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Mysterium Pictorum

Mysterium Pictorum

By Lars Henriks
In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum!
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Mysterium Pictorum 08 - ELEPHANT

Mysterium Pictorum

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Mysterium Pictorum 39 - No Country for Old Men
When we were still in Turkey, we sat down with Doruk, a simple man from the streets, and discussed the Coen Brother's "No Country for Old Men". We were a bunch of ignorants towards the Western genre then and still are today, but we loved this. Listen to us love it. Also, we're eating 1,5 kilos of Turkish pickles over the course of this episode, because Turkish pickles are the best pickles in the world, by far!
58:20
May 04, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 38 - F. W. Murnau's FAUST (LIVE EPISODE!)
Our lost live Episode from the Obsessive Christmas Film Festival in December 2021! We did find it! The sound quality is not perfect, but it's a fun episode! We're talking about F. W. Murnau's expressionist horror masterpiece FAUST and rip it to shreds. We did not appreciate all the misogyny and rape, but we did appreciate the visuals. We also talk about some history (who among the actors were Nazis? Who wasn't?) fail at reading Lotte Eisner (too many big words) and discuss roofies a lot. An episode for the ages, clearly!
50:26
April 09, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 37 - NO END
We're talking Kieslowski again! We love him! This time, we watched BEZ KONCA / NO END. This brings us to discussions about losing our phones in East Berlin, unions and fatherly badassery, the Leftovers, A Ghost Story and many more lovely topics! Come join us in the Kieslowski love-fest!
46:28
March 23, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 36 - Satantango
We finally did it! We watched Bela Tarr's behemoth of slow cinema - And we LOVED it! As usual, we're the only arthouse film podcast around that will talk about Gilmore Girls, German trash TV, H. P. Lovecraft and orgies while discussing this certified classic. Your funniest bumbling group of ignorants is at it again! Listen right now - It's a great one!
01:33:18
March 15, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 35 - BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW
This time, we discussed Panos Cosmatos' "Beyond the Black Rainbow", as well as German casting shows (in particular "The Next Uri Geller") and xHamsters porn casting show "X Factor". Seriously, this is a good one!
50:39
February 18, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 34 - BELLADONNA OF SADNESS
We've watched some rape-y arthouse anime. Let's talk about it! 
53:04
February 02, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 33 - ZOMBI 2 / ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS
We're joined by filmmaker Christian Grundey (host of the German film podcast "Filme zum Dessert") to discuss Lucio Fulci's "ZOMBIE 2", also known as "ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS".  We also discuss zombie films in general, Italian horror films, film censorship in Germany, Voodoo, German amateur splatter - and then a cat farts.  You shouldn't miss this one! Write us an iTunes review! We love you! 
58:17
January 27, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 32 - BLAST OF SILENCE
Christmas Special! New Year’s Special! 2021 wrap-up! Recommendation lists! In-person-episode! This “Mysterium Pictorum” episode is so special, it more than makes up for the “meh” movie we watched! “A Blast of Silence” is an independent film noir crime drama from 1960’s New York, starts out really nice and then quickly becomes tedious.
01:15:43
January 17, 2022
Mysterium Pictorum 31 - Ashik Kerib
This time, we watched and discussed Sergej Parajanov's "Ashik Kerib" - Based on a Turkish fairytale. Along the way, we discussed the very eistence of Turkish fairytales, RomComs, Turkish RomComs and horny architecture, specifically that of religious temples of all kinds. Spoiler: Mosques are the horniest, by far. 
46:15
December 23, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 30 - DAMNATION
We're BACK! After a hiatus that went on for way to long (making films has a way of keeping you from talking about films), it's finally time to resume the weekly schedule! (Hopefully ...) It's Bela Tarr time again! We love Bela! We're talking about his film DAMNATION, and we also throw around ideas for which properties should be remade in the Bela Tarr style - Mean Girls? Leon the Professional? It's a fun thought!
46:15
December 06, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 29 - BEGOTTEN
We've watched "Begotten" this time. Have you heard about this one? If so, you'll be curious to hear us try to sum up its story, talk about similar films, define our film term of the week, praise E. Elias Mehrige's most famous film "Shadow of the Vampire" (while failing to pronounce his name correctly) and debate creation myths in general and the value of "Begotten" more specifically. Listen to it, it's fun!
46:49
September 10, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 28 - BBC's NEVERWHERE
This week, we're talking about BBC's "Neverwhere", straight from the 90's, written by Neil Gaiman! Sadly, none of us liked it. It's a stillborn masterpiece. But that Gaiman fella does show some potential as a writer.  Listen to the episode for our detailed take, Nisan's early onset dementia and the story about how Neil Gaiman was terribly rude to us!
55:37
September 05, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 27 - BACURAU
We absolutely loved "Bacurau", so this episode is a pure love fest! We're also discussing Gilmore Girls, climate change, Noam Chomsky and what our film term of the week, "ethical cinema", might mean in pre-apocalyptic times like ours. 
01:01:09
September 04, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 26 - HÄXAN
This time, Dave from Cinemallennials is joining us to discuss the silent Norwegian horror classic / early documentary "Häxan". Obviously, we also discuss The Lord of the Rings, our favourite Witch movies, the persecution of "witches" in medieval Europe, folk beliefs, silent film porn and more fun stuff! Give it a listen and get in touch with us if you have anything to add!
01:19:18
August 10, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 25 - SUNRISE
F. W. Murnau went to Hollywood to make "Sunrise", written by Carl Meyer, co-author of "Dr. Caligari". The film went on to win the first Oscar for "Best unique and artistic Picture" and his held in high regard by critics and audiences to this day.  Not by us, though. Not at all. Fuck this movie. Fuck the canon. What a repulsive piece of shit.  Listen to us ripping this 1927 classic to shreds!
57:03
August 06, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 24 - THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
Dr. Paula Blair is back! The host of the phenomenal "Audiovisual Cultures" Podcast talks to us about the German expressionist classic "The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari"! It's a long episode, but filled to the brim with fun, knowledge and insightful discussion! Also, there's dick jokes. Intellectual dick jokes, obviously! 
01:44:42
July 27, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 23 - ARTHUR & MERLIN (2015)
This time, we talked about the 2015 low budget fantasy epic "Arthur & Merlin", which inspired us to discuss adaptation of Arthurian legends and mythology in general, review Wolfgang Petersen's "Troy", pitch some myth adaptations of our own, question the possibilities of low budget hard fantasy in general, praise the Lovecraftian ideas while panning pretty much everything else about the film - For which we do feel very sorry. Term of the week: "Demo reel movie". There's reasons for that. 
01:02:28
July 21, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 22 - ANTIPORNO
We really liked Sion Sono's Antiporno! It also got us talking about Japanese cinema, German drama schools, theatre, feminism, leftist boomers, Yasmina Reza and many more fun topics! It's a nice one, give it a listen!
55:32
July 16, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 21 - ANDY WARHOL'S FLESH
With our guest, dissident journalist Sandra, we're discussing Andy Warhol's (but really Paul Morrissey's) debut feature "Flesh". Sadly, this is, again one of those episodes where we didn't like the film. At all. We're so sorry. Still: It got us talking! About prostitution, drugs, feminism, the validity of the Bechdel test, Boomers again (of course), Disney's A Bug's Life vs. Dreamworks' Antz (obviously) - It's a fun episode full of good vibes and I guarantee you - You need this in your life! 
01:05:13
July 06, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 20 - TARKOVSKY & PARAJANOV: ISLANDS
We've watched a tiresome short documentary with nothing to offer on YouTube, so we recommend great docs about artists instead of wasting everyone's time with this garbage.  Among other things, we're talking about why Marlon Brando will forever be cancelled (TW: rape), Christoph Schlingensief and why there's no good documentary about the making of his films, the meanings of our names, skinhead culture, TikTok, Facebook, Ingmar Bergman and Rainer Werner Fassbinder (of course), and as little as we can about this week's movie! Leave us a review, beloved audience!
59:01
June 29, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 19 - NOSTALGHIA
This week, we return to the enigmatic cinema of legendary Russian director Andrei Tarkovsky! We also cancel him for his rampant misogyny, discuss the dreaded "cancel culture" and the pros and cons (mainly the cons, since we don’t see many pros) of judging people in the context of their time and place, we (obviously) talk about Gilmore Girls a lot, about why it is probable that Atatürk decides on who gets into heaven and is hanging out there right now with Stalin, we illustrate the roots of the conflict between boomers and millennials and talk about so many more things - Watching „Nostalgia“, we would never have thought it would spark such a lively discussion, but here we are.
01:29:26
June 22, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 18 - AN ELEPHANT SITTING STILL
Hu Bo only made one film before his suicide. As it happens, that one film is a masterpiece for the ages. We're discussing "An Elephant sitting still" this time - And we're beyond impressed! We will also touch upon similar films like "Clueless" and "Batman Forever", obviously. 
01:17:49
June 16, 2021
Mytserium Pictorum 17 - SUPERMARKT
We had a guest again! Our friend Christoph (known as an accomplished maker of fun music videos under the pseudonym "Chrille": http://www.chrille.net/) joined us to discuss Roland Klick's confusing classic "Supermarkt".  We're discussing all things Hamburg, the 70s, German filmmaking, Bernd Eichinger, Marius Müller-Westernhagen, Lars will be pitching a remake and we're generally trying to figure out the enigma that is Roland Klick. Will we succeed? Listen to this week's episode to find out!
01:06:30
June 06, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 16 - ALPHAVILLE
This time we're angry like never before. We've spent 99 minutes in a boomer's mind by watching Godard's "ALPHAVILLE". Good grief, we did hate this one! We promise not to turn into a 2009-YouTube-style film hate comedy podcast, but "Alphaville" is truly awful. I'm still angry typing these show notes. We're discussing LoFi SciFi and giving some recommendations that are better than Alphaville, marveling at the rampant misogyny of this terrible piece of shit film, thinking about equally defining films for Generation X, Millennials and Gen Z, before becoming boomers ourselves in the end, when discussing how un-imaginative Gen-Z really is.  "Alphaville" shook us to our core and all kinds of feelings will get poured all over you when listening! Listen now! And write us an iTunes review! Do you disagree with us? Don't hesitate to shoot us a message and let us know! Let's discuss!
55:52
May 31, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 15 - ALL I DESIRE
We're talking about Douglas Sirk's classic film "All I desire" - So, obviously, being who we are, we tackle a variety of topics like feminism, cars, the Eurovision song contest, small towns vs. big cities, a phenomenon called "German Actor Face", Apple vs. Adroid, sunglasses, fashion and many more! It's another glorious one, lovelies - You don't want to miss out on this! Write us reviews on iTunes! We need them!
01:04:54
May 24, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 14 - ALICE (ON ALICE!)
www.larshenriks.de This week, we’ve watched Jan Svankmajer’s legendary „Alice in Wonderland“ adaptation - On LSD! And we’ve also recorded this podcast - On LSD. It was legal! We bought it from Donald Trump! It’s a whole story! Listen to it! Alice in Wonderland makes us talk about Death, Social Realism, „Lords of Chaos“, Lewis Carroll, Peter Pan, Pedophilia (fun topic, eh?), Thomas Gottschalk’s brother, filmmaking as children and many more fascinating topics, while we’re coming down from our trip. This is the most unique podcast episode you’ll ever hear! Don’t miss out!
57:43
May 21, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 13 - AFTER THE REHEARSAL
This week, we’ve watched Ingmar Bergman’s TV play „After the Rehearsal“ - And loved it! We talk about Ingmar Bergman in general, about BoJack Horseman, Joel Havers, legal LSD from Berlin, Trump’s nephew (or something), „The Bacchae“ by Euripides, Fassbinder, lockdown regulations in Turkey and Germany and many more exciting topics. Don’t miss this especially exquisite episode of your favorite film podcast!
01:00:00
May 10, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 12 - A STREET CAT NAMED BOB
We've watched the important cinematic masterpiece "A Street Cat named Bob" and came away with edgy opinions on drugs, a brief conversation on Buffy, many stories about cats on film sets, anecdotes about German bureaucracy, fart jokes about the Turkish president Erdogan, theories about the honesty of Brits and Americans and many more fun topics. Also: Yarin, our Mystery Man, is a secret agent and was, this time, calling in from a secret war zone in a different dimension. That's why his audio sounds so ... Exciting! It's basically a Marvel blockbuster for your ears! You're welcome!
01:07:43
May 03, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 11 - A GHOST STORY
We’re a podcast divided, again. „A Ghost Story“ did to us what it did to the rest of its audience: It deeply shook and moved some of us, while repelling others as clichéd and dull. We’re discussing the art and themes of the film, obviously (grief, depression, death - the whole fun package), and also touch upon Percy Jackson, YA novels, Thomas Brezina, we re-evaluate the film Versus, talk about A24, Eighth Grade, Millennials, being 30, the Hollywood fish cult of Dagon and how to toughen up oneself to watch a ton of arthouse movies. TW: Depression, rape, eating disorders
59:08
April 29, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 10 - A BETTER TOMORROW
www.larshenriks.de  This time, we talked about the Hong Kong action classic „A Better Tomorrow“ by John Woo. Sadly, we really didn’t like it. Listen to us grapple with that fact, doubt ourselves, think about why this film was so popular, briefly discuss Dragon Ball Z, turning 30, Gangster films in general, Takashi Miike and his Dead or Alive series, Martin Scorsese, racism, German film censorship and many more fun topics on our way to the answer to the nagging question why none of us liked this influential movie.
01:06:02
April 18, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 09 - A TURIN HORSE
We're watching a film by Bela Tarr and Agnes Hranitzky again! This time, we're watching "A Turin Horse".  TW: Depression, tasteless jokes about suicide "A Turin Horse" is a film about two people owning a horse that once met Nietzsche, living a life that apparently illustrates Nietzsche's philosophy. It's two and a half hours of depression. We talk about it, about our frustrations with it, and about how to prepare potatoes properly - Because the people in this film don't do that! 
01:15:47
April 11, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 08 - ELEPHANT
This time, Paula Blair from the Audiovisual Cultures Podcast is our guest! AV Cultures: https://audiovisualcultures.wordpress.com/ Paula's Blog: https://peablair.blogspot.com/ We're talking about Alan Clarke's influential short film "Elephant" and Paula explains a lot us about the Norther Irish conflict. Thanks to her, this episode is filled to the brim with valuable information about the violence in Ireland in all its complex entanglements. We also talk about the vast and, sadly, mostly untapped potential of television.
01:35:25
April 11, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 07 - A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
MYSTERIUM PICTORUM EPISODE 07 - A TALE OF TWO SISTERS In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! This time, we discuss the Korean horror classic „A Tale of Two Sisters“ by Kim Jee-woon. We’ve possibly never had so much fun with a movie we’ve watched for this podcast, before. What a ride! Listen in, if you want to hear us discuss not only this amazing horror flick, but ghost stories in general, our lack of knowledge about Korean society and cinema, the fairy tale the film is based on, Korean shamanism and mythology, cats with diarrhea, plot twists, art vs. entertainment, the scientific possibilities of spoilers, the last films we’ve watched in cinemas and many more things!
01:24:47
March 24, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 06 - THE MAN FROM LONDON
In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! THE MAN FROM LONDON - ANUS BRUSHES AND NON-EXISTANTIALISM This time, we're talking about "The Man from London" by Bela Tarr, covering topics like Patriarchy, Tilda Swinton, Christoph Schlingensief, film noir, dubbing, deconstruction of genre, unrealistic non-existentialism and, of course, anus brushes, along the way. 
01:25:44
March 17, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 05 - SPOKOJ / THE CALM
DIG A SLUT HOLE, FIRST! In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! This time, we are discussing Kristof Kieslowski’s „Spokoj / The Calm“ - And for the first time, our podcast is truly divided! But first things first: Nisan’s mom Özden is joining us for this week’s women’s day special episode on the beautiful Polisch tradition of digging romantic „slut holes“ to have sex in. We are discussing social realism and comparing it to Mumblecore, exchange horrible hotel / asylum seeker home stories, compare knowledge on Poland, talk about history, the 70’s, progressive labor movements, authoritarian „socialist“ states, strikes, women’s movements, the strike in Lodz, Turkish cinema - It’s a wild and informative episode that you truly shouldn’t miss out on!
01:10:18
March 08, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 04 - SOLARIS
BOOB-DEATH! In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! This time, we are discussing Andrei Tarkovsky’s Science Fiction classic SOLARIS! Go with us on a journey through our sprawling discussion sparked by this masterpiece, ranging from Turkish Kral Pop and German Schlager to American country music, back to German television and the Eurovision Song Contest - And that’s only the first five minutes! We explain the concept of „Dad movies“ (analogue to „Dad rock), briefly go into Harry Potter (want to know which Hoghwarts houses we’re in? That’s only one of the secrets we’ll tell you!), talk about film festival judges, algorithm filmmaking, bad film schools, Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney, the adoption of cats, Fassbinder, Event Horizon - Oh, by the way, in this episode, it will be proposed that Paul W. S. Anderson is a better director than Tarkovsky. Disagree? Shoot us a message! We also coin a film studies term again, of course! This week, it’s „Boob-Death“! Boob-Death is a very common phenomenon in film that needs to be dissected and discussed more! But we don’t have time for that, because we still have to discuss Steam punk (or try to explain the concept to Nisan), Woody Allen (yellow blood - die hard fans of ours will chuckle), the Expo 2000 (we’re not done with this one! This topic will be resumed at some point!), the story of the prodigal son, practical effects vs. CGI, the Soviet Hobbit, A24, the death of cinema, slow cinema (in particular the movies Burning and Under the Skin), and, last but not least, man-eating vaginas. Sounds fun? Then dive right in!
01:37:33
March 02, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 03 - 964 PINOCCHIO
www.larshenriks.de  In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! 964 PINOCCHIO - INDUSTRIALLY DYSTOPIAN FICTION We coined another term this time! Follow this podcast to keep up with future lingo of film studies! This time, we are talking about Shozin Fukui's Techno Rave Cyberpunk film 964 Pinocchio! This leads to a lively discussion, covering such topics as Japanese No Budget film, Tetsuo, Blade Runner, Sexism in spaces for teenagers, Ghost in the Shell, Non-narrative filmmaking, American remakes, overcoming trauma, Asian Cinema, Soviet Cyberpunk, Night Watch, Fassbinder's World on a Wire, Matrix, Tokyo, Futurism, Flashmobs, Pi, Japanese Jews, Lobotomy, Chemical drugs vs. herbal drugs, Lockdown frustration, being straight edge, Japanese acting, No theater, Puke, Possession, Slaughtered Vomit Dolls - Before delivering the ultimative interpretation to this enigmatic film! "964 Pinocchio - EXPLAINED!" Tune in for a good time! Leave us a review, if you're cool!
01:16:60
February 22, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 02 - VERSUS
VERSUS - THE CRYSTAL METH SCHOOL OF ACTING In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! In our second episode, we tackle VERSUS by RYUHEI KITAMURA. In this context, we discuss martial arts, no budget filmmaking, splatter, censorship, the German film industry, Japanese cinema in general, drugs substituting for drama schools, East-Asian feminism, film pitches of our own, and many more delightful topics! Listen, review & subscribe, if you like! We love you!
01:07:47
February 18, 2021
Mysterium Pictorum 01 - THE COLOR OF POMEGRANATES
THE COLOR OF POMEGRANATES - SEXUAL FRUSTRATION IS COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS! In an abandoned underground city at the Spanish coast, near Malaga, I found a USB stick containing 300 random movies from arthouse to weird, from obscure to notorious. Now, in Lockdown, it is time to watch and discuss them all in an international podcast project. Two Turks and a German, two filmmakers and a mystery man - Welcome to Mysterium Pictorum! In our first episode, we tackle The Color Of Pomegranates by Sergei Parajanov. In this context, we discuss Soviet Cinema, Armenian culture, arthouse films, drugs to take while watching weird movies (some say ketamine, some say mushrooms - it’s controversial), the poet Sayat Nova, the internet scam that is Uniplaces, monks, pomegranates, orgies with nuns and many more delightful topics! Listen, review & subscribe, if you like! We love you!
01:02:58
February 12, 2021