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Making Polyamory Work

Making Polyamory Work

By Libby Sinback

Grounded in reality and untamed honesty, Libby Sinback tackles the hard questions about how to create and maintain authentic, loving and healthy nonmonogamous relationships.
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Intentional vs. Incidental Time

Making Polyamory WorkSep 18, 2020

00:00
24:33
Unmet Needs in Polyamory
Feb 20, 202450:54
Seriously! Compassion
Feb 13, 202415:40
Sacred Unraveling in Polyamory with Joli Hamilton
Feb 06, 202434:30
Individuation and Navigating Differences with Joli Hamilton
Jan 30, 202429:06
Solo Polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer
Jan 23, 202459:28
Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt 2

Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt 2

In this part 2, Libby and Alyssa talk through some of the challenges that can show up in nonmonogamy for people who are neurodiverse

Jan 02, 202435:45
Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt. 1

Polyamory and Neurodivergence with Alyssa Gonzalez Pt. 1

Libby and Alyssa discuss being neurodiverse and how polyamory and being neurodiverse can complement each other beautifully.

Dec 26, 202351:59
Triangulation

Triangulation

Triangles show up in relationships all over the place. In this episode Libby discusses triangulation, what it is, common ways it can show up in polyamory, and whether triangulation can harm or help.

Dec 19, 202329:31
When I Don't Use Boundaries

When I Don't Use Boundaries

Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties.

Dec 12, 202322:14
What is a Boundary Violation? with Juliane Taylor Shore
Dec 05, 202348:57
Your Brain on Boundaries with Juliane Taylor Shore
Nov 28, 202344:28
Codependence

Codependence

The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it often is used to shame and pathologize perfectly normal human needs, and how she likes to talk about codependence differently.

Nov 21, 202323:45
Boundaries Aren't Magic

Boundaries Aren't Magic

A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby explains that boundaries are not a magic way to get people to do what you want them to do.

Nov 14, 202322:08
Dating as a Couple

Dating as a Couple

Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. Yet, year after year, established couples seek to find a shared partner, and many folks also seek relationships with established couples. Is there something to this? In this episode, Libby offers some thoughts on why you might want to date as a couple (or date a couple) and some helpful ideas on how to do this well.
Nov 07, 202342:16
Polyamory After an Affair

Polyamory After an Affair

Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems like a solution. In this episode, Libby outlines why it's rarely that simple.

Oct 31, 202343:16
The Heart Wants What it Wants

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Libby offers an uncomfortable but necessary reality check: love alone doesn't conquer all.

Apr 25, 202326:07
Uhauling

Uhauling

Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship energy (NRE) phase might not be the best idea, and what to do instead.

Apr 18, 202331:16
What’s Your Story?
Apr 11, 202335:11
Revoke Your Moral License
Mar 28, 202320:42
Don't Ask, Don't Tell with Jessica Fern (Part 2)
Mar 21, 202325:34
Privacy, Secrecy, and Transparency with Jessica Fern (Part 1)

Privacy, Secrecy, and Transparency with Jessica Fern (Part 1)

Polysecure author, Jessica Fern joins Libby to talk about a much-asked for topic, Privacy, Secrecy and Transparency. Together they share their own experiences, what they've learned, and how they advise people to handle sharing information. It can be tricky, but there are ways to make it easier!

Polysecure books: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-complete-polysecure-bundle-jessica-fern/19677933 

Southwest Lovefest (use code 'go slow' for 10% off): https://www.swlovefest.com/events/southwest-love-fest-2023

Mar 14, 202330:58
The Ladder of Accountability
Mar 07, 202321:05
What if We Don't Have Sex? With Chaneè Jackson Kendall
Feb 28, 202345:08
Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 2

Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 2

In part 2 of Libby's conversation with Akilah Riley-Richardson, Akilah shares her PRIDE model for supporting couples who are working to create safety and resilience in their relationships.

Akilah's website: https://akilahrileyrichardson.com/ 

Relational Privilege and Sytemic Trauma Course: https://therapywisdom.com/relational-privilege-and-systemic-trauma/

Resmaa Menekem: My Grandmother's Hands: https://bookshop.org/p/books/my-grandmother-s-hands-racialized-trauma-and-the-pathway-to-mending-our-hearts-and-bodies-resmaa-menakem/6454227 

Eduardo Duran: Healing the Soul Wound: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1200619

Southwest Love Fest (use code "goslow" for 10% off!): https://www.swlovefest.com/

Feb 21, 202333:12
Relational Privilege with Akilah Riley-Richardson Part 1
Feb 14, 202341:58
Values and Belonging, Part 2
Feb 09, 202338:42
Values and Belonging, Part 1

Values and Belonging, Part 1

Libby introduces a new season of Making Polyamory Work with a very personal reflection on belonging, fitting in, values and integrity.

Feb 07, 202336:14
Coming Out To Your Kids

Coming Out To Your Kids

Libby and Catherine of Expansive Connection answer a listener question about coming out to older kids.

https://www.expansiveconnection.com/

https://www.expansiveconnection.com/enm

https://www.instagram.com/expansive.connection.coaching/

Dec 06, 202201:13:57
[Replay] The Holiday Minefield

[Replay] The Holiday Minefield

Libby reviews some of the biggest challenges that can show up around the holiday season when you're non-monogamous and how to navigate them without exploding an already stressful season.

Nov 22, 202234:13
There's Nothing to Fear

There's Nothing to Fear

LIbby talks about how important it is to talk about fears with our partners. How we respond when our partner shares a fear with us can make a tremendous difference in how we tend to them and ourselves.

Nov 17, 202213:57
New Information Shock

New Information Shock

Libby describes the phenomenon known as New Information Shock and how to handle it when you encounter it in your relationships.

Nov 15, 202219:26
The Most Important Step of Repair
Oct 18, 202224:24
Breadcrumbing and Signposting

Breadcrumbing and Signposting

One tool that might help you with rocking-the-boat type conversations.

Oct 11, 202220:01
Agreements Are Great
Oct 04, 202236:03
Where Is This Going?
Sep 27, 202244:19
How Do I Know if I'm Polyamorous?
Sep 20, 202246:40
Food

Food

Libby names the 10th relationship of a modern marriage: Food.

Sep 15, 202215:49
Leave Room in a Crisis
Sep 13, 202241:58
9 Relationships of a Modern Marriage
Apr 19, 202231:55
Know Your Power
Apr 12, 202227:23
On Drop

On Drop

Do you know what drop is? In this episode, Libby explains drop, what it is, why it's rough, and what you can do to make it a little easier to deal with.

Apr 05, 202215:03
Veto Happens

Veto Happens

The relationship veto is a controversial topic in polyamory circles. Libby talks about what vetoes are, how they can happen without being called a veto, and how they aren't always a bad thing.

Mar 29, 202231:35
Yes Intent Does Matter

Yes Intent Does Matter

"Intent doesn't matter." That statement has cropped up in multiple conversations online and in person over the years. In this epsiode, Libby shares why that simply isn't true, at least not when it comes to a valued relationship.

Mar 22, 202228:46
For Your Mom

For Your Mom

In this episode, Libby speaks to parents of adult polyamorous children who may be having a hard time with the idea.


SHOW LINKS: 

It's Called Polyamory: https://thorntreepress.com/its-called-polyamory/

When Someone You Love is Polyamorous: https://thorntreepress.com/when-someone-you-love-is-polyamorous/

The Coffee Break Primer on Polyamory: https://adapowers.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de

This Heart Holds Many, My Life as the Nonbinary Millennial Child of a Polyamorous Family: https://thorntreepress.com/thisheartholdsmany/

The Polyamorists Next Door on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door


Mar 15, 202229:57
Are you Checking Out or Checking In?
Mar 08, 202221:60
Doing It in a Group

Doing It in a Group

In this epsiode, Libby gives you her best tips for having awesome sexytimes with groups of 3 or more.

CN: NSFW. Mature content, including explicit mentions of sexual behaviors in this episode. So um, you may want your headphones in.

Mar 01, 202244:07
The Still Face

The Still Face

Libby talks about the effect withdrawal patterns can have on our nervous systems, and how to navigate that if it is showing up in your relationship.

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Find Libby on the web: https://libbysinback.com

Feb 22, 202233:15
Asking Needs To Be Okay

Asking Needs To Be Okay

"How could she ask for that?" is a phrase I have heard before. It's a phrase I've even said. But I firmly believe, it's okay to ask for whatever you want. The problem lies in whether or not your partner feels like they can say no. 

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Find Libby on the web: https://libbysinback.com

Feb 15, 202221:57
This May Be a Bitter Pill

This May Be a Bitter Pill

Sometimes in our relationships we reach a point where something needs to change or it just won't work for us. But is that even possible? Or do you have to break up? Libby goes over two losing strategies that a lot of people try when they want something different from their partner than what they're getting, and offers what she believes is a better way to get what you want.

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Find Libby on the web: https://libbysinback.com


Feb 08, 202253:42
When is it Okay to Have a One P*nis Policy?

When is it Okay to Have a One P*nis Policy?

By listener request, Libby talks about the one p*nis policy and why it's not a great idea (and the one time it's okay.) 

CN: language. Libby uses several words for the male genitalia on this episode.

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RECOMMENDED READING For the Love of Men by Liz Plank 

The Will to Change by bell hooks 

I Don't Wanna Talk About It by Terrence Real 

Playing Fair by Pepper Mint

Find Libby on the web: https://libbysinback.com

Jan 25, 202233:06