I have felt the pull to start a podcast for a minute now. There seems to be this deep desire to share my journey, my hopes, my fears, my ups, my downs, my love, my light, and my "darkness" (which I believe there is beauty in).
This podcast and all of my work is about coming to terms with who I am and stepping confidently into my own skin. Knowing that I am Enough, just as I am, and hopefully, a similar recognition for any and all who happen's to listen🌟
This week we began to write our story, focusing in on
The Power of Intention
The Power of Commitment
The Power of Acceptance
The Power of Creativity
The Power of the Pause
The Power of Gratitude
And of course, some Rest & Reflection.
It's been such a powerful practice coming into the new year. In 2021, with ALL of the craziness of the world around us, how do we come to realize and know that we are that Super Hero we have been longing and waiting for?
Absolutely free to join as we strongly believe that this is what the world needs more than ever...
It's time that you realize that you are enough... just as you are.
So come and join us as we write the story of the future that we have all been dreaming of... together.
Link to join is here: https://www.weare-justus.com/posts/writing-our-story-invitation-to-journey-with-us
The program I am going to focus on today is the Inner MBA, a program put on by Sounds True, LinkedIn, Wisdom 2.0, Mindful NYU, and a few additional organizations. The Inner MBA is "a nine-month immersion program to train leaders, entrepreneurs, managers, and employees on how to powerfully grow themselves and their companies" (Inner MBA website)
We had our all-day orientation yesterday and I was amazed at what the team was able to accomplish. We had close to 1,000 of us gathered from over 50 different countries to collectively launch this program. Tami Simon (Founder and CEO of Sounds True) and Soren Gordhamer (Founder of Wisdom 2.0) kicked us off for a day filled with interviews, visualizations, and interactions. One of my biggest hesitations/concerns with this program was "how am I going to feel truly seen and heard in a group of thousands?" Well, the Inner MBA team proved to me yesterday that I could. Throughout the day we broke off into 1x1 groups to discuss what was moving through us, and we had the opportunity to connect in community. I loved this almost as much as I loved all of the knowledge that was shared through Tami, Soren, Richard Stozzi-Heckler, Lisa Lahey, and Rose Macario.
During our opening exercise, Tami asked us three different questions and invited us to reflect on them. She asked us to "begin with the end in mind." So, if we are forward-thinking and envisioning ourselves nine months from now as graduates of this inaugural program, we were asked to ponder and answer three different questions
What is the personal transformation that I/We want to experience?
How do I/We want our work relationships to change?
How will our world of work/organizations change and why does it matter?
I recorded a video talking through how this is currently showing up for me but I also wanted to record it below. As you will come to see (or maybe you have witnessed this within me already), I am the type of person that LOVES to document my journey. I love being able to reflect back on where I was as well as who I become, and this process enables that depth of expansion for me.
My final reflections on the live journey of hosting this course for the first time with Intention Inspired.
Week Three Reflections live here:
Week Two Reflections live here: https://www.justmariakv.com/post/30-days-of-authenticity-week-two-the-embrace-of-what-is
Week One Reflections live here: https://www.justmariakv.com/post/working-with-my-fear-and-longing-to-be-seen
It's been a pretty epic journey, you can find out more about 30 Days of Authenticity here: https://intentioninspired.com/join-authenticity/
30 Days of Authenticity. Day 21. I am Reflective
Lots surfacing for me today. I wrote a blog and recorded a video about it all here:
But the bottom line is that through my work this week, my allowance of what is, my being willing to show up exactly as I am (which this week was heartbroken) showed me that I can be loved and accepted for who I am, just as I am.
Something I never fully realized before the activities of the past week.
Although this week has honestly been one of the hardest moments of my entire life, I can honestly say that I am beginning to appreciate why I have been and continue to be experiencing this heartbreak and grief, because it is has allowed me to land into this purpose statement as we move into week four:
🌟I love, embrace, and accept myself just as I am. I am willing to be seen🌟
You can join 30 Days of Authenticity here: https://intentioninspired.com/join-authenticity/
Or Follow Me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/mariakv86/
Reflecting again on what I have witnessed within myself this past week has left me with the following
Day 1: I am Conscious: I was surprised to witness that my fear of being seen really surfaced here, that and my fear of the unknown. The tools I equated navigating those fears is curiosity and trust with the unknown, and being brave and willing to show up and speak my truth with the fear of being seen
Day 2: I am Loved: it was beautiful to be able witness my own ability to receive love deepen here and also get clear on how I am truly learning to love ALL parts of myself which includes the part of me that is insecure or sad/mad/angry/wounded
Day 3: I am Powerful: The reminder of the power of being awake, aware and at choice as well as remembering how easily I can shift my focus/gaze/perspective surfaced here from just the simple act of looking up.
Day 4: I am Compassionate: I actually really loved how this day played out because it reminded me that I am human. It grounded me back into what is. I was actually pretty upset this week but I was trying to pretend that I wasn't, and on Day 4 I really allowed myself to be with what is and my world shifted as I just loved and held myself as I was.
Day 5: I am Open: The I am statement I ended up with was: I am willing to be with what is
Day 6: I am Forgiving: I realized that Bianca AGAIN stems from my desire to be "seen" - which also ties into the largest fear rising in me in terms of the course itself. I long for it and I'm terrified of it all at the exact same time, two sides of the same coin... yet again ANOTHER theme for me within this course.. 3.0
So if I'm going to adjust to a purpose statement/intention for the rest of 30 days of Authenticity. Something that challenges me a bit, it's: "I am willing to be with what is and allow myself to be seen." AHH. deep breathes Maria, deep breathes.
I think it's important that we are all compassionate with ourselves right now.
One of the key things I got from Amy Leo in 30 days of Love (and there were a lot of beautiful and profound moments within that particular journey), was that we are only ever able to operate from our current level of consciousness/awareness.
As I'm diving in to do the work, I'm realizing that there are all kinds of things both within myself and within society the world around me that I have put up with. But I think it's so important here to not beat myself up for that. I wasn't at the level of consciousness yet that these truths would have really landed. I wasn't back then who I am now.
The podcast is about two things
1. Being compassionate with yourself as we all start to do the work to uncover our unconscious biases and the veils are lifted within how our society is currently running and what needs to change
2. Using that new level of awareness for good. Now that we are uncovering and surfacing our unconscious biases, how can we affect change? How can we as Michael Beckwith asked us a few days ago "Be the best versions of ourselves that we are capable of being?"
Also, how are you guys doing?
Sending love and light out there.
That's a quote I love from Teal Swan and a pretty good defining statement for my life in its current moment.
Remember when we thought life was challenging in 2019?
To say that these last few weeks have been a bit intense is a bit of an understatement.
I wanted to take a second to step back, slow down, and share what this journey has looked like for me.
Step One: Realizing our Interconnection and saying Enough is EnoughIt started with working through Day 26 of the 30 Days of Love series through Intention Inspired. On Day 26 was the Intention of "I am Connected" - which focused on the idea that I (we) are all interconnected. It was on that particular day that George Floyd's death came into awareness and my heart broke for the black community. That thought and intention fueled this post.
It started with me saying "enough is enough" and having a heartfelt desire to want to help, but not knowing how
Step Two: Asking What is Mine to Do Next.
The next phase (which is currently going on in all honesty and actually will probably be going on for the rest of my life) was me realizing that it isn't up to anyone other than me to be the change I want to see in the world. So how I'm currently feeling called to do that? Well, I'm feeling pulled to show up, I'm being pulled to share what's on my heart (even if I'm fearful or scared of saying or doing the "wrong" thing or inadvertently or unintentionally offending or hurting someone. I'm also feeling pulled to educate myself, every day I'm reading articles and watching videos and tuning into podcasts. I've also joined two different study groups on the book "How to be an Anti-Racist." BUT I'm also realizing that my own experience, is my own experience and what you are feeling called and compelled to do may be completely different than my own. It's been about tuning into our hearts and learning to follow our own guidance and our own intuition. It goes back to my first sentence here, no one else can tell you what's yours to do next, and I recognize that all of our paths are different and perfect for us.
Step Three: Learning to Love "The Other" - that's what this whole blog post is about actually.
It's what I talk about in the video (linked above). It's learning to see myself within you and see you within me. It's also about being compassionate with myself as well for not having the level of awareness that I do now, so that way I can learn to truly, see and know something that I originally considered "outside" of myself AS myself.
Lots more to unpack here, but what I am feeling pulled to is learning to move "from me to we"
I love you all, I would love to hear how each one of you are doing? Let me know. ❤️
I have actually felt a bit overwhelmed yesterday and today, I have been struggling with focus. This entry.is going to be a bit harder for me to put into words but I am going to try.
I've recently tuned into a man named John Wineland and he talks about how we have two energies within us - masculine and feminine. I knew that before (that I'm made up of both) but I didn't really understand what that meant, or the difference between the two. The masculine energy is related to consciousness/action/form/structure, the feminine is related to flow/pleasure/passion/receptivity. And ideally we are living with both in balance and harmony. My whole life I've pretty much been in my masculine and am now slowly learning to embrace my feminity. But that means I've been so caught up in being in the flow that I've gotten out of balance, with my masculine energies crying out because they're longing for integrity and structure, not just a constant feeling into what feels right in the given moment.
I was on a call this morning where a woman asked a question that spoke to exactly where I was at. She was talking about how she feels a bit like she is lacking in focus and yet longing for it at the same time. John suggested that in the morning she spend time tuning into 3-4 things she might need to do that day in order to go to sleep that night without any thought. Then, she needs to block out time to focus on those particular things. She also mentioned her inner rebel will probably come out and yell about the structure, and he suggested she should allow for its expression (as in he stomped around and screamed a bit impersonating his own) but then move on and get to work.
This resonated for me because I currently feel like I'm weaving through two things.
1. The need to be in flow
2. The desire to get sh*t done
And they currently feel like they are battling it out.
So what am I planning on doing? Incorporating the practice of meditation and stillness to get more clear on the three or four things that would keep me up at night that I need to actually tackle during the day, and blocking on the time to do them.
I also set a 5-minute timer and sat in stillness before writing this post, and it was interesting to me because I'm also realizing that I need to let go of the "multi-tasker" that lives within me. As it's NOT productive, it's distractive.
So stillness for me is showing up as clarity, and ease and calm. My mind seems to be running a million miles an hour and telling me all kinds of things that I should be doing and that I should be doing them right now, my body seems to be telling me to rest, relax and feel into the next moment, and I need a healthy balance between the two. I'm planning on using time in the morning to be still and focus on priorities, blocking out time in the day to focus in on those said priorities (without multi-tasking and distractions), and also having PATIENCE AND COMPASSION with myself if I fail.
This is an interesting thing to emerge from my practice of stillness today, but it is what it is. I'm currently feeling a bit out of whack, and my body/mind is asking for unity, form, and structure.
This particular podcast is about really trying to get to a state of acceptance (haven't fully got there yet, but I'm getting closer), where I'm appreciating what is, acknowledging what I want, and opening up the space for me to be able to receive it.
Phew! Lots of internal work going on here, but it's like I'm laying the foundations for the rest of my life, so despite the discomfort, I'm grateful.
Today, I have changed the story that I have been telling myself to realize that I am enough, JUST as I am. I have been saying this for a few years, it's my mission on my website, but I didn't really understand what it full meant, and now I do.
With 30 Days of Love with Amy Leo and Intention Inspired we have been weaving our way through the intentions of I am Enough and I am Unbroken.
I've been so grateful for this because as these deeper truths sink in I am able to not only re-create my own story, but also re-create the world I am birthing through Crown Jewels: Book One, and it feels immensely good.
I've realized that there waves of grief.
Yesterday, I was feeling so good!
I had done a burning ritual and released stuff with the full moon, but today? Today I woke up sad. I woke up sad and feeling really lonely.
I was sad and a bit upset with myself. "Why am I not fully healed yet? Why isn't this heartache gone? I thought I had released it all!!"
But I'm learning to not judge myself for these feelings that I am allowing to surface, to hold myself. To love myself. To know that they are temporary and will pass.
But it's a cycle, and what I connected to today strongly, is that I need to really know that I am enough, even when I'm caught up in the waves of grief, that I am enough. Just as I am.
Today I felt compelled to explore the idea of unconditionally loving myself. I realized that that is why 30 days of Love is surfacing so much for me. It's about truly understanding what that really means.
Update on the podcast with my current moment in time. I've realized I'm going to use my podcast to record my thoughts throughout the journey, and my blog/youtube once I feel like I've reached the A-HA moment (this might shift though, but its how I'm feeling right now)
I've come to the realization that my most recent heartbreak and the deep dive that I'm doing in 30 Days of love has nothing to do with anyone else but me. It's about me learning how to truly love myself.
If you would like to join the journey you can find out more about it here:
I loved the reflection today on the role of the ego. I have been turned off by many spiritual teachers and programs with the idea that the ego is something that is "bad" and needs to be "mastered" or even "killed."
For me, personally, I find ease and peace with the idea learning to love my ego, to appreciate it's desire to want to protect and also it's desire to be seen and heard. Learning to come into a healthy relationship and balance with my ego has been key and it's something that I work on and work through pretty much daily.
Two things have surfaced for me today as I have been exploring the idea of humility.
1. The idea of having a healthy relationship and really loving and appreciating my ego/mind.
2. Teal Swan's words are coming to mind here and are what I experienced when completing the deeper dive as well as reading Amy's thoughts - that "to love someone is to take them on as yourself." Meaning to see yourself within them, to relate to and connect into them and see them within you. It's a little trickier when triggered, but magical when that switch can happen.
Also, my words have absolutely been failing me these days, because so much of what I have been feeling is well "feeling" (that's the closest way I can think to describe it), so I'm hoping I'm articulating this well.
Oh - and a deep love and appreciation for Amy Leo, that's super present for me right now as well.
You can sign up for 30 Days of Love here: https://intentioninspired.com/join-love/
You can sign up to subscribe to my blog/website here: https://www.justmariakv.com
There is so much going on in my current moment that it's been hard for me to find words for it, but I am trying.
At the base of it all is an expansion of my level of consciousness that has been caused by awakening and stirring within my heart, but I'm in a bit of awe and wonder at everything that seems to be coming in at this current moment in time.
During this episode, I realized that what is allowing me to make peace with all of the uncertainty that's showing up in my life - is when I'm able to get that moment of trust.
Trusting in myself, but also trusting in the fact that I am not going through this alone.
Felt the pull to start recording my life and the authentic moments within it, so this the second episode of me doing just that.
For more details on me:
My Blog is here: www.justmariakv.com/blog
Website is here: www.justmariakv.com
The email I read was from a woman called Katie Stone at Ubuntu Wellness Y
ou can find out more about her here: https://www.ubuntuwellness.net/
I'm starting to realize that recording this podcast is really going to require a level of bravery, vulnerability and authenticity that I need to have the courage to do.
This is the first episode of me speaking my truth.
Today I felt drawn to focus on the reminder that I am never alone, how moved I've been by connecting to Jeff Foster and his work, and my gratitude for each and every one of you.
You can find out more about Jeff here: https://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/
Happy New Moon and Earth Day!
If you are interested in learning more about Lynne McTaggart's weekly intention experiments you can find out more on her website: https://lynnemctaggart.com/
Or her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/LynneMcTaggart2011/
Every Weds 9:00am PST.
In my current reality I am finding the need to be patient with myself, to stop putting so much pressure on myself to "get everything done" and to just relax into being for a moment in time.
Also wanted to share about something my friend Maylene is organizing to honor and celebrate Mother Earth.
Details from here are here:
Day 4.22 I'm inviting you to spend 3 mins sending love and gratitude to Earth by putting bare skin on the ground Wednesday at 8:25p MST (7:25p PST, 10:25p EST)
It would be amazing to have people all around the world essentially giving Mama Gaia a hug from all directions at the exact same moment.
What do you think? You in?
Feel free to send your own invitations. Where will you be touching Earth on #OneLoveEarthDay ? 💗🌎💗🌍💗🌏💗
🔮Ahh! I'm about to hit the publish button and part of me is wondering: will anyone actually listen?
My name is Maria Vandenburg and I've just felt this pull to share myself and my journey. I think my hope is that anyone who happens to come across this will see a reflection of their own lives and realize they aren't alone.
This podcast is me stepping out of my comfort zone, it's not easy for me to vulnerable and authentic. For years I lived in the mantra of "I don't do vulnerable." But my life path currently is about the embrace, the embrace of my vulnerability and willing to authentically show up and share myself.
This particular episode is the start of that journey.
For more details on 30 days of Love and to sign up - click here: https://intentioninspired.com/try-love/
For more details on me - click here: www.justmariakv.com
As I say at the end of the podcast: I love you, I appreciate you, take care of yourself out there. ❤️