Master of a Few

Looking back there were a lot of things going on with baby Mack and while some of it was probably the precursors to my depression or anxiety or run-of-the-mill childhood awkwardness,  some of it was definitely dysphoria I just couldn't name yet. I hope this helps someone as they try to figure out their own identity.

Instagram: @Mackofafew

I am a white straight man and it's time to check my privilege and do better than silence.

Black and brown people are being murdered simply for existing and my silence does nothing to help, so I am starting by educating myself. Below are a list of resources I'm using to start that process. I hope you'll do the same.

#Saytheirnames #Blacklivesmatter

2 Weeks Post Top Surgery!! I'm feeling good and will include more details about recovery in my 9 month on T video to be released on the 30th! Thank you to everyone who supported me and continues to support my recovery! This segment is also about my parents. I heard an interesting phrase lately that I wanted to talk about; "What is left after anger?" Hear my answer in this segment! Enjoy!

Recorded 40 hours until surgery, this is the final pre-op podcast! That's right, I am less than 2 days out top surgery day! I am so excited and wanted to record my thoughts and feelings just prior to surgery day! 

This podcast is dedicated to everyone who has supported me with kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, financial help, and all of the other amazing ways I have been blessed by chosen family.

I am so thankful for everyone who has helped me get this far. This one is for you!

I get sent these kinds of videos all of the time and so I figured I would react to this one, so that you could hear my honest thoughts. 

CW: sexual violence/abuse, child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution, detransition

Welcome to Season 4 of Master of a Few! We're 2 months from the 2 year mark and that is incredible to me! On this segment, I want to reflect on why I started this and talk about what I want to do in the future. Thanks to all those who have followed me on this journey and I hope you stick around!

Life's weird right now, so have some poetry! This is some of my more recent poetry and I hope you enjoy it!

Poems: Woven, Solstice, Fond, I Remember You, Liability, It Must be Hard

A Tornado in Nashville

A Worldwide Pandemic

Who's been reading the Left Behind books?

There is so much going on in the world right now, so let's take a just few moments to read some psalms and feel some peace. I'm praying for you all. Be kind. Be generous. Be safe.

Hey Everyone! 4 years ago today, I came out as transgender and my life changed for the better! I chose this day as my new birthday and here's the story. Enjoy!

August to February...it's only been six months and at the same time, it's already been six months! I'm so thankful to be on T, but the ways it has changed my dysphoria have been varied and odd. Here's some of my thoughts! Check out my YouTube video update coming soon!

Mental health is our topic today. I've been talking about how much happier I am than I used to be, which is so true, but today I want to talk about a concurrent reality. I have depression and anxiety, which means even when I am living my dreams and I am so happy with my life, some days are still rough and I think it's important to talk about how both can be true.

People sometimes ask "what would you change if you could change anything?". I've realized that my answer is "nothing". I've been through a lot of hard things in my life, but I can honestly say they've made me who I am and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Contentment is a rare thing, but every now and then I look around that this life I have and I just feel good about it. Today is one of those days, so let's talk about contentment.

When taking about faith with a friend, she told me about how a family member asked what her spiritual hill to die on was. I responded that I think the phrasing makes it sound like a battle and while I will die for my faith, I won't kill for it. I'm learning what it looks like to be an evangelical who know what he believes but is also compassionate and kind and genuine in a world where evangelical holds so much more negative connotation.

Knowing something is true or false is only half the battle. The other half is managing to actually believe it. This can be particularly difficult when people say hurtful things. I have been fighting this battle and hopefully talking about it will help me out and maybe even help someone else. Enjoy!

Welcome to the 20's! Can you believe its the new year already? I'm about to start my second semester of divinity school, but before we can properly move on and achieve our roaring 20's goals, we must reflect on what is behind us. In the spirit of that, this segment is a recap of 2019 and just a glimpse into what's to come!

Welcome to the second half of the Confessions of the Careful Poet anniversary reading! This segment will include poems from the third and final part of the book: Confessions of the Careful Poet. I hope you enjoy!

In a couple weeks, my book will turn one year old! Instead of smashing it into a cake, though, I figured I'd take it on a little birthday tour instead. So, this week, enjoy some poetry from Confessions of the Careful Poet complete with mediocre explanations for the origins of the poems. Check out the link below if you'd like to read them all.

Your name, your pronouns, your number

The three staples of a divinity school introduction. No, not your phone number, your enneagram type. 

I didn't have one for a long time, but I've finally settled on a type - I'm a 5 wing 6

Check out enneagraminstitute.com 

Going to woods, getting a oil change, Folgers Breakfast Blend coffee, making breakfast, getting called "Buddy"...all of these things remind me of one person. He taught me to be a good man when he didn't even know I was watching. This segment is about my dad. We have a complicated relationship, but I love him and he'd be proud of the kind of man I am.

Hey guess what...bodies aren't bad. It's a novel thought, I know. Learning how to live in my body instead of just ignoring it and trying to live as a disembodied brain is quite a difficult process, but it can be so rewarding. I hope you enjoy my ramblings about embodiment!

Growing up fundamentalist had its hard parts (I won't pretend otherwise), but I want to talk about some of the best parts of growing up in that church. Had I grown up anywhere else, I wouldn't be myself and I am so thankful for all the good parts of my childhood. I hope you enjoy!

On Sep. 17, 2018, I put out a segment called "On Being Seen" this is sort of a part 2. Today I want to talk about seeing myself and finally believing that maybe just maybe I'm worthy of unashamed love...go figure. Also, I'll be 2 months on T on Monday and that's just craziness! Enjoy!

There are things that it just sucks to accept. The reality of trauma or abuse or having to accept when something is just so unfair and there is nothing you can do to fix it. Hard truths suck, but they are so important. This segment is about some of the hard things I am learning to recognize and starting to accept...sort of.

Tomorrow, 9/28/19, will be my one month on T anniversary! Time goes by so freaking fast! With such an exciting milestone, I decided it was a good time for some reflection on this new stage of my life. So here ya go; some updates on transition, my personal life, my feelings about seminary, and my spiritual autobiography! Thanks for being on this journey with me and I hope you enjoy!

Hey everyone! This fall has been going by so quickly and my life is currently absorbed in work and Hebrew study groups, but I love it! Given the impending papers and exams, it's a good time for a poetry break! I hope you enjoy!

The Poems:

-Shaking Voices

-Storms

-How to Know When You're Falling

-The Poet's Dream

-All of the Above

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. Oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14 KJV

In this segment, I talk about my favorite psalm and how it has followed me throughout my life. Enjoy!

Do you ever have moments when you feel like this can't be real? There is no way this is your actual life. That can come in both a positive and negative flavor, but it can be a great feeling to feel grounded in the world. In this segment, I want to talk about dissociation, reality, and how interpretation changes everything. Enjoy!

Hey everyone, welcome back to Master of a Few. On this segment, I wanted to update you on some fantastic stuff in my life, but also talk about something that has been difficult for me. This segment is on acceptance, but not the acceptance you're thinking of. This is the kind of acceptance where you accept that some people will never be able to be happy for you or truly love you. It's hard, but it brings so much peace. I hope this helps someone!

Master of a Few has an Instagram! @mackofafew

Welcome to Season 3 of Master of a Few! It's time to switch some things up; starting with the beginning of the segment descriptions! 

This week's segment is an announcement of new beginnings, an explanation of the exciting things that are happening, and a blessing for all of you lovely people who are also at the start of something new. Thanks for listening thus far and I look forward to more great things to come!

 Hey everyone, it's Mack and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. I think you've been patient long enough...here is my big news and the story of how it came to be! Thank you so much to each person who has supported me and loved me. Please know that I would have loved to tell you in person, but this is the best I could do. 

Hey everyone, it's Mack and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. I know told you I would give you big news today, but I lied. I'm so sorry, but you have to wait one more week. As a consolation prize, though, here is some of the new poetry I've written! I hope you enjoy!

 Hey everyone, it's Mack, and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. Does anyone else struggle with waiting? I am a notoriously impatient person and I hate feeling like there is nothing to do. This has been my struggle for the summer, but particularly in the past weeks as I have been trying to live with WWJD on the forefront of my mind. So, in this segment, I talk about what it means to be Christ-like when you are in a time of rest or waiting or frankly, helplessness. Sometimes God brings us there for rest and sometimes it's to teach us patience. I am trying to learn both. I hope this helps somebody else who is finding themselves with nothing they can do.

Hey everyone, it's Mack, and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. Do you know where the motto "What Would Jesus Do?" came from? It is from an amazing book called "In His Steps" by Charles M. Sheldon. He wrote this book about the congregation of Henry Maxwell and the challenge they undertook. This challenge was to ask one question before making any decision "What would Jesus do?" and then to act accordingly regardless of the consequences. This is what I talk about in this week's segment of Master of Few. 

I'm taking on this challenge and I urge you to try it to. Let's see what happens when we let Christ's example become real in our lives.

Hey everyone, it's Mack, and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. Pride month is officially over, but guess what? The LGBTQ+ community doesn't just disappear and there are still queer kids out there who need help. As a teacher, I believe education is crucial for the protection of LGBTQ+ kids and in this segment, I want to talk about 3 ways I think teachers can help their queer students. I hope you enjoy this segment and I hope it helps!

Hey everyone! It's Mack and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. I'm in Nashville! That's right, I went to pride in Pittsburgh on Sunday and then drove all the way to Tennessee the next day! It has been quite and adventure and a serious lesson in trusting the Lord to work things out the way they are supposed to be worked out. God is good! I hope you enjoy the full story of what's been going on!

Hey everyone! It's Mack and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. Happy Pride Month! I get to go to pride this weekend, so I wanted to take a few minutes and explain why Pride is important to me and to the LGBTQ+ community. I hope this is informative for some people, but please keep in mind that these are only my views and I can in no way speak for the whole community. I can't wait for another chance to celebrate our community and I hope you get a chance to celebrate too! Stay safe and happy Pride!

Show me your Pride pics on Twitter! @Mackofafew

Hey everyone, it's Mack and welcome back to Master of a Few; the podcast where the curious mind meets too much time. How's it going? I've been gone for just under a month because I've been super busy graduating and doing all kinds of things, but I'm back now! This is going to be a two post kind of week, so I wanted to start with a life update and story time segment. I hope you enjoy!