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Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

By Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

Love & Life is your place for conversations grounded in psych research, psychotherapy, and Biblical truth to help you THRIVE in love and life! Join psychologist Karin Anderson Abrell, Ph.D. and pastor and psychotherapist Elliott Anderson, M.A., as they focus on relationships and how to flourish therein with a holistic approach to emotional and psychological well-being, recognizing we only thrive when we nourish each of these key domains—Mind, Body, and Spirit. Together they bring over 60 years of counseling experience and academic expertise to each podcast discussion and interview.
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Currently playing episode

Bad Childhood, Great Life! with Brunnie Getchell, LMHC Ep. 130

Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor ElliottMar 02, 2021

00:00
45:40
COVID Trauma: How to Move Through Post COVID Stress Disorder Ep. 294

COVID Trauma: How to Move Through Post COVID Stress Disorder Ep. 294

Mar 28, 202436:40
How to Navigate Money & Power Dynamics Ep. 293
Mar 21, 202441:28
How Conflict Cultivates Intimacy Ep. 292
Mar 14, 202439:34
Is Your Relationship Out of Order? Ep. 291
Mar 07, 202447:42
Is Love Enough? Ep. 290
Feb 29, 202446:11
"That’s Awkward!" The Power of Words and Labels on Your Relationship to Self and Others Ep. 289

"That’s Awkward!" The Power of Words and Labels on Your Relationship to Self and Others Ep. 289

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I

I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues to shut him down with dismissive phrases like, “Okay . . . ” and “All right . . .” It’s a funny sketch that reveals a great deal about our current social environment. The terms and phrases we use are powerful—they reflect current norms while also framing how we experience our interactions and relationships. Meaning, when we perceive common day-to-day conversations as “awkward,” we respond accordingly i.e. we tell ourselves to be uncomfortable and hence increase the likelihood we’ll feel anxious. Think about it. We could just as easily label common day-to-day conversations as “normal—maybe surprising, maybe confusing, but normal” and thereby respond in kind. Elliott and I discuss the psychological implications of using common phrases—like, “That’s awkward” and, “I have anxiety about that!”—and how these impact our emotional wellbeing. 

Specifically, we consider:

  • The societal norms which make the clip funny.
  • How labeling a situation informs our emotional response.
  • The harm of labeling ourselves in a fixed, immutable manner e.g., “I have anxiety.”
  • The influence of constant phone usage on our friendships, psychological health, and humanity in general.
  • How to decrease disempowered self-talk and replace it with empowered self-talk.

Join us as we examine what’s really going on behind phrases like, “That’s awkward!” and “I have anxiety!”

Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Feb 27, 202438:22
What if Your Relationship Isn’t Easy at All? Then What? Ep. 288
Feb 22, 202437:26
Can Relationships Actually Be Easy? Ep. 287

Can Relationships Actually Be Easy? Ep. 287

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again.


We’re all at different places in our love journey.


As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following: 

  • Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle?
  • Do they have to be SO hard?
  • Could marriage actually be easy?


Since it was Tim’s idea, I asked him to share his thoughts and experience with the topic. 


Specifically, we delve into the following:

  • What makes a relationship easy?
  • Do opposites attract and if so, won’t this eventually lead to strife?
  • If we marry someone similar to us, won’t things get boring?
  • How do conflict styles factor in?
  • What role does attachment style play in terms of relationship ease?


We then take a look at the psych research, of course!


We also weave in clips from a song I wrote for Dan called Breathing—“It’s like breathing, so easy, loving you couldn’t come more naturally, it’s like breathing.”


You can listen to Breathing on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/track/5M6UjeGH1dyNPs05CPRpeN?si=19f3d9b189bc4341 


Happy Valentine’s Day from Love & Life!


Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson


Sources:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/truth-expectations-relationships/

Feb 14, 202433:55
Trauma: How it Impacts Our Relationship to Self and Others Ep. 286

Trauma: How it Impacts Our Relationship to Self and Others Ep. 286

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church.


  • How do we define trauma?
  • What experiences leave a trauma wound?
  • How do these wounds impact our relationships?
  • What does the Bible have to say about trauma?
  • Is there hope for healing?
  • If so, how do we heal?


We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps you never fought in a war zone or were the victim of a violent attack, but we all recently endured a global pandemic and, as Elliott explains, COVID response measures certainly traumatized us individually and collectively.


Join us for a word of hope and strategies for healing!


P.S. Elliott wanted us to include the hymn I sang at the end of the service. 🙏 


Sponsor The Wellness Company 

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ 

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! 


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson 

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ 

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook 

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson


Feb 09, 202446:56
Let's Talk About It: Almost 25% of American Women are Depressed! Why? Ep. 285

Let's Talk About It: Almost 25% of American Women are Depressed! Why? Ep. 285

As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering.


What’s going on? What’s to be done?


In this latest episode of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women.


Specifically, we consider:

  • How depression is conceptualized. 
  • The evidence that debunks the “chemical imbalance” explanation.
  • Why antidepressants don’t work.
  • Lifestyle factors that contribute to depression. Spoiler alert:  pretty much everything in the standard American lifestyle contributes to it!
  • Research based strategies to liberate us from the clutches of depression!


Join us to learn how to break free from the grip of depression!


N.B. Please DO NOT quit taking antidepressants without the consultation and guidance of a professional trained in how to taper off SSRIs safely. Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome can result when abruptly terminating SSRIs.


This conversation does not prescribe medical or psychological advice and should not be taken as such.  


Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!


Miriam Conner

Podcast: ⁠aParently Speaking⁠

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aParentlySpeakingPodcast/


Dr. Karin 

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Instagram: @dr.karin 


Sources:

Our conversation was based on Dr. Joseph Mercola’s article, “Gross Misconduct—The Final Nail in the Coffin for Antidepressants.” 


Mercola, J. (2024, January 29). Gross misconduct—The final nail in the coffin for antidepressants. Substack. 


Moncrieff, J., Cooper, R.E., Stockmann, T. et al. (2023). The serotonin theory of depression: A systematic umbrella review of the evidence. Molecular Psychiatry 28, 3243–3256. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-022-01661-0


https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/09/the-stard-scandal-scientific-misconduct-on-a-grand-scale/

Feb 06, 202436:23
Let’s Talk About It! All the Hot Takes We’re Not Supposed to Touch Ep. 282
Feb 06, 202434:45
Do THIS When You’re Engaged to Establish a Strong, Healthy Marriage Ep. 284
Feb 01, 202435:55
5 Key Patterns for Your Engagement to Ensure a Healthy, Fulfilling Marriage Ep. 283
Jan 25, 202438:31
We’re Engaged! But, Should We Actually Get Married? Part 2 Ep. 281

We’re Engaged! But, Should We Actually Get Married? Part 2 Ep. 281

Building a strong marriage starts long before the wedding day and with 30+ years of working with couples, Elliott has plenty of solid advice for anyone newly engaged or contemplating engagement!


But, first things first—it’s thrilling to accept a proposal and begin wedding planning, but we need to be sure we’re doing all this with the right person for us!


Too often, premarital counseling focuses on household chores and budget, extended family relationships, etc. And yes, these are important, of course. 


But, all these will be exponentially more difficult to manage if you marry the wrong person in the first place.


As a former runaway bride, I see engagement a little differently. I know what it’s like to try to make it work with someone who wasn’t the best fit for me. 


It was a good relationship. But, is “good enough” good enough? 


I remember being so confused throughout my first engagement. I looked all over for resources to help me sort through my conflicting emotions.


A conversation like this one would have helped me tremendously!


Elliott and I provide 4 aspects to consider as you ascertain whether your wedding jitters are just nervous energy or, if your cold feet are trying to tell you something you may not be currently willing to acknowledge to yourself and others.


Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jan 16, 202429:41
We’re Engaged! But, Should we Actually Get Married? Part 1 Ep. 280
Jan 11, 202430:38
Family Roles Part II: Which Role Do You Play? Ep. 278
Jan 08, 202437:38
Family Roles: How They Impact Us During the Holidays—and Beyond! Ep. 277
Jan 08, 202437:08
Three’s a Crowd: How Triangulation Destroys Healthy Relationships Ep. 274
Jan 08, 202448:27
Mind, Body, Spirit: Reflections on 2023 and Intentions for 2024 Ep. 279
Dec 29, 202338:34
Family Rules: Should You Follow Them Now That You’re an Adult? Ep. 276
Dec 14, 202334:42
The Pure Fat Loss Challenge with Justin Savich Ep. 275
Dec 11, 202348:40
Should You Cut Off Your Toxic Family? Individuate in a Healthy Manner to Improve Every Relationship in Your Life! Ep. 273
Nov 30, 202348:19
Got Boundaries?  Why They’re Necessary for Holiday Family Gatherings Ep. 272

Got Boundaries?  Why They’re Necessary for Holiday Family Gatherings Ep. 272

Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart.


Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama.


In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family members—even those who pry into your business with questions like:

  • “Are you seeing anyone special?”
  • “When are two going to make me a grandma?”
  • “You’re not voting for _____________ next year, are you???”

We provide examples of how to:

  • respond to invasive interrogation you don’t care to address. 
  • remain committed to your values and principles without alienating family members whose beliefs differ from yours.
  • mindfully move through difficult conversations. 


Join us for a timely conversation designed to prepare you for upcoming family gatherings. Spoiler alert: you CAN maintain boundaries while growing closer!


Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Black Friday/Cyber Monday: TWC sale begins on Friday 11/24 through Monday 11/27 end of day!

Sale Details:

25% OFF Supplements

20% OFF Monthly Memberships

15% OFF Emergency & Covid Kits (USA RESIDENTS ONLY)


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Nov 22, 202343:48
3 Ways to Avoid Family Drama Over the Holidays! Ep. 271
Nov 17, 202321:55
Money, Values, & Love: “Dear Fellow Spender” with Emily Burnett Ep. 270

Money, Values, & Love: “Dear Fellow Spender” with Emily Burnett Ep. 270

In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well.


Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save!


Emily Burnett can relate. She’s a self-proclaimed “money mess” and “budget loather” who was thousands of dollars in debt. But then, she dramatically changed her relationship with money and found freedom in fiscal responsibility! 

She shares her journey in her new book, Dear Fellow Spender:  Enjoy Using Your Money to Get Out of Debt, Build Savings, and Create a Life You Love. 


And no, we don’t need to have our finances completely sorted out in order to have healthy partnerships, but we do need to have an understanding of our relationship with money—because, research shows it’s a factor that greatly influences marriages.


Elliott and I have often discussed the reality that conflict about finances always ranks very high as a factor in why couples get divorced.


Our spending habits reflect our values—and you know we’re all about values on Love & Life!


So whether you stick to a firm budget or you’re a “money mess” as Emily used to be, we welcome you to this conversation about money, love, and values with Emily Burnett of Moso Money.


Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!


Emily Burnett

Website: https://www.mosomoney.com/ 

Dear Fellow Spender: https://www.mosomoney.com/book 


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson


Citations:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/

Papp L., Cummings, E., Goeke-Morey, M. (2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58(1), 91-103.

Nov 09, 202348:16
3 Ways NOT to Stray Ep. 269

3 Ways NOT to Stray Ep. 269

I asked Elliott the other day, “We’ve been talking about cheating and recovery, but what can we do to try to prevent affairs from happening in the first place?”


And yes, healing is possible and, as Elliott continues to stress, we may even find deeper intimacy after infidelity. But of course, wouldn’t we prefer to grow closer to our spouse without going through a marital breakdown?


In this conversation, we present 3 strategies for keeping your marriage solid and connected! We can’t control our partner, but we CAN take steps ourselves to strengthen our bond and increase the likelihood of remaining faithful to each other.


Elliott and I share examples of what we do personally to keep the fire burning (REO reference for our fellow GenXers 🙂) in our marriages–along with research and Elliott’s clinical expertise gleaned from over 30 years of working with couples.


We leave you with 3 practical, actionable steps to take today to help you NOT to stray!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Nov 02, 202341:30
Cheating: What's the First Step Towards Healing? Ep. 268

Cheating: What's the First Step Towards Healing? Ep. 268

After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process.


Specifically, we address:

  • What's the first step in the healing process?
  • How to navigate forgiveness and grief
  • What to do if children are involved
  • What rebuilding trust looks like after betrayal

Join us for this third segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Oct 28, 202338:35
Is Watching Porn Cheating? Ep. 267

Is Watching Porn Cheating? Ep. 267

After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns.


Specifically, we address:

  • What exactly is cheating?
  • Is flirting too much a violation?
  • What about porn?
  • Connecting with an old flame on Facebook?
  • Close friendships with coworkers?
  • What are the first steps to take if one of us has broken our vows?
  • Can we ever rebuild trust?
  • What if the betrayer won’t acknowledge the indiscretion?
  • How can we ever forgive?
  • When is separation necessary?
  • What can we do when we’re single to prepare ourselves for a strong marriage—one in which neither partner is likely to stray?
  • Spoiler alert: there’s actually a LOT we can do when we’re single to set ourselves up for an affair-proof future marriage!


Join us for this second segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Oct 19, 202332:35
Let’s Talk About It: What’s the Big Deal About Masks? Ep. 266

Let’s Talk About It: What’s the Big Deal About Masks? Ep. 266

Just Wear the Mask.  It’s Not a Big Deal! Or, is It? A Developmental Psychologist’s Concerns Regarding Masks on Children—and All of Us!


We’re bringing you another segment of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series. 


These are topics that can be hard to broach and in some cases, conversations around these issues have been censored—either by social media platforms, or by social agreement—because,”Let’s not talk about it. We’ll just get into a fight.” 


But avoiding subjects to preserve harmony doesn’t foster true intimacy—and because Elliott and I are all about deep, meaningful, intimate relationships, we’re going to speak honestly about those issues which are most important to us. 


Today’s “Love and Life:  Let’s Talk About It!” topic? Masks.


Over the past several years of the pandemic, masks have become an insanely contentious topic. The debate has waged for 3, almost 4 years now, so I’m sure you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind. 


I just want to bring up some relevant factors that I’ve rarely heard expressed in the debate.


I’m approaching this from my vantage point as a developmental psychologist because there are several theories I learned about in my grad work which have implications for masks on children—and on all of us!


Join us to learn the research suggesting masking IS a big deal. Children have suffered and research shows there may be lasting effects to this experiment we all entered in by covering our faces over the last several years.


Citations

COVID rules are blamed for 23% dive in young children's development: Disturbing study shows scores in three key cognitive tests slumped between 2018 and 2021, with face mask rules among possible culprits

https://www.dailymail.co.

uk/news/article-10247315/Face-masks-harm-childrens-development-Study-blames-significantly-reduced-development.html


Early maternal mirroring predicts infant motor system activation during facial expression observation

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-12097-w


Early origins of mental disorder - risk factors in the perinatal and infant period

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-016-0982-7


EQ vs. IQ Which is Most Important in the Success or Failure of a Student?

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042812021477?ref=pdf_download&fr=RR-2&rr=813ff5c13d7c140a 


Imitation in Infancy: A Critical Review

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0065240708604176


The Mask of Ignorance

https://www.city-journal.org/article/the-mask-of-ignorance


Mothers with a mask or… the still-face experiment?

https://eipmh.com/mothers-with-mask-or-the-still-face-experiment/


Possible toxicity of chronic carbon dioxide exposure associated with face mask use, particularly in pregnant women, children and adolescents – A scoping review

https://www.cell.com/heliyon/pdf/S2405-8440(23)01324-5.pdf


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Oct 12, 202341:44
Cheating: 4 Types of Affairs and 3 Reasons They Happen Ep. 265

Cheating: 4 Types of Affairs and 3 Reasons They Happen Ep. 265

No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day expecting to cheat on their spouse. But sadly, it happens all too often. 


What happens? Why do couples stray?


Elliott and I discuss 4 types of affairs (Pittman) and 3 reasons why they happen (Balswick & Balswick). 


Join us for part 1 in our series on infidelity. Learn how to protect your marriage from an affair and/or recover from the pain if infidelity has already occurred. 


Citation:

https://hackspirit.com/infidelity-statistics/


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Sep 29, 202341:15
Eat Better to Feel Better! Eliminate the Hateful 8 with Dr. Cate Shanahan, Part 2 Ep. 264

Eat Better to Feel Better! Eliminate the Hateful 8 with Dr. Cate Shanahan, Part 2 Ep. 264

We’ve all heard it a million times—you are what you eat. And, of course it’s true—every cell in our body relies on and is sustained by the nutrients we ingest. So on a physical level, this reality is obvious. 

But, the more research I do, the more I realize how much this adage—you are what you eat—pertains to our mental health as well. 

In some ways, I think about all the work I’ve done as a psychologist—as many of you know, I’ve found so much power in cognitive techniques. When we take charge of our thoughts, we take charge of our lives—and, I absolutely stand by cognitive strategies. More importantly though, research substantiates the effectiveness of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), as we’ve discussed in many episodes of Love & Life. 

That being said, how much easier is it for us to take charge of our thoughts if we’re fueling our bodies in a way that supports our thinking and emotions?

That’s why Elliott and I focus on MIND and BODY and SPIRIT.

Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Cate Shanahan. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to the beginning of our interview, be sure to check out episode 263.

Dr. Cate describes why industrial seed oils are one of the worst—if not the absolute worst—substances we can put in our bodies. And of course, because our physical wellbeing and mental wellbeing are inextricably connected, when we eliminate the hateful 8, we’ll feel much better emotionally, too!

Learn how to eliminate the Hateful 8 to level up your psychological health!


Dr. Cate Shanahan

Website: ⁠http://drcate.com/⁠

Books: ⁠https://drcate.com/books/⁠ 

Instagram: ⁠@drcateshanahan⁠


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: ⁠@dr.karin⁠ | ⁠@pastorelliottanderson

Sep 21, 202331:21
Tired, Depressed, Overweight? These Dietary Fats Could be to Blame! with Dr. Cate Shanahan - Part 1 Ep. 263
Sep 15, 202334:26
The Mental Health War: How to Fight It! Ep. 262

The Mental Health War: How to Fight It! Ep. 262

We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015).


Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction.


We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons:  (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress.


Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).


Elliott and I argue that a “medicalized” framework pathologizes reasonable responses to trauma and pain; this frameworks also disempowers clients—which is both an unintended and unfortunate consequence. Furthermore, and very importantly, most pharmaceutical interventions for psychological conditions simply don’t work as promised—if at all (Brogan, 2016, 2019; Whitaker, 2015). 


Join our conversation to learn the necessary tactics for engaging in this mental health war!

 

Works Cited

Brogan, K. (2016). A mind of your own:  The truth about depression and how women can heal their bodies to reclaim their lives. Harper Wave.

Brogan, K. (2019). Own yourself:  The surprising path beyond depression, anxiety, and fatigue to reclaiming your authenticity, vitality, and freedom. Hay House.

Spielmans, G., Spence-Sing, T., & Parry, P. (2020). Duty to warn:  Antidepressant black box suicidality warning is empirically justified. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 20. ttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full

Whitaker, R. (2015). Anatomy of an epidemic. Broadway Books.


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Sep 07, 202345:06
Addiction in America Ep. 261

Addiction in America Ep. 261

Elliott’s mental health series continues with a message about addiction. Sadly, addictions have touched us all—whether we’ve struggled ourselves or we’ve endured the pain of watching a loved one wrestle with the grip of addiction.


Elliott shares an understanding of addiction through a Biblical lens. He tackles questions surrounding the grip of addiction and the hope and healing we can find in Christ.


Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/6pku0usfyr8cz8enz2dyi/Altering-Addictions.pptx?rlkey=t1p3y55dyo1gjhdvzzs4q82l1&dl=0


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson












Aug 31, 202342:42
How to Diminish Depression’s Hold on Your Life! Ep. 260
Aug 24, 202339:50
Abating Loneliness Ep. 259

Abating Loneliness Ep. 259

Abating - something becomes smaller and less intense.


Did you know we are dealing with an epidemic of loneliness in our culture today? More than ever people are asserting feelings of loneliness in their lives. 


Today we continue Pastor Elliott’s series on mental health on the topic of loneliness. He covers the following topics:


- What is loneliness?

- How we emotionally and physically respond to it

- 3 ways we are most vulnerable to loneliness

- 3 ways to abate loneliness


Thank you for listening!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Aug 18, 202337:01
Attacking Anxiety with Action! Ep. 258
Aug 10, 202341:14
7 Steps for Empowered Dating—Even When You’ve Been Single Longer Than You Expected! with Roshini Rajkumar Ep. 257

7 Steps for Empowered Dating—Even When You’ve Been Single Longer Than You Expected! with Roshini Rajkumar Ep. 257

How can we remain empowered when we’ve been on the dating scene for SO long?


As you know, I spent 27 years dating—from age 15 until I married at 42. It can be exhausting, demoralizing, and heartbreaking.


How then, do we remain happy, hopeful, and positive on our journey to love?


Today’s guest, Roshini Rajkumar, also dated for many years before meeting her now husband. Fun fact: they fell in love at first sight!


Here's some more about Roshini. Roshini Rajkumar is a crisis strategist, C-suite advisor, and media insider. Core clients include Fortune 500 brands and their leaders. In her public life, Roshini is a media commentator and host of The Crisis Files podcast, which is also in pitch phase as a television pilot. She draws upon 25 years on air—first as a TV reporter. Then after starting her business in 2006, as host of REAL Talk with Roshini, which aired Sundays on WCCO Radio from 2012 through 2021. 


Roshini shares the 7 important steps she discovered as she navigated relationships in her twenties and thirties. And actually, these same principles prove helpful not only for empowered dating, but also for empowered living!


Roshini and I discuss our journeys—including marrying later to a man with children—and the 7 concrete steps we can take to keep our head in the game, while following our heart.


Roshini Rajkumar

Website: http://ownyourwow.com/

Twitter: @RoshiniR and @TheCrisisFiles

Instagram: @RoshiniRajkumar and @TheCrisisFiles

YouTube: @TheCrisisFiles


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Aug 03, 202356:03
Does The Pill Impact Your Mental Health? with Dr. Leah Gordon Ep. 256

Does The Pill Impact Your Mental Health? with Dr. Leah Gordon Ep. 256

According to a recent KFF poll, 77% of women would like birth control pills to be available without a prescription—assuming they’re safe and effective.


But are they?


Effective? Okay. But, safe? Not so much.


Among the many side effects of using hormonal birth control is an increased risk of breast cancer.


According to a study by Dr. Marilyn Althuis of the University of Maryland, “Women under 35 years old who are using contraceptive drugs have a 91% higher risk for developing breast cancer than women who use hormone-free contraception.”


And sadly, the risk of breast cancer is just the tip of the iceberg!


Dr. Leah Gordon specializes in helping women “break up with birth control” and balance their hormones naturally which allows them to optimize their fertility to prepare for pregnancy, if that’s their goal.


Join us to hear why a switch from hormonal birth control—including, The Pill, progestin-laced IUDs, vaginal rings, implants, and injections—will help you take charge of your emotional health and level up in love and life!


Citations:

 Wadia-Ellis, S. (2020). Busting breast cancer:  Five smple steps to keep breast cancer out of your body. Busting Breast Cancer.


Althius, M.D. et al., (2003). Hormonal content and potency of oral contraceptives and breast cancer risk among young women. British Journal of Cancer, 8, (1), 50-57.


Dolle, J. et al. (2009). Risk factors for Triple-Negative breast cancer in women under the age of 45 years. Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers & Prevention, 18, (4), 413-439.


https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/press-release/most-women-are-in-favor-of-making-birth-control-pills-available-over-the-counter-without-a-prescription-if-research-shows-they-are-safe-and-effective/


Dr. Leah

Website: https://www.drleahgordon.com/

Instagram: @drleahgordon

Womanhood Wellness: https://www.womanhoodwellness.com/


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jul 27, 202301:00:01
Best of Love & Life: Help! I Keep Dating Men with Avoidant Attachment Style! with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 255

Best of Love & Life: Help! I Keep Dating Men with Avoidant Attachment Style! with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 255

Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?”

Specifically, we address:

  • Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away.
  • The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment.
  • The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style.
  • When he marries you, but is still avoidant!
  • Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so!
  • Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner.
  • How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable.
  • How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself or, if you’re simply with the wrong person.
  • Cultivating intimacy with someone with Avoidant Attachment—it is possible!

If you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you know how confusing it can be. Join us to gain clarity around attachment and acquire specific strategies to help build a healthy connection!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jul 20, 202345:51
Best of Love & Life: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 254

Best of Love & Life: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 254

Join us today as we revisit Love & Life's most popular episode to date: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 165


I hear this question from women in my community all the time—“I have an anxious attachment style. Will I ever be able to be in a secure relationship?”

To address this concern, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into anxious attachment and how it impacts dating and relationships.

Specifically, we discuss:

  • Anxious attachment and our desire for intimacy.
  • Trauma bonds and anxious attachment.
  • When feeling anxiety in a relationship is a GOOD thing!
  • How the hookup culture has impacted attachment.
  • Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to attachment.

Elliott shares insights from his 30 years of working with clients and couples. Join us to gain a greater understanding of anxious attachment and how it may influence your dating patterns and relationship dynamics.


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jul 13, 202353:35
Spiritual Wounds: What They Are and How to Heal Ep. 253

Spiritual Wounds: What They Are and How to Heal Ep. 253

We recently received a question from a listener in our community: “What is spiritual abuse in and outside of a Christian context and how do individuals heal from it?” The timing was perfect as Elliott and I had planned on continuing our woundedness series with an episode devoted to the spiritual wound. Elliott and I discuss 3 types of spiritual abuse: Complete absence of spiritual opportunity.  Involvement in faith-based communities that operate out of shame, fear, and abuse. Spiritual authorities (parents, teachers, pastors, spouses, and others) who use their position as a tool to foster spiritual abuse. We end the episode with some practical steps and ways to move forward from abuse into healing! Citation: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/01/31/are-religious-people-happier-healthier-our-new-global-study-explores-this-question/ Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Jul 06, 202340:37
Narcissistic Wound: Are You in Relationship with a Narcissist? Part I Ep. 252

Narcissistic Wound: Are You in Relationship with a Narcissist? Part I Ep. 252

Have you ever dated a narcissist? Have you been in a relationship with someone so cold and cruel, you’re pretty sure he/she could be diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Then again, maybe he was just a bad guy!

Either way, this episode is for you!


Elliott and I discuss the following:

  • The prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • The DSM criteria for NPD.
  • Narcissism as a result of trauma.
  • Attachment Style and NPD.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Why you’re so attracted to narcissists.
  • How to STOP being attracted to narcissists!


Join us to delve into the points above—and more!—on the narcissistic wound.


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jun 29, 202330:47
“Nice Guy, But . . . Syndrome” with Dr. Duana Welch, Part 2 Ep. 251
Jun 15, 202343:32
Why Can’t I Fall for the Nice Guy? with Dr. Duana Welch, Part 1 Ep. 250
Jun 08, 202333:55
Money & Love with Veronica Grant Ep. 249

Money & Love with Veronica Grant Ep. 249

Money and relationships intersect on myriad levels. Our behavior around finances reflects our beliefs, values, and priorities—and, the same could be said about our behavior around relationships!


Certified Financial Consultant Veronica Grant joins Elliott and me to discuss dating, relationships, and money.

As Veronica puts it, “We don’t want to bring bank statements to a first date, but it’s important to gather information about financial choices and habits early on to be sure your values align in this all important domain. 


Moreover, according to research in the journal, Family Relations, couples’ arguments regarding finances are most predictive of divorce, so it’s critical we learn about each other’s spending patterns before we walk down the aisle!


Specifically, Veronica, Elliott, and I delve into:

  • Non-invasive questions to ask—even on a first date!—that will give you a sense of your date’s financial choices and habits. 
  • What to do if you realize you’re not aligned on money matters.
  • Money and power dynamics in relationships.


All too often, we fail to acknowledge the profound impact of money on love and love on money. Join us to learn more!


https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258879033_Examining_the_Relationship_Between_Financial_Issues_and_Divorce


Veronica Grant

Website: https://www.veronicagrant.com/

Instagram: @veronicaegrant


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Jun 01, 202343:24
Power in Dating & Marriage: What to Do When Your Partner Has Too Much and You Don’t Have Enough! Ep. 248
May 25, 202346:18
Help! My BF Has ADHD—How Do I Support Him? Ep. 247

Help! My BF Has ADHD—How Do I Support Him? Ep. 247

In today’s world of screens and scrolling, many of us find ourselves struggling to concentrate and focus. In recent years, more and more Americans have received diagnoses of ADHD. Such diagnoses may often present unique challenges to dating and relating.

Help is here! Elliott has been energetic since birth—our mom even claims he was more active in the womb!😊 Over the years, teachers suggested he might need medication, but because our dad was adamantly anti pharma, Elliott learned other ways to cope with—and even embrace!—his hyperactivity.

We begin with some thoughts on the DSM’s (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) changing definitions of Attention Deficit Disorder and how the exponential increase of ADHD diagnoses impacts individuals and our society. 

Specifically, we consider:

  • Has the condition truly changed or has our conception and expectations of childhood behavior evolved?
  • When people internalize an identity of ADHD, what does this do to their sense of self i.e. their self-concept and beliefs around their capabilities?

We then answer a listener’s question about how to best support her new boyfriend who has ADHD. Join us to hear both personal and professional commentary on ADHD!


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

May 18, 202347:23
Infidelity Wound: How to Heal with Jill & Mark Savage Ep. 246

Infidelity Wound: How to Heal with Jill & Mark Savage Ep. 246

According to the Institute of Family Studies, 20% of married men and 13% of married women have admitted to cheating on their spouse. For many couples, infidelity destroys their marriage—40% of adults who have committed adultery are now divorced compared to 17% of spouses who have never cheated.

But affairs don’t always end marriages and in today’s episode, Jill and Mark Savage share how they navigated the valley of infidelity and emerged with a deeper intimacy and connection. As Mark puts it, “We now have the marriage we’d always dreamed of.”

Jill and Mark speak specifically to these themes and questions:

  • How we often misuse our strengths in marriage.
  • The trap of “parenting” your spouse.
  • The delicate balance of control—when one spouse dominates and the other allows it.
  • Can strong, independent women enjoy traditional marriage roles?
  • Owning our part in marital dysfunction.
  • How those with Avoidant Attachment and Anxious Attachment can forge strong relationships.
  • How to “recover” from your attachment style.
  • How we often unwittingly behave in ways that cause our worst relationship fears to come true!

Jill and Mark share their story hoping to encourage and inspire other couples. Healing from infidelity IS possible!

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america


Sponsor:

Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife

Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order


Jill & Mark Savage

Website: https://jillsavage.org/


Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Apr 27, 202344:15
The Abolition of Sex: Implications for Women’s Rights with Kara Dansky Ep. 245

The Abolition of Sex: Implications for Women’s Rights with Kara Dansky Ep. 245

What is a woman? In the last several years, this question—which once would have seemed perfectly obvious to anyone—has become both perplexing and divisive.

Feminist Kara Dansky joins Love & Life for our first “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It!” episode. We’re committed to open conversations—even about subjects that are currently considered taboo.


Kara and I consider the following questions:


  • What is gender vs. sex?
  • Does “gender identity” exist?
  • How should we compassionately respond to gender dysphoria?
  • Are children truly more likely to commit suicide if they aren’t permitted to transition or are suicide rates higher post transitioning?
  • In some cases, do men claim a trans identity in order to access women’s spaces?
  • What about men in women’s sports?
  • Is the trans movement homophobic?
  •  Does the trans movement dehumanize women?
  • Is the trans movement related to transhumanism?
  • What is a woman?


We invite you to join us as we tackle this momentous subject. We share our thoughts with open minds and open hearts. Sponsor: Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order Kara Dansky

Website: https://www.karadansky.com/

Women's Declaration: ⁠https://www.womensdeclaration.com/

Twitter: @kdansky Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson


Apr 20, 202350:50