Sex and Vancity

How do we navigate love, sex and dating in a world where people love to disappear? In the short but sweet final episode of season 2, I take you through my inner thoughts and TikTok algorithm to discuss the psychology of ghosting - the what, the why, and the consequences it has on us long term. I also share the pros to singledom, and the messages that get me through hard times when I feel alone. I hope this message finds you in a good place. Thank you so much for listening. 

In the second part of a two-part series on anxiety - journalist, writer, and creative queen Dannielle Piper joins me to discuss our experiences with sex as people with anxiety. Connecting in J-school over a shared love of self-deprecating memes and dark humour, Dannielle has always been a comforting space to confide in. In this episode, we discuss our fear and anxiety surrounding experiences such as pregnancy, pleasure, and pain. We aim to bring awareness on the destigmatization vs. normalization on topics surrounding sex, and the importance of emotionally-informed* sex education. [This episode was recorded in May 2022].

In the first part of a two-part series on anxiety - journalist, writer, and creative queen Dannielle Piper joins me to discuss our experiences in dating as people with anxiety. Connecting in J-school over a shared love of self-deprecating memes and dark humour, Dannielle has always been a comforting space to confide in. In this episode, we discuss attachment styles, advice we've learned through our own personal experiences, and the importance of collective healing. But most importantly, to not shy away from your feelings! As Dannielle says best: "Your anxiety is a messenger and it's trying to tell you something about yourself." [This episode was recorded in May 2022]. 

Megan is back! After discussing consent and the importance of human connection in episode “3. The Sexual Grey Area” - we check-in one year later about our take aways and what she’s been up to since. In this jam-packed episode, we discuss sobriety, healing through childhood trauma, love languages, energy exchanges in relationships, and how to use all of that to pursue more authentic connections with others and yourself. (This episode was recorded on January 21, 2022. Content Warning for conversations surrounding nonconsensual sex, emotional healing, and sobriety). 

Unicorn hunters? Cuffed jeans? Unethical promiscuity? These are just SOME of the stereotypes of bisexuality. On the first episode of Season 2, I am joined by my friend Abi Hayward (Editor at Canadian Geographic) to discuss bisexuality - what it is, what it means to us, and the stereotypes we both hate and love. (This episode was recorded on October 16, 2021. Content Warning for conversations surrounding distress due to uncomfortable/unwanted sexual experiences.) 

Katie from "Cross Out Toxicity" is a sexual health advocate and future sex and relationship coach! Currently finishing up her sex and intimacy counselling certificate, she shares some of her life experiences and advice: from Lube 101 and safe sex toys (like ones from Sensuale Intimate Wellness), to proper communication, boundary setting, and knowing your worth in all kinds of relationships. Follow Katie on Instagram at @crossouttoxicity! 

How were you talked to about sex and dating!? My older brother (Johnathan Schrale) and I discuss our experiences growing up in the same household - with a shared mom but different dads. We cover lots of subjects from masculinity and gendered expectations, to body issues and the multiple ways we would try to get our crush’s attention on MSN Messenger in the early 2000s. (CW: Uncomfortable/unwanted sexual situations, mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, addiction [ex. alcoholism], eating disorders, and body dysmorphia.)

How do you define intimacy? I am joined by my dear friend Cindy Dai-Thiessen to discuss marriage, virgin-shaming, and how intimacy goes beyond just the "physical"! We share what it was like as virgins in a world surrounded by sexually experienced peers, and how to live your life shame-free no matter how much (or little) sex you may be having now. Sex Positivity is for EVERYONE, and you deserve to feel good with where you're at. (CW: Conversations around sex and religion; relationships and "the church")

Do you have a person you always go back to and aren't quite sure why? Meet "Sportcheck": the man behind my excessive social media stalking in episode 5. In the first half of this episode, I reflect back on the beginning of our love story. Then my mom ("4. Office Romances") & Cassandra Stefanic ("2. Daddy Issues") are back! They join in for emotional support, advice giving, and hilarious commentary as we navigate all the multifaceted parts of a toxic relationship, and the challenging reasons why it is so hard to know the right thing to do when your head and your heart are always at war. (CW: Conversations surrounding emotional abuse (manipulation, gaslighting), mental illness (anxiety, depression), and struggles with religious and cultural differences.)

Have you done your Kegels today!?

My friend Aymie and I talk about her magical “vajay” - what it was like giving birth at the young age of 19, and the power of Kegel exercises in helping with better orgasms. We also share stories about the pros and cons of having big boobs (Aymie) vs. a big butt (me), how educational WAP really is, and what it’s like getting back into the dating world as a young mother of two. 

Have you ever spent hours heavily creeping someone online? My roommate (Kallan Lyons) and I admit that as investigative journalists, we are trained to find information on people…but sometimes we take it too far.

In this episode, we discuss social media etiquette, dating apps, and why I am super triggered by the store Sportcheck. We also get into the unique side of dating in Vancouver that I haven’t experienced in any other city: when actors, social media influencers, and models flood your dating apps and love life, it's hard to escape their hold on your heart. 

Let’s get vulnerable! My Mom is here to share all of her angelic wisdom and talk with me about office romances - how she met a couple very important people in her life, and my own Jim-and-Pam-from-The-Office-style fling that greatly impacted my life. We also discuss the importance of valuing your partner(s), why I am scarred from introducing guys to my parents, and generational differences when it comes to ghosting, vulnerability, and communication surrounding sex.

My mom gives me a pep talk we all need to hear, and I hope it reminds you that YOU, too, deserve to be treated and loved in all the best ways.

Megan Crouse is my favourite person to talk with about sex. She’s well-spoken, researched, and experienced on the topic in ways that help create a world of open-mindedness and anti-shame. On today’s episode, she guides us through the sexual “grey” area (the area that exists somewhere between consent and wanting to say no that many of us have had trouble navigating throughout our lives). We also discuss the big differences between sex and dating in our hometowns of Alberta vs. where we live now in BC, investing in "vagina travel", and the importance of building human connection and community during this lonely pandemic era. (CW: Consent, discussions of unwanted and uncomfortable sexual experiences.)

Cassandra Stefanic and I have some strong (sometimes offensive) views on the constitution of marriage and monogamy. I’m joined by her (aka one of my best friends on the planet) to talk about all the reasons why: childhood trauma, death, divorce, and more. She teaches me the art of pooping without her partner knowing, I talk about a recent one night stand, and we both discuss the pros & cons of being on polar opposite ends of the romantic relationship spectrum. (CW: Grief, loss, and mental health struggles. Discussions of sexual kinks.) 

I am joined by Brenden Dixon and Rolando Hinojosa, who take the lead on telling me all about anal sex - the prep, the safety, and the pandemic of selfish tops. Together, we talk about everything from dating apps and hook ups with strangers in parks, to body hair, ghosting, and the unionization of bottoms.

Welcome to Sex and Vancity - the new podcast about sex, love, and dating in the city of Vancouver and beyond! Your host awkwardly reads from a script and introduces a bit about herself and the podcast.