LISTCAST
By LISTCAST
LISTCASTSep 27, 2019
Very Special Listcast: OLD
It's been a LONG TIME ("Old" reference) but Listcast is back with a deep dive, movie-ly speaking. After a quick List, the Sweens unroll the most recent cinematic nightmare from the man, the myth, the legend: M. Night Shyamalan! Join us, Asian Guy, British Doctor, and Mid-Sized Sedan in a VERY not mid-sized (it's long) film review ep o' t'Cast. Oh, and Shams? If you're out there? We're available for script-doctoring anytime xx: valmemes69@gmail.com
Holiday Films by Domestic Box Office
Itty-bitty-nitty-gritty Guessy Boisss get a lil' help on the first LISTCAST with a special guest! Rob Sweeney's ma Rob Sweeney joins Rob Sweeney and Bob Beany and huddle up under the mistletoe to talk Christmas movies. What holiday flicks did US film-goers get up off their eggnog-plumped butts to see? Find out in this snowglobe of an episode: only a-holes don't listen to LISTCAST and only a-holes don't believe in Santa. #theclausisreal #freetheelves
Most Expensive Wedding Costs
In this ever-so-slightly-condensed episode of LISTCAST, the Guessy Boiz say an emphatic "I do!" to a single round of The Greatest Game Ever Played [Besides Balderdash, Which Is Really A Truly Good Time For The Whole Family, Who Knew?]. Walk down the aisle with the Gamemaster as she helps the Boiz run down the bullshit that costs the most for that grand day of nuptials and SHEW-WEE are some of these prices sky-high. Hey, everyone? You don't have to have a wedding! And if you do, you don't have to do all the shit! Love is free and don't let BRIDES MAGAZINE tell you otherwise.
Slave-Owning Presidents & Top Eddie Murphy "Films"
Bob Beanies (née Rob Sweenies) kickoff the second season(?) of LISTCAST with a should-be-more-reverent bow to BLM. First up: of all the Presidential pieces of shit, which were the biggest? That's right—we're calling out POTUSes with the most slaves. On the flip side, the Guessey Bois put their Murphy Scholar titles to the test while running down the top box office hits from Eddie himself. Looking to contribute to the cause on the real? Find local mutual aid funds here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Fw6ru83MuRaerWTCyPPjbcwIhXaXIqy_SbE_8bAyB2M/edit#gid=439722286and here: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/collective-care/; a broader list of organizations accepting donations related to Black Lives Matter here: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-for-black-lives-matter.html. Stay strong, power to the people, find joy, and keep up the fight. #HonkIfYou'reBlack
Holiday Conceptions & Highest Grossing Romantic Comedies
Snuggle up with the one you love (and/or bone) most: The Three Sweens reunite and get a little raunchy in this V-Day themed LISTCAST! Guess Boys celebrate the holidays most likely to result in getting knocked up and stumble through romcom box office numbers. Mouth noises, sniffling, throat-clearing, lip-smacking, weird clicking, chick-chirping and other not-at-all annoying sounds abound in the best audio quality ep yet. Listeners looking for more on the list we didn't hit? Wade through the PornHub 2019 data insight wankery (heh) at https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2019-year-in-review. Inbox is always open at valmemes69@gmail.com for requests or, if you like, just a little casual chat.
Best Selling Rappers & Most Popular High School Mascots
Break out the boomboxes! The Little Baby Guessy Boiz spit SUPA HOT FIRE into the mic while running down the rappers who have successfully slung the most albums and uncovering which high school mascots are most numerous--and most offensive. And dumbest. Turns out high school mascots kind of suck. Anyway! These sweenfactors prove themselves true killers on the field of this week's LISTCAST. [CW: racial slurs]
Heaviest Land Mammals & Tallest US Presidents
Hogs of all colors and sizes are welcome in this BIG GIRLS edition of the Listcast! (Shoutout to OG Big Girl Oshine.) The Guessy Boiz run down the animals on this here earth that weigh the most and weigh the heights of American Commanders in Chief. Presidential penile prognostication inside, folks; send your own POTUS pecker fanfiction to valmemes69@gmail.com. [CW: references to sexual assault]
Most Successful WWE Stars & Top Instagrammed Global Locations
HEYYY LITTLE BROTHERS: hop into the ring with the Guess Boiz as they wrestle with the most loaded ($$$wise) stars of the WWE and trace the path of places that influencers love most. The Sweens firmly establish themselves #selfie super finishers in this week's A-show LISTCAST.
Best Selling Chocolate Candies & M. Night Shyamalan Box Office
Little Baby Guessy Boiz chew over which chocolates Americans buy most of all and twist and turn in the spooky waters of M. Night's greatest directorial hits. PS: The "M" stands for "Manoj" #themoreyouknow
Causes of Injury Deaths in Florida & Burglary Rate by State
The Sweens go dark as they mull over accident deaths in the penis of America (cf. 30 Rock) and where major thefts are going down 'round the country. Hide yr kids, hide yr wife: they're sweenin' everybody out here.
World's Largest Fast Food Chains & Most Common US Street Names
Sween and Sweeney jump into junk food 'round the globe and road nomenclature closer to home as Sweeney and Sweenmaster find comfort in Dubonnet and bourbon in a very special hurricane-dodging edition of LISTCAST.
lil' listcast: smallest european nations
Alcohol Consumption by State & Total Olympic Medals by Country
