Mama Kim, life coach

How do you make a decision between A and B when both are good options and your pros and cons list turns out pretty much even Steven. We call these champagne problems and while I love champagne these are still problems.

In the history of humankind no child was born a racist. Children are born vulnerable, open, loving and in search of love. They welcome differences with curiosity. We have much to learn from children.

You know it is very very possible for more than one point of view to be right at any given time but sometimes we look through scarcity mindset and feel that to be right we must make others wrong. Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side of that. It does not feel good, am i right? Abundance mindset says to try the Yes And approach - I hear your point of view and I say yes and here is what also could be true.

you can not hear me by telling me you are listening. You hear me by listening. And by asking me if i feel heard and if not, what i need to feel heard, and then you listen to my response

What is normal anyway? I tell you what it is. It is a baseline comparison to a standard that does not exist. Or, in other words, it is the bull shit that keeps you playing small. So I say, screw that. When we stop comparing ourselves to an external standard we are able to see our own authentic crazy town mint chocolate gooey crunchy inside that makes life interesting and greatness very very possible.

We right the wrongs of violence, anger and hate through love. That is the heart of the matter. And yes, I know that protests sometimes turned violent - that is something else. I don’t know what it is and I know that it also brings pain to my heart. But what I want to remind us is to remember to love one another boldly. Courageously. And hold each other safely. I love you. And theres nothing you can do about it.

Some are inspired by coexist stickers or Jesus saves or politics... doesn’t matter. If it presses you to think or feel then it is an inspiration! What bumper stickers have inspired you?

Music is a powerful source of inspiration. Get inspired, Gangnam style.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has a story worth hearing. How would you use tour time at the podium?

Inspirations from David Sedaris - Small Talk is a choice. You decide when, if and how you engage with others. Choose wisely

Recently i discovered the magical stylings of Justin Willman from magic for humans. Willman packages entertaining storytelling with illusions and lessons about what it means to be human. He addresses belief systems, emotionality, human connections. What did this inspire for me?

One of my favorite podcasts is called pop culture happy hour and every week they go around and talk about what makes them happy each week. It’s my favorite part of the show in fact. I love hearing other people’s joy and whatever is inspiring their joy. And that inspires my joy even if it doesn’t always inspire me to go and find whatever book or meme or tv show they’re talking about. (But a lot of times it does too so there). So - I’m thinking this week I want to dedicate to things that give me inspiration and Of course I’m starting with pop culture happy hour because I love smart and funny people who take all the guess work out of finding something to watch on television. What inspires you? You think about it ok? See you. Bye.

Personal growth can feel overwhelming, but it’s a journey of discovery and along the way we find a new fear or habit or awareness and we get to decide what to do with that. Maybe we take that on for a while. Maybe we don’t. That’s ok too. This path has many sites to see. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle.

Fear of missing out. What happens when you think others are living your best life?

Many bad decisions or indecisions can be traced to fear of loss. To address it there are two important truths to recognize. First, loss is inevitable. And second, not all loss is.

Fear of setbacks is a little bit like fear of failure but the cost is different. The problem here is the negative focus. If our attention is on the set back we are actually stealing attention from the aspiration and that is working the goal and that means focusing on the plan and celebrating progress. It may also mean setting interim goals or milestones along the way.

Marianne Williamson says that our greatest fear is not failure. She says... “it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us” it’s like sometimes we really fear success or not so much success as what it means. What’s the story of success? What comes after it?

Many people have a tremendous fear of failure. The cost of this fear is often not taking risks and playing small or playing safe. This limits the possibility for growth tremendously though too. So one way to address fear of failing is to just fail. You know. Just a little bit at first. See how it feels. Choose some things that it’s reasonably safe to fail at - like karaoke. Everybody fails at karaoke.

A lot of life goes unlived due to fear. Begin to confront fears a little bit every day. Become comfortable being uncomfortable.

The predisposition for surprise involves letting go of expectations and choosing openness to possibilities.

Whether you write in a diary or a Dear Mama Kim, meditate, pray, or just sit down and talk about your day with someone you care about... this can be a powerful practice for letting go, reflecting , and resetting. What practices would you implement for this?

Resiliency isn’t what allows you to recover from a plot twist by getting it back to your comfort zone. Resiliency is how you get back to your comfort zone so that you can weather the twists and turns.

To accept the new story we have to grieve the old story.

Your super power is in your strengths - that which you do masterfully well. Get your cape and tights and find yourself a sidekick. It’s gonna be legendary.

Are they weaknesses or opportunities? Sometimes - just weakness. Know whar they and embrace friends who have those as strengths. Problem solved!

If you have nothing to give then maybe you’re impacted more than you thoughtful as

Have you been feeling ready for a break but holding back because of you think you “shouldn’t” need one? Quit judging what you need and listen.

When do you feel most loved? Now Think about someone you care about. What do you think their love language is? How do you figure it out? Hah this is a trick question. The best way to figure it out is to ask. Even if they have never considered it before, asking gives them the gift of discovery and knowledge.

There’s no one love language that is better than another. Better to understand what yours is and accept it. Know your partners and learn to speak each other’s.

Failures fail but learners learn. By embracing your identity as a learner grants you with both the competency and willingness to learn.

You know who is a good example of learning? Toddlers.

“I know mom! Gaaaaa”. That’s a verbal tell that the enemy of learning called teenager, is showing. What are yours?

Sometimes we rush to get to AN answer but are unintentionally risking getting to the right answer. Sometimes we get j to analysis paralysis and NEVER know enough. Rushing and stalling are both enemies of learning.

Addiction to being eight and fear of being wrong are just some examples of enemies of learning. This week we will explore a few more.

Ok maybe it’s not ALWAYS bullshit. Sometimes compartmentalizing is good.

Is Freedom your core value too? Hmm. I wonder if we interpret freedom the same. See I believe freedom is about choices, but is not absent consequence. What do you think?

Suffering has a lot to do with how we experience a situation and that includes our assessments, beliefs and judgments. Here’s a for example. Let’s say you take on a new challenge... new job, motherhood, moving out, self isolation... when we start something new we are beginners. However we sometimes have expectations of excellence that is disproportionate to our experience as a learner. Suffering is what happens in the space between expectations and experience.

Spoiler alert. It’s bullshit.

You can either be virtuously ambitious OR you can be satisfied and proud but you cannot be both. This is a nefarious flavor of not enough ness. I asked if she knew any examples of someone who is both ambitious and present. If you can think of just ONE example of someone who defies your belief then you know it’s not a universal truth. So if it’s possible for them, perhaps it is possible for you. Challenge your beliefs by identifying the contradiction. Then you have possibility

Promises promises. We all make them. And yes, we all sometimes break them. When we fail to deliver on a promise, trust erodes. Intent does matter. And so does learning from mistakes which means not continuing to make promises you can’t deliver on - they become empty. But even when intent is good and we try our best, mistakes happen. Repairing relationships here depends on apology, forgiveness, All of the investments made in trust - in vulnerability and Intimacy - this is where they pay in dividends.

Why do people make promises they don’t keep? Because it feels so good to say yes. But failing to deliver can be so much worse. Is it worth it?

Don’t passive aggressively hide requests in feedback. Make your requests clear with 1-preconditions of vulnerability and trust, 2- honest checkin on receptivity 3- authenticity and boldness and 4- clear conditions of satisfaction.

So you can dish it out but can you take it? Remember i said feedback is a gift... but just because someone buys you a sweater doesn’t mean you have to wear it all day every day. Sometimes you say thank you, take a look and decide ... this isn’t really me. And that’s true with feedback too. It’s one person’s opinion so don’t take it in too deep right away. But don’t dismiss it right away either. If you get a gift that might not suit you immediately - what might the intention have been that yields a lesson? Remember that feedback is for your growth and the growth of your relationship. How can you find the opportunity and appreciate just that.

Feedback is so important to communication. It is a beautiful gift that can grow relationship powerfully. Package with care and compassion and deliver with love

What is a hero? A hero faces fear and adversity with courage and nobility. A hero sees the opportunity to serve people in need with care and compassion. Heroes choose to serve.

Trying to change others is a fool’s errand. Understand and accept them. Change within.

What does this this teach you about what you would’ve wanted?

So - are you putting in enough time to to celebrate imterim milestones?

Some clouds don’t have a silver lining. So what. Find a different cloud.