Love Letters to a Unicorn

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/05/04/kink-life-balance-is-24-7-really-for-you/

Power exchange delineated at 24/7 is commonly upheld as the "ultimate" or "most desirable" form of kinky relationship. The reality is, even in 24/7 relationships not all things are power exchange! If you have ever desired to enter into this type of dynamic, here are things to consider before pursing one.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/07/26/this-could-save-your-life/

Kink and BDSM play elicits strong physical and emotional reactions. Knowing what is a good reaction what what signals indicate a potential medical emergency is critical to staying safe. This post covers the most common medical emergencies, what they look like, and appropriate first aid.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/07/30/why-is-sexting-with-strangers-only-possible-on-a-secure-chat-site/

Sponsored post promoting online sexting with strangers through new app.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/08/19/is-your-kink-practice-missing-something-critical/

Is spirituality incorporated into your BDSM practice? Should it be?

After speaking with a ton of long-term kink practicitions, Auntie Vice discovers the one thing most think are missing from the current practice of BDSM is a spiritual aspect. This post covers the whys and hows of incorporating more ritual into your practice and the potential benefits of exploring the deeper side of kink.

We all have a lot of unlearning to do as we come to embrace pride. Here are a few ways to help unlearn what society has told you about LGBTQ+ folks and Pride.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/06/10/unfuck-yourself-for-pride/

Pride readings for 2022

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/06/02/pride-2022/

There is so much overwhelming bad news out there! From losing Roe, to the limitation of Miranda, to the gun violence we all face in the US it can feel like there is so much bad stuff that all we can do is curl up in a ball and cry. As an old activist, I offer a few words of advice on how to care for yourself and keep going.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/07/11/things-are-terrifying-how-do-i-keep-going/

Galen Fous is conducting academic research on sexual fantasies. Please consider learning about this survey and possibly participating.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/07/24/sexual-fantasy-research/

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/05/25/a-sexy-bucket-list-how-many-have-you-done/

Looking for a sexual bucket list which focuses on connection and intimacy? Too many bucket lists focus on individual activities or fetishize types of people. This one focuses on the events which allow you to connect with yourself and your partner. Bet you haven't done all of these yet!

During my conversation with Meg Elison (author of The Road to Nowhere series), she listed a great set of books which center fat, trans, and queer characters. This list will make an excellent reading list for anyone this summer!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/04/11/summer-reading-list/

Taking a D/s or BDSM dynamic beyond just sexual play can help couples connect more deeply to each other and their dynamic. Here are seven ways to take you dynamic beyond the bedroom!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/04/22/7-ways-to-expand-your-dynamic/

Imani Barbarin, disabilities activist, wished white people could have a list of readings we passed around to help us understand how race was experienced in America. Wish granted! Here is a list of great books to start to understand the viewpoints of different people on race in America.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/04/17/no-white-people-left-behind/

There is one behavior exhibited by submissive folks that dominants hate more than anything else in the world! Find out what it is and what you can do to avoid being the annoying submissive.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/03/28/the-1-things-domme-hate/

Submissives will not always agree with the decisions or actions of a dominant. This does not mean you should be quiet! Here are ways to honor your dynamic and express disagreement.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/09/21/what-can-you-do-if-you-disagree-with-your-dominant/

Visiting family? Want to stay kinky but not tip off the grandparents?

Here are a bunch of tips and tools for traveling and visiting fam, staying kinking, and not tipping off the parents.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/11/02/home-for-the-holidays-ways-to-stay-kinky-while-visiting-relatives/

Have you tried to date in the kinky world and not been able to connect with the right person? Too many or too few good candidate?

Here are things which may be preventing you from meeting the dominant of your dreams!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/10/14/cant-find-the-domme-of-your-dreams-this-may-be-why/

Everyone starts somewhere. Here are tips and tools to make you early foray into the kinky world a bit safer and more fun!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/10/24/bdsm-tips-for-beginners/

There are ethics to hooking up and casual sex. Understanding how to navigate this will keep you from unintentionally hurting people (or yourself) and allow you to enjoy casual dating and hook-ups.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/11/10/how-to-be-an-ethical-ho/

With five major nipple clamp designs and a wide variety of nipples out there, which clamps will work the way you want them too? Here is your buying guide!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/11/30/which-nipple-clips-are-right-for-you/

There are currently dozens of states rushing to pass laws to severely limit or eliminate abortion access in anticipation of the upcoming SCOTUS decision. Understand why abortion access must remain safe, legal, and widely available.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/12/06/abortion-must-be-safe/

There are thousands of vibrating wand models out there to buy. How do you know which one will work for you? Here is a buying guide!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/12/13/which-wand-is-right-for-you/

Setting goals for sex and intimacy may seem a bit weird. However, having a sexual bucket list or other form of goal setting can be a practical way to prioritize desire. Here are tips for setting and achieving things on your sexual goal list.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/12/26/getting-what-you-want-in-2022-step-1/

While COVID numbers are currently decreasing and most states have abandoned their mask mandates, this does not mean the risk of catching COVID is gone. Here are some practical tips for ethically dating at a time where COVID is still a real risk for people and still causing serious disease and death for over 1,000 people a day in the US.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/01/12/dating-in-an-on-going-pandemic/

Many sex educators and couples therapists say communication is key to a successful relationship. What happens if you are not into long, heart-felt talks about your relationship, sex, and desire? This post covers some alternative to long talks as ways to communicate for couples!

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/01/25/how-to-communicate-when-you-hate-long-talks/

People talk about 'head space' without actually defining it or giving any practical tips for entering and staying in various head spaces. This post explores what we mean when we say "head space," how to get there, stay there, and understand it.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/02/05/head-space-101/

EARNIT Act is sponsored by Senator Lindsay Graham. This bill, if passed, could open the door to the CIA, ICE, and FBI reading, cataloging, and tracking all your DMs on social media sites. Understand what this act is and what it could mean for online privacy.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/02/09/earn-it-act/

Figuring out WHY you submit is the key to understanding what you want out of submission. Gain tools to help you find your why.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/02/21/one-question-every-submissive-needs-to-answer/

Submissives often experience difficulty navigating their own desires. We naturally tend to want to serve our dominant partners first before meeting our own needs. There are many reasons people are attracted to submission. Understanding your desires and how to navigate them is a key part to creating your version of submission.

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2022/03/15/should-submissives-express-their-needs/

Are you afraid to try something that intrigues you? Is your fear holding you back in a relationship? Here are some tips to conquer your fears and explore what you desire.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/06/21/scared-tips-to-conquer-fears/

Do you or a partner have body image concerns/issues? Are you looking for ways to grow you body confidence and self-love? Here are three great body-affirming exercises to do with an intimate partner!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/08/16/an-introduction-to-body-affirming-kink-play/

If you are new(ish) to kink and BDSM it can be both thrilling and overwhelming! Looking for some solid tips on how to start exploring this new-found world? Looking for resources and insider how-to's? This post is for you!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/08/02/7-tips-when-you-are-new-to-kink/

Protocols- rues and rituals formalized in a power exchange relationship- can lend security, structure, and sexiness to a relationship. Most often, the Dominant designs protocols for the submissive. Here are ways to flip the script and create protocols for Dominants.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/05/30/flip-it-and-reverse-it-protocols-for-dominants/

Adding marijuana to your pre-sex life can have very positive benefits. Here is how to keep your kink play safe, sane, and consensual while high!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/07/22/combining-weed-and-kink-read-this/

Aftercare, the things you do right after a kinky play session to reground you and your partner(s), is often mentioned as important. It is not frequently explained in a way which allows you to find the aftercare plan right for you. This post takes you through finding and planning for your own aftercare needs.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/07/16/how-do-you-create-an-aftercare-plan/

You have probably seen people wearing a collar to represent something in BDSM. Here, guest poster Spices of Lust, explains what the significance of a collar is and why it is so important to BDSM.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/06/19/why-collars-are-important-to-bdsm/

Great sex rarely "just happens." Great sex requires some planning. It may sound counterintuitive, especially if you watch too many rom-coms, but sex needs some pregaming. Here are some tips on how to have better sex with a plan.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/08/27/sexier-sex-plan-for-it/

Tips on how to stay safe and sexy during the pandemic

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2020/04/10/how-to-swing-safely-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/

Practicing ethical nonmonogamy takes work and learning. Even if you are monogamous, the skills that make ethical nonmonogamy work are great for helping monogamous folks as well. Here are the major things can take away from nonmonogamy.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/12/03/what-monogamous-folks-can-learn-from-non-monogamy/

Are you looking to find that perfect sex toy for yourself? Here are tips on finding just the right one!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/05/13/sex-toy-buying-guide/

At some point in our lives, we will probably be in a relationship where we get cheated on. You hope the person you are dating will not cheat, but you can never be sure this won't happen. Here are tips on how to set up your relationship to survive a cheating incident and maintain your authentic self.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/05/25/do-this-before-a-partner-cheats/

Ever wonder what a kinky girl keeps in her bedside table? What are the true go-to items? This post reveals what I keep at my fingertips for sexy time!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/05/29/what-do-kinky-girls-keep-in-their-bedside-table/

Mantras, short repeated sayings which help you center and focus, can deepen your BDSM practices. This post explores how mantras are created, used, and what they can do to improve your kink practices.

his episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/06/03/why-mantras-are-important-to-bdsm/

Pride has been co-opted by companies trying to make a buck off the queer community. Pride is about our rights to exist and live out and proud! Here are 14 ideas which will embrace the true spirit of pride.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/06/08/14-ideas-to-embrace-the-true-spirit-of-pride/

Are you committing to your hot girl/guy/human summer? Want to host an orgy? Here are 7 tips on how to host a safe, sane and consensual group sex event from someone who has.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/06/23/7-tips-for-hosting-an-orgy/

Some people use the language of BDSM and kink to hide their abusive behaviors. People seeking relationships which will allow them control and the ability to hit others are drawn to kink dating sites but they do not intend to engage in consensual kink. Unfortunately Fetlife is inundated with these folks. Here are 7 tips to help you screen out the chafe.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2021/06/30/7-tips-to-help-you-screen-for-abusers-on-kink-sites/

Looking for an erotic story featuring nonbinary folks? Sci-fi take on gender changes and hot actions!

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com/2019/04/14/new-boobs-short-erotic-story/