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Married to Addiction

Married to Addiction

By Julie Sanford

Do you have an alcoholic husband? Married to Addiction is a faith-based podcast that gives the wife of an alcoholic the tools and strength she needs to navigate her husband's addiction without losing herself in the process.
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Episode 54: Being Supportive vs Being a Doormat

Married to Addiction

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Episode 61: A Life Manual for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 61: A Life Manual for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Welcome to Season 4 of the Married to Addiction podcast!  This episode is a bit different in that I am 'pulling back the curtain' on what is essentially the Life Manual for wives of alcoholics that I have created. What is it? Tune in to find out, and hear allll the details! ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook for wives of alcoholics click right here.
24:16
November 16, 2022
Episode 60: When is faith not enough?
Episode 60: When is faith not enough?
Faith. It is vital in our lives as Christian women. But is there ever a time when faith is not enough? In this episode we will explore that question, and I will share with you how it can sometimes look when there is more for us to do than just having faith. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook for wives of alcoholics click right here.
11:54
November 09, 2022
Episode 59: Answering Your Questions
Episode 59: Answering Your Questions
This episode is a good ol' Q&A. I asked those on my email list what questions they had as the wife of an alcoholic and got a BUNCH of responses! This episode will cover the first ten, but I am sure there will end up being a Part Two, so stay tuned for that. In this episode I will answer questions about everything from finances to kids to drunk driving, so be sure to tune in. I bet some of these are things you have been wondering about too. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook for wives of alcoholics click right here.
26:47
October 27, 2022
Episode 58: Why Some of the Things You’ve Tried Haven’t Worked
Episode 58: Why Some of the Things You’ve Tried Haven’t Worked
I tried EVERYTHING.  The things I thought I should do. The things 'they' said to do.  The things that seemed right. Even some of the things that seemed wrong (I was desperate).  But nothing worked. All I ended up with was more frustration. I couldn't figure out why! Even when I attempted to go about things the 'right' way nothing would change for the better. In this episode we will be talking about some CRITICAL pre-work that we simply must do if we are ever going to meet with any type of 'success' during this journey as the wife of an alcoholic. This is seldom talked about, but it truly changes everything.  ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook for wives of alcoholics click right here.
18:13
October 07, 2022
Episode 57: How to Stop the Madness!
Episode 57: How to Stop the Madness!
This life as the wife of an alcoholic feels like complete madness sometimes. We stay in a state of heightened awareness, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're confused, we're scared, we don't know what to do next, and we feel as if we're hanging by a thread. We just want to STOP the madness! In this special episode I will tell you exactly what you need to do to stop the madness in your life, beginning right now.  Don't miss this one. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook click right here.
14:19
September 27, 2022
Episode 56: A Spirit of Bondage and Torment
Episode 56: A Spirit of Bondage and Torment
'Bondage and Torment' are terms that we commonly associate with addiction itself, but the truth is that we as wives can suffer from these things every bit as much as our husbands. In this episode we will talk about what a spirit of bondage and torment looks like, and how these things can take root in our lives. I'll also give you some practical ways that you can begin to get out from under them, which is SO important since staying in a spirit of bondage and torment is staying in agreement with the enemy. Please join me for this important episode. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook click right here.
12:52
September 22, 2022
Episode 55: 5 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now
Episode 55: 5 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now
There comes a time in our journey as the wife of an alcoholic when we need to sit down with ourselves and ask some questions. We get so caught up in the stress and chaos of everything that's constantly coming at us that we stay in reactive mode, never taking the time to evaluate what is happening to US. In this episode I will give you five questions that you need to ask yourself RIGHT NOW if you are the wife of an alcoholic, no matter if you have been on this journey for three months or three years. So listen in, take some notes, honestly answer these questions, and then be good to yourself and make any changes that you need to make. Because you're SO worth it. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. To grab my FREE 40-page Coaching Workbook click right here.
20:27
September 14, 2022
Episode 54: Being Supportive vs Being a Doormat
Episode 54: Being Supportive vs Being a Doormat
This can be a really hard line to walk sometimes. We feel like our husband needs our support through this, but we also feel like we are being mistreated because of his drinking and drinking behaviors. A lot of times women will draw a hard line in the sand on one side or the other, but that is not my stance on things. I believe you can remain compassionate (as we are called to be) without allowing yourself to be walked on. In this episode we will talk about some ways to manage both sides of this equation. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here.  You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
12:34
August 23, 2022
Episode 53: Changing This Changes Everything
Episode 53: Changing This Changes Everything
You know I love you, right? Well I hope that we will still be friends after this episode because I'm dishing out a little bit of tough love. I learned SO many things the hard way when my husband was addicted, and I don't want that for you. That's why I'm here!! So please tune in and listen to the one thing that changed EVERYTHING for me, and is also changing things for the women I work with. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. (Right now you can join for 14 days for FREE!) You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
12:18
August 16, 2022
Episode 52: The Importance of a ‘To-Don’t’ List
Episode 52: The Importance of a ‘To-Don’t’ List
We all have a 'To-Do' list, right? And most of the time it has WAY too much on it. But have you ever heard of a 'To-Don't' List?  And did you know that having one of those is actually far more important when you're the wife of an alcoholic? In this episode I will introduce you to the 'To-Don't' list, tell you why you need one, and give you some examples of what should go on it. If you are feeling overwhelmed (and I'm almost sure that you are) then you need to give this one a listen. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. (Right now you can join for 14 days for FREE!) You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:23
August 09, 2022
Episode 51: The Difference Between Letting Go of Things You Can't Control and Being in Denial
Episode 51: The Difference Between Letting Go of Things You Can't Control and Being in Denial
Do you have a difficult time with the idea of letting go of things you can't control? Do you envision people who do that as walking around in a La-la land of denial? In this episode we will talk about the difference between the two, and the truth is that they actually couldn't be more opposite. Letting go is rooted in one thing, and being in denial is rooted in something completely different. Give this episode a listen to learn more. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
11:54
July 26, 2022
Episode 50: How to Set Expectations for Yourself as a Christian Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 50: How to Set Expectations for Yourself as a Christian Wife of an Alcoholic
Ever feel not 'Christian-y' enough because you're struggling through this journey with your addicted husband? Sometimes we can feel guilty, ashamed, or like we're not a good Christian if we don't have 'the joy of the Lord' all the time. In this episode we'll tackle that head-on. I'll talk about what to do when you feel that way, and how to give yourself some grace in the process. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
12:07
July 19, 2022
Episode 49: Should I Go to Meetings?
Episode 49: Should I Go to Meetings?
I remember having a BIG problem with going to meetings when my husband was addicted. For several different reasons, which we'll talk about in this episode. For some of us they just aren't a good fit. So the short answer to the 'Should I go to meetings' question is really 'It depends'. In this episode we'll talk about who meetings are best suited for, who they may not be suited for, and what you might want to do instead. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
14:07
July 14, 2022
Episode 48: Meditative Bible Verses for Every Struggle
Episode 48: Meditative Bible Verses for Every Struggle
As the wife of an alcoholic do you ever feel like you just need a timeout?! I know I did....a LOT. This episode is a bit different than the rest. It's for you to listen to when you feel like you want to scream, or when you feel anxious, depressed, lonely, etc. In fact there is a scripture in this episode for most every hard feeling that you may be experiencing.  These words can bring peace, rest, and comfort to your mind, heart, and soul. Give it a listen. I pray it helps you. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:60
July 07, 2022
Episode 47: Should I confront my husband about his drinking?
Episode 47: Should I confront my husband about his drinking?
I hear it all the time: 'But if I don't confront him he will think it's okay with me!' Will he though?? I confronted my husband about his drinking a million times. And guess what....it didn't change a thing except for MY journey through this. In this episode we will talk about whether or not you should confront your husband about his drinking, how confrontation might be doing just the opposite of what you want, and what you might want to try instead. ________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:36
June 23, 2022
Episode 46: 3 Things to Focus on When You're Hanging by a Thread
Episode 46: 3 Things to Focus on When You're Hanging by a Thread
Episode 46: 3 Things to Focus on When You're Hanging by a ThreadSO many wives of alcoholics tell me they feel like they are 'hanging by a thread'. And I know they truly do, because I did too. It is such a difficult, overwhelming place to be, but you just don't know what to do to get yourself out of it. So today I am giving you three things to focus on when you're in that spot. Within those three main focuses are several everyday things that you can start with right now. Even if you only implement a couple of these my hope is that these tips will give you a sense of relief....and what wife of an alcoholic doesn't need that?? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (my group for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
20:33
June 14, 2022
Episode 45: The Power of Speaking Life
Episode 45: The Power of Speaking Life
'Speaking life'. What does it mean and why should you care? The concept of speaking life is important in general, but especially while we're in a situation such as this. Negative words breed negative power, and positive words breed positive power. Just like many other things....one is from God, and one is from the enemy. But how do we actually DO this? How can we speak life into our situation, and reap the benefits from it? Tune in to find out.... ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:56
May 31, 2022
Episode 44: Let's Talk About Sex (with Matt and Sheri from the Untoxicated Podcast)
Episode 44: Let's Talk About Sex (with Matt and Sheri from the Untoxicated Podcast)
Sex. It's a topic that's not discussed much in this arena, but it's an important one that needs to be addressed. The relationship that we as wives have with our addicted loved one is different than any other because there is a physical component. In this episode I am speaking with Matt and Sheri from the Untoxicated Podcast, and they will be sharing both sides of how they navigated their physical relationship during Matt's addiction. This can play out a little bit differently for each couple, depending on the particulars of the relationship, but there are a couple of things that we all agree every woman in this situation should do. Please tune in to this one if you could use some guidance in this area. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ You can find Matt and Sheri at soberevolution.org. Be sure to also tune into the Untoxicated Podcast.  To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
32:12
May 24, 2022
Episode 43: Knowing Is One Thing, but Doing Is Everything
Episode 43: Knowing Is One Thing, but Doing Is Everything
You've probably heard me say this before: Knowing is one thing, but doing is everything. What exactly does that mean though? Well if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, and hearing a lot of suggestions to improve things but not seeing any improvement in your life then this may be for you. This concept is also known as 'Nothing changes if nothing changes'. We can have ALL the knowledge in the world, but if we do nothing with it things will stay the same. It can be scary to do things differently, but I guarantee that it's not as bad as what you are probably experiencing.  Is it time for you to start doing? Listen in to find out.... __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
18:20
May 17, 2022
Episode 42: The Importance of the Armor of God for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 42: The Importance of the Armor of God for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Are you familiar with the Armor of God? If not, then I encourage you to become familiar with it, because it is the perfect thing for us to 'put on' as wives of alcoholics.  The Armor of God will help us protect our minds, hearts, and spirits during times of trouble.  It's what we should wear during spiritual warfare....and having addiction in our homes requires spiritual warfare. Please tune in to this episode to learn more about the armor of God, and how it can help protect us during this difficult journey. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
16:17
May 04, 2022
Episode 41: What if My Husband Never Gets Sober?
Episode 41: What if My Husband Never Gets Sober?
It's kind of the elephant in the room. The thought crosses all of our minds from time to time: 'What if my husband never gets sober??' It's a hard thing to think about, but does that mean we are doomed to a life of misery if it happens? Absolutely NOT. In this episode we'll talk about a couple of aspects of this.  What would our physical situation look like? What are our options? What would our spiritual life look like? Could there be any sort of reason for all of this? I know it's not a fun question, but I truly think every wife of an alcoholic needs to listen to this one. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:41
April 25, 2022
Episode 40: 5 Steps to Exiting the Whirlwind of Chaos
Episode 40: 5 Steps to Exiting the Whirlwind of Chaos
CHAOS. That's what my life was when my husband was deep in addiction. I was either constantly being pulled under by all of the awful things that were happening around me, or frantically trying to employ whatever 'damage control' I thought I could to keep things from getting worse.  It was a devastating way to live, and it negatively affected every area of my life. If you can relate to any of that, then this episode is for you. In it I will give you five ways to exit the whirlwind of chaos that you're probably living in.  These are things I really wish I had done back when I was in the thick of it. Please give this episode a listen. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
21:54
April 19, 2022
Episode 39: What About My Kids?
Episode 39: What About My Kids?
This is something I get asked a lot: What about my kids?  As mamas we worry about our kids anyway, but even moreso when they are in a home with an alcoholic parent. In this episode I will share with you some of the things I wish I had done differently when my husband was deep in addiction where my kids were concerned.  I'll also give you some great (free) resources that can help you help them through this difficult time.  _______________________________________________________________________________________ Resources mentioned in this episode: 'Is Addiction Really a Disease with Dr. Kevin McCauley' video: https://youtu.be/b2emgrRoT2c Hazelden Betty Ford Children's Program (free virtual program available): https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/treatment/family-children/childrens-program Peaceful Family Oklahoma In-Person Program (free of charge): https://peacefulfamilyok.org/ NACOA's free Parent Kit: https://nacoa.org/resource/kit-for-parents/ Little Shoots Deep Roots (Christian tools for children): https://littleshootsdeeproots.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
24:21
April 12, 2022
Episode 38: Some Help for the Suffering
Episode 38: Some Help for the Suffering
Sometimes walking this path is SO confusing. Why are we being put through this? Why isn't God coming to our rescue? Why are we having to suffer?? In this episode I'll give you some perspective that I think might change the way you look at things. If you feel like your life is nothing but endless suffering right now, then please give this episode a listen.  _______________________________________________________________________________________ To read Feedspot's 'Best 60 Addiction Podcasts' post (we’re #38!) click here. To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
15:22
April 06, 2022
Episode 37: Celebrating One Year of the Married to Addiction Podcast!
Episode 37: Celebrating One Year of the Married to Addiction Podcast!
The Married to Addiction podcast is one year old today! In this episode I will share with you some of the podcast's statistics, and we'll talk about the most listened to episodes, along with what the future holds. I also want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have tuned in, whether you have listened once, or have heard every episode. YOU are the reason I'm here and I am so grateful for you! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU Love, Julie --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
19:42
March 30, 2022
Episode 36: Four Different Ways That This Can Play Out
Episode 36: Four Different Ways That This Can Play Out
Do you feel like you have only two options as the wife of an alcoholic? 1. Stay and be miserable until your husband gets sober 2. Leave If you're like I was then neither of those is what you want. Truth is those aren't your only options. There are actually four different ways that being married to an alcoholic can play out, and we will talk about those in today's episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here. You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com
14:57
March 16, 2022
Episode 35: The Line Between Faith and Works for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 35: The Line Between Faith and Works for the Wife of an Alcoholic
The Bible says 'Faith without works is dead'. But what does that really mean? And how do we know exactly what is our part in a situation, and what is God's part? I was fuzzy on that for a good long while. But discernment here is especially important for the wife of an alcoholic, so in this episode we are talking about how to find the line between faith and works, and how to do each part correctly. There is actually a pretty simple way to tell if your 'faith and works' are in proper balance.  Tune in to this episode to learn how. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for Christian wives of alcoholics) click right here.
15:43
March 10, 2022
Episode 34: 5 More Critical Mindset Shifts for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 34: 5 More Critical Mindset Shifts for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Way back in Episode 4 we talked about some critical mindset shifts for the wife of an alcoholic, and that has since become my most listened to episode ever.  That being the case I knew it must've resonated with many of my listeners, so I wanted to do a follow up episode. In this episode I will share with you five MORE critical mindset shifts for the wife of an alcoholic.  These are all things that I frequently see women being tripped up by, which ultimately makes things harder for them.  But it doesn't have to be that way. Please tune into this episode to see if any of these things are continuously running through YOUR mind, and get some guidance on what to do if they are. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
25:55
March 04, 2022
Episode 33: You Don't Have to be Sad All the Time
Episode 33: You Don't Have to be Sad All the Time
Dark. It was so dark.  I was constantly bound by feelings of oppression. And that's exactly how the enemy wanted it. I now know that there is another way. In this episode we'll talk about getting out from under living in dark places, EVEN IF we are going through really hard things. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the weight of it all, then I really hope you give this episode a listen.  _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
18:16
February 26, 2022
Episode 32: Finding Hope with Amy LaRue
Episode 32: Finding Hope with Amy LaRue
In this episode I chat with Amy LaRue from Finding Hope.  Amy is a fellow wife of an alcoholic with a story to share that sounds like many of our own: a story of confusion, fear, and isolation. But her story didn't end there.  She is now the Coordinator for Finding Hope, an organization that supports families of addicted loved ones, and she has such a beautiful testimony to share of how God used it all for good! Please tune in to hear my talk with Amy, and get filled up with encouragement and hope. How to connect with Amy: Web: www.findinghope.today Email: amy@hopeisalive.net ______________________________________________________________________ Be sure to sign up for the FREE upcoming Boundaries Workshop! You can do so right here: Sign up for Boundaries Workshop You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
40:51
February 17, 2022
Episode 31: Getting Your Needs Met
Episode 31: Getting Your Needs Met
Do you feel like you're not getting your needs met because your husband is addicted? I already know the answer to that, because it is probably the same as mine was. When you're the wife of an alcoholic it often feels like you're hanging by a thread. And NO, you don't feel like ANY of your needs are being met. In fact you usually just drag through your days feeling hollow and empty. If that sounds like you, then this pre-Valentine's Day episode is for you.  Because it doesn't have to be that way. _______________________________________________________________________ Be sure to sign up for the FREE upcoming Boundaries Workshop! You can do so right here: Sign up for Boundaries Workshop  You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
14:03
February 11, 2022
Episode 30: The Line Between Mercy and Enabling
Episode 30: The Line Between Mercy and Enabling
In the last episode we talked about understanding addiction as a disease, and how that can lead us to empathy. In this episode we will talk about how to not let empathy lead you into enabling. This can be a tricky line sometimes. So how do we effectively stay on the mercy side of the line without drifting over into the enabling side? Tune in to hear the one important thing you can do that will make it so much easier.  _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
13:21
January 26, 2022
Episode 29: Is Addiction a Disease?
Episode 29: Is Addiction a Disease?
I think one of the hardest things for wives of alcoholics is that we just don't understand our husband's addiction, which makes it that much harder to handle it. How much of it is a choice, and how much of it is something they truly are powerless over? In this episode we will discuss addiction as a disease.  You'll get some insight into what is actually happening to our addicted husbands, as well as some guidance on what to do with that information. You'll also get some direction from God's Word as well. This one is really important. I hope you listen. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
22:28
January 20, 2022
Episode 28: Should you drink if your husband is an alcoholic?
Episode 28: Should you drink if your husband is an alcoholic?
This is a loaded subject, because reaction to this from wives of alcoholics usually runs the gamut from 'I HATE alcohol and would never touch it!' to 'Why should I have to change MY drinking habits because HE has a drinking problem?' So today we're going to dive into this head-on. I'll share a few things I think are important to consider when making this decision for yourself. We'll also talk about some ways that alcohol affects our side of things that you might not have thought about. And I'll share what I consider to be the #1 reason why you need to give this some serious thought. PS: Be sure to listen to the postscript I added to the episode for anyone whose husband is currently in recovery. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
12:56
January 13, 2022
Episode 27: The Progression of an Alcoholic Relationship
Episode 27: The Progression of an Alcoholic Relationship
When we marry our husbands we usually don't have any indication that we will be married to an alcoholic. And if we do, we usually don't think it's 'that bad'. But one of the main problems with alcoholism is that it is a progressive disease, meaning that it gets worse over time. Unfortunately that is also what happens to most alcoholic relationships as well. In this episode we will talk about what that progression looks like, and what you absolutely MUST be doing as the relationship with the alcoholic progresses and/or deteriorates. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
11:42
December 09, 2021
Episode 26: What ‘One day at a time’ Means for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 26: What ‘One day at a time’ Means for the Wife of an Alcoholic
You've probably heard the phrase 'One day at a time' as it relates to an alcoholic's recovery. But what does it mean for us? In this episode we'll talk about how that concept is different for the wife of an alcoholic, but just as important. If you frequently find yourself in the midst of fear, anxiety, and overwhelm then you need to give this one a listen. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
08:54
November 22, 2021
Episode 25: That's Not What I Want to Hear
Episode 25: That's Not What I Want to Hear
If you're anything like I was when my husband was deep in addiction you may find yourself listening to this podcast and shaking your head a lot. To be honest, I'm not even sure I would have liked this podcast back then, because I thought that a lot of the 'advice' I heard for wives of alcoholics was ridiculous. But I didn't know then what I know now. So if you have found yourself thinking things like 'That won't work for me', 'That's not applicable in my situation', or 'That won't help', then this episode is for YOU. I know how it feels to be fairly closed off to many of the suggestions you may have heard here.  But I ask that you give this episode a listen, and then give that some more thought. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here.
11:52
November 09, 2021
Episode 24: The Illusion of Control
Episode 24: The Illusion of Control
"I've GOT to make this stop!" This is one of our first reactions when our husband's drinking starts to spiral out of control. We would do anything and everything to get him to stop, and to get our lives back to normal. So that's exactly what we do. We try to control anything and everything around his drinking. Problem is that it is all an illusion. It is not going to fix it. In fact in most cases it only makes it ten times worse. In this episode we will talk about why trying to control things can be so destructive in this situation, and what we should be doing instead.  _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ NOTE: Please visit marriedtoaddiction.com to sign up for the Boundaries Workshop Interest List that I mentioned in this episode.
12:01
November 02, 2021
Episode 23: Some Hope for You
Episode 23: Some Hope for You
My husband and I just celebrated our 13th anniversary. And sometimes I can still hardly believe that we are here. Things haven't just been bad for us in the past, they have been absolutely nightmarish. In this episode I will share some of the most difficult parts of our journey through addiction, and also give you the dose of encouragement and hope that I so desperately needed back then. Thanks for listening. Love you. _______________________________________________________________________ You can learn more about all of the Married to Addiction programs and free offerings at marriedtoaddiction.com To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle (a membership for wives of alcoholics) click right here. To apply for one of the 1:1 Private Mentorship spots please click here.
17:40
October 11, 2021
Episode 22: How Codependency Hurts Your Husband and His Recovery
Episode 22: How Codependency Hurts Your Husband and His Recovery
Are you codependent?  Do you even feel like you know what that means? I wasn't sure I did for the longest time, and then once I started grasping the concept I thought 'That's not me. I'm just trying to help.' I know now how wrong that statement was.  In this episode we will talk about what codependency is, how it hurts your husband and his recovery, and how it hurts YOU. Please give this one a listen. This is one of the most important things for us to recognize and change when walking this path as the wife of an alcoholic. _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle for wives of alcoholics please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
17:24
September 27, 2021
Episode 21: Stay or Go? Five Things to Consider
Episode 21: Stay or Go? Five Things to Consider
This might be THE biggest question that wives of alcoholics have: Should I stay, or should I go? Everyone's situation is different, and I will never tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. But in this episode I wanted to give you some things that I think should at least be considered in a situation like this.  I hope it helps shed some light.   _______________________________________________________________________ To take part in my FREE Coaching Week for wives of alcoholics please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Free Resources' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
19:20
September 20, 2021
Episode 20: Renewal of Mind with Alicia Michelle
Episode 20: Renewal of Mind with Alicia Michelle
I will never forget the first time I heard 'renewal of the mind' actually explained.  I had heard about the concept before, but I didn't really understand what it was, much less how to do it.  Once I was enlightened I remember thinking 'Wait! We can actually DO that??' Then I started practicing it and it changed my life.  Not kidding. That's why it's the very first thing I have you work on when you enter my Secret Sisters Circle membership. If renewal of mind is a new concept to you (or even if you've heard of it before but don't regularly practice it) I encourage you to listen in on my conversation with Alicia Michelle of Vibrant Christian Living. Alicia Michelle is a certified NeuroCoach, and in this episode she walks us through the what, why, and how of renewing our mind. I promise that if you put these things into practice you will experience some life changes too. Please be sure to give this one a listen. _______________________________________________________________________ About my guest: Alicia Michelle is an author, Bible teacher, podcaster and certified NeuroCoach. Known as the Mindset Makeover Coach, she equips Christian women with practical brain-and-biblically-based tools so they know HOW to renew their minds in order to overcome negative thinking and cultivate godly confidence. Listen to her every week on the Vibrant Christian Living Podcast and learn more about her Bible studies and mindset courses such as the Christian Mindset Makeover™ at VibrantChristianLiving.com. About my membership: To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle for wives of alcoholics please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
43:27
September 13, 2021
Episode 19: It’s Okay to Grieve Your Relationship
Episode 19: It’s Okay to Grieve Your Relationship
You wish things could go back to the way they were.  This was not the relationship you wanted.  This was not the relationship you thought you were getting. At it's most fundamental level it's loss, and it's okay to grieve that loss. But in this episode we'll also talk about the second part of that. The 'what to do next' part. Because it's okay to grieve your relationship....but you can't stay there. _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle for wives of alcoholics please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
17:30
September 06, 2021
Episode 18: What do you do if your husband doesn’t want YOU to get help?
Episode 18: What do you do if your husband doesn’t want YOU to get help?
Have you experienced this? You say you want to go to an Alanon meeting, or join the Secret Sisters Circle, or get counseling, or whatever else to help you deal with your husband's alcoholism and he gets mad. He tells you that it won't help you, or that they're just going to 'fill your head with lies', or that he feels like you're going behind his back, etc etc. It basically just causes another fight....and the last thing you want is another fight. So you just drop the subject and give up on getting any help or support for yourself. That is exactly where the addiction wants you, and that is exactly where the enemy wants you. In this episode we'll talk about how to navigate this and how you can move forward. Because you need to move forward. _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
15:54
August 30, 2021
Episode 17: Christians Aren’t ‘Supposed to’ Have This Problem
Episode 17: Christians Aren’t ‘Supposed to’ Have This Problem
Sometimes I think it's even harder to be the wife of an alcoholic when you're a Christian. Why? Because we're not 'supposed to' have problems like this, right?  At least that's the perception, both outside and even inside the church. This just adds to our already overwhelming shame, guilt, confusion, and isolation. In this episode we will talk about the stigma around Christian families dealing with addiction. We'll also talk about what you should do if your life is being affected by this.  _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
22:05
August 19, 2021
Episode 16: Heart Wounds Lead to Blind Spots
Episode 16: Heart Wounds Lead to Blind Spots
We don't even know it's happening. We're just trying to survive the day-to-day. We move through the weeks....months....years....and don't realize how much we're changing because of what we've been through.  Wives of alcoholics experience trauma. That trauma creates a near-constant state of apprehension, and keeps us in high alert mode. It is really difficult to live like that and creates 'blind spots' in the background.  We aren't seeing things as the really are. We don't recognize that the patterns we have fallen into are destructive to us.  In this episode we'll talk about that, as well as what you can do to clear those blind spots.  _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
18:22
August 09, 2021
Episode 15: The Three Layers of Addiction with Dawn Ward
Episode 15: The Three Layers of Addiction with Dawn Ward
I am super excited to share this conversation with you all, because it is SO IMPORTANT. In this episode I am talking to Dawn Ward of The Faith to Flourish and Christian Moms of Addicted Children. Dawn and I are of like mind when it comes to treating addiction: One size does not fit all. That's because there are actually three different layers to addiction, but for some reason this is rarely talked about. We both believe that you not only have to address every layer when formulating a recovery plan, but ALSO have to take into consideration the individual's needs, which can vary greatly person to person. Today Dawn and I will discuss what those layers are, and how they affected our own loved ones' recovery journey. _______________________________________________________________________ You can find Dawn Ward at thefaithtoflourish.com and also on Facebook as 'The Faith to Flourish'. To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
01:10:18
July 13, 2021
Episode 14: 5 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently When My Husband Was in Active Addiction
Episode 14: 5 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently When My Husband Was in Active Addiction
Looking back on my journey with my husband through his years of active addiction I can see SO many things that I did do that I shouldn't have, and SO many things that I didn't do that I should have. Today I will share with you the five things that I most wish I would have done differently. Sometimes we just can't see things objectively when we are in the middle of them.  I had a friend who had walked a similar path with her husband. She tried to tell me the things that I should be changing, but I didn't really want to listen. Now I know that if I had it would have made my journey (and my husband's journey) so much easier. Today I want to be that friend to you. Please approach this episode with an open heart. Love you, sister. _______________________________________________________________________ To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please visit my website at www.marriedtoaddiction.com and look for the 'Secret Sisters Circle' tab. Or if you have clickable links enabled you can just click right here.
29:60
July 06, 2021
Episode 13: Is There Really ‘Nothing You Can Do’?
Episode 13: Is There Really ‘Nothing You Can Do’?
When my husband was struggling with alcohol addiction it used to frustrate me SO MUCH to hear 'There's really nothing you can do.'. I used to wonder how in the world I was going to survive such a difficult situation for an undetermined amount of time. So today I want to give you hope. I want to show you that there actually are some things you can do to help your husband, yourself, and anyone else in your household who is being affected. This situation doesn't have to be just constant misery, anxiety, and hopelessness. Please give this episode a listen. ________________________________________________________________________ IMPORTANT MEMBERSHIP INFO BELOW... To become a part of the Secret Sisters Circle please email me ASAP at julie@marriedtoaddiction to let me know you're interested. You can also DM me on Facebook or Instagram through my 'Married to Addiction' pages. The deadline to join as a Founding Member (and to get the lowest price ever) is this Wednesday, June 23rd!
17:39
June 21, 2021
Episode 12: The Stages of Recovery (Plus a Surprise)
Episode 12: The Stages of Recovery (Plus a Surprise)
Well, this was the first time I've ever cried on the podcast....but it probably won't be the last. In this episode we will talk about the stages of recovery.  I'll let this episode speak for itself, but suffice it to say that if you only listen to ONE of my podcast episodes this should be the one. (Just in case you didn't have a chance to jot down my email address during the episode: julie@marriedtoaddiction.com) ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Have you requested my free on-demand workshop yet? If not, you need to. It's called '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' and if you're struggling and overwhelmed by your husband's addiction right now, then this can be a absolute game-changer for you. It can be found right here.
27:03
June 17, 2021
Episode 11: The Difference Between Detaching and Emotional Abandonment
Episode 11: The Difference Between Detaching and Emotional Abandonment
I used to think that detachment sounded cold and uncaring.  How could I possibly detach from my husband right now?? And why would I want to at a time when he needs me the most? I didn't realize that detachment wasn't about that at all. In fact, it was one of the best things I could do....for both of us. In this episode we'll talk about what detachment really means, how to do it in a healthy way, and why it's so important.  ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Have you requested my free on-demand workshop yet? If not, you need to. It's called '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' and if you're struggling and overwhelmed by your husband's addiction right now, then this can be a absolute game-changer for you. It can be found right here.
14:21
June 01, 2021
Episode 10: ‘Self-Care’ for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 10: ‘Self-Care’ for the Wife of an Alcoholic
All of us have heard of 'self-care', but self care looks very different for the wife of an alcoholic. Manicures, bubble baths, and all the rest do little to nothing for us, because we are just trying to SURVIVE. In this episode we will talk about what self care should look like if we have an alcoholic husband. I'll outline the three things that I consider to be THE most important things to concentrate on when it comes to caring for yourself right now. I know you don't have a lot of (or even any) reserves, so start right here... ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Have you requested my free on-demand workshop yet? If not, you need to. It's called '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' and if you're struggling and overwhelmed by your husband's addiction right now, then this can be a absolute game-changer for you. It can be found right here.
25:52
May 25, 2021
Episode 9: How to Grow Through This Experience
Episode 9: How to Grow Through This Experience
Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it? How can you grow when you feel like you're constantly being pulled under by a tidal wave?? I was there for SO long. Just angry and resentful and trying to get through the days.  Growing in my faith or in any other kind of way was the furthest thing from my mind. But now that I'm on the other side of it I can see so clearly how much it ended up changing me for the better. It definitely took a while, but I finally got there. Opening your heart to the things we'll talk about in this episode can make this journey so much easier....even while you're still in it.  ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Have you requested my free on-demand workshop yet? If not, you need to. It's called '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' and if you're struggling and overwhelmed by your husband's addiction right now, then this can be a absolute game-changer for you. It can be found right here.
13:30
May 19, 2021
Episode 8: The Myth of Choice
Episode 8: The Myth of Choice
'My husband keeps choosing alcohol over me.' That is what I thought for a long time and it drastically affected my marriage, my approach to my husband's addiction, and my psyche. This is a common thought for wives of alcoholics, but today I want to share with you why I now 100% believe that choice as it relates to alcoholism is a myth. In this episode I'll talk about how I arrived at this decision through research, being involved with my husband's treatment program, and the catastrophic events in our personal lives that let me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all 'choice' had been completely removed. So if you are someone who is struggling with the fact that your husband keeps 'choosing' alcohol over you then I strongly encourage you to give this episode a listen. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ The article from drugrehab.com that I referenced in this episode can be found right here. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Have you requested my free on-demand workshop yet? If not, you need to. It's called '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' and if you're struggling and overwhelmed by your husband's addiction right now, then this can be a absolute game-changer for you. It can be found right here.
13:25
May 13, 2021
Episode 7: Three Signs That You Need Recovery Too
Episode 7: Three Signs That You Need Recovery Too
I didn't want to hear it!!! The notion that *I* needed 'help' or recovery was downright ridiculous to me when my husband was deep in addiction. But then things got harder and harder for me. I started having trouble at work, physical issues, and full-blown mental breakdowns. I finally realized that I was sick too. In this episode we will talk about three signs that you need recovery too, and also why it's SO critical that you get it. This is an important episode. Please listen.  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. The free on-demand workshop '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic' that we talked about in this episode can be found right here. You can find the video about being in a spirit of bondage and torment on my YouTube channel.  My 30-day online program can be found right here.
12:25
May 04, 2021
Episode 6: Compassion: How to Love the Unlovable
Episode 6: Compassion: How to Love the Unlovable
We all know that we should try to 'love as Jesus loved', but I don't think there is any circumstance that makes that more difficult than being married to an alcoholic. Between the defensiveness and empty promises and personality changes, our addicted husband came sometimes make feeling love or compassion a true challenge. But how do we do that in spite of all that? And why should we even bother when he is not reciprocating? In this episode we will talk about compassion as it relates to our alcoholic. The why AND the how. I hope you'll give this one a listen. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....the step we talk about today is actually one of five different steps that I share in my free on-demand workshop '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic'. I strongly encourage you to pick it up if you haven't already. You can get it right here.
10:58
April 27, 2021
Episode 5: Why doesn’t anyone else talk about this??
Episode 5: Why doesn’t anyone else talk about this??
We hear we should do things like 'accept what we cannot change', 'detach with love' and 'create healthy boundaries'. But when you're stuck in the middle of the storm of addiction with someone it can feel almost impossible to do those things sometimes. That's because there is a super critical step that needs to come BEFORE we try to do those things, but no one ever talks about it. In this episode I will share that pre-step with you, and explain how it can make all the difference in the world when you're the wife of an alcoholic.  _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....the step we talk about today is actually one of five different steps that I share in my free on-demand workshop '5 Steps to Breakthrough for the Wife of an Alcoholic'. I strongly encourage you to pick it up if you haven't already. You can get it right here.
12:50
April 21, 2021
Episode 4: 5 Critical Mindset Shifts for the Wife of an Alcoholic
Episode 4: 5 Critical Mindset Shifts for the Wife of an Alcoholic
One of the statements that I think is SO true for most wives of alcoholics is 'You don't know what you don't know.'. I did everything wrong for the first couple of years that my husband was struggling with addiction. But I absolutely did not know that at the time!  I thought I was 'helping', and I tried a million different things and a million different tactics. After learning the hard way that my 'helping' was most certainly not helping I turned a corner and it changed everything.  In this episode we will talk about what I consider to be five of the most important things we need to change our minds about if we are walking through addiction with our husband.   _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....to thank you for listening I would love to send you my free ebook for the wife of an alcoholic called '10 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband and Your Marriage'. You can get it right here.
14:34
March 30, 2021
Episode 3: How Do I Know if My Husband Has a Drinking Problem?
Episode 3: How Do I Know if My Husband Has a Drinking Problem?
I asked myself a lot of questions at the beginning of my journey as the wife of an alcoholic. Did my husband really have a problem with alcohol or was I just being over-sensitive? Were the things that I was noticing fairly common, or not so much? Had I just become more aware of how much he was drinking, or had it actually increased? Just how much was 'a lot' of alcohol per day? Did other people's husbands drink as much as mine? In this episode we will talk about how you can identify a drinking problem, and what to do about it if you do. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....to thank you for listening I would love to send you my free ebook for the wife of an alcoholic called '10 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband and Your Marriage'. You can get it right here.
08:02
March 30, 2021
Episode 2: How Is Married to Addiction Different?
Episode 2: How Is Married to Addiction Different?
If you're like me maybe you've looked into some of the resources and organizations that offer help for family members of alcoholics, but they've missed the mark for you in one way or another. That's how Married to Addiction was born. I created it to 'fill in the gaps' that I found elsewhere.  In this episode I'll let you know how Married to Addiction is different, and how it was designed especially for YOU and what YOU need. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening. Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....to thank you for listening I would love to send you my free ebook for the wife of an alcoholic called '10 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband and Your Marriage'. You can get it right here.
10:47
March 30, 2021
Episode 1: An Intro and What to Expect
Episode 1: An Intro and What to Expect
I'm so thrilled to bring the 'Married to Addiction' podcast to you.  It is for the wife of an alcoholic by the wife of an alcoholic, and my prayer is that it will serve as a great source of encouragement, support, and help for you. In this initial episode I will be giving you a brief intro into who I am, as well as a bit about my story and what you can expect from this podcast going forward.  Thanks so much for being here. So much love to you. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you so much for listening.  Please be sure to visit the Married to Addiction website. Also....to thank you for listening I would love to send you my free ebook for the wife of an alcoholic called '10 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband and Your Marriage'. You can get it right here.
09:58
March 30, 2021