Les Chat Podcast - LGBTQ+ - Lesbian Latinas

Join us on episode #99 as we explore the various types of attraction that shape our relationships.

Have you ever found yourself questioning the nature of your attraction towards someone? Our exploration goes into the blend of emotions, whether it's physical desire, intellectual admiration, or emotional resonance.

Sources:

Join us on this episode #98 as we reminisce about our unforgettable family trip to Medellin, Colombia. From exploring, eating and dancing to an unexpected event turned our trip into a rollercoaster ride – one of us ended up in the hospital, not once, but twice!

As we talk about our highs and lows of our Medellin adventure, we delve into deep questions that would be perfect for first dates. Some of them were…

• Would you rather spend a day with your younger self or older self? 

• What advice would you impart to your 10-year-old self if given the chance? 

• And in the event of memory loss, what would be the first thing you'd say to help regain memories?

EP 97: We dive into random questions, confessions, and family meeting topics sent anonymously via Instagram and NGL! Join us as we explore unspoken thoughts and feelings, offering candid insights and humor. From taboo confessions to lesbian drama, we tackle it all, creating a safe space for raw and unfiltered discussions.

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Rejection has always been the hardest pill for us all to swallow. It bears such a negative weight when we feel as though someone you show such interest in just doesn’t share that same interest in return. We then find ourselves questioning what it is about us that could be wrong. But nothing is wrong with you!! Once we accept the fact that we aren’t for everyone just like everyone isn’t for us.. rejection becomes a lot less personal. 

FAMILY MEETING:

"Google Voicemail: I started dating a girl who talks bad about her friends.."

"I took the initiative to inseminate (without telling my partner) - how does this make it any different from getting pregnant by a man in the situation that both of y’all are a couple?"

TO LEAVE US A VOICE NOTE VIA TEXT OR VOICEMAIL ‪- CONTACT US AT (862) 786-8233‬ 

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Curiosity is heavy during our teenage years because we’re trying to find our identity. Those are the years where we are introduced to friendships, relationships, sex, and maybe even questioning our sexuality. As we get older we still learn how to navigate through all those things because no matter how old we are we still find ourselves searching for our identities as we continue to grow.

- Is sexuality a spectrum?

- Do you have to limit yourself to a label?

- Is it because of growing up in a heteronormative society?

Family meeting:

1. " I was with a guy/married for 10 years, came out as gay a year ago & left him. Since being out of that relationship, I have realized that he is a huge narcissist and emotionally abused me. He used to say I had saggy boobs to the point I had a breast reduction, big thighs, big arms, etc."

2. "I feel like I am being tested in my life/career. I just graduated with my masters degree & started a new job but I have never felt so lost and alone than I do right now."

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What do you consider queer bating? In EP 94 we discuss queer baiting which is when someone uses the possibility of a queer relationship or queer representation to get audiences to watch a show/movie, etc... but they never actually follow through with it. We go into different examples (Karol G, Bad Bunny, Harry Styles, etc)  as well as the history on queer baiting in the 1940’s-1960’s with the “Lavender Scare”.

Society has put a lot of pressure on the importance of family. Having loving parents, sharing happy memories with your siblings, feeling safe and protected by the ones you share blood with.. However, that isn’t the version of "family" that everyone gets to experience.

• What is a chosen family?
• Why is it important to the community?
• What to look for when choosing a family?
• Where to find people to be a part of my chosen family?

TO LEAVE US A VOICE NOTE VIA TEXT OR VOICEMAIL ‪- CONTACT US AT (862) 786-8233‬

Family meeting:

1. "I am an 18 year old female and am struggling to be around my family. I'm half Black and half Latino, not to be stereotypical BUT when things happen in the family, we don’t talk about it! We “pray” and “move on ''. Very often they will bring up the topic of LGBTQ and say hateful things to intentionally hurt me(they are all very Christian). "

2. "Do you have lesbian friends that don’t want kids? As a childfree lesbian I feel bombarded by breeders, even in the LGBTQ community."

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We're back! From what seems to be a long overdue break from the podcast. We talk about how the impact of big life changes in a relationship can be for the best or worse. SORRY FOR THE STATIC SOUND YA'LL :(

Unpacking the U-HAUL:

• What our thoughts were prior to moving.
• What challenges/stressors we faced in the process.
• What helped us adapt to the new environment.

Highland Park therapy article gives 

6  ways to navigate your relationship and big life changes

1. Open communication

2. Prioritize self care 

3. Lean on your support system

4. Interstate adaptability 

5. Prioritize quality time 

6. Work with a therapist 

As the new year approaches, we reflect on 2023 and set intentions for the new year. We also share some bittersweet news in this episode.

EP 91: We discuss our biggest accomplishments in the past year, as well as challenges and obstacles we faced. We dive into personal struggles we had in 2023 and how we plan on achieving personal goals and self improvement for the new year.

In this week's episode we welcome our friend Brennah back to Les Chat to deep dive into the tragedies of lesbian dating. Brennah shares some details about how her dating journey has been going and we run through a list of dating icks. The best advice Brennah wanted to leave with us is that letting go of expectations could make dating less tragic. You don't need to find you person right away. Have fun and get to know yourself in the process. Family Meeting: 1. Can y'all talk about WHY we have this weird dating trend where people talk for 3/4 months and then never speak again?

2. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months already. I just found out that she has still kept contact with her past fling.

Coming out to your kids as “LGBTQ+” can be a hard conversation. In today’s episode we invite our dearest friend/momma to talk about her experience!

We dive into

• Can you date someone who’s in the closet?
• How to prepare yourself to come out to your kids.Advice for parents who want to come out to their kids but don’t know how.
• Do parents need to come out?

Family Meeting Questions

1. “I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years now but I met a girl who’s a coworker and I think I have fallen for this girl.”

2. “I just found out my fiance, who I have been with for 5 years, has been cheating on me for the last 2 months with my step brother.”

Jynette's IG: https://www.instagram.com/fromconcept2closing/

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Marriage! A popular topic we love to talk about. Same sex marriage became legal in 2015, only 8 years ago. In this episode we dive into our idea of marriage growing up and our point of view on marriage now. We dive into

• "What are the main reasons for same sex couples divorcing"?

• "Why do you think marriage is so “valued” by society?"

Lastly, we dive into questions to ask before getting married!

The holidays can be a little intimidating, especially for queer people who may or may NOT feel safe in places or with people (family) they are going to visit. We’re gonna chat about how you can make the most out of this holiday season to keep your sanity!

1. "Lesbian relationships and being friends with an ex. I feel this is more common among lesbian relationships and it’s not really talked about."

2.  "I’ve been together with my girlfriend for 4/5 months, she’s met my family and friends, has been over to my home etc but I haven’t met any of her family yet nor friends. Seems like she’s waiting for the “right time”, I’m starting to feel like I’m being kept a secret for some strange reason."

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The coming out process isn’t always a positive experience for a lot of LGBTQ+ people. Not only do they struggle with the process of figuring themselves out but they also bear the weight of all the negativity they may face when sharing their truth with family and friends. So as an ally, how do you provide a safe space for those to disclose to you their sexuality/ gender identity without fear of judgment. 

Family Meeting Questions

1. “I caught my having sex with her coworker (a man) and he claimed he's her boyfriend”

2. "My wife and I had been married for two years but recently I found out she cheated on me a few months before we moved to another state".

Relationship breaks are perceived as a negative and selfish act. How can you claim to love your partner but want a break from your relationship? Most times one partner wants to take a break while the other partner doesn’t because it is viewed as one foot out the door to a break up. Taking a break in a relationship has a negative stigma because their purpose is never used in a positive way. In this episode we give reasons to why relationship breaks do not work, we share our personal experiences with breaks, and 5 rules to a healthy relationship break.

Family Meeting:

1. "How can I get past putting other people's sexual pleasure before my own? I just want someone who wants to please me as much as I want to please them."

2. "I'm in a relationship with an amazing man. However, I'm confused and struggling with my sexuality."

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We say that communication is the key to a successful relationship but what does that look like in practice? Dayra shares some questions that help practice monthly check-ins with your partner. Dayra also mentions the new found research behind lab grown babies and how IVG could transform reproduction.

Questions to ask your partner:

1. What is something I have done this month that made you feel loved and cared for?

2. Do you feel there’s anything we need to improve in our relationship?

3. Is there anything you need that I haven't been giving you?

4. When was the last time I hurt your feelings and you decided not to speak about it?

5. Do you feel like you still have enough time for your friends and interests?

6. What’s one thing you’d want to change/try out for the next month?

Family Meeting Questions:

1. "Is it normal to not have any serious romantic experiences at 21 years old?"

2. "What are your thoughts on being ghosted?"

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We love to see LOVE on the big screen, especially WLW relationships. In this episode, Jojo shares some of her favorite TV lesbian relationships that she just can’t get enough of, as well as a list of other queer related TV shows for you to check out. To end on a juicy note, Dayra brings out the new couples question card game called pillow talk and let’s get naked from the “open up”.

Having non-negotiables allows you to set boundaries for people to respect the things that you value most in life. It’s like a promise you make to yourself to not let anyone bend the rules or change your mind on what you want most. You hold yourself and them accountable when it comes to those boundaries by sticking to your word. So let us share our personal non-negotiables that we set for dating/relationships as well as 10 general examples for all couples.

Family meeting:

1. How do i get my virgo girlfriend back?

2. I saw my girlfriends DM's with a guy she went on a date with but she doesn't know that I know. How do I bring it up to her?

Read more about non-negotiables:

There’s a current trend going around where people are asking their parents hypothetical questions just to see how they would respond/react in situations that most strict parents would overreact. 

In episode 78, we’re now following this trend by asking each other how we would react in certain scenarios where most lesbian couples would probably OVERREACT! Dayra asks Jojo “What if I were to go out with my friends and I tell you that a guy was buying my friends and I drinks ALL night?”... And Jojo asked Dayra “What if I told you that I did not like your outfit and told you that you needed to change your outfit?”.

Family Meeting Questions 

1. “I identify as a lesbian, I used to be so passionate about my identity and would always talk/think about it, now, I feel like I could care less. I have less desire to partake in discourse or consume queer media. Even when pride came around this year I just didn't get all that excited about it. Is it wrong to feel this way? 

2. “My partner and I have a very flexible and *healthy* relationship, but sometimes I feel like I haven't enjoyed my young adult life being single, and that's making me nervous…”

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We’re often asked to give tips on how to flirt whether you’re out in public or on social media. Flirting is supposed to be fun. It’s not meant to be hard or done with the intention of finding the love of your life. So we share 5 types of flirting styles we learned to help you find your groove. You can stick to the style you’re most confident with or learn a new one to master!

What was life like before coming out for us? Since Dayra came out later in life she had a lot to say about this, comparing gay dating vs straight dating, how we dressed compared to now, and even finding ourselves in welcoming spaces with people who make us feel comfortable to be ourselves.

FAMILY MEETING QUESTIONS

1. "I came out when I was 18 and have only had one brief relationship and an series of hookups and situationships with women. I’m sick and TIRED of dating apps and want to meet someone organically but don’t know how?!"

2. "My straight best friend for 3 years is giving gay vibes, I don't see her as more than a friend but I still feel kinda awkward around her. Do you think it's just girls being girls or something else?"

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In this week's episode we answer some relationship questions submitted by our fellow listeners..

1. Being loved bombed by partners that aren’t ready to commit.

2. “Partners” that aren’t ready to commit but want you to meet their friends and do things for you.

3. Talking to other people while also figuring out your dating goals with the person you’re talking to.
4. Why do partners feel the need to overspend on you fresh out the gate?

Family meeting:

1. "I've been talking to a girl for 6 months but she isn't ready for a relationship. Should I wait for her?"

2. "How do I continue to grow with the person I'm talking to when I always feel second to their deceased ex?"

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As adults we get busy with life and we tend to grow apart from those we love. If you’re a loyal listener you know we focus on lgbtq+ topics, however, in this episode we talk a little bit about family. We dive into the following…

• Describing our relationship with our siblings

• How we came out to our siblings and how that relationship was like after coming out

• Sibling drama/fighting for our parents attention/favoritism, etc!

We also dive into why siblings grow apart over time.

Family Meeting Questions

1. “I was talking to a married lesbian for 2 months and her wife found out”

2. “My girlfriend has an ex who has a son and my gf is very attached to him, not sure what to do”.

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We couldn't let pride month go by without out deep diving into the most popular Netflix queer reality series "THE ULTIMATUM: QUEER LOVE"!! Yes, we FINALLY discuss our thoughts on the original 5 couples, the trail couples, and the all the drama in between up until the reunion. DISCLAIMER this episode is a huge spoiler alert so if you have not yet watched or finished watching this series we suggest you do that first and tune back into this episode. Also, if you're looking to close out this pride month with a night to remember then come join us in NYC for the very last pride month celebration!! Click the link below for details on the NYC Pride Event!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! This episode was short and sweet where we talk about what’s going on this month, what events we will be attending as well as some events YOU should attend as well!

Below are some events happening in NJ/Philly/NYC and LA! 

6/6/23 - 6/11/23 - LA - 7 Exclusive Events For Women Who Love Women @taste.ent @tasteofficial_ 

6/9/23 - Haddon Township Pride @haddontownshipequityinitiative

6/10/23 - Sip City Queer Prom @sipcitymixer (Tickets can be found here: https://linktr.ee/leschat - use promo code "leschatpodcast"

6/10/23 - Queer Mixer in Jersey City with @jerseycityconnects

6/10/23 - Philly Pride Run @phillypriderun 

6/10/23 - Brooklyn Pride @brooklyn_pride

6/10/23 - Montclair, NJ Pride @outmontclair

6/10/23 - Red Bank, NJ Pride In The Park @redbank_nj

6/10/23 - LA HoodRave @hoodravela

6/11/23 - LA Pride Village Parade @hollywoodpartnership

6/11/23 - Drag Brunch Canopy in NJ @jerseycitypride

6/15/23 - Trans Pride in Philly @sipcitymixer

6/17, 6/24 & 6/25 - Pride Party Cruise: Sparkle in the Dark @eventcruises_nyc

6/21/23 - NYC Yankees Pride Night @nycpride

6/22/23 - 6/24/23 NYC Party with @edennycpride

6/23/23 - 6/24/23 - NYC Pride Drag Brunch Cruise @eventcruises_nyc

6/24/23 - Pride 5K 

6/25/23 NYC Pride Grand Finale @slateny with @nydreamgyrl

6/25/23 - NY Pride Island @brooklynarmyterminal 

6/23/23 - NYC Pride 

NJ Drag Queen Entertainment Shows @dragqueenentertainment

Jersey City Drag Shows on Fridays & Saturdays with @six26_lounge

Family Meeting Questions

1. “I’ve fallen for a straight girl!”

2. "What would you choose? you find a girl you have an out of this world emotional connection, but zero physical attraction OR you have another girl that connects with you on every sexual level, but you can't show your true self outside the bedroom.”

3. “I’m 21 and I’m dating a 26 year old, but I wasn’t being honest with myself”

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It's no secret that in lesbian culture we find ourselves befriending exes or maybe even getting involved with close friends! While it seems cool and convenient at first, it can be quite the MESS. Sharing a friend group with your partner can be ideal for many reasons..

For example, you understand the friendship dynamic, you share most of the same interests, you reciprocate one another's energy, and have the same ideas of what boundaries are. However, dating someone in your friend group or befriending an ex can also be weird and create instability in your shared friend group. 

We share some tips on dating someone in your friend group and tips on what to if you breakup with someone who has the same friend group as you.

Family Meeting Q&A:

1. "Can you be friends with an EX?"

2. "My girlfriend won't tell me why she stopped talking to her "bestie"."

3. "My girlfriend went out and broke my trust."

Why are there so many stigmas towards the LGBTQ+ community? I’m sure we’ve all heard the following statements...

• “Homosexuality is a choice”

• “You can’t be queer and religious”

• “All bisexuals are promiscuous”

And many more! Before the 1970s, most stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community were extremely negative, doctors believed if you were gay, you suffered from a mental disorder. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality as a mental disorder, but then replaced it with "sexual orientation disturbance." Then in 1987, the (DSM) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders removed homosexuality from their list.

We also dive into stigmas regarding HIV. For as long as HIV has existed in the public eye, it has been associated with the LGBTQ+ community. We are excited to share that we are partnering up with The Black Aids Institute. 

You don't have to be famous or be known by the world to leave behind a legacy that will live beyond our existence. We all play a part in the impact and influence we have on one another's lives. It’s up to you on what you want to be remembered for.

In this episode we talk about the people we looked up to that have shaped us into who we've become leading up to adulthood. We dive into how in creating this platform, we'll leave that legacy behind us and how we want to be remembered as a couple as well as an individual.

Family Meeting

“I’m straight but I think I’m in love with my BFF”

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When we were younger, making new friends was easy and having a larger group of friends was normal. However, as we get older having only two or three close friends becomes the norm because life just seems to get in the way. In this episode we talk about how work, parenting, home chores, relationships and even the pandemic made friendships harder to maintain as an adult. We also dive into how friendships look after coming out and what it's like to be the only gay friend in the group. Family meeting: 1. My GF and I work for the same company she’s a HR manger and i’m a supervisor but we work in different buildings.The issue is that when i am venting to her about work or some gossip it always turns into a argument because her HR comes out but i have to remind her that I am venting to my GF not HR. 2. I’ve been with my girl for a year and half. She has a daughter who has ADHD. This wasn’t told to me upfront and it has caused some difficulties in the relationship. We’re good overall, but the child is an issue due to lack of respect. How do you find a middle ground or do you walk away? IG: https://www.instagram.com/les.chatpodcast/   TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@les.chatpodcast?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@leschatpodcast/  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/leschatpod  Link tree: https://linktr.ee/leschat  Gender Neutral Boxers: Get 10% off with our code: LES10 https://www.luckyskivvies.com/

Nairobi, also known as Robi is a middle school art teacher who has gone viral on TikTok for the way they manage their classroom, funny conversations with students, tiktok dances, outfit of the day and more! 

Pronouns are not something we’ve touched on in this podcast because we wanted someone to come in and educate us and talk about their experience. Robi identifies as non-binary and goes by they/them. So what are pronouns?! It’s what you use to address other people when you’re not using names. The most common pronouns are she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, and he/him/his. 

It’s important to respect pronouns because you wouldn’t call someone a different name other than the one they have. In this episode we dive into 

💜Robi’s teaching experience/why they became a teacher

💛What students address them as and how Robi corrects them or doesn’t correct them when they say the wrong pronoun, such as “Ms Robi”

💗And more!

Family Meeting: 

• We don’t have any family meeting/Q&A in this episode. 

Robi’s Social Media Handles

Most of our daily time is spent at work with fellow coworkers, more than we see our loved ones. Our co-workers are the people who relate the most to us because they work side by side for hours throughout the week. It's unrealistic to think that we won’t ever create a bond or develop potential feelings for at least one co-worker. Whether those feelings are on a romantic level or just a pure deep friendship connection you’ll find it hard to keep the vibes as just “business”. So what are the pro’s and con’s of dating someone within your workplace? Jojo and Dayra run through those pros and cons as well as some "DO'S and DON'TS" in the event that you DO decide to cross that line. 

Family Meeting:

1. "My wife got super close with a male coworker. They are texting/calling each other constantly. I told her that it’s too much but she told me that I can’t tell her what to do. "

2. "So my girlfriend has been lying to me about her ex..."

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Red flags are the signs telling us to proceed with caution and that we're playing at our own risk. Sometimes those red flags are actually telling us that it maybe it’s time to let the relationship go.

Although it's usually easier to notice all the negative things that we experience, sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of all the positive things too. In this episode Dayra and Jojo tap into that positivity by discussing "Green Flags" when it comes to dating/relationships. They give examples of what they seek as green flags when dating someone such as good family connections, self awareness, acceptance of presentation, respectful of pronouns etc.

Family Meeting:

1. “I caught my girlfriend sexting another girl.”

2. “How do I get over the fear of approaching my crush?”

The “Lesbian Masterdoc” is a google document that asks you to consider if you are a lesbian. This is the same master doc that Kehlani read that made her realize she may be a lesbian. It’s written like a blog post and it goes through bullet points to help you understand the difference between heterosexuality and compulsory heterosexuality which is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and forced upon women, which may make women feel forced into being attracted to men, even when they might not be.  You may not relate OR you may REALLY connect with this google doc.  

We review a few sections from the chapter and discuss our thoughts on “Am I Lesbian?”, such as… 

• Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them 
• You’re far more certain about being attracted to women than you are about being attracted to men 
• Only/mostly being into guys who are gender nonconforming or feminine in some way.  

Family Meeting Questions 

1. “I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months and I still haven't seen her n@ked or haven't gotten to really be intimate with her. " 

2. “I have heard Dayra say that she has a few health problems related to IBS. I’ve been going through similar issues and feel like there are no answers for what is truly wrong with my health."   

In today’s episode we have Melanie Posner, muralist and artist. Her name rings a bell because she was part of the reality tv show Tampa Baes from Amazon Prime Video. The show was inspired by The Real L Word! In this episode we talk about.

• The REALITY of filming a reality show
• Melanie’s dating life during the show
• How Melanie got into art/becoming an artist/muralist

In EP 53 we dive into lesbian dating and the struggles of dating when it comes to

• Dating apps
• Cat fishes
• Being ghosted
• Finding time to date and more!

We also get into

• How do I initiate a conversation with a girl? OR What if I’m awkward or have anxiety?
• How do I talk to girls on dating apps?
• I'm fem presenting and I’m into fems, how do I flirt with a girl?
• How do you know if she likes girls?
• Is she flirting or being friendly?
• What if you are not receiving the same love you’re giving?

BEDUCATED COUPON CODE: LESCHAT

We all want to be accepted into our partner's family, especially when in a QUEER relationship. In this episode we discuss how important it is to try to have a rapport with your partner's family.

We also talk about the following

• How we met each other's parents/family members.
• Past experiences when meeting our partner's family.
• Uncomfortable situations when meeting family.
• Setting boundaries with our family in order to make our partner feel safe and comfortable.
• & Steps to getting along with their family (if you’re an awkward person).

Family Meeting Questions

1. What are your thoughts on girls who refuse to eat out their partners?
2. “I’m still in love with my ex”
3. “I came out as a lesbian 3 or 4 years ago and haven’t started dating yet. I'm 19 so I can’t go to bars, any tips on meeting women?”

Beducated - SAVE 40% with our coupon code: LESCHAT