Grateful, No Matter What

Finding similarities with other people helps us live happy and healthy lives. Your life may feel ordinary to you, but it might seem extraordinary to someone else. Every story shared is a chance to make someone feel less alone.

Sharing your story with others invites others to connect with you. Whether the experiences you talk about are positive or negative — it doesn’t matter. The fact that you are share anything with others in a society that is either all-or-nothing is impactful in itself. It causes everyone who is listening to reflect on our words.

Telling your story will enhance your personal growth and maturity. Being confronted with the unfortunate realities that come with having difficult conversations or sharing negative or triggering experiences can be worth the growth. Growing not only for yourself but also for those who choose to be actively engaged in this journey of learning alongside you

Nothing is stronger than habit. Simply put, a habit is a behavior that starts as a choice, and then becomes a nearly unconscious pattern. Every habit, no matter how simple or complex, has the same structure, which we call the "habit loop." There is a cue or a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional behavior. Finally, there is a reward. Once you understand how habit loops work, you can start changing them.

“No” is a word most of us use too infrequently. And, what’s worse, when we say “No” we usually add on all sorts of lengthly and unecessary explanations. But “No” can be a complete sentence, and to be honest, "No" is a complete sentence.

Often, no is a difficult thing to say. This resistance to the word is directly linked to the need and desire to seek approval from other people. This need has rooted itself deep into todays society of instant gratification and impatience. But, don't worry! Practice makes perfect. More and more you will become comfortable with the idea that no is not negative and hopefully begin to see how it impacts your life, your relationships, and your overall mindset.

I’ll admit I’m a creature of habit in many ways. I tend to settle into routines that feel good, and I get pretty invested in them at times. A routine is a series of habits. If you've got a good routine set up, say a morning routine of breakfast-exercise-shower-dress-commute, you've freed yourself from a lot of small decisions that could slow you down or capture valuable brain-space that you'd prefer to use for something else. You can now go on autopilot and still accomplish your. In this way, paradoxically, a good routine can be freeing. No need for constant decision-making about what's coming next or what you should do. You're gonna brush your teeth before you leave the house, and that's that!

Routine can create positive habits, but too much routine creates some inflexibility, as well as other challenges that can do more harm than good for you and your overall growth and evolution. Is there a healthy balance? 

The external, as well as the internal are forever changing, no matter what we do, say, or try to actively control on a daily basis. Nothing is static, everything is in constant motion, fluctuating, growing, evolving, dying; turning into something that it was not just months, weeks, days, seconds, or even moments before. This constant change, that nothing lasts forever, is the law of impermanence, which is defined as the state or fact of lasting for only a limited period of time.

Even if you’ve never heard of this concept, I’m sure the word “impermanence” seems somewhat familiar. If you take a closer look at it, you should see the root word permanent, which comes from the Latin permanere, "endure, continue, or stay to the end." This means that nothing every changes, it always stays the same, no matter what. Think of a permanent marker. If you write on a wall or someone’s clothing, there’s no way of washing it off; it’s there forever, you can’t change it or erase it. On the other hand, you have impermanence, which is the exact opposite of permanent. It means nothing lasts forever, nothing stays exactly the same, and to understand the impermanent nature of everything in life is to understand the inevitability of change.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with Dr. Steven K. Finch, who is the Owner/Founder of Lifestyle Evolution, along with his wife Jeanna. He created a bio-individualized and transformative prevention based on clinical weight loss & complete lifestyle change interventions, for overweight to super-super obese (BMI 60+) individuals with coexisting chronic diseases. Through an innovative, sustainable, and viable health coaching and integrative/functional medicine and nutrition model, he utilizes virtual communication technologies (i.e., text, phone, zoom) to help client achieve their health goals. We discussed many facets of his journey into the Health & Wellness field, how he approaches his clients, and so much more. Enjoy!

If you want to connect with Steven, feel free to reach out to him: www.lifestyle-evolution.com (Website), @lifestyleevolutioncoaching (Instagram), Lifestyle Evolution (Facebook), or steve@lifestyle-evolution.com (E-mail).

I was recently asked the question, "What makes a man a man?", and I honestly didn't know how to answer it. In my head, certain qualities came up to describe a man, but before I spoke those words into existence, I realized that those same qualities could be attributed to a woman as well.

And that's why I couldn't answer the question and felt somewhat confused and taken aback. Not because of my impulsive or knee-jerk thought, rather the fact that in that moment I truly recognized that there is no line of demarkation between what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. 

I understand there are certain physical attributes that can make someone a male or female, but that's their sex, not their gender. And gender isn't black and white at all, which means that gender roles, gender identity, and gender-based qualities aren't either.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with Amy Kaufman, who is an amazing soul that is heavily involved in Energy Healing. During a Tarot Card reading in 2009, she was invited to consider becoming a Reiki Practitioner and it rang true for her. This lead her down a path in becoming a certified Reiki Master. In addition, she leads people through Cacao Ceremonies, guided meditations, and provides them the time and space to go within and embark on their own journey of self-discovery. She is giver of love, support and a giver of herself.  Following her path in becoming a Reiki Master has allowed her to continue to give love and support to many in need of healing. Reiki is a method of bringing to light your inner joy, a way to calm and relax you and a way to alleviate physical pain. We discussed this and so many other interesting topics. Enjoy! 

If you want to connect with Amy, feel free to reach out to her: https://amykaufman.co (Website), amy@amykaufman.co (E-mail), @reiki_withamy (Instagram), & Amy Axelrod Kaufman (Facebook).

Pain is part of life. It does not have to rule your life. Suffering, is not part of life. We do it to ourselves. When it comes to how we respond to physical and emotional pain, we have a choice

Life happens, right? We lose jobs, we may lose a home, we get sick, we break bones, and unfortunately people die on us. This is all a part of life, no mater how hard we try to avoid it. And guess what, it hurts. I'm not going to try to convince you of otherwise.

When we feel this type of pain, it is what we call an appropriate emotion, which is an appropriate response to life events that hurt. If you stand back from it and cast a critical eye over your life, you will find that these events, thankfully, do not occur that often (hopefully).

We can’t choose whether or not we’re going to experience pain. But we can choose to let go and not to fight against it or become overly attached to it and wallow.

Is this easy? Of course not. However, it is absolutely possible. By adjusting our thinking, and how we think about our thinking, we can change our emotional responses, the extent to which we suffer (or not), our level of tension and stress, and in turn, our experience of pain.

Gratitude means thankfulness, counting your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that you receive. It means learning to live your life as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much you’ve been given.

Once you allow yourself to become oriented toward looking for things to be grateful for, you will start to appreciate simple pleasures and things that you may have previously took for granted. 

Remember, gratitude shouldn't be just a reaction to getting what you want, but a no matter what type of gratitude. The kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good even in unpleasant situations.

Whether it has to do with personal growth, business, romance, or finances, are you being held back by fear of your own potential? It seems counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? Each and every one of us wants to reach our goals, find fulfillment, and be successful in life…right?

Now, this isn’t a question of whether or not you can execute whatever it is that needs to be done. The universe has acted in your favor, which is why you are now at this stage with endless possibilities. This is more of a case of whether or not it’s going to scare you when you finally reach your aspired level of success. Because, it’s like a glitch in the continuum of your life. Things are going along fine and you feel confident that you are hitting the markers. Everything is going great, moving smoothly towards some amazing, something you've always wanted...and then bam. You feel the fear of your own success.

Once you know what it is that scares you about living to your fullest potential, how can you overcome that fear so it does not hold you back or sabotage your happiness and success?

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with Terrance M. Daves, who is an all-around enthusiast and lover of building anything and everything. As a father of 4, he is passionate about building his family’s legacy by being able to instill confidence and compassion to guide the next generation. Terrance is the unofficial motivational speaker of the people closest to him as he values relationship building, staying true to yourself and just having a good time. He’s committed to living life to the fullest and enjoying what he has been blessed with at all times. We discussed how to maintain a healthy marriage, acknowledging and navigating familial cycles, his various hobbies (that mostly include wheels of some sort), and so much more. Enjoy!

If you want connect with Terrance, feel free to reach out to him: @terranced_ (Instagram).

I’m sure that each and every one of us have felt slighted or wronged by someone during the course of our lives. This could have been a family member, a friend, a coworker or even a stranger that you just cross paths within that exact moment. This person may have said something or done something that genuinely hurt your feelings or that you felt was disrespectful. And as a result, you started to harbor feelings of anger, frustration, or aggravation towards this particular person. These feelings, if left unattended, can produce deep-seated resentments, which usually transform into this act of holding a grudge.

When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It causes us to carry negative, tense energy in our biology. The problem with grudges, besides the fact that they are a drag to carry around (like a bag of sedimentized toxic waste that keeps us stuck in anger) is that they don’t serve the purpose that they are there to serve. They don’t make us feel better or heal our hurt. At the end of the day, we end up as proud owners of our grudges but still without the experience of comfort that we ultimately crave, that we have craved since the original wounding.

To let go of a grudge we need to move the focus off of the one who “wronged” us, off of the story of our suffering, and into the felt experience of what we actually lived.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with a really good friend of mine, Sophia Medina, who is a driven high school senior who is constantly working to make the world a better place. Climate and racial justice along with LGBT equality are just a few causes she’s currently fighting for. As an amateur yogi, Sophia is learning to get in touch with her highest self while trying to manage starting a new chapter of her life amidst the pandemic. We discussed these topics and so much more. Enjoy!

If you want connect with Sophia, feel free to reach out to her: @Sophiaxmedina (Instagram) & Sophia Medina (Facebook).

Meditation isn’t about becoming a different person, a new person, or even a better person. It’s about training yourself to become more self-aware while getting a healthy sense of perspective. If you think about it, it's truly a journey from the outer world into the inner one. With each passing moment allow yourself to become closer and more intimate with your breath. You have the choice and ultimate authority to come back to your breath, especially when your mind starts to race towards the past or the future. Remember, you’re not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings. You’re learning to observe them without judgment. And eventually, you may start to better understand them as well.

It is up to you, the individual to take back these moments as your own and cherish them as if it was your last one. Be here now. It’s where your most authentic life is happening.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with a really good friend of mine, Frank De Julio, who is an NY based Actor and Human. We discussed a range of topics from how we met way back in the Catering world, moving to NYC at 17 to pursue an acting career, coming out at such a young age, and so much more. 

If you want to check out any of Franks on screen work, you can find him in Otherhood and Orange is the New Black on Netflix, Pose on FX, Bull on CBS, The Night Of and The Normal Heart on HBO.

To connect with Frank, feel free to reach out to him on his Instagram: @Frankdejulio

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with a really good friend of mine, Mae Bonnaci, who is an artist at her core! When Mae isn't running her business Chain Lynx Media, she paints her life experiences onto the page with her poetry and published works. Just as she tells a story for all her Chain Lynx branding clients she tells the story of her life's journey. Author of Conversations With My Mother and Beautifully Redeemed, Mae speaks of truth, but more importantly she speaks with heart, always captivating people from all walks of life. Through raw emotion and lyrical prose, Mae hopes to inspire other women through honest explorations of heartache, desire, femininity, love, and family. When she’s not writing, Mae can be found with a paintbrush in her hand or on a plane, seeking a new adventure. We discussed all of this and so much more. Enjoy! 

To connect with Mae, feel free to reach out to her on any of her social media platforms: Facebook (Personal): Mae Bonnaci Facebook (Business): Chain Lynx Media Instagram (Personal): @_simply.mae_ Instagram (Business): @chainlynxmedia Website: http://www.chainlynxmedia.com                https://www.iamsimplymae.com

Real growth is an inside job. True happiness is an inside job. Becoming a better version of yourself is an inside job.

Do you see the trend? It all starts with you. Just like self love, self care, self confidence, self acceptance and self awareness. You have to stop looking outside of yourself or to the external world for all your answers and guidance. You’re responsible for yourself. Your health. Your life. Your happiness, your actions and consequences!

At the end of the day, you have to power to pick and choose who is in your life, how you respond to your situations and circumstances, where you wanna go and how you’re gonna get there.

When you choose to listen and honor yourself...the quality of your life has the ability to improve!

Projecting is a defense mechanism that occurs when a conflict arises between your unconscious feelings and your conscious beliefs. In order to subdue this conflict, you attribute these feelings to someone or something else. We often project things onto others when we have repressed anger, guilt, shame, or other emotions that we’ve convinced ourselves are “bad” and that don’t have a right to exist.

Instead of acknowledging these feelings and dealing with them in a way that’s healthy and productive, we repress them. The problem with doing so is that those swallowed emotions don’t just disappear when we stop paying attention to them. We push them away, deep down into the void of our unconscious, and since they’re not allowed to be released in a healthy manner, they manifest in less delightful ways.

Sometimes, you may not even be aware of the fact that you are projecting because it can be a difficult situation to navigate. Therefore, before you can truly address the underlying issues, you must first recognize when and how you might be projecting onto others. When you are capable of facing unwelcome feelings head on, you’ll find they are far less draining or damaging in the long term.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with Tanisha Castellanos, who is a speaker, published author, licensed clinical Psychotherapist (LCSW) and Resiliency coach. For over 20 years, she has helped individuals and their families win the battle against mental health. Tanisha’s “first love” was the positive development of youth in the judicial system.

Her work has expanded to crisis interventions with diverse populations who are experiencing mental health crisis. Populations such as those in the field of criminal justice, first responders, business professionals, and public figures. She currently resides in The Hudson Valley, New York where she continues to provide therapy and resilience coaching in the areas of mental health.

To connect with Tanisha, feel free to reach out to her on any of her social media platforms:

Facebook: Tanisha Castellanos

Linked In: Tanisha Castellanos

Twitter: @ImTanishaC

Instagram: @imtanishac

YouTube: Tanisha Castellanos

When someone talks about investing in yourself, a lot of times the first thing we think of is money. But money isn't everything. There are other things that are extremely important when you are trying to pursue a dream, a passion, or achieve something. Do you know what that resource is?

If you weren't sure, the answer is time. And just like money, most of us don't have infinite amounts of it, so it's a precious resource that should not be taken for granted. The time you have throughout your day is obviously dedicated to a job, family, and other obligations, but you have to ask yourself if you're truly using all of it wisely. Are there times when you are sleeping in, hitting the snooze button or scrolling through social media. If that's the case, there is valuable time you can be using and devoting towards yourself and what you're passionate about. 

The same goes for money. I know that most of don't have endless supplies of it and we have expenses that are required, such as rent and utilities. But, what about ordering in a few times a week? What about the coffee you buy every morning? It may not seem like a lot then, but it adds up. And that money could be used in other places, like yourself. Investing money into yourself, no matter what it is you are trying to accomplish. 

It boils down to priorities. You have to figure out what is most important to you and devote as much time, money, and effort that you can towards it. Because, if you don't and you continue to do what you're doing, you're going to stay exactly where you are. 

Is that something you want?

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I had the pleasure to sit down with Yovanni Field, who is someone who doesn't hold back and speaks from the heart. Growing up, Yovanni had his struggles with addiction, depression, and run in's with the law, but doesn't let that define him. Instead, he took those seemingly negative past experiences and used them as motivation to become an avid mental health enthusiast as well as a personal trainer.

This passion turned into his purpose, which inspired Yovanni to start an all around fitness business focusing not just on physical health, but mental health as well with a big goal in mind: building a brand to that can eventually become a world wide power house.

To connect with Yovanni, feel free to reach out to him on any of his social media platforms:

IG, TikTok, & Twitter: @yaeFTF_ABY

SnapChat: Yae_ftf

Email: YovanniFields@gmail.com

It is inevitable that there will be times when you may not know the answer to something. To avoid losing credibility and causing others to question your knowledge, you may try to act like you know or just go along because you're afraid of how others might judge or what they may say about you. I have realized that people will go out of their way to act like they are knowledgeable about a particular subject just to "look good" and avoid being perceived as dumb, stupid, or ignorant. 

That begs the question:  Why is that habit so rampant today? To be completely honest, I feel that there can be so much embarrassment, and possible shame associated with not knowing something, being misinformed, or even forgetting something deemed as common sense. Therefore, many people would rather save act like they know something than admit that they don't. 

This mindset can create this vicious cycle that can end up leaving you  trapped, stuck, and unable to evolve and move further on your path. At this point, a decision needs to be made: You have to surrender and allow yourself the opportunity to grow as a human being. You have to make the conscious decision to admit to yourself and others, when necessary, that you don’t have all the answers. 

This should not be seen as a failure or disappointment, but rather a courageous moment where you give yourself a chance to be taught, to learn, and live a new way of life.

On this episode of the Grateful, No Matter What Podcast, I sat down with Karina F. Daves, who is an amazingly talented human being.  Karina prides herself on being a "for the people and with the people" type of gal and truly believes in the power of helping others, one season at a time.

Over the years, she has developed practices and skills in achieving BITE-SIZED GOALSbetween her career, her relationships and her sanity. She is not perfect, nor does she claim to the best at this gift called life. But, she does feel blessed. Blessed with the ability to think quickly on her feet, develop life-changing techniques, and still have a chuckle at the end of the day! Her passion is to be there for women, specifically moms, that need tools and confidence to keep going, no matter where they are in life!

To connect with Karina, feel free to reach out to her on any of her social media platforms:

Website: www.karinafdaves.com

IG: @karinafdaves

Email: karinafdaves@gmail.com

I used to think it was bad to change your mind. I would always worry about what other people would think when I decided to do something different.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Even uttering the words, “I changed my mind”, can seem so unacceptable. That sentence is short but, it holds a lot of meaning. And, if you’re like most people, it also carries a lot of shame and regret. It’s true, there’s a healthy dose of guilt that accompanies a sudden shift in your path. This indisputable feeling that if you were just a little smarter, better-informed, or more prepared, you could’ve avoid this “mess” to begin with.

You know what? We all do this at some point in our lives. Whether it’s something as simple as backing out on plans or something as major as completely switching careers, we tend to beat ourselves up over the fact that we’ve had a total change of heart. Because, if you really think about it, you put in time and effort only to decide to go in a different direction, and that can bring about an immense amount of self-loathing.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

But, I want to challenge this idea. I want to challenge that chaining your mind, pivoting in a new direction, should be deemed some sort of mistake or sin. That it’s this distasteful behavior or characteristic that immediately makes you careless, unreliable, or a flake. I have a much different way of describing someone who has the guts to change course. Instead of those negative adjectives, I’d use words like brave, self-aware, and constantly evolving to become aligned to their truest self and their purest passions. 

Be brutally honest with yourself. If you feel like trying something new, then try something new. Remember, it’s your life to live.

The day has finally arrived! My first official podcast guest, Melissa Romero, sat down with me to discuss her journey with spirituality, as well as her experiences with plant medicine and living a life filled with gratitude.  

Melissa Romero is an Evolutionary Speaker, Energy Healer, and Success Coach. Utilizing her Vlog, The Spiritual Misfit, and other offerings she seeks to inspire others through their personal evolution to discover and unlock their true potential. Her approach to healing and growth is raw, real, and yet nurturing. Melissa prides herself in teaching practical application of life principles, emphasizing self-love, forgiveness, and a holistic approach to spirituality and success.

IG: @The_Spiritual_Misfit

FB: Melissa Romero-The Spiritual Misfit

Meditation is a journey from the outer world into the inner one. With each passing moment allow yourself to become closer and more intimate with your breath. You have the choice and ultimate authority to come back to your breath, especially when your mind starts to race towards the past or the future. Always remember that. Always remember that life is going to happen and your thoughts are going to want to do their own thing. It is up to you, the individual to take back these moments as your own and cherish them as if it was your last one. Be here now. It’s where your most authentic life is happening.

Why is that? Why is one too many and a thousand is never enough? 

Coming from my own personal experience, the one is always the thing that sets it off. It’s the catalyst that sets in motion a course of events that you may not want to play out but will most likely happen inevitably. And then, the thousand is never enough just means that you keep trying to chase something that is most likely unattainable. In my opinion, the best way to combat this type of behavior is to create balance in all aspects of your life. To create this middle ground between that one and that thousand. 

Now, I am not literally talking about 500, but this area where you can balance everything out. So many people, myself included, either live or used to live in this world of extremes. It’s either all or nothing. And if you’re living your life on the “nothing” side and you totally restrict yourself from doing certain things or eating certain things, then you’re setting yourself up to over-indulge, to binge. To do things in excess that are going to end up hurting you just because you were trying to restrict yourself. These same excessive behaviors occur when and if you are living your life in that “all” area where you go too hard at all time or you do things too much. 

Both ends of the spectrum can be quite detrimental. So, incorporating this concept of balance into your life is extremely vital to your overall well-being. It’s important to understand what situations in your life can trigger you, what people in your life can trigger you, what emotional states can trigger you, or what mental states can trigger you and cause you to overindulge or live in excess; live on that “all” end of the spectrum. At the same time, you have to be true to yourself. 

Constantly check your motives. You know yourself better than anyone else and you know when you are doing something that is beneficial and when you are doing something that is self-destructive. It truly is an inside job that cannot be addressed from anything on the outside, so try to be diligent and truthful with your motives.

Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Personal boundaries define where you end and others begin and are determined by the amount of physical and emotional space you allow between yourself and others. Personal boundaries help you decide what types of communication, behavior, and interaction are acceptable.

Setting boundaries is essential if you want to be both physically and emotionally healthy.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits, you protect your self- esteem, maintain self-respect, and enjoy healthy relationships.

Everyone seems to be more than ready to forget 2020, but you shouldn't be so quick to move on. Because, when we rush to move forward and forget about the past we skip a valuable step and deny ourselves the chance to grow.

We’ve been given the time to reflect. We’ve had opportunities to learn more about ourselves, the societies within which we operate, as well as the world as a whole. We’re still working towards seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. But when we get there, we must not forget the journey we had going through the tunnel, for that is how we truly grow as human beings.

Therefore, lets carry with us the lessons we have learned in 2020 and not leave them behind. For those of us, who in the struggle of life, could not contemplate and learn those lessons, maybe now is the time to look back, when things are a bit easier, to see if there are any more lessons to be picked up.

This "New Year, New You" mentality can be framed in such a way that makes it seem motivating, uplifting and encouraging. There's nothing inherently bad about setting a New Year's resolution, but it depends on where it's coming from. You see,  things can get problematic when you're doing it from a place of pressure or obligation. When you feel like you have to come up with New Year's resolutions to hop on the bandwagon like everyone else. The stress and disappointment we sometimes place ourselves can be counterproductive, creating unnecessary stress and possibly making things worse.

Instead, remember that you can start anytime you want. You don't need an obligatory day to tell you when you need to start your journey. And keep the focus on yourself. Nothing will be gained by comparing yourself to anyone else because they are not you and you are not them. If you choose to compare at all, compare yourself to yourself in a temporal fashion with no hard-set goals in mind. The journey towards an elusive goal is every bit as important as the destination. Therefore, don't allow yourself to be  driven by achieving a certain goal, rather decide to be driven first and foremost by the kind of life you want to live: your lifestyle. 

See if you can be a bit gentler with yourself or give yourself this same kind of grace that you might give to someone that you really love or care about who's in a similarly challenging situation. And, if you insist on resolving to do something, do this: go easy on yourself, be your own benchmark for success. And think about the kind of lifestyle you want to live. Happy New Year.

We all lead busy lives and often use our limited time as an excuse to procrastinate and avoid making plans with others or getting things done in our own lives. But, when it really boils down to it, this is idea that you are "too busy" or "don't have time" is a lie. It's a lie we tell others, but sometimes more importantly, yourself. It helps you believe that you'll never be able to forge any new relationships, start a new project, or get anything done for that matter...and that is a problem, a big problem. 

Therefore, instead of saying "I'm too busy" or "I don't have time", replace it by saying "it's not a priority," and really see how that feels. To be completely honest, it may not feel good at first because you are admitting to yourself and someone else, possibly, that whatever it is, isn't a priority to you. These changing mindset and attitude most likely won't sit well with you, and that's the point. Changing your language reminds you that time is a choice. If you don't like how you're spending an hour, you can choose differently.

It's truly a simple idea, and a great one at that! Our language is often used to be polite and respond with non-confrontational answers because the   truth might be hard to hear. Sometimes you may even subject yourself to more polite language and end up in situations that you do NOT want to be in. You have to remember that how you use and spend your time is very important because time is a finite resource and shouldn't be wasted. 

Don't risk putting it to poor use by not allowing yourself to be honest with yourself and others about your priorities in life. Alter your language and you may just discover what's most important.

So many people think of the holidays as a time solely for getting presents. Stores advertise holiday times as being a time for shopping rather than the sacredness of family time at the holidays. This is tearing apart dinner tables and causing millions to spend this magical season worrying about getting gifts and making sure they don’t disappoint someone in their lives if they don’t get them something spectacular.

When you take away the interaction, the experiences, and the irreplaceable moments during the holidays and replace it with disposable items, ultimately it destroys the memories. So many conversations and memories are being abandoned because we are more focused on buying gifts, taking advantage of sales, and all other consumer-based mentalities.

Instead, we need to bring back the importance of being with family, friends, and loved ones and canceling out any distracting factors during the holidays that can be focused around buying gifts that it creates unnecessary added pressure. That’s not what this time of year is about. It’s about enjoying the moments, the unforgettable experiences that you can have with the people you care most about, however that may look.

This year pay attention to the things that are most important: the love, the gratitude, and that thankfulness.

Society loves to put each and every one of us in a category. It’s easier for them to create infighting, divide us into groups, and keep us from mobilizing as one cohesive unit. And to be honest, they do a pretty good job of that at times, but now more than ever, it has to stop.

But, to carry out this critical endeavor, it’s going to take a concerted effort by all of us to understand that we are NOT monolithic beings, meaning we are NOT just one thing. We don’t have to have one opinion, one quality, or a single perspective and be defined by JUST that. For example, it’s okay to be fiscally conservative and socially liberal. It’s okay to be anti-racism and support the good cops who truly protect and serve with EVERYONES best interests at heart. And, it’s okay to celebrate accomplishments and success in your life and also hold space for all the tragedies, injustices, and inequalities facing our country right now.

We are all dynamic individuals with the capacity and intelligence to zoom out and see the bigger picture, but we can get caught up in the possible judgmental rhetoric of others. That mindset can no longer be your guiding force because it doesn’t serve the greater good of humanity. Coming to this realization is how, as a collective, we can create meaningful change and replace old, antiquated ideas with new, more progressive ones.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Remember, the powers that be want us to label everyone else based on one idea or construct, but we know deep down in our hearts, that this thought process isn’t how we move forward. We know that each one of us offers something unique, something special, something that can’t be put put into one category. The sooner we recognize this power within us, the sooner we can come together as one and change the world.

Fun should be a top priority. It shouldn’t be relegated to the bottom drawer, the one you open only when all the real work is done. It’s not a distraction or a diversion. There are a million things that you can do that are harmless and fun.

But, having fun is up to you. It’s free and healthy and important. What are we all on this planet for if not to enjoy the ride? 

Therefore, always remember to have fun. Be silly. Make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes, but continue to trust your heart, follow your passions, and commit to being you, no matter what. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to enjoy life, to be themselves, and to express this in a way that makes them happy.

Now go do something unproductive! All you have to remember? Enjoy every second of it.

Worries, doubts, and anxieties are a normal part of life. It’s natural to worry about an unpaid bill, an upcoming job interview, or a first date. But “normal” worry becomes excessive when it’s persistent and uncontrollable. You worry every day about “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, you can’t get anxious thoughts out of your head, and it interferes with your daily life.

The act of worrying and worrying and worrying ends up being a huge waste of energy. 

If you think about it, it makes you suffer before you even know if there is any actual reason to suffer. It doubles the pain if something happens you don't like. And it may cause you to over prepare for bad outcomes when you don't really need to. To be honest, it just doesn't feel good. 

Worry or anxiety are fancy words for fear that something you want won't work out. The negatives of worry far outweigh any positives. Even if something bad is likely to happen, there is NO POINT in suffering before it happens.

Spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks".

While it can be a way to protect the self from harm or to promote harmony between people, it doesn't actually resolve the issue. Instead, it merely glosses over a problem, leaving it to fester without any true resolution.

You cannot pick and choose which emotions you experience. Life cannot be good thoughts, feelings, and emotions alone. In order to experience the highs, you must also endure the lows.

Don't be too hard on yourself for mistakes. Growth is a process and it's easy to fall into old habits, especially when you are trying to cope with something difficult. Spirituality can be a positive force in your life and many spiritual practices can be excellent stress management tools. By actively avoiding spiritual bypassing, you can make spirituality a practice that will help you live a more harmonious and fulfilling life.

"We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren

The past is a strange thing. Despite it literally being behind you, it can always seem to be present. Even when you work hard to focus on you future or whats ahead, it may seem like you have one eye turned forever toward the things that “were”. This over focus on the past will force you to miss out on the present. 

Therefore, you have to learn to leg go of the past, which will enable you re-engage with the root of your authentic self. You will come to terms with the the depth of your needs and take steps to realize them.  And, if you want to stop living in the past, you have to be proactive about taking action, and be very clear about what you want from your life. Then and only then can you free yourself from the past and become the person you were always meant to be.

Letting go of the past is never an easy process because nothing worth is ever a "walk in the park. But, it becomes that much easier when you take the time to educate yourself on things like trauma and how they impact your body for months and years to come. It's time to start prioritizing yourself and your right to a happy and peaceful future away from the shadows of your past. It’s time for you to free yourself and reconnect with your joy.

How can you feel pure happiness if you’re not being your unique self? You’re the only person who can give meaning and significance to your life, so live it without regrets. Take chances. Have fun. Be silly. Make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes, but continue to trust your heart, follow your passions, and commit to being you, no matter what.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to enjoy life, to be themselves, and to express this in a way that makes them happy. Never ever be ashamed of who you are, especially if what you do, say, and believe isn’t hurting anybody. Instead, let your self-confidence and your zest for life to radiate. This is a non-negotiable when you want to live unapologetically.

Because, regardless of how you live your life, people will still find a way to point fingers, make judgments, and assume things about you. Don’t let that bother you. Why should anyone else’s opinions matter to you? They shouldn’t. Are you happy? Are you living your life to the fullest? If the answer is yes, then that’s what’s most important. All those other people’s judgments and opinions are a reflection of themselves. So, let them deal with that and keep doing you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

It may take some time to truly learn to be comfortable in your own skin, but to be unapologetically you is to own all of you. Accept your strengths and weaknesses, dreams and desires, fears, and everything else that makes you unique. Always stand firm in understanding that although you may be imperfect, you are a work in progress with infinite potential.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Have the courage to reveal who you are. Embrace it all. And you will allow yourself to be you, unapologetically.

Being thankful transforms you.

Seeing the good in what you have right now can transform you.  It can change your daily outlook and increase your happiness. You’ll find more feelings of satisfaction and likely see your relationships improve because you complain less and appreciate more. Many research has shown that gratitude can improve an individual’s well-being and happiness. A thankful person feels more contentment and joy and doesn’t dwell on negative things.

This is what seeing the good is all about; gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation.  It is an attitude, a perspective and a way of life.  Seeing the good is also a choice.  Choose to see the good in your everyday life.  Be thankful for all that you have.

But, at the same time, we all know that that isn’t always possible, especially when times get tough and there seems to be a never-ending bombardment of negativity coming your way. In my opinion, those are the times that you need to reach out and grab on to your gratitude and thankfulness even more. Using it as a motivating force to bring you back to what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have.

And one of the most important things to appreciate and give thanks for is the seemingly simple, yet extremely amazing, fact that you woke up today. That you’re alive. You see, every day is an opportunity to have a fresh start and not everybody is as fortunate as you or me to have even woken up today. So, make sure you breathe gratitude into your lungs, speak gratitude into your heart, manifest gratitude into your mind, and embody gratitude into your soul every chance you get.

And, when you wake up in the morning, say thank you. Allowing you to treat each moment since you opened up our eyes with such care and love that you won’t be able to waste that miracle, that huge miracle of waking up. In this life, experiencing it all, one day at a time.

Everyone wants to achieve some type of success in their lives. Whether it's personal success, professional success, or relationship success, you should be continuously striving to become better. 

Now this process can be done on your own, by yourself, without the help of others. But, this can also be a collaborative effort that incorporates other opinions, perspectives, and advice on a certain matter. So, why not choose that option? Well, in my opinion, many people are afraid that someone else is going to sabotage their success, try to duplicate it, or something else that may result in a negative outcome. 

Why is that? Why do some people feel the need to tear someone down? It seems to me, that they are coming from a place of envy, jealous, anger, frustration, or pain. They may be experience these emotions, and because misery loves company, they will do whatever it take to try to tear you down and you bring down to their levels. They are living in a scarcity mentality, which is a zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit— even with those who help in the production. They also have a hard time being genuinely happy for the other people.

On the other hand, the Abundance Mentality flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth or security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in the sharing of prestige, recognition, profits and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.

To put it simply, someone else's success does not have to threaten yours. It takes only a moment to tear them down using your words, while it may take more time and effort to build someone up using your words.

Remember, there is enough room at the table for everyone to eat, to win, and to succeed. You can go at it alone and try to achieve success at the expense of friendships and relationships, but wouldn't it be much more enjoyable and fulfilling to do it as a collective unit. There is no "I" in team, so use that collaboration, use that teamwork to make the dreamwork!