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Contrary Gardens

Contrary Gardens

By Mary Tischbein

Mary Tischbein has been a lot of things so far in her life: a bookkeeper, a caregiver, a comedian, an actor, a writer and now she's a podcaster. Here you will find her musings, her annoyances, and her honest opinions on everything. Sometimes it will be funny, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, but it will always be real.
Got a question or comment? You can leave Mary a voicemail message that may end up on a future episode. Just go to marytischbein.com or longislandmary.com and find the recording feature on the home page.
Thanks!





The Return of the Mare Part 2
The Return of the Mare Part 2
The goodness never ends when Mary L stops by. Here's some more funny and poignant stuff. Enjoy. Leave me a comment, question, request, whatevs on my thingy on here on on the speak pipe link on my site https://marytischbein.com or https://longislandmary.com love you. :)
37:26
January 19, 2023
The Return of the Mare
The Return of the Mare
Mary L and I never run out of things to discuss. Please enjoy this fun episode of 2 Marys chatting. I know I did. :) Don't forget to leave a message or question or comment for me on my voicemail thingy. You can do it here or on the speak pipe link found on my site:  https://marytischbein.com or https://longislandmary.com
29:14
January 17, 2023
New Year, New You! It's a lie. I'll explain.
New Year, New You! It's a lie. I'll explain.
Hello my adorable Contrary Guardians. Did you stay up to see the ball drop? Did you wake up and feel like a new person? Of course you didn't.  Don't worry, it's not you.  Let's explore this lie and see where it takes us, shall we? Thanks for stopping by. :)
19:27
January 04, 2023
The rest of my chat with Danielle
The rest of my chat with Danielle
As we bring another year to a close, it's time for some reflection with good friends. Danielle and I talk about Christmas, therapy, books, and nutrition. Happy New Year to all my Contrary Guardians. May 2023 bring you and yours tons of great health, happiness, hugs and most of all, laughter. Hey! Would you like to leave me a comment or maybe you have a question that you need answered. Why not leave me a voicemail? It's easy. Just click on the message icon here or go to the link on my website: marytischbein.com or longislandmary.com :)
31:50
December 31, 2022
Dishing with Danielle!
Dishing with Danielle!
What's more fun than having a friend over for a drink and a chat? Well, recording it and releasing it out into the world, of course. This week, my friend, Danielle stopped by and we chatted about her new job, scuba diving, yup, you read that right, and her upcoming podcast. Hey! Would you like to leave me a comment or maybe you have a question that you need answered. Why not leave me a voicemail? It's easy. Just click on the message icon here or go to the link on my website: marytischbein.com or longislandmary.com Happy New Year! Love you!
34:48
December 25, 2022
Ew, that smell; film festivals; the holidays!
Ew, that smell; film festivals; the holidays!
I'm gifted with a super sensitive nose, but the cause of the nasty smell in my condo somehow evaded me for 2 weeks. Ew. We got into a film festival! It's the holidays. Yup. Wanna leave me a voice message that may end up on a future episode? Well as soon as I figure out how to do that...it's on! merry merry. Love you!
16:46
December 18, 2022
Maxwell and I discuss the Golden Globes Nominations!
Maxwell and I discuss the Golden Globes Nominations!
To most people this is the holiday season, but to me, it's awards season, my favorite season of all. In this episode, my brilliant nephew Maxwell, the filmmaker, and I discuss the nominations for the 2023 Golden Globe Awards.  And somehow, Kristen Stewart comes up! Merry Merry and enjoy. :)
44:07
December 15, 2022
Robin Savage in studio!
Robin Savage in studio!
Sometimes my friends come over and I record our conversations. It's all on the up and up, I swear. Enjoy this tete a tete with comedian and writer, Robin Savage.
28:26
December 13, 2022
Bring me all the distractions!
Bring me all the distractions!
Need a brain palate cleanser? I got you. Distractions are magic. Here are a few that worked for me. You're welcome. love you!
08:02
November 25, 2022
So many Marys! Another fun chat with my friend Mary.
So many Marys! Another fun chat with my friend Mary.
I continue my silly chat with Mary about all kinds of things. Enjoy!
28:57
November 03, 2022
I have a funny friend named Mary.
I have a funny friend named Mary.
What happens when 2 funny ladies get together and chat? Well if you have listened to Contrary Gardens before, you know! But this is a new guest, a good friend of mine that cracks me up on the regular. Meet Mary. She's a hoot.  Enjoy Part 1 of our chat about all kinds of weird stuff. 
33:23
October 29, 2022
What did Mercury ever do to you? Also, my dirty car.
What did Mercury ever do to you? Also, my dirty car.
When shit goes sideways, we blame Mercury being in retrograde. We have been doing this for a very long time. It's not Mercury. It's us. Accountability is a total boner killer, but it's the only way we are going to get unstuck. Also, why is my car so dirty and why isn't anyone coming over to wash it? See you at Fresh Market.
13:46
October 22, 2022
Come on! Angela Lansbury?! I suspect foul play...
Come on! Angela Lansbury?! I suspect foul play...
I would like the grim reaper to take a break and leave the old Hollywood actresses that are still alive, alone. Thank you. Also, I kinda sorta did standup, maybe.  ;)
15:51
October 16, 2022
Puzzle Pieces
Puzzle Pieces
This was another one of those weeks.  I am super glad you stopped by to hear what's rolling around in the old gray mare's brain. You look really pretty today. Or handsome.  Don't stay thirsty. That's stupid. Stay hydrated. love you!
17:23
October 08, 2022
Ian Changed His Mind, Tina Fey will save us, Pygmalion movies
Ian Changed His Mind, Tina Fey will save us, Pygmalion movies
This week's topics include: Manatee County has once again dodged a bullet (a huge hurricane). Tina Fey has been fixing society for years, planting little seeds of change, watering them, trying, and we're just not paying attention. Well, I am. But are the rest of you? I mean, Jyna and Robin are, too, still, but what about YOU? Give credit where credit is due. When I say Tina Fey is my Jesus, it's not just her ability to write funny stuff. A small movie that came out in 1973 kicked off my Pygmalion obsession.  and so much more! love you. mare
17:25
October 02, 2022
When Did Disney Have An Ian??
When Did Disney Have An Ian??
Judy Gold is a national treasure. It's gonna rain this week.  #hunkerdown #herecomesian #dohashtagsworkinpodcastdescriptions
10:26
September 25, 2022
Running with Cats.
Running with Cats.
You know how I love to run and have a bunch of cats? Yeah, no, that's not me. That's Robin Savage.  She's a funny lady.  Besides the exercise and the pets, and taking care of her family, she also finds time to be a comedian.  Enjoy our silly conversation.  (Please note: no cats or geckos were harmed during the taping of this podcast) :)
20:17
September 17, 2022
Taya Gaines talks about conspiracy theories!
Taya Gaines talks about conspiracy theories!
I love having guests on my podcast. This week, my friend Taya Gaines stops by to teach me about some conspiracy theories she has been investigating. I'm open minded, but I am also a bit of a skeptic.  Does Taya convince me?  Listen and find out!
35:46
September 10, 2022
The Queen is dead. Long Live Contrary Gardens.
The Queen is dead. Long Live Contrary Gardens.
Queen Elizabeth died this past Thursday. She was 96.  How can I make this about me?  Oh, I find a way. :)
22:06
September 10, 2022
Back on Noom; I want to believe I can sing; why am I so angry?
Back on Noom; I want to believe I can sing; why am I so angry?
This week's rant is personal. Oh, the other episodes aren't?  Well, yeah, they are, but this one really hits close to home. Uh huh. No. Really. Oh, just listen and you'll see for yourself. love ya!
16:24
September 04, 2022
Its getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 3!
Its getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 3!
This 3rd and final installment of our group podcast series features the Sketchy Television ensemble (Jyna Johnson, Daniel Aken and Robin Savage) chatting, eating, drinking, waiting and finally watching our Christmas Special as it aired Live on the Really Late Night Sketchfest 2022. It did not disappoint. We find ourselves simply delightful.  While we waited we discussed gamers, engagement, influencers, TikTok and Papa John's.  Yes. Papa John's.  Oh and colonoscopies! Come back every week for fresh, delicious content here at Contrary Gardens.  You look pretty/handsome today. ly Mare :)
24:24
August 28, 2022
It's getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 2!
It's getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 2!
What will my funny friends and I be discussing on today's episode? Well, I think you know it's gonna be sketch comedy! But wait! There's so much more... We start off talking about the first film Jyna Johnson wrote, directed and produced, "The Doctor Will See You Shortly", and then we move on to Country Music, the 1970's TV show, "SCTV" and Christopher Guest movies. We had a blast making this and we hope you enjoy listening.  Part 3 comes out next week, stay tuned for more silliness! Enjoy!
28:38
August 24, 2022
It's getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 1!
It's getting pretty sketchy in here...Part 1!
The cast and creators of Jyna Johnson's It's Funny To Me Productions of the "Sketchy Television Christmas Special" hang, talk, drink and snack while getting ready to watch the Really Late Night Sketchfest 2022 Live on YouTube.  Jyna Johnson, Daniel Aken, Robin Savage and I are excited to see our show in this fest and while we are waiting, we delve into some silly shit, including: How did this "Sketchy Television" phenomenon begin? Who is your favorite sketch performer? Why does Daniel know how to fall into a pile of boxes so well? This and so much more on the 1st of a 3 part podcast series with my very special and hilarious guests. Enjoy. :)
35:31
August 21, 2022
Last week was more than 7 days, podcasts I LOVE, & what are my fave ladies up to?
Last week was more than 7 days, podcasts I LOVE, & what are my fave ladies up to?
On Wednesday, I thought it was Thursday, and by Friday, I was done. Last week was like a really bad roller coaster. It went upside down so many times, and I hate that. Where the fuck are my sunglasses?  Ya wanna know my current favorite podcasts? Well, I'm gonna tell ya! I have some actresses that I really adore, and a singer. You know who they are: Kate, Sandy, Kathryn and Amy. This week, I tell you what they're doing these days. This and so much more on the latest episode of Contrary Gardens!
14:29
August 14, 2022
CPAC, Libraries and Baked Ziti
CPAC, Libraries and Baked Ziti
Hey Hey Hey!! I cooked! So CPAC, huh? Yeah. And guess what? The evil assholes defunded a library in Michigan. Bet you can guess why. Grrrrr. I have thoughts. Keep coming back. It's only going to get more and more real. - Mare's on a Tear.
15:12
August 06, 2022
Episode 20, now with more Mare!
Episode 20, now with more Mare!
buckle up. no more filters, no more politeness, no more diplomacy.  real, raw, Mare. damn the torpedos, burn it all down, fuck the patriarchy. Still a huge proponent of hugs. Thanks for listening! :)
15:12
July 30, 2022
Another One!
Another One!
I read a book! What the hell is that noise? Every heartbeat belongs to... Amy Grant. Join me for another fun episode of Contrary Gardens!!
15:38
July 23, 2022
I am back! Listen to this...
I am back! Listen to this...
Welcome back! You all look so pretty and/or handsome today. New season, new theme music, same host. Find out why I took a break, some words I can't pronounce, gay subtexts in our media, and so much more on this new episode of your favorite podcast, Contrary Gardens!
16:59
July 17, 2022
Episode 17. Now on VIDEO!!
Episode 17. Now on VIDEO!!
This week I am trying something new, we are making the podcast available on video.  It was fun to make and I do love a chance to edit.  I hope you enjoy it and that you can feel free to spread the word.  Tell your friends and family, who don't mind a bit of cursing, and we can spread the fun. Happy Weekend, my people! mare :)
13:24
April 16, 2022
The Rant of Episode 16 with a side of Hope
The Rant of Episode 16 with a side of Hope
I took a quiz to see if I am codependent. I am going to take another quiz later on, to see if I am left-handed.  It's obvious quiz results day! Also, I have an update on my guest bathroom.  Did you get me an egg bagel?
17:07
April 09, 2022
If I may kvetch for a moment & the Oscar wrap-up! Episode 15
If I may kvetch for a moment & the Oscar wrap-up! Episode 15
Episode 15 marks a return to the closet recording, no guests, just a little complaining and a little about the Oscars. I gotta share my view of the Oscars, even though it's all been said.  Also I guessed 11 out of the 23 winners, so that's not too bad. Enjoy!!
18:58
April 03, 2022
I have another guest! Comedian and author Robin Savage. Episode 14
I have another guest! Comedian and author Robin Savage. Episode 14
Check out Comedian and author Robin Savage and your favorite podcaster (that would be me) as we shoot the shit and tell stories from our glory days in standup comedy. Well, I don't know if I would call them glory days, but we definitely had some laughs.  Tune in to hear us ramble about weird open mics, home renovations and cats. Full disclosure: a couple Michelob Ultras were consumed prior to taping, and they were delicious.  Yes, I am still looking for sponsors.
31:30
March 27, 2022
The Oscars and Me! Episode 13
The Oscars and Me! Episode 13
We made it to the finale of the 2022 Awards Season with tonight's telecast of the Academy Awards, better known as the Oscars. Listen in to catch my predictions for all the major categories, even some technical ones that are not being presented live, but will be edited into the telecast. Who will you be wearing? I will be wearing flannel pjs.  and I'm keeping them. This 13th episode of Contrary Gardens is dedicated to my nephew Jason Tischbein, taken from us in 2017 by diabetes. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Jas.  Things and stuff and stuff and things. Save us a good table in the back. Hug your people. Love you!
14:21
March 27, 2022
Max and Me Part 2
Max and Me Part 2
If you're a fan of film, this is the episode for you! Max breaks down his Oscar 2022 predictions and then lets loose with a rant about the snubs.  I jump in once in a while, too. All I gotta say is, I'm not seeing Spencer. Enjoy!
20:19
March 19, 2022
Max and Me
Max and Me
Well well well.  If it isn't awards season.  Here come the Oscars and have I got a treat for you Contrary Gardians and Marbians.  Shhh, it'll catch on. I have my filmmaker nephew Maxwell Keller here to tell you all his Oscar predications and he even provides a special rant about the snubs. It's a 2-parter! Enjoy every morsel.  love you!
15:59
March 15, 2022
What an interesting week!
What an interesting week!
Things continue to happen. It's getting exciting. What? You think I'm gonna give it away here? Oh please. If you wanna know what's going on, you can listen to the podcast. I will be grateful to you forever, and a day. It's award season! Forgive me for saying the BAFTAs are today, that's wrong! The BAFTAs are next week, March 13. The Independent Spirit Awards are on today, March 6th. oops! Are you doing something different with your hair? It's cute! Go. Listen.  Love you!
14:53
March 06, 2022
I voted for the SAG awards!
I voted for the SAG awards!
I was honored to be able to not only join SAG-AFTRA but to be able to vote for the annual television and film awards for 2021. Holy moly! Very cool.  Grab a cup of Joe, sit back, relax and see if you agree with my choices. Sure beats watching the news! You look really pretty today. No, not the sarcastic version of this phrase, I mean it. You look nice. hugs.  mare :)
15:24
February 27, 2022
Award shows, the Queen and a construction update!
Award shows, the Queen and a construction update!
What a week! Actually, it wasn't that bad. We have lots of things to look forward to and it could always be worse. They keep telling me that. I shall believe them. Give this extended episode a listen and know that I appreciate you all.  Sending appropriate hugs, with your consent only, of course. mare out.
14:54
February 20, 2022
I said Doctor! Oy. Episode 7
I said Doctor! Oy. Episode 7
Hey Gang!  I hope you enjoy my latest rant about a few funny things that flittered through my brain and also a quick version of an unexpectedly shitty doctor visit. I am fine! All is well with your girl. I had to go for a follow up mammogram and ultrasound which revealed that I am fine. But the Care Industry needs a better screening process for intake nurses, and better education for nurses who call patients with results. Let the doctor do it if you don't know what you're talking about. Also, fuck Intercoastal Medical Group and their new policy of letting patients know that if they are there for an annual exam, don't ask any questions outside that scope or you will be charged a co-pay. I have no problem paying the co-pay, I have a problem being told that my wellness exam will be limited and I am not being told what those limits are. We all have questions when we go to the doctor, taking part in your health care is one of the most important things you can do in your life. I believe in a holistic approach to health, treat the entire body and brain and psyche and soul. I will have questions, and my previous primary care physician was wonderful and caring and full of answers. I don't know if my new doctor is cool because I only saw her once last year and she was a little weirded out about relocating to Florida and she let me know she is kinda lonely. I shouldn't know that! Pull it together Sister, this is about me. Anyhue, I am now looking for a new doctor who's ready to support me in my quest to get healthier. But it won't be anyone associated with IMG. I will admit that my Physicians Assistant was great, but she is not the one making the policies, that's in the hand of the man who owns and runs the business, and he is a piece of shit. Have a listen and let me know what you think. Mare out. :)
09:58
February 13, 2022
Episode 6! What? It's time for the Olympics?!?
Episode 6! What? It's time for the Olympics?!?
A brand new episode, fresh out of the closet! This week I rant about the Olympics, podcasting madness and the Sunday paper. Grab a hot cup of Joe and settle in for a fun ride through my mind. - Mare :)
10:11
February 06, 2022
Construction, Hibernation and Grieving
Construction, Hibernation and Grieving
Hey Mare, how's the home renovation going? Whatcha got going on?  Mary L's suggestion for this week - the topic of hibernation!! Grieving. Don't half-ass it. Process it fully. And a special announcement! ooooh!
09:26
January 29, 2022
Don't Lick Your Finger
Don't Lick Your Finger
Trigger Warning: I discuss the topic of suicide in this episode for the final 4 1/2 minutes, beginning at the 11:22 mark.  If this topic is something you wish to avoid, please stop listening at 11:22.  Thanks! This week I delve into disgusting habits old people have, minimalism and books I should read. 
16:00
January 22, 2022
Award Shows, Bagels, Beckinsale and Books!
Award Shows, Bagels, Beckinsale and Books!
Not everybody loves award shows, but I'm not everybody! I love 'em! Happy Awards Season! I also want to wish you a very Happy National Bagel Day, and let's discuss books. Kate Beckinsale did not get a nomination for her performance in Jolt yet, but it's early. Fingers crossed.
09:46
January 16, 2022
We went to Universal!
We went to Universal!
My family came down from NYC and we went to Universal Studios! I took a home covid test. drumroll...... I am still talking about SAG-AFTRA!
09:44
January 09, 2022
Episode 1: wtf is this?
Episode 1: wtf is this?
In my first episode, I give you a little idea of who I am and what this will be.  Clear as mud.
09:44
January 02, 2022
a plug for the podcast
a plug for the podcast
Dear Listener, And away we go! Let's talk about some stuff.  - Mare
00:34
January 02, 2022