Look Good for the Boys

Everyone is busy making their lists and checking them twice, but Andy and Philip are more concerned with the movies that might not even be on Santa’s radar. So, we’re spending our Christmas with some misfit films that deserve extra holiday cheer - Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013), Mrs. Claus (2018), and Santa Isn’t Real (2023).

Not everyone has a place to go this season, so Andy and Philip are inviting the sisters of Mu Kappa Epsilon for an orphan holiday dinner. Let’s put down those petitions and don our most empowering Santa costumes as we (try) to say only nice things to a movie that has its share of haters: Black Christmas (2019).

Philip and Andy whip up some morgue nog and get set to have a Messy Christmas by loudly telling anyone who will listen that they were wrong about Glen Morgan and James Wong's misunderstood 2006 remake of a holiday horror classic.

Concluding this year’s family therapy sessions, Andy and Philip head to the midway to talk to the chosen-family-within-a-chosen-family of circus sideshow performers in Tod Browning’s cult classic Freaks.

We're back a little early with a black friday surprise befitting this sickly comforting and low-key evil holiday where Andy and Philip work hard to set aside their grievances, and try to find some gratitude for the little things in the holiday movie that was given, but not chosen: Thanksgiving (2023).

Thanksgiving - a holiday stuffed with toxicity, violence, anxieties, and delicious food - and with those traditions in mind, Andy and Philip pile their plates a little too high by trying to provide therapy to the Simmons family of Blood Rage(1987). We definitely have our work cut out for us as we attempt to chew through this feast of generation trauma, complete meltdowns, gleeful psychopathy, and definitely not cranberry sauce.

It’s that time of year again where many of us feel an obligation to spend time with people we never chose to be around, AKA our families, so Andy and Philip want to soften the holiday season by providing some much needed counseling to horror families in need. First up, we sit down with the Le Domas family of Ready or Not (2019), to encourage some honest communication about the trauma of growing up in a household that has an inconvenient pact with Satan.

It’s been 35 years since Angela’s infamous Halloween party at Hull House, but that doesn’t mean Andy and Philip are done dishing about it. In fact, we have so much hot gossip that we had to ensnare some guests to sort through it all. Erin from Manic Movie Monday helps us rank all the hot victims, while Greg from Fright Court brings his discerning eye to our costume runway, and finally we re-form our party planning committee for some seriously needed party rescue. So sit back, and relax, because we just wanna look good for the boys!

Andy and Philip bring Saw-toberfest to a close by passing judgement on the newest film in the franchise, Saw X, and finally putting the man behind the pig mask himself, John Kramer, to the test. With an impressive inventory of traps leftover from all the people we have freed, surely we can find a game befitting the petty and vengeful Jigsaw and his angry horde of acolytes.

It’s been four movies since the pompous “not-a-murderer” murderer, John Kramer, left this world worse than he found it. Yet, somehow we have more Jigsaws than ever! So, us Judys have our hands tied (up) with all the Jigsaw judging that needs to be done. This week is gonna be like pulling teeth or ripping out tongues as Andy and Philip laser cut our way through Saw 3D: The Final Chapter, Jigsaw, and Spiral: From the Book of Saw.

The whiny fascist known as Jigsaw may not be with us anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s done punishing people for their supposed crimes in the form of “games” that are anything but. Due to a severe lack of oversight, Judge (Judys) Andy and Philip take it upon themselves to add some checks and balances to the Jigsaw Judicial System, this time with Saw 4, 5, and 6.

Cranky libertarian boomer Jigsaw likes to spend his time judging others for their perceived “crimes”. So, Andy and Philip - a couple of regular Judys - are kicking off Saw-toberfest by bringing the gavel down on the man behind the pig mask. Will John finally learn to appreciate the lives of others as much as his own? Or is it game over for Mr. Kramer?

Everybody out of the water! Andy and Philip are done with the beach and heading to the mountains, the Outback, and a country club for an end-of-summer throuple party of non-aquatic Jaws-alikes. Don't stray from the path because this week is full of bears, boars, and blades (oh my), as we finish off season five with Grizzly (1976), Razorback (1984), and ... well... Blades (1989).

Andy and Philip take shark week one chomp further by celebrating the genetically modified versions of nature’s oldest killing machines. So, let’s all go for a swim with some hyper-intelligent makos and bull sharks, irresponsible scientists, and dubiously named pharmaceutical companies as we dive into the Deep Blue Sea(s).

It’s our party and we’ll DIE if we want to! It’s that time of year again (and again and again) and Philip and Andy are celebrating their birthday week with a journey of death and self-discovery through the time loops, alternate dimensions, and bi erasure of Happy Death Day and Happy Death Day 2 U

For some reason, summer camps don’t seem to thrive in a horror environment, so Andy and Philip are attempting to help revitalize those that have been tarnished by a bloodied past and face a grim future starting with: Camp Rolling Hills of Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) and Camp New Horizons of Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989).

It’s the final week of pride month and we’re taking one last look at the cultures and creatures of horror’s gay granddad, James Whale. Join Philip and Andy as they advance the gay agenda a little further before pulling the sheet off Whale’s singular and outrageous gothic masterpiece, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). To a New World of Gays and Monsters!

Deep in our Pride Reign of Terror, Philip and Andy continue their naked bike ride through the horror filmography of Legendary (and Gay) Filmmaker James Whale. Categories are: toxic obsession, small town close-mindedness, silly little policemen, crime spree drag, and what it means to be seen when we take a good queer look at “The Invisible Man” (air-quotes not ours).

Andy and Philip continue their pride month celebration of OG horror daddy James Whale with a spotlight on his often eclipsed horror comedy masterpiece: The Old Dark House (1932). We take shelter with the Femme family in their crumbling abode - once teeming with laughter and sin, but now drenched in repression and anxiety - to see what secrets might be hiding in their closets (or attic)…and to hopefully have a potato.

Andy and Philip are spending pride month celebrating horror daddy and gay icon James Whale by examining his four horror films with a modern queer lens, starting with the OG scientist playing god to create the perfect boyfr- *ahem* man in Frankenstein (1931).

In anticipation of a new Boogeyman movie on the way, Andy and Philip revisit the totally unrelated and largely forgotten 2000’s trilogy and force ourselves to say only nice things about them. But by checking our mean girl attitudes at the door, we might find that the boogeymen we really wanted were the boogeymen that we had all along.

We’re coming… we’re coming… we’re HERE! We’re as hot as a tanning bed fire and as bothered as a passenger just trying to fly to Paris. We’ve escaped death’s design long enough to kick off season 5 with a new installment of our Hot or Not Alive series. Look for the signs and proceed with caution because Andy and Philip are ranking the victims of the The Final Destination franchise.

A new Scream movie means new rankings for “Hot or Not…Alive” and “Best Ghostface” …or does it? Find out as Andy and Philip get their Scream VI booster.

After a final couple rounds of the Horror Dating Game, Andy and Philip attempt to break the curse of the “episode where we respond to our listeners’ questions” that has plagued us since last summer by NOT calling the episode by its proper name and simply responding to our listener’s questions.

After some more horror match-making with The Dating Game, Andy and Philip try to help Julia from Hellraiser (1987) decide if she should attempt to solve her sweaty, aggressive side-puzzle-piece or stay hooked to the the ol’ box and chains.

Andy and Philip continue providing match-making services to horror villains with The Dating Game (AKA The Super Bowl of Self Abuse) before putting our brains together (and hopefully kept inside our heads) to counsel Julie and Curt from Return of the Living Dead 3.

Andy and Philip help some horror villains find love with The Dating Game (AKA The Super Bowl of Self Abuse) before an intense counseling session with the couples of Infinity Pool to determine if they have a chance or if we’re heading to divorce court.

Andy and Philip finish their 2022 coverage with awards and accolades for the best (and sometimes worst) of the year, covering victims, monsters, survivors, kills, couples, and more.

It was a busy year for horror, so it’s gonna take Andy and Philip a little time to sort through the good, the bad, and the oppressively mediocre. This episode, we start by naming our F**ks, Marry's, and Kills of the year.

This week, Andy and Philip provide family therapy to the chosen family of the Nightbreed in the hopes of helping them work through their conflicts…which happens to be mostly with an unaccepting and oppressive society.

Continuing in the spirit of the holidays, Andy and Philip offer their therapy skills on another family in need: The Merrye’s (and the Howe’s) of 1967’s Spider Baby. Fortunately, if therapy doesn’t work, there’s always a suitcase of dynamite as plan B.

Continuing our preparation for a long holiday season, Andy and Philip take their “therapy skills” to a family in need of a few more hugs, some direct communication, and a tad less plotting to kill each other: The Davison’s from You’re Next (2011).

With the holidays looming over us, Andy and Philip decide to take a little time to help prepare some of the more…functionally impaired families for the stress ahead. Today, we attempt to keep Hereditary's the Grahams from losing their heads with some intensive family therapy.

Philip and Andy give their take on all the horror films unleashed on us over the past few months, including: Nope, Smile, Hellraiser, Barbarian, Pearl, Terrifier 2, Deadstream, and V/H/S 99…but definitely NOT Halloween Ends.

Philip and Andy take on the unenviable task of queering up a couple of films in dire need of lifestyle makeovers: cult-bro Eli Roth’s aggressively hetero offerings, Cabin Fever (2002) and Hostel (2005)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Andy and Philip are celebrating the holiday and the franchise by throwing a party, and we have all kinds of games planned like: Hot or Not Alive Top 10, Best Couples, Sexiest Nurses, and Halloween film rankings. We also force ourselves to say something nice about the least popular of the group, and discuss where we think the franchise will go next.

The Psycho (Philip) and The Freakshow (Andy) have finally reached the last three tootsie rolls at the bottom of the pumpkin pail. Love lives today as we rank the hotness of the victims of the David Gordon Green trilogy: Halloween (2018), Halloween Kills, and Halloween Ends (sure). SPOILER WARNING for all three films.

Andy and Philip pass the halfway point of their Halloween marathon of ranking all the victims by hotness, covering Halloween: H20, Halloween: Resurrection, Halloween (2007), and Halloween 2 (2009).

Andy and Philip continue celebrating October by carving through the Halloween franchise and ranking all the victims by hotness, this time with the Jamie Lloyd saga, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers, and Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

It’s October, so of course Andy and Philip are starting season four by officially ranking the hotness of all the victims of the Halloween franchise. It’s going to take us all month to carve this pumpkin, and today we’re slicing through the first three films: Halloween (1979), Halloween II (1981), and Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982).

Andy and Philip close out the Summer of the Wolf (and season 3) by tearing through the final four Howling movies so that you don’t have to.

It’s the Summer of the Wolf, and Andy and Philip are celebrating by devouring The Howling franchise. This episode, we chew through the first four films, salivating over all the hot werewolves, examining their mating rituals, and playing matchmaker to the complicated were-relationships.

Andy and Philip celebrate their shared birth week by inviting you to a party of 1981 birthday-themed horror with a triple feature of: Happy Birthday to Me, Bloody Birthday, and Alison’s Birthday.

Sharks seem to get all the attention, but there are plenty of killer fish (and non-fish) in the sea (or river). So, Andy and Philip venture from the arctic waters off northeast Canada, down the coast of Florida, and all the way upriver in Texas to shine a spotlight on the less privileged aquatic horrors with: Orca (1977), Piranha (1978), and Barracuda (1978).

Andy and Philip head into deep water to get close to nature’s most feared predator. But instead of hunting sharks, we want to defend these misunderstood and maligned creatures. More specifically, we want to defend the misunderstood and maligned Jaws sequels: Jaws 2 (1978), Jaws 3-D (1983), and Jaws: The Revenge (1987).

Andy and Philip ask the timeless question, "Wanna French?" as we take our pride celebration to the La République Française for a sexy and deadly vacation filled with beach cruising, bloody murder, self-destructive protagonists, and plenty of full-frontal male nudity with a Franco-erotic horror/thriller double feature: Stranger by the Lake (2013) and Knife + Heart (2018)

We’re continuing our pride coverage with some killer gay night life: from the lethal drag shows of Providence to the bloody WeHo Halloween Carnival, Andy and Philip go coast to coast celebrating the slashers that celebrate us: Hellbent (2004) and Death Drop Gorgeous (2021).

This pride month, three is definitely not a crowd for Andy and Philip as they discuss their favorite non-traditional horror relationship: the throuple. Very specifically, they focus on the horror throuples of non-summer-camp, camping slashers with: Don’t Go in the Woods and Memorial Valley Massacre.

Andy and Philip take a moment to look back on their first year of Look Good for the Boys, reminiscing about the things that were, that could have been, that shouldn’t have been, and those left on the proverbial cutting room floor.

Andy and Philip “ascend” their vertical stack of low-budget, direct-to-video movies, taking on the bottom of the bargain bin so that you don’t have to. This time, we travel back to 1996 for a double feature of unlikeable protagonists with Rob Lowe in Living in Peril and Robert Patrick in Asylum.