ML Devitt’s "Wellbeing is Key" Podcast

Through my own personal growth and while supporting my therapy and life coaching clients, I have become deeply aware of the concept and practice of self-acceptance. I have also become aware of the impact the level of our self-acceptance has on our journeys to being in a better place mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The quality and depth of our own degree of self-acceptance permeates into nearly everything we do. It is a low gentle whisper that plays in the background of our daily lives. We can be almost unaware of the impact it has on us. As it is subtle and exists low to the ground in our awareness. And yet with my own self-reflective practice, and through exploring the concept of self-acceptance with my clients, what I have come to understand is that the more proactively we are willing to engage in reflecting inwards and exploring more closely how fully we are able to accept ourselves, then the better and more freely we are able to grow and expand personally and professionally.

Firstly, take a breath.

Take a step back from your day, take a step back for your to-do list, and let go of any negative inner critical thoughts that might be swimming around in your head. Pause and reflect on what your current inner self-talk is? Now take a few slow deep breaths, allow yourself to breathe out that old inner self-talk (if it's not self-supporting) and try using the below mantra to start that process of embodying “full and unconditional acceptance of yourself.”

I fully and unconditionally accept all aspects of myself and who I am right now.

I acknowledge and accept my strengths and weaknesses.

I accept that I am a work in progress.

I am ready, open and willing to learn and grow.

Secondly, Journal your process.

Take even 5-10 minutes daily to journal your thoughts around how you are being actively present in your own self-acceptance process. Use some of the following journaling prompts to support your process.

-          I am choosing to accept myself fully and unconditionally because...

-          Aspects of myself I would like to improve are…

-          Aspects of fully and unconditionally accepting myself I find hard include…

-          When I give myself full and unconditional self-acceptance, I feel...

-          What daily actions will I take to embody and embrace full acceptance of myself?

So, what I have experienced and grown to understand is that this active process of self-acceptance is one of the bedrocks of our personal foundations that will enable us to stretch and grow more easily into the person we are meant to be.

So how would you like to dream big? Be brave take that first step and begin to pull some thoughts together on what your big authentic dream life would look like. Start to put down some thoughts on where you are now and where you would like to get to. Be intentional and present with the dream daily. Remember that it is fluid and ever-changing, the learning is in the experience you have along the way and your commitment to the process and the journey. Have a listen to my podcast as I talk through some initial steps you can take to dare to dream big for yourself.

It’s all a go-go.

Do you find it hard to slow down? Do you find it hard to be still? Do you know what it is that keeps you moving and pushing forward? Do you feel like sometimes you can’t see the woods for the trees? What would it feel like to truly slow down, to truly pause and consider exactly where you are right now, how you are feeling right now and what you need right now? Believe it or not, that is an essential aspect of what is going to support you in striving and achieving those states and things that you truly and authentically want to aspire to.

In this modern world environment, it can be very easy to get carried along with all the need-to and must-have thinking. And it’s that thinking that drives that need to always be on the go and to strive for those things that we feel will be the answer for each of us, and then once that has been achieved it might be ok to slow down for a bit. But the trouble with that thinking is that most times once we get that thing, we have been striving for we then find something else we need to strive for and it becomes a vicious cycle of striving, pushing, seeking, chasing without any room to pause and sit with where we are emotionally, physically, and spiritually rather than materially.

I have been getting a lot of messages from the universe over the last week. Specifically saying to follow my bliss. To be led by my heart and to do what I love. I am in the process of a transition in the way I work right now and have been doing my best not to steamroll ahead and do what my head tells me I should be doing. But instead, give me some time and space to think about how I would truly love to work, what does my heart draw me to? Interestingly I wrote about this in last week's blog post “Building Personal Empowerment”

So, I have consciously freed up a lot of time over the last few months with the specific intention of not doing anything. Just waiting and allowing myself to be still and see what ideas float into my mind. I have to say it has been a challenge to let go of all the logical mind thinking, thoughts telling me of all the things I could be doing, and instead take time to really learn to sit in my energy state and listen to what my heart and soul is telling me to do. On top of this process, it’s also been a challenge to allow me to let the ideas come without instantly giving myself lots of reasons why a particular idea and preference wouldn’t work. Letting go of that critical thinking and creating a more curious outlook has taken time and mindfulness. And yet here is what I have learned as I have set the intention to be more present and mindful around the choices, I am making for myself and set the intention to open myself up more to the idea of following my bliss and doing more of what I love from a work perspective.  Here are a few things I am more open to and aware off because of this process. And if this is something you are curious about implementing yourself have a listen to the points I cover in this podcast. 

Where to from here?

Have you ever got to a point of thinking, why am I doing what I am doing, I have lost my sense of purpose, what is life all about? Maybe you are asking yourself where is the meaning in my life? There are things going on around you in the external world, and you are noticing that you are “feeling a bit lost” maybe even “overwhelmed.” Finding ways to get more grounded and connect to the internal you will strongly improve your levels of personal empowerment and sense of direction. It can also help you get back to a place of having more focus, of feeling clearer, motivated, and energized to move forward with life. So where do you start so you can begin to build a stronger sense of personal empowerment as well as feel more grounded and connected to your internal self.

Life itself is an ongoing learning and expansion process. It is your right to live a fully heartfelt and authentic life. I do feel strongly that we are all on this human journey to learn how to live a fully heartfelt, joyful authentic life. So where do you want to start? What is your heart calling you to do? What block of time are you going to mark off in your calendar to build your state of personal empowerment.

Letting go and Embracing Stillness

Have you struggled to get to a place where you are at ease with doing those things that you get real enjoyment out of or just simply taking time to literally do nothing? Our minds and their thoughts can really put pressure on us sometimes. Making it more difficult for us to make those choices that are truly self-supporting and self-nurturing.

Our inner critic can leave us in a space of thinking that we must keep working, be doing something productive, or helping or doing something for others. So when a thought pops into our head of “I wouldn’t mind just chilling for a bit”, or maybe it’s “taking time to read a book”, or the idea of doing something that really feeds your soul that nagging inner chatter can talk you out of it.

From my own experience and those of my clients, making space and time for periods of stillness or creativity offers a beautiful opportunity to get recentered, let go of overthinking, and start to explore a different state of being, that is way more peaceful and calming. Which is much more supportive in building a deeper sense of inner calm over the longer term.

From childhood to early adulthood to full adulthood we go through a range of developmental stages. We learn to walk, talk, run and explore. We grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And on paper, it can all seem so straightforward and simple. And yet it is more complicated than that. Learning to live our lives and be fully content with them, appears to be one of the challenges of our modern times. There are so many external stimuli, so many external influencing factors that can interfere with what should be an organic fluid path for each of us to achieve our true potential. There is the expression that we can spend our adulthood working to overcome our childhood, so we can discover who we are truly meant to be. So, if you are in that place of considering or asking yourself the question: am I truly living to my authentic potential? Is there something else I could be doing with my life? Is there more I could be exploring to live in my authentic potential? How do you navigate life in the here and now to help you live your life to its authentic potential?

In today's podcast, I talk about five different states that will help you settle into that “state of being” that will enable you to navigate towards and fully connect with your authentic potential.

So, I wanted to check in with you and ask you this. Do you get to a point of overwhelm or life overload sometimes? How do you address this? What do you do to help ground yourself so you’re able to step back from all life can throw at you?

Through the process of exploring different strategies and habits that will help you feel more grounded and soul connected, work to find those things that work for you personally, that sit well with who you are and what you feel most drawn to. My rituals and routines help me to unwind, slow down, get grounded and feel more present in the here and now. Think about how you would prefer to be feeling, and what tools, rituals and routines will support you with that. So as a starting point for your own exploration process here is a few strategies and techniques to explore and consider.

The main principle is to find those strategies, activities and routines that help you slow down, decompress, get more grounded in yourself and be more connected to your own emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs. Pause and think about how you can create a grounding and deeper soul connection practice that will help to address your emotional state, calm your body, clear your head, and tend to your soul.

“Not enough” thinking: an obstacle to your Personal Growth and Expansion.

“Not enough” thinking, some people say can be a big motivator to helping you strive to achieve what you wish in your life. And on one level, yes, sure that is possible. However, I've noticed that  “not enough thinking” and dwelling on this thinking daily can end up feeling like this massive obstacle you have to try to overcome every day. And the trouble with “Not Enough” thinking is that it will never slow down or stop unless you learn to face it head-on and start to create another frame of mind to motivate and inspire you. Shifting your mindset from focusing on the “not enough” to maybe a more curious “what would feel right for me?” is a good starting point. In this podcast we will cover some key points: 

Limitations of "Not Enough" Thinking:

Choosing more empowering thinking:

Self-Reflection and deeper connection to your heart’s desires:

Finding your own pace and life balance

Your personal growth opportunity

Learn to Create healthy thinking habits

Leaving the Social Media Shine behind

Scroll, scroll, scroll. On and on it goes….

We seek, feed on, explore and absorb from the external what in reality we can only find within in our deeper soul-self. So we can get pulled into comparing ourselves to the external world. But, believe it or not, this is a spinning wheel that you don’t always need to jump on.

When you look at those images on Social Media and feel yourself begin to self-judge and find yourself wanting. Stop, take a breath, and ask yourself this self-grounding question:

What is genuinely essential for me in my life? Take your focus off those external things and bring yourself back to taking care of yourself by developing your internal frame of reference for life.

Remind yourself to let go of the impression that everyone else’s life is better than yours. Remind yourself that things go deeper than an image that snaps a millisecond of someone else’s life. Remind yourself that there will be many other things behind that image that isn’t posted and won’t be as perfect.

Ask yourself if maybe it’s better not to be scrolling social media, but instead, put that time towards doing something for yourself. Is it a quick walk? Is it reaching out and connecting with friends? Or is it doing something that you may have been putting on the long finger?

Social Media images can offer the appearance of an ideal life. But, in reality, life is far from perfect. Life is a day to day process that each of us will experience in our way, with our perspectives and emotional response. Understanding that and staying grounded in that allows you to create your own shining life as you work through your life.

Stepping into Self-Acceptance is a gift you give to yourself.

The benefits of having a self-accepting attitude and the ripple effects this can create are limitless. So where do we start in developing a solid foundation of self-acceptance to grow and develop from. What is the first thing that we can do to begin to accept ourselves for who we are in this present moment? So that we can move forward with purpose and energy in our daily life?

Meditation is the key to your soul self.

I've often heard people say the following about meditation: what's that going to give me, I can hardly sit still for 10 mins let alone meditate on a regular basis? I don't think it's for me. Do those thoughts sound familiar?

So this is where I am going to say "hold your horses" and "don't be so quick to dismiss the practice of Meditation". You may well be talking yourself out of something that is in truth a true gift to yourself, in your endeavour to live a truly authentic and heartfelt life.

Am I overstating things or getting carried away, honestly, I don't think so. From my own experience and life, journey meditation has become a key element of my daily routine. That routine has enabled me to stay grounded and connected to my inner soul-self, which in turn has enabled me to live each day's experiences in a more heartfelt and authentic way.

What it has also given me is the increased capacity to stay in the present moment and get out of my thinking around things from my past, and thoughts and constant planning about the future. By staying in the present moment, I have been more able to be present with the day to day reality of my life, and get much more done.

So what has been my experience of meditation and why do a recommend it to you. Well here are just some of the reasons that I feel it is a valuable resource to have at your disposal.

Looking at the people around us, and comparing ourselves to what they say, what they are doing, what they have just bought or how far ahead they are, can eat away at us if we let it!! The habit of looking at things external to ourselves and comparing ourselves to those things can leave us feeling drained and demotivated.

We can end up putting a lot of “should’s” on ourselves as a result. We can end up thinking - I should be where they are, I should have what they have or I should be as outgoing as they are. When really, it’s much more important to take your eyes off others and bring yourself into focus. Instead of focusing on the “don’t have’s” focus on your “do have’s”. Conserve the time and energy you put into observing and pondering external factors, and hold onto the time and energy and save it for you.

It’s important to remember that it all starts with you. If you have a wish for things to be different in any way, think about what you have direct control over to initiate that change, spend time to get to know yourself more deeply, support yourself, love yourself and embrace all the potential you have within you.

If you feel it, believe it and nurture it from within, then anything is possible for you. Get grounded in truly giving yourself the full attention and focus you deserve. You have full control over how much time you can give yourself. Start now, choose one of these suggested questions and dive deep into what it is to be you.

If you are thinking “I am not sure even where to start”, we can offer you advice and support with that. If you feel it would help to have a conversation about your next steps – email me directly at marie@lifetential.com and I would be delighted to arrange a time to talk.

How to Find Your Balance and Your Flow through Active Self-Care

Ever notice as you go through your day or week that you feel off-kilter, not quite centred, or a little off balance? Is it possibly because you are juggling too many tasks that week? Trying to do too many things in very little time? Or is there a lot swirling around in your head that it’s hard to know where to start?

Sometimes, depending on what’s happening around us, and what thoughts are going around in our heads, we can feel off-centre. We can also feel not very grounded and like we're constantly chasing our tails or on the back foot.

So, how do you support yourself when you notice yourself feeling like that? How long does it take to put your hand up and acknowledge that you are feeling off-kilter, maybe a little overwhelmed or chasing your tail?

To find your balance and your flow, take a moment, pause and do a self-check-in. Remember to be honest about how you are feeling. Think about what you need to support yourself. Don’t overthink it, or talk yourself out of giving yourself the support you need. Do put yourself on your daily priority list. Do be your own best supporter and best friend. Do let today be the start of your new proactive, self-caring routine and find your balance and your natural flow.

Getting from thinking to doing… stop the procrastination and start creating.

Have you had an idea in your head or a sense of something you would like to achieve for yourself, but it stays in your head? Do you recognize that you are procrastinating? Making that shift from thinking about something to doing it in a fully committed and motivated way can take time and daily application. It takes monitoring and shifting your mindset along the way. So where do you start? I hear you ask, what can you do to start to bring that thinking into reality.

Choose your starting point, be consistent and keep working at things, be curious about how you can improve as you go, reflect, and re-assess as you go, remember no one is perfect, and with every day that you apply yourself to the tasks at hand, the stronger your grow and the closer you get to living that life you have envisioned for yourself. Because you are the creator of your own destiny.

Pause and think for a moment and then decide where you would like to start.

If you are thinking “I am not sure even where to start”, We can offer you advice and support with that. If you feel it would help to have a conversation about your next steps - email me directly at marie@lifetential.com and I would be delighted to arrange a time to talk.

In recent months I’ve used one quote often, for my clients and for myself, and that is the quote: “slow and steady wins the race”. There are similar quotes to this one including, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, “take things one day and one step at a time”, “you can’t rush a good thing”. Each of these offers an important perspective that we can lose sight of sometimes or struggle to be in, other times. That act of trying to motor on with things, rushing things, that act of creating a plan and steaming ahead with it when sometimes it is so much better to slow things down and go at a more considered pace.

That state of just motoring ahead, sticking to a plan, or constantly needing to have a plan to stay focused on sometimes is not the best approach. And it reminds me of another quote “haste makes waste”. These are well-known sayings and have come about as a result of people having walked these paths long before us. And they are worth paying attention to.

So, pause and consider this for a moment – how hard is it for you to slow down and pace yourself? What do you do to take your foot off the pedal? If you were to take your foot off the pedal of your life, what do you think it would help you see? How would you begin this process of taking things more slowly? Where could you start? Listen to the podcast to hear some suggestions. 

How do we build momentum in our lives, how do we get the forward movement that inspires and motivates us? What motivates us to begin to do things in a different way and gain the forward movement we want in our lives. What helps us break out of the caterpillar mode we might find ourselves in? What would it take to become the beautiful butterfly you are meant to be? Certainly, one of the things that helps is knowing what direction you are headed in, knowing what you want to strive for in your life and knowing what you would like to be different in your life in comparison to where you are right now.

Think about how you can grow as an individual so that you can fully support yourself to achieve that life you truly desire for yourself. Self-love and self-awareness are powerful tools that will empower you in reaching that desired life you have in mind. The key to personal growth, building deeper self-awareness and understanding is working to regularly step out of your comfort zone; those uncomfortable feelings are feelings of personal growth. Embrace those, that is part of what being human is all about.

Self-acceptance is at the heart of what will support you in paving the way towards the life you want to achieve for yourself. Self-acceptance is the bedrock of our personal foundations that we build from.

In contrast, self-criticism, self-judgement and that constant pressure we can live our lives by truly slows us down wears us out and drains us, without us even realising it. We think those patterns of thinking are what get us to where we are, and we couldn’t possibly progress without them when maybe, just maybe, by talking to ourselves in a more supportive, compassionate and self-affirming way it would be so much more energising, liberating and empowering for us.

If you are thinking “well, sure, I accept myself”, take a moment and consider how do you do this daily? How are you your own best supporter every day? Think about what you do specifically that tells you each day that you accept yourself fully and unconditionally. What if you supported yourself every day, made self-affirming choices, used regular self-supporting self-talk, built yourself up every day? How would that feel for you? Visualise yourself doing all those things that demonstrate that you fully accept yourself daily. Are you giving yourself rest when you need it, giving yourself space and time when you have had a difficult day, giving yourself some downtime doing those things that you enjoy, giving yourself opportunities to try out new things, giving yourself new experiences to grow and expand through?

Here are just some of the benefits of being fully committed to self-accepting behaviours and embracing that self-supporting mindset.

So, take a moment, and be honest with yourself - how could you up your “self-acceptance” game? What can you add to your process of self-acceptance that will support you in building confidence, that will help open you up to new opportunities, build that deeper sense of autonomy and support you to step into that formidable, unstoppable person you are meant to be?

So, where do you want your self-acceptance journey to begin? Think for a moment - what would you like to do to support yourself over the next few weeks around this? Think: where would you like to start?

Have you ever noticed that when you are rushing around getting through your to-do list and doing all those things that you committed to doing, that you are almost doing things in a “going through the motions” sort of way? And when you think about it, you are less present in the moment and more present in your thinking around the next place you need to be or the next thing you’ve got to do. Then it gets to the point of being switched on and focused on those things in the future rather than being present in the moment and more grounded in yourself.

Spending too much time thinking about the things you should be or need to be doing deprives you of that essential “me time” which allows you to find your natural and organic flow. What if you went at things more based on your natural flow and wishes? What would it feel like to be much more present in the here and now and more fluid about what you choose to do next? Here are 5 simple steps to help you start the process of finding and tapping into your natural flow.

Have you ever paused and looked at your week ahead on a Sunday or Monday and thought “OMG”? Our mind has a wonderful capacity if unchecked to take us down the road of overwhelm, when it starts its glorious dance of overthinking, overanalysis and forward planning that at times can take us into a right old tailspin. We then begin the week in an exhausted state just by thinking about our week ahead.

So, what do we do to manage this overthinking, overanalysis and overplanning? Here are a few thoughts on some strategies and techniques that might help you. 

Remember why you step back from overwhelm…

If you are not in a state of overwhelm, you are more able to cope with situations in a more considered way and you will have more clarity and focus. By making the choice to step back from overwhelm you have been proactive and taken ownership of supporting yourself, and that creates a positive response within you. It supports your sense of autonomy and your capacity to support and take care of yourself. All these things create more positive ripple effects as you progress through your week.

So, what first step would you take to step back from overwhelm?

We can become victims of our own negative thinking patterns, in very subtle and unconscious ways. And yet the research suggests that these negative thinking patterns that are stored in our brain can be rephrased and adapted to create more compassion-based and empowering thinking patterns. And that these thinking patterns help build you up, rather than knock you down.

So, where do we start to create that more compassionate and empowered self-talk?

Offer yourself Compassion and Understanding Daily

Begin to recognize when you are giving yourself a hard time or pushing yourself too much. Take a moment and reconsider what you can offer yourself in that moment - some compassion and kindness, alongside some self-understanding. This can go a long way and take the pressure off you day-to-day. None of us are perfect, we are all works-in-progress. When we know more, we can grow and evolve as we were meant to.

Wash, rinse and repeat

So, remember - you are in control, negative talk can be a reaction to a trigger event, you can work to create a filter, to let the good talk in, check the negative and rephrase it, all of which helps create a new thinking pattern in your brain. Practice will help embed this way of processing your thoughts. And alongside this. remember to be compassionate and understanding of yourself daily.

Keep implementing these techniques until they become second nature for you. And as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. Allow yourself time and space to consistently apply these techniques until you get to the point of it feeling like second nature, and something that you automatically do. It’s a bit like learning to drive a car, initially, you must really think and concentrate, and yet eventually it becomes instinctive, and you automatically know what to do.