I feel in recent years, I’ve learned that our dynamic, hierarchical polyamory, is frowned upon. I damn near feel like most ppl would put hierarchical polyamory in the ghetto barrel with unicorn hunters. Lmao! Sad, but true. So what does hierarchical polyamory mean to you? We’re going to talk about what it means to us, as well as some of the negative connotations that come with it.

Just like there are red flags in mono dating, there are red flags when dating poly. Let’s be honest, if you’re not a good person, it doesn’t matter if you’re in one relationship or multiple relationships simultaneously, your relationship(s) will likely be shitty because you are! This episode we talk about some common red flags in polyamory.

We created our podcast to educate POC on ENM, specifically polyamory. One of the main things that inspired us to do it was the MANY f*ck ups we made along the way. There was no user manual for ENM for us. We didn’t even know there was a community, so we wanted to bring awareness and education to it. My goal is to help some ppl avoid the mistakes we’ve made in our journey. With that being said, we came across a commercial for this season of TLC’s Seeking Sister-wives. Since I know very little about polygamy, and saw several POC, I decided to check it out and babyyyyyyy, it’s something else! There are four couples, one black couple, one mixed couple, and two white couples. Each dynamic is quite different which made me even more curious about it. So I did some research and found that as with polyamory, polygamy has many misconceptions. This got me thinking about the many instances of the miseducation of ENM. What do you do when you see miseducation of ENM? Are we correcting the mistakes, or continuing to have the masses misinformed? Let’s talk about it!

We all have had partners who feel they got that good good... but is it really? In this episode we talk about the MANY way one may know they got that WAP or that weak meat!!

Knowing and embracing someone’s love language(s) can be the ultimate cheat code for dating. Paying attention to the little things that make your partner happy can get you far! But what are the 5 love languages? Do you know your partner(s) love languages? How do you ensure you’re catering to your them? Join us this week when we dive into knowing and embracing your partner(s) love languages.

Let’s talk consent. Everyone needs it, so why don’t we talk about it more in polyamory and ENM? We openly talk about the importance of communication, intimacy, and sex, so why not consent? This episode, we’re going to talk about it! What does consent mean? How can you ensure you don’t get or give mixed signals when discussing consent? Join us this week to learn how you can ensure you have no blurred lines with consent. Oh Yeah... And we WILL also weigh in on the slap that ROCKed the world!! lol!!

Who wants to be loved only behind closed doors? Not us!!! Recognizing that not all people aren’t “out” in their ethically nonmonogamous love style, some may find it hard to share their relationships out in the open! If you have a partner who wants to keep your relationship private how would that make you feel?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past three weeks, you’ve seen or at least heard of The Tinder Swindler. This docu-series from Netflix got me to thinking, “Isn’t making connections on dating apps hard enough without worry about being finessed?!?” So this episode we’re going to be discussing dating apps, and things that make us Just Swipe Left.

In life we all deal with situations that can sometimes overwhelm us. Holding onto these things can be bad for our overall growth. We take on the burdens of others and never learn to unpack our emotions and the emotional hoard that some of us possess can become extremely detrimental and can ruin great relationships. In this solo episode with Kue he'll unpack that.

Getting gifts for that special someone can be tough at times. What do they need? What size do they wear? What color should it be? Do they already have this?.... But what if you have special SOMEONES... Lets talk about it cuz if your timing and POCKETS arent right.... ummmm

I think its a safe assumption that almost all of us have wanted to, thought about it, or regularly engage in threesomes... But how should one go into this space so we all have fun and no one gets cut? In this episode ww discuss some of the things that should be done to assure you and ALL involved parties are on the same page so nothing but good moments and memories are created!! AND so you can also do it again... and again.. AND AGAIN!!

A great suit is a tailored suit. The same thing applies to your poly and or ethical non-monogamous relationships! We discuss the importance of building your relationships to fit your needs and not conforming to the needs of others. The way you want to move is vital for a successful ENM relationship.

The Art of Dominance/The Art of BDSM
Description: We’ve all heard about it and many are curious, so let’s talk about it! This week we have two special guests joining us to give an introduction to The Art of BDSM. These sex educators are a polyamorous couple who are members of the BDSM and kink communities. Join us for another educational and entertaining episode!

This episode is a bit of a continuation of Episode three from season one titled: Enough is Enough. On this episode we discuss cultivating new relationships while maintaining and flourishing your newest connection. How do you ensure none of your partners are lacking while you actively date?

In this episode, Kue is rolling solo... or is he? Join us for this mono conversation.

This week’s episode is part two of our kink/fetish series. On this episode we discuss the difference between fetishes and kinks, if we have any fetishes, and the most common and uncommon fetishes. This is another episode you won’t want to miss!

We received so much wonderful feedback on our last episode, that we thought it would be nice to expound on it. With that in mind, we decided to create a three part kink/fetish series. During this first episode we open up and share our first time experiencing some kinks. We also discuss what we learned in the process and how it helped us in our relationships. We’ll be revealing some stuff to one another that we’ve never shared, so you don’t want to miss it!

We’ve got another great episode coming this week! Let’s talk sex. We all know that polyamory isn’t all about sex but sex is a huge part of most relationships polyamory so technically, sex is a huge large of polyamory. While it is 2021, discussing sex, kinks and fetishes outside of the bedroom is still considered taboo by many today. But y’all know we’re all about those uncomfortable conversations. So get ready, episode three titled Kink, Fetish, Erotica; Oh My! will be like this Saturday, September 25th at 10:00 a.m EST. We’ll be discussing all things sex with Human Sexuality/Sexual Health Licensed Professional Counselor, Tamela R McDonald to talk sex, kink and fetishes in ENM.

Do you think there’s favoritism in polyamory? We all know that the politically correct answer is no, but let’s be real, do you have a favorite partner? Why or why not? Have you found that his effects your relationship with that partner or any of your other partners? Yea, that’s a lot to unpack right?! We’ll be unpacking with y’all! Join us this week to discuss our thoughts on if favoritism exists within polyamorous relationships.

If you’re inexperienced in polyamory, do you think you could date people who are new to polyamory? If you’re new to polyamory, do you think you could date people more experienced in polyamory? That’s a lot to think about right?! Join us as we kick off season two to discuss polynating.

Since it’s the season finale, we wanted to end it with a bang! 😁 This episode, we’re on location at Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica. We’re talking to some old and new guests at Hedo about their experience(s) and sooooo much more! We’ll also be discussing what we learned about ourselves this trip and throughout the season, so buckle up and enjoy! Thanks so much for rocking with us. We love y’all! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

If you weren’t there, I’m sorry you missed it, but there’s always next year! 😉 DM us on IG if you’re seriously interested! Come be wicked for a week! 😈

While we finish up our finale episode, we wanted to surprise y’all with a little bonus. 😄 Join us this week to chat with Elle and discuss her boundaries of as an INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging) personality in polyamory. Learn how you can ensure you respect the boundaries of those with INFJ personality traits similar to Elle. Y’all know she doesn’t talk much so you won’t want to miss this!

Do you remember your first metamour? Friendships with metas can be tricky, but as with most things, you get out of it what you put into it. This week we’ll discuss pros and cons of meta relationships, so join us this week to hear our meta stories.

Do you remember when you came out as poly? Have you not come out to your family yet? Why or why not? How was it received by the family? We’ll be talking about all this and more on this week’s episode.
-Interviews with Nakayla and Gwen

Have you noticed any ethical non-monogamous (ENM) relationships on tv or the big screen? Maybe they were present and thought it was weird. 😆 This week we’ll discuss some of our favorite ENM relationships on tv. How were they similar? How were they different? Do you feel you learned anything during the season or movie? Let’s talk about it!

Kue and Elle discuss the struggles of dating. Why are there so many good men and women still single? And where the hell are y’all hiding?!

Kue and Elle discuss veto power. What is veto power? How/when should it be used? Does it automatically equal/mean couple’s privilege? Find out on this week’s episode!

When you’re ethically non-monogamous, is it possible to cheat on your partners? If so, how is cheating defined? And what the hell was Derrick Jaxn thinking?! 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏿‍♂️ Join Kue and Elle to discuss these topics during this week’s episode!

Kue and Elle discuss the two ends of the spectrum of relating in polyamory. We talk about how having no additional partners often make people feel “less poly”. We also discuss how to navigate social events when your poly is poppin’ and multiple partners are present as well as how to balance communicating with partners when you’ve travelled to visit a partner.

Kue and Elle discuss relationship transitions. How you can be there for your partner in the ways they need to during such a difficult time. What are some ways to maintain balance when you or one of your partner(s) suffers a relationship transition or break-up?

You asked for it to, so we delivered! Let’s talk Hedonism baby!!!!! Kue and Elle discuss their experience at one of the greatest adult resorts on earth; Hedonism!!! They discuss their experience from year one to year three and how their comfortability progressed over the years. They also have an in depth conversation with some dear friends. TRUST US, you don’t want to miss the story at the end. It’s is off the chain!

Kue and Elle discuss what it means to be poly saturated and how they determine how many partners is too many. They talk about dealing with insecurities of other partners and how they work through them.

RULES... How many of us have them!? No really, how many of us have rules in our lives and relationships that really don't make or break the overall of the foundation? Hear how we navigate through old and new rules as we grow along in our journey.

Poly-what???
During episode one we discuss the many forms of ethical non-monogamy and define polyamory. We give insight on how our journey began and discuss how and why we became polyamorous. Enjoy our foolery while taking a ride with us on our journey of polyamory! Tell us what you think by leaving a rating and go follow us on IG @Knot4UPodcast.