Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE
By Wordhole Media
Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE is an irreverent baseball podcast by a couple of opinionated pricks in Chicago and Detroit. We focus on the Cubs, White Sox, and Tigers as well as the Giants and A’s (long story). We'll also throw out our 2¢ on MLB issues of the day whenever we feel like it.
115 | Off-Season To-Do Lists
CairoMania and LaRussaPalooza reached their dramatic conclusions as the #WhiteSox got swept out of the playoff picture over a miserable 6 days | Will Jerry Reinsdorf spend whatever it takes to keep his ballclub's championship window propped open? | How much blame does Rick Hahn share in the Sox failure? | Can # Tigers' new GM Scott Harris talk Miguel Cabrera into retiring and Justin Verlander into returning? | Tom Ricketts and the #Cubs are out of excuses not to spend BIG on free agents this offseason | #SFGiants need an overhaul, but the timing might be perfect for it | Can cynical minds enjoy the historic home run chases of Aaron Judge and Albert Pujols that seem a little too good to be true? WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
September 27, 2022
114 | Scott Harris Era Begins for the Detroit Tigers
Ken Rosenthal's 'Open Letter to Tony La Russa' is an eye-opening indictment of the entire dysfunctional #WhiteSox organization | Miguel Cairo's firey 'Get the Fuck Out' speech could become the stuff of legend IF they can overtake CLE | Al Avila set a low bar for #Tigers' promising new president, Scott Harris | Trust us — pitch clocks, big bases, and shift bans will NOT ruin baseball | False claims about Freddie Freeman's former agent earn Doug Gottlieb our Asshole of the Week dishonor WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
September 21, 2022
113 | Can we just put 2022 in the Shitter?
Fans everywhere rejoice as #MLB finally put a merciful end to the imbalanced schedule in 2023 | Would Javy Baez and the #Tigers be better off playing 2B? | Does AJ Hinch deserve more heat for the Motor City meltdown? | Where did it all go wrong for the once mighty #SFGiants? | Should the #Cubs bet the farm on Shohei Ohtani if the #LAAngels put him on the market or hold off and finally utilize the might of their money-making empire to buy the unicorn in 2024? | Lord Tom Tunney of Wrigleyville resigns before the authorities come to take him away | Risky business in the Rogers Centre and RingCentral Coliseum gives new meaning to the 500 Club | Video of #Yankees fan blowing a hotdog for a beer goes viral | Who's Andy Rutschman and why are the OOrioles giving him a 20-year, $600M deal? | Aroldis Chapman is into unsanitary leg tattoos | Marcell Ozuna's domestic violence + DUI and Carlos Martinez's PED + domestic violence earn them our co-Assholes of the Week dishonor WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
September 02, 2022
112 | We Back Beyotches!!!
It's been almost a month since our last episode as Smitty selfishly went on vacation, so we have A LOT of ground to cover | Trade deadline comes and goes with very little fanfare for #Cubs #Tigers and #SFGiants | At least Chris Ilitch showed he is paying a bit of attention to his baseball team and finally fired Al Avila even if it was over a month too late | What is Jason Heyward's legacy after Jed Hoyer releases him with over a year left on his $184M contract? | ASSTHETICS: Field of Dreams 2 was the sequel that should've never been made | Chris Sale's bike crash, Rodolfo Castro's cell phone, Pete Rose facing accusations of statutory rape in the 1970s, and the plummeting New York #Yankees highlight all sorts of Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our Asshole of the Month dishonor WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
August 19, 2022
111 | Death March to the Deadline
Looks like we'll be talking about a lot more selling than buying when Smitty gets back from vacation in mid-August | #Cubs hug it out in the dugouts as Willson Contreras plays his last game at Wrigley in Cubbie blue, but Ian Happ's future is a little more complicated | If Tarik Skubal and "just about everyone else" are traded, #Tigers fans are facing another five years of futility as an incompetent Al Avila is inexplicably allowed to embark on a second complete rebuild | "It is what it is" as Andrew Chafin creates his own "unfortunate situation" and earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor | After a brutal seven-game losing streak suddenly makes the #SFGiants sellers instead of buyers, should Carlos Rodón top their inventory list of assets to go? | Former Fuckin' A's draft pick Kyler Murray made the right choice to go to the NFL now that he's making more per year than Oakland's entire payroll | MLB.TV Big Inning could be baseball's equivalent of NFL RedZone WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
July 28, 2022
110 | Some All-Star Break Bullshit
#AllStarGame starts off with a bang and limps to a low-rated finish, but at least the uniforms were MUCh cooler than last year's monstrosities | The FIX was clearly in on the Home Run Derby and all the degenerate gamblers were NOT happy with the Robbery in the Ravine | We hate to break it to you, but here's why [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE TEAM HERE} will NOT win the Juan Soto Sweepstakes | #Cubs are getting sued by the goddam United fucking States Justice Department because Crane Kenney obviously hates disabled people | TEN Royals still won't get vaccinated, an on-field prostate exam brings new meaning to the 7th-Inning Stretch, Chris Sale is broken again, and graphic designer desecrates a national memorial in a very AL East-centric Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment | ESPN and whoever else decided the world needed a SEVEN-FUCING-HOUR documentary about Derek Jeter earned our Assholes of the Week dishonor WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
July 21, 2022
109 | Halfway to Hell
As we reach the midway mark in the 2022 season, the five teams we cover are a combined 57 games BELOW .500 | In #Tigers news Miguel Cabrera makes the All-Star team, Javy Baez is being Javy Baez, Riley Greene is off to one hell of a start to his #MLB career, Chris Ilitch and Al Avila should just stop talking, and Eduardo Rodriguez has ghosted the ball club | Carlos Correa sheds new light and sparks some hope he might eventually sign with Detroit or the #Cubs | If Wrigley Field is an "underwhelming, stock, standard ballpark" then Fenway Park is a total shithole | Will the sinking #SFGiants be buyers or sellers at the trade deadline? | Fuckin' A's may have dodged a bullet with Frankie Montas' shoulder situation, but four unfortunate fans couldn't | Kyle Schwarber is fulfilling his 'Babe Fucking Ruth' destiny in Philadelphia in spite of Chicago | MAIL FRAUD: Would you pick 3 teams to win the World Series or take the field? | #Padres' LOUD new City Connect uniforms really sting the retinas | Sample some tasty new beers and support our friends at Revolution Brewing this weekend during Freedom Fest 2022 WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
July 08, 2022
108 | Shocking Split in SF for Tigers and Giants
The #Tigers revisited their 2012 World Series house of horrors in San Francisco and came away with a surprising split series with the #SFGiants | While Isaac Paredes is earning AL Player of the Week accolades, Austin Meadows is sidelined once again with some bizarre ailment that makes Al Avila look all the more incompetent | Is the #Cubs Business Operations Department, led by Crane 'TheCockroach' Kenney, trying to distance itself from the Baseball Ops Dept. to place all the blame for the club's failure on Jed Hoyer? | Could ticket-package rebates provide some goodwill and future profits for #MLB franchise? | The first true baseBRAWL in quite some time between the #Mariners and #Angels results in plenty of comedy with a bit of tragedy | Freddie Freeman got seriously fucked by his own agent | ASSTHETICS: Note to MLB marketeers — the #BlueJays don't celebrate the 4th of July | Tanner Houck is our Asshole of the Week, but he may become Boston's Asshole of the Year WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
June 30, 2022
107 | This is as Bad as the Cubs Have Ever Been
Riley Greene injects some hope in #Tigers Nation and some life into a previously dormant offense | Your eyes aren't deceiving you, the last 162-game stretch has been the WORST in the #Cubs' 152-year history | The Chicago Tribune's Paul Sullivan is an asshole, but we like it | #MLB has FINALLY seen the light as the end of streaming blackouts is upon us! | Leiseru Rules: Theo Epstein had himself one hell of a Day Off | #SFGiants tread water in the toughest division in baseball despite injuries to rivals Mookie Betts and Manny Machado | ASSTHETICS: Baseball, beer, BBQ — what else could anyone want from the #BrewCrew's new Nike City Connect uniforms? | MAIL FRAUD: Does the utility man deserve a place in the #AllStarGame? WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
June 23, 2022
106 | It's Finally Time to Fire Al Avila
We've finally reached a breaking point after endless years of rebuilding without results — Al Avila must be held accountable for the #Tigers' historic futility and be removed from his duties as GM | Trade season is rapidly approaching so we Power Ranked the #Cubs most valuable trade assets | How do the #SFGiant do that voodoo they do? | Even MORE details emerge about the high-rolling fantasy football league at the center of the Slap Heard Round The World | Joe Maddon's desperation mohawk makes his firing from the #LAAngels just that much more awkward and sad | Immaculate Innings don't come around often unless the #Astros are facing the #Rangers' Nathaniel Lowe, Ezequiel Duran, and Brad Miller | Vlad Guerrero Jr. and Vlad Guerrero Sr.'s career paths continue to mirror each other in uncanny ways WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
June 16, 2022
105 | Cubs & Contreras Find Common Ground... For Now
The Cubs and star catcher Willson Contreras avoided what could've been a very awkward arbitration hearing, but that doesn't necessarily mean a long-term extension is imminent | BREAKING NEWS: Yet it shouldn't be too surprising Casey Mize needs Tommy John surgery | Which would Tigers fans settle for if forced to chose between Tarik Skubal or Miguel Cabrera? | Joe Maddon's legacy isn't defined by two weeks of a Mickey Mouse organization's failure | ASSTHETICS: Surf's up and FOUR middle fingers up for the Angels' new Nike City Connect uniforms | MLB needs to take a stand and create a coherent policy to avoid more 'rainbow washing' controversy | MAIL FRAUD: We stole an intriguing question to Len Kasper WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
June 11, 2022
104 | Worst Crosstown Series Ever
#SFGiants Joc Pederson found himself in the center of the BIGGEST story in all of sports involving Oscars-level violence on a baseball field over fantasy football | The #Cubs and #WhiteSox are two mediocre teams facing off during the most mediocre time of year with mediocre results AND a potentially catastrophic injury to Tim Anderson | Dylan Cease and Kendall Graveman earned our Asshole of the Week dishonor when they helped cost the Sox a series in Toronto | Sox Type Thing: Pete gets put in Twitter time out | Jed Hoyer might be terrified of the word REBUILD, but it's impossible to describe the Cubs current state without it | Have the #Tigers FINALLY turned the corner? | This Week in Fuckin' As History | Nick Castellanos keeps on making things awkward for announcers | We did the math for our Division Power Rankings | ASSTHETICS: Rockies Mountain High Colorado WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
June 03, 2022
103 | Baseball Needs Less Josh Donaldsons
Intentional or not, the racial undertones in Josh Donaldson's "What's up, Jackie?" comments toward Tim Anderson make him an obvious choice for Asshole of the Week with dishonorable mentions going out to outright racist #Yankees fans as well as an absolutely spineless Rob Manfred | #WhiteSox reliever Joe Kelly doesn't play by FCC rules but nailed his assessment of Donalson as a "douche" to win our Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing | Oh yeah, the #Cubs are headed to the Southside for the conclusion of most lackluster Crosstown Series in years | "Schwisdon Industries" is a far cry from "Bryzzo Souvenir Co." but it's all Cubs fans have got these days | Marquee Network censors exposed Cubs thin skin and paranoia typical of state-run media | We steal other podcasts' mail and answer the question: Is Miguel Cabrera the #Tigers best hitter? |Tarik Skubal is too damn good not to have a nickname | #MLB's Top Prospect, Riley Greene is on the verge of his debut in Detroit, and not a moment too soon | Joc Pederson is carrying the #SFGiants' offense | Not sure if Frankie "The Bird" Montas has the right ring to it | NEW SEGMENT ALERT! Power Rankings: Fan Cost Index WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
May 27, 2022
102 | Sox Still Mired in Mediocrity
Should White Sox fans be Patient or Panic as the club continues to struggle offensively and hover around .500? | Celebrity Sox Type Thing: Tim Anderson vs. Ozzie Guillen | Cubs were the HOTTEST team in baseball for a moment as a few rookies had memorable debuts | Even with Tarik Skubal emerging as a true ace and Miguel Cabrera looking like his old MVP self, the Rays added insult to injury as the Tigers lose their FIFTH starting pitcher to the IL while Isaac Paredes makes fans question trading him in the most ironic way | The hapless Reds go Less Than Zero finding a way to lose their own special brand of No-No of the Week | Joe West gains some credibility and our most unlikely Anti-Hero of the Week award | Matt Harvey takes our saddest and most tragic Asshole of the Week dishonor WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
May 20, 2022
101 | Is One Month Time for Panic or Patience?
#WhiteSox entertain us with bad defense, historic blown saves, bizarre lawsuits, and opponent's FCC violations | #Cubs take over our Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment with Nico getting injured by an ump and Frank's Wild Ride | #Tigers experiencing deja vu with two consecutive seasons off to shitty starts | #SFGiants ask the eternal question: Does a beard = a mustache? | No-No of the Week continues with #Angels rookie Reid Detmers WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
May 13, 2022
100 | 100 Episodes?? You Gotta Be Bleepin' Me!!
We celebrate our 100th episode with a #Cubs #WhiteSox series presented by Faceless Corporate Entity that started with as little energy as the fat-guy, slo-mo fight in the bleachers and ended as predictably as a Tim Anderson first-pitch swing | Witness the dramatic conclusion of Sox Fan or NOT a Sox Fan? as well as Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan? for now... | Despite a solid patchwork rotation and the best bullpen in baseball, the #Tigers abysmal offense continues to crush Detroit's spirit | #SFGiants dominate the A*Hole standings yet find themselves in 4th place in the real world | Fuckin' A's vs. Oakland relationship find new levels of toxicity and almost nobody cares | #LGFM 5-man collaborative jam no-hits #Phillies, but should it really be recognized? | The #UmpShow dominates our Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment | Trevor Bauer is probably the most obvious Asshole of the Week we've ever had. WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
May 06, 2022
White Sox Eats with Pete's Food Frenzy: The Heater
Another little taste of Pete’s Food Frenzy Chicago food review podcast/vlog as he takes us out to the ballpark to review The Heater at Guaranteed Rate Field, home of the #WhiteSox. PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/petesfoodfrenzy YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7_JgTcCyN-v5EOsWgQ7e9w TWITTER: https://twitter.com/PetesFoodFrenzy
May 04, 2022
99 | Witnessing History: Miggy 3000
Motor City traffic was fucking brutal, but it was an absolute privilege to witness Miguel Cabrera become the 33rd player in Major League history to reach 3,000 hits in person. Unfortunately, baseball always proves to be six months of misery momentarily punctuated by fleeting moments of joy as the #Tigers suffer the WORST walk-off loss imaginable in Minnesota in the midst of a five-game losing streak. Speaking of losing streaks, the Sox finally snapped their 8-game slide, but did is another one on the horizon with Tony La Russa's bull-headed strategies and a disturbing rash of injuries mounting? The Cubs made some weird history of their own by trouncing the Pirates 21-0 but still losing the four-game series. Back by popular demand: Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan? The Battle of the Bay ended in a draw is huge for the A's and a huge disappointment for the Giants. ASSTHETICS returns with a splashy new Nike City Connect uni for the Royals. Angel Hernandez's fluid strike zone pushed Kyle Schwarber into a blind rage. Zoo York Yankees fans should be caged and are easy winners of our Asshole of the Week dishonor. WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
April 29, 2022
98 | PART 1: Aaron Boone is a Coward and a Loser
Yankees manager Aaron Boone's pathetic decision to intentionally walk Miguel Cabrera on the precipice of 3,000 hits may or may not have been the right move by the book, but it ultimately revealed his cowardice and bit him in the ass immediately | Javier Báez earns Dumbass Injury of the Week honors and irks some Tigers fans with his sorrowful tale of his ill-fated relationship with the Cubs severed due to circumstances out of their control | Seiya Suzuki is the NL Player of the Week and is on pace to make history | We debut our second game show: Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan? | Injuries and questionable managing plague White Sox as slide reaches 4 games | Did Dallas Keuchel throw his teammates under the bus after throwing the worst game of his life? WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
April 22, 2022
98 | PART 2: Joe Maddon's Madness & the Clayton Kershaw Kerfuffle
Our obsessive Carlos Rodón pitch count watch continues into its third week while the Giants break unwritten rules and make history in unexpected ways | Will Oakland A's attendance eventually reach ZERO? | Anit-Hero of the Week: Can the pitch clock save baseball? | Joe Maddon reaches peak Joe Maddon with an irrational intentional walk that eventually worked out | Hordes of ignorant sports fans parachuted into the Clayton Kershaw perfect game debate to chime in with their uneducated opinions | Reds president Phil Castellini is the poster boy for inherited wealth entitlement and our Asshole of the Week WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
April 22, 2022
97 | Relax, One Week Doesn't Mean Shit
[NOTE: Apologies for Smitty sounding like he's recording from the shitter on a submarine. We're 97 episodes in and we still suck at this sometimes.] Despite Javy Baez's heroics in his Tigers debut, Chuck Garfiene's bullshit claims of disrespect, and even more injury issues, the Whits Sox are the class of the AL Central and just as everyone thought. Miguel Cabrera is on the precipice of joining the 3,000/600/500 Club — the most exclusive club in baseball history. If Brewers pitchers are that terrible at pitching inside, they should probably stop pitching inside. Seiya Suzuki's red-hot start isn't sustainable, but it's better than NOT getting off to a red-hot start. Sean Murphy's ass is more interesting than the Oakland A's. ASSTHETICS: Astros go where no team has gone before with "Space City" Nike City Connect collection. WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.store/ REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
April 13, 2022
96 | Part 2: 2022 Nostra-Dumbass Predictions
So let it be written... nothing is certain in life but death, taxes, and reckless preseason baseball speculation podcasts. #MLB #OpeningDay
April 08, 2022
96 | Part 1: LET'S FUCKING GO!
Tony La Russa's misguided diatribe against #WhiteSox fans who want to improve the ballclub inspires a new game show! The #Tigers have good news with Spencer Torkelson's promotion to the big leagues, bad news with Riley Greene's broken foot, but GREAT news with the trade for Austin Meadows. The #Cubs have roughly HALF of a Major League rotation. Carlos Rodón looks good early (as usual) but how long will it last for the #SFGiants. The selloff continues in Oakland as the A's trade Sean Manaea to the Padres while the club pockets massive profits from league revenue sharing. Injuries continue to mount in the #Mets rotation.
April 07, 2022
95 | Carlos Correa: Fucking Weird-Ass Minnesota Twin?
Big-name free agents like Carlos Correa, Nick Castellanos, and Trevor Story end up signing with teams and terms few expected | New rules for 2022 are aimed at saving arms | How are the 2022 White Sox better than 2021? | Lucas Giolito "frustrated, disheartened, and upset" #WhiteSox refused to bridge a mere $50K gap, instead opt for arbitration | NEW SEGMENT: 'Sox Type Thing' exposes bad takes on Southside Twitter | ASSTHETICS: Spring Training 'trucker style' caps leave Jake Burger's bald dome cooked | "It's Different Here" aptly describes current #Cubs | #Tigers owner Chris Ilitch felt the need to speak out against "cheap" reputation | Oliver Stone would have a field day with all the tentacles of a conspiracy theory and cheating scandal that might involve the #Yankees more than previously thought
March 24, 2022
94 | Baseball is BACK, MoFos!
We finally and mercifully put a bow on the whole CBA conversation — hopefully forever | The Legend of Andrew Chafin will continue in the Motor City | #Cubs 2016 World Series dream team is officially NOT getting back together | Does signing Japanese star Seiya Suzuki mean the North Siders are going for it now? | Tom Ricketts infamous "biblical losses" bullshit won't stop him from buying Chelsea FC | Joe Kelly is a perfect fit for the #WhiteSox bullpen and culture while Josh Harrison is just a guy | #SFGiants take a major risk signing fragile Carlos Rodon | A's hampster wheel of perpetual mediocrity spins on with Chris Bassitt, Matt Olson, and Matt Chapman trades | Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our first Dumbass Injury of the Week award of the season
March 17, 2022
93 | Happy NOPEning Day!
Tuesday, March 1, 2022 will forever be known as #NOPEningDay as the owners unilaterally canceled the first two series of the season. And while the owners' lawyer, Rob Manfred is the easy punching bag, #MLB owners earn our Asshole of the Week dishonor.
March 04, 2022
92 | The $hit$how Must Drag On...
Very little progress to report in the Battle of Millionaires vs. Billionaires, but at least those assholes are finally showing a little sense of urgency | Despite the lockout, #Tigers fans still get to see some of the best prospects in all of baseball at Spring Training | #Cubs put finishing touches on Wrigley Field's renovation while showing what their true priorities are by opening a casino | #SFGiants to honor Buster Posey and WIll Clark | San Deigo lawn-jobber earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor | The Jeremy Giambi story reaches a sad conclusion
February 24, 2022
91 | Jon Lester's Championship Legacy
The $hit$how To End All $hit$hows enters its eighth week as the owners' Lockout shows no sign of ending soon | Eight potential trade targets to solve the #WhiteSox 2B issue | Will Jon Lester go into the Hall of Fame with a #RedSox or #Cubs logo on his plaque? | Every writer who voted for David Ortiz but not Barry Bonds earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor
January 19, 2022
90 | 2021 Asshole of the Year
Rob Manfred cans Ken Rosenthal because his fragile ego can't handle respected journalism | Lockout shows no sign of an end, but we speculate when it might | Which big-name free agents from the significant pool available will the #WhiteSox, #Cubs, #Tigers, and #SFGiants sign? | Comerica Park might be getting more reasonable dimensions | Fuckin' A's get a new manager they can control and don't have to pay much in Mark Kotsay | The runaway winner of our Asshole of the Year award goes to the New York Mets for their monumental achievements in the field of assholery throughout 2021 from the top to the bottom of their organization.
January 04, 2022
89 | Congrats, Owners — You Got Your Fucking Lockout
[NOTE: Apologies for Smitty's shitty audio quality as we had some technical difficulties we were unaware of at the time of recording. We'll do better next time.] Make no mistake, #MLB owners CHOSE to step away from the negotiating table and leave the baseball world in limbo for the foreseeable future | Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs have apparently recovered from their "biblical losses" and "spent intelligently" on SP Marcus Stroman | #WhiteSox fail to make any splashy moves before Dec 1 artificial deadline, but Rich Hahn still has plenty of time and options to improve for 2022 | Javy Baez is a MASSIVE upgrade at SS for the #Tigers and will be a fan favorite in Detroit | #SFGiant try to recreate the magic of 2021 with shrewd free agent signings | A's move to Vegas looks more imminent and intriguing by the day | New York Mess owner soothes his hurt feelings by spending a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS on free agents | MLB owners are objectively Assholes of the Week Support the podcast and look good doing it with some merch at ASSTHETICS.SHOP — Offical Shit of Major League A*Holes
December 03, 2021
88 | Tigers are DOMINATING the Off-Season
Crafty Al Avila hasn't wasted any time checking off items on #Tigers to-do list with Eduardo Rodriguez signing | Carlos Correa and AJ Hinch had themselves a nice brunch date | Rick Hahn is making tough, but correct business decisions for the #WhiteSox | #SFGiants need to exploit tremendous financial flexibility | Claiming Wade Miley is the kind of smart move Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs should've made last year | Not one, not two, but three Bad Tweets from bumbling Bob Nightengale | Spooky numerology in Atlanta points to The Hammer's influence from the great beyond | ASSTHETICS: Kansas City's "new" uniforms steal the spotlight from Cleveland's botched rebrand launch | Revolution Brewing's 'Deep Wood Series' showcases the best of barrel-aged beers
November 20, 2021
87 | Post-Postseason News Explosion!
A victory for truth, justice, and the American way? #Braves defeat #Astros in 117th #WorldSeries | PETA shoves "Arm Barn" up everyone's ass | First shots fired in the $hitshow To End All $hitshows over new CBA | Jason McLeod leaving #Cubs is as mysterious as his time in the shadows of the organization | Defense loses championships for #WhiteSox | BREAKING: Buster Posey sudden retirement sparks questions for #SFGiants | Do the Fuckin' A's and Oakland have a fucking stadium deal or not?? Either way, they don't have a manager anymore | #Tigers not wasting any time fulfilling post-postseason agenda adding C Tucker Barnhart | Cleveland Guardians (the baseball club, not the roller derby team) are assholes | ASSTHETICS: Atlanta has an obvious solution to name issue #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
November 04, 2021
86 | Giants Magic Ride Comes to Brutal End
The #SFGIants were going to lose Game 5 and the NLDS whether Wilmer Flores swung or not, but it doesn't make the obvious blown call any easier to stomach | #Cubs attempt to fix their most glaring organizational failure with new GM, Carter Hawkins | Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing: Joc Pederson | #RedSox fans too loud, obnoxious, and vulgar for FOX postgame show | Nightengale's bad tweet about #WhiteSox and Craig Kimbrel inexplicably gaining traction nationally | Ron Darling is an asshole who sounds just like James Woods #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 22, 2021
85 | Fade to Black: 2021 White Sox Post Mortem
The #WhiteSox vs. #Astros ALDS had so many goddamn layers and storylines that we dedicated an entire fucking episode to it complete with Asshole of the Week, more funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up, ASKHOLE?! and yet another one of Bob's Bad Tweets. Plus, a brand new segment — Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing. #ChangeTheGame
October 15, 2021
84 | Playoff Previews & Season Recaps
#WhiteSox lose Game 1, but things are lining up in their favor going forward | #Tigers front office confirms they'll spend, but not like drunken sailors | #Cubs season ends with a COVID outbreak because of course it did | One of the two best teams in baseball will be out after #SFGiants and#Dodgers face off | Dumbass Injury of the Week: JD Martinez | Hot race for MLA Manager of the Year #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 08, 2021
83 | The Revolution WILL be Podcasted!
The revolution will not be televised, but it WILL be podcasted as Revolution Brewing Co. becomes the presenting sponsor of Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE!!! | Benches clear in Detroit for a #WhiteSox & #Tigers tickle fight | Brutal injury news for the #SFGiants as Brandon Belt breaks a thumb on a bunt | Dumbass Injury of the Week: #Brewers Devin Williams breaks his pitching hand punching a wall after a few drinks at their Division-clinching celebration | Joe West will finally retire, but not until botching a call that could run the #RedSox season | How fucking crazy could this AL Wild Card race get this weekend?? | We revisit the worst of our Nostradumbass predictions for the 2021 season #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 01, 2021
82 | Cubs Sold Their Soul for a Piece of Shit
#WhiteSox clinch the AL Central for the first time in 13 years | #Tigers rolling over first-place teams at crunch time | PV dominates Revolution Brewing Co. #GrandSlamCan event | #SFGiants clinch MLA 2021 Season Championship | #Cubs pundits/fans need to slow their roll on Brennan Davis | A's badass Chris Bassett makes a triumphant return after getting his face bashed in | Salvador Perez historic production raises eyebrows in more ways than one | #Padres melt down in every way imaginable | Toronto/Tampa contraband contrasty exposes the dumbest side of baseball | Co-Assholes of the Week: Conor McGregor and the Chicago Cubs
September 24, 2021
81 | Will We Ever See the REAL White Sox?
#SFGiants may have clinched a playoff berth, but a tough two-week battle for the division lies ahead | #WhiteSox frustrations mount along with nagging injury concerns | Do Tony La Russa and Joe Maddon have beef? | #Tigers knock off not one, but two #WorldSeries hopefuls in one week | Miguel Cabrera on the doorstep of yet another exclusive club | Dumbass Injury of the Week: Jose Cisnero? | The #UmpShow must NOT go on | SWCMU: Tim Timmons had a problem with Baltimore's grounds crew | Ryan Braun earned Asshole of the Week for a lifetime of achievement in the field of Assholery #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 17, 2021
80 | San Francisco Bryants Return to the Schwindy City
Maybe the #WhiteSox were looking ahead to the Boston series as their nightmares continue in Oakland? | Kris Bryant returns to Wrigley Field for the first time in anything but a #Cubs uniform | It's Frank Schwindel's city now, we're all just living in it | Miguel Cabrera's historic week gives him a legitimate shot at 3,000 hits THIS season | Pitch clock makes Mike Montgomery lose his shit in Korea #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 10, 2021
79 | Ballgame Breaks Out During Crosstown Slugfest
It was an embarrassing Crosstown Series for both the Sox and Cubs in more ways than one | #WhiteSox injuries piling up again as stretch run approaches | #Cubs need to be aggressive, yet measured in their approach to free agency | It took all the way into September, but #SFGiants have finally lost sole possession of first place | #Tigers fought valiantly, but ultimately overmatched by A's | Oakland looks strong on offense and defense, but the bullpen is suspect and rotation looks thin on run to playoffs | A.J. Hinch has changed the culture in Detroit, now he's changing the perception of Detroit as contenders | AOTW: The entire #NYMets organization is one gigantic asshole #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 03, 2021
78 | Crosstown BLOODBATH Preview
#WhiteSox finish toughest two weeks of the season a disappointing 7-7 | Tony La Russa's "no comment" just leads to more questions | Crosstown Series Preview: it's going to be a mess | Nick Castellanos could be #Cubs top free-agent target | Never mind the shitty product on the field, Cubs brass pat themselves on the back with chintzy new Hall of Fame and over the top Saving Wrigley Field documentary | Miguel Cabrera reaches rarified air with 500th home run, but will the #Tigers dump him once he reaches 3,000 hits? | #SFGiants snubbed by #MLB power rankings | #Dodgers and #Padres 16-inning marathon is a gigantic outlier, not the rule | Casey Mize gets the Barry Bonds treatment in STL #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 27, 2021
77 | The Cornfield That Saved Baseball
Miguel Cabrera stuck on #499 as young #Tigers | Jack Morris ends up with his foot in his mouth after an ill-fated attempt at humor with dumb Shohei Ohtani comment | ASSTHETICS: How a cornfield saved baseball | Crosstiown trade made sense for both sides of town, but have the #WhiteSox already missed their opportunity to leverage Crag Kimbrel's maximum potential? | Oakland's Chris Bassitt lucky to be alive while Ramon Laureano's luck runs out with 80-game PED suspension | #Cubs hardly recognizable and hardly worth mentioning after complete dismantling the | Jake Arrieta earns Asshole of the Week honors in a sad end the former North Side hero | Kris Bryant finds the perfect home with #SFGiants | Tyler Gilbert's No-No of the Week leads to speculation that MLB's "sticky stuff" era is far from over #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 21, 2021
BONUS: Pete's Post-Deadline Pontifications
Originally recorded on August 2, PV put his thoughts out there on an insane MLB trade deadline while Smitty was on vacation. Did Jed Hoyer swing and miss on the Kris Bryant deal with the #SFGiants? | Craig Kimbrell for Nick Madrigal and Codi Heuer will live in #Cubs #WhiteSox infamy | Was Al Avila asleep at the wheel again, failing to move Jonathan Schoop? (NOTE: The answer is NO as Schoop subsequently agreed to a two-year extension with the #Tigers on August 7.) #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 14, 2021
76 | DEADLINE SPECIAL: Premature Speculation
Kris Bryant and Ryan Tepera for Joey Bart would serve the #SFGiants and #Cubs very well | #MLB's hypocrisy exposed once again as Javy Baez is fined for showing emotion on the field while MLB markets the shit out of it | Cubs maximize an asset and A's gain a legendary cult hero with Andrew Chafin trade | The Jesus Lizard shockingly dealt to Miami for expensive rental, Starling Marte | Dallas Keuchel struggles versus lefties has him feeling like he's pitching on Mars, but is that a bad thing? | Rick Hahn has #WhiteSox fans worried he's overplayed his hand being TOO patient waiting for the trade market to come to him while the supply of bullpen arms and middle infielders dwindles | Miguel Cabrera passes Barry Bonds on the all-time hits list and inches closer to 500 home runs | #Tigers Eric Haase and Akil Baddoo emerging as serious Rookie of the Year contenders at the expense of division rivals | If MLB is really worried about viewership numbers being down they could simply lift their fucking ridiculous blackout policy | Know your history, kids — comparing Shohei Ohtani and Babe Ruth is lazy and an injustice to both #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 29, 2021
75 | Hottest Team in Baseball? Your Detroit Fucking Tigers!
The #Tigers are *arguably* the HOTTEST team in baseball since the All-Star break | Could Jonathan Schoop and Jose Cisnero be on the move from Motown to the Southside? | Stellar #WhiteSox vs. #Brewers pitching matchups could be a #WorldSeries preview | More minor league drama for Yermin Mercedes and Eloy Jiménez | Lance Lynn, Sox consummate budding relationship with 2-year, $38M extension | Kris Bryant's "fatigued" hamstring awakens in time to squash tired injury narrative for the #Cubs just before the trade deadline | Potential Craig Kimbrel trade partners list grows | A disinterested Anthony Rizzo might get a wakeup call in Boston or New York | Despite criticism, Javy Baez is still among MLB elite | #SFGiants remain #ResilientSF despite limited expectations | It's officially time for the #Athletics and the City of Oakland to break the fuck up | Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls cliffhanger resolved in very predictable fashion | Does Bob Nightengale have some sort of cognitive disability we probably shouldn't be making fun of any more? | Mysterious sponsor patch appears on #MLB umpires' uniforms | ASSTHETICS: Even Cleveland seemed embarrassed by the release of their boring new name and amateurish logo set #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 24, 2021
74 | Our Very Special All-Star Week Edition
Liam Hendriks’ potty mouth was the highlight of a mediocre #ASG | ASKHOLE: Why the fuck do the #WhiteSox have Eloy Jimenez in left field? | Pete’s Twitter War: There’s NO comparison between Leury Garcia and Trevor Story | Shohei Ohtani was slightly disappointing but the Home Run Derby was definitely not | The future is bright for the #Cubs and #Tigers if the Futures Game is any indication | Willson Contreras exposed a completely fractured Cubs clubhouse | Crafty Al Avila shocked the world by drafting not one, but TWO #MLB Pipeline Top 10 prospects with RHPs Jackson Jobe and Ty Madden | Rob Manfred tried to use his All-Star bully pulpit to strong-arm Oakland into giving the #Athletcis a new stadium | No more shifts, 7-inning doubleheaders, or Manfred Men on 2B in extras if Rob has his way in 2022 | ASSTHETICS: Homogeneous uniforms ruin one of the coolest things about the ASG | Asshole(s) of the Week: Cowardly Houston Astros make up lame excuses why they couldn’t face the heat in Denver | Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls: The suspense is killing us (and Hector Santiago) #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 16, 2021
73 | Trade Winds Are A-Blowin' (and so are the Cubs)
It pays to drink on a Thirsty Thursday as PV is a #WhiteSox experience instant winner! | Trade rumors are starting to fly as #Cubs Craig Kimbrel emerges as the hottest commodity on the MLB market | Sox lose Yasmani Grandal, dump Adam Eaton, but Eloy Jimenez returns from the dead | #Tigers Draft Preview: Lots of options at #3 overall | Jake Arrieta is the only one who doesn't think he's done | NEW SEGMENT ALERT: 'You Know What I Fucking Hate?' with Joe Fitz | #SFGiants release a very foggy Nike City Connect uni | Trevor Bauer earns a very disturbing Asshole of the Week dishonor | Nick Castellanos has impeccably awkward timing #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 09, 2021
72 | Death of the Cubs 'Golden Era'
It was a helluva nearly 6-year run, but June 30th, 2021 marked the end of the Cubs 'Golden Era' | A No-No of the Week that no one knew about | Josh Donaldson vs. Lucas Giolito reveals macho insecurity of everyone involved | It's Burger Time on the Southside! | Bob Nightengale's latest Bad Tweet undermines #WhiteSox ability to make Escobar deal | How the #Tigers could 'restore the roar' as soon as 2022 | Jaylin Davis' return could spark #SFGiants just in time | BART fiasco just the latest example of the City of Oakland kicking #Athletics to the curb | Hector Santiago calls MLB's bluff by appealing his Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls suspension
July 02, 2021
71 | MLB The Peep Show '21
After just two days MLB's misguided and reactionary 'sticky stuff' enforcement policy has predictably devolved into an embarrassing train wreck | An unwitting Ben Zobrist is making headlines once again after filing suit against his pastor for banging his wife | White Sox' pen not as mighty as their words | Javier Báez getting benched might be the best thing that could've happened for him | We announce your 2021 Major League A*Holes All-Stat Team #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
June 24, 2021
70 | Opening Day 2.0 — An Epic Chicago Party
You know the world is getting back to normal when Bill Murray is doing the 7th-Inning Stretch, beer snakes are setting records, and we're talking shit and drinking beers together again | Do you want the good news or bad news about White Sox injuries first? | The Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls saga has only just begun and it's a total shitshow | Tigers seeing encouraging signs down on the farm | Giants balance short term success vs. long-term health of the franchise | Rizzo's non-vaccinated stance creates potential disaster for Cubs | A's pick up Bob Melvin's option, but where's the extension? | Trevor Bauer awards Mickey Mouse Cy Youngs after 60 games | Rob Manfred is still an asshole (at least he's consistent)
June 18, 2021
69 | Sticky Fingers & Snapped Hamstrings
Nick Madrigal is the latest to fall victim to Chicago's hamstring pandemic | Rivalry Weekend dominated by Sox/Giants | Did TLR break The Yerminator or was he just a flash in the pan? | Nothing but Smart Bombs and Wise Cracks for Patrick Wisdom | Brandon Crawford's lifetime of Gigantism | Sick or not, Jake Arrieta and his excuses sucked in SF | Cubs' Minister of Financial Propaganda Crane Kenney is a liar and an asshole | Sticky fingers and sticky balls are NOT anything like the steroids scandal | Insert obligatory Pirates joke here
June 11, 2021
68 | First Trimester Report Cards
Rivalry Weekend kicks off for Tigers/Sox and Cubs/Giants | We grade the performances of all five teams we cover over the first two months | Jed Hoyer admits Cubs are now "ahead of schedule financially" and can add at the trade deadline, but how could they not have anticipated this six months ago when "biblical losses" shaped their offseason agenda? | Sox-on-Sox crimes: Are we allowed to have fun now? | Spencer Torkelson beginning to live up to expectations in High-A for Tigers | Bob Melvin passes Tony La Russa on A's all-time wins list | Bob Brenly finds himself in deep "du" | Jack Flaherty finds himself on IL for no good reason | Asshole of the Week: Marcell Ozuna #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
June 04, 2021
67 | Javy Báez: Agent of Chaos
Nike/White Sox new 'Southside' uniforms knock it out of the fucking park | Joe West is probably good at his job but he's still a total asshole | Pirates abysmal defense exposed by Javier Báez and his uncanny ability to make crazy shit happen on the basepaths | Boy, that escalated quickly as A's Chris Bassitt turns his career around while wielding a golden trident | Robbie Grossman and the Tigers walk-off Gerrit Cole and the Yankees | New Era botches attempt to make their own city connection | Naked man terrorizes security and tarp tube with #Natitude | Zach Plesac earns Dumb Ass Injury of the Week honor
May 29, 2021
66 | Mercedes Gets Thrown Under LARUSSAPALOOZA Bus
Tony La Russa takes our illustrious Asshole of the Week honor in a landslide | Spencer Turnbull's overshadowed No-No | Cubs/TIgers centuries-old rivalry renewed | Cubs reach peak nostalgia marketing levels vs. old friends Jon Lester and Kyle Schwarber | Jake Arrieta's anti-vax stance creatures competitive disadvantage | Giants success a double-edged sword as approaching trade deadline creates a familiar dilemma | Dave Martinez lost his mind in the most amusing way possible | Loyal listener gets on-air laugh during Sox broadcast
May 21, 2021
65 | Vegas Baby! Uprooted In Oakland
Shit Show 2.1: Great, now the Millionaires and Billionaires are suing each other | Chicago boosts stadium capacity to 60% | White Sox rise to the top of MLB | Questions remain about Giants' hot start | In a standoff with no heroes, the City of Oakland stands out as our Asshole of the Week | War of '84: Cubs vs. Tigers battle of baseball mediocrity | NY Mess: Raccoon vs. Rat | Ryno is on the weed? | Mr. October is our newest fan! | MLB Food Fight fucked everything up
May 14, 2021
64 | Ignorance No Defense for Sleepy La Ru
Game strategy and rule book knowledge are no longer Tony La Russa's strengths | You can stop with the Kris Bryant/Sox trade rumors | Javy Baez needs to look in the mirror before attacking Amir Garrett | Cubs sweep the World Champs* | A very JOCular Asshole of the Week | Jesus Lizard just the latest MLB video game casualty | Miguel Cabrera is terrible, but he's NOT getting DFA'd | Astros run to daddy Manfred for help
May 07, 2021
63 | Are the Giants for Fucking REAL?
Somehow, your San Francisco Giants find themselves atop the BEST division in baseball | Is a new stadium deal actually on the verge of getting done in Oakland? | You can throw out the record books when the Tigers and White Sox get together (or not) | Abysmal Cubs still find ways to amuse themselves and piss off others | No no-no? Yes no-no? I don't know. Who cares?
May 02, 2021
62 | Fuckin' A's are MAGIC!
The Oakland A's are making history in all sorts of crazy ways on their 11-game winning streak | Buster Posey's renaissance and solid pitching are fueling the Giants solid start | Cubs crawl back up to .500 and finally reach the Medoza Line, but what is Javy Baez worth right now? | White Sox still overcoming injuries as they underachieve | So much funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up you couldn't make it up | Major League A*Holes are Assholes of the Week for yet another history-making moment this week
April 23, 2021
61 | RODóNONO!!!
Carlos Rodón missed a Perfect Game by a goddamn shoelace, but settling for a No-Hitter still isn't bad | PV experiences a game at Sox Park for the first time in years | Tigers maul the ASStros as A.J. Hinch returns to the scene of the crime | Cubs COVID outbreak piles pestilence upon already painful start | Are the Cubs and Willson Contreras just too sensitive about getting hit by seven Brewers pitches in 14 games? | Johnny Cueto's promising start might pay dividends for =Giants at trade deadline | Week 2 had plenty of funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Get your facts straight! Smitty earns his first Asshole of the Week
April 17, 2021
60 | Welcome to IN THE HOLE!
Big news for the podcast as we unveil a new name and launch a goddamn t-shirt shop | #SFGiants seize control of the A*Hole standing as the only team above .500 | At least the #Cubs futility brings some clarity | #WhiteSox storylines are abundant | Miggy's iconic Opening Day blast and Baddoo's breakout mark fleeting fun start to #Tigers season | #Athletics dismal start compounded by major injuries | Bizarre Boston/Nike unis harbinger of strange looks to come in Chicago | Trevor Bauer's sticky balls are the talk of the town — just the way he likes it | Even the #Mets disapprove of their bullshit walk-off win | Asshole of the Week: Chris Young
April 13, 2021
59 | Happy Opening April Fool's Day!
April Fool's hijinks and Opening Day roster surprises | Javy Baez is NOT Francisco Lindor just like Anthony Rizzo is NOT Paul Goldschmidt, so STOP fucking comparing them | Trying to stream Marquee Network is a completely FUBAR experience | NostraDumbass: Predictions for MVP, Cy Young, and ROY | Bad Tweets: Where are all the White Sox fans? #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics #MLB #OpeningDay
April 01, 2021
58 | White Sox NOT Completely Fucked by Eloy's Folly
Yeah, of course, it sucks losing Eloy Jiménez for 5-6 months, but the Sox still have lots of options in LF | Do the Math: Capacity expanded to 25% at Wrigley/Sox Park (kinda?) | Cubs' drug mule gets busted with A LOT of product | Our 'NostraDumbass' predictions for the 2021 season are so hot, they will melt your face!!! #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics
March 26, 2021
Fantasy Special '21
No one asked for it, but we fucking did it anyway... enjoy our LIVE play-by-play coverage of the 18th-Annual Major League A$$holes Fantasy Draft!
March 20, 2021
57 | Cubs/Sox Polar Opposite 5-Year Anniversaries
How Rob Manfred almost cost Kyle Hendricks his season | Kris Bryant still doesn't 'give a shit' but still kinda gives a shit | Chuck Garfien is the David Kaplan of the South Side | Five Years Later: Adam LaRoche incident was merely a hint of even weirder shit to come for 2016 White Sox | A's dalliance with cryptocurrency feels a little shady | ESPN's Buster Olney strikes out his thick bush | Our fantasy draft preview that no one needs or asked for | Assthetics: Enough with the half-assed St. Patty's Day uniforms #Cubs #WhiteSox #Athletics #MLB
March 19, 2021
56 | Fans Back in the Fucking Stands!
States and local governments announce the limited return of fans to ballparks across the county | Asshole of the Week: Texas takes it too far | Rules changes for the Minors could have a MAJOR impact | White Sox fans ranked "booziest" and "biggest lightweights" in the game | Cubs Rub: What the fuck was Pedro Strop thinking? | Tigers Shit: Can someone please get Spencer Torkelson a god damn can opener! | Fuckin' A's: The Jesus Lizard and his Turkey Sub | Premature Celebration: Mets continue to embarrass themselves on a weekly basis #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #SFGiants #Athletics
March 12, 2021
55 | Welcome Oakland Fuckin' A's!
We welcome our fifth team to our regular coverage, the Oakland Athletics | "Fuck it" Tim Anderson doesn't mince words when he declared the #WhiteSox to be the best team in the AL | Tatis Jr. deal further exposes #Cubs ownership bullshit in crying poor | Did Kris Bryant just dis Theo Epstein? | After just one year, Marquee Network already in reruns | #SFGiants facing major decisions with pending free agents to be | #Tigers Miguel Cabrera could enter exclusive 3000/500 Club in 2021 | Angel Hernandez and the New York Mets continue to create the best Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Johnny Damon is an asshole
March 02, 2021
54 | Cubs' Offseason Cognitive Dissonance
2021 rules include 7-inning doubleheaders and runners on base in extra innings | Jake Arrieta nostalgic signing example of #Cubs' conflicted offseason planning | La Russa's top concern to remain 'Hall of Famer Baseball Person' | PECOTA projections send Twittersphere into tizzy | There are no bad 1-year deals for #Tigers #SFGiants | Bad Tweets: Nightengale/Heyman continue to set new standards for incompetence | ASKHOLE: What if #WhiteSox had moved to Tampa in 1990? When will Tigers return to glory? | AOTW: Most despised teammates in baseball history
February 18, 2021
53 | NL/AL Central Heat Up Frosty Free Agent Market
Joc Pederson takes less money to join Cubs over Sox | Nolan Arenado tips NL Central balance of power | Twins overpay for aging Nelson Cruz | ASKHOLE: Why will Baez/Bryant return to prominence? No Plan B for Sox if La Russa fails? | $hit$how 2.0: Don't buy the Owners' clickbait | Bad Tweets LIVE | Mickey Callaway is an asshole
February 05, 2021
52 | North Side Crisis: Cub Nation in Turmoil
Cubs fans, pundits, and even Kris Bryant are upset about the current direction of the franchise | White Sox don't need to sign Nelson Cruz | Giants signing Tommy LaStella just another example of trying to be a little bit pregnant | Tigers are the new Farm System Champions | Is it time to abolish the Hall of Fame? | NEW SEGMENT #1: Bob Nightengale's Bad Tweets | Shitshow 2.0: Owners now working back channels to hide duplicitous agenda | NEW SEGMENT #2: ASKHOLE | Asshole of the Week: Jared Porter and his naked, erect penis #Cubs #WhiteSox #SFGiants #Tigers #MLB
January 29, 2021
51 | No Worries, Mate! Sox Sign Hendriks
White Sox continue to not fuck around and sign the best closer on the market | The market was better for Kyle Schwarber than anyone thought | Rumors of an imminent Kris Bryant trade were greatly exaggerated | Jon "Boog" Sciambi becomes the new voice of the Cubs | Marcell Ozuna to the Giants? | Does anyone even bother listening to Rob Manfred anymore? | Asshole of the Week: first-time Hall of Fame voter makes it all about himself
January 13, 2021
50 | Asshole of the Year: Rob Manfred
Cubs only have themselves to blame for lopsided Yu Darvish trade | White Sox hot stove heats up with Yoelqui Céspedes and Adam Engel signings | Tony La Russa is lucky he's a rich and famous old white guy | In a year replete with worthy candidates, Commissioner Rob Manfred runs away with our second-annual Asshole of the Year award
December 31, 2020
49 | Winter Meetings (kinda? sorta?) Special
Busy White Sox trade for Lance Lynn and sign Adam "Spanky" Eaton | Marquee Network Drama: The Search for Kasper's Successor | Risky Business: MLB umpire arrested in human trafficking sting | Asshole of the Week: MLB wins their fucking War on Minor League Baseball
December 11, 2020
48 | Kasper the Friendly Host Goes BiSOXual
Like rats on a sinking ship, Theo Epstein and now Len Kasper are getting fuck out of the Friendly Confines | Kris Bryant's gonna get traded so deal with it | Non-tender deadline casualties litter both sides of Chicago | White Sox should trade for Blake Snell | Drinky La Ru will plead guilty to sweep his issues under the rug ASAP | Robinson Cano was a Hall of Famer, now he's just an Asshole
December 04, 2020
47 | La-Russa-Palooza Circus Takes a Drunk Turn
Tony La Russa was charged with DUI the day BEFORE Sox announced him as their new manager | José Abreu earns AL MVP, just as we called it | Jon Lester got fired and bought Chicago a round of beers | December 2 may be a day that will live in infamy | AJ Hinch hiring ushers in a new era in Tigers history | A theory on why Rob Manfred failed to punish Justin Turner for his reckless behavior
November 16, 2020
SPECIAL REPORT: White Sox Hire Tony La Russa. Seriously?
Shit just got real, folks. Despite all logic and public scorn, Jerry Reinsdorf has decided the 76-year old Tony La Russa will be his next manager. Yet another move that undermines the legitimacy of Rick Hahn as General Manager, who clearly wanted no part of this bizarre decision.
October 30, 2020
46 | A Fitting End to a Fucked Up Season
Wild and weird #WorldSeries recap | Asshole of the Week: Justin Turner | White Sox & Tigers managerial searches ramp up | Marquee Network Drama: The Disappointing Sequel | Which 2020 MLB rules changes should we keep? | 2021 free-agent market looking rather thin | Gold Glove awards are bullshit
October 28, 2020
45 | White Sox Manager Search Devolves Into Madness!!
Renteria and Coop feel the Wrath of Hahn, chaos ensues | Tony La Russa? Are you fucking kidding me?? | More manager candidates emerge with varying degrees of plausibility | Postseason Talk: Can we just get to a Rays/Braves World Series already? | Strip Club Knife Fight: hair metal band name or a night out with Tommy Pham? | Billy Beane applies Moneyball to European lawn sport
October 16, 2020
44 | Huge Decisions Facing Cubs/Sox/Tigers this Offseason
Cubs predictably flame out again — maybe a bit TOO predictably? | Top 5 questions for the White Sox offseason | A look at the Tigers managerial options | A strange postseason continues without us | Asshole of the Week: David Kaplan
October 09, 2020
43 | Renteria Exposed as Sox Exit Postseason
A panicking Renteria blew any chance the Sox had | Cubs are still suffering from premature cancellation issues | MLB postseason rife with anomalies and injuries | Crosstown Series Recap: Now who owns Chicago? | Asshole of the Week: Jimmy "Tough Guy" Cordero | More funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up
October 02, 2020
42 | Chicago: From the Capital of Baseball to the Shitshow of Baseball
Our thoughts entering a Crosstown Series that feels much stranger than expected | Renteria is now clearly costing the Sox wins | Cubs offensive production is offensive (and chronic) | A sad, but fond farewell to Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire | Giants playoff hopes in the balance | We name our All-A*Holes Team from the best players from our 4 clubs | Ozzie Guillen should be managing in MLB | Shit We Couldn't Make Up: 2020 has been full of statical anomalies and bizarre fan behavior | Asshole of the Week: Angel Hernandez (again)
September 25, 2020
41 | Chicago is the Goddamn Capital of Baseball
White Sox are FINALLY back in the fucking playoffs! | Heyward's homer turns Cubs' season around | Mills delivers MLB's second no-hitter | Wildfires fuck with Giants schedule | Asshole of the Week: journalist Bob Nightengale is terrible at journalism | Tigers' Candelario wins AL Player of the Week | Drone delay at Wrigley just more Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Booze banned for postseason celebrations | ASSthetics: worst-to-best Sox uniform rankings
September 18, 2020
40 | White Sox Cruising While Cubs Straddle Mendoza Line
Dallas Keuchel's mysterious back injury looks like the only speed bump on their way to the playoffs | Congrats to Trevor Bauer for shoving it up Cubs' asses in a meaningless game | The Javy Baez Excuse Machine keeps churning out bullshit | Giants bats power playoff run | Tigers lose 19-0 but are still in the playoff hunt and more Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: "COVID" Joe West rears his fat, ugly head again
September 11, 2020
39 | Post-Trade Deadline: Now Shit's Getting Serious
Honoring former White Sox and Hall of Fame legend, Tom Seaver | Cubs outfielders make history | SOXual Harassment: Rick Renteria's gut is giving PV indigestion | You’re lying if you had the Tigers at .500 past the halfway point | Giants suffering from pitching/offense role reversals | ASSthetics: Padres are on FIRE and so are their neo-retro uniforms | Aroldis Chapman's asshole legacy continues
September 04, 2020
38 | White Sox Seize Chicago By The Balls
Lucas Giolito Throws a NO-NO! | Rivalry Weeks Recap | Player of the Week: Jose Abreu | TRADE DEADLINE: Strategies & Targets | Cubs Rub: Javy Baez Struggles Due to Lack of Crowds | More Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: Bruce Levine
August 28, 2020
37 | RIVALRY WEEKS: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This!
Cubs/Cards, Tigers/Sox, Sox/Cubs, Cub/Tigers... OH MY!! | Mark Grace is the "dingbat" | Fernando Tatis Jr. should be on the South Side | More Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Thom Brennaman wins Asshole of the Week in a landslide
August 21, 2020
36 | Cubs are Kings of a Terrible Division
Yu is not fucking around anymore | Rizzo adds some serious bling to his game | White Sox are righting the ship despite Rick Renteria's best efforts to fuck it all up | How to solve the growing Cardinals issue | ASSthetics of Baseball: Nike logo is ruining Tigers jersey | Why the fuck are the Astros picking fights?? | Asshole(s) of the Week: Zach Plesac & Mike Clevinger
August 14, 2020
35 | Way Too Early Red Line World Series Trash Talk
Cubs win our premature breakdown of the 2020 Cubs/Sox World Series | White Sox have made Chicago the "City of Bad Shoulders" | Public masturbation, brO-HIO hatred from Ozzie, terrible excuses from Jeter, and more of the funniest Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: Cards president, John Mozeliak
August 07, 2020
34 | A Predictably Fucked Up Week 1
BREAKING outbreak news is getting a little too close to home | Cubs offense and starters looking solid, but the bullpen is a fucking disaster | White Sox offense is potent despite questionable lineup construction | Tigers are leading baseball in homers... and strikeouts | Giants/YAZ using aerodynamics to their advantage? | #FreeJoeKelly | Asshole of the Week: Miami Marlins
July 31, 2020
33 | Happy Opening Fucking Day!
BREAKING Marquee Network News: Comcast deal is DONE and it's about fucking time | White Sox kicked the shit out of the Cubs this week, for what it's worth (not much) | What the Mookie Betts blockbuster deal means for the Cubs trying to resign Bryant/Baez | SOXual Harassment: No More Mazara? | TIGER SHIT: The Jordan Zimmerman Disaster and service time manipulation | Expanded playoffs made too much sense to pass up | Toronto can't play in Toronto and other Shit We Couldn't Make Up | The #CardboardPeteNeedsaSeat at Sox Park saga continues... | Asshole of the Week: The Cleveland Baseball Team
July 24, 2020
32 | 2020 Season Preview? (if we're lucky)
Hendricks named Cubs Opening Day starter | Rizzo's bad back is no reason to panic | Fallout from Kopech opting out | Our 2020 Season Preview? with playoff, MVP, and Cy Young predictions | Asshole of the Week: Jerry Reinsdorf
July 17, 2020
31 | MLB's Not-So-Happy Summer Campers
2020 Schedule 2.0: Our in-depth breakdown of the Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants 60-game schedules | Field of Dreams game during a pandemic could easily become a nightmare | MLB’s COVID-19 testing program got off to a rocky start | SOXual Harassment: transparency vs. privacy with testing results puts Yoan Moncada, Michael Kopech, and Rick Hahn in an awkward spot | CUBS RUB: Somebody needs to buy Jose Quintana a goddamn dishwasher! | Don’t be fooled, Cleveland is changing their name only because “Indians” is finally now costing them more money than it’s earning | #CardboardPeteNeedsASeat at Sox Park for charity! | Asshole of the Week: “COVID” Joe West
July 10, 2020
30 | Welcome to Summer Camp 2020!
Players have reported and we analyze the Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants 60-man roster strategies | To play, or not to play? That is the question | What will a 2020 World Series title* really mean? | Help us get "Cardboard Pete" a seat for Giants home games! | More funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: MLB attempts to murder Minor League Baseball
July 02, 2020
29 | There Will Be Baseball
PLAY FUCKING BALL! Baseball is BACK (maybe) so what will the truncated season look like? | Fans in the stands would be a welcome sight, but the logistics would be fraught with issue | Are we finally getting a Marquee Network deal with Comcast? | CUBS RUB: Instead of a hype video, an apology and a thank you to the fans for putting up with this shit would've been more appropriate | More funny shit we couldn't make up across MLB | GIGANTISM: Oracle Park gets some real bullpens while fans get personalized cardboard cutouts | Asshole of the Week: MLB & MLBPA
June 26, 2020
28 | SPECIAL REPORT: Threat Level Manfred
The latest on MLB's "proposal" to return to play | Is MLB trying to cover up a Yankees' cheating scandal? | A mixed "Long Gone Summer" review | Did Albert Belle have a better 1998 than Sosa? | Asshole of the Week emeritus Rob Manfred, of course
June 18, 2020
27 | The Official A-Holes' 2020 MLB Draft Recap
2020 MLB Draft recap | $hit $how: Millionaires vs Billionaires latest developments | NEW SEGMENT: Shit We Couldn't Make Up | 30 for 30 "Long Gone Summer" preview | PV's Wrigley Rickshaw Story | Plus, a very special Asshole of the Week
June 12, 2020
26 | A Simple $hit $how Solution
Millionaires & Billionaires can solve their $hit $how with an 82-game season and some deferred payments | CUBS RUB: Tom Ricketts needs to stop talking | ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK: Washington Nationals | 2020 MLB Draft Projections for the Tigers, Sox, Giants, and Cubs | BREAKING Trevor Bauer dating news!!
June 04, 2020
25 | Owners Master the Art of Assholish Negotiation
Millionaires vs. Billionaires saga continues: The Players Strike Back | Can a $hit Show find common ground? | Bauer vs. Boras vs. Ricketts | Asshole of the Week: Angels owner Arte Moreno | Moneyball 2: With A Vengeance: Gutting the Minor Leagues | Hypothetical expansion draft: Cubs/Sox protected players
May 29, 2020
24 | The $hit $how Must Go On...
Millionaires vs Billionaires update | No licking, no spitting, no fighting! | Potential playoff plans | Cubs payroll reductions | Last Dance takeaways: Jerry Reinsdorf is cheap | Asshole of the Week: Alex Rodriguez | Sounds of Silence
May 21, 2020
23 | Battle of Millionaires vs. Billionaires Begins
The war of words between the owner and MLBPA has begun | Fallout from the 2020 MLB draft being cut to just 5 rounds | Blake Snell's timing might be poor, but he isn't wrong | Asshole of the Week: J.B. Pritzker | Cubs Run: Sinclair Broadcast Group are a bunch of scumbags | Marquee Network News | Tigers Shit: 10 years later, Armando Galarraga wants credit for his (im)Perfect Game
May 15, 2020
22 | Could Labor Strife Fuck Up MLB's Potential Return?
MLB's newest contingency proposal goes to the Players Association for approval, but could money derail everything? | The Asshole's Guide to Korean Baseball | Fake Baseball Updates: Baseball Reference sim, MLB The Show 20 Players League | Tigers' draft options: Spencer Torkelson or Austin Martin | Asshole of the Week: Miami Marlins & Tampa Bay Rays
May 07, 2020
21 | It's The End Of The NL/AL As We Know It!
MLB's newest contingency plan to return to home (but empty) stadiums is the best yet by far | Imagining what baseball would've looked like one month into the season | MLB finally buckled under our pressure to finally offer ticket refunds | Another Cubs fan sues after being hit by a foul ball | Could MLB Expansion could be on the horizon? | Asshole of the Week: Pirates owner, Bob Nutting
May 01, 2020
20 | Not a Great Week for Rob Manfred
No Refund update: Lawsuit! | Asshole of the Week: Rob Manfred | The "Three Hub" Idea pros and cons | Cubs choose not to participate in COVID-19 antibody study | Michael Jordan/Sox conspiracy theories | Baseball Reference 2020 season simulation update | Sox Park & Wrigley Field Concessions Draft
April 23, 2020
19 | Cubs vs. Sox in a New Economic Reality
EPISODE 19 - A savior is born: Christ Bryant had a baby! - Big Hurt vs Mike Trout - Cactus League & Grapefruit League "idea" - Effects of a new economic reality on the Cubs & Sox - More sim updates because that's all we've got right now - Asshole of the Week: MLB for not offering ticket refunds
April 17, 2020
18 | Fuck it, Just Build a Goddamn Bio Dome!
- Tribute to “Mr. Tiger” Al Kaline - Could MLB’s metaphorical “bio dome” bring back baseball as soon as May? - Local TV is dropping the ball - Simulated baseball is the only baseball stimulation we’Ve got right now
April 09, 2020
17 | MLB Labor News: Cubs Get Fucked, Tigers Win, Sox in Between
EPISODE 17 • RIP Ed Farmer • Latest MLB schedule contingency plans • New labor agreement winners and losers • MLB The Show 20 game review • Our top baseball movie picks • Asshole of the Week: Evan Gattis
April 03, 2020
16 | The Baseball Fan's Pandemic Survival Guide
- How a 162-game schedule could still possibly work. - Asshole of the Week: Rob Manfred for suggesting MLB cancel the draft to save some cash. - Worst free-agent signings in the history of the Cubs, White Sox, Tigers, and Giants. - Streaming Guide for the Apocalypse
March 25, 2020
15 | PLOT TWIST in the Marquee Network Drama!
- Marquee Network Review: 2016 Run for the Ring - New MLB schedule contingency plans - Worst trades in Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants history - What we're watching instead of baseball - Asshole of the Week: COVID-19
March 20, 2020
14 | Moncada Deal + More Marquee Network Drama
Is the new Yoan Moncada deal really "team friendly"? More bad news for Marquee Network on YouTube TV and Comcast fronts. Tigers fans FINALLY seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Whining isn't going to get Barry Bonds into the Hall. The 3-batter minimum is an opportunity, but few are choosing to see it. Plus, Asshole of the Week: Parlay Patz.
March 10, 2020
13 | Playoffs or Bust, Bitches!
Theo and Joe officially bury the hatchet on national TV, but Bryzzo steals the show. MORE Marquee Network drama with YouTube TV. NEW segments "Cubs Rub" and "SOXual Harassment" tackle issues on both sides of town. Dallas Keuchel's mom gives Sox a perfectly profane slogan for 2020. MLB cracks down on video tech in the dugout and sticky substances for pitchers. PLUS, Asshole of the Week: Jim Crane.
March 04, 2020
12 | STRAP IT ON — Spring Training Begins!
Does Grandpa Rossy need a well-being check? Will the Kris Bryant leadoff experiment work? Sox extend Aaron Bummer and now possibly Yoan Moncada? Say hello to Mason Saunders! Madison Bumgarner goes undercover to join the rodeo. Asshole of the Week: David Ortiz vs. Rob Manfred vs. litigious daily fantasy gamblers.
February 25, 2020
11 | Baseball is a Total Shitshow
The current state of baseball can only be described as a total shitshow. Rob Manfred is apologizing to trophies and blaming the Players Union for granting immunity to Astros players. Players are fuming at Astros players. Carlos Correa and Astros players aren't sorry about anything other than getting caught. Theo Epstein and Joe Maddon are politely feuding in the media. Hell, even Kris Bryant is showing some anger!
February 19, 2020
10 | What the Betts Trade Says About Bryant's Trade Value
- What does the Mookie Betts deal mean for what the Cubs might get in return for Kris Bryant? - Expanded playoffs are fucking awesome for everyone. - Ridiculous Nolan Aranado White Sox trade Twitter rumors - AJ Hinch ALMOST tells the truth - Asshole of the Week: the eternal Pete Rose debate RAGES on...
February 11, 2020
9 | Potential Kris Bryant Trade Destinations
Now that Kris Bryant's service time grievance has been denied, the Cubs can get down to business and there are still plenty of potential trade partners out there. An insider Sox ticket scam costs the team $1M. Salute to Curtis Granderson upon his retirement. DH to the NL? MLB punishes the Astros further with Dusty Baker. Plus, Asshole of the Week!
February 04, 2020
8 | Sox optimism, Cubs angst, ASStros scandal, HOF bullshit
Slightly misguided Cubs fans booed Tom Ricketts and the Marquee Network while White Sox fans are seeing nothing but rainbows and lollipops — it's the Bizarro World! Plus, between dumb Hall of Fame voting controversies and the worst baseball scandal since 1919, this might be the hottest race for Asshole of the Week ever.
January 28, 2020
7 | Sox Sign Grandal and Help the Cubs?
The White Sox signing catcher Yasmani Grandal to a 4-year $73M deal may have far-reaching effects on both the South Side and North Side of Chicago.
November 22, 2019
6 | David Ross Becomes Grandpa Bossy
The David Ross Era begins, for what it's worth. The Kris Bryant grievance is FINALLY being heard this week and the timing couldn't be more interesting. Thoughts on the playoffs and on what is already a fascinating World Series.
October 24, 2019
5 | Is Second Place Good Enough for the White Sox?
Has Jerry Reinsdorf's plan always been for his White Sox to finish in 2nd place every year just to keep the fans interested while maximizing profits? And can we just change the name of the Wild Card Game to the Play-In Game so people can stop whining that it's not a 3-game series?
October 08, 2019
4 | 2019 Asshole of the Year
Our thoughts on the 2019 Cubs, White Sox, Tigers, and Giants. PLUS Asshole of the Year nominations (Addison Russell & Theo Epstein)and playoff predictions.
October 01, 2019
3 | Death of the Joe Maddon Era
SPECIAL EDITION: “The Death of the Joe Maddon Era” — we discuss what happened, who’s to blame, and what’s next? More Kris Bryant trade talk. Kyle Schwarber too? Will Craig Kimbrell or Theo Epstein win Asshole of the Week? Obviously, we have ALL the answers!
September 24, 2019
2 | Rizzo Down. Cubs Out?
Whether you like it or not, WE’RE BACK with Episode 2 of The Show! Cubs have a HUGE weekend but lose Anthony Rizzo. Is Rick Hahn‘s grace period about to end? Joe Maddon to the Sox?? Ozzie Guillen to the Cubs?? And a truly SHOCKING Asshole of the Week nomination!
September 17, 2019
1 | The Case for trading Kris Bryant
We’re LIVE, mofos! Our first episode of Major League A-Holes: The Show is in the can. We covered a lot of ground including thoughts on the sputtering Cubs, the disappointing Giants, the hopeful White Sox, and the dismal Tigers. Should the Cubs trade Kris Bryant? Should the Giants have traded Madison Bumgarner? Did you know Tim Anderson and Jose Abreu could be AL AVG and RBI champs? Is Dave Dombrowski just a dick or is there more to it? Who will be the Asshole of the Week? Tune in to find out!
September 14, 2019