Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE
By Wordhole Media
Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE is an irreverent baseball podcast by a couple of opinionated pricks in Chicago and Detroit. We focus on the Cubs, White Sox, and Tigers as well as the Giants and A’s (long story). We'll also throw out our 2¢ on MLB issues of the day whenever we feel like it.
89 | Congrats, Owners — You Got Your Fucking Lockout
[NOTE: Apologies for Smitty's shitty audio quality as we had some technical difficulties we were unaware of at the time of recording. We'll do better next time.] Make no mistake, #MLB owners CHOSE to step away from the negotiating table and leave the baseball world in limbo for the foreseeable future | Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs have apparently recovered from their "biblical losses" and "spent intelligently" on SP Marcus Stroman | #WhiteSox fail to make any splashy moves before Dec 1 artificial deadline, but Rich Hahn still has plenty of time and options to improve for 2022 | Javy Baez is a MASSIVE upgrade at SS for the #Tigers and will be a fan favorite in Detroit | #SFGiant try to recreate the magic of 2021 with shrewd free agent signings | A's move to Vegas looks more imminent and intriguing by the day | New York Mess owner soothes his hurt feelings by spending a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS on free agents | MLB owners are objectively Assholes of the Week
December 3, 2021
88 | Tigers are DOMINATING the Off-Season
Crafty Al Avila hasn't wasted any time checking off items on #Tigers to-do list with Eduardo Rodriguez signing | Carlos Correa and AJ Hinch had themselves a nice brunch date | Rick Hahn is making tough, but correct business decisions for the #WhiteSox | #SFGiants need to exploit tremendous financial flexibility | Claiming Wade Miley is the kind of smart move Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs should've made last year | Not one, not two, but three Bad Tweets from bumbling Bob Nightengale | Spooky numerology in Atlanta points to The Hammer's influence from the great beyond | ASSTHETICS: Kansas City's "new" uniforms steal the spotlight from Cleveland's botched rebrand launch | Revolution Brewing's 'Deep Wood Series' showcases the best of barrel-aged beers
November 20, 2021
87 | Post-Postseason News Explosion!
A victory for truth, justice, and the American way? #Braves defeat #Astros in 117th #WorldSeries | PETA shoves "Arm Barn" up everyone's ass | First shots fired in the $hitshow To End All $hitshows over new CBA | Jason McLeod leaving #Cubs is as mysterious as his time in the shadows of the organization | Defense loses championships for #WhiteSox | BREAKING: Buster Posey sudden retirement sparks questions for #SFGiants | Do the Fuckin' A's and Oakland have a fucking stadium deal or not?? Either way, they don't have a manager anymore | #Tigers not wasting any time fulfilling post-postseason agenda adding C Tucker Barnhart | Cleveland Guardians (the baseball club, not the roller derby team) are assholes | ASSTHETICS: Atlanta has an obvious solution to name issue #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
November 4, 2021
86 | Giants Magic Ride Comes to Brutal End
The #SFGIants were going to lose Game 5 and the NLDS whether Wilmer Flores swung or not, but it doesn't make the obvious blown call any easier to stomach | #Cubs attempt to fix their most glaring organizational failure with new GM, Carter Hawkins | Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing: Joc Pederson | #RedSox fans too loud, obnoxious, and vulgar for FOX postgame show | Nightengale's bad tweet about #WhiteSox and Craig Kimbrel inexplicably gaining traction nationally | Ron Darling is an asshole who sounds just like James Woods #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 22, 2021
85 | Fade to Black: 2021 White Sox Post Mortem
The #WhiteSox vs. #Astros ALDS had so many goddamn layers and storylines that we dedicated an entire fucking episode to it complete with Asshole of the Week, more funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up, ASKHOLE?! and yet another one of Bob's Bad Tweets. Plus, a brand new segment — Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing. #ChangeTheGame
October 15, 2021
84 | Playoff Previews & Season Recaps
#WhiteSox lose Game 1, but things are lining up in their favor going forward | #Tigers front office confirms they'll spend, but not like drunken sailors | #Cubs season ends with a COVID outbreak because of course it did | One of the two best teams in baseball will be out after #SFGiants and#Dodgers face off | Dumbass Injury of the Week: JD Martinez | Hot race for MLA Manager of the Year #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 8, 2021
83 | The Revolution WILL be Podcasted!
The revolution will not be televised, but it WILL be podcasted as Revolution Brewing Co. becomes the presenting sponsor of Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE!!! | Benches clear in Detroit for a #WhiteSox & #Tigers tickle fight | Brutal injury news for the #SFGiants as Brandon Belt breaks a thumb on a bunt | Dumbass Injury of the Week: #Brewers Devin Williams breaks his pitching hand punching a wall after a few drinks at their Division-clinching celebration | Joe West will finally retire, but not until botching a call that could run the #RedSox season | How fucking crazy could this AL Wild Card race get this weekend?? | We revisit the worst of our Nostradumbass predictions for the 2021 season #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
October 1, 2021
82 | Cubs Sold Their Soul for a Piece of Shit
#WhiteSox clinch the AL Central for the first time in 13 years | #Tigers rolling over first-place teams at crunch time | PV dominates Revolution Brewing Co. #GrandSlamCan event | #SFGiants clinch MLA 2021 Season Championship | #Cubs pundits/fans need to slow their roll on Brennan Davis | A's badass Chris Bassett makes a triumphant return after getting his face bashed in | Salvador Perez historic production raises eyebrows in more ways than one | #Padres melt down in every way imaginable | Toronto/Tampa contraband contrasty exposes the dumbest side of baseball | Co-Assholes of the Week: Conor McGregor and the Chicago Cubs
September 24, 2021
81 | Will We Ever See the REAL White Sox?
#SFGiants may have clinched a playoff berth, but a tough two-week battle for the division lies ahead | #WhiteSox frustrations mount along with nagging injury concerns | Do Tony La Russa and Joe Maddon have beef? | #Tigers knock off not one, but two #WorldSeries hopefuls in one week | Miguel Cabrera on the doorstep of yet another exclusive club | Dumbass Injury of the Week: Jose Cisnero? | The #UmpShow must NOT go on | SWCMU: Tim Timmons had a problem with Baltimore's grounds crew | Ryan Braun earned Asshole of the Week for a lifetime of achievement in the field of Assholery #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 17, 2021
80 | San Francisco Bryants Return to the Schwindy City
Maybe the #WhiteSox were looking ahead to the Boston series as their nightmares continue in Oakland? | Kris Bryant returns to Wrigley Field for the first time in anything but a #Cubs uniform | It's Frank Schwindel's city now, we're all just living in it | Miguel Cabrera's historic week gives him a legitimate shot at 3,000 hits THIS season | Pitch clock makes Mike Montgomery lose his shit in Korea #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 10, 2021
79 | Ballgame Breaks Out During Crosstown Slugfest
It was an embarrassing Crosstown Series for both the Sox and Cubs in more ways than one | #WhiteSox injuries piling up again as stretch run approaches | #Cubs need to be aggressive, yet measured in their approach to free agency | It took all the way into September, but #SFGiants have finally lost sole possession of first place | #Tigers fought valiantly, but ultimately overmatched by A's | Oakland looks strong on offense and defense, but the bullpen is suspect and rotation looks thin on run to playoffs | A.J. Hinch has changed the culture in Detroit, now he's changing the perception of Detroit as contenders | AOTW: The entire #NYMets organization is one gigantic asshole #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
September 3, 2021
78 | Crosstown BLOODBATH Preview
#WhiteSox finish toughest two weeks of the season a disappointing 7-7 | Tony La Russa's "no comment" just leads to more questions | Crosstown Series Preview: it's going to be a mess | Nick Castellanos could be #Cubs top free-agent target | Never mind the shitty product on the field, Cubs brass pat themselves on the back with chintzy new Hall of Fame and over the top Saving Wrigley Field documentary | Miguel Cabrera reaches rarified air with 500th home run, but will the #Tigers dump him once he reaches 3,000 hits? | #SFGiants snubbed by #MLB power rankings | #Dodgers and #Padres 16-inning marathon is a gigantic outlier, not the rule | Casey Mize gets the Barry Bonds treatment in STL #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 27, 2021
77 | The Cornfield That Saved Baseball
Miguel Cabrera stuck on #499 as young #Tigers | Jack Morris ends up with his foot in his mouth after an ill-fated attempt at humor with dumb Shohei Ohtani comment | ASSTHETICS: How a cornfield saved baseball | Crosstiown trade made sense for both sides of town, but have the #WhiteSox already missed their opportunity to leverage Crag Kimbrel's maximum potential? | Oakland's Chris Bassitt lucky to be alive while Ramon Laureano's luck runs out with 80-game PED suspension | #Cubs hardly recognizable and hardly worth mentioning after complete dismantling the | Jake Arrieta earns Asshole of the Week honors in a sad end the former North Side hero | Kris Bryant finds the perfect home with #SFGiants | Tyler Gilbert's No-No of the Week leads to speculation that MLB's "sticky stuff" era is far from over #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 21, 2021
BONUS: Pete's Post-Deadline Pontifications
Originally recorded on August 2, PV put his thoughts out there on an insane MLB trade deadline while Smitty was on vacation. Did Jed Hoyer swing and miss on the Kris Bryant deal with the #SFGiants? | Craig Kimbrell for Nick Madrigal and Codi Heuer will live in #Cubs #WhiteSox infamy | Was Al Avila asleep at the wheel again, failing to move Jonathan Schoop? (NOTE: The answer is NO as Schoop subsequently agreed to a two-year extension with the #Tigers on August 7.) #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
August 14, 2021
76 | DEADLINE SPECIAL: Premature Speculation
Kris Bryant and Ryan Tepera for Joey Bart would serve the #SFGiants and #Cubs very well | #MLB's hypocrisy exposed once again as Javy Baez is fined for showing emotion on the field while MLB markets the shit out of it | Cubs maximize an asset and A's gain a legendary cult hero with Andrew Chafin trade | The Jesus Lizard shockingly dealt to Miami for expensive rental, Starling Marte | Dallas Keuchel struggles versus lefties has him feeling like he's pitching on Mars, but is that a bad thing? | Rick Hahn has #WhiteSox fans worried he's overplayed his hand being TOO patient waiting for the trade market to come to him while the supply of bullpen arms and middle infielders dwindles | Miguel Cabrera passes Barry Bonds on the all-time hits list and inches closer to 500 home runs | #Tigers Eric Haase and Akil Baddoo emerging as serious Rookie of the Year contenders at the expense of division rivals | If MLB is really worried about viewership numbers being down they could simply lift their fucking ridiculous blackout policy | Know your history, kids — comparing Shohei Ohtani and Babe Ruth is lazy and an injustice to both #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 29, 2021
75 | Hottest Team in Baseball? Your Detroit Fucking Tigers!
The #Tigers are *arguably* the HOTTEST team in baseball since the All-Star break | Could Jonathan Schoop and Jose Cisnero be on the move from Motown to the Southside? | Stellar #WhiteSox vs. #Brewers pitching matchups could be a #WorldSeries preview | More minor league drama for Yermin Mercedes and Eloy Jiménez | Lance Lynn, Sox consummate budding relationship with 2-year, $38M extension | Kris Bryant's "fatigued" hamstring awakens in time to squash tired injury narrative for the #Cubs just before the trade deadline | Potential Craig Kimbrel trade partners list grows | A disinterested Anthony Rizzo might get a wakeup call in Boston or New York | Despite criticism, Javy Baez is still among MLB elite | #SFGiants remain #ResilientSF despite limited expectations | It's officially time for the #Athletics and the City of Oakland to break the fuck up | Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls cliffhanger resolved in very predictable fashion | Does Bob Nightengale have some sort of cognitive disability we probably shouldn't be making fun of any more? | Mysterious sponsor patch appears on #MLB umpires' uniforms | ASSTHETICS: Even Cleveland seemed embarrassed by the release of their boring new name and amateurish logo set #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 24, 2021
74 | Our Very Special All-Star Week Edition
Liam Hendriks’ potty mouth was the highlight of a mediocre #ASG | ASKHOLE: Why the fuck do the #WhiteSox have Eloy Jimenez in left field? | Pete’s Twitter War: There’s NO comparison between Leury Garcia and Trevor Story | Shohei Ohtani was slightly disappointing but the Home Run Derby was definitely not | The future is bright for the #Cubs and #Tigers if the Futures Game is any indication | Willson Contreras exposed a completely fractured Cubs clubhouse | Crafty Al Avila shocked the world by drafting not one, but TWO #MLB Pipeline Top 10 prospects with RHPs Jackson Jobe and Ty Madden | Rob Manfred tried to use his All-Star bully pulpit to strong-arm Oakland into giving the #Athletcis a new stadium | No more shifts, 7-inning doubleheaders, or Manfred Men on 2B in extras if Rob has his way in 2022 | ASSTHETICS: Homogeneous uniforms ruin one of the coolest things about the ASG | Asshole(s) of the Week: Cowardly Houston Astros make up lame excuses why they couldn’t face the heat in Denver | Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls: The suspense is killing us (and Hector Santiago) #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 16, 2021
73 | Trade Winds Are A-Blowin' (and so are the Cubs)
It pays to drink on a Thirsty Thursday as PV is a #WhiteSox experience instant winner! | Trade rumors are starting to fly as #Cubs Craig Kimbrel emerges as the hottest commodity on the MLB market | Sox lose Yasmani Grandal, dump Adam Eaton, but Eloy Jimenez returns from the dead | #Tigers Draft Preview: Lots of options at #3 overall | Jake Arrieta is the only one who doesn't think he's done | NEW SEGMENT ALERT: 'You Know What I Fucking Hate?' with Joe Fitz | #SFGiants release a very foggy Nike City Connect uni | Trevor Bauer earns a very disturbing Asshole of the Week dishonor | Nick Castellanos has impeccably awkward timing #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
July 9, 2021
72 | Death of the Cubs 'Golden Era'
It was a helluva nearly 6-year run, but June 30th, 2021 marked the end of the Cubs 'Golden Era' | A No-No of the Week that no one knew about | Josh Donaldson vs. Lucas Giolito reveals macho insecurity of everyone involved | It's Burger Time on the Southside! | Bob Nightengale's latest Bad Tweet undermines #WhiteSox ability to make Escobar deal | How the #Tigers could 'restore the roar' as soon as 2022 | Jaylin Davis' return could spark #SFGiants just in time | BART fiasco just the latest example of the City of Oakland kicking #Athletics to the curb | Hector Santiago calls MLB's bluff by appealing his Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls suspension
July 2, 2021
71 | MLB The Peep Show '21
After just two days MLB's misguided and reactionary 'sticky stuff' enforcement policy has predictably devolved into an embarrassing train wreck | An unwitting Ben Zobrist is making headlines once again after filing suit against his pastor for banging his wife | White Sox' pen not as mighty as their words | Javier Báez getting benched might be the best thing that could've happened for him | We announce your 2021 Major League A*Holes All-Stat Team #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
June 24, 2021
70 | Opening Day 2.0 — An Epic Chicago Party
You know the world is getting back to normal when Bill Murray is doing the 7th-Inning Stretch, beer snakes are setting records, and we're talking shit and drinking beers together again | Do you want the good news or bad news about White Sox injuries first? | The Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls saga has only just begun and it's a total shitshow | Tigers seeing encouraging signs down on the farm | Giants balance short term success vs. long-term health of the franchise | Rizzo's non-vaccinated stance creates potential disaster for Cubs | A's pick up Bob Melvin's option, but where's the extension? | Trevor Bauer awards Mickey Mouse Cy Youngs after 60 games | Rob Manfred is still an asshole (at least he's consistent)
June 18, 2021
69 | Sticky Fingers & Snapped Hamstrings
Nick Madrigal is the latest to fall victim to Chicago's hamstring pandemic | Rivalry Weekend dominated by Sox/Giants | Did TLR break The Yerminator or was he just a flash in the pan? | Nothing but Smart Bombs and Wise Cracks for Patrick Wisdom | Brandon Crawford's lifetime of Gigantism | Sick or not, Jake Arrieta and his excuses sucked in SF | Cubs' Minister of Financial Propaganda Crane Kenney is a liar and an asshole | Sticky fingers and sticky balls are NOT anything like the steroids scandal | Insert obligatory Pirates joke here
June 11, 2021
68 | First Trimester Report Cards
Rivalry Weekend kicks off for Tigers/Sox and Cubs/Giants | We grade the performances of all five teams we cover over the first two months | Jed Hoyer admits Cubs are now "ahead of schedule financially" and can add at the trade deadline, but how could they not have anticipated this six months ago when "biblical losses" shaped their offseason agenda? | Sox-on-Sox crimes: Are we allowed to have fun now? | Spencer Torkelson beginning to live up to expectations in High-A for Tigers | Bob Melvin passes Tony La Russa on A's all-time wins list | Bob Brenly finds himself in deep "du" | Jack Flaherty finds himself on IL for no good reason | Asshole of the Week: Marcell Ozuna #CubTogether #ChangetheGame #DetroitRoots #ResilientSF #RiseandGrind #MakeItMajor
June 4, 2021
67 | Javy Báez: Agent of Chaos
Nike/White Sox new 'Southside' uniforms knock it out of the fucking park | Joe West is probably good at his job but he's still a total asshole | Pirates abysmal defense exposed by Javier Báez and his uncanny ability to make crazy shit happen on the basepaths | Boy, that escalated quickly as A's Chris Bassitt turns his career around while wielding a golden trident | Robbie Grossman and the Tigers walk-off Gerrit Cole and the Yankees | New Era botches attempt to make their own city connection | Naked man terrorizes security and tarp tube with #Natitude | Zach Plesac earns Dumb Ass Injury of the Week honor
May 29, 2021
66 | Mercedes Gets Thrown Under LARUSSAPALOOZA Bus
Tony La Russa takes our illustrious Asshole of the Week honor in a landslide | Spencer Turnbull's overshadowed No-No | Cubs/TIgers centuries-old rivalry renewed | Cubs reach peak nostalgia marketing levels vs. old friends Jon Lester and Kyle Schwarber | Jake Arrieta's anti-vax stance creatures competitive disadvantage | Giants success a double-edged sword as approaching trade deadline creates a familiar dilemma | Dave Martinez lost his mind in the most amusing way possible | Loyal listener gets on-air laugh during Sox broadcast
May 21, 2021
65 | Vegas Baby! Uprooted In Oakland
Shit Show 2.1: Great, now the Millionaires and Billionaires are suing each other | Chicago boosts stadium capacity to 60% | White Sox rise to the top of MLB | Questions remain about Giants' hot start | In a standoff with no heroes, the City of Oakland stands out as our Asshole of the Week | War of '84: Cubs vs. Tigers battle of baseball mediocrity | NY Mess: Raccoon vs. Rat | Ryno is on the weed? | Mr. October is our newest fan! | MLB Food Fight fucked everything up
May 14, 2021
64 | Ignorance No Defense for Sleepy La Ru
Game strategy and rule book knowledge are no longer Tony La Russa's strengths | You can stop with the Kris Bryant/Sox trade rumors | Javy Baez needs to look in the mirror before attacking Amir Garrett | Cubs sweep the World Champs* | A very JOCular Asshole of the Week | Jesus Lizard just the latest MLB video game casualty | Miguel Cabrera is terrible, but he's NOT getting DFA'd | Astros run to daddy Manfred for help
May 7, 2021
63 | Are the Giants for Fucking REAL?
Somehow, your San Francisco Giants find themselves atop the BEST division in baseball | Is a new stadium deal actually on the verge of getting done in Oakland? | You can throw out the record books when the Tigers and White Sox get together (or not) | Abysmal Cubs still find ways to amuse themselves and piss off others | No no-no? Yes no-no? I don't know. Who cares?
May 2, 2021
62 | Fuckin' A's are MAGIC!
The Oakland A's are making history in all sorts of crazy ways on their 11-game winning streak | Buster Posey's renaissance and solid pitching are fueling the Giants solid start | Cubs crawl back up to .500 and finally reach the Medoza Line, but what is Javy Baez worth right now? | White Sox still overcoming injuries as they underachieve | So much funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up you couldn't make it up | Major League A*Holes are Assholes of the Week for yet another history-making moment this week
April 23, 2021
61 | RODóNONO!!!
Carlos Rodón missed a Perfect Game by a goddamn shoelace, but settling for a No-Hitter still isn't bad | PV experiences a game at Sox Park for the first time in years | Tigers maul the ASStros as A.J. Hinch returns to the scene of the crime | Cubs COVID outbreak piles pestilence upon already painful start | Are the Cubs and Willson Contreras just too sensitive about getting hit by seven Brewers pitches in 14 games? | Johnny Cueto's promising start might pay dividends for =Giants at trade deadline | Week 2 had plenty of funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Get your facts straight! Smitty earns his first Asshole of the Week
April 17, 2021
60 | Welcome to IN THE HOLE!
Big news for the podcast as we unveil a new name and launch a goddamn t-shirt shop | #SFGiants seize control of the A*Hole standing as the only team above .500 | At least the #Cubs futility brings some clarity | #WhiteSox storylines are abundant | Miggy's iconic Opening Day blast and Baddoo's breakout mark fleeting fun start to #Tigers season | #Athletics dismal start compounded by major injuries | Bizarre Boston/Nike unis harbinger of strange looks to come in Chicago | Trevor Bauer's sticky balls are the talk of the town — just the way he likes it | Even the #Mets disapprove of their bullshit walk-off win | Asshole of the Week: Chris Young
April 13, 2021
59 | Happy Opening April Fool's Day!
April Fool's hijinks and Opening Day roster surprises | Javy Baez is NOT Francisco Lindor just like Anthony Rizzo is NOT Paul Goldschmidt, so STOP fucking comparing them | Trying to stream Marquee Network is a completely FUBAR experience | NostraDumbass: Predictions for MVP, Cy Young, and ROY | Bad Tweets: Where are all the White Sox fans? #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics #MLB #OpeningDay
April 1, 2021
58 | White Sox NOT Completely Fucked by Eloy's Folly
Yeah, of course, it sucks losing Eloy Jiménez for 5-6 months, but the Sox still have lots of options in LF | Do the Math: Capacity expanded to 25% at Wrigley/Sox Park (kinda?) | Cubs' drug mule gets busted with A LOT of product | Our 'NostraDumbass' predictions for the 2021 season are so hot, they will melt your face!!! #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics
March 26, 2021
Fantasy Special '21
No one asked for it, but we fucking did it anyway... enjoy our LIVE play-by-play coverage of the 18th-Annual Major League A$$holes Fantasy Draft!
March 20, 2021
57 | Cubs/Sox Polar Opposite 5-Year Anniversaries
How Rob Manfred almost cost Kyle Hendricks his season | Kris Bryant still doesn't 'give a shit' but still kinda gives a shit | Chuck Garfien is the David Kaplan of the South Side | Five Years Later: Adam LaRoche incident was merely a hint of even weirder shit to come for 2016 White Sox | A's dalliance with cryptocurrency feels a little shady | ESPN's Buster Olney strikes out his thick bush | Our fantasy draft preview that no one needs or asked for | Assthetics: Enough with the half-assed St. Patty's Day uniforms #Cubs #WhiteSox #Athletics #MLB
March 19, 2021
56 | Fans Back in the Fucking Stands!
States and local governments announce the limited return of fans to ballparks across the county | Asshole of the Week: Texas takes it too far | Rules changes for the Minors could have a MAJOR impact | White Sox fans ranked "booziest" and "biggest lightweights" in the game | Cubs Rub: What the fuck was Pedro Strop thinking? | Tigers Shit: Can someone please get Spencer Torkelson a god damn can opener! | Fuckin' A's: The Jesus Lizard and his Turkey Sub | Premature Celebration: Mets continue to embarrass themselves on a weekly basis #Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #SFGiants #Athletics
March 12, 2021
55 | Welcome Oakland Fuckin' A's!
We welcome our fifth team to our regular coverage, the Oakland Athletics | "Fuck it" Tim Anderson doesn't mince words when he declared the #WhiteSox to be the best team in the AL | Tatis Jr. deal further exposes #Cubs ownership bullshit in crying poor | Did Kris Bryant just dis Theo Epstein? | After just one year, Marquee Network already in reruns | #SFGiants facing major decisions with pending free agents to be | #Tigers Miguel Cabrera could enter exclusive 3000/500 Club in 2021 | Angel Hernandez and the New York Mets continue to create the best Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Johnny Damon is an asshole
March 2, 2021
54 | Cubs' Offseason Cognitive Dissonance
2021 rules include 7-inning doubleheaders and runners on base in extra innings | Jake Arrieta nostalgic signing example of #Cubs' conflicted offseason planning | La Russa's top concern to remain 'Hall of Famer Baseball Person' | PECOTA projections send Twittersphere into tizzy | There are no bad 1-year deals for #Tigers #SFGiants | Bad Tweets: Nightengale/Heyman continue to set new standards for incompetence | ASKHOLE: What if #WhiteSox had moved to Tampa in 1990? When will Tigers return to glory? | AOTW: Most despised teammates in baseball history
February 18, 2021
53 | NL/AL Central Heat Up Frosty Free Agent Market
Joc Pederson takes less money to join Cubs over Sox | Nolan Arenado tips NL Central balance of power | Twins overpay for aging Nelson Cruz | ASKHOLE: Why will Baez/Bryant return to prominence? No Plan B for Sox if La Russa fails? | $hit$how 2.0: Don't buy the Owners' clickbait | Bad Tweets LIVE | Mickey Callaway is an asshole
February 5, 2021
52 | North Side Crisis: Cub Nation in Turmoil
Cubs fans, pundits, and even Kris Bryant are upset about the current direction of the franchise | White Sox don't need to sign Nelson Cruz | Giants signing Tommy LaStella just another example of trying to be a little bit pregnant | Tigers are the new Farm System Champions | Is it time to abolish the Hall of Fame? | NEW SEGMENT #1: Bob Nightengale's Bad Tweets | Shitshow 2.0: Owners now working back channels to hide duplicitous agenda | NEW SEGMENT #2: ASKHOLE | Asshole of the Week: Jared Porter and his naked, erect penis #Cubs #WhiteSox #SFGiants #Tigers #MLB
January 29, 2021
51 | No Worries, Mate! Sox Sign Hendriks
White Sox continue to not fuck around and sign the best closer on the market | The market was better for Kyle Schwarber than anyone thought | Rumors of an imminent Kris Bryant trade were greatly exaggerated | Jon "Boog" Sciambi becomes the new voice of the Cubs | Marcell Ozuna to the Giants? | Does anyone even bother listening to Rob Manfred anymore? | Asshole of the Week: first-time Hall of Fame voter makes it all about himself
January 13, 2021
50 | Asshole of the Year: Rob Manfred
Cubs only have themselves to blame for lopsided Yu Darvish trade | White Sox hot stove heats up with Yoelqui Céspedes and Adam Engel signings | Tony La Russa is lucky he's a rich and famous old white guy | In a year replete with worthy candidates, Commissioner Rob Manfred runs away with our second-annual Asshole of the Year award
December 31, 2020
49 | Winter Meetings (kinda? sorta?) Special
Busy White Sox trade for Lance Lynn and sign Adam "Spanky" Eaton | Marquee Network Drama: The Search for Kasper's Successor | Risky Business: MLB umpire arrested in human trafficking sting | Asshole of the Week: MLB wins their fucking War on Minor League Baseball
December 11, 2020
48 | Kasper the Friendly Host Goes BiSOXual
Like rats on a sinking ship, Theo Epstein and now Len Kasper are getting fuck out of the Friendly Confines | Kris Bryant's gonna get traded so deal with it | Non-tender deadline casualties litter both sides of Chicago | White Sox should trade for Blake Snell | Drinky La Ru will plead guilty to sweep his issues under the rug ASAP | Robinson Cano was a Hall of Famer, now he's just an Asshole
December 4, 2020
47 | La-Russa-Palooza Circus Takes a Drunk Turn
Tony La Russa was charged with DUI the day BEFORE Sox announced him as their new manager | José Abreu earns AL MVP, just as we called it | Jon Lester got fired and bought Chicago a round of beers | December 2 may be a day that will live in infamy | AJ Hinch hiring ushers in a new era in Tigers history | A theory on why Rob Manfred failed to punish Justin Turner for his reckless behavior
November 16, 2020
SPECIAL REPORT: White Sox Hire Tony La Russa. Seriously?
Shit just got real, folks. Despite all logic and public scorn, Jerry Reinsdorf has decided the 76-year old Tony La Russa will be his next manager. Yet another move that undermines the legitimacy of Rick Hahn as General Manager, who clearly wanted no part of this bizarre decision.
October 30, 2020
46 | A Fitting End to a Fucked Up Season
Wild and weird #WorldSeries recap | Asshole of the Week: Justin Turner | White Sox & Tigers managerial searches ramp up | Marquee Network Drama: The Disappointing Sequel | Which 2020 MLB rules changes should we keep? | 2021 free-agent market looking rather thin | Gold Glove awards are bullshit
October 28, 2020
45 | White Sox Manager Search Devolves Into Madness!!
Renteria and Coop feel the Wrath of Hahn, chaos ensues | Tony La Russa? Are you fucking kidding me?? | More manager candidates emerge with varying degrees of plausibility | Postseason Talk: Can we just get to a Rays/Braves World Series already? | Strip Club Knife Fight: hair metal band name or a night out with Tommy Pham? | Billy Beane applies Moneyball to European lawn sport
October 16, 2020
44 | Huge Decisions Facing Cubs/Sox/Tigers this Offseason
Cubs predictably flame out again — maybe a bit TOO predictably? | Top 5 questions for the White Sox offseason | A look at the Tigers managerial options | A strange postseason continues without us | Asshole of the Week: David Kaplan
October 9, 2020
43 | Renteria Exposed as Sox Exit Postseason
A panicking Renteria blew any chance the Sox had | Cubs are still suffering from premature cancellation issues | MLB postseason rife with anomalies and injuries | Crosstown Series Recap: Now who owns Chicago? | Asshole of the Week: Jimmy "Tough Guy" Cordero | More funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up
October 2, 2020
42 | Chicago: From the Capital of Baseball to the Shitshow of Baseball
Our thoughts entering a Crosstown Series that feels much stranger than expected | Renteria is now clearly costing the Sox wins | Cubs offensive production is offensive (and chronic) | A sad, but fond farewell to Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire | Giants playoff hopes in the balance | We name our All-A*Holes Team from the best players from our 4 clubs | Ozzie Guillen should be managing in MLB | Shit We Couldn't Make Up: 2020 has been full of statical anomalies and bizarre fan behavior | Asshole of the Week: Angel Hernandez (again)
September 25, 2020
41 | Chicago is the Goddamn Capital of Baseball
White Sox are FINALLY back in the fucking playoffs! | Heyward's homer turns Cubs' season around | Mills delivers MLB's second no-hitter | Wildfires fuck with Giants schedule | Asshole of the Week: journalist Bob Nightengale is terrible at journalism | Tigers' Candelario wins AL Player of the Week | Drone delay at Wrigley just more Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Booze banned for postseason celebrations | ASSthetics: worst-to-best Sox uniform rankings
September 18, 2020
40 | White Sox Cruising While Cubs Straddle Mendoza Line
Dallas Keuchel's mysterious back injury looks like the only speed bump on their way to the playoffs | Congrats to Trevor Bauer for shoving it up Cubs' asses in a meaningless game | The Javy Baez Excuse Machine keeps churning out bullshit | Giants bats power playoff run | Tigers lose 19-0 but are still in the playoff hunt and more Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: "COVID" Joe West rears his fat, ugly head again
September 11, 2020
39 | Post-Trade Deadline: Now Shit's Getting Serious
Honoring former White Sox and Hall of Fame legend, Tom Seaver | Cubs outfielders make history | SOXual Harassment: Rick Renteria's gut is giving PV indigestion | You’re lying if you had the Tigers at .500 past the halfway point | Giants suffering from pitching/offense role reversals | ASSthetics: Padres are on FIRE and so are their neo-retro uniforms | Aroldis Chapman's asshole legacy continues
September 4, 2020
38 | White Sox Seize Chicago By The Balls
Lucas Giolito Throws a NO-NO! | Rivalry Weeks Recap | Player of the Week: Jose Abreu | TRADE DEADLINE: Strategies & Targets | Cubs Rub: Javy Baez Struggles Due to Lack of Crowds | More Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: Bruce Levine
August 28, 2020
37 | RIVALRY WEEKS: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This!
Cubs/Cards, Tigers/Sox, Sox/Cubs, Cub/Tigers... OH MY!! | Mark Grace is the "dingbat" | Fernando Tatis Jr. should be on the South Side | More Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Thom Brennaman wins Asshole of the Week in a landslide
August 21, 2020
36 | Cubs are Kings of a Terrible Division
Yu is not fucking around anymore | Rizzo adds some serious bling to his game | White Sox are righting the ship despite Rick Renteria's best efforts to fuck it all up | How to solve the growing Cardinals issue | ASSthetics of Baseball: Nike logo is ruining Tigers jersey | Why the fuck are the Astros picking fights?? | Asshole(s) of the Week: Zach Plesac & Mike Clevinger
August 14, 2020
35 | Way Too Early Red Line World Series Trash Talk
Cubs win our premature breakdown of the 2020 Cubs/Sox World Series | White Sox have made Chicago the "City of Bad Shoulders" | Public masturbation, brO-HIO hatred from Ozzie, terrible excuses from Jeter, and more of the funniest Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: Cards president, John Mozeliak
August 7, 2020
34 | A Predictably Fucked Up Week 1
BREAKING outbreak news is getting a little too close to home | Cubs offense and starters looking solid, but the bullpen is a fucking disaster | White Sox offense is potent despite questionable lineup construction | Tigers are leading baseball in homers... and strikeouts | Giants/YAZ using aerodynamics to their advantage? | #FreeJoeKelly | Asshole of the Week: Miami Marlins
July 31, 2020
33 | Happy Opening Fucking Day!
BREAKING Marquee Network News: Comcast deal is DONE and it's about fucking time | White Sox kicked the shit out of the Cubs this week, for what it's worth (not much) | What the Mookie Betts blockbuster deal means for the Cubs trying to resign Bryant/Baez | SOXual Harassment: No More Mazara? | TIGER SHIT: The Jordan Zimmerman Disaster and service time manipulation | Expanded playoffs made too much sense to pass up | Toronto can't play in Toronto and other Shit We Couldn't Make Up | The #CardboardPeteNeedsaSeat at Sox Park saga continues... | Asshole of the Week: The Cleveland Baseball Team
July 24, 2020
32 | 2020 Season Preview? (if we're lucky)
Hendricks named Cubs Opening Day starter | Rizzo's bad back is no reason to panic | Fallout from Kopech opting out | Our 2020 Season Preview? with playoff, MVP, and Cy Young predictions | Asshole of the Week: Jerry Reinsdorf
July 17, 2020
31 | MLB's Not-So-Happy Summer Campers
2020 Schedule 2.0: Our in-depth breakdown of the Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants 60-game schedules | Field of Dreams game during a pandemic could easily become a nightmare | MLB’s COVID-19 testing program got off to a rocky start | SOXual Harassment: transparency vs. privacy with testing results puts Yoan Moncada, Michael Kopech, and Rick Hahn in an awkward spot | CUBS RUB: Somebody needs to buy Jose Quintana a goddamn dishwasher! | Don’t be fooled, Cleveland is changing their name only because “Indians” is finally now costing them more money than it’s earning | #CardboardPeteNeedsASeat at Sox Park for charity! | Asshole of the Week: “COVID” Joe West
July 10, 2020
30 | Welcome to Summer Camp 2020!
Players have reported and we analyze the Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants 60-man roster strategies | To play, or not to play? That is the question | What will a 2020 World Series title* really mean? | Help us get "Cardboard Pete" a seat for Giants home games! | More funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Asshole of the Week: MLB attempts to murder Minor League Baseball
July 2, 2020
29 | There Will Be Baseball
PLAY FUCKING BALL! Baseball is BACK (maybe) so what will the truncated season look like? | Fans in the stands would be a welcome sight, but the logistics would be fraught with issue | Are we finally getting a Marquee Network deal with Comcast? | CUBS RUB: Instead of a hype video, an apology and a thank you to the fans for putting up with this shit would've been more appropriate | More funny shit we couldn't make up across MLB | GIGANTISM: Oracle Park gets some real bullpens while fans get personalized cardboard cutouts | Asshole of the Week: MLB & MLBPA
June 26, 2020
28 | SPECIAL REPORT: Threat Level Manfred
The latest on MLB's "proposal" to return to play | Is MLB trying to cover up a Yankees' cheating scandal? | A mixed "Long Gone Summer" review | Did Albert Belle have a better 1998 than Sosa? | Asshole of the Week emeritus Rob Manfred, of course
June 18, 2020
27 | The Official A-Holes' 2020 MLB Draft Recap
2020 MLB Draft recap | $hit $how: Millionaires vs Billionaires latest developments | NEW SEGMENT: Shit We Couldn't Make Up | 30 for 30 "Long Gone Summer" preview | PV's Wrigley Rickshaw Story | Plus, a very special Asshole of the Week
June 12, 2020
26 | A Simple $hit $how Solution
Millionaires & Billionaires can solve their $hit $how with an 82-game season and some deferred payments | CUBS RUB: Tom Ricketts needs to stop talking | ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK: Washington Nationals | 2020 MLB Draft Projections for the Tigers, Sox, Giants, and Cubs | BREAKING Trevor Bauer dating news!!
June 4, 2020
25 | Owners Master the Art of Assholish Negotiation
Millionaires vs. Billionaires saga continues: The Players Strike Back | Can a $hit Show find common ground? | Bauer vs. Boras vs. Ricketts | Asshole of the Week: Angels owner Arte Moreno | Moneyball 2: With A Vengeance: Gutting the Minor Leagues | Hypothetical expansion draft: Cubs/Sox protected players
May 29, 2020
24 | The $hit $how Must Go On...
Millionaires vs Billionaires update | No licking, no spitting, no fighting! | Potential playoff plans | Cubs payroll reductions | Last Dance takeaways: Jerry Reinsdorf is cheap | Asshole of the Week: Alex Rodriguez | Sounds of Silence
May 21, 2020
23 | Battle of Millionaires vs. Billionaires Begins
The war of words between the owner and MLBPA has begun | Fallout from the 2020 MLB draft being cut to just 5 rounds | Blake Snell's timing might be poor, but he isn't wrong | Asshole of the Week: J.B. Pritzker | Cubs Run: Sinclair Broadcast Group are a bunch of scumbags | Marquee Network News | Tigers Shit: 10 years later, Armando Galarraga wants credit for his (im)Perfect Game
May 15, 2020
22 | Could Labor Strife Fuck Up MLB's Potential Return?
MLB's newest contingency proposal goes to the Players Association for approval, but could money derail everything? | The Asshole's Guide to Korean Baseball | Fake Baseball Updates: Baseball Reference sim, MLB The Show 20 Players League | Tigers' draft options: Spencer Torkelson or Austin Martin | Asshole of the Week: Miami Marlins & Tampa Bay Rays
May 7, 2020
21 | It's The End Of The NL/AL As We Know It!
MLB's newest contingency plan to return to home (but empty) stadiums is the best yet by far | Imagining what baseball would've looked like one month into the season | MLB finally buckled under our pressure to finally offer ticket refunds | Another Cubs fan sues after being hit by a foul ball | Could MLB Expansion could be on the horizon? | Asshole of the Week: Pirates owner, Bob Nutting
May 1, 2020
20 | Not a Great Week for Rob Manfred
No Refund update: Lawsuit! | Asshole of the Week: Rob Manfred | The "Three Hub" Idea pros and cons | Cubs choose not to participate in COVID-19 antibody study | Michael Jordan/Sox conspiracy theories | Baseball Reference 2020 season simulation update | Sox Park & Wrigley Field Concessions Draft
April 23, 2020
19 | Cubs vs. Sox in a New Economic Reality
EPISODE 19 - A savior is born: Christ Bryant had a baby! - Big Hurt vs Mike Trout - Cactus League & Grapefruit League "idea" - Effects of a new economic reality on the Cubs & Sox - More sim updates because that's all we've got right now - Asshole of the Week: MLB for not offering ticket refunds
April 17, 2020
18 | Fuck it, Just Build a Goddamn Bio Dome!
- Tribute to “Mr. Tiger” Al Kaline - Could MLB’s metaphorical “bio dome” bring back baseball as soon as May? - Local TV is dropping the ball - Simulated baseball is the only baseball stimulation we’Ve got right now
April 9, 2020
17 | MLB Labor News: Cubs Get Fucked, Tigers Win, Sox in Between
EPISODE 17 • RIP Ed Farmer • Latest MLB schedule contingency plans • New labor agreement winners and losers • MLB The Show 20 game review • Our top baseball movie picks • Asshole of the Week: Evan Gattis
April 3, 2020
16 | The Baseball Fan's Pandemic Survival Guide
- How a 162-game schedule could still possibly work. - Asshole of the Week: Rob Manfred for suggesting MLB cancel the draft to save some cash. - Worst free-agent signings in the history of the Cubs, White Sox, Tigers, and Giants. - Streaming Guide for the Apocalypse
March 25, 2020
15 | PLOT TWIST in the Marquee Network Drama!
- Marquee Network Review: 2016 Run for the Ring - New MLB schedule contingency plans - Worst trades in Cubs, Sox, Tigers, and Giants history - What we're watching instead of baseball - Asshole of the Week: COVID-19
March 20, 2020
14 | Moncada Deal + More Marquee Network Drama
Is the new Yoan Moncada deal really "team friendly"? More bad news for Marquee Network on YouTube TV and Comcast fronts. Tigers fans FINALLY seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Whining isn't going to get Barry Bonds into the Hall. The 3-batter minimum is an opportunity, but few are choosing to see it. Plus, Asshole of the Week: Parlay Patz.
March 10, 2020
13 | Playoffs or Bust, Bitches!
Theo and Joe officially bury the hatchet on national TV, but Bryzzo steals the show. MORE Marquee Network drama with YouTube TV. NEW segments "Cubs Rub" and "SOXual Harassment" tackle issues on both sides of town. Dallas Keuchel's mom gives Sox a perfectly profane slogan for 2020. MLB cracks down on video tech in the dugout and sticky substances for pitchers. PLUS, Asshole of the Week: Jim Crane.
March 4, 2020
12 | STRAP IT ON — Spring Training Begins!
Does Grandpa Rossy need a well-being check? Will the Kris Bryant leadoff experiment work? Sox extend Aaron Bummer and now possibly Yoan Moncada? Say hello to Mason Saunders! Madison Bumgarner goes undercover to join the rodeo. Asshole of the Week: David Ortiz vs. Rob Manfred vs. litigious daily fantasy gamblers.
February 25, 2020
11 | Baseball is a Total Shitshow
The current state of baseball can only be described as a total shitshow. Rob Manfred is apologizing to trophies and blaming the Players Union for granting immunity to Astros players. Players are fuming at Astros players. Carlos Correa and Astros players aren't sorry about anything other than getting caught. Theo Epstein and Joe Maddon are politely feuding in the media. Hell, even Kris Bryant is showing some anger!
February 19, 2020
10 | What the Betts Trade Says About Bryant's Trade Value
- What does the Mookie Betts deal mean for what the Cubs might get in return for Kris Bryant? - Expanded playoffs are fucking awesome for everyone. - Ridiculous Nolan Aranado White Sox trade Twitter rumors - AJ Hinch ALMOST tells the truth - Asshole of the Week: the eternal Pete Rose debate RAGES on...
February 11, 2020
9 | Potential Kris Bryant Trade Destinations
Now that Kris Bryant's service time grievance has been denied, the Cubs can get down to business and there are still plenty of potential trade partners out there. An insider Sox ticket scam costs the team $1M. Salute to Curtis Granderson upon his retirement. DH to the NL? MLB punishes the Astros further with Dusty Baker. Plus, Asshole of the Week!
February 4, 2020
8 | Sox optimism, Cubs angst, ASStros scandal, HOF bullshit
Slightly misguided Cubs fans booed Tom Ricketts and the Marquee Network while White Sox fans are seeing nothing but rainbows and lollipops — it's the Bizarro World! Plus, between dumb Hall of Fame voting controversies and the worst baseball scandal since 1919, this might be the hottest race for Asshole of the Week ever.
January 28, 2020
7 | Sox Sign Grandal and Help the Cubs?
The White Sox signing catcher Yasmani Grandal to a 4-year $73M deal may have far-reaching effects on both the South Side and North Side of Chicago.
November 22, 2019
6 | David Ross Becomes Grandpa Bossy
The David Ross Era begins, for what it's worth. The Kris Bryant grievance is FINALLY being heard this week and the timing couldn't be more interesting. Thoughts on the playoffs and on what is already a fascinating World Series.
October 24, 2019
5 | Is Second Place Good Enough for the White Sox?
Has Jerry Reinsdorf's plan always been for his White Sox to finish in 2nd place every year just to keep the fans interested while maximizing profits? And can we just change the name of the Wild Card Game to the Play-In Game so people can stop whining that it's not a 3-game series?
October 8, 2019
4 | 2019 Asshole of the Year
Our thoughts on the 2019 Cubs, White Sox, Tigers, and Giants. PLUS Asshole of the Year nominations (Addison Russell & Theo Epstein)and playoff predictions.
October 1, 2019
3 | Death of the Joe Maddon Era
SPECIAL EDITION: “The Death of the Joe Maddon Era” — we discuss what happened, who’s to blame, and what’s next? More Kris Bryant trade talk. Kyle Schwarber too? Will Craig Kimbrell or Theo Epstein win Asshole of the Week? Obviously, we have ALL the answers!
September 24, 2019
2 | Rizzo Down. Cubs Out?
Whether you like it or not, WE’RE BACK with Episode 2 of The Show! Cubs have a HUGE weekend but lose Anthony Rizzo. Is Rick Hahn‘s grace period about to end? Joe Maddon to the Sox?? Ozzie Guillen to the Cubs?? And a truly SHOCKING Asshole of the Week nomination!
September 17, 2019
1 | The Case for trading Kris Bryant
We’re LIVE, mofos! Our first episode of Major League A-Holes: The Show is in the can. We covered a lot of ground including thoughts on the sputtering Cubs, the disappointing Giants, the hopeful White Sox, and the dismal Tigers. Should the Cubs trade Kris Bryant? Should the Giants have traded Madison Bumgarner? Did you know Tim Anderson and Jose Abreu could be AL AVG and RBI champs? Is Dave Dombrowski just a dick or is there more to it? Who will be the Asshole of the Week? Tune in to find out!
September 14, 2019