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Doing Divorce Different
A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

By Lesa Koski

Alleviate your fear of divorce and do it a different way. Join Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski for candid conversations to take the fear out of Divorce. You will be empowered to heal through your divorce!
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Saddle Up Segment: Give Yourself A Break
Saddle Up Segment: Give Yourself A Break
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today’s guest Janet left us with two pieces of advice. First, remember that you can only show up the best you can each day, so if you are struggling, give yourself a break, take a breath, and remember that tomorrow is another day. Secondly, understand that co-parenting is a learned skill that needs a lot of practice. A good co-parenting relationship won’t happen overnight, so keep focusing on the children and practicing! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Janet Price’s Website Janet Price’s Instagram Janet Price’s LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
03:50
February 02, 2023
What I Wish I Would Have Known About Co-Parenting After Divorce
What I Wish I Would Have Known About Co-Parenting After Divorce
Today I am joined by divorce specialist Janet Price. After being a child of divorce and then going through a divorce of her own, Janet has some excellent tips on navigating a co-parenting relationship. During today’s episode, she talks about her experience through her divorce, her difficulties, and the healing that took place, which left her with a huge a-ha moment. Janet provides some excellent advice about what she would have done differently if she faced a divorce with children again. Tune in today to learn how co-parenting is a learned skill and how to support your children so they can become successful adults. In this episode: [1:38] What led Janet to do this work? [6:12] What does Janet wish she would have known during her divorce? [11:35] How to create a co-parenting relationship when the marriage felt like you were a single parent. [13:40] What do you do if you have entirely different values/styles of parenting? [18:15] Janet’s tips on what she would do differently. Key Takeaways: Even if parents can’t have a civil co-parenting relationship, focusing on the children and their needs should be the highest priority. Your children will be ok as long as they have at least one strong, emotionally healthy, solid value parent to help guide them in their life. Quotes: “I had all the power in the world to not have that conflict, and in fact, it was what I was doing because of my history that was as I was trying to reduce it was the exact thing that was triggering my co-parent. And so that's when I decided I have this awakening, and I would like to help other parents see it so that the children do not have to experience the trauma of divorce.” - Janet Price  “Co-parenting as the literal word can be a very broad spectrum, and that’s ok because sometimes the parents will be better off if you don’t try forcing it.” - Janet Price “It’s ok to share your values with your children and help raise them in your values in your household, and you don't have to say anything about the other parent.” - Janet Price Guest Bio: Janet Price is a certified divorce specialist, certified co-parenting specialist, and conscious co-parenting coach who empowers loving parents to rise out of the middle and move from surviving to thriving.  Janet is passionate about supporting parents' transition from intimate partners to their business partner relationship for the kids. Janet knows the dynamics of divorcing and co-parenting as a child product of high-conflict divorce and a mother involved in high-conflict parenting.  Janet's coaching programs and one on one practice provide parents with tools, skills, strategies, and support to co-parent effectively and transition to their business partner relationship. Resources: Janet Price’s Website Janet Price’s Instagram Janet Price’s LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
24:38
January 31, 2023
Saddle Up Segment: Become Financially Savvy
Saddle Up Segment: Become Financially Savvy
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Lisa Zeiderman’s number one tip is to become financially savvy. It is crucial that you understand your finances and that someone else isn’t doing it for you. If you need assistance walking through your finances, Savvy Ladies is an excellent free resource that pairs women with financial advisors! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Savvy Ladies Free Financial Support Lisa Zeiderman’s Website Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
03:06
January 26, 2023
How NY High Conflict Divorce Litigator Lisa Zeiderman Does Divorce Differently
How NY High Conflict Divorce Litigator Lisa Zeiderman Does Divorce Differently
Today I had the honor of talking with a high-conflict divorce attorney from NY, Lisa Zeiderman. During this episode, we discuss how Minnesota and New York divorce processes are similar and different. She discussed her divorce journey and how she and her ex-spouse could co-parent. She shares a story of a high-conflict divorce that she worked through and the lessons learned from that divorce. Tune in today to learn some great tips on going through a divorce as a parent and tips on becoming financially savvy. In this episode: [3:15] What is Lisa’s background, and how did she become a divorce attorney? [5:41] What was Lisa’s divorce like? [11:23] Does NY require mediation for a divorce? [13:20] When should an attorney be looped in for a MN divorce? [14:30] Lisa shares a story about a high-conflict divorce. [16:39] What is the best way to disclose all the assets? Key Takeaways: Children will remember the experience they had with each parent over the number of hours they spent with each parent. It’s really about the quality of time that was spent with the kids over the quantity of hours spent. When going through a divorce with children, it's key to remember that their needs change as they grow up. What is necessary for a 2-year-old will differ from a 15-year-old. Co-parent and work with your ex-spouse throughout the years to do what is best for the child. Be honest and straightforward with the information you are disclosing. If you are hiding something, it will get found out, and when it does, it reduces trust. Quotes: “Overall, I think what we did do well was we did not demean the other parent to our child. And I think that was something that was very important, and my child, who is now a grown woman, actually has a great relationship with both of us.” - Lisa Zeiderman “Mediation is great when it's simplistic, and everybody is in the know, and everybody comes with an equal playing field essentially, and both parties can advocate for themselves. And I think mediation is great when the attorneys are down to an issue to two, but if you are looking at an entire financial partnership between two people, you really need to make sure you have all of the facts.”  - Lisa Zeiderman Guest Bio: Lisa Zeiderman is a highly accomplished attorney in all areas of matrimonial and family law. Named both Crain’s New York Notable Diverse Lawyer and a Business Notable Woman Lawyer for 2022, Ms. Zeiderman is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators, and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children. Resources: Lisa Zeiderman’s Website Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram Savvy Ladies Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
24:05
January 24, 2023
Saddle Up Segment: Finding Your North Star Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Finding Your North Star Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Sarah Armstrong advises focusing on your North Star through the divorce. Have a picture of what you want the divorce to turn out like and have that in your mind each time you are dealing with pieces of the divorce. Step back and keep your child(ren) in focus as well. Remember that people can live a new phase of life just under a new structure. Learning to co-parent and create a good divorce will be best for you, your ex-spouse, and your child(ren). Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Book The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
04:49
January 19, 2023
A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce
A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce
Today I am joined by Sarah Armstrong, the author of The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce. Sarah wrote this book to empower other moms to focus on partnering with their ex-spouse to keep the peace for their child(ren). She gives some incredible tips on preparing your child(ren) for divorce, handling the “firsts” post-divorce, and continuing a solid co-parenting relationship. Sarah shares the impact of divorce on children and how to do the best job of protecting them from the parents' decision. Tune in today to learn how to help your children cope with the process and how to create a good divorce. In this episode: How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? to a Good Divorce? Was Sarah’s divorce easy, and what was her experience with her ex-spouse? How do you prepare children for divorce? How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? How do you continue a solid co-parenting relationship?  Key Takeaways: Children don’t choose to get divorced but are most significantly impacted by that decision. Think about what’s best for your children when going through the divorce - that will lead you to a “good divorce.” Utilizing the compartmental muscle is a critical skill post-divorce. Choosing to save a frustration or negative emotion to be kept and released when children are not around. Focusing on reducing the impact on the children will do wonders for them as they grow up. They will watch how the parents handle divorce and feel the effects of changing houses, being apart from their parents for holidays, etc. It is a big deal to them, so creating a consistent routine and being supportive is vital when going through the divorce and beyond. Quotes: “Divorce is an action. You get divorced. What you put your children through during that process can have such an impact emotionally, on their view on marriage and relationships and just their overall happiness.” - Sarah Armstrong “Your children are watching you every moment along the way. What you're showing them is that you will focus on re-living or re-litigating why you got divorced and who did something to the other person. Or will you look ahead and say we are creating a new positive, happy life here and moving forward? And I think the compartmentalization muscle is a key component to think about when trying to move on and look ahead.” - Sarah Armstrong Resources:  The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Book The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
24:41
January 17, 2023
Saddle Up Segment: Forgiveness Does Not Excuse What Somebody Did
Saddle Up Segment: Forgiveness Does Not Excuse What Somebody Did
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Forgiveness does not excuse what somebody did, however, it is a way for you to feel freedom after difficult situations. As you work through forgiveness, you will gain an understanding of what happened, and you set yourself up to move forward. It doesn't mean you won’t feel bad again; it means that when old stories pop up, you gain the ability to know you are safe. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Lesa Koski Resources Forgiveness Worksheet
02:18
January 12, 2023
Forgiveness Through Divorce in MN and Beyond
Forgiveness Through Divorce in MN and Beyond
On today’s episode of our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, we discuss the importance of forgiveness. Tracy walks us through the Four N’s of forgiveness and how to work through each step. Holding on to resentment can cause a lot of turmoil in life, affecting your friendships and relationships. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that the person is correct; it just means that you are letting go of the emotions impacting your life and setting yourself free. Tune in today to learn how to find thankfulness and positive intentions out of the things in life that feel heavy. In this episode: [2:40] Lesa’s story of what she needs to forgive from her teenage years. [5:53] Lesa and Tracy walk through the 4 N’s to work through forgiveness. [16:00] How to write a letter of forgiveness. [17:05] Why are the 4 N’s necessary? [19:05] Next month's topic: Worthiness Key Takeaways: Your brain is either your worst enemy or your best friend. It will either work for us or against us. Quiet down the negative thoughts and turn up the strength within us. Forgiveness is a gift that you are giving yourself. There is much that can be learned from these situations and why forgiveness is needed. Find the things you can be thankful for, and make the forgiveness about the lessons learned. When people avoid forgiveness, they will hold on to the situations causing a grudge or grief, which will continue to impact their life. Quotes: “It doesn't excuse what somebody did, you understand what happened, and you are moving forward. It doesn't mean that you don’t feel bad again or you don't have thoughts pop up that hurt you. Still, when old stories pop up, you let yourself know you are safe.” - Tracy Pleschourt  “Part of neutralizing it was to have empathy for her and to think maybe what she went through, I can’t know exactly.” - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Lesa Koski Resources Forgiveness Worksheet
23:35
January 10, 2023
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three of our guest experts on how you can do divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to focus on forgiveness. Holding on to resentment can negatively affect you and keep you from moving on in your life. Next, working on your love life is necessary for the post-divorce experience. Uncovering your trauma and healing the wounds you experienced in your last relationship will have your next love relationship unfold differently. Lastly, get support and have people by your side who you can confide in, which helps you realize you are not alone in what you are going through. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Marrie Simpson Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach Dr. Thomas Jordan Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book Tracy Malone: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website
06:38
January 05, 2023
Is it Time to Divorce? You Don't Have to Fight it Out in Court
Is it Time to Divorce? You Don't Have to Fight it Out in Court
Today I am so excited to share my interview with Keith and Sheila Hittner from the Our Healthy Homes radio show. In this dynamic episode we talk about why I became a mediator and how I work with and support my clients. We also discuss one of the biggest stressors in relationships, why mediation is so important, and who is a good fit for mediation. Tune in to learn more about the mediation process from beginning to end and so much more! In this episode: [01:00] Why Lesa became a mediator. [05:00] Why finances are stressors in relationships. Can a couple fighting over finances come to an agreement and stay together? [09:20] Building a mindful budget. [10:45] How does Lesa help her clients do divorce differently? [16:00] What does the mediation process look like? [21:30] How does Lesa work with different personality types? [23:00] Lesa shares how being a mediator has helped her grow as a person. [25:00] Lesa shares her online Minnesota Divorce Course. [30:00] Why working together with a mediator through divorce can work. [36:00] Why being honest through the divorce process is so important to create a successful divorce plan. Key Takeaways: Finances are one of the main stressors in relationships. Divorce is hard. There are a lot of emotions and frustrations involved. A mediator can help a divorcing couple work through that process and set themselves up for success. You can make your divorce how you want it. It will be within the parameters of the law, but it’s your divorce. As long as you understand what you are doing, shouldn’t you be the one deciding that? Quotes: “Money is stressful. There may not be enough of it or you may feel like one person isn’t pulling their weight or someone loses a job, that can add stress and lead someone down the road towards divorce.” - Lesa Koski “Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones you’re not the best to.” - Lesa Koski “If you want to find what the problem is, most of the time the problem is looking back at you in the mirror. So if you deal with your own issues, you’re better able to get along with other people.” - Keith Hittner Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Our Healthy Homes Website Our Healthy Homes Facebook Our Healthy Homes Twitter Our Healthy Homes Podcast
38:56
January 03, 2023
Saddle Up Segment: The Importance of Talk Therapy
Saddle Up Segment: The Importance of Talk Therapy
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Brian Burns shares the five stages of grief and how they are similar when going through a divorce, as you are experiencing the death of the marriage. He talks about how important it is to utilize talk therapy. Finding someone you can confide in and feel seen and known is vital in working through grief. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns Website Psychology Today for Therapy Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
01:48
December 29, 2022
Divorce and Grief the Death of Your Marriage in MN and Beyond
Divorce and Grief the Death of Your Marriage in MN and Beyond
Today, we are joined by marriage and family therapist Brian Burns to discuss grief. Brian starts the conversation by defining grief and the five different stages that someone goes through when experiencing grief. He explains what complicated grief is and how grief ties into getting divorced as it is the death of your marriage. Brian provides excellent tips on noticing the signs of getting stuck in grief and how to cope with complicated feelings. This episode is full of great information and steps on moving forward in your life after the event that causes grief in your life. In this episode: [2:27] Brian defines grief and what it can look like. [8:15] Brain talks about his experience dealing with internal struggles after dropping children off at college.[10:35] What is complicated vs. uncomplicated grief? [14:49] Where do people get stuck with grief, and how do they cope with the feelings? [18:20] What does it mean to take care of your life? [22:30] What is the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score? [23:43] What should you look for when finding a therapist? Key Takeaways: The five stages of grief are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance; however, they don't happen linearly. Each person handles the stages of grief in a different order and, at times, goes back to the stages multiple times. Complicated grief is what a person experiences when handling something that shouldn't have happened, such as the death of a child or divorce. It is something you cannot understand that wasn’t supposed to happen. This is different than uncomplicated grief, which is something that was expected to happen, such as someone dying from old age. To move through grief, you must take charge of your life. Understand who you are, what's important to you, who you want to be ten years from now, and who you are as a parent. When you have answers to these questions, you have resilience which helps you handle the situations that come your way. Quotes: “When you lose a marriage that was important to you, that never is ok, that's never the way it's supposed to be. But it is what happened. So acceptance means the ability to tolerate or manage or shoulder the new reality and still have a meaningful, happy purpose-driven life.” - Brian Burns “Divorce is complicated grief because even if you are in the position of choosing it because your seeing the marriage is no longer healthy for you or anyone, there's still the what ifs, there's still that sense of what does this mean about me, could I have prevented this, what could my partner have done, did I choose wrong?” - Brian Burns “When life kicks you in the ass, that's a chance to take the exit that you choose, to take control in a way that leads you to a life of more meaning, more knowledge, more experience, that is just as happy and fulfilling as the one you lost, or that was taken from you.” - Brian Burns Resources: Brian Burns Website Psychology Today for Therapy Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
32:19
December 27, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Protecting Yourself From A Narcissist
Saddle Up Segment: Protecting Yourself From A Narcissist
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part two of our episode on narcissism, Tracy shares three pieces of advice. First, protect yourself emotionally through this long process. Next, don’t give up hope; this will end one day - focus on the fact that you are free from the abuse and able to move on with your life. Lastly, ensure you have as much detail as possible in the divorce decree limiting any areas of gray space. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
05:30
December 22, 2022
Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part 2
Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part 2
Today we have part two of our Divorcing Your Narcissist episode with Tracy Malone. During this portion of the episode, one of Lesa’s clients comes on to ask questions regarding what she is experiencing in her divorce. Tracy helps the client navigate how to handle triggers and keep herself from shutting down. How to decide what is worth fighting for and knowing the rights around large items like pension and retirement. Lastly, Tracy gives wonderful advice about “Narc-Proofing,” the divorce decree to eliminate gray areas. Tune in to this episode for some incredible coaching tips to set yourself up for success when divorcing a narcissist. In this episode: [1:35] Lesa’s client joins the episode to ask her questions. [2:54] The best ways to deal with outlandish accusations and triggers [7:57] How do you make the decision-making process move from mediation to court? [10:34] Decision-making tips around what to fight for and what to let go. [16:40] How do you “Narc-proof” your divorce decree? Key Takeaways: Narcissists know your triggers, so they will always go after your greatest strengths. Their goal is to shut you down, so the goal is knowing that this is a game and you have to keep yourself from shutting down. Prepare yourself so that you can protect yourself. Research your rights when going through a divorce on the big things (pension, retirement, the house, etc.) If you are fighting over more minor things like items in the home, determine if the item is worth the amount of money it will cost to fight for it. Make sure everything is mapped out to the extreme detail. There should be no gray areas in the divorce decree. Write out the specifics so if they go through any gray areas, they are in contempt of court. Include dates and times for everything. Quotes: “We can't control what they’re going to say or do. And so for us, we have to manage how we respond to them.” - Tracy Malone “They're just intimidating you; their entitlement to everything is not true. This is gaslighting 101; this is how they keep a victim trapped by not letting them know their options. Most people will fall and just be like, oh, ok, I don't get anything; I’ll take this much because they’re used to being manipulated.” - Tracy Malone “Knowing that the narc-proofing is really making sure that everything has a date and a time and if he’s supposed to pay you payments.” - Tracy Malone Guest Bio: Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard. Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups. She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media. Resources: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Targeted Healing Journals Narcissist Abuse Support Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
27:47
December 20, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How To Know If Someone Is A Narcissist
Saddle Up Segment: How To Know If Someone Is A Narcissist
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part one of our episode about narcissism, Tracy said that the most common indicator that someone is narcissistic is that they have no compassion for you. Narcissism is on a broad spectrum, so if you feel like a narcissist has impacted your life, I encourage you to focus on your healing vs. giving them a label. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
02:39
December 15, 2022
Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part One
Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part One
In today’s episode, we are joined by Author and Private Coach, Tracy Malone.  Tracy has dealt with narcissism her whole life with her family and relationships. Today she talks to us about the signs of narcissism. Tracy covers what it can be like when someone becomes aware that they are in a relationship with a narcissist. Many people may be unaware that their loved one is a narcissist and don’t learn until they are faced with a divorce. Tune in today to know what to look out for and how to navigate healing from a narcissistic relationship. Don’t forget to tune in next week for part 2 of this episode! In this episode: [1:35] Tracy shares her difficult divorce from her narcissistic ex husband. [5:35] Is it common for people to be unaware of narcissism? [7:04] Does Tracy work with people still healing from a history of narcissism? [8:49] What are the signs of narcissism? [14:37] How can marriages last 30-40 years if one spouse is a narcissist? [16:08] Tracy talks about what self-absorption means. [17:05] Can a narcissist do mediation, or is it a fight in court? Key Takeaways: Gaslighting creates an environment where you begin to question reality. You start to lose your identity and forget your worth. Narcissists can have fun but can also be cruel to their children behind closed doors or show false love, which keeps family and friends close. It is common for them to be passive-aggressive and to give the silent treatment. This can make divorcing a narcissist very challenging. The biggest sign that someone is a narcissist is that they have no compassion for others, even the person they’ve been with for many years. They can be married to someone for 30+ years and suddenly not care about the other person's well-being. Quotes: “I think most people don't know it until they are faced with divorce. Someone says, `You know I think they are narcissists’, and they start to do the deep dive that I did.” - Tracy Malone “The public persona of what our family was, was so not the reality, but that was what they were selling.” - Tracy Malone “Narcissists use false love to manipulate people; they are selfish. They have no ability to feel shame, empathy, or guilt. Therefore they can do whatever they want; it doesn't matter if you've been married to them for 30 years, you are pond scum to them when they can only see black and white.” - Tracy Malone “During divorce, something happens. We call it a narcissistic injury. Whether they decided or you decided, basically, you go from all good to all evil.”  - Tracy Malone Guest Bio: Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard. Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups. She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media. Resources: Divorcing Your Narcissist Book Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
23:39
December 13, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Creating A Thought That You Can Believe In
Saddle Up Segment: Creating A Thought That You Can Believe In
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today we talked about truly loving yourself and creating a thought you believe in. Lesa’s thought is, “I am a woman learning how not to care what people think when I jump into a pool in a bathing suit with my grandson.” Next, set up boundaries for yourself! Hop on my website to grab your boundary worksheet and learn what your boundaries are, the consequences, and how to set them up. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
02:17
December 08, 2022
Ten Minutes with Coach Tracy Self Love and Boundaries
Ten Minutes with Coach Tracy Self Love and Boundaries
It’s time for our monthly check-in with Tracy Pleschourt! During this episode, we follow up on Lesa’s self-doubt from last month and work on improving her self-doubt. Then we dive into Tracy’s boundary-setting advice. Tracy talks about the importance of understanding why you need boundaries, how they benefit individuals, and how to focus on boundaries being self-care. Head to the website today to grab a copy of the boundary-setting sheet! In this episode: [3:10] How to work through your thoughts on self-doubt. [10:11] How do you set up boundaries? [12:26] How is a boundary different than a request? [15:20] Sitting and thinking about things in your life that make you frustrated. [19:05] How to create a deal breaker if you don’t move forward with the boundary you are setting. [19:30] Creating consequences when boundaries aren’t managed. Key Takeaways: Becoming self-made means that you are constantly working on yourself. There is no finish life. You are going to continue to grow and evolve throughout life. Boundaries are not set to control other people; they are set to get the results you want for your life. Quotes: “Just notice the difference in how you feel when you're operating from a belief that sounds very judgmental like I can't, or I’m not worthy of attending something, I’m not worthy of getting into the pool without a care in the world. There's a whole lot of judgment wrapped up in that. That doesn't feel very good, and if it doesn't feel very good, you’re not going to show up as your best self.” - Tracy Pleschourt “Boundaries ultimately are created for you. It is kind of an operating system for the results that you want to create for you. It isn't a manipulation tactic; it isn't an ultimatum; it isn't in an effort to control someone else. Boundaries are created so that you get results that you want from your life.” - Tracy Pleschourt “Self-care comes in all shapes and sizes. This is a self-care to add to the toolbox, try it out; it may or may not work, but this is another great tool to take care of yourself.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Guest Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn
26:36
December 06, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Tips for Co-Parenting Well Together
Saddle Up Segment: Tips for Co-Parenting Well Together
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week Lesa talks about the importance of co-parenting well together, putting the focus on working together for your kids. The goal of parenting is to create resilient, strong humans. If you are feeling triggered by your ex, put a picture of your children on the phone, so when they are with your ex, and they call, you’ll think of your children rather than any negative emotions. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
01:56
December 01, 2022
Parenting Through Divorce
Parenting Through Divorce
For today’s episode, we’re sharing an episode from the Peace and Parenting Podcast where Lesa was a guest. During this interview, Lesa gives some great tips on how to work together in a co-parenting relationship. Lesa and Michelle discuss how to create a healthy relationship and why it is vital for children to see their parents working together. Lesa dives into creating a parenting plan and what to keep in mind while working through some tough decisions. Lastly, Michelle talks about hope after divorce and how there is life afterward! Tune in today for some of Lesa’s best tips! In this episode: [3:01] What does it mean to become a co-parenting specialist? [6:10] Tips when working together as co-parents. [9:00] How to work through situations when healthy co-parenting isn’t an option. [10:46] As time goes on, how does the relationship shift post-divorce? [12:01] Why taking care of yourself is essential during a divorce. [15:45] How to create an excellent parenting plan. [20:22] There is hope after divorce. Key Takeaways: If given the right environment, kids can recover from the trauma of their parents getting divorced. Self-care is vital so that you are as well as you can be and as healthy as you can be, to take care of your children in the best way possible. When the primary caretaker is depleted, everything falls apart. Be a united front for the children. Have the children be front and center when thinking about your parenting plan. Keep a photo of the children in front of you while you work through the plan to remember why you are creating a co-parenting relationship. Quotes: “The one child who really seemed to thrive was the one where the parents kept it focused on him and his brother. The parents did birthday parties together, they celebrated holidays together, and I want to say it's not all doom and gloom. I know not everybody has the opportunity to co-parent well with someone. There are situations where that isn't possible, but the people coming to me want to work together, that doesn't mean they like each other, or it's not hard.” - Lesa Koski “If you can be in the same room as that person, do your very best because those kids need that, and you're going to be connected for the rest of your lives; there's going to be weddings and grandchildren, there's always events.” - Lesa Koski “There is life after divorce!” - Michelle Kenney Resources: Split Documentary Peace and Parenting Podcast Lesa Koski Website
23:39
November 29, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Becoming Aware of Your Relationship
Saddle Up Segment: Becoming Aware of Your Relationship
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today Dr. Thomas Jordan gives us his advice on how to work on your love life. Look inside of yourself, determine what things you replicate in your relationships, and get conscious of changing them to healthier attributes that you will look for in your next partner. The time between divorce and your next relationship is so important to work on yourself. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book
05:52
November 24, 2022
Create a Healthy Love Life After Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
Create a Healthy Love Life After Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
In today’s episode, we are joined by Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst Dr. Thomas Jordan. Dr. Thomas Jordan has spent over thirty years studying love relationships. He talks with us about what it looks like to replicate the relationships each individual sees growing up and how those relationships carry over into adulthood. We talk about the process of getting conscious of the unhealthy factors in relationships that individuals face and how to turn those into healthy aspects for future relationships. Tune in today to hear how to become conscious about your programming and create a healthy love life. In this episode: [1:10] Dr. Thomas Jordan tells us what led him to study love relationships. [2:56] What is unconscious learning? [6:43] What is a disappointing love life? [12:13] Dr. Thomas Jordan talks about the replication process - emotion and physical attributes. [16:02] Getting unfamiliar is uncomfortable and can be anxiety-producing. [18:19] How do people recreate the experiences that have been unhealthy in their life? [20:53] How is re-creation done? [25:22] How can becoming conscious about your programming help in marriage also? Key Takeaways: Once you become conscious of the things you learned as a child, you can unlearn the items that no longer feel healthy and change your ways. What we have learned becomes a belief, which is what we look for in relationships. This all happens subconsciously. Until you become aware, this is the path that you will follow. Going through a divorce opens up the opportunity to get curious about your past relationships, uncover what you’ve been repeating, and re-create what you want your love life to look like. Quotes: “We can do something about the type of relationship we set up when we fall in love. The relationship we set up, healthy or unhealthy, is what contains that love and grows it. If you set up a healthy relationship, fine; there's a good chance the love will last a lifetime. If you set up an unhealthy relationship, then there can be problems because the relationship in and of itself can stifle the love that you're experiencing, and I believe that's what happens with a divorce.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan “We have the wonderful ability to challenge things we’ve learned, challenge habits, challenge things we’re used to, challenge what we’re familiar with.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan “You’re the person that creates your own love life experience.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses Love Life Learning Center Learn to Love Book
33:06
November 22, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Make the Holidays Positive Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Make the Holidays Positive Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Brian Burns’ number one tip is to remember you are in charge of your life and how your future goes. Take charge of your attitude and make the holidays positive. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns’s Website Lesa Koski Website Brian Burns Website
04:13
November 17, 2022
Handling the Holidays Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
Handling the Holidays Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
Marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns is back! In today’s episode, we talk about handling the stress of the holidays on top of a divorce. The holidays are quickly approaching and for many, this will be the first year celebrating the holidays after a divorce. It is possible to enjoy celebrating the holidays after a divorce. Tune in as Brian shares his top tips to make the holidays less stressful through divorce like: how to honor existing traditions, creating new traditions, spending quality time together as a family, and choosing whether to co-parent or split-parent this holiday season. In this episode: [2:00] The reality of divorce during the holidays. [4:00] Why it’s important to not make your issues your kid’s issues. [5:15] The value in celebrating the holidays together as a family. [7:00] Being grateful through all of the change. [9:00] Taking care of yourself so that you can focus on your children. [10:30] To co-parent or to split-parent during the holidays? [15:30] Creating new traditions for your children as a single parent. Key Takeaways: It’s important that you not make your issues your kid’s issues, especially around the holidays. Kids do so much better when they are free to be happy and excited and the family is together. Children always have the fantasy of their parents getting back together. Celebrating the holidays together can reinforce the idea that “we are still a family and we can still like each other.” Divorce is hard. It’s so important to take care of yourself so that you can care for your children from a healthy mindset. Seek support from a therapist or family coach to best move forward through divorce. Quotes: “If you are going through the trauma of a divorce, on top of holidays, that’s hard. I’m just acknowledging that. So give yourself some grace, forgive yourself for how hard that is.” Brian Burns “Keep in the front of your mind that your kids are watching you, and they are learning how to be human. They are learning how to be in relationships, how to be in a family. We want them to learn how to navigate family, whatever family is because you can’t always choose and predict.” Brian Burns Guest Bio: I’m Brian Burns and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crisis restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved. I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves, and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best. Resources: Brian Burns Website Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
21:42
November 15, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Balance Your Stress
Saddle Up Segment: Balance Your Stress
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Marrie’s advice is to balance stress, eliminate processed foods by eating whole foods, and get 4-5 servings of vegetables with each meal! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
03:12
November 10, 2022
First Menopause Now divorce Learn How to Elevate Your Health Through it All
First Menopause Now divorce Learn How to Elevate Your Health Through it All
In today’s episode, we are joined by a certified physician assistant and founder of Elevate Health and Wellness, Marrie Simpson. Marrie helps us understand the signs that come with pre-menopause and menopause. She dives into the best tests and ways to help your body through this season in life. Tune in as Marrie shares her best tips on estrogen, balancing hormones, and how to reduce stress during a difficult time like divorce. In this episode: [2:32] Marrie discusses what made her jump into functional medicine. [4:30] What is Elevate Health and Wellness? [6:37] Understanding pre-menopause and menopause. How do women balance hormones? [9:28] Are there foods that can help balance hormones? [11:22] How does alcohol impact hormones? [14:56] What are the best hormone tests to use? [18:54] What creams are safe to use for hormones? [21:05] Is estrogen by prescription only? Key Takeaways: Lifestyle changes can help balance hormones such as nutrition, getting enough sleep, lowering cortisol, and exercising. People don’t make as much melatonin when stressed, which can impact sleep. Don’t start using hormones without seeing someone experienced; visit a functional health doctor to determine what's best for you.  Quotes: “Stress is a huge contributor to imbalance of our sex hormones, and obviously, when you're going through divorce or going through marital issues, most people are pretty stressed. And so that is going to contribute to some of the symptoms you could get. Oftentimes hormones become imbalanced, and we tend to see more estrogen dominance, meaning higher amounts of estrogen and smaller amounts of progesterone. And we really want to balance those hormones.” - Marrie Simpson “Birth control pills are the number one cause of stroke in women in their 30s and 40s.” -Marrie Simpson “I think the number one thing to do is to do foundational nutrition and lifestyle pieces. So making sure you're eating really healthy, getting whole foods in, focusing on vegetables, healthy proteins, and again movement, sleep, managing stress, all of that is very important. Because we can take 40 different supplements, but if you're not eating healthy, you're not getting movement, you're not getting good sleep; you want to get those foundations down and then get some building blocks on top of that.” - Marrie Simpson Guest Bio: I am a wife, mom, and grandma.  In my free time, I enjoy spending time outdoors, swimming, biking, and hiking, and I have a love for learning. My faith and love for Jesus are the foundation of who I am, and I desire His love and wisdom to shine through in every facet of my life. For nearly thirty years, I’ve worked exclusively in the medical field as a Physician’s Assistant. During my time as a PA, it became clear that Western Medicine was not adequately treating the deeper, underlying issues that my patients were experiencing. This left them with unsolved chronic health issues, often pain, inflammation, fatigue, difficulties losing weight, and digestive and metabolic disorders.  I knew there had to be another solution. Roughly 18 years ago, I became certified in functional medicine through the Metabolic Medical Institute/A4M and took several courses from IFM and other functional and environmental platforms. Through this, I gained insight into identifying and treating the root cause of illness. Resources: Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach EWG.org - Clean Products Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses
29:35
November 08, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their lives. Today’s episode is a compilation of this month's guests, Duana Welch and Dan Simon. Duana’s advice is to reach an agreement between you and your ex as best you can. Be kind and respectful, remembering there was a time you chose this person. If that is not possible, hire someone who can help guide a collaborative divorce. Dan’s advice is to get clear on what matters to you, don’t be influenced by friends, your lawyer, or your ex. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources Duana Welch Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Dan Simon Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation
02:57
November 03, 2022
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Sharing Painful Stories to Support Clients Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Sharing Painful Stories to Support Clients Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond
During our monthly session with Tracy, Lesa gets coached on a difficult topic. We discuss focusing on ourselves and our image, taking away the opportunity to impact others' lives. Tracy coaches how people can become aware of their thoughts and work to change them. Tune in today to learn how to avoid spending your life chasing circumstances. In this episode: [4:20] Tracy coaches Lesa on focusing on how to leave people feeling a certain way. [8:26] What does it mean to have a self-made mind? [13:28] How do we neutralize and normalize our thoughts? [18:14] How can people push themselves through their difficult thoughts? [22:35] Do you want to spend your life chasing a circumstance? Key Takeaways: If you are so focused on yourself and your looks/image, you lose the opportunity to leave your true mark on others. Creating awareness is the first step to making changes. Without awareness, you can’t change; you must first become a master of your mind. Check-in daily and decide how you’ll optimize your day. You can’t control circumstances for the most part, but you can manage your thoughts. Quotes: “I want to be a person who focuses on how I touch people, how I make them feel warm and loved, and I don’t want to focus on my shortcomings.” - Lesa Koski “You have to take care of yourself and be your best self to be a good parent.” - Lesa Koski “When you can share the vulnerable imperfect side of yourself with your loved ones, holy cow, that changes everything. You're modeling so many things on so many levels when you can do that. And they learn so much from just witnessing that.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn
24:15
November 01, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How To Handle Conflict in Minnesota and Beyond
Saddle Up Segment: How To Handle Conflict in Minnesota and Beyond
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon shares how to handle conflict. Whenever you are experiencing conflict with someone, you are a person in conflict at that moment because you are judging the other person a certain way. Whenever you are in that situation, step away and do an empowering activity (deep breathing, a walk outside, yoga, etc.) to get to a better place. Then come back to the situation and reevaluate how you feel. You’ll likely be set up to have a better conversation and sort through the difficult subject. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
03:14
October 27, 2022
Divorce Mediation Benefits and Why it Works in Minnesota and Beyond
Divorce Mediation Benefits and Why it Works in Minnesota and Beyond
In today’s episode, Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon talks about what it means to be a transformative mediator. He discusses what that means when working with clients and how it leaves them feeling empowered in their decisions. Dan dives into how he handles escalated conversations and creates space and light for clients to work through difficult decisions. Lastly, Dan tells us about his book Self Determination in Mediation and how it can help those outside the mediation field. Tune in today for some amazing mediation tips. In this episode: [1:29] Dan shares his history as a mediator. [6:39] What is transformative mediation? [9:46] Is the best part of transformative mediation when clients come up with an agreement? [12:07] Should a mediator share ideas they’ve seen with other clients or just let the clients figure out what they should do on their own? [14:53] How Dan handles an escalated conversation. [18:09] How Dan splits his time between mediation and teaching. [18:40] Dan tells us about his book, Self Determination in Mediation.  Key Takeaways: Mirrors and lights are used in transformative mediation. People can look in the mirror at themselves and see what they are projecting, creating space and light for individuals to breathe. A mediator should not be telling a couple what to do. Mediators are there to throw ideas around and help facilitate a dynamic conversation, not to ultimately tell clients what to do. We need to realize that we have power, aren't victims of each other, and don’t have to victimize each other. It's so important to learn to listen to other people’s points of view. Quotes: “Anybody who has studied communication or psychology or human relationships of any kind gets it that if we want to get to a better place, that's going to involve talking to each other.” - Dan Simon “It’s actually the clients that are going to come up with the best agreements.” - Dan Simon “Always be watching the clients to see if there is anything triggering them that maybe wouldn't trigger me because it's about them.” - Lesa Koski “In this day in age where there's so much conflict, and there is so much belief in the fact that you're right and another person is wrong. I think we can all learn how to be mediators.” - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Dan teaches transformative mediation in MN and CA and published the book Self Determination in Mediation with Tara West. Resources: Self-Determination in Mediation Book Simon Mediation Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
29:18
October 25, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: You Are Meant To Be Loved
Saddle Up Segment: You Are Meant To Be Loved
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. To re-cap, in both parts 1 and 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch, remember that you are meant to be loved! Have the courage to put in the work and find that love. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
01:42
October 20, 2022
Find Your Match After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part Two
Find Your Match After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part Two
Today on Doing Divorce Different, we hear Part 2 of our conversation with Love Doctor, Duana Welch. Duana discusses how to put together an ad for a dating site and spread the word that you are looking for love. She also digs in on the details of your must-have list and how to not settle for someone who doesn’t meet your entire list. In this episode, she gives so many great tips on creating an enticing ad that reflects who you are and what you are genuinely looking for. Tune in as Duana gives us her best dating advice. In this episode: [00:50] The next step for finding love! [3:12] Showing your dating ad to your community of friends and family creates more eyes on finding someone for you. [5:47] What advice does Duana have for photos? [12:25] Prepare yourself before you post your ad. [15:46] How are you determining your “must-haves”? Key Takeaways: Take pictures that show you on a great day, but not on a glamor shot or with filters. Don’t mislead people. The photos you use shouldn’t be older than 6 months. Put the word FUN in your profile at least twice! If a quality in the person is a deal breaker, do not try to get over it. There’s a reason you’ve been through a divorce, don’t set yourself up for that again.  Quotes: “Everyone thinks it's a numbers game; they get told it's a numbers game, it is not. It's a knowledge game. What do you know? If you know the right stuff and you can apply it, then it becomes about interacting with very few carefully chosen people.” - Duana Welch “Know your must-haves backward and forward and how you're going to assess them. That list is indispensable. If you try this without a list, you're going to get predictably terrible results most of the time. Do this with a list! And then you can say to yourself, is he kind? That's a must-have and should be on everybody's list. Is he kind? How do I assess that? I would ask him if your ex was here, what would she say was the reason for your divorce? And then I'm going to listen really carefully not only to what he says because that can give me some good insight into who he is and whether it’ll work for me. Most people will give very different answers from what someone else says vs. what they’d say.” - Duana Welch Guest Bio: Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies. Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch. Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources: Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do
26:47
October 18, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Find and Be Someone Kind and Respectful
Saddle Up Segment: Find and Be Someone Kind and Respectful
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Love Doctor Duana Welch’s piece of advice is, “If you can find and be someone kind and respectful, your love life will probably go well. And if you can’t, it won’t.” This has been a saying for over 60 years and still holds true today. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses
02:34
October 13, 2022
Dating After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part One
Dating After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part One
In today’s episode, we are talking to Love Doctor Duana Welch. Duana is an author and love coach who helps women find love the love of their life. Using her experience of finding love after divorce, she tells us how to get out there and find love again. Duana talks about the ten steps she has created to find a beautiful and solid relationship, also available in her book. It can feel intimidating to start dating and putting yourself out there again, but tune in to this episode for some great tips! In this episode: [1:19] What led Duana Welch to her Love Doctor role? [2:34] Duana gives us advice on how to start dating post-divorce. [7:48[ Duana talks about taking action to get out there, and their mindset will change as a result. [9:30] Duana takes us through the steps of her program to begin finding your match. [21:28] What should your ad look like on a dating app? Key Takeaways: Have the courage to look for someone. Put yourself into the dating market. Most people don't even look. Love is for those who have the courage to date. Create a list of everything you want in a partner, but be realistic. Do you have the same qualities that you are looking for in a partner? Sign up for one month only on dating apps. This tells the algorithm to keep pushing you to try and get you to sign up for another month. If you sign up for multiple, they won’t keep pushing your profile after the first month. Quotes: “Who we love and how successful that relationship is, has more impact on our health, our wealth, our longevity, our career success, our life satisfaction, and even our sex life than any other choice we will make.” - Duana Welch “The first action I want people to take is to write down everything they want in a partner. Everything.” - Duana Welch Guest Bio: Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies. Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch. Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Online Courses Guest Resources: Love Science Website Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do
30:58
October 11, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to have hope through the process. Shift from being the victim to being a survivor and allow this difficult time to be a part of your healing process. Next is to keep the conflict away from the children and create a world that is conflict free for them. And lastly, create win-win outcomes. Remove the animosity and focus on financial impacts, work together and know what the other person’s goals are. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Michelle Kenney: Peace and Parenting Facebook Peace and Parenting Instagram PeaceandparentingLA.com Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com Peace and Parenting Podcast Victoria Kirilloff: Wealth Analytics Website Divorce Analytics Website Financial Consultation Victoria Kirilloff Instagram Jenni Rochelle: Beauty after Betrayal Podcast BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com Jenni Rochelle’s Website Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram
02:40
October 06, 2022
Let's Change the Divorce Story (Ten Minutes with Tracy)
Let's Change the Divorce Story (Ten Minutes with Tracy)
Today is our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, life coach and Founder of Self-Made U. During this episode, we talk about mindset shifts when looking at data in our lives. I get raw with my fears and struggles around putting together a budget, and Tracy coaches me through looking at budgeting (or any data) in a new way. She emphasizes removing the fear around the data and shares one simple step to pivot the feelings we experience when diving into an area of our lives that we have decided has to be complicated. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the practical steps of changing your mindset and allowing a shift in thoughts. In this episode: [4:48] Why do we fear looking at data? What stories have we created? [12:15] How to release the “hard” feeling. How could you look at the situation in a positive way? [13:35] Why do we need to look at data to make decisions? [16:30] It’s not all about making it hard. Change your mindset to make it simple. [18:25] What steps can be taken to move forward? Key Takeaways: The first step when going through a divorce is to do your budget. This helps in planning, in feeling comfortable and confident, and makes you aware of what the future holds. Once you have all the data and assets, you’ll know where you stand. Thought downloads. Change your thoughts away from fear. If you live in fear, you’ll never take action and sit stagnantly. Face the fear, and you’ll see it isn’t bad. Start small; change your awareness on one number, not the whole budget. Change one variable ever so slightly, and you will see results. This is the same in any area of your life. Quotes: “I don't care if it's the bank account or it’s what the scale says. People don't want to look at it because they are afraid of feeling afraid. And so they speculate, oh my gosh, I don't want to go there because I know it's going to take me down. The first step is normalizing it.” - Tracy Pleschourt “You have experiences in your past that you made meaning of, and you carried it forward, and that's created this neuropathway. Your brain operates from these very efficient thoughts, aka neuropathways; you think them all the time!” - Tracy Pleschourt “The problem is the fact that she is operating from a belief that creating or managing a budget is hard. Because that thought has her feeling afraid, which has her doing nothing, NOTHING to get a different result.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn
27:56
October 04, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Guiding Your Children Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Guiding Your Children Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Michelle what the best direction to take is, and she said to focus on parenting. If your child does something that you don’t like, such as hit, be sassy, or talk back, instead of correcting them, come to them with complete and utter affection. Turn it into a play-in-the-moment situation, and get silly with it to make the strong feelings easier to get through. Give them a hug, make a joke, and show them that you are there and you love them. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday. Resources Peace and Parenting Facebook Peace and Parenting Instagram PeaceandparentingLA.com Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com Peace and Parenting Podcast Lesa Koski Website
04:29
September 29, 2022
Take the Fear out of Parenting Through Divorce with Peace and Parenting's Michelle Kenney
Take the Fear out of Parenting Through Divorce with Peace and Parenting's Michelle Kenney
In today’s episode, we are joined by Michelle Kenney, a certified coach who focuses on helping parents connect with their kids. Michelle gives some great tips on handling difficult situations with our children. No matter what they are struggling with, Michelle encourages parents to connect with them, show their children empathy, and help them work through difficult emotions. She talks about how and when to discuss the divorce with children and what information to give them so they can be prepared. Tune in to hear these fantastic parenting tips, whether you are going through a divorce or not! In this episode: [1:40] Getting to know Michelle Kenney and her background. [7:22] What does creating or keeping a connection with your child(ren) look like during divorce? [9:55] How to bend your life to connect with your older children - meeting them for their needs. [11:18] How do you open up the line of communication with your kids that you are getting divorced? [13:32] What do kids need to hear when they are told divorce is happening? Key Takeaways: Connection is the way to go if you want to create a great relationship with your children. Spend 20 minutes a day of 1:1 time with each kid, doing something they enjoy. Drop what you are doing and focus on them to create a strong bond. When supporting a child through divorce, think of creating a connection of what you desire—empathy, openness, good communication, etc. Think of the values you want and implement them into your parenting. Everyone is going to take an emotional hit during a divorce. Research shows that they will turn out ok, so don’t worry! Be open and honest with the kids, talk about how hard it is, and let them come to you with each emotion they experience.  Quotes: “When I found a connection, she totally changed because I changed.” - Michelle Kenney “What do kids need to hear? They need to hear that it's not their fault. That everyone still loves them. And they need to know the logistics of what’s going to happen to them.” - Michelle Kenney “We cannot protect our children from all the hurts of the world, nor do we want to. Because if we try to protect our children from all the hurts of the world, then they don't know how to recover from the hurts of the world. And when they go out there, and they’ve never had a big hurt, it takes them down.” - Michelle Kenney Guest Bio: I'm a former "yeller," recovering "perfectionist," and reformed "control freak"... I help parents find more calm and peace at home in a modern, demanding, and hectic world. I help parents cultivate self-regulation by showing them how to move away from yelling and threats and into more connection. Resources: Peace and Parenting Facebook Peace and Parenting Instagram PeaceandparentingLA.com Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com Peace and Parenting Podcast Lesa Koski Website
22:50
September 27, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Budget For Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Budget For Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Victoria’s tip is to create a realistic view of your post-divorce budget. It can be uncomfortable, but it is the greatest tool. You have the power of the world at your fingertips when you have a budget. Do yourself a favor and create a vision of how your budget will operate to build it into your future. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Wealth Analytics Website Divorce Analytics Website Financial Consultation Victoria Kirilloff Instagram Lesa Koski Website
02:45
September 22, 2022
Take the Fear out of Divorce Finances with Financial Expert Victoria Kirilloff
Take the Fear out of Divorce Finances with Financial Expert Victoria Kirilloff
In today’s episode, we are joined by Victoria Kirilloff, who gives us some incredible financial tips. Victoria dives into how women can prepare for divorce by creating a budget and understanding their future finances.  She also talks about the difference between men and women regarding spending. Victoria walks us through some great mindful spending tips to help us evaluate if we need to make a purchase. Tune in today to learn more about how women can be financially and emotionally ahead of the game regarding finances in all aspects of their life, especially during divorce. In this episode: [1:21] Introduction to Victoria and how she got started with her work. [8:38] Where can people get good advice that's well-rounded and will cover them? [9:43] How are we set up to be financially stupid? [11:18] What does “the biology is different as a woman” mean? [13:55] How is money an imaginary object? [15:39] Creating awareness about spending: Victoria discusses mindful spending. [21:50] What's something women can do financially to feel ahead of the game? [23:25] How should women handle the emotional aspects of finances?  Key Takeaways: Men traditionally were the hunters. They will not spend anything, and then they will go buy a large item. Women are the gatherers; we will look at sale bins and make it a day to hit every store in town. How much money you’re spending can be scary. We are economically incentivized to go out and spend money we do not have. Mindful spending questions to ask: How are you feeling right now? Who do my feelings economically benefit? Understand how your emotions are being activated. Is this purchase a need or a want? What happens if I don’t buy it today? Can I live without it? Does this purchase reflect my core values? Quotes: “Your budget is one of the most important tools you have in your divorce arsenal. In fact, it should be the best tool you have in whatever life event you are going through.” - Victoria Kirilloff “Women traditionally are not really taught to advocate for themselves. We are taught to be good little girls, to sit there and shut up and to smile. I see that as a major problem because money is inherently; there's a little conflict in it because everybody wants it. So if you don’t understand how to stand up for yourself, it can make negotiating for small things very difficult.” - Victoria Kirilloff “Money is power. And power is control.” - Victoria Kirilloff Guest Bio: Victoria Kirilloff CDFA founded DivorceAnalytics.com. DivorceAnalytics.com focuses on bringing financial clarity and transparency to the divorce process and illustrates the real-world impact of proposed settlements. By concentrating on the financial facts, Victoria shifts the divorce process from destructive to productive. Victoria is a lifelong learner and spends most of her free time increasing her knowledge base. In addition to being a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and a mediator, Victoria holds seven other different financial services licenses and designations. Resources: Wealth Analytics Website Divorce Analytics Website Financial Consultation Victoria Kirilloff Instagram Lesa Koski Website
30:08
September 20, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: You Are Not Alone
Saddle Up Segment: You Are Not Alone
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Jenni’s number one tip for those working through betrayal is to remember you are not alone. Get yourself the support that you need, whether it’s a therapist, coach, women’s group, or going to yoga. Heavily invest in yourself to heal and work through the trauma you are feeling. Also, hire a great lawyer! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Beauty after Betrayal Podcast BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com Jenni Rochelle’s Website Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram Lesa Koski Website
02:25
September 15, 2022
Divorce, Betrayal and Dating with Jenni Rochelle
Divorce, Betrayal and Dating with Jenni Rochelle
In today’s episode, we are joined by betrayal trauma specialist Jenni Rochelle. Jenni tells us about her experience with sex addiction, betrayal from her ex-husband, and how she got into her current field. She tells us about the three different stages of healing through betrayal. Jenni then dives into what it is like to start dating post betrayal and how to talk with the potential partner about what you’ve gone through and what triggers you may experience. Tune in for a realistic picture of hope after betrayal. In this episode: [1:14] Jenni introduces herself and discusses how she got into this field. [3:30] What is betrayal trauma? [4:25] When does betrayal become a level of trauma? [6:05] How did Jenni heal from her betrayal, and can the person who committed the betrayal heal? [9:07] What are the three stages of healing? [12:16] What does it feel like to trust someone to start dating again post betrayal? [16:29] What if someone hasn't healed from a betrayal? [19:35] Finding safety in your next relationship when triggers arise. Key Takeaways: People with sex addiction can heal, but it can take a long time. It can take 2-5 years for them to develop empathy. Everyone suffers. Different traumas are handled differently by everyone. There are big T traumas and little t traumas, but they are all trauma. Many trauma behaviors are labeled as co-dependencies, but they are actually a form of PTSD. Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. The triggers will get less, but there can still be a tiny part of our minds that makes us second guess what’s going on in our life with what happened in the past. Quotes: “Betrayal trauma is when a person or institution we rely on for safety and security betrays our trust.” “Look at all of your relationships and figure out the pattern of how you showed up over time.” “We can understand how we’ve been showing up in relationships, and it's typically unhealed and unprocessed trauma from when we were little girls. Nobody gets everything they need when they are little. So we’re trying to work that out. Again it's not conscious. So when we can see that, we can understand and try to make choices differently in relationships.” Guest Bio: Jenni Rochelle is the founder of the Beauty After Betrayal™ community, which has helped hundreds of women reconnect with themselves, their bodies, and their beloveds. With a Masters in Spiritual Formation, she awakens women to their birthright of personal freedom. Jenni is also a thought leader in the field of betrayal trauma. Her podcast, Beauty After Betrayal, has helped thousands of women heal with hope and rise. Inspired by her clients and informed by her own journey, Jenni’s work is focused on mentoring high-achieving, emotionally intelligent women to get out of their heads and into their bodies in order to shift their relationships. Jenni is a certified life coach trained according to the Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Trauma Specialists (APSATS). Resources: Beauty after Betrayal Podcast BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com Jenni Rochelle’s Website Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram Lesa Koski Website
26:36
September 13, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. Think of divorce as a wonderful opportunity to shift gears in your life. Be true to yourself, and follow what you know is right. Take control of the things you can manage, such as your space, and embrace the change because there will be something amazing for you on the other side. Truly prioritize you! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Attorney Elizabeth Neyens: Neyens Law Website Neyens Law PLLC Facebook Page Neyens Law Instagram Page Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999 Dr. Adam Woods: Dr. Adam Woods Email Iowa Rent Project Nutrition Facts Esteem Dynamics  Spruce Solutions: Spruce Solutions Website Spruce Solutions Facebook  Spruce Solutions Instagram
02:17
September 08, 2022
Divorce and Menopause
Divorce and Menopause
Today Tracy and I talk about the effects of menopause on women and the correlation between menopause and divorce.  We all know divorce is growing fast in this age category.  You hear my personal struggles in the journey through menopause while Tracy talks about the importance of loving yourself through the process of menopause and taking the time to learn about yourself while going through this transition. Tune in today for some great tips for handling menopause and managing your thoughts through divorce. In this episode: [1:54] How to look at menopause and how it compares to divorce. [5:33] Tracy discusses natural hormones and testing hormone levels. [7:50] Look at how your body is reacting as you go through menopause to find the best resources to help and learn more about yourself. [9:05] Signs of being peri-menopausal. Thoughts behind the anxiety. [11:18] Fighting anxiety in the middle of the night. [16:10] The real problem is how you are thinking about menopause - that creates action or in-action.  Key Takeaways: Release the grip on trying to control something you can’t. Menopause is going to happen regardless; it is a circumstance of life. Take the opportunity to learn about yourself. Learn to love who you are, and love your mind. Notice how you feel about anxiety. The more your thoughts go to shame, the worse you will feel about it. Anxiety can be something you have, such as the color of your eyes or hair. It doesn’t have to mean anything about you. Understanding your physical, emotional, mental, and metabolic health is all important. Generally, we understand our physical, emotional, and mental health, but during this time, we need to focus on understanding our metabolic health. Quotes: “The journey that I have taken, and what I have learned, and how I have begun to love myself, more than I did when my body was perfect in my twenties. You know, I like, it’s been such an amazing experience, and I’m so thankful that there was no action I could take to get those pounds off; I had to just sit there…I had to sit and learn to love myself.” - Lesa Koski “Use this opportunity to learn about yourself. Start with what is making me feel this way. A hundred percent of the time, it is the thought you are operating from; you’ve got to get a hold of that. That awareness is going to really support you and change the way you feel.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn The Menopause Reset Book Dutch Test Mind Math Formula - Tool For Anxiety
21:43
September 06, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Envision Your Life
Saddle Up Segment: Envision Your Life
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked both Heather and Terri what you could start doing now to move forward. They mentioned creating a vision board or creating short-term and long-term goals to get you started on what you envision your life looking like. Then work towards those goals. Heather and Terri also remind us to start small, pick one space, and grow your organization. Don’t get overwhelmed trying to do the whole house at once. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Spruce Solutions Website Spruce Solutions Facebook  Spruce Solutions Instagram Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski’s Online Courses
04:15
September 01, 2022
Divorce De-Clutter (Divorce and Organizational Opportunity) with Spruce Solutions Heather Bender and Terri Link
Divorce De-Clutter (Divorce and Organizational Opportunity) with Spruce Solutions Heather Bender and Terri Link
In today’s episode, we are joined by co-owners of Spruce Solutions, Heather Bender and Terri Link. Heather and Terri founded the organizing company together to help people tackle their tasks with less stress. They’ve joined us to discuss their different services and give some great examples of rooms they have helped clients re-organize. We also talk about how organizing your home can make a difference in how the house feels to bring clarity, calmness, and peace to the home. Tune in today to learn more about their services and tips that you can do on your own to spruce up your home. In this episode: [1:38] Introduction to how Heather and Terri joined together. [2:55] What is cognitive coaching? [3:50] How was Spruce Solutions born? [6:12] What does it look like when a potential customer contacts Spruce Solutions? [8:08] What do the services look like? [15:42] How long does it usually take to organize a space? [18:00] How do people get organized?  Key Takeaways: Organizing your home can create a feeling of mental clarity. The less clutter you have around your house, the easier it is to focus on the items that need to be in the front of your mind. You don’t have to tackle the whole house at once. Start small, organize your junk drawer or bathroom counter, and then get inspired to continue managing different areas of your home. Hiring someone to come in and organize can have a similar feel to a house cleaner. They can come monthly and help re-organize or sort through your things. They are also an excellent non-biased party who can help you determine what needs to be in the house, what needs to be seen, and what can be kept but put away, and what can be donated.  Quotes: “I'm in charge now; I get to reinvent my life, I get to put things where I want them, and I get to feel the way I want to and have my own space. Even though divorce is hard and we don’t wish it on people, it's often an opportunity.” - Lesa Koski “What is it about this space that you either don’t feel happy with right now, what are you envisioning it to be like, what are things you like about it, what are things you don’t like about it?” - Terri Link Guest Bio: Spruce Solutions is a professional organizing company serving the Twin Cities and surrounding areas. Congratulations! You have taken the first step to getting started on living your best life by stopping here. Eliminating clutter and getting organized will help you live your most efficient and productive life, giving you the time to focus on the people and things you love the most. At Spruce Solutions, we take pride in working one on one with our clients in a confidential and judgment-free approach to best understand your needs. After all, this is your home and our mission is to make you feel happier and reduce stress by creating a space that works for you and your family.  From the initial consultation to the final touches, we will treat your project as if it is our own home. We believe that every little detail matters. We have a passion for organization and an eye for design. Let our talents go to work sprucing up your space! Resources: Spruce Solutions Website Spruce Solutions Facebook  Spruce Solutions Instagram Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski’s Online Courses
24:56
August 30, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Planning for Your Future
Saddle Up Segment: Planning for Your Future
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Elizabeth Neyens discusses how often we can feel like so much of life is out of our control. There is always something that we can control, so take the step forward by planning for the future and the possibilities that may rise. This gives the feeling of being prepared for whatever comes your way. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Neyens Law Website Neyens Law PLLC Facebook Page Neyens Law Instagram Page Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999
02:13
August 25, 2022
The Journey Beyond Divorce an Opportunity to Plan Your Future with Attorney Elizabeth Neyens
The Journey Beyond Divorce an Opportunity to Plan Your Future with Attorney Elizabeth Neyens
In today’s episode, we are joined by Estate Planning Attorney, Elizabeth Neyens. Elizabeth talks about the importance of Estate planning in general and after divorce. Estate plans cover everything from a home to financial planning for your children and animals! Elizabeth also talks about career planning and the significance of LLCs. Tune in today to learn more about estate planning and how to handle it after divorce. In this episode: [2:07] What made Elizabeth decide to become an attorney and go into the estate planning space? [5:20] Elizabeth shares tips about what people need to do after a divorce? [7:18] How does creating a new estate plan post-divorce look? [9:30] What does it look like if a parent passes away and a guardian wants visitation rights? [10:53] Other things people need to think about when doing estate planning. [14:55] Elizabeth touches on career desires and how to move forward with your career. [16:00] Why is it important for someone to set up an LLC? [17:23] What does pet planning look like with estate planning? Key Takeaways: When planning your beneficiaries and decision-makers, they can all be different. You may want a different person handling your financial items and another handling your medical decisions. Make sure to update your guardian's post-divorce, as many states will kick off your spouse. Create a trust for your children, determining the monetary amount they can get and when. You can create multiple milestones for payment, for example, some at 18 for college, then some at 25 years old, etc. Also, indicate the decision-making that a financial decision maker has access to make, so money doesn't fall into the wrong hands. When starting your own company, create it under an LLC. This protects your personal assets if something should happen. If you do not create an LLC, your business and personal assets can be taken.  Quotes: “One of the easiest and quickest things you can do is update your beneficiary designations on your life insurance, your retirement accounts, brokerage, any type of account you have; a lot of them can be beneficiary designated. That’s a quick thing you can do fairly fast.” - Elizabeth Neyens “Not that we often see divorce as an exciting time, but we can change the story of divorce and change it to something that is expanding your horizons.” - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Following a successful sales career, Elizabeth Neyens attended law school to pursue a profession that would provide an opportunity for her to help solve families’ problems during difficult times. Elizabeth graduated from William Mitchell College of Law. She currently practices in Oakdale, Minnesota, primarily in the areas of estate planning and probate, which are two areas that involve family transitions, challenging circumstances, thoughtful decisions, and careful planning.  Elizabeth aims to be not only a legal advocate but also a calming influence. Resources: Neyens Law Website Neyens Law PLLC Facebook Page Neyens Law Instagram Page Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999 Lesa Koski Website
22:16
August 23, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: The Life-Changing Effects of Meditation
Saddle Up Segment: The Life-Changing Effects of Meditation
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Dr. Adam Woods says his wish is that people be good to themselves and be true to themselves. His number one tip is to work on meditation. Remember that it is a process and takes practice. The more meditation is a part of your life, the better focused and relaxed you’ll be, and the more positive feelings you’ll have towards others. Check out some of the apps Dr. Adam mentioned to get started today! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Dr. Adam Woods Email Iowa Rent Project Nutrition Facts Esteem Dynamics  Lesa Koski Website Books: Quiet Your Mind and Get to Sleep Why We Sleep How Not to Die How Not to Diet The Starch Solution Meditation Apps: Insight Timer - 100,000 free meditations Waking Up - Sam Harris Calm 10% Happier Headspace
04:36
August 18, 2022
Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part Two
Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part Two
In today’s episode, Psychiatrist Dr. Adam Woods is back for Part 2 of his five steps to well-being. During this episode, we cover steps #2 through #5 and dive into each step in detail. Dr. Adam provides many excellent resources for listeners to dive further into each step. He breaks these steps down and truly makes them feel achievable for anyone! Dr. Adam also discusses the pros and cons of medication for mental health needs and how his 5-steps can work alongside prescribed medication. Tune in today to learn more about how to shift your life through Therapy, Sleep, Exercise, Diet, and Meditation. In this episode: [0:52] Step 2: How sleep impacts your well-being. [3:28] Step 3: Keep your body active - what forms of “exercise” count. [5:30] Step 4: Good diet - eating less processed foods and the truths behind diets. [9:47] Step 5: Meditation and the different types available. [19:45] Wrapping up the five things to well-being and how they work together. [22:18] Breathing tips, how to breathe for anxiety. [24:25] How they all work together: Medication, Changing Lifestyle, and Anxiety. [32:15] The Rent Project.  Key Takeaways: Our bodies do not know the difference between hardcore exercise and daily activities. Our ancestors did not do intentional workouts. They were just more active, which is what we need. Play with your kids, go for a walk, choose something you enjoy and move your body. Meditation can look different for everyone. For some people, it is sitting down and meditating; for others, it is doing a focused sport such as running, rock climbing, or another intense sport where an activity occupies the mind. No headphones in; just allow your mind to focus. So many of our health issues are tied to the amount of processed food we consume. Instead of following a specific diet, focus on eating closer to plants, whole foods, and things that give you energy. Health issues like obesity, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease didn’t start until after WWII, when more heavily processed foods were introduced. Quotes: “If I could change nothing else about your picture except making you sleep better, you will get better. Now how much better I can't say, but I can promise you you will get better.” - Dr. Adam Woods  “Why is meditation so powerful? #1 is when you think about it, meditation is therapy with yourself. The second big reason about meditation is that people’s sleep tends to improve dramatically.” - Dr. Adam Woods “The point is not to clear your mind; the point is to accept your mind for how it is.” - Dr. Adam Woods Guest Bio: Dr. Adam Woods is a "Family Psychiatrist" (a term of his own invention, meaning he sees both children and adults) who practices in North Liberty, Iowa. Adam got a Masters of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and served as a Presbyterian Chaplain in the United States Air Force. During his time in the military, Adam fell in love with medicine, ultimately deciding to leave the Air Force and attend the prestigious Duke University School of Medicine, where he got his MD in 2012. Adam decided to return to Iowa and do his Psychiatry Residency at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. Adam currently lives in Coralville, Iowa with his wife, Laurie, and their 6 year old daughter, Mackenzie. Resources: Dr. Adam Woods Email Iowa Rent Project Nutrition Facts Esteem Dynamics  Lesa Koski Website
34:37
August 16, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Becoming The Next Version Of Yourself
Saddle Up Segment: Becoming The Next Version Of Yourself
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we reflect on the story that we have created for ourselves. This story will be carried on by our spouses, friends, and family. If that is no longer the story that you want to be identified by, then create a new story for yourself. Settle into who you are becoming as a person that writes their own story. You are becoming a new way of being married or of being divorced, the next version of you. The challenge Tracy would like to offer our listeners is to “define what it is that you are becoming.” It can be positive, inspiring, and so exciting to make this shift! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn
03:16
August 11, 2022
The Number One Step to Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part One
The Number One Step to Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part One
In today’s episode, we are joined by Psychiatrist Dr. Adam Woods to discuss the five steps to well-being. In this two-part episode, we learn about Dr. Adam’s background and how he came to be a Psychiatrist. We discuss the importance of adding self-care to a routine, especially amid a divorce, loss, or a significant life change. During this episode, we focus on step 1 of his 5 step process, which is Therapy. Tune in today to learn more about how medicine is only a small portion of working through trauma and tips for finding the right therapist for you. In this episode: [3:40] Dr. Adam Woods's journey and story of how he became a psychiatrist. [17:25] What are the five steps of well-being? [21:22] Why Dr. Adam approaches treatment with wellbeing, not just medication. [24:37] The number one thing to help with well-being: Therapy. Key Takeaways: Medication is a tool that can be used to help through a difficult time, but it is not the only tool to use. Self-care and the five steps Dr. Adam goes through are necessary for healing. When we are not feeling well, mentally or physically, it is our body trying to talk to us. Don’t just numb yourself; listen to what your body is telling you and work through the feelings. Therapy is different for every person, sometimes, it only takes a couple of sessions, and sometimes it takes years to work through what your mind needs. If therapy doesn’t seem to be working, seek out another therapist. Quotes: “I tell people when they are in the process of divorce, or they’ve lost a job or a loved one has died, it's very much the same kind of loss. If you look at the physiological literature it's identical.” -Dr. Adam Woods “We forget in the midst of a crisis to do normal things to take care of ourselves, and here is the problem: our body can’t talk to us, so all it can do is make us feel bad. When our body makes us feel bad, it hopes we’ll pay attention.” -Dr. Adam Woods Guest Bio: Dr. Adam Woods is a "Family Psychiatrist" (a term of his own invention, meaning he sees both children and adults) who practices in North Liberty, Iowa.  Touting a somewhat unusual resume, Adam attended Drake University for undergraduate school and obtained his BFA in Acting & Playwriting before embarking on a career as a professional actor and singer in various venues all over the world.  After deciding the world of theater was an avocation and not a vocation, Adam got a Masters of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and served as a Presbyterian Chaplain in the United States Air Force.  During his time in the military, Adam found himself doing hospital chaplain work and absolutely fell in love with medicine, ultimately deciding to leave the Air Force and attend the prestigious Duke University School of Medicine, where he got his MD in 2012.  A proud Iowa native with deep family roots, Adam decided to return to his home State and do his Psychiatry Residency at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.  Adam currently lives in Coralville, Iowa with his wife, Laurie, and their 6 year old daughter, Mackenzie. Dr. Adam Woods is the executive producer of an AWESOME theater project which will be happening in December to raise money for some amazing non-profits.  It's called the Iowa RENT Project. Resources: Dr. Adam Woods Email Lesa Koski Website Iowa RENT Project
28:27
August 09, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The overall thoughts are really zoning in on yourself and what you can control. Feel your emotions and don’t make major decisions based on anger. Use the transformation of divorce as a catalyst to your next best life. Lastly, confront yourself to take charge of the rest of your life, don’t depend on others, you are ultimately in charge of the direction of your life. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Max Rivers: Max Rivers Website Schedule a Guaranteed Appointment Claire Samuels: Claire Samuels Law Website Claire Samuels Law Facebook Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn Claire Samuels Law Instagram Brian Burns: Brian Burns Website
02:41
August 04, 2022
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Change Your Divorce Story
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Change Your Divorce Story
On today's episode of Ten Minutes with Tracy, We discuss changing your divorce story. Tracy and Lesa talk about becoming better listeners and diving into the art of understanding. When going through mediation, marriage counseling, or divorce, there are many benefits to listening to the other person's perspective and not feeling like you have to respond. We also discuss the stories that we tell ourselves that others learn to know about us that create our identities. Tune in today to learn how to look at these identities differently and allow yourself to see what you are becoming. In this episode: [1:06] The importance of listening and understanding. [4:43] Becoming divorce and becoming the next version of yourself. [5:43] When working on yourself, be intentional about listening and understanding; most of the time, the other person follows suit. [7:32] The stories and meaning that we create for our lives. Key Takeaways: Your current identity does not have to be permanent. You are allowed to become someone new and create a new identity of yourself if the old one no longer serves you. Your spouse, loved ones, and friends may carry the identity you have created with you and tell your story even if it doesn’t serve you any longer. Breathe in your new identity and move towards the next version of yourself, then share that with those close to you so they can also communicate the next version of you. Listening and understanding do not require responding. Learning to be intentional in listening and hearing what someone else is telling you is sometimes all that is needed. Knowing where they are coming from and not feeling the need to agree or disagree is a skill that can take you far in life. Quotes: “If we can remind ourselves that all we need to really do is understand the other person. So we could actually enter into a conversation with the commitment to listen so intently that we understand their point of view.” - Tracy Pleschourt “It requires you to give up that story, that belief that you have about that person, and really just take under consideration, what if that story is wrong, what if that isn't even inaccurate. Just allow yourself to take that in for a moment; it opens up the door for so many possibilities.” - Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Lesa Koski Website
14:09
August 02, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Put Your Children First by Respecting your Co-Parent During Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Put Your Children First by Respecting your Co-Parent During Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Brian’s advice is to say something kind and supportive about your co-parent to your kids. Show your kids that you respect the other parent. Do not transfer your feelings onto your kids no matter how negative they may be. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Brian Burns Website Lesa Koski Website
01:48
July 28, 2022
Divorce From a Man's Perspective with Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns
Divorce From a Man's Perspective with Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns
In today’s episode, we are joined by Brian Burns, a certified mediator and parenting coach, to discuss divorce from a father's perspective. During this conversation, we discuss how men play a more active role in parenting post-divorce and the feelings and shifts experienced. Brian also discusses the steps fathers can take to build momentum to be a more hands-on parent. Tune in to today’s episode to gain insight from a new perspective so you can do divorce differently. In this episode: [2:19] How dads get more involved with parenting post-divorce. [3:40] Advice for men who are feeling overwhelmed with single parenting. [6:10] Is there a difference between men and women when feeling your feelings? [9:45] Men are facing judgment and validation throughout a divorce. [15:04] Actions fathers can take to start moving forward with momentum to be a more hands-on parent. Key Takeaways: Modern parents too often look to their children for validation. This is more exaggerated in a divorce where parents try to do better than the other parent. Men’s feelings are more wired towards stress and providing for a family. After divorce, they feel a lot of pressure to figure out their place. They may also experience fear around failing as a father after failing as a husband. Everyday living is essential when kids are with their dad. Many times dads try to be the “Disney Dad” or make all their time extra fun. Kids will thrive more on having a father figure who wants to get to know them and find out who they are. Quotes: “Men need to give themselves permission to feel the feelings, to grieve the losses, regardless of who chose the divorce. Frankly, statistically, if you are a man, you're more likely to be divorced than if you are a woman. Women are statistically asking for divorce more often than men.” Brian Burns “Women are encouraged to talk about their feelings as little girls, and men are not; men are encouraged to achieve, to be tough, to be strong. To be strong is to be virtuous. To not have weakness is to have integrity.” Brian Burns “Lean into the opportunity to be a more hands-on parent; you are worthy.” Brian Burns Guest Bio: I’m Brian Burns, and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crises restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved. I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves, and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best. Resources: Brian Burns Website Lesa Koski Website
21:53
July 26, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Listening Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Listening Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Lesa discusses the importance of being self-aware when you listen. Becoming aware of how you listen when someone is sharing can help move a difficult conversation in the right direction. Finally, when someone tells you how they are feeling, believe them, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Blog Lesa Koski’s Online Courses
01:43
July 21, 2022
6 Steps to Divorce Better and Co-Parent Well with Divorce Attorney Lesa Koski
6 Steps to Divorce Better and Co-Parent Well with Divorce Attorney Lesa Koski
On today’s episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski is sharing how she helps her clients navigate difficult conversations throughout the divorce process. Throughout her experience as a divorce attorney and mediator, Lesa has learned six impactful steps to help her clients feel heard, feel understood, and to find common ground. Whether you’re experiencing divorce or want to learn how to co-parent, tune in for insight into how Lesa helps her clients move successfully through the divorce process. In this episode: [01:45] Listen with the intention of understanding rather than reacting. [03:18] Build rapport and find common ground. [05:15] Invite explanation. [06:35] Invite collaboration. [08:20] Try to understand the other party’s reasoning. [09:09] Four tools that can be helpful when having difficult conversations. [11:25] How to access more tools and resources to do divorce differently. [13:30] Saddle Up Segment. Key Takeaways: Collaborative communication is when both parties have the space to share their thoughts and feelings and listen to each other. You can still have rapport with someone, even if they have different opinions than you. It feels good to be heard. If you are trying to persuade someone that is not driven by evidence, ask questions. You can even ask, “What will it take to change your mind?” and then work from there. Quotes: “Playing nice works much better than spewing your beliefs at someone.” Lesa Koski “How do you criticize someone and still play nice? Sometimes you’re going to be critical and not like their idea.” Lesa Koski “Some people are persuaded by evidence, and some by peer pressure.” Lesa Koski Resources: Lesa Koski Website Lesa Koski Blog Lesa Koski’s Online Courses
14:54
July 19, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: 5-5-5 Breath with Claire Samuels
Saddle Up Segment: 5-5-5 Breath with Claire Samuels
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Claire discusses the power of pausing and practicing mindful breathing instead of always thinking about the next thing and to-do list. Taking a quick moment to do a 5-5-5 breath (5 seconds of inhaling, 5 seconds holding your breath, and 5 seconds of exhaling) benefits your brain by getting more oxygen to it and can make a big difference in your day. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Claire Samuels Law Website Claire Samuels Law Facebook Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn Claire Samuels Law Instagram Lesa Koski Website
02:44
July 14, 2022
Becoming Divorce with Claire Samuels
Becoming Divorce with Claire Samuels
In today’s episode, we are joined by Claire Samuels, an attorney with a background in family law and divorce mediation. Claire talks to us about how she approaches divorce and mediation through the attitude of “Becoming Divorce” with her clients. She shares with us the fantastic curated community of expert services she provides to her clients, which helps give them all the contacts they may need or want while going through the divorce process. Tune in as we hear about how she provides clients with the support they need to use divorce as a transformation and a catalyst to living their best life. In this episode: [1:08] How did Claire come to do her work, and what led her there? [2:43] When Claire started her career, did it look like what it looks like today? [3:55] What does “Becoming Divorce” mean? [5:15] What are the differences between a litigator, mediations, and collaborative law? [11:52] How does Claire work through mediations? [15:05] How Claire turned her love of connecting people into a curated community of expert services for her clients. Key Takeaways: Divorce can create an opportunity that is a springboard to transform you into your next best life. Shifting the focus during a divorce to a future-focused lens can significantly affect how you see and approach divorce. Understanding all the services available to you before and after divorce can allow you to feel empowered for what’s ahead. Thinking about what you want around your finances, health, home, and every other area of your life is a great place to focus your mind vs. on all the things that can go wrong during a divorce. Quotes: “At a very young age, I knew there had to be a way to do this in a way that preserved what was going to be, not left of a family, what this new redefined family would look like. To try and minimize the trauma, not just for the people going through the divorce, what all the collateral damage seen in an extended family, whether there are children or not.” - Claire Samuels “Collaborative divorce really means ‘We're going to take the approach that we are in the best position to make decisions for our family’. And it is a commitment with a signed agreement that you will do all things outside of a courtroom.” - Claire Samuels “Becoming Divorce is a view of how can divorce be an opportunity, how it can be a springboard to transform you to your next best life.” - Lesa Koski “I love the idea of ‘becoming’ and what it means, and I love the idea of it being an opportunity and a springboard.”  - Lesa Koski Guest Bio: Claire has made it her mission to refine the divorce experience. She believes divorce offers clients a transformative opportunity to design a positive future for themselves, complete with financial and emotional security.  To this end, she provides her clients with the tools necessary to help them construct a solid foundation on which to build their new life. Resources: Claire Samuels Law Website Claire Samuels Law Facebook Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn Claire Samuels Law Instagram Lesa Koski Website
25:07
July 12, 2022
How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
How Do You Do Divorce Differently?
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from four different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The overall thoughts are to not get stuck in this chapter of your life and find gratitude in the new life and opportunities that are opening up for you. You are in control of your emotions, you get to choose how you approach to divorce. The option is there to feel neutral or in control of divorce. How will this next chapter enrich your life? Lastly, find a mediator who will help you feel confident, comfortable, and knowledgeable as you go through the divorce. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn Stephanie Raffelock’s Website Stephanie Raffelock’s Instagram Stephanie Raffelock’s Facebook A Delightful Little Book on Aging - Book by Stephanie Raffelock Creatrix Rising - Book by Stephanie Raffelock Shannon’s Website Shannon’s Instagram Shannon’s LinkedIn Shannon’s Facebook Willmore Law Firm Joseph Willmore LinkedIn Joseph Willmore Instagram
05:17
July 07, 2022
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Parenting Through Divorce with Self Made U Founder Tracy Pleschourt
Ten Minutes with Tracy: Parenting Through Divorce with Self Made U Founder Tracy Pleschourt
We are introducing Tuesdays with Tracy! This segment will happen on the first Tuesday of every month. We will discuss a topic from the last month and hone in on it.  Today we discuss inadequacy through a divorce and parents' struggles during this difficult time. Tracy talks about the importance of becoming aware of your feelings and knowing that you are in charge of your feelings. Ask yourself the question, “why am I feeling this way” and you’ll receive the answer with the thoughts running in your mind's background. Tune in next month as we dive into how our thoughts serve us. We hope you enjoy this new element of the show! In this episode: [4:24] What are you thinking that is giving you the feeling of inadequacy? [6:30] Issues that come from not prioritizing yourself during divorce. [8:14] Steps for what to do when feeling inadequate. Key Takeaways: You are in charge of your thoughts, and if you do the work to dig into what is coming up, you’ll be able to change those thoughts to be more positive. Dive into how you are showing up in your life, and show yourself that you are not inadequate during the divorce. Prioritize your self-care so that you can be the best version of yourself through everything that arises in life. Quotes: “The actions, the list, the script that we’ve always been offered has gotten us where we are at right now. If you are looking at something different from your life, or a particular circumstance, it has everything to do with the way you are thinking, not the actions.” Tracy Pleschourt “How do you show up in your personal life, how do you show up in your family life, how do you show up to care for yourself? I want you to be comprehensive because I want you to clearly see how those feelings are driving so much more than you could ever guess.” Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Resources: Tracy Pleschourt Instagram Tracy Pleschourt Website Tracy Pleschourt Facebook Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn
12:08
July 05, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: How to Deal with Judgments During Conflict
Saddle Up Segment: How to Deal with Judgments During Conflict
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Max discussed tips to use with judgments, as they are the source of all violence and are so prevalent when living with someone. He says instead of judging someone, say “I know this is a judgment and so not true about you, but I keep telling myself you are a ____”. This gives the opportunity to talk about the difference without the slap. Max also talked about how the need behind the judgment is almost always the opposite of the content of the judgment. The judgment comes from the need not being met. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Max Rivers Website Schedule a Guaranteed Appointment Loving Conflict Book Lesa Koski Website
03:10
June 30, 2022
Marriage Mediation with Max Rivers
Marriage Mediation with Max Rivers
In today’s episode, we are joined by Max Rivers, marriage mediator and author of Loving Conflict. Max’s practice focuses on nonviolent communication and helping couples hear what the other truly desires. Max talks about his teamwork method and getting to the root of couples' fights. We talk quite a bit about judgments and differences that couples run into and how to tackle those in a way that respects both sides. Max says that judgment is a tragic expression of your own unmet needs. Tune in today to hear tips on how to identify your needs, how to communicate what your heart needs, how to listen to your partner, and how to accept that difference. In this episode:  [1:02] Introduction to Max Rivers - Why did he start doing marital mediation? [5:40] How is marriage mediation different from therapy and divorce mediation? [8:25] The “Teamwork Method”. [13:55] How Max works with people who communicate through name-calling and blaming? [16:45] How does Max handle when people start throwing out money, support, or revenge? [21:25] What are the roles of mother and father, and how can you co-create your life around children? Key Takeaways:  Max’s process is: how to identify your needs, how to communicate what your heart needs, how do you listen to your partner's needs without judging, and in fact, accepting and loving that difference, mediation. Relationships are a “Both-And, not an Either-Or.” A relationship is about the difference. The difference is not going away; the difference is what you need and what you are looking for when getting into a relationship. Judgments are really just a person's way of expressing a need of theirs that is not getting met. Instead of nitpicking around little fights, look at the root cause of where the judgment is coming from and work from there. Quotes:  “My process is about teaching couples to identify what it is they need but are not getting, how to communicate that in a way that sounds like they are inviting their partner to the beauty of their desires, and listening to their partner's needs with excited curiosity so that both sets of needs are on the table, and then comes the mediation.” “My job is to point out their differences and mediate how they can accept, not just tolerate, but benefit from this difference.” Guest Bio:  Max Rivers pioneered the idea of using mediation to SAVE marriages instead of ending them in a process he called "marriage mediation." He then developed a six-session process to help couples learn how to use an embodied form of NVC, Nonviolent Communication, to navigate their own difficult conversations. He is available at his office in Philadelphia or worldwide over video conferencing. He is the author of a book about his work with couples entitled, “Loving Conflict” available at Amazon.com. Resources:  Max Rivers Website Schedule a Guaranteed Appointment Loving Conflict Book Lesa Koski Website
27:34
June 28, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Parenting Well Through Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore
Saddle Up Segment: Parenting Well Through Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Joseph discusses the importance of co-parenting. He talks about how parents should shift to view each other as business partners who are working together to raise thriving children (child) and great members of society. Respect that each parent is doing what they think is best for the kids. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Call: 619-550-6738 Willmore Law Firm Joseph Willmore LinkedIn Joseph Willmore Instagram
04:27
June 23, 2022
How Will I Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore
How Will I Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore
In today’s episode, we are joined by Joseph Willmore, a Family Law Attorney in Southern California. Joseph discusses how family law is run in California and how he works with his clients to make sure they feel prepared and represented during the difficult time of divorce. We discuss quite a bit about co-parenting and how to shift the focus from emotions to what’s best for the children. Tune in to learn more about Joseph’s services and the advice we give to work towards a smooth divorce. In this episode: [00:34] Introduction to Joseph Willmore. [4:26] Joseph explains what his cases typically look like. [8:50] Should each party be represented individually? [12:30] We talk about clients and parenting, parenting plans, and child support. [20:30] Talking about where Joseph offers his services and how to find him. Key Takeaways: Each state has different guidelines around divorces and property. It is beneficial to both parties in California to agree on dividing assets if someone is attached to something vs. going to court where the judge will divide all asset amounts down the middle and request sale of assets for equal division. Children will thrive much better in two happy households than in a house full of arguing and unhappiness. Parents need to set their emotional interests aside and focus on the children to ensure they thrive in life. Quotes: “When parents enter this situation that they’ve never been in before, they don’t think about all these situations that come up, and these can be simple issues such as holidays, exchange locations for children, what vaccines you want, what doctor you want them to see, etc.” “We need a parenting schedule that will give them a stable routine, make sure they are able to get to school, and make sure they are able to function.” Guest Bio: Attorney Joseph Willmore was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona.  Joseph completed his undergraduate degree in Communication at Arizona State University. Joseph attended law school at Thomas Jefferson School of Law.  Because of his outstanding academic performance, Joseph was invited onto the Thomas Jefferson Law Review, where he served as an Editor for the remainder of law school.  Joseph studied law abroad in both France and China, where he gained valuable insight into international law, alternative dispute resolution, and mediation. Joseph is a talented and confident public speaker, and further honed substantial trial advocacy skills.  Importantly, Joseph is personable and caring, and his diverse background of life experiences and public service make him a very enjoyable attorney to work with. Resources: Call: 619-550-6738 Willmore Law Firm Joseph Willmore LinkedIn Joseph Willmore Instagram
22:14
June 21, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Tell Your Story and Reveal Your Heart
Saddle Up Segment: Tell Your Story and Reveal Your Heart
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Stepanie what her opinion is to get someone on a road to a better place during and after divorce. She suggests getting yourself a blank journal and reading a book that inspires you. Tell your story and reveal your heart to yourself. She suggests two books to get you started, “The Artist's Way” by Julia Cameron and “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Stephanie Raffelock’s Website Stephanie Raffelock’s Instagram Stephanie Raffelock’s Facebook A Delightful Little Book on Aging - by Stephanie Raffelock Creatrix Rising - by Stephanie Raffelock The Artist’s Way - By Julia Cameron Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within - by Natalie Goldberg
02:08
June 16, 2022
Awakening Through Divorce with Stephanie Raffelock
Awakening Through Divorce with Stephanie Raffelock
In today’s episode, we are joined by Stephanie Raffelock, an author on aging well and the creative surge that begins in midlife. Stephanie discusses the awakenings and transformation that come with getting older. We discuss what aging looks like in today’s society, where we live in a culture that values youth and beauty. We discuss how re-imagining and awakening go hand in hand with divorce. Stephanie talks about how thinking of doing divorce with an attitude of ‘what's in the next chapter?’ will enrich life in ways that couldn’t be done before. We close the episode by discussing how all women should tell their stories and how self-knowledge reveals all things. Tune in to learn how to embrace aging, divorce, and how going through something hard in life can change life for the better with some curiosity and gratitude. In this episode: [1:55] What led Stephanie to write books about aging. [4:40] Stephanie discusses how health & vitality are sexy and what opens up for us as we age. [5:55] She discusses the third act of one's life and how rewarding it is. [6:30] Stephanie talks about how her book and thinking can be applied to someone going through a divorce or a life-changing shift. [10:15] Why are people so afraid to age? [12:00] Stephanie's thoughts on empowerment and courage. [14:12] As we get older, how do we fit into this youth-oriented culture? [16:54] Journaling and how/why each woman’s story is important. Key Takeaways: Aging is absolutely beautiful, it's the third chapter in life, and this final chapter is where all the incredible transformations happen. Divorce (and other complicated things in life) are an opportunity to restructure your life and awaken to the things you can do now that you were afraid to do while you were married. It’s a second chance at life and creating who you are. Use curiosity and gratitude to get through divorce. Have gratitude that you made it this far; you made it through the difficult situation, which means you can make it through anything! What can you learn and see with new eyes? Quotes: “Empowerment is really something that grows up from the center, from the gut, of the woman, I believe, and it's something that needs to be claimed, examined, and understood as not a polite and pretty process but a powerful process.” “When you are healthy, there is a sexiness to it because there is a vitality to it, there's juice to it.” Guest Bio: Stephanie Raffelock is the author of Creatrix Rising, Unlocking the Power of Midlife Women. (She Writes Press in August, 2021).  She also penned the award-winning, bestseller, A Delightful Little Book on Aging. A graduate of Naropa University’s program in Writing and Poetics, Stephanie was a contributor to The Rogue Valley Messenger, in Oregon.  She’s blogged for Nexus Magazine, Omaha Lifestyles, Care2.com as well as SixtyandMe.com. A former i-Heart Radio host, she is now a popular guest on podcasts, where she inspires women to embrace the strength and passion of their personal story. Resources:  Stephanie Rafflock's Website Stephanie Raffelock's Instagram Stephanie Raffelock's Facebook Stephanie Raffelock's Books
21:16
June 14, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Prioritizing Yourself Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segment: Prioritizing Yourself Through Divorce
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Shannon what her best tip is for taking a positive step forward that can be done today. She discusses intentionality, and how to move yourself forward. Divorce can be so demanding and chaotic, so deciding what you want to do today and being in touch with yourself as well as prioritizing yourself can allow some calmness to enter your life. Even if it’s something small, take an intentional step forward. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Shannon’s Website Shannon’s Instagram Shannon’s LinkedIn Shannon’s Facebook
02:18
June 09, 2022
Empowerment Through Divorce
Empowerment Through Divorce
In today’s episode, divorce and empowering life coach Shannon McGorry joins us to discuss how to change your mindset and take control in the chaos of divorce. Shannon discusses her three-step program to help women re-focus on themselves and take back control of their life amidst the challenges that come with divorce. She provides some excellent tips on how to work through triggers while in the thick of divorce and mediation. Tune in to get some amazing mindset tips to help you get through the tough choices, decisions, thoughts, and conversations that will arise during this phase of life. In this episode: [1:04] Introduction to Shannon McGorry, Divorce and Empowerment Coach. [3:50] How to find a way to work through the divorce. [5:40] Re-learning your identity, as well as uncovering what your needs and values are. [8:20] What is needed in life to feel the peace and value of freedom. [9:25] How to find accountability to uphold habits and what changes need to be made to honor your values. [10:10] What to do when you are in the middle of a divorce, tips on how to handle triggers. Key Takeaways: Uncovering your values while going through divorce can help you to harness who you are and who you want to become. Oftentimes our values are dishonored and trampled on during times of divorce with all the unknown, which can cause a lot of unease throughout this difficult time. Learning who you are at your core, what habits you need to put in place, and learning to feel peace in your life are very important ways to stay focused on moving yourself forward. Divorce does not have to define you, instead it can open up a way to uncover who you truly are. Quotes: “Divorce brings with it so many choices and decisions and thoughts and feelings and conversations and it can get the best of us in a New York minute so I really like to help clients to harness their mindset.” - Shannon McGorry “Divorce cuts through the layers, and really exposes us again, we’re left standing not really sure of who that person is.” - Shannon McGorry Guest Bio: Shannon McGorry is a women’s empowerment coach and speaker. Having lived firsthand through the question of "What's Next?!" and the indescribable experience of divorce, she now helps other women walk their own road of redefinition, holding them accountable to their future. Certified as a Professional Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and a graduate of I Heart Coaching, Shannon’s powerful coaching skills lead women toward lives of purpose, fulfillment, and joy! Resources: Shannon’s Website Shannon’s Instagram Shannon’s LinkedIn Shannon’s Facebook
16:16
June 07, 2022
Saddle Up Segment: Gift Yourself 10 Minutes to Identify Negative Core Beliefs
Saddle Up Segment: Gift Yourself 10 Minutes to Identify Negative Core Beliefs
Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Tracy Pleschourt asks listeners to set aside 10 minutes to identify their negative root beliefs that they have never considered to be untrue, and beliefs that they have identified themselves with. This may take you back 10, 20, or 30 years. Ask yourself, what beliefs have I carried forward throughout my life that I might just be operating from today? For example, Is it true that I am broken just because my parents divorced back in 1981? In what ways is that not true? These are two compelling questions to ask yourself. Tracy warns us that it might be painful, but you're capable of feeling any emotion, including sadness. This includes the fear that you as a human being are capable of fearing feeling those emotions. Give yourself permission to heal. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. Resources Website: https://www.self-madeu.com/
05:25
June 02, 2022
Healing Childhood Divorce
Healing Childhood Divorce
Today we are joined by the Founder of Self-Made U, Tracy Pleschourt. Tracy is a life coach who helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness. Tracy is also a child of divorce, a fact that defined her self worth for years. Tune in to learn how Tracy became a watcher of her thoughts, overcame her negative root beliefs, and why divorce is no longer a part of her identity. In this episode: [02:07] Being a child of divorce does not have to be a part of your identity. [05:16] Tracy shares how her parent’s divorce impacted her childhood and self worth. [10:15] How our root beliefs affect almost every circumstance in our everyday lives. [14:29] How can we unlearn our negative root beliefs? [15:00] What is the difference between a primitive brain in action and a prodigy brain in action? [20:29] One thing you can do right away to add value to your life. Key Takeaways: Now in 2022, there are so many communities, support systems, and resources for families going through divorce. We all have a part of our brain that is very primitive.  It’s very reactive because it’s meant to keep us safe.  We also have a more evolved section of our brain called the prodigy section.  It actively analyzes data to help us make decisions and ask questions. Identifying your negative root beliefs is the first step to unlearning them. Quotes: “Our brains will jump onto that dramatic bandwagon, if we are only making our decisions or creating beliefs from drama, it’s just going to perpetuate like a snowball rolling down a hill.” Tracy Pleschourt “You are a watcher of your thoughts.” Tracy Pleschourt Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt Life and Wellness Coach Tracy Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Just a few years ago, Tracy was a successful advertising executive. Stifled by the rigorous, time-consuming demands of the corporate world, she traded in her 20 years of advertising to pursue her real passion: life & weight loss coaching. Tracy is a student of her own work and has stopped overeating, overdrinking, and created a multi six figure business while mastering metabolic health.  Today, Tracy coaches people all across the country who want to do the same. Tracy dedicates her work to ambitious, life-long learners yearning for answers and seeking a better way to create the results they desire and deserve. She instills confidence and a call to action that leads to unlimited wealth and wellness. Resources: Self-Made-U Website
25:37
May 31, 2022
Parenting through Divorce, a Childs Perspective with Bella Duncan
Parenting through Divorce, a Childs Perspective with Bella Duncan
This episode is for children of divorce and their parent's.  Bella Duncan is a delightful 23 year old who comes to us all the way from Australia.   Her parents divorced when she was just 3 years old.  She now shares her insights through blogging on her webiste: A Kid with Two Homes.  Today we focus on one specific blog about Decision-making. Think about all the decisions kids of divorce must make.  We can view it as an opportunity to better prepare them for their futures by doing it right.  Here are Bella's tips from her blog:   Decision Making Tips 1.     Determine what you want To make a good decision, you need to be aware of what you want. This is irrespective of what others may want. 2.     Find a balance Identifying what you want is step number one, now it’s time to find a balance between what you want and what you need. What does this mean? Well, from previous blogs, we know that it is important to maintain a relationship with your parents, however, not at the cost of your own happiness. 3.     Communicate your decision-making process As with everything, Communication! Is! Key! Why? Because you are not alone, and people want to help you with challenging decisions! Motivated by putting her words into actions, Bella is an empowered kid of divorce who is determined to make change for the better. Currently 23, Bella has recently completed a Bachelor of Laws and a Bachelor of Psychology. Bella has gone between two homes since her parents divorced at age 3. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face. As a young adult she was inspired to provide a helpful resource to help kids of divorce feel seen, heard and less alone.  Find Bella here: Website Instagram Meet our Host: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
14:43
May 24, 2022
Divorce Mediation or Marriage Mediation with attorney Dawn Clements
Divorce Mediation or Marriage Mediation with attorney Dawn Clements
Marital Mediation is on the rise and todays guest is an expert in this field.  As you know Court does not have to be the answer.  Marriage Mediation like  divorce mediation has conflict resolution at its core.  Most divorcing clients are arguing about: 1. Finances. 2. Parenting. 3. Communication. 4. Division of labor.  As Attorneys turned Mediators we help you understand your positions, interests, needs and a resolution.  We are not therapists.  They are important too.  Rather than looking in the rearview mirror Attorney Mediators help you look straight ahead and find conflict resolution for your future; whether you stay married or divorce. Dawn Clement is a Pennsylvania Family Law Mediator & Attorney, Conflict Resolution Specialist, and Adjunct Professor at West Chester University.  Dawn has been practicing for almost 18 years and is focused on helping couples resolve conflict. As a former litigator, it became clear to Dawn that families do not belong in court!  Soon after starting a family of her own, she began to explore better ways to guide couples through the family law process without going to war.  She now helps couples avoid costly court battles by resolving cases amicably using the mediation process. Find Dawn: website instagram linkedin After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
32:49
May 17, 2022
Betrayal and Marriage with Dr. Debi Silber
Betrayal and Marriage with Dr. Debi Silber
Betrayal is a different type of trauma for two reasons:  1.  It feels intentional, it is rejection which is different than if you lose someone you love.  2.  There are a collection of symptoms (physical and mental) and time does not heal them.   Today Dr Debi Silber the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute a holistic psychologist and author shares her insight into betrayal.  And there is a lot.  During her recent PHD study she learned the 5 stages of betrayal. 1. Set up stage where you ignore your feelings. 2. Shock and trauma-your world view is shattered.   3. Survival instincts emerge.  This is the place where most people get stuck.  In this stage people do not trust anyone,  or they think maybe they deserved it. This stage can last for years and often people can call more distrustful relationships into their lives.   4. Finding and adjusting to a new normal.  If friends and loved ones don't rise they don't come with you. 5. This is where the healing is with a re-birth, self love, mind healing and a new world view.  The questions you can ask yourself if you are feeling stuck in number 3 are: am I numbing or avoiding feelings if so how?  What am I pretending to see, what will my life look like in 5 years if I do nothing? What can life look like if I change? If you have been betrayed you need to rebuild self trust in your truth.  If you chose to trust the betrayer again It is up to the betrayer to build that trust brick by brick. Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. Find Dr. Debi here: Website Facebook Instagram Linkedin After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
31:27
May 10, 2022
Free Divorce Tools with guest Divorce Journalist Ilyssa Panitz
Free Divorce Tools with guest Divorce Journalist Ilyssa Panitz
Survive and thrive through your divorce. Today’s guest, Ilyssa Panitz the red carpet journalist who became the only Divorce Journalist/Columnist committed to helping others navigate this major life transition:  covering every angle and exploring every topic when it comes to a divorce.   Today's episode contains a wealth of information available to you as you walk through the divorce process.  “Let me be your waze…I will get you there.” Ilyssa Panitz. The first and most important step is to do your homework. Learn what you have, what you owe and make a list. Sometimes you can learn a lot just by checking your mail. As you know, knowledge is power. This power can bring you some peace when you are going through a difficult divorce. You can find all things divorce in Ilyssa's articles.  Ilyssa writes a daily column entitled “5 Things You Need to Know How to Survive and Thrive During & After A Divorce” for Authority Magazine on Medium. She also serves as the Content/Editorial Producer for The National Association of Divorce Professionals, as well as a Co-Host of “All Things Divorce” on Clubhouse. In July 2021, Ilyssa began reaching an even wider audience through her role as creator and host of a national radio show called, “The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz” that airs weekly on CRN Digital Talk Radio. Ilyssa’s prior experience as a Reporter/Producer for leading media outlets has afforded her a seamless segue into the world of divorce reporting. Over the course of her extensive career, Ilyssa has worked at such communications icons as CNN, MSNBC, 1010 WINS Radio (NY), WCBS-AM, New York-1 News, Westwood One, Star Magazine, Closer Magazine, and Meredith Publishing. Among the major news events that she has covered are The Tony Awards, The MTV Movie Awards, the Television Network Upfronts, the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, The September 11th Terrorist Attacks, The NBA Finals, and the 1994/1995 Major League Baseball Strike. Find Ilysa here: Website Facebook Linkedin Instagram MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
31:32
May 03, 2022
The ins and outs of Alimony with Minnesota attorney Michelle Kniess
The ins and outs of Alimony with Minnesota attorney Michelle Kniess
Today attorney Michelle Kniess shares her knowledge of Spousal Maintenance/ Alimony in Minnesota and Wisconsin on Doing Divorce Different.  Whether you are working together with your spouse through the mediation process (or needing an attorney to advise) Spousal Maintenance is an important issue in many divorces.  Michelle says when clients come to her to learn about spousal maintenance they need to review and decide the amount, the duration and whether or not it is modifiable.   Each Spousal Maintenance situation is very unique. There are many factors in determining spousal maintenance.  Some of them are:  the length of the marriage, the earning capacity, and the standard of living during the marriage.  Courts always want the person receiving maintenance to help themselves to the extent they can when support is an issue.  Michelle stated it beautifully when she talked about what your plan was during your marriage.  Was one party planning to stay home more with the children while the other built their career.  All of these factors affect how Spousal Maintenance is determined. The bottom line, it is based on the need of one party and the resources of the paying party.  When I work through mediations with clients we begin with each parties budget and what they think their future budget will be.  Then we look at what each parties net income is.  Once we have this we have a better understanding of what one party needs and what the other can afford. Michelle Kniess devotes her entire practice to family law in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Her practice focuses on divorce, custody and parenting time, spousal maintenance, child support, and property valuation and division, including business interests. Michelle practiced as a business litigation attorney prior to pursuing a career in family law. She owned and managed a boutique family law practice for nearly nine years prior to joining Hellmuth & Johnson. Michelle brings many years of experience and a vast knowledge of family law, in both Minnesota and Wisconsin, to Hellmuth & Johnson. Michelle received her Juris Doctor from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 2005 and her Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 2002.  Find Michelle at: Website
32:05
April 26, 2022
Divorce Dating and your Children with Divorce over 40's Daniel Herrold on Doing Divorce Different with host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski # 44
Divorce Dating and your Children with Divorce over 40's Daniel Herrold on Doing Divorce Different with host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski # 44
Are you Divorced, over 40 and thinking about dating.  Daniel Herrold the Divorced Dad walks us through how he navigated dating and divorce with teens.  Daniel shares his authentic story and some feelings of shame about how he handled dating when his marriage ended.  In this episode he shares what he would have done different and what he did right.  This delightful conversation begins with answering when should I start dating?  Daniels heartfelt response is not before the decree is signed.  He urges people to heal themselves first, hire a therapist, get comfortable with your new parenting situation; and when you feel complete on your own you are ready to begin dating.  He feels very positive about how he introduced his girlfriend to his children.  He never talked to his kids about dating or introduced them to anyone until they were ready.  How did he know he was ready?  His kids initiated it.  They were curious and Daniel was always honest.  When they asked to meet her and Daniel felt it was a committed relationship everyone was prepared.  He adds that each situation is different.  Some kids may be extremely upset and you may need a different plan in place. Daniel has strong feelings about dating apps.  He brought a new perspective to me.  You know how above we talked about wait to date until you feel complete.  Well a lot of the people over 40 on dating apps are not healed yet.  They jump into dating as a wounded individual and that is not going to lead to any successful connections. Daniel says when you are ready,  put all your lines in.  Network with good friends.  Remember the hobbies you love and do them.  "Put yourself out there!" Daniel began Divorced Over 40 with conversations among a few new friends. Over small dinners and happy hours during the summer of 2020, six 40-somethings in Tulsa realized one striking common denominator: their midlife, post-divorce status.  Messy, raw, friendly, acrimonious, you name it – our experiences with divorce and our ex were varied, but all of them sang from the same sheet of music: divorce midlife is not for the faint of heart. Themes began to emerge such as the importance of friendship, managing a new set of finances, self care and healing, successful co-parenting and, of course, dating.   Find Daniel here: Website Instagram Facebook Linkedin MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
30:33
April 19, 2022
A Divorce Coach in Your Back Pocket with Jennifer Warren Medwin
A Divorce Coach in Your Back Pocket with Jennifer Warren Medwin
Happiness is an inside job.  In this episode Jen Medwin coaches us to empowerment through divorce and beyond.  Jen uses mnemonics (easy to remember words and phrases/I am sharing because I had to look it up)  in her new book Strategies and Tips from a Divorce Coach.  It is like having a divorce coach in your back pocket. She urges people going through divorce to pause and be aware or how you are feeling.  Here is just one example of her mnemonics: E + R= O. The Event + how you React = the Outcome.  You have control over how you react.  Make sure to take a breath, pause and become aware of how you manage conflict.  Jen is a huge proponent of moving forward and she has a lot of teaching on empowerment.  Jen schooled me on how some of my words could be more empowering.  And when I used words like I chose to believe rather than I have to believe my whole mindset changed.  Meet our guest:  Jennifer Warren Medwin, MS is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach.  Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator.  Her private practice is called Seeking Empowerment.  Jennifer works alongside couples who are contemplating divorce and are fearful of high conflict and with those who have hope to save their marriages.  Find her at: Website    Instagram Facebook Linkedin MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
33:39
April 12, 2022
How can I Help my Children Through a Divorce with Guest Author and Mediator Despina Mavridou and Host Attorney Turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #42
How can I Help my Children Through a Divorce with Guest Author and Mediator Despina Mavridou and Host Attorney Turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #42
Helping your kids through divorce is paramount to divorcing parents.  Author Despina Mavridou knows first hand.  Growing up in Greece, she was the child of a tumultuous divorce.  She shares her story of being alienated from her father for almost 29 years.  Despina's book, Mum, Dad Can you Hear Me? Addresses all the feelings she had going through divorce as a child.  She is passionate about sharing this information because she was afraid to speak her feelings as a child of divorce.  Her book is a way to give children going through a divorce a voice.  The book is an amazing resource for parents and children.   Find Despina Mavridou at: Facebook All Despina's Books Instagram MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome. 2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website: Instagram: Linkedin: Facebook: 
27:57
April 05, 2022
Starting Over Helping Single Parents get on their feet with guest Meghan Wick and host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #41
Starting Over Helping Single Parents get on their feet with guest Meghan Wick and host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #41
Feeling blessed to have this breath of fresh air on Doing Divorce Different today. You know how much I love supporting people who have been through difficult times and want to help others through them.  Meghan Wick is doing just this and in such a unique way.  Listen up to learn how she can, "help single moms/dads get on their feet again and give them something that could remind them of their resilience and courage."  How you make ask?  Through styling and photography. Find Meghan at: website instagram linkedin MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers: 1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.   2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication. 3. At your side from start to finish and beyond. Website:   Instagram:   Linkedin:   Facebook: 
14:44
March 29, 2022
How to Start my Divorce? With Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different Bonus #40
How to Start my Divorce? With Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different Bonus #40
This is the nuts and bolts of what you need to begin your Divorce Mediation process.  Yes, the paperwork.  Here it is in a nutshell: Taxes Pay stubs Retirement Plan Statements Health and Dental coverage information Stock information and values Property deeds Life Insurance Paperwork Bank Account information Debts Budgets If you begin pulling all of this information together you are off to a good start.  Budgets are difficult; they are so important.  It gives you a leg up to know how much you need to survive and thrive after the divorce.  It will also better prepare you in your negotiations. And don't forget to outline what your values are.  Mediation is a bit of a compromise so if you know what you are willing to bend on (and what you are not)- before you actually sit down to mediate - you are better able to leverage your true needs. If you need Divorce Support, or know someone who does, please contact me.  I am here and I want to help.
12:32
March 24, 2022
Emotionally Preparing for your Divorce with Tracy Pleschourt and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #39
Emotionally Preparing for your Divorce with Tracy Pleschourt and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #39
Emotionally preparing for divorce is essential to a successful mediation.  Host Lesa Koski is on a mission to help people prepare emotionally as well as logistically.  Todays episode shares an amazing Yoga inspired body connection with Coach Tracy Pleschourt (Founder of Self Made U and Lesa Koski's personal coach).  Feelings run rampant during divorce.  That being said, You still need an amazing divorce plan that will set you in the right direction for the rest of your life.  By utilizing this process you will be in control of your mind even during these volatile moments.   Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes. Tracy's website  instagram facebook linkedin MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  In truth, Lesa Koski Mediates wherever she shows up.  She is fully equipped with the communication skills that bring a taste of peace to the nastiest discrepancies. Lesa's mission is to offer compassionate, complete, competent services while maker her life such that it blesses humankind.  This mission is palpable when you shake Lesa's hand.  Clients love working with Lesa because she is trustworthy and capable.  Above all, Lesa Koski is a brilliant communicator, bar none. Website:  lesakoski.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/ Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/
13:33
March 22, 2022
Can I Afford a Divorce with Guest Dare to Change Live's Millin Livis and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #38
Can I Afford a Divorce with Guest Dare to Change Live's Millin Livis and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #38
Don't let finances keep you in a bad marriage.  Learn how to become Financially independent from Millen Livis.  You may just want to listen to hear Millen's beautiful french accents.  Millen escaped from Lithuania 30 years ago, while it was under Soviet rule, with her young daughter and husband.  Finding herself in a strange country, not knowing the language and divorced was terrifying for Millen.  She pulled herself up from the depths of despair and now wants to help others through difficult financial situations.  She is living a life she loves by: helping people through difficult times, re-married to a wonderful frenchman (sharing her time between Florida and the South of France) and turning her mess into a message.   Millen explains that financial freedom means different things to different people and you need to discover your own core values. Millen also talks about how to have a wealth mindset.  My favorite quote from this episode, "Whatever dream you have; there is a better life after divorce." MILLEN LIVIS is International Holistic Financial Independence mentor, best-selling author, investor, and entrepreneur. Graduate of the acclaimed Wharton Business School, holder of a Master’s Degree in Physics, certified NLP practitioner, and certified Instant Miracle energy healer, Millen combines her traditional and holistic education to help women elevate their financial intelligence so that they become Financially Independent (or retire early) faster, and enjoy more freedom in their lives without having to worry about money. Millen's Website  Facebook Instagram Youtube MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  In truth, Lesa Koski Mediates wherever she shows up.  She is fully equipped with the communication skills that bring a taste of peace to the nastiest discrepancies. Lesa's mission is to offer compassionate, complete, competent services while maker her life such that it blesses humankind.  This mission is palpable when you shake Lesa's hand.  Clients love working with Lesa because she is trustworthy and capable.  Above all, Lesa Koski is a brilliant communicator, bar none. Website:   Instagram:   Linkedin:   Facebook: 
37:41
March 15, 2022
How do I Survive Divorce with Journey Beyond Divorce Founder Karen McMahon and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #37