Love, Lies, and Life.

Today is 5/26/20 at 4:03 pm I was about to turn 50 in a few months and soon to become an empty nester.  I would finally be able to live a little find a man that would fall madly in love with me and I would fall madly in love with him. We would make a lot of money together and travel all around the world. He would be interested in cryptocurrency, Blockchain, and the stock market just like I was.  It could happen, right? 

Diamonds are to be searched for but I guess I shine so bright it's blinding? You can call it women’s intuition... I call it the moment I messed up! I thought he liked me. I thought he was interested in me. Hell, I can't tell and I can't blame no one but myself. I thought I knew what I had to do but my loving, goody to shoes, kind hearted, keep on ya gonna get your feelings hurt, ways took control. I had a moment where I knew the ball was no longer in my court. I felt the wind slowly seep out of the possible of a romantic relationship. I didn’t follow the rules. THIS DATING SHIT SUCKS! Be busy... ok! Don’t text.... ok! Don’t call first... Ok! I broke all the rules. I hate rules!!!! I (think) I COULD REALLY LIKED HIM and that's where I messed up. I lead with my blind, loving, kind, heart and not with the rules! I became a fixer. I became a listener. I became a problem solver. I became a motherly. It may have costed me suitable man or It may have saved me from a heartbreak. Ok! Well, I have to get back out there and try again. I can imagine a drill sergeant yelling "Get Up Soldier!" "DATING IS A WAR!" MOVE IT! MOVE IT! Thank you for the lessons King! I had fun one that one date (LOL). You are a great man and father! I wish you well KING. I wish there was some way this could have been easier. I take that back. I realize there is no easy to learn how to love and how to be loved. This is all apart of something I have to grow through. My name is Rahsaana and this is not the end of my STORY!  I'm a Diamond!

This is my personal journey through dating. I wasn't ready for years but now I am going forth. I want you to come along with me as I travel down some uncharted waters. I have paid for my subscriptions and they are coming. Wow, I am in training to get what I deserve from one man. Honey, I an Channeling Becky. That's right you heard me correctly. Becky... yes that what I said! I am discovering my feminine energy and it feels good to be soft and sexy. Let's go! I 'm ready to be loved!

Tonight’s episode is deadbeats. I really didn't want to use that word but how else could I explain it? I actually didn't use the word in my original draft of the description of the episode. This is my very own personal experience. This is from what I have seen with family and friends. It's so very painful and private but I had to share my story. So I will be discussing fathers who have kids of their own but for whatever reason had walked out on them. OK! So are you following me here? The same man that will not be a father to his children will however be a father and provider to other children. He goes off and somehow knows how to be a nurturing father to other children. He is now spending time and providing financially for children that he may or may not have created. This is such a touchy topic but I had to put it out there. This is why you should really consider who You are having children with. If you didn't want her to be the mother of your child why did you have sex with this person? Now, just to be fair there are deadbeat mothers out there. I don't know any personally but I have heard a few men talk about raising children on their own. Ok, wait a minute! I have a friend who married a woman and she left him to raise her kids. That's right, her kids. These are not his biological children. He has never had children of his own. This is what he told me! I have to say this sounds so unbelievable. She ran off to be with another man but I don't know if she raised his children or if he has children. Wow! Just wow! I could never leave my children at the babysitter and be in complete comfort. I couldn't wait to see my children at the end of the day.  Let’s talk about it tonight on love, lies, life.