Making Sense of Infidelity

An episode of LoveBonds

By Terri DiMatteo, LPC
Unravel the mysteries of romantic love, attachment, ​and infidelity with relationship and couples counselor Terri DiMatteo, LPC of Open Door Therapy in Westfield, New Jersey.
More places to listen

More places to listen

Exploring the Old Adage "Once a Cheater Always a Cheater"
We've all heard it. We've heard it among friends. We've heard it at social gatherings. We've heard it on the television and among relationship experts  - 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.  Is is true?  This episode provides an in-depth exploration of the old adage 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.  
February 17, 2019
Three Problems With Online Dating
Online dating is easy, convenient and popular. Many a pair have met, fallen in love and married through online dating apps - so what's wrong with meeting people through dating apps? Relationship and couple counselor Terri DiMatteo, LPC of Open Door Therapy shares ways in which online dating works against building a safe and trusting romantic relationship. 
February 14, 2019
One Reason Why Affair Recovery is So Difficult
The discovery of an affair throws a couple into a relationship crisis. The experience is dramatic and traumatizing. The future of the relationship immediately becomes uncertain as couples ask themselves, "Will our relationship survive this?" There is an often overlooked reason about why recovery from an affair is so daunting and difficult.  Listen as affair recovery expert Terri DiMatteo, LPC of Open Door Therapy unpacks an important  -- but overlooked reason -- why infidelity recovery is so hard to do. 
February 14, 2019
Will Your New Relationship Last? One Way to Assess It
You're in a new relationship and you really like your new love interest! You're not sure if it has enough staying power for the long haul.  How can you tell? Here's a quick way to assess your new relationship to see if it might have long-lasting potential! 
February 13, 2019
How to Know When it's Time to Call it Quits
There is a lot of misinformation, misunderstanding and confusion around romantic relationships. While it's true that all relationships experience conflict as well as times of disconnect -- how do you know when enough is really enough and it's time to call it quits?  Relationship and couple counselor Terri DiMatteo, LPC of Open Door Therapy offers a few indications that a relationship may truly be over. 
February 12, 2019
Everyday Romance: A Relationship Essential
On Valentine's Day we partake in and witness grand gestures of romantic love that include chocolates, flowers, lingerie, love notes and candlelit dinners. All of that is quite nice, of course, but an annual romantic splash is not enough to sustain a romantic connection.  Relationship and couple counselor Terri DiMatteo argues that romance is not an essential 'part of' a committed relationship or marriage - but, in fact, a committed relationship or marriage, by definition, is a romantic union!  Real-life demands, stresses and strains are certainly forces that work against the softer, tender and desirous feelings essential to romantic feelings.  So how does a couple sustain romance over time? Is romance really that  important? What happens when romance diminishes and is replaced by functionality, practicality and efficiency?  
February 12, 2019
Unpacking Infidelity: Challenging Popular Notions on Affairs
We've all seen the magazine headlines, celebrity gossip stories, politicians who cheat and have listened to the experts that portray infidelity in  trite and predictable ways.  Our culture tends to simplify and trivialize each person within the affair triad. In fact, the language of affairs also contributes to infidelity misunderstanding.  Popular notions suggest that:  The one who engaged in the infidelity is a heartless, immoral villain. ("The Cheater") The one who's partner strayed is an innocent victim who was wronged and made no contribution to the relationship crisis.         ("The Betrayed Partner") The outside party is demonized as an immoral, sex-crazed home-wrecker. ("The Mistress" NOTE: There is no gender-parallel term for a male affair-partner) Is this portrayal accurate? Are the roles cast in concrete? Experienced infidelity and affair recovery counselor, Terri DiMatteo challenges these notions and offers a deeper understanding of these notions that hinder rather than help in the understanding of infidelity. 
February 12, 2019
The Psychopathic Partner: A Conversation with Steve Becker, LCSW
Love and relationships have their challenges but when the romantic partner is a personality disordered psychopath the challenges are steep.  Not for the faint of heart, this episode presents an in-depth discussion with Steve Becker, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice with over twenty years experience specializing in narcissistic spectrum personality disorders.  Steve is the author of "The Inner World of the Psychopath: A Definitive Primer on the Psychopathic Personality" available on Amazon.  Visit Steve's website Visit Steve's YouTube Channel Steve Becker, LCSW
February 9, 2019
On Pre-Marital Infidelity
What is a couple to do when infidelity occurs before getting married? Mayi Dixon, LPC host of Anchor's "The PreMarital Bliss Podcast" interviews relationship and couples counselor Terri DiMatteo. The two discuss the unique concerns that occur when infidelity happens before getting married. What needs to be considered? What is the best way forward? You can learn more about Mayi by visiting her website and by listening to her at "The PreMarital Bliss Podcast" here: Enjoy!
August 14, 2018
Why You May Still Be Thinking About An Old Flame
Do you still occasionally think about someone special from your past? Do you sometimes wonder 'what if?' even though many years have passed – and each of you has ‘moved on’? Does a special someone still hold a tender place in your heart? If so, you may have experienced ‘love interrupted’ rather than a break-up. This episode is based on the fascinating research on lost love by Dr. Nancy Kalish.
May 10, 2018
Making Sense of Infidelity
Relationship and couples counselor, Terri DiMatteo, LPC discusses the hows and whys of infidelity with Dini of Vigilantes Radio on the "Inside The Biz" Series.
April 15, 2018
Infidelity Explained
A conversation with relationship and couples counselor Terri DiMatteo, LPC and host Shane Birkel, LMFT host of 'The Couple Therapist Couch' on the topic of infidelity.
February 23, 2018
Romantic Bonding Behaviors
Romantic bonding keeps partners attached to one another, creates stability and helps with emotional regulation. Find out which specific behaviors deepen and strengthen romantic pairs!
August 8, 2017
Infidelity as Trauma
Infidelity is so detrimental to a relationship because it strikes at the fundamental need for trust and safety within a romantic bond and places the future of the relationship in jeopardy.
August 8, 2017
What is romantic love?
Throughout the life cycle we all need a protective loved one who we can trust and depend upon to respond to us. In childhood these needs are met by the mother. As adults, it is the romantic partner.
August 7, 2017
"We never fight"
When it comes to romantic relationships there's something much more detrimental than arguing - and that is not arguing at all! A relationship is lacking intimacy when it has "flatlined".
August 4, 2017
What constitutes infidelity?
Which behaviors constitute infidelity? Is kissing someone other than your partner infidelity? Is excessive texting or emotional sharing with another infidelity? Is there an identifiable line?
July 31, 2017
Infidelity & "No Contact" (3)
Affair recovery requires that the relationship between the partner who strayed and the affair partner must fully conclude - but how it's done is tricky business. Part 3
July 31, 2017
Infidelity & "No Contact" (2)
Affair recovery requires that the relationship between the partner who strayed and the affair-partner must fully conclude - but how "no contact" is implemented is tricky business. This is Part 2.
July 31, 2017
Infidelity & "No Contact" (1)
Affair recovery requires that the relationship between the partner who strayed and the affair-partner must fully conclude - but how "no contact" is implemented is tricky business. This is Part 1.
July 31, 2017
Why do people have affairs?
Infidelity is a relationship trauma that brings pain and suffering to those directly (and indirectly) involved and puts the future of the relationship at risk. Find out the real reason they occur.
July 27, 2017
Love Helps Manage Difficult Emotions
Romantic love serves an important purpose and a function. It is designed to help partners regulate their emotions and to serve as a buffer from the stresses and strains of life.
July 27, 2017
The Grip of the Romantic Bond
The concept of romantic bonding is often described as "a strong connection" or "a deep friendship" but in reality the bond is so much deeper, more powerful and of greater significance.
July 27, 2017
LoveBonds: Intro & Welcome!
LoveBonds is the audio podcast of relationship & couples counselor Terri DiMatteo, LPC of Open Door Therapy in Westfield, New Jersey. The counseling practice focuses on couples care & affair recove...
July 25, 2017
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