Life Matters Plus 1

Compulsions can be physical or mental. Compulsions are anything that is done to immediately remove the anxiety, doubt, physical discomfort, or uncertainty that comes from obsessions.

The only way to break the obsessive-compulsive cycle is to practice uncertainty and discomfort.

When you have the urge to do a compulsion, you can thank it for trying to keep you safe, but let it know that's not necessary.  You're not in danger

Knowing what to say is one of the hardest pats of supporting a suicidal friend.  While you may not be a trained healthcare professional, you can still provide support to your friends suffering from suicidal thoughts.  As always, encourage suicidal friends to seek professional support and make sure to look out for your own mental health during this period.

-How we handle mistakes

-How we deal w/ frustrations

-How we solve problems

-How we take care of ourselves

-How we apologize and repair

-How we ask for help

-How we speak up for ourselves and others

-How we navigate conflict

-How we care for the environment

-How we listen

*We teach our kids best by modeling*

-Moves Too Fast

-Keep Secrets/Very Vague

-Puts You on a Pedestal

-Master Manipulator

-Too Clingy

-Contrasting Core Values

YouTube: https://youtu.be/iMPDGb31_DA

-Worry Less About if They Like You

-Rejection is not as personal as it feels

-Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you

-Ask Yourself: Would you be friends w/ this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them?

-Stop being shocked by repeated behavior

-You don’t need to be perfect to be loved

-Your love life is one area of your life

YouTube: https://youtu.be/QNBLpE-07lg

Ask Yourself…

-Is the way I use social media affecting my mental health negatively?

-Do I follow accounts that make me feel that I have to follow certain social schemes?

-Am I comparing my life/body/success w/ others?

-Am I seeing posts that make me unhappy?

YouTube: https://youtu.be/eqVojciB4GM

1.  Catastrophizing

2.  All or Nothing Thinking

3.  Filtering

4.  Fortune Telling

5.  Emotional Reasoning

6.  Should Statements

7.  Personalization

YouTube: https://youtu.be/OcMpmv6qNPU

1.  Give a “big” reaction to something you consider “small”

2.  Dissociate and lose touch with their surroundings

3.  Present self-isolating behaviors

4.  Shutdown emotionally

5.  Avoid physical contact or express a desire to be left alone

YouTube: https://youtu.be/x8irTfkoWMI

Triggers serve as messengers and protectors. They let you know where you may need to set a boundary or where you may need to continue to heal.  They are physical reminders from your body to keep you safe when confronted with extreme stress and reminders of trauma.  You are not broken if you have triggers.  Listen to your body and the message your triggers are telling you.  Give yourself the same love and compassion you give to others.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/xQtfrPMZwvs

Back with not only a mental health update but to acknowledge May being Mental Health Awareness month.  Mental health is one of the most stigmatized health issues that humans face across the world.  The only way to destigmatize anything is to talk about it.

This month is important so people feel heard and not alone and to spark important conversations.  So everyone can learn more about mental health.  People need to know about how to help in certain situations.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/PSjowGf3pmA

Note this was recorded Tuesday, 4/13. In a short period more instances as ones shared in this video have rocked our nation.  This is me sharing my heart through transparency and vulnerability.  

YouTube: https://youtu.be/moqkX0W2gv4

1.  Pick Your Positives

2.  Find Ways to Improve Your Negatives

3.  Praise Yourself for Your Positives

4.  Set Yourself Achievable Goals to Improve Your Negatives

5.  Once You Achieved Your Goals Aim Higher

6.  Challenge Yourself Daily

7.  Break Down Any Goals You Fail to Achieve

8.  Try again … and again … and never give up

YouTube: https://youtu.be/YOIt0pCJJ1s

Let grace be your guide!

YouTube: https://youtu.be/2fVz5e0Iz-g

It is time we stop saying that because one is a child they will get over it.  When in fact they will not.  The abuse and/or neglect will have adverse effects on into their adulthood.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/t8y1aEbN60Y

Obsessive compulsive  disorder is a mental health disorder where the person often face two main issues: obsessions and compulsions.

OCD is mainly an anxiety disorder, while OCPD is a personality disorder.  Despite having similar symptoms, OCD and OCPD are distinct forms of mental illness that have unique and specific characteristics.

Types of OCD

CONTAMINATION

*Driven by underlying fear of germs

*Disinfecting/Sterilizing

*Excessive hand washing

PERFECTIONISM

*Driven by underlying need for things to be "right"

*Arranging things a certain way

*Superstition about the organization of objects

FORBIDDEN THOUGHTS

*Driven by unwanted/intrusive thoughts that are usually violent or sexual in nature

*Engaging in mental rituals to neutralize thoughts

*Avoidance of situations believed to be triggering

DOUBT AND HARM

*Driven by fear of unintentionally hurting someone

*Checking and rechecking locks, lights, stove, etc

*Reviewing the day to make sure no one was harmed

Here are some signs to look for:

1. Persistent nightmares and/or trouble sleeping.

2. Grades don’t match strong efforts put in.

3. Excessive worry.

4. Showing issues eating, whether it be too much or little.

5. Greatly concerned with the wellness of the caregiver.

6. Form new fears or have incapacitating phobias.

7. Overly concerned with issues beyond their years. (Bills, work, etc.)

8. Refusing to sleep or go to school.

9. Performance in school changes.

Have you been in therapy yourself before?

Have you worked with individuals like me?

How will you know we are making progress?

Can I share if something is not working for me?

*Remember your therapist works for you.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/7bhNPEqRRaQ

1.  You never know what someone else is going through because people often put on a brave face and overtime learn to hide their pain.

2.  Recovery and healing takes time, they shouldn’t be rushed.

3.  Self-care isn’t selfish but necessary to aid in recovery.

4.  You find out what makes you happy and sometimes who.

5.  You learn that many persons go through similar struggles.

6.  You realize that you must forgive yourself and others so that you do not become bitter.

7.  You learn to enjoy the little things in life and have greater appreciation.

8.  There is no need to cast judgment on others because people cope differently and respond to paint in a variety of ways.

9.  You become your true authentic self.

10.  You find out that you are stronger than you realize.

11.  You learn that your past doesn’t not define you and that you are worthy and deserving of more than what you previously accepted or allowed.

12.  You find out who your true friends are.

13.  It puts you on a path that you would never have taken or wanted to be on if it wasn’t for your personal struggle.

14.  You develop a deep appreciation for life.

15.  You understand that life goes on and it does not stop for your pain.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/08_A0h5GWLs

Every day we have a choice in how we choose to think and how we choose to respond. So make the choice to respond out of responsibility and not obligation and see the difference it makes in your life.  Make the choice today to CHOOSE.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/hbdmIDspLek

There are many persons who struggle to get out of bed in the mornings (even those not depressed).  Persons with depression have a hard time accomplishing things that others consider easy because depression drains your energy leaving you fatigued and empty.

So, how do you simply get out of bed on those very hard days?

Here are a few tips that might help on those difficult days.

YouTube: https://youtu.be/tlgflOGNnJI

Helpful Tips on Setting Social Media and Tech Boundaries 

YouTube: https://youtu.be/AVOZw-LO0vw

Of all the tips remember, be there. Just be there. Let them know you care.

A person who suffers from anxiety is not trying to be rude.  They are constantly fighting an internal battle that not everyone can understand.

Here are some tips on how to respond in an appropriate and supportive way, when someone tells you they are struggling with their depression.

Tune in to next week's follow on episode: Appropriate and Supportive Responses for Someone with Depression

When we have negative experiences in life it is likely we develop protective behaviors to shield us from potential threats.  While protective behaviors can be good in a toxic environment, they can be self-sabotaging outside of it.  They can hold you back from amazing opportunities and positive outcomes.

Your needs, values and mental health matters.  Please take care of yourself.  You are so deserving of so much more than your mind is telling you.

1.  Be happy for other people your time is coming

2.  Stop creating competitions that don’t exist

3.  Focus on things you can control

4.  Forgive yourself, often

5.  Finding peace is better than revenge

6.  Hold yourself accountable

7.  Remember what matters most

8.  You have nothing to prove let them be wrong

9.  Relax you will end up where you are supposed to be

1.  Take time away from social media

2.  Start focusing on yourself

3.  Do things you love

4.  Put your phone on airplane mode

5.  Make a bucket list of what you want to do in life

6.  Do something you have never done before

7.  Escape to nature

8.  Distance yourself from anything or anyone that makes your mental health worse

If we pay enough attention to the ones around us, we can sometimes tell if they’re not doing so well. The signs of depression are not always visible so it helps to be extremely kind to others as you can never tell the depth of a person’s pain by what you see on the outside.  A smile can in fact hide a world of pain.  Here are a few signs that might be of benefit to see if someone’s depression is setting in.

The relationship between sleep and depression is complex.  Depression not only affects a person’s ability to sleep it also negatively impacts the way the body heals and repairs itself.

The most important: IT WON’T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS.  Depression lies, it tells you that you have always felt this way, and you always will.  You have not and you will not.

1.  Important people come and go, and that’s okay.

2.  Your diet isn’t just what you eat.

3.  You have to let people down to be happy.

4.  Never let rejection lead to self-rejection.

5.  Own your responsibilities, own your future.

6.  Quality over Quantity

7.  Fairytales will make you unhappy.

8.  Fun is yours.

If you or someone you love is struggling with depression or thinking about suicide get help now.  The Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255 (TALK).

Some people are just not good for our well being.  The word toxic is more than a description it’s the truth.  The wrong people are like a poison you inject in your body.  It spreads and affects every part of your life, your mind, your body, and your soul.  It is a poison that can kill you slowly and painfully.