Real Rabbi NYC

I’m more than a little bit worried about Passover this year due to the current events in Israel and Gaza. My own family is divided in terms of political opinions over this, and there’s a fair amount of tension around it. I’m sure I’m not alone. As it is, Passover gatherings can be fraught, as any family gathering, but especially when we’re used to bringing in current events to our Seder discussions. So how DO we? And what’s it got to do with the Parsha this week (if you care). Happy Passover to everyone, and Good Shabbos.

Just listen. There’s a lot here.

This time I share a beautiful poem and some thoughts about how it might be connected to the parsha, and I ask for your thoughts on how they might be linked.

Facing death with dignity, standing up for the right to do that and to be treated with care can be one of the hardest things, especially when doctors and family and friends intervene. What does Judaism have to say about this, and how do we live our highest values?

I officiated at a memorial service this week for a man who died too young of brain cancer. There were many lessons to be learned from the way he lived and the way he chose to die. Wittingly or unwittingly, he made mistakes. This week Torah tells us how to make expiation for our wrongdoings, but really stays on the surface. I go deep with this one—as I always intend. Take a listen!

Carlton Pearson was an Evangelical preacher turned heretic for preaching that hell is a human invention—one we don’t need any help creating for ourselves. He began preaching of a loving God of inclusion. I wonder how this lesson applies to me, or to us. I wonder how we as Jews are becoming the haters we accuse others of being.

Is it possible to be too generous? To give too much? In this episode, I tell the funny and fun story of a Ukrainian Jewish/interfaith Muslim wedding ceremony I officiated recently, and ask those questions. (Please leave a blessing in the comments section after you listen—or a comment will do as well; it will help more listeners find my podcast! And thanks!)

I heard a heartbreaking yet heartening story of a family from Kibbutz Be’eri on This American Life (Family Meeting is the name of the episode, released just this week). It gave me hope that, despite the trauma and fear, we can resist giving in to the hatred and anger, and maintain our ideals for a world where we can support each other and live together peacefully—where we don’t have to give in to the false gods that are the political forces that seek to keep us trapped.

Have you seen the show Resident Alien on Netflix? It’s really funny. It’s about an alien from outer space living among humans who thinks he is far superior to us. But he learns a thing or two about what makes humans special—our compassion—which we often forget to have, especially when we’re frightened. But politics capitalises on our fear for its advantage. The question yet again is how do we keep our compassion? And doesn’t the future of our species and our planet depend on it?

I did my first funeral last week! What a difficult situation it was. But it was full of gifts as well. So is this week’s parsha.

Last week, in anticipation of a meeting with an artist who’s been in Israeli counterterrorism his entire life, I had a panic attack. How could it be God’s plan for me to work with someone so opposite to me, my experiences, my history, my worldview? What I discovered is the answer to this question. I found sapphires!

The far religious leaders of Israel in favor of settlements on Palestinian land as agreed upon in the past, had a conference this past Sunday. They’re now pushing the idea of resettling Gaza. Meanwhile, in Torah this week, the Israelites receive the Ten Commandments. How are these connected? Listen and find out!

It’s been a while. But I’m back and ready to talk about the real issues -again. Uvalde mass shooting from 2022 and the justice department’s report, plus Gaza war…they have something in common as a lesson for us connected to Torah! Listen to find out, and leave a comment if you wish. I love to hear from my listeners!

When I recently watched the show Six Feet Under from the early 2000’s, I saw many similarities in the energy, plot, and lessons to what is happening today in the world and in Israel and Gaza, and the spiritual demands of our time. Listen to find out. I love dark humor, but this got very dark. Still, I was obsessed.

I’ve been stuffing down my feelings with food—tried and NOT true way to deal with difficult things. What is the right and righteous thing to do with the Israel/Gaza situation? How does Torah reflect our struggles? What side of history will we be on?

As the moon waxes to its maximum light this month, it’s hard to find the light among the bitterness and pain of death and destruction of the past weeks in Israel and Gaza. What does my voice need to express, what is my responsibility as a person, a Jew, a rabbi, in a time when what I have to say is unpopular with my tribe? How do Sarah and Angelina Grimke as abolitionists and suffragists inspire me?

I just returned from co-officiating at two interfaith weddings, and what an experience of joy and bringing people together that don’t normally interact so much. It felt like such holy work, and gave me so much hope for the future. And then the attacks came on Israel, and it all unraveled…listen here to my incredible experiences that I want so much to share with you. Leave a comment in the comments section, go to my website and contact me. Let’s talk.

It’s the end of a year, the end of a season, and the beginning of new ones. With the end of this Jewish year, I have an announcement to make for the coming year as I go through a transition. As I open to the still, small voice, I have decided that ater three years of weekly blogging, and I’m not sure how many weekly podcasts corresponding to the Parsha, I am making space and time for other things. Listen for the full story! Until soon!

What do you do when you’re working with a Christian minister and they don’t know how it feels to hear, “Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior”? And what part of this phrase are most problematic? And why? This week, through my own struggles and this week’s double Parasha, I take you on a journey of exploration and revelation. Just in time for Rosh Hashanah!

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…this is how the Parsha reads this week—if we don’t follow God’s commandments. The same is true for the opposite: if we do, everything will be perfect, no one will get sick, etc. We tend to live that way in our modern world. We’ve been told that if we do everything right, everything will be perfect. But it’s unrealistic. As we approach Rosh Hashanah, how do we find the balance between being and doing?

How much do our expectations define outcomes? Self-fulfilling prophecies and high expectations that disappoint because we’re expecting more than can be delivered can really let us down. That means that changing expectations can make us happier. Listen for the connection to this week’s parsha. It’s a quick one.

With the Women’s soccer team losing this week, and all the flack they’ve gotten from the Right, the discourse around gender continues to be challenging, to say the least. Also, I have Covid brain at the moment, meaning my mind is muddled from actual Covid, but it’s really important to be clear when we communicate—and it’s probably the hardest thing we have to do as humans.

R’eih gives us the choice of the blessing or the curse. Whether it’s child rearing, or speaking up when sexual assault or abuse of power occur, the choices we make are never easy. We have to balance them with the society we live in and what we can manage. Here I share my personal experience of choosing unpopular ways of raising my children, and the predictions people made about their future, and offer a parallel with political things happening in the news this week. What are the spiritual lessons wrought by all of this? Shabbat shalom!

Black boys, public pools, drowning, mass incarceration, the death penalty, crusted hearts, stiff necks, and the Parsha.

This week as we commemorate the destruction of the Temple, we mourn. What are we mourning, really? We are experiencing the hottest temperatures this summer on record. What do we do about it? Will prayer bring us where we need to go? God, through Isaiah, has a lot to say about this.

With wildfires sending smoke across the globe, and heat rising to unprecedented levels, can we even escape? What can we learn from the Torah this week?

Recounting just some the magic that happened for me last week at the Kallah conference for Jewish Renewal. Am I worthy? Worth the listen!

Today I explore the idea of magic and how it shows up in the Torah, Judaism and our lives.

I watched a ridiculous Spanish series on Netflix about royalty that I couldn’t tear myself away from. What does this have to do with Korakh’s rebellion? Listen and find out.

I did a wedding on Saturday afternoon, which turned out great, but there was so much talk about what I should wear as the rabbi, it made me crazy. Blazers and trailblazers, assumptions and laws. How do we figure out what’s right while also respecting our traditions? So very complicated, yet so very simple.

I got ahead of myself in Torah last week, but I have a story that fits perfectly with next week’s Parsha, so I’m talking about it anyway. And though the smoke from wildfires of Canada sweeping into the United States feels apocalyptic, that’s not my story, but it sure feels similar after this week from hell.

A revelation came to me last week as Shavuot, the holiday of Revelation, descended upon me last week. I’m entering new territory, and not sure where it will take me, but it sure is exciting! Take a listen.

Why does it sometimes feel like when you don’t want to be counted as part of the “in” group, it’s so easy? Other times, when you do want to be counted as “in,” you’re out. Questions of inclusivity and exclusivity are so pertinent to Judaism and to the world, for the survival of all. If we don’t “get it” soon, what is the future of humanity?

What does it mean when the Torah says God will walk amongst us? How do we know if we’re doing what God wants so God will walk with us? A couple of weeks ago another young gay person committed suicide. Because he felt that his brothers were not walking with him. And I’m getting so much pushback from other rabbis for co-officiating at these weddings! Walk with me and explore what it means to walk with God—as God will do with us!

What is holiness? What is holy? Should perfection be associated with holiness, and why is it so in the Torah? This week I met with an Evangelical Christian pastor with whom I will be co-officiating at a wedding. It brought up many questions I had to answer for myself—again!

Leviticus is full rules. The one I focus on here is The Golden Rule, perhaps the hardest thing. But being kind to others, even strangers, is more important and has more of an impact than we ever imagine.

We’re in the midst of a mental health crisis due to an epidemic of loneliness. But we’re not helpless. Listen to some great ideas of small ways to help yourself and others.

Passover can be about our personal freedom and leaving the narrow place of Egypt, but the focus is really on the collective. If living a holy life is what we seek, then how do we do it? This week’s parsha tells us a little bit about that.

The hardest time leading up to Passover is the week just before—or the days. The cleaning, shopping, cooking, all have to happen in a particular order. Once leavened products are out of your house, you still can’t eat matzoh. So much liminal time—the difficulty of waiting. This is what the priests go through before ordination: waiting for seven days in a doorway. As we struggle as a world, with all the bad news coming from Israel and our country, too, we are in a liminal space, not crossing over into better times yet, and we wonder how much longer we can wait: how much worse can it get? What does it mean to be priests in our time?

In this week’s episode, I explore the question of sacrifice, respect, and how we can approach a crumbling world that feels too overwhelming to have an impact.

Here I discuss the special pressure on women to look a certain way, how social media has blurred the lines between private and professional life, and how difficult it is to navigate this as I step fully into being an older, female rabbi. And what this has to do with this week’s Torah reading.

My phone fell into a New York City compost bin, totally derailing plans for the day. I was forced to check my faith that day. The Israelites, Moses, God—all had their faith challenged. It’s a funny story, but also serious because if we’re cynical, how can we bring about positive change in the world?

Is cleaning out messy drawers a waste of time, or does it have some deeper spiritual meaning? That’s what I explore in this week’s episode in relation to the Parsha with its pomegranates and bells.

There is so much despair in the world today, and younger generations are as hopeless as they come about the future. But what do they need from us, and how can the Torah guide us here to live from a more heart-cantered place, to not become disheartened ourselves, so we can support them?

I have things sprouting, blooming, growing all over my apartment—not mold! Although I’m sure there’s some of that as well. How do we decide whether to take the mandate, “We will do and we will hear” literally or not? That’s where I am this week as I reflect on my recent ordination and all the craziness in the world that calls for immediate action.

Buddhist psychotherapist Bruce Tift says we use the excuse of our wounds to avoid showing up in our lives. I posit that the Israelites do the same. They miss out on an incredible opportunity. Listen for some wisdom—and revelation!

In life, we go from ecstasy to complaint and back again. It’s not a straight journey. So too with the Israelites. We need song and celebration to give us strength, but these are complex, reflecting the complexity of our hearts.

Don’t we all suffer from imposter syndrome to some extent? Moses, and even God, does. Is it self-sabotage when God repeatedly hardens Pharaohs heart? Or is there a more subtle message and meaning behind it?

I’m just landing from my trip and the high of being ordained, and it’s hard to integrate all of it, and so easy to fall back into old patterns. It’s hard to learn to listen to the body in order to prevent a crash. This is when illness descends. We’ve all been there. Va-era is about difficulty speaking and difficulty hearing. It’s about how we shut down due to trauma. And it has some hints about how to overcome it.

I’m officially a rabbi now! And I really like keeping things real, as hard as these truths are to say. It’s how I was brought up, and it remains a big part of my values. You can hear my ordination speech here, and how it relates to the week’s parsha.