Lunchtime Depression

Lunchtime Depression

By Matthew Eaton
It's hard to go through life depressed. Every Monday through Saturday, Matthew shares his personal stories and what helps him survive depression every day. If you're looking to share your story and you don't know how, or you want to make sure you're not alone, ring the bell. It's chow time.

Remember, I am not a licensed professional.
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Mental Health: The Darkness is too bright
Inspired by Me and That Man.
16:12
March 29, 2020
History: Living Through Mental Health History
If there is one thing we all believe in with the COVID-19 virus, it is the fact we are living through history.  Since it is historic, it means we are exposed to two flaws within the system. No one was prepared for this, even though we had plenty of warning. The other is understanding we do not have the same idea of what society is and will be after this moment and time in our lives. What can one do? How much control do you take? Are you even in control? I explore some of this in my thoughts about what this means to us all.
19:27
March 25, 2020
Connections: How Do We Survive Poor Leadership?
Today we cover my feelings during this health crisis. It is in reaction to how leadership at my pretend job decided to respond to this situation. This is how their actions took undermined the faith of hundreds of employees. As with all things, we have to make sure how we navigate situations like this. I've come up with my own plan and hope this will inspire you to take some action if this is happening to you. The goal is to give you some faith and confidence in your efforts and help you find your own courage in a time of crisis. Not everyone can react the same, but we'll make it through this together!
14:28
March 19, 2020
The Battle Against Feeling Sadly Empty
I am here to prove my depression is driven by the emptiness I feel in my soul. This is driven by the lack of love in my past as well as the need to develop a safe space in my mind. I had to close down my heart to live in the past, but now it does not serve me anymore.  The measures I am taking is being more interested in people and also being aware of their shortcomings. No one is perfect, not even me. I am still a part of the problem. I am also studying my own flaws more. Not everyone wants to study their flaws, but it will give me a method of bolstering my abilities while also being attentive to other people. If I achieve the level I want, I will fill the emptiness inside by a small margin. It will never go away and I will always feel inadequate, but in the long run, I will have more filling than I will not.
17:22
March 16, 2020
Mental Health: Why we crave control
Why do we need control? Some believe we must have everything right if we are supposed to do what is best. Others believe it is the only way we can live peacefully. I use an example from my life and working at this new place to determine how I am ready to give up control as well as what steps I am taking in this global crisis to continue forward with my life.
14:56
March 13, 2020
Awareness: Why We Must be Wary of Other People's Opinions
When someone tells you what to do, sometimes it is not about you but about them. This episode touches on some of the changes that happened over the last few weeks and the horrible times where someone decided I would be their pet project and a reason for their salvation / goddess complex.
14:05
March 10, 2020
Mental Health: The Challenge to Trust the Process
The main hurdle is, of course, me. I can't stop getting out of my way and I can't accept the failure and faults of my own process. This is a relic of my abuse, but it is also a bad habit I got into when I was living a poor life.  It is something I can easily get out of, but it also takes time to know how difficult I am on myself as well as what I can do to change it for future me. I know many of us go through unable to trust what we have in our lives. In order to change well, we must start learning. This is my example.
14:21
March 5, 2020
Mental Health: How I Deal With Anxiety
This came off of the fact I was facing an anxiety attack while at my new job. A lot of changes and adjustments in my life means that I am facing something new. As a survivor of multiple cases of abuse and shames, this is uncharted territory for me. Having control over things is where I want to be, but I know it won't do me any good at this point because that is not how I grow. So I sat there with my mother chiming in, the same woman who didn't want me and sold me for a small amount of money to make ends me, shaming me over my poor choices and how I should just go away forever. In this episode, I do share how I deal with my anxiety attacks, but it is heavy on that moment where I essentially caught myself sleeping.
15:28
February 29, 2020
Mental Health: Don't Trust The Assessments
From Myers-Briggs to DiSC and everything between, how is one supposed to get things done and get some stability in this crazy world of self-improvement? You don't. These are guides, not things set in stone.
15:34
February 23, 2020
Mental Health: Do You Know What People Say?
I do, and that is what I heard last night as I got home on time for the first time in my days. An interesting conversation to say the least.
05:01
February 20, 2020
It's the End of a New Day
Yes it is!
04:37
February 18, 2020
Why so late?
This is what happens when a lot of chaos and change happens, right?
04:30
February 16, 2020
Episode 400: The Truth Behind the Start
And the reason why the job is ending, but not the podcast. 400+ episodes, let's see where the rest will take us.
08:39
February 14, 2020
Analysis: What Limits Do You Have on Your Career?
This is about the standard of having only so many jobs in your life after 40 and how much sand you have left in the glass to keep going. This is a recounting of this anxiety and fear with a little hope dashed in.
06:50
February 13, 2020
Mental Health: Cutting Through The Lies
Because someone has to, right?
06:22
February 12, 2020
Awareness: What Are The Limits of Your Abilities?
And how can you exploit it to the best of your ability?
06:26
February 11, 2020
Mental Health: How to Defy the Damaging Mental Winds
This wind storm I experienced before recording is an eye-opener on how paranoid I can become, but also understanding how bad things can get if I let them get out of control. 
06:27
February 10, 2020
Mental Health: Stop being a bad actor
Because we need two episodes today!
07:39
February 8, 2020
My apologies for the lapse
Things have changed, and there is a reason why. This episode touches on it.
07:26
February 8, 2020
Mental Health: The Crushing Problem of Being Alone with People
My experience of being alone in a holiday party filled with 300 people
06:50
February 7, 2020
Mental Health: Watch for the Poor Negotiating Tactics
A few days late and few issues with drive, but we're getting there!
07:04
February 5, 2020
Housemate Psychological Abuse And Me
This is where I talk about the reason why I am late and how I can adjust to this particular change in my life.
05:43
February 2, 2020
Awareness: How Bad Companies Gaslight You
Yep, late again but with good reason!
07:25
February 1, 2020
The Alarming Problem With My Mind
A little late (cough), but worth the wait.
06:46
January 31, 2020
Mental Health: Why I Struggle To Be Social
Simple: It is all about worth and whether I will allow myself to have a time.
07:34
January 29, 2020
Improvement: Setting up for a better tomorrow
Because that is all I can do to help myself improve, right?
04:01
January 28, 2020
How Can We Admit We Are Too Stubborn?
The loss of Kobe Bryant forces me to examine the stubbornness and control that was a cornerstone of this tragedy.
06:30
January 27, 2020
Awareness: Can you recognize your best?
And what can you do to support your efforts?
07:50
January 25, 2020
Growth: I'm Trying to Reduce my Risk
And trying to reduce risk is a risky game in the first place, especially when it comes to mental health.
06:10
January 24, 2020
Mental Health: What Are We Really Responsible For?
Uhoh... I hit the bottle again as I tell you my own issue with my housemate pulling a fast one on me and being a spoiled man-child while throwing away a decent friendship in order to be a pothead lump playing video games all day. As you can tell, I am still a little bitter about it.
06:15
January 23, 2020
How to Overcome The Agony of Underdeveloped Men
A little out of it while making this episode, but the pain is still real. This is what happens when you extend a hand to someone and give them a chance only to have them hide behind the need to be a hobby video game star and never contribute to the house. I am more upset at myself, but this episode will touch on my frustrations with another underdeveloped man.
06:38
January 22, 2020
Awareness: Dealing with People
And how that dealing with people causes me to drink... Often... 
06:56
January 21, 2020
Awareness: How Do You Trust?
This is what happens when you trust people who are not worth trusting.
05:55
January 20, 2020
Mental Health: Cheating Baseball
It is a little late today, but it is worth it to understand a little more about me and what I believe. Go sport.
06:42
January 18, 2020
Awareness: How Do You Deal with The Business Of Lies?
And how can you cope when you accept the lie as your own?
07:00
January 17, 2020
Awareness: Be Aware of the Marketing Around You
I think this is where we don't have to dive much further into this, right?
06:57
January 16, 2020
Mental Health: Lessons from a Cleaning Session
How I learned something about myself after cleaning up from a dismissed fellow employee
06:58
January 15, 2020
Self-Awareness: Cleaning Reveals Proper Mental Health
If there is one thing we can work with at work and with at home, it is the fact that cleaning makes things better. Of course, one of the side effects are the people who complain about the cleaning or the people who want to stop you. This relates pretty well to your own mental health. If you keep cleaning up yourself, there are going to be people that will react poorly.
06:06
January 14, 2020
Mental Health: I only fail myself
I am my own failure
06:50
January 13, 2020
A Low Energy Day
This episode is much like the notes here today. A low energy day. Gotta take care of the mental health though!
06:33
January 11, 2020
Mental Health: The Poorly Planned Meeting Pain
Pretty much what it says on the tin. A short one about what is happening at the time of this recording.
05:27
January 10, 2020
Twisted Family: When You Admit You're a Bad Parent
When it comes down to bad parenting, some people have the worst. However, in this instance, I am sure I have the laziest. This episode touches on the bad parenting my mother gave me and the bad advice she gave my cousin about one of the best moments in her life: Being a parent.
07:05
January 9, 2020
Twisted Memories: Backed up Mental Plumbing
My plumbing situation today has given me a proper view of my own mentality at this moment and time.
06:47
January 8, 2020
Twisted Memories: Hiding from a Shower
This is where I learned shame and pain with my own care and how I didn't actually take care of it.
06:44
January 7, 2020
Identity: Remembering Why I am Hiding
This one is a classic layout, no swords and gimmicks. Just me and my memory of a painful day in my teenage years.
07:09
January 6, 2020
Getting Help: Beware Predatory Mentoring
Simply because at this point, you are going to do something worse by listening to the predators than the person who knows you and what you have to offer.
06:45
January 4, 2020
Self-Care: Are You Wasting Your Time?
This question lingers often around our actions and our ideas. We hear it from everyone who is successful and who is aware that you are wasting your time. But why do they think you are wasting your time? What could you do differently to make sure this is taken care of? The answer is easier than you might believe. You aren't wasting time. You are avoiding lies and confusion. They want something from you and you aren't giving them what they want. Keep that in mind the next time someone tells you that you are just wasting time.
06:45
January 3, 2020
Mental Health: How to Learn From a Bad Book
This year's challenge is to get back into books and get the most out of them as I can. Of course, reading traditionally is never a good idea and reading a bad book can be discouraging, especially for us. So, start flipping around and find the gems you can find.
06:45
January 2, 2020
The Start of a New Year
The last year started with death, so perhaps this year will start with some life. This is where I start rambling about what to do to improve and grow.
07:09
January 1, 2020
To The End of an Odd Year
A simple episode, just thinking about 2019 and what happened. Have a safe new year out there!
07:06
December 31, 2019
Mental Health: Stop Using Terrible Standards
This means looking at the people you are around and what they have to offer you in regards to your life. Some of the people I have in my life don't have standards and often will not accept me as a complete package, which means I have to be better at choosing my career and my associates.
06:45
December 30, 2019
Twisted Memories: You Should Hate Dogs
Ah, the memories of my mother trying to get me in line by making me fear what I loved the most. Isn't that what gaslighting is all about?
06:45
December 28, 2019
Twisted Memories: You're Too Expensive
If there is one thing I carry with me through my life, it is being a burden on someone else. It is being a burden on their time, their budget, and their efforts. No wonder I always believe I am a burden on society. I am telling you, this mirror trick really does work!
06:45
December 27, 2019
Improving Mental Health: The Mirror
If you want to get a message to yourself, sometimes the best way to do so is to look in the mirror. The trick often is to recite things to yourself repeatedly in hopes it will get through your thick skull, but sometimes it is better to tell yourself the truth. It stings, it hurts, but it is needed in these days.
06:45
December 26, 2019
Mental Health: Celebrating With Holiday Fear
I take a moment in my life and help decide what I would do in a different light.  Merry merry to one and all!
06:45
December 25, 2019
Mental Health: How To Stop Disappointing Myself
It is always difficult to listen to a bubbling toilet and understand that this is also my mind draining of all the poison (for the time being). I have to work on my sales skills, and it is not my most favorite thing. This is why I have my pretend job is to work on that, but it is also a chance for me to keep tripping on my face and getting frustrated. It is about releasing control. I hate releasing control.
06:45
December 24, 2019
Holiday Health: Don't Get Caught in the Lie
In this moment of holiday cheer and festivities, I know it can be difficult to see through the lies and expose the truth. The real reason why they are upset with you not celebrating this time of year isn't that they are concerned about you. No, they are upset about you ruining the perfect holiday they had built up in their head. While it might seem a little cruel and rude, it is a known issue that many people will say and do outrageous things in order to have the "perfect holiday."
14:09
December 23, 2019
Personal Mental Health Symbols: For the Love of Sigyn
This one is pretty simple. It is a small exploration for one of the Norse goddesses and how it can apply to myself and those who struggle with their own perceptions and lives.
06:45
December 21, 2019
Mental Health: How Responsible Am I?
Of course, we have to touch on the fact of how responsible I am about this situation because you can't have that without examining your own place in this world.
06:45
December 20, 2019
Twisted Memories: Gaslighting Inherited
This is where I start talking about some of the gaslighting that got me here today. How the small amount of gaslighting helped destroy the person I would become in hopes that eventually the people who broke me would see me for someone valuable and able to love.
06:45
December 19, 2019
Mental Health: Our Serious Challenge of Surviving
This one touches on the ending of life and the confessions of people who have opened up about wanting to end their life. I am very tearful here, but I am okay. It was a very powerful moment.
06:45
December 18, 2019
Twisted Memories: Prostitutes for the Lord
I've told this story to close friends because it is entertaining, but I figure I should let this get out there in the wild and let the universe here it. No wonder I am always depressed. In a nutshell: The people I used to look up to now turned to offer me a woman to come back to the church.
06:45
December 17, 2019
Twisted Memories: Long Hard Well Out Of Hell
The first instance of misinformation and fake news in my life was thanks to TBN and the church, It was the Well to Hell in Russia (later to be Finland with Satan and bats).
06:45
December 16, 2019
Twisted Memories: Your Father Possibly Died
Today we delve into a memory that popped into my head for one reason or another. I was thinking about how to improve things once the new year started and this little gem popped up.  My mother tried to gaslight me into believing my father died in the Oklahoma City Bombing simply because she was so full of hate for the man that she had to tear him down in front of me. Granted, I was already replaced by my father with another son, but that is okay.
06:45
December 14, 2019
Mental Health: What Does It Require Of Me
It is another axiom reaction as we delve into "It is not what I want, it is what the job requires of me." These things are always difficult because we always have our ego in place. Having an ego is the only real thing we know, but when working together, we have to set those things aside and move on because the job requires it. Can you think of places where this fits in your life?
06:46
December 13, 2019
Mental Health: We Always Think About Ourselves
In this episode, I am going over a few of my axioms I always think about when I am in a pressure situation. This first one is an old staple for me that I use often in conversations regarding people and their interactions.
08:51
December 12, 2019
Episode 300: The Demon of Drunkenness
Of course, this was recorded after a long night out debating a drunk demon so I am not at my best either, but this interaction really did give me something to think about. What sort of control do I have over myself as I watch someone who has no control making a mockery of everything and everyone? None. This is why my life is out of control, with my expectations so high and my results so low, of course I would have a problem. The only thing that keeps me stable is the thin veneer of civility that comes with being a member of that tribe. It is something to consider while pushing for another 100 episodes.
10:57
December 11, 2019
Depression: The Absurd Need to Admire Lazy Lists
I know it is hard to live this life, but the harder thing to do is to identify with a list. Whether it is a genuine list of things that can save your life or a witty list put together by a college kid hoping to make ends meet, lists are always dangerous to tinker with. I react simply to The Hillarious World of Depression and their episode Depressions' 11 Big Lies: Exposed. My words are not to tear down the episode but to expose the gap in lazy thinking. It isn't a list that will get the ball rolling, but understanding the third side on a coin many of us forgets exists.
07:22
December 10, 2019
Awareness: I was the Christmas Present
Have you ever wondered why someone doesn't celebrate a specific holiday or participate in a gift exchange? This story is my own and it is all about my own pain, but it will also shed some light on the thinking in this situation.
08:10
December 9, 2019
Heartbreaking Truth: "Managing Up" is Self-Care
Even though we all hate it, we know we have to chase people down who need to give us something. We have to keep after them if we want to make this work.  It shouldn't have to be this way, but we're often too high on conscientious and expect people will do things because we do them. Remember the adage "People care about themselves and their own situation 99% of the time."
08:14
December 7, 2019
Self-Improvement: Studying my Absurd Failure
This is where I run into my old nemesis, my people-pleasing and my inability to slow down and stick up for myself. Of course, I am fully responsible for this issue and I have to do everything to correct it, but what about the people who are supposed to give guidance and goals in the work sphere?
06:56
December 6, 2019
Shame and Guilt: Who is Responsible for Shame?
I try to answer this, but obviously I get nowhere other than my own life issues.
07:26
December 5, 2019
Mental Health: The Last Goodman Writing Project
My reactions to what people missed when they were bonding together to help me.
07:12
December 4, 2019
Mental Health: I am Not a Real "Man"
Of course, I have all the bits and everything to qualify me as a male, but I am not a "man" simply because of my past, my feelings, and the future that looks barren of family and "legacy." The show refers to The Goodman Project writings I had to offer and the fact I had to lie to myself to put up two pieces that didn't land well there caused me to question everything I do in the future when it comes to my audience.
06:47
December 3, 2019
Mental Health: The Shame My Church Donated To Me
This is where I start to struggle with faith and belief in myself and with other people.  This is where people used their fear of talking about a disgusting subject and tried their best (and failed) to turn it into a positive. I can assure you this is not the best story I have, but it is the formative years of my life.
06:45
December 2, 2019
Abuse Awareness: Am I Evil?
I am man, yes I am! Of course, this episode touches on some of the tougher aspects of my family background and more of the situations I found myself in when I was living with my family. My grandmother was a witch, my grandfather was a satanist. My parents were religious in hopes they could distance themselves from it. I get a nifty connection to a Metallica cover that I obsessed over when I was 15.
07:52
November 30, 2019
Pressure: The Tyranny of 10 Ideas
If there is one thing I can't stand, it is someone selling you an idea to get you to buy certain things. The only thing worse is getting two people to sell you things.  Of course, the real entertainment comes from these people colliding with each other and fighting over which way is better because they expose the game and also dole out unintended wisdom in the process. 10 ideas are fine. 10 ideas every day are terrible. 3 pages of long handwriting are fine. 3 pages of long handwriting every day is tyranny. Beware these people because they are only giving you a small fraction of what worked for them in hopes you will buy courses, training, or some other failed sales opportunity to get themselves more money.
07:08
November 29, 2019
Connections: Are You Thankful for Your Friends?
It is that time of year, and also that time for me to catch up on what I missed while I was uploading.
06:55
November 28, 2019
Mental Health Awareness: Are We Stronger Than We Think?
This is a good question, but I am not sure if the answer is accurate or not.
06:45
November 27, 2019
Mental Health Awareness: Do We Tax Mental Poverty?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a mentally rich world? How about a mentally poor one? We all know the stigma attached to admitting you have a mental health issue but are you taxed more because of it?
06:53
November 26, 2019
Depression: Is Your Town Betraying You?
When you think about what your hometown resembles, what do you think of? Do you think of something amazing and beautiful? Something cohesive and aware?  How about betrayal and greedy? This is what my town, Santa Cruz, has turned into over the last few decades. Gone are the days of trying to prop up the community with skilled jobs. Now, people have to work four to five jobs just to make ends meet here. It is also a great view of our own mental health and how we avoid doing anything for ourselves, eventually betraying our trust and our future in the process. Also: Rolling blackouts suck. Did these in the early 2000's, looks like I'll be experiencing them from the grave.
07:03
November 25, 2019
Mental Health Science: Questioning the Stanford Experiment
What do you think when you hear about the Stanford Experiment? Do you think about tyranny and the hatred of all things structure? Do you think of science gone wrong where a narrative drove what was the best and the brightest to act their worst for money and fame? What if the whole thing was fake and the people who used this example are actually building their arguments on sand? This is what we must consider when dealing with mental health and the science thereof. If you don't question what is being put in front of you, you will often find you are accepting something blindly that isn't true. No one will ever get better at this than you when it comes to your mental health care.
06:56
November 23, 2019
Failed Journal Ideas: Free Me from Freeform
This is another journal style that failed me in my attempts. Before anyone says I didn't do this long enough, I had multiple stretches of 90 days and nothing happened other than frustration and disconnection. If this style is for you, I admire you for doing it. I wish that I could. 
07:01
November 22, 2019
Failed Journal Ideas: Why Gratitude Eludes Me
It is as it says on the tin. I can't be grateful, especially in the journal method.
07:11
November 21, 2019
Mental Health Journal: Why Do I Need to Hate Myself?
This episode explores one of my attempts to do the 5 WHYs with a very difficult question. It gets to a small root of a larger tree about why I believe I was a mistake, unwanted, unloved, and needing to end it all. This also exposes the child-like idea that ending myself will make the people in question love me again because I am not a burden to them. I will give them what they always wanted. Except I have already given those people what they wanted and they still have no love for me.  Again, a childish view. If you have any thoughts like this, please go see someone and get help. You don't have to face this alone, nor do you have to feel like you are a burden to anyone you work or live with.
06:51
November 20, 2019
Depression: My 5 Whys of Needing To...
Die. This episode touches on something I hear cropping up recently in the community as well as my own brain. I decided to get the root of this situation by exercising the 5 Whys again and determined that I was running into some familiar problems and whatnot. Getting this into writing helped me understand the levels I kept falling and my expectations I wasn't meeting. This sounds like a bad episode, but it is actually the result of freeing questions.
06:51
November 19, 2019
Mental Health Awareness: How I Noticed Emotional Immaturity
This episode was driven and motivated by a video from The School of Life called How To Test Emotional Maturity. It is evident in my life that I am not emotionally mature in any way. This is due to the fact I was brought up to raise my mother in her time of need. I come to the conclusion that even if I had a different parent, it would be the same result simply because my father also struggled with his own parental issues and emotional immaturity. It isn't on them to make me better, much like it isn't my friends' place to make me feel better. When I watched the video I did flinch a bit as these replies are my standard operating procedure. I know I can't alter my attitude, but I know I can learn more and apply it to my life.
06:55
November 18, 2019
Isolation at Work: When You're Too Smart
I think it has happened to most of us who are dealing with mental health issues. We tend to be so self-sufficient that we are left to our own devices. We're given leeway because of how smart and driven we can be. Instead of dealing with it head-on, we often feel that we can't help but feel isolated and alone. This is where the dangers of working with others can come into play, especially if we are not ready and able to take care of everything on our own. I have had many pretend employers do this to me. While I appreciate it, it isn't what I need. What I need is to know that what I am doing is correct, that there isn't anything I need to change, and that I have a person to go to if I really have a question. Most times, it is an us v. them mentality that doesn't work well in the modern work world. If you feel the same, let me know!
08:28
November 16, 2019
Best Journal Ideas: Ask Questions
While we might not think our lives are lead by the unanswered questions, we know this to be untrue. We question what the meaning of existence is, if a deity is real, or if Coke Zero is Satan's magic among other things that distract us throughout our days. This journal idea tests that idea and asks the question: What question do you need to be answered in order to find peace? This is not an easy thing to do as it requires you to be really honest with yourself. You can use it with the other episode of the 5 whys to help you get the bottom of what you are looking for. It might even help shed some light on things you have ignored or forgotten. Looking for better journal ideas? Click this link for some ideas. They don't sponsor the show, this is a blind assist to those of us who need it.
07:17
November 15, 2019
Best Journal Ideas: The 5 Whys of Quality Control
Once introduced by Sakichi Toyoda of Toyota fame, this quality control method of questioning why can help get to the bottom of many manufacturing issues. This also can apply to the mental health world as well. Five Whys can help you look for answers you cannot understand at the moment or things you have forgotten about. It can help you see things from another perspective and perhaps get you pointed in the right direction for change. While you don't have to do this daily, doing it when needed can help you find direction in a directionless world. If you want to find out more about the 5 whys, click here
06:53
November 14, 2019
Mental Health Questions: Why Do People Need To Fix Love?
The easiest answer is they are fixated on their own lives and their own health.  People think of themselves and their own situation 99% of the time. This is why people never hear you when you tell them what is wrong. This is why people will check out in the middle of the conversation because you are not appealing to their sensibilities. This is why they will always tell you what worked for them because they can't handle the cognitive dissonance in their own life. So, the next time you hear this, you will know they are trying to fix themselves, not you.
06:45
November 13, 2019
Mental Health: No Idea What Love Is
And I don't know if I want something to show me.
07:08
November 12, 2019
Mental Health: Limiting the Dopamine Rush
While I am not being a monk like some of the others out there, I am trying my best to limit what I can do and how I can do it. Of course, this means operating within constraints, which is always difficult.
06:47
November 11, 2019
Depression: Control is a Myth
In this year of the time, we are always vying for control. Control of our situation, control of our attitude, control of our families as they go on and on about how much of a failure we are. Control is a myth, it is a lie set up by the need to control the past and change the present. At least, it is for me. The need to be in control while also damaging myself is the justice needed in order to make up for being sold as a commodity. When I think about it, I know this is my attempt at a self-imposed justice.
06:47
November 9, 2019
Mental Health: Embrace My Need for Chaos
Yes, this is the chaos episode or why I need to be a little restless.  It is a deep routed issue where my life is about trying to use instability to prevent death. Twisted logic, but when you had to parent yourself since you were 13, it is an apt idea. Also, my parents blew barrels of whales.
06:45
November 8, 2019
Mental Health: A Survey on Sabotage
This is where we start finding out about some of my own issues with sabotage. Of course, it isn't all about self-sabotage, but this assessment helps with the idea of getting in my own way more often than not. I recommend you check out your profile as well at positiveintelligence.com
06:57
November 7, 2019
Depression: Why You Think Managers Conspire Against You
Sometimes you have to understand that the world isn't against you. Sometimes you have to accept that even in your lowered mental health state, the world doesn't care enough to register what happened. When you are aware of the narrative, you understand what happens in the world and also know that you are not the focal point of the issue.
07:13
November 6, 2019
Depression: Who do you need to watch for your mental health?
Simple as the name on the tin says!
06:45
November 5, 2019
Connection: Are We Like Family?
What sort of person attempts to get out of confrontation by using this phrase, "We are like family?" While we might get frustrated with them, we also have to accept that not everyone gets involved with conflicts well. It is their worst fear, being hated and upset. Even though it is considered a real skill to navigate those waters, it is interesting to note what Manager Tools often says about this situation: Conflict is two people in the same county. The next time you struggle with conflict, consider why. 
06:45
November 4, 2019
Depression: The Half Point of Life
If there is one thing that drives me mad, it is the attempt to make a non-family situation a family situation. As listeners of this podcast, I am sure you already know being a family member to me is probably a death sentence. That being said, how many people excuse poor behavior because they don't want to confront you?
07:00
November 2, 2019
Connections: How Do You Overcome Trust Issues?
If you find out, can you let me know? It's a difficult situation. You barely trust yourself, but you also want to trust others. You can't do that either. There are many methods to build trust in others, you have to test it out on yourself first. Find the openings in your schedule. Look for ways to change your trust. Work within a structure. Understand why you're wasting time and how you can proceed from there. All these things help you find trust in yourself. The real question is who is letting you down in your personal life and what can you do to make the change?
06:51
November 1, 2019
Memories: I Remember Halloween
This holiday is full of interesting things, but it is also full of bad memories and the death of celebrating any sort of holiday in my family. Of course, you have to realize this was intentional as my own beliefs were destroyed by the people who didn't have much to go on and had no money to even try. On this day, be safe and be sound. Don't party too hard and enjoy the interesting costumes out there. Also, be wary of those who wish to ban costumes. This is a slippery slope of ghoulish proportions. 
06:54
October 31, 2019
Depression: I'm Cursed to Fail
WIth the sickness wave passing, I now must face the coughing fits and possible pneumonia. Of course, this means I get to reflect on my past and where I constantly fail myself. Where this becomes an issue and how I limit my life and my abilities. It comes, of course, down to money and the obsession to worship money as a deity.
06:52
October 30, 2019
Mental Health: The Compounding Illness
Pretty simple, says it on the tin.  I am not good, but it is expected. I am not getting better, but it is expected. I am sick, so that isn't helping. The compounding illness indeed.
06:47
October 29, 2019
Mental Health: I Refuse to Hide My Illness
During my time off physical sickness, it also brings to light my struggles with mental illness during the season. Seasonal illness is the worst, but it is also made worse by the situations at hand. No hope, no change, no focus. Nothing will make things better. These months, it is best to ride it out and try to catch up at the same time. If you have a story you'd like to share about your struggles with seasonal depression, I would love to hear it!
06:52
October 28, 2019
Depression: What is True Love?
You might know what love is, but I have no idea. Everything I thought was love was instead control. Everything I loved I pushed away. Everyone I loved I eventually betrayed. These are the terrible things you have to face when you are coping with gaslighting. You are not alone if you are detached from love.
06:45
October 26, 2019
Mental Health: The Weakening of Narcissists
This isn't to say we are sticking up for narcissists. Instead, we are lumping in people who we don't agree with and calling them narcissists. We want to give them a stigma so they will relent and admit their wrong-doing. The slippery slope we experience is when we start using words to define something that isn't correct is quite dangerous indeed.
06:50
October 25, 2019
Depression: Never Let Politics Ruin a Good Time
As it says on the tin. Strap in and let the body politic run away in your mind!
06:46
October 24, 2019
Mental Health: Can We Be Negative for a Minute?
How about seven minutes? This episode touches on how gaslighting destroyed my positivity and turned me into the ever aware and always tired abuse victim. If you have been gaslighted, you are not alone. You have my empathy.
07:01
October 23, 2019
Mental Health: The Power of Negativity
That's right, we're addressing it here and now. Negativity is actually okay.  You are told far too often that positivity wins the day and you can achieve more by being positive. Think about the people who are telling you this. Think about what they are trying to hide or how they are trying to disguise their pain. The most vocal are the ones most vulnerable.
06:45
October 22, 2019
Connections: Who Will We Miss?
A-ha! You thought this Friendship thing was over? NEVER! Actually, it is a good point no matter the time to understand who was important in our lives and how they helped us change for the better. Do you think you can recall who you miss?
06:45
October 21, 2019
Connections: Who Will Help You?
This "Questioning of the Friends" week comes to a close with the idea of taking stock of your friends and connections. While we often don't want to impose on anyone, we cannot continue alone.  Not everyone is willing and able to make your health a part of their life. We can't really fault them either. Who we need are people who are familiar with these situations. People who are ready and willing to dive into the mire because they have been there before. Those people are rare, but we need to continue the search while understanding some connections are not going to give you the same depth.
07:01
October 19, 2019
Depression: What Do They Think of You?
In this world, we often wonder what people think about us. From our friends to our enemies, we crave the feedback to know we are either on course or we are suffering from massive drift. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can act like blinders to us all. How do we compensate? How do we correct? How do we stay the course?
07:05
October 18, 2019
Event: Standing at Three Hundred
This is the podcast's 300th episode (if you count the lost episodes that sounded as if I were underwater).  I didn't expect the show to go this well or this long. I quit once, but that was before I realized this show had some potential and some reach. I couldn't have done it without you. The numbers are amazing, but the outreach is more amazing. Here is to another 300 episodes!
08:01
October 17, 2019
Depression: The "My Dying Bride" Incident
What happens when you find a life-defining album? If you're anyone normal, you tell everyone about it. You share in the connection and build bonds. If you were my former best friend, you would shame people until they didn't want to connect or they changed their music choice. Luckily we had the same tastes for most things, but this one moment revealed the flaw in our stars. I was going to have to go this musical expression alone.
07:00
October 16, 2019
Connections: Your Friends Don't Believe You
If there is one thing we all suffer, it is the fact our friends don't believe in our mental health issues. From "It is the devil inside you" to "false science is dragging our society down," we can't reliably depend on these people to support us in our lives, much less help us in our darkest times. Like me, you have more people who don't believe in your mental health issues than do. What do you do? How do you cope?
07:21
October 15, 2019
Mental Health: Dealing With a Shameful Present
What happens when you meet your own friendship mortality? You often are exposed to the shame of being alive. Your flaws are exposed like a fresh wound and no matter how you try, you still struggle. What can you do to get over this shameful hump?
08:27
October 14, 2019
Belief: Our Faithful Fear and Us
This is a story about being accosted by a holy man at a bus stop. Is there more to it? I will allow your ears and your mind to find a meaning.
07:03
October 12, 2019
Mental Health: Don't Follow the Social Dictators
As it says on the tin, don't follow the social dictators. This isn't referring to your favorite politician, your local sports team, or the shade of your spectrum. This is more akin to being shamed because you aren't doing the right thing, the best thing, and you will be excommunicated from the group. The social dictators control you as much as the depression roaring inside your head right now. Be careful who you give power to.
06:45
October 11, 2019
Connections: Why Don't We Question the News?
While people are getting angry over many things, they rarely stop and question why they should be angry. While they don't stop and question why they should be angry, they also don't question what is fueling the news story. Cool story, bro. When you see someone getting caught up in the cancel culture or the latest news fad, ask why they are doing it and where they are getting their fact from. Facts are not sexy, but they are facts.
06:54
October 10, 2019
Connections: Is Our Dark Humor Bad?
You might get upset at people for laughing at the worst moments or having the worst timing ever, but dark humor is a way for some of us to cope with our dark pasts. While you might never joke about it, some need it.  You can't help but laugh at some people's tragic backstory if only to prevent you from crying along the way.
06:49
October 9, 2019
Mental Health: Are You the One in Ten?
While I struggle with being the one in four of males who survived sexual abuse, I am not the one in ten that suffer from post natal depression. Until now, I wasn't even aware of this being a thing, but I learn something new every day. What is worse is we are parsing this out to specific reasons. We are depressed. No matter the cause, depression is the root.
06:46
October 8, 2019
Depression: Is Depression like Cancer?
While this is a shocking question to ask, it is something our peers are discussing. When we screen for mental health like we do with cancer and we target cells and genes that have depression like we do with cancer, are we equating too much? What does the future hold for our world? Does the world actually need depression? Does it need cancer?
06:48
October 7, 2019
Mental Health: Do You Want To Live Forever?
If there is one theme in the mental health world, it is the fact we want short lives because we don't want to burden anyone with our broken minds and hearts. However, there is a push from the other side (the mentally healthy side) that wants to live forever and defies death along the way. Now, which side is actually mentally healthy?
06:58
October 5, 2019
Mental Health: Why Do We Accept So Little?
This is a great question for us to consider as we move through our days. Why do we shortchange ourselves when it comes to our care? Why do we want so little for ourselves even when we sacrifice so much for other people? What are we hiding? Why are we hiding from ourselves?
06:56
October 4, 2019
Depression: Do We Set Our Table Poorly?
There is one thing we must consider when we are getting our lives together. Are we being proper stewards for ourselves or are we letting our narrative get out of control? Are we going to be better people with continual improvement and learning, or will we let our rut consume us?
06:55
October 3, 2019
Mental Health: Do You Suffer From Your Story?
I love me a great conspiracy theory. The thing about a good conspiracy isn't that it is off the wall, but how devoted the conspirator is at trying to tie everything together in a neat little bow.  We do this far too often in our own struggles with mental health.  We believe we have the odds stacked against us. It is part of the human narrative. You've probably heard my own narrative going through these episodes as you listen. As you might recall, I love me a great conspiracy theory.
06:45
October 2, 2019
Connections: Are You Aware of your Venting?
We all do it in one shape or form. We vent to someone about our day, our clothes, or the injustices in the world. While blowing off steam is great, you also want to make sure you don't go overboard on the venting. Sometimes you dig yourself a bigger hole by doing so. Do you struggle with proper venting? Share with me on Twitter!
06:47
October 1, 2019
Connections: Be a Person of your Word
If there is one thing we fail on when we are depressed, it is being a person of our word. From failing to take care of ourselves in a proper manner to not following through on our promises, we believe we are the one person we can shortchange. The funny part is shortchanging ourselves leads to more problems than one might admit. The idea isn't to be perfect, but it is to keep continually improving on something. Anything. Do you struggle with keeping your word? Let me know on Twitter!
06:51
September 30, 2019
Depression: Dealing With The S Word
We know it when we feel it, and we mourn it when it happens to others.  We have lost far too many people to it, but we also know we can be consumed by it at any point. You know the feeling and what it means to us all. You can also tell I've faced those demons multiple times. Have you ever faced it yourself? What did you do to stay with us?
06:53
September 28, 2019
Self-Care: Stop Feeding the Abnormal Wolf
There old tale says you are the wolf you feed. Either the darkness or the light. However, the wolf we feed as people struggling with our mental health is the abnormal one. It is the wolf with social stigma and terrible perfectionism that is far from perfect. We must watch what we obsess over and we must monitor our mob mentality. Do you struggle with this wolf and how hungry it can be? Share with me on Twitter!
06:53
September 27, 2019
Connections: No Social Media Pill Here
We are a part of a cancel culture. From false accusations to poor decisions being made for everyone to see, we do not have a leg to stand on when it comes to our mental health these days. I am not immune to it as I have sinned many times. This is where grace battles the roar of perfection. We want to boil out humanity in order to make this work, yet we cannot be humans without making mistakes and receiving grace because of it. Do you suffer with perfectionism in your social feeds? Share with me on Twitter!
06:58
September 26, 2019
Depression: Too Poor to Be Healthy
I don't know about you, but the idea of having better health (both mentally and physically) stings the wallet far more than it stings the mind. We have priced ourselves out of the healthcare market, now accepting that survival is the best track we can have in this world without losing our homes and our jobs. These are not golden handcuffs but social loadstones. We aren't worthy enough, or are we? Do you struggle with paying for your own care? Share with me on Twitter!
06:45
September 25, 2019
Mental Health: Do We Perpetuate the Stigma?
Are we responsible for our own issues when it comes to the stigma of mental health? Are we shooting ourselves in the foot by striving for a perfection that will never come? Does being a martyr contribute to your depression? All this and more! Do you struggle with perpetuating the stigma? Share with me on Twitter!
07:01
September 24, 2019
Personal Care: You're the First Priority
When it comes to everything, make sure you are taking care of yourself first. There is no reason to sacrifice everything in order to make someone else happy. No matter what, it will never work out well if you don't give yourself some grace first. Do you struggle with self-care? Share with me on Twitter!
07:04
September 23, 2019
Mental Health: The Shame We Feel In Others
In our struggles to be perfect, we often will feel ashamed by others in the process. We will drag them down in order to hide our own failures. We will hope no one notices the pain and humiliation we feel as we must struggle more and more with our demons. This is why it is important to give ourselves (and others) grace at this moment. We aren't perfect, and our mental health state shows us this. Take a moment and be sure to give yourself leeway today. Have you ever been caught in feeling ashamed of others?  Share with me on Twitter!
07:03
September 21, 2019
Mental Health: Why Do We Hate Redemption?
This society is built on redemption. It thrives on it. Why must we give into the cancel culture and the mob that needs perfection to be the normal? Why do we tolerate people being thrown under the bus in order to satiate the masses? We do this because we are afraid of our own mental health and our own shortcomings. We don't want people to know we are imperfect, so we bring down others to hide this fact. What does redemption mean for you? Share with me on Twitter!
06:55
September 20, 2019
Skills: Advice Is Never Free
This means the advice you get from someone is never going to be free. There is always a cost in getting advice, much like there is always a cost in giving it. Be wary of those who offer advice when they are not asked for it as they are suffering from the perfectionist bug as much as you are. I know, I have suffered from this often. What was the worst piece of advice you received while working? Share with me on Twitter!
07:03
September 19, 2019
Mental Health: Free Services are Never Free
In this world of free care, those services are never free.  Much like social media, you are paying a price for them. You are also dealing with the social stigma in your group or your place of work because of this issue. This price is rarely discussed, but is often paid in anxiety and depression. This is why it is so hard to go from zero to one when it comes to talking about your past. Have you taken advantage of free care? What was your experience like? Share with me on Twitter!
07:04
September 18, 2019
Connection: Beware the Pod People
You might believe you have found the right people, but the pods you believe in might actually do you more harm than good. In this cut throat world of social sharing and likes, the pods seem like a great idea until the content is not what you expected and the rules you discover are the most restrictive you've ever seen in your life. No wonder pods are frowned upon by most people who know about them. You can't prop up your mental health with a good pod. Have you ever been a part of a pod? What was your experience? Share with me on Twitter!
06:52
September 17, 2019
Mental Health: Why We Must Give Ourselves Grace
There is no exception to this rule. We must be kind to ourselves and make this happen. We are making too many demands of others and ourselves in this situation and it means we cannot give our best if we expect others to be perfect. It also doesn't work when we can't do our best because we also must be perfect. Being our best with our mental health is learning to give ourselves (and others) grace before flying off the handle What sort of grace do you give yourself?  Share with me on Twitter!
06:45
September 16, 2019
Skills: Never Too Early to Obsess Over the Holidays
You might hate me now for bringing it up, but thinking about it now saves stress later. We know it is a minefield already when it comes to interacting with the family. It will never get any easier, so getting prepared is the best way to deal with it. What do you do to combat your family's misconception of what you do? Share with me on Twitter!
07:04
September 14, 2019
Mental Health: Who Closes the Hospitals Down?
This is a companion episode of the surplus in Sacramento dedicated to mental health care. This is what I warned you about when it comes to budget surplus. Even though we are humans, we are often forgotten in the eyes of those who want to care for us.
06:52
September 13, 2019
Skills: Why am I Responsible?
Quite simply because you must be.  These are the things we must consider when we grapple with our own mental health. What small things do you do to be responsible? Share with me on Twitter!
06:58
September 12, 2019
Mental Health: Why Should You Be Normal?
As people who struggle with mental health, we try so hard to be normal. We want people to love us and we strive to be perfect because of it. We are not robots, we are human beings. However, we believe we can will ourselves to be better. This is not how people get better. You need to embrace your weird. Do you have anything you are proud to be weird about? Share it with me on Twitter!
07:00
September 11, 2019
Mental Health: Are You Mentally Weak?
Of course you aren't, but there are now pre-screening tests telling you how mentally tough you are. When it comes to carrying the burden of your life, you are not weak. You are strong. Stronger than you believe. Stronger than anyone might give you credit for. Don't ever let someone tell you different. Don't let a test tell you different.
06:57
September 10, 2019
Skills: Twenty Hours of Life-Saving Mastery
We all think we have to be masters with 10,000 hours under our belt to make a difference in the world. This only makes the mental health issues even worse when we believe we have to be perfect. It paralyzes us because we already don't believe we are worthy, right? So, what can we do? Shoot for a smaller goal. Look at mastering something for 20 hours. You will get good at something and it might open the doors for something more than what you might believe. Do you have something you enjoy doing a few minutes a day (keep it clean kids!)? Share with me on Twitter!
07:08
September 9, 2019
Depressed Life: What Does it All Mean?
This is a recap of the entire week, so if you haven't listened to the previous episodes, I'd recommend it. Remember, you suffer from depression and depression grows in silence.
07:08
September 7, 2019
Depressed Life: Mourning Shall Hit You
In this week of sound, we hit the moments where I accept loss, mourning, and depression. Cancer sucks, and it always will. This is a short note description because it explains it all.
06:54
September 6, 2019
Depressed Life: The Dark Environment of my Youth
What caused this music to shape my life? This episode touches on it and then some. This is a darker episode so do keep this in mind before you download. I've told my story, but this is a recap of a small section. Do you have any stories like this? Share with me!
07:12
September 5, 2019
Depressed Life: The Music of my Darkness
What surprising songs of your past make things bearable? This episode touches on the weird music I use to calm my darker memories and how I can combat the darkness. These songs will surprise you as I know they surprised me. They are not my usual rotation. Still, they are a part of me and I have no shame that they exist. What sort of music do you listen to from your past? Tell me on Twitter!
07:02
September 4, 2019
Depression: The Music of my Dark Past
What music reminds you of your dark past? Mine are on full display here as I talk about the key moments and key memories to some of the more interesting songs I tend to listen to in my dark place. We all believe we must have positive music to overcome our darkness. Sometimes the positive music doesn't make a difference in the world. Sometimes you need the darkness in your ears to make the world make sense. What is dark for you is not dark for me, so never let anyone tell you that your music is a terrible choice What music do you listen to in your time of need? Tell me on Twitter!
06:59
September 3, 2019
Mental Health: Are You Waiting to be Fixed?
This episode touches on why we wait to be perfect before we can help someone. I know I am not perfect. I suffer from depression, anxiety, shame, and many other things. However, I can help stop someone from cutting themselves or ending their life because I have experience. I am not the person they should look to for help, but I am here and I can help. Never doubt you are valuable. You might question why, but it is who you can help. There will always be someone who needs your experience to help them through their depression and anxiety. Do you think you need to be perfect? Tell me on Twitter!
06:51
September 2, 2019
The Mind: Listen to the Inner Tyrant
How often do you tear yourself down over the course of a day? Where did it come from and how can you escape? You have to face it and start writing down what it says in order to make this work. If you don't, you will never understand why you have to feel so terrible about yourself. Have you ever struggled with the inner tyrant? Share with me on Twitter!
07:05
August 31, 2019
Mental Health: Are You Willing to Sacrifice?
If you want something, you are going to have to sacrifice. This episode touches on what happens when you must choose between the current luxury and the end of the world. We are working ourselves into a shoot wanting the best of both worlds without really paying for it in the process. Are you willing to make sacrifices? Are you willing to change everything? With those sacrifices comes the inability to connect with people around the world. Are you ready to choose? Share with me on Twitter!
07:05
August 30, 2019
Depression: Is It Impossible to Find a Reason Why?
How often have you been told you need to have a reason why in order to exist? It is annoying, isn't it? We existed for millions of years without a need, yet in the last 50 years we had to define our reasons why while in the womb. It isn't fair, is it? We already have enough on our plate with anxiety, depression, and all of the other issues. Why do we have to come up with a reason to please other people? Do you have a reason why?
06:55
August 29, 2019
Mental Health: We All Need a Second Chance
What is the worst part of being depressed? We believe we don't deserve a second chance. We have some sort of mythical idea of what we need to achieve and how we can get this done, but we are so strict on our efforts that we'd never achieve any peace. Before you start holding your friend's feet to the fire and accuse them of being callous, look to yourself and see if you are doing the same thing to them and yourself. Give yourself some grace today. Share with me on Twitter!
07:13
August 28, 2019
Self-Care: Are You Trapped by Isolation?
What percentage of isolation is someone else's fault?  0% We believe isolation is inflicted on us because we are trying to be our own unique self. When it comes to mental health, we must understand that even though our struggles are our own, we are not actually alone in our struggles. If we can get one thing through today, it is to dial it back on being unique and dial it up on being a part of a community. Do you think you are suffering from isolation? Share it with me on Twitter!
07:12
August 27, 2019
Treatment: Will an Emergency Line Save You From Your Mind?
If you called a mental health 911, do you believe it would help? I am not sure if it would myself, but I also spoke about how hard it is to get someone to call an emergency crisis line anyway. If we are going to pay for a service that isn't used, then is it a good resource to fund? If you have a stroke or a heart attack, you know what is happening and you know you can get help from three numbers. Do you know you can get the same? Can you trust the people on the other end? Have you ever had to call a Suicide Hotline? Share with me on Twitter!
07:01
August 26, 2019
Treatment: Be Wary of Free Help
If you can get free help, then take advantage of it! However, if you hear about people merely talking about giving you free healthcare without giving you an idea on when it will happen, be vary wary. This isn't to say free healthcare isn't important. It is to say healthcare is on the bottom of the list of many cash strapped counties, cities, and towns. You want to make sure you can take advantage of what is available, but also understand the freebies might not be as impressive as they promise. Do you take advantage of free mental healthcare? Share with me on Twitter!
06:57
August 24, 2019
Mental Health: Are You Getting the Right Information?
Are you sure you are getting the right information? When you reach out for help, are you going to the right places? Are you getting the right idea? I would love to challenge you to question where you are getting your information and guidance. This isn't to doubt you have found a great way to cope, but you also have to understand people have different ways of giving you the "best salvation." Take the rush on dark chocolate when people said it would help with depression, only to have the same issue be the opposite one day later. Don't accept it at face value. Dig a little to get more information. Do you have something you can question? Share it with me on Twitter!
06:57
August 23, 2019
Depression: Does a Second Job Cause Depression?
How often do you hear about work-life balance? We all it is a myth at this point with how we (in America) view life, but we often get push back from well meaning people that to have a wonderful life you have to find meaning in detaching from work. What happens when work is helping people? What happens when you work a second job or "hustle" to do what you love? Are you creating more pain for yourself or are you finding your own voice? What do you think? Share it with me on Twitter!
06:56
August 22, 2019
Mental Health: Will Screening Blacklist You?
What makes talking about mental health so frustrating? The fear you are going to go to prison for your health or that you will be shamed forever more because of your mental clarity. While the idea of pre-screening for mental health issues is fantastic, what we sacrifice is the privacy for us to be not okay in peace. What we risk is losing everything to a misdiagnosis. What we want to avoid is being excommunicated more due to our mental health. Do you have a fear about being screened for your mental health? Share it with me over on Twitter!
06:58
August 21, 2019
Mental Health: Will You Survive the Looming Meltdown?
We all know a storm is brewing, but are we aware of how we can take care of ourselves for the future? Work and home life can be stressful when a recession hits. Add onto it trying to keep your mental health floating on the stormy seas is difficult. Are you ready for the coming change? What will you do to invest now to give yourself the simple freedom later when the wallet is thin and the belt is tight?
06:54
August 20, 2019
Counseling: Will You Use Unused Resources?
If you had a free counselor, would you take advantage of it? When it comes to getting help, the old saying stands true: You can lead a horse to water, but can you make them drink? This applies to the resources schools are now making available to the students in certain colleges. While this is a fantastic idea, the problem is going from zero (asking for no help) to one (talking to someone about your problems). When it comes to finding help, you have to want help first before you actually receive help. This is why this episode might be a little more contrary than you believe. Proper mental health care is critical, but it doesn't do anyone any good if you don't take the first step and seek help. Do you even know if you have free resources available to you? Check here:  https://www.nami.org/ 
07:09
August 19, 2019
Throwing a Bone to Mental Health
Episode
07:12
August 16, 2019
Feeding the Story Trolls
Episode
06:56
August 14, 2019
Human Being vs. Human Business
Episode
06:57
August 13, 2019
Question The Latest Science Push
Episode
06:49
August 12, 2019
Don't Let Epstein's Death Stop Your Life
Episode
06:53
August 10, 2019
The Loss of Innocent Lives
Episode
06:53
August 9, 2019
Watching the Greatness in Others
Episode
06:54
August 8, 2019
The Man in Me
Episode
06:53
August 6, 2019
Fear and the Bicycle
Episode
06:53
August 5, 2019
What Graves Do You Hide?
Episode
06:53
August 3, 2019
The Small Gifts
Episode
06:54
August 2, 2019
Mental Health at Work
Episode
06:54
August 1, 2019
What Does The Position Require?
Episode
06:53
July 31, 2019
Stop Listening to the Treadmill
Episode
06:53
July 30, 2019
Self-Care Routine: Do This To Practice Good Self-Care
Do you suffer from an extreme lack of self-care? While we think there is no way to make up for the extreme lack of care in our life, practicing self-care is easier than you might think. There are many examples, but the ones I think work the most are the simplest. Find one thing that you can do for a few minutes that has an end to it. Whether it is a quick walk to your favorite area, reading a chapter of a good book, or even sitting on the porch for a few minutes during sunset, these things help you more than you would expect. If you build on these and do it every day, you'll see a dramatic increase in your feelings and your upkeep. These tips were provided by Wendi Dunford during The Morning Stream where she appears on Thursdays. She helps the listeners with their problems and comes up with ways for the listeners to develop their own routines. Please stop by and listen! Do you have a routine you like to share? Send a response over to the socials: Twitter - LunchtimeDerpre1
06:53
July 29, 2019
How Do You Affect People?
Episode
06:53
July 27, 2019
How to Control What You Can't Control
Episode
06:53
July 26, 2019
There is No Original Creativity
Episode
06:53
July 25, 2019
Covert Contracts are Never Good
Episode
06:53
July 24, 2019
People Pleasing Kills Me
Episode
06:53
July 23, 2019
I Confess My Forgotten Sins
Episode
06:53
July 22, 2019
The Rules of Stolen Fears
Episode
06:53
July 20, 2019
Don't Get Obsessed With Consistency
Episode
06:53
July 19, 2019
Kaizen and your Improving Depression
Episode
06:53
July 17, 2019
A Queen's Death and Our Mental Health
Episode
06:53
July 16, 2019
This is the Best Answer Discovery
Episode
06:53
July 15, 2019
You Are the Excuse You Make (Classic Episode 3)
Classic Episode
06:54
July 13, 2019
Mental health: Lowering The Barrier to Happiness
If there is one thing I learned  while working at my pretend job, it is to understand that I have to lower my expectations when it comes to happiness. I am someone who likes to provide value, someone who needs to be a part of something greater than myself as my own needs and wants do not matter. This is the curse of my personality type and my survival instinct. When it comes to playing it safe, sometimes you have to sacrifice all your hopes and dreams to make sure the pain doesn't happen for another day.
06:53
July 13, 2019
Drifting into Depression Again
Intro
06:53
July 11, 2019
Exploring the Fears of Depression
Episode
06:53
July 10, 2019
What 43 Years Have Done For Me?
Episode
06:53
July 6, 2019
You Are Worthy of Being Helped
Episode
06:53
July 5, 2019
I'll Fourth Your July
Episode
06:53
July 4, 2019
Our Enemy is the Success Cult
Episode
06:53
July 3, 2019
Screw the Magical Formulas
Episode
06:53
July 2, 2019
Social Media and Mental Health
Episode
06:53
June 29, 2019
What 200 Episodes Have Done For Me
Episode
06:53
June 26, 2019
Will You Gamble With The Living?
Episode
06:53
June 25, 2019
Depression's Cost is TOO HIGH!
Episode
06:53
June 24, 2019
Mental Health First Aid and ALGEE
Link to original article: https://www.clickorlando.com/health/why-you-should-learn-mental-health-first-aid  Link to Mental Health First Aid: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/  ALGEE  "A" stands for "assess for risk of harm or suicide."  "L" stands for "listen non-judgmentally."  "G" is for "give information and reassurance."  "E" is for "encourage professional help if needed." "E" stands for "encourage self-help."
06:53
June 22, 2019
Journaling and the Depressed
Episode
06:53
June 21, 2019
150 Successes Ignored
Episode
06:53
June 20, 2019
Will DMT Solve Depression?
Episode
06:53
June 19, 2019
Never Accept Depression Shaming
Episode
06:53
June 18, 2019
Being One-Hundred Percent Sure
Episode
06:53
June 17, 2019
Self-Inflicted Rejection and Being Friends with Ed
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 15, 2019
Self-Inflicted Rejection and Writing Part 2
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 14, 2019
Self-Inflicted Rejection and Writing Part 1
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 13, 2019
Self-Inflicted Rejection and Me
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 12, 2019
Hitting the Wall on the Lack of Interest
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
05:24
June 11, 2019
Going Back to What I Used to Love
Episode
06:53
June 10, 2019
Planning the Micro not the Macro
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 8, 2019
Why and the Sense of Abandonment
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 7, 2019
Destroying Myself with Depression
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
08:27
June 6, 2019
A Why for the Whyless Part 2
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 5, 2019
A Why for the Whyless Part 1
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 4, 2019
Disappointing People with my Depression
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:53
June 3, 2019
Negative Talk, Depression, and Lazy Thinking
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
07:22
June 3, 2019
That Nasty Self-Doubt Wall
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
07:22
June 1, 2019
Abuse is not Prorated
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
07:22
May 31, 2019
The Roots of Gaslighting in my Family
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:58
May 30, 2019
EMDR and My Depression
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:05
May 28, 2019
Visiting My Alternate Selves
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:10
May 27, 2019
My Depression Cycle
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:10
May 25, 2019
Three Contributions to my Poor Mental Health
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:10
May 24, 2019
The Mean of Depression and the Weather
Episode The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:10
May 23, 2019
Recalling Depressive Moments and Healing
 The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:33
May 22, 2019
Changes for the Depressed
If there is one thing depression does, it makes one very sloppy when it comes to production times and values. This episode is an attempt to express not only my thanks for helping me reach a number I didn't think was possible, but also express my gratitude for you coming back for more.  You'll notice the episode sounds...different. This is because I learned a few tricks and tips that I should have started off when over 5 months ago when I started. Ah well, better late than depressed. Never mind. This is a free plug for novni.com, the website that allows you to post about your depression anonymously and reply to those in need. It doesn't just cover depression, but all the spectrum from anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, anger, and sadness. If you have a few minutes to spare, helping those who need help is always appreciated. Take the thing for a spin and see what you think. I'm still improving, so hopefully it will get better. The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
07:22
May 21, 2019
Am I Truly Wanted?
 The website: Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials: Instagram - MatthewEaton5 Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1 Reddit - Meaton124
06:20
May 20, 2019
Grooming and Gaslighting
 The website:   Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials:   Instagram - MatthewEaton5   Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1   Reddit - Meaton124
06:19
May 18, 2019
Final Fantasy, Sacred Cows, Depression and You
 The website:   Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials:   Instagram - MatthewEaton5   Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1   Reddit - Meaton124
06:02
May 17, 2019
The Grand Story versus the Small Story
 The website:   Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials:   Instagram - MatthewEaton5   Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1   Reddit - Meaton124
06:19
May 16, 2019
Depression is Neither Social Nor Media
The website:   Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials:   Instagram - MatthewEaton5   Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1   Reddit - Meaton124
06:19
May 15, 2019
The Storm Came to Visit
The website:   Lunchtime Depression dot com - The hub for this podcast and whatever might come The socials:   Instagram - MatthewEaton5   Twitter - LunchtimeDepre1   Reddit - Meaton124
06:19
May 14, 2019
The Universal Feedback Machine
Episode
06:19
May 11, 2019