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Life Changing Principles

Life Changing Principles

By LeAnn Hunt

LeAnn shares the principles, tools, and skills (all tiny superpowers) she used everyday as a mom of seven, as a Life Coach, and in her classroom.

These PODCASTS are part of the larger Life Changing Membership courses. To get access to the addition course material like videos, bonuses, and Live-Zoom Classroom recordings, visit us at LifeChangingPrinciples.com
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Weakness [Perfectionism Course]

Life Changing PrinciplesMar 08, 2021

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12:54
Compassion Focused Therapy [Harvard Compassion Class]

Compassion Focused Therapy [Harvard Compassion Class]

Paul Gilbert, a UK Therapist, noticed that when he did CBT as he was trained, that clients were reframing their thoughts, but still adding negative tones or additional comments. When you "do nothing" the brain defaults to calling up old memories and imagining the future. Our brains our tricky like this and produce thoughts and emotions without our consent. So much of our negative self-talk is not our fault. It's just what brains do. It's not our fault, but it is our brain, so it's our responsibility. Gilbert suggests a series of practices that help us get to know our tricky brain and relate to ourselves with compassion We can incorporate practices from Compassion Focused Therapy into our self-coaching skills. Skills include: recognizing the unsettled mind, working with attention, soothing breathing rhythm, creating a safe place, calling up a compassionate image, the compassionate self, and compassion for the critical self.

May 04, 202218:60
Fierce Self-Compassion [Harvard Compassion Class]

Fierce Self-Compassion [Harvard Compassion Class]

We know self-compassion can be comforting and nurturing. Self-Compassion can also be fierce. It can lead us to do hard things like set boundaries, meet our needs, and make personal development changes Protecting Self-Compassion breaks call up a time you need to protect your time, energy, or self. Say: This isn't right, I'm not alone in this, I will stand up for myself. Providing Self-Compassion breaks recognize our unmet needs. Say: This is important to me, everyone's needs count including mine, I am committed to meeting my needs as best I can Motivating Self-Compassion breaks encourage us with a vision of what we want rather than negative self-talk. Say: This is what I envision for myself, it's normal to have a learning curve, I'm going to help myself reach my goals.

Apr 20, 202216:03
Self-Compassion [Harvard Compassion Class]

Self-Compassion [Harvard Compassion Class]

We use Self-Compassion when we realize we've been unkind to ourselves. There are five surprises when we begin to practice self-compassion 1- We become really honest with ourselves 2- We realize we are human, even average in some ways. 3- We have to admit we are hurting 4- We get strong because compassion isn't just nice, it has a backbone 5- We face the tough stuff rather than turning away from it.

Apr 15, 202214:04
Brain and Body [Harvard Compassion Class]

Brain and Body [Harvard Compassion Class]

Compassion training affects the brain and body and that's more powerful than we think it is. The brain is neuroplastic, not hardwired. We have mirror neurons & neurons in the heart and gut. Compassion training affects our brain and body in measurable ways. It makes us more resilient, have less inflammation, less reactive amygdala, and less depression. We can train in compassion by imagining extending compassion to people we love, to ourselves, to neutral people, to difficult people, and to everyone. This practice creates changes in the amygdala as well as reducing stress hormones throughout the body.

Apr 11, 202218:26
Sustained [Harvard Compassion Class]

Sustained [Harvard Compassion Class]

Sustained compassion is compassion for people who aren't going away any time soon, like our family members. One example is BALM, a recovery program for family members of recovering addicts.  We're going to 28,686 days on average - which means self compassion is in order for when it goes well and when it doesn't. To sustain compassion we need to look at both the short run and the long run. To sustain compassion over the long run, we have to include ourselves in the circle of compassion. Two skills that help are checking in with ourselves and checking in with the situation before we decide what a wise compassionate response would be. As we check in, we can adjust how we respond to people and change up our interactions with our family members.

Apr 11, 202214:15
Equanimity [Harvard Compassion Class]

Equanimity [Harvard Compassion Class]

Are you able to stay calm in the middle of tense situations? Equanimity is the ability to stay calm in the midst of chaos or a difficult situation. Mindfulness can help us stay calm. Simply bringing our attention to the present moment of our breath or our body triggers a cascade of calming responses in the body. We can also stay calm by accepting what is. Practice acceptance by checking in with the inner players that show up in all of us from time to time.  We need both equanimity and compassion. Equanimity keeps compassion from consuming itself and compassion keeps equanimity from turning into indifference.

Apr 11, 202215:54
Skillful Means [Harvard Compassion Class]

Skillful Means [Harvard Compassion Class]

How do we help others and actually have it be effective? Today's principle is a Buddhist concept called Skillful Means. It's all about doing what actually helps an individual in a given moment or situation. How do we go about developing skillful means? First is the awareness that our help isn't helping. It's a painful realization, but also empowering, because now we can do something about it. Second, is creatively trying novel things, paying close attention to what is actually going on, guessing what might work, and having the courage to give it a go. It will feel awkward at first, but with a little patience to see how it plays out, we will begin to build skillful means.

Mar 21, 202214:07
Compassion Warrior [Harvard Compassion Class]

Compassion Warrior [Harvard Compassion Class]

What is a Compassion Warrior?  In Buddhist thought, a Compassion Warrior is someone who's reached the door of personal enlightenment, then hears the cries of the world, and goes back to stay on earth to relieve suffering. In Buddhist Art, a third eye symbolizes wisdom, elongated ears symbolize deep listening, a foot on the ground symbolizes a readiness to act, and 1,000 arms symbolizes the many ways in which we can relieve suffering The story of Chenrezig helps us let go of our idealistic drive to solve other people's problems and to be willing, instead, to be with people in the messy middle of their lives. Family Leaders are compassion warriors because they often commit to helping their family members for their whole lives. What kind of compassion warrior do you want to be?

Mar 14, 202214:37
Intention Setting [Harvard Compassion Class]

Intention Setting [Harvard Compassion Class]

How do I Decide when, how, and whom to help? Intention Setting - is a Buddhist practice in Mindfulness. What are you trying to create within yourself that will prepare you to act in the world? What motivates you to help others? When you become familiar with what you want to have happen as a result of your compassion, you can create a statement of intention that you can use to start the day or to focus on in your mindfulness practice.

Mar 07, 202212:50
Truths to End Suffering [Harvard Compassion Class]

Truths to End Suffering [Harvard Compassion Class]

Compassion is noticing suffering and the desire to relieve it. But what is suffering?  In Buddhist thought there are 4 noble truths. 

1. No one can escape the fact that suffering exists for all of us. 

2. The way we interact with suffering can create more suffering 

3. There is a way to end suffering 

4. Let's start practicing.

Feb 23, 202218:14
In the Moment [Harvard Compassion Class]

In the Moment [Harvard Compassion Class]

Compassion happens in the moment. The first step is noticing that we or or others are struggling or suffering.  A moment of compassion comes with the desire to help. If we really want to be helpful in a moment of compassion we need 3 things: 

Permission to be Human - realizing that we are not alone in what we are going through. Others suffer like this too. It's part of being human.

Equanimity - staying grounded and calm during a tough moment without getting swept away by your own or others thoughts and emotions.

Wisdom - being willing to stay in the moment, uncertain of the outcome, letting the process unfold as you listen deeply to yourself and others.

lifechangingprinciples.com

Feb 18, 202215:55
What is Compassion? [Harvard Compassion Class]

What is Compassion? [Harvard Compassion Class]

We will have 16 episodes about Compassion from the Harvard Divinity school. We are diving into the Buddhist tradition of compassion and suffering, as well as the current research and their theories. Marrying 2500 years of tradition and decades of research, we will walk away with a deeper understanding that we can use to be more compassionate in actions and thoughts.

www.lifechangingprinciples.com

Feb 09, 202218:08
Declutter Christmas

Declutter Christmas

Marie Kondo is a Japanese Internet sensation who teaches you to declutter your homes and fold your socks. My favorite part of her method is thanking the things you are about to let go of in your life.  It honors the reasons they came into your life in the first place. Just like we declutter our shirts and shoes, we can declutter our Christmas traditions and expectations Make a list and ask your kids, young or old, which traditions they love on a scale of 1 to 10. Ask which they'd like to help with or take charge of. When it's time to let a tradition go, thank it for its service in your life, honor its story of how it came to be there, and then let it go.

Dec 16, 202114:28
Between Stimulus and Response Part 2
Dec 09, 202116:28
Between Stimulus and Response
Dec 02, 202115:57
Emotion vs Solution Coping
Nov 18, 202113:42
Social Support Bolsters Resilience

Social Support Bolsters Resilience

Principle: Social Support bolsters resilience.  We have more social support than we think. The perception of social support is just as important as having social support. Knowing someone has your back is important to resilience. There are 8 different kinds of social support we can give one another. Before you jump in to give social support, check in to see if they actually want it and believe it will be helpful.

Nov 10, 202107:14
Trust Your Stress Response

Trust Your Stress Response

You can trust your stress response. It's there to help you. 

1. You can trust your stress response because it is pattern matching to prepare you to react in real time. 

2. You can trust your stress response because it is just a message interrupting you. That's it's job. Once you've been notified, you get to choose what to do with the information. 

3. You can trust your stress response because it automatically turns itself off. You don't have to do anything! Just wait it out for a few minutes.

Nov 03, 202117:46
Breathe

Breathe

Breathing is a tool you can use to calm the stress response in your body. There are 3 principles that help us understand how and why breathing helps us respond to stress. 

1. Breathing triggers a parasympathetic relaxation response that ripples through your whole body 

2. Breathing gives you a sense of calm which not only feels good, but also gives you a sense of control and improves the likelihood that you'll find a solution to whatever just temporarily overwhelmed your ability to cope. 

3. Being unable to calm yourself and your nervous system creates long-term health problems. Basically, breathing can give you your brain back.

Oct 30, 202116:18
Solutions

Solutions

When we are looking for solutions, 3 principles will help us. 1. No one is coming. Sounds depressing, but it's actually a positive psychology principle. No one is coming, so stop waiting for them and stand up and act. 2. For everything you are complaining about, someone on the planet has found a solution that you are just not willing to implement. It's not them. It's your willingness to do what it takes. 3. Your first solution isn't going to work. All 3 of these principles prompt you to act in small ways and then iterate and continue to act, which is the one sure way to find your solution

Oct 22, 202109:52
Boundaries

Boundaries

Boundaries

Oct 14, 202115:57
I Statements

I Statements

An "I statement", (I Feel About Because) is a classic useful statement found in assertiveness training, conflict management, parenting, and communication classes, and as a skill learned in therapy. Principle 1. Not speaking up when someone's behavior is affecting you causes you to shrink in your own life. I statements share the impact someone is having on your life. Principle 2. Taking the time to create an "I statement" helps you to separate the behavior from your reaction to it Principle 3. Creating "I statements" helps you identify what you are thinking Principle 4. Naming the emotion you are feeling calms that emotion. Principle 5. I statements help you own your own emotions, experience, and expectations. A person's impact can be positive or negative, so I statements can also be use to give credit and appreciation when their behavior is impacting you positively.

Oct 07, 202114:56
Naming the Emotion

Naming the Emotion

Naming the Emotion is a skill we use when someone else is upset. It quiets the emotion and builds trust. The principles underneath why this skill works and why it's important are found in research. Let's explore some research-based principles. Reflective listening changes a person's feelings and ideas in a problem-solving, insight-producing, tension-releasing, responsibility-building, conflict-reducing way. Need to be heard and understood can be measured in the brain. Being understood is rewarding and socially connecting. Not being understood lights up the parts of the brain where negative emotion, social pain, and thinking of how different you are from others is experienced. Having more emotion words (emotional granularity) helps you be less reactive and have more ideas for how to cope so you can solve the problem that caused the emotion in the first place. Interoception (sensing emotions and other things going on inside our own bodies) is the first step in how we create emotions and second step is giving that bodily sensation or emotion a name. These principles support and explain why reflective listening and naming the emotion are such powerful tiny superpowers.

Sep 29, 202117:24
Reflective Listening

Reflective Listening

PRINCIPLE: Having a framework gives you a framework to hang your learning on and helps you apply it in real life.  Today we're talking about the skill of reflective listening. In context, we reflectively listen when someone else is upset.  There is power in having a framework in your head so you can use the skills you learn in real time. Let's learn how to reflective listen. There are 3 skills to reflective listening - 1. listen. 2. summarize 3. name the emotion 1. Listening - means stop talking, stop thinking about other things, try to understand what they are saying from their perspective. 2. Summarizing - means saying something that shows them you heard what they said. Use some of their same words, but don't parrot back everything. 3. Name the Emotion - try to guess what emotion they are feeling. Each of these 3 steps are separate skills. I'd estimate that they took me about 10-20 hours each spanning several months or even a couple of years in classes I took to get adequately good at them.  Now that I have the basics down - having the framework gives me a direction to go in a conversation when someone is upset so it's less upsetting to me.

Sep 23, 202115:17
It's not about the nail

It's not about the nail

It's Not About the Nail is a viral 1-minute video about a woman telling her husband about a problem and her husband tries to fix it, but what she really wants is for him to listen. 21 Million people have watched the video and it captures a moment that gets repeated millions of times in millions of households. Principle: Noticing Patterns Points to the Potential for Change. When we have the same problem over and over, we are seeing a pattern and that means it can be dissected and solved. One reason we keep having the same problem over and over again is that our brains do so many things automatically. We can drive all the way to work without remembering it because our brains handle even a complex task like driving almost automatically.  Noticing a pattern, then pulling it apart to shake up the automaticity takes some time, but is well worth it in the long run.

Sep 20, 202115:53
Whitespace

Whitespace

whitespace

Sep 08, 202113:04
Permission

Permission

Create a permission page in your goal journal when you need to give yourself permission to take time for yourself, disappoint others, do things out of order, or any other permission you need in order to do it your way.

Aug 29, 202113:47
Education Week

Education Week

Education Week

Aug 29, 202114:48
Messy Middle

Messy Middle

The moment you set a goal you have plunged yourself into the messy middle. We stay in the messy middle of our goals all the way up to the moment we finally complete the goal. It's important to make plans for our goals, and at the same time, not get too attached to them. We often don't know what's around the bend for our goal. We don't know what we don't know. Often the best way to approach a goal like this is to take the next step, then check in, take the next step, then check in. What do you do if you're recording your goals in a goal journal and end up with a messy middle kind of page? 

1. Permission to stop half way, declare it done, and move on to another strategy. 

2. Permission to do things out of order. You can do just the parts you like or need. 

3. Permission to miss a day and to fluctuate in the amount of effort you give to a goal over time. 

Being in the messy middle of a goal can be fun when you know how to check in and navigate it.

Aug 02, 202116:56
No Clear Path

No Clear Path

Sometimes Goals have No Clear Path We write down our goals and our big dreams, but there's no more room on the page to connect them to reality. The next day we end up with a Big Dreams Hangover - that low after the high of dreaming big. When we have goals with no clear path, we can start with information gathering goals. Information gathering goals are their own legit goal. Instead of "How am I going to change my sleep patterns?" we can choose an information gathering goal like Googling sleep issues, asking friends, joining a facebook group, or making an appointment with a doctor. None of those things will solve our sleep problem, but they will give us information that gets us one step closer. When we brainstorm possibilities and don't know which one will work becuase there's no clear path, we can set exploration goals - a series of tiny experiments to try out different options and see how we like them. When you need a bridge between your real life and the dreams you want, try building goal journal pages that lay some ground under where you are now. What has worked for you in the past? What are your signature strengths? How can you use those strengths to approach your goal? And what is the next smallest step I can take toward my goal?

Jul 18, 202116:05
Reflect

Reflect

Reflect Reflecting creates power in your life by reminding you of what you've done and that you are building something that you value. When you're trying to decide which goals you want to do, try imagining yourself at the end and looking back to reflect. Ask yourself: What will I wish I had done? What will I be grateful I did? What will I regret if I didn't do it? One client wanted to feel recharged at the end of the summer. She imagined herself at the end of the summer and asked those very questions, which helped her create clear goals for what she could do now to feel recharged at the end of the summer. Reflecting in advance helps you figure out what you really want. Reflecting on a mundane day connects how you spent your time to what you value. Collecting these ordinary things into one list gives them the importance they deserve. Recording your goal efforts and other things you do gives you something to reflect back on.  Reflecting on things you've realized helps you apply those realizations to your life, so learning life's lessons doesn't get lost.

Jul 18, 202118:30
Honor Your Efforts

Honor Your Efforts

How can I honor my efforts? For example, one client used to have lists and goals and felt accomplished checking them off. Later, as a mom, she struggled with the constant need to manage kids, house, and get meals on the table. Because that effort was just "part of the job," and wasn't something she wanted to do, she dismissed it as effort. Another client had a goal of a year of CONNECTION. At the end of the day she'd ask herself, what do I do all day? Spending 2 hours on the phone doesn't seem like you're accomplishing anything, but when you honor your effort, it is moving her closer to her goal. A third client had a 3 week writing intensive goal. Each day she'd report on her goal and set a new one. But none of us wants to feel like we're on a treadmill of accomplishment. She also needed a way to honor her previous efforts and make them visible to remind her how her efforts were adding up and building something substantial.

Jul 07, 202113:44
What I Learned from Having a Coach

What I Learned from Having a Coach

I'm a Family Life and Goals Coach to family leaders who have wants, needs, and goals of their own while they are shouldering the responsibility of running a household and leading and loving a family. This new podcast series is about what I learned coaching. The first episode is about what I learned having my own coach. Principle #1 is when I have a coach, I dream bigger. I may not always choose those big dreams, but I allow myself to dream big and allow myself to think about what if it happened sooner than later. What would I need to do and be to make that happen? Principle #2 is "The Act of Getting a Coach is Vulnerable." So . . . don't be surprised if you cry. At least I did. It's vulnerable to both dream big and say things I wouldn't normally say out loud.  Principle #3 is "How can you get a piece of that now?" Essentially, we think that arriving at goals will get us something. Respect at work. Happiness. Satisfaction. My coach helps me see, you can get a piece of what you want now by working on your thoughts and by taking action in immediate microscopic ways.

Jun 30, 202111:48
Goal Traction [Anatomy of Goals]

Goal Traction [Anatomy of Goals]

How to get real traction on our goals. We need traction because we save goals for the things we can't just pull off. We often think of goals as hard. What does hard even mean? Can you tell me why your goal is "hard" without using the word "hard"? Is it awkward, time-consuming, not what you expected? Research shows when you think something is easy but can't do it you think there's something wrong with you. If you think it's challenging, you're willing to persist longer. Reframing a "hard" goal into a "challenging" goal inspires motivation and persistance. Research also shows that when we are stressed, we are less persistent when unexpected challenges come up. They also found that if you have a sense of control, that the stress doesn't matter as much anymore. If we want goal traction, we have to make an effectual struggle. We need to choose action steps that will actually move you toward your goal, not just randomly in the vacinity or topic of your goal.   The final principle for goal traction is the positive psychology principle that No One Is Coming. No one is coming to rescue you. No one is coming to change your life for you.

Apr 02, 202115:17
Adjust a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Adjust a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Adjusting a goal can give us more goal traction. There are 3 ways to adjust our goal. We can keep going as we were, we can adjust it and make it smaller, add a reminder, or whatever other adjustment it needs, or we can let a goal go. When we adjust a goal we are facing reality and making changes that will get us traction on our goals.  One way to do that is to be humble enough to create a small enough next step to be successful. Sometimes we aren't willing to make a small enough goal because we think "it shouldn't be this hard." That kind of thinking leads us to believe something is wrong with us and so we quit trying. What if we told ourselves a different story like this. This goal is harder than I expected and I'm still learning how to make progress here. To me that's challenging and motivating. It's also not personal. I'd be energized to go after a goal like that. When you adjust a goal, try very small steps. When you are adjusting your goals you can also let them go. You don't have to keep goals you don't like anymore. Just like Marie Kondo, you can thank your goals for their service and let go of a goal that doesn't serve you anymore.

Apr 02, 202112:26
Evaluate a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Evaluate a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

In the middle of a goal it can be scary to stop and evaluate your progress.  We often don't want to face how things are going because we might have to own it. Sometimes big emotions come up when we evaluate a goal. It can feel like we are evaluating ourselves instead. The important part of evaluating a goal is becoming calm and non-judgmental and asking 3 predictable questions: What went well and why? What didn't go well? What did you learn?  When we know what to expect, the step of evaluating can be straightforward and helpful. Those questions can give us insight and traction on our goals.

Apr 02, 202111:43
Track a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Track a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

The way we track a goal can give us more traction on our goals. Usually when we think of tracking we think of charts. Charts can be helpful, but only if they are serving you. Consider avoiding charts that create gaps when time passes. Rather than a daily chart, try a tally chart so you can see how many times you do it, but if you miss a day it's not the end of the world. Tracking can give us data. Tracking honors our progress and makes it visible. Tracking can be a reminder because it is visible. Tracking can also help us figure out when we are done with our goal. Consider using a journal or log to track you goals. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is to check in on a regular basis and a journal or log can help us see patterns in our goal efforts.

Apr 02, 202110:34
Effort a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Effort a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

When we think of getting traction on our goals, it's easy to think of effort. Of course effort will get us traction. But it can be surprising how many different kinds of effort exist. Effort isn't just physical labor. It's also the mental effort of concentrating, doing boring and awkward things, persisting and coming back after a failure, continuing when you're tired, or emotional effort.  It's important to be agile in our effort, not just pushing through all the time, but taking a step back to see what effort will really help here. Goals can take emotional effort as well as physical or mental effort. Gearing up for a task or dealing with the strong emotions that come up when you do something new or fail are actual skills that require effort. Willingness statements can be helpful in anticipating the kinds of effort that might be necessary to get traction on and accomplish your goals.

Apr 02, 202111:43
Remember a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Remember a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

One way to get traction on our goals is to do a better job of remembering them. Why is it so hard to remember a goal? It's because remembering is a matter of context and triggers. You set the goal in a different time, place, activity, and mood than when you execute the goal. To remember a goal, create triggers that show up in the time and place you want to do the goal. It's also helpful to recreate the mood you had when you set the goal. Time has passed between when you set the goal and are executing the goal, and in that passage of time your mood is going to change. You can recreate the mood by writing a note to remind yourself why you set the goal in the first place.

Apr 02, 202112:59
Choose a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Choose a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Great questions help you choose a better goal which helps you get traction on your goal. Using the example of organizing your kitchen, we use questions to design a better, more specific goal. How can we be more specific with our goals? We can be clear about what done looks like and be specific about our next actionable steps. How do we know our goal is realistic? We can ask ourselves how confident we are on a scale of 1-10 and explore why we are where we are. Often these questions will lead us to set very clear, very tiny goals. Have the humility to break a goal down as far as it needs to go. Sometimes our hovering expectations might make us feel like we shouldn't have to start this small or that we should already know how to do this.  Starting small and being clear where we are going, even with a challenging goal, can help us focus, be persistent, see our own progress, and gain real traction on our goals.

Mar 08, 202117:07
Before a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Before a Goal [Anatomy of Goals]

Let's look at a framework that will help us get traction on our goals before a goal even begins. Traction comes from engaging in our goals. Like a gear that can be disengaged and just spin or engaged and move large vehicles forward, engaging in goals moves us forward.  Goal loops, with their 7 steps, are little pieces of goals. Each goal loop we complete gives us traction on our goal. Even if we fail, a goal loop gives us information and learning so we can move forward. The real traction comes when we iterate a goal loop. Iteration is doing a process over and over again. Each iteration is like a marble that we add to our goal jar.  The cool thing is that when we engage with goals, we also get marbles in other life jars because engaging with goals builds personal capacity, character, resilience, self reliance, skills, awareness of ourselves and reality, and take-away principles learned form our life's experiences.

Mar 08, 202113:06
Your Life is Already Working [Goal Getters Course]

Your Life is Already Working [Goal Getters Course]

We are going to have a lifetime of goals. A lifetime of goals is like a garden where the plants are goals and the garden is our life. This analogy teaches us ten things about goals in our lives. We're going to have goals all of our lives. Even if we don't set formal goals, our lives are filled with goal-oriented behaviors. Looking at a lifetime of goals as a garden gives us insight into how to manage all the many goals we will have throughout our lifetimes

Mar 08, 202110:30
Goals vs. Goal Loops [Goal Getters Course]

Goals vs. Goal Loops [Goal Getters Course]

Understanding the difference between Goals and Goal Loops gives us power over our goals. It feels good to finish a goal. But of course those good feelings don't last forever. We always return to our baseline of happiness eventually. When we set goals we aren't just after that happy feeling. Goals help us gain skills, get things we want, strengthen our character traits, and grow.  Goals are like having a destination on a map. Goal loops are like pulling out the map and asking ourselves some questions. Where are we? Do we know where to go next? Do we still want to go to our destination? Our goals can sometimes feel like they are bossing us around. We set a goal and our future self isn't in the mood to do that goal anymore. When we set the goal we can remind ourselves why we set the goal. Sometimes we'll want to carry on and work harder. Sometimes we'll want to pivot and adjust the goal. And sometimes we want a new goal entirely. Goal Loops give us the power to adjust our goals because they give us a moment to pause in the middle of the goal. Goal loop questions help us see what's really happening with our goals, which gives us more control over them. Goal loops also give us an alternative to quitting a goal. No one wants to be a quitter, but doggedly hanging onto a goal that is not serving us is also not helpful. Goal Loops are the perfect time to check in and intentionally shift your goal.

Mar 08, 202115:33
Failure Moment [Goal Getters Course]

Failure Moment [Goal Getters Course]

Failure happens to everyone. Failure is good for growth and personal development. We all know that. So why do we often fear and avoid failure? Because it feels bad. It's uncomfortable. Many of us freak out, numb, avoid, pretend, or blame when we expereince the discomfort of failure. Instead we can practice regulating our emotions, managing our thoughts, and using goal loops to work through moments of failure. The great thing is - we can practice these skills before we encounter failure. As we practice them our brains learn new patterns and we can take moments of failure in stride and move forward without getting stuck.

Mar 08, 202115:12
Goal Loops [Goal Getters Course]

Goal Loops [Goal Getters Course]

Goal loops give you traction on your goals by giving you a simple way to evaluate: What is a goal loop? A piece of a goal that ends in 3 questions. What went well and why? What didn't go well? and What did you learn? Goal looping a goal that's not going well turns everything around. It gives you options and pause points to decide how you want to proceed. Goal loops help you approach goals from a position of strength, face the reality of your situation, and dig you out of your current slump. Goal loops have lots of other benefits. Give it a listen!

Mar 08, 202113:37
Goal Terrain [Goal Getters course]

Goal Terrain [Goal Getters course]

Our goals have a terrain of their own and are laid out on the terrain of our lives. How does this principle help? It helps us not take things personally when things go wrong, because it's just terrain. It helps us be able to zoom out and back in to gain perspective.  Even though the unexpected will happen it's still important to plan out our goals.  Plans don't predict. They prepare. It's important to plan goals not because they predict how things will turn out, but because they give us sign posts for where we are going so we have direction and can prepare for the unexpected.  As we learn to embrace the messy middle of terrain, it actually becomes enjoyable. We are goal oriented creatures. We are built for this. We are built to move toward the things we want in the future. And we are built to be agile and flexible when our plans don't go as planned.

Mar 08, 202112:53
New Year's Resolutions [Goal Getters Course]

New Year's Resolutions [Goal Getters Course]

New Year's Resolutions are famous for being broken. So why do we continue to set them? It's powerful to have a fresh look at our lives.  It's important to believe in possibilities. So if they are important, why don't we keep our resolutions?  The science and business principle of complex versus complicated can shed some light on it. Complicated problem is solvable. Lots of moving parts, needs some skill and knowledge, strategic thinking. But if you're smart enough it's solvable. Complex problems are unpredictable. There's lots of moving parts, but they interact in unexpected ways.  A car engine is complicated. You have to know how engines work, but then they are predictable and engine problems can be solved. Traffic is complex. No matter how good your roads and traffic lights are, you can't predict how many cars will be on the road, individual drivers behavior, where or when a crash will occur, or the behavior of drivers slowing to watch baby ducks on the side of the road.  You solve complicated problems.  You manage complex ones.  New Year's Resolutions are almost always complex, so they need a new approach.

Mar 08, 202111:21
Children & Youth Tips Pt 2

Children & Youth Tips Pt 2

Inner Change. After holding our breaths for even more changes in April 2019 Conference, there were no more new announcements. It was a little disappointing at first. No major shifts! But there were a lot of talks about change. About buckling your seatbelt and preparing for the ride with more changes to come. With the ongoing restoration. The website describes the home-centered nature of the changes before they were publically announced. It focuses on the individual needs of families around the world and promotes flexibility and reducing the church burden on families. It even suggests a slightly new emphasis on Monday nights - suggesting spiritual learning on Sundays and activities on Mondays, adding to emphasize the flexible nature of the program or at other times as families choose. But leaders - still keep Mondays open. Overall the emphasis promotes personal development, growth and an inner change

Mar 08, 202109:45
Children & Youth Tips Pt 1

Children & Youth Tips Pt 1

Begin!  Just begin! That was the message when the Children and Youth Initiative first rolled out.  Begin planning activities with your family. Begin setting personal goals. Begin in any way that works for your family. This is a special podcast pulled from the archives when we first started Goals with Kids and were still writing the Goal Getters book. I was written before Children and Youth was fully rolled out. It's based on powerful principles of faith as a principle of action. Of learning by taking action. Of action bias. Of using our agency. It also introduces the idea of goal loops for the very first time! I'm excited to give you a peek into how it all started! Give it a listen! #begin #strivetobe #lifechangingprinciples #principles #goals #personaldevelopment #childrenandyouth #COJCOLDS #faith #agency #actionbias

Mar 08, 202113:03
Get Kids Interested in Goals Pt 2

Get Kids Interested in Goals Pt 2

Here's a couple more ways to get your kids interested in goals: Build an Achievement board with post-it notes posted in a new, novel place your kids will notice. The bathroom door or mirror, on the fridge, or the wall going up the stairs.  Don't wait for days or weeks or even semesters to put up only big achievements. Make post-its for microscopic achievements. Make 7 notes for the 7 steps of a recipe. Help kids see the PROCESS of doing goals. That goal steps lead to goal achievement. Seeing microscopic goals on the achievement wall sends them the messages that their achievements can "make the wall" too. We can also set family goals to encourage kids to get the hang of goal setting. Make the goals simple and fun.

Mar 08, 202110:07